Social Anxiety: The Silent Pandemic That Needs A Louder Voice | Kyle Mitchell | TEDxTullahoma

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  • Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 378

  • @bekah2235
    @bekah2235 2 года назад +275

    "Why aren't you normal" this made me cry

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +10

      A thought I think a lot of teen struggle with, unfortunately

    • @bekah2235
      @bekah2235 2 года назад +26

      @@socialanxietykyle I'm 23 and struggle with this

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +13

      @@bekah2235 that's about the time I started making changes. It doesn't matter how old you are. You can do it. I'm here to support you if you need it

    • @Channel24377
      @Channel24377 2 года назад +1

      @@bekah2235 same age does it affect you in the work place as well as me? That’s the main thing I’ve been struggling with people just think I’m weird or make their own conclusions cause I’m so quiet and freeze when I’m having anxiety.

    • @Channel24377
      @Channel24377 2 года назад

      @@socialanxietykyle what where the changes you made I’m 23? as well but I can’t seem to shake this disorder off and it’s affecting my self esteem so much theirs not a day I don’t go to work with my nerves up and I always get told I need to improve due to me being socially awkward at work.

  • @heatherwiner2883
    @heatherwiner2883 2 года назад +323

    Yes. I am a 56 year old woman who let social anxiety prevent me from having a life. Single for over 30 years and no kids and can not hold jobs. Been to counseling and tried many medications. Now I have been very depressed for the last decade and do not care whether I live or not. I see no point to it all. But, I keep trying. Thank you for this talk

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +52

      Thanks for sharing, Heather! Social anxiety is no joke that's for sure. I'm here to support in any way I can.

    • @whatthefleeb
      @whatthefleeb 2 года назад +19

      Heather, just want to let you know that I care that you keep on living. I know how hard it is to struggle through life with Social Anxiety (I'm 29 and struggle with it at the moment). Please keep trying to find the good around you, be it your loved ones, friends, pets, whatever it may be. I find the good around me in my select few close friends and nature at the moment, and they keep me going.

    • @iwonaroslonek
      @iwonaroslonek 2 года назад +15

      I am 57. It is possible to recover even if you have been suffering for half a century.
      It is a spiritual journey of re-connecting with little Heather.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +10

      @@iwonaroslonek Yes, you are exactly right! It is never too late but connecting back with your inner child is extremely helpful in this transformation!

    • @iwonaroslonek
      @iwonaroslonek 2 года назад +1

      @@socialanxietykyle indeed. I am glad you are helping people who are suffering from SAD. Healing does not lay in the brutal exposure therapy but in restoring connection with the one who was born a Miracle of Life. Without fear. In self compassion. Self respect. Self love.

  • @baycityblues1976
    @baycityblues1976 2 года назад +192

    Thank you for bringing more awareness to this debilitating disorder. I've been in a place I didn't want to live anymore because of loneliness and disconnection from life. The courage it takes to break free from this beast is monumental! I think it's important to accept yourself, all of yourself because the root of social anxiety is shame. If you can beat shame, you are free! I'm still a work in progress but I see some light at the end of the tunnel!

    • @bryanlopez4994
      @bryanlopez4994 2 года назад +6

      That’s great and hang in there 👍

    • @keithmarlin1873
      @keithmarlin1873 Год назад +1

      So insightful. thanks for this advice and good luck on getting rid of SA completely.

  • @janesmith4798
    @janesmith4798 Год назад +46

    This is the first time I am hearing someone else say out loud what I have been feeling for years. Every symptom that you described I experience on a regular basis. I think about it many many times a day. Nonetheless, I have been doing social challenges these past few months and it has been getting slightly better, but I know it will take a long time of consistent efforts to get there. Thank you for sharing your story. I was desperately looking for someone else who feels/has felt the same just to relate to one person. It gives me hope to hear you talk about the struggles you have faced whilst seeing how confident you are now.

  • @ifXDev
    @ifXDev Год назад +19

    Why I'm crying? I relate so much to this😭😭

  • @seyoungchi8551
    @seyoungchi8551 2 года назад +54

    His story of walking the school halls hit too close to home. I also did not have friends in elementary school. After I ate my lunch I would always go straight to the library, but in the situation where it opens late I would walk around school in order to kill time since I had no friends to hang out with or a safe space, other than the library, to spend my time in.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +5

      I knew I wasn't the only one. Hope you doing well

    • @Ira.and.Otters
      @Ira.and.Otters 2 года назад +5

      I was hiding under the stairs most of my free time at school. 😔

  • @iKyleTz
    @iKyleTz Год назад +15

    Great talk, thank you. My friend invited me to a party tomorrow, without even thinking about it I just said yes, before the anxiety took over. I’m going to try my hardest to talk to people, because you’re right, it’s like anything with life, how can you get over something unless you face it, you can’t.

  • @general_zizi1156
    @general_zizi1156 10 месяцев назад +52

    I have struggled with mental illness and my mental health since I was a kid. Before I even knew what those terms were. After years of depression, anxiety, and even an attempt to take my life, I never thought I would be able to live without SSRI medications. I clung to them because it was the only thing that made my mind quiet, but it also made me a zombie. Microdosing has given me control of my mental health for the first time, and they essentially gave me my life back.

    • @annemoore4461
      @annemoore4461 10 месяцев назад

      I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.

    • @ohmakure4716
      @ohmakure4716 10 месяцев назад

      The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @dilara4130
      @dilara4130 10 месяцев назад +1

      I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

    • @dilara4130
      @dilara4130 10 месяцев назад

      His name is *DR Adolf Petter*

    • @ryancihet555
      @ryancihet555 10 месяцев назад

      @ohmakure4716
      I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.

  • @FVerr
    @FVerr 2 года назад +16

    I take a bow for the path you have walked. From social anxiety (I can relate) to openly speaking about it like this, you need to have a big pair of balls. Damn. This is what I dream of.
    I think I *know* what to do, but I just don't seem to be able to put it into practice. I live in Belgium, and the awareness for social anxiety is practically zero here. I'd love to have a partner in crime and deal with it together, encourage each other, hold each other accountable for taking the appropriate actions. Unfortunately I don't know where to start.
    Having a mentor like you, Kyle, would probably be life-changing and everyone who does, is very lucky to have you.
    Kudos man.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      Thanks! That means a lot. And yes having an accountability partner is extremely helpful

  • @eldenlordryu2560
    @eldenlordryu2560 2 года назад +48

    Hi, I’m Alex. I am currently 21 and a 1L in law school. I have always had some social anxiety for as long as I can remember. In high school I had a small group of friends, but I never felt wholly connected to my class in the same way my friends were due to my fear interacting outside the group. In college, it was much the same. However, when the pandemic hit I lost the few friends I had, I feel due to my own anxiety that had worsened by being quarantined/isolated. I don’t want the same thing to happen in law school but so far I am repeating bad habits that I know are inherently self-destructive. Thank you for the video, Kyle. I’m trying to get better everyday.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +8

      That's all you can do man. Your goal should be to get better everyday. I love it! Reach out if you need support

    • @KarthiK-ke7mr
      @KarthiK-ke7mr 2 года назад +2

      I'm 22, and a law student too, i know how u feel, we and our profession are just two different pole

    • @nightingale7367
      @nightingale7367 2 года назад +8

      @@KarthiK-ke7mrFor some weird reason, I thought I was the only law student in the world who probably suffered from social anxiety. 😂

    • @_HeARTSconnection
      @_HeARTSconnection Год назад

      Thanks for sharing your story, Alex. It's only recently that I've realized that I have social anxiety. I started experiencing the symptoms in high school too and they really hit their peak when I was in law school. I think the overall pressure of the environment made it worse in my mind. I ended up graduating and passing the bar, but the social anxiety resulted in me not having any close connections from law school. I'm still figuring it out with therapy and mindfulness. I discovered a guy named Eckhart Tolle on RUclips that's been helping me let go of the shame and judgment that I think really fuels the social anxiety but... 😅 It is a beast! Some days are rough. I do document review litigation now and work from home, but I get out of the house often for improv class (which is uncomfortable sometimes but fun and I think it's helping lol). I'm glad that you're aware of the social anxiety now. I wish you the best on your law school and social anxiety journey! 🧡

  • @fgoodman100
    @fgoodman100 2 года назад +42

    Thanks so much for sharing your story, Kyle. This talk will help a lot of people who are struggling. I admire your courage.

  • @DrPatrickKingsep
    @DrPatrickKingsep 2 года назад +76

    Hi, this is Patrick from Mind Life Flow - so important to increase awareness of Social Anxiety - so thankyou for talking about this so openly Kyle! You should be commended for putting this information out there for others to hear and benefit from. What do people find their number one tip to deal with social anxiety that works? It can be such a debilitating disorder....

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +7

      Thanks, Patrick! That means a lot. Interested to hear replies to your question. I think a big think is to just start out by asking for help

    • @allisonrosenberg9524
      @allisonrosenberg9524 2 года назад +3

      Gradual exposure, exactly what he spoke about in his talk.

    • @gavinlynas2833
      @gavinlynas2833 Год назад

      Give up wanting to appear normal. Expect people to notice that something is wrong. They will. They may not say anything but they will pick up on the vibe. Own it. You can't hide it. The trying to hide it, to appear not anxious when you are, it amplifies it. If you need to break the ice just say it - "Sorry if I seem weird but I get socially anxious sometimes". Also expect people to understand because 95% of them will and will just be glad it wasn't because of something wrong with them. Everyone has struggled with shyness at some point so they can kinda relate. Let go of trying to shape others perception of you. Some people will like you and others won't, just move on. The next person will and if not the person after that. Also people are insecure in other ways too, it's not just you. The whole act they put on, it's just them hoping to make you like and respect them. They've also got the same concerns really just they're not in a total state about it like you. See the insecurities in others and be kind to them, and relieve your own tension in the process. Look at that person who dresses or acts terrible. Notice how you have your bad thought about them for a second or two then move on. That's what others are doing to you and most are so caught up they may not even notice you even if they look right at you. Sorry but you're not that special to others that they take the time to deeply ponder you, they've got other things on their mind.

  • @Ira.and.Otters
    @Ira.and.Otters 2 года назад +56

    Hi, I am 35 and have been socially anxious since I was a teenager. Sometimes I am close to panic attacks. I got married somehow.😄 But I still have no friends and my career growth is really slow. Thank you for raising the topic. The more we talk about social awkwardness, the more ways we receive to ease it.

    • @Channel24377
      @Channel24377 2 года назад +10

      Same at my work place people be rude to me cause I’m so awkward and it makes me feel worse.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +2

      Thanks! Yes, we need to get this message out more

  • @AlSneed-z9m
    @AlSneed-z9m Месяц назад +1

    The beginning of the video was very similar to what I experienced. I moved from a small secondary school with about 100 students to a big one with around 400-500. I used to do the same thing, walked the corridors every morning and lunch break, never had any friends my whole teenage life. I struggled a lot in school because all I could think about was how I was perceived by others, I ended up dropping out and becoming a recluse in my 20s, which is where I am now. I have never had a job or any social life. It ruined my youth. The good thing is now that I am getting help from a therapist and taking medication to help me come out of myself more, I found out that you just need to push yourself into uncomfortable situations to expand your comfort zone. I am now able to go to the shop and go into restaurants, I'm still not where I want to be but I'm getting closer and closer every day. My advice to anyone young reading this is to get help when you can, and to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

  • @germangamer2976
    @germangamer2976 11 месяцев назад +2

    I did the walking circles in the hall as well. Thanks for this

  • @rajshreerathore3326
    @rajshreerathore3326 2 года назад +27

    Oh.. I had a though childhood and teenage because of social anxiety. I always had fear being judged harshly.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +7

      Yes! Many do, and I hope this helps those see that they are not alone and that they can live a life without social anxiety in control

    • @rajshreerathore3326
      @rajshreerathore3326 2 года назад +3

      @@socialanxietykyle thank you for your work. I think having knowledge and awareness about a problem is the first step in dealing with a problem. You are helping people with that. Thanks a lot.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      @@rajshreerathore3326 Absolutely correct! Thanks!!

    • @MattMussett
      @MattMussett Год назад

      Stay strong 💪

  • @anujap7070
    @anujap7070 2 года назад +18

    Very well spoken…amazing public speaking skill. It was precise and to the point. Thank you for sharing your efforts. Kudos to you

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +3

      Thank you!! You have no idea what it means for you to say I have amazing public speaking skill....I used to be horrible at it

    • @anujap7070
      @anujap7070 2 года назад +2

      @@socialanxietykyle Your determination to succeed made all the difference. You are doing great work

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      @@anujap7070 Thank you!

  • @kanikanewsome6305
    @kanikanewsome6305 2 года назад +5

    Thank you this disorder affects abroad demographic. It affects a poor older tall large person as well. I've been called a gentle giant. You seem like a social butterfly I can't tell you ever had that disorder. As I listen to your tools on dealing with social anxiety I am smiling inside I feel so safe. Thank you I really needed this video🙏🏾🌞

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      I am glad you liked it. Trust me, I am not a social butterfly, but I can speak and be my full confident self now

  • @bobduncan4167
    @bobduncan4167 4 месяца назад +2

    Did the same thing my first day of highschool. I stayed in the bathroom the whole time until class started

  • @satyajitnamasudra3295
    @satyajitnamasudra3295 2 года назад +8

    I am still having social anxiety at the age of 27. Thanks for the great talk I will try to follow the 3 step process

    • @satyajitnamasudra3295
      @satyajitnamasudra3295 2 года назад +3

      @@commentscopyrightattorney5543 Thanks for your reply.
      I have this problem since as long as I can remember.
      I am good with a few of the friends I have but outside that circle I just become anxious.
      Symptoms are exactly as mentioned in this talk.
      I might give more details but I don't think the comment section will be the right place to discuss.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      Thanks for sharing! You've got plenty of time. Reach out to me if you'd like support

    • @mintbutterfly10
      @mintbutterfly10 Год назад

      I lose my hearing and vision a lot.
      Growing up, almost every time anyone spoke to me it was a criticism.
      I’m not through the tunnel far enough that I can see the landscape. Just some light sometimes when I’m not laying flat on my face.
      But some day I’m going to get there. And I’m gonna tell everyone about my steps ♥️

    • @Lipsasmr4
      @Lipsasmr4 Год назад

      I too have i am 26 year old women

  • @Flipperzeeer0
    @Flipperzeeer0 Год назад +2

    I don't know why this is resonating so much.

  • @Zapdos97
    @Zapdos97 2 года назад +69

    I fear I'll never get better. Felt this way at 15, now I'm 25. Feels impossible

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +13

      I felt that same thing. It is possible, but it's up to you

    • @juxiorhicho
      @juxiorhicho 2 года назад +22

      So true , for me it used to be so bad that I couldn’t even walk into a grocery store without feeling like everyone was looking at me . So I just forced my self to do it until I didn’t feel that way anymore . Then I started doing the same in social aspects with people . When my brain tells me go away , I purposely put myself into situations that force me to socialize so I’m improving. It’s still a work in progress tho.

    • @Zapdos97
      @Zapdos97 2 года назад +15

      @@juxiorhicho Yeah I still force myself but my brain doesn't seem to care lol. Maybe therapy would help but its tough gaining the courage.. I also have low confidence/self esteem so it feels amplified on top of the social anxiety. Wouldn't wish this feeling on the worst of humanity.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +2

      @@juxiorhicho You're an inspiration to many!

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +2

      @@Zapdos97 Therapy definitely can help! Just make sure you find someone that specializes in what you need help with...not all therapists are equal

  • @Bopsterjazz
    @Bopsterjazz Год назад +3

    I think the walking the halls thing is kinda funny because my high school was basically one big rectangle and that’s what literally everyone did every single morning. We’d get off the bus and if we had people to talk to, we’d walk in groups together until class started. I just recently recognized how much my social anxiety has dictated what I do and how I behave everyday. Thank you for this talk!

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      I've had so many open up to me now and tell me that they walked the halls too! I thought I was the only one back then, but I was not

  • @rorydanish
    @rorydanish 2 года назад +19

    i’m going to be sixteen years old in just a month. i have lost the past two years of my life to severe social anxiety disorder, and bipolar depression. i don’t attend in person school, i’ve lost all my friends, i am nobody. i’m losing hope for my future.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +3

      I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway I can help, I will. Reach out

    • @sharonsettle9079
      @sharonsettle9079 Год назад +4

      You are a good person you deserve to be happy.

    • @bryson9234
      @bryson9234 Год назад +1

      It will always get better with time❤stay strong nd Don't forget your unique nd beautiful

    • @ToddMilner-pn5ud
      @ToddMilner-pn5ud 5 месяцев назад

      Keep your head up u just a kid things will get better

  • @nesrinech3967
    @nesrinech3967 Год назад +2

    People think I m being rude because of my social anxiety, they don't know the courage it takes to do daily simple tasks , hope to overcome this one day.

  • @justincourt-spreadlovemove9620
    @justincourt-spreadlovemove9620 2 года назад +8

    Amazing job Kyle! You are for sure on your way to helping 1 million teens go from socially anxious to socially confident!!

  • @rohinihyde4766
    @rohinihyde4766 Год назад +2

    What an excellent talk. You are giving hope to so many Kyle - thank you.

  • @julieene
    @julieene 24 дня назад +2

    I love you man

  • @itstonycia
    @itstonycia 2 года назад +4

    2:13. Oh my gosh Kyle. I started tearing up at that part 😓

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      That part makes me tear up every time I say it. I can just feel myself in that stall every time

  • @tomkenny8635
    @tomkenny8635 Год назад +4

    To parents who have children with some social anxiety, get them into team sports or activities asap. I love my mom dearly but how I wish she pushed me more to get involved in my youth. It’s my only regret about life. I did ok but could have done better. ❤️

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      It's definitely helpful. Keep those social muscles working

  • @Manav0405
    @Manav0405 2 года назад +14

    This is a great talk - simple, clean, to the point, impactful! It also has a great graph! Impressive! 👌👏😊

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      Thank you Manav! I appreciate your feedback 🙏

  • @Hamburberg
    @Hamburberg 7 месяцев назад +1

    You may have just saved my life. Thank you.

  • @zzz6valvoline
    @zzz6valvoline Год назад +1

    This is excellent! I want people to know that this is how to approach challenges. There's nothing that can't be overcome with effort. Yes, it's scary, yes it's awkward, but like anything else, it becomes more natural with practice.

  • @San-hl2eu
    @San-hl2eu 2 года назад +100

    I'm tired of it, being afraid of phone calls, talking to people in person, always being nervous with even the people I know and having my mind go blank. It's like I have to work for what most people have always had. I don't know if it's social anxiety or just social awkwardness but it just seems impossible to overcome...

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +11

      I feel your pain. It's not fun but there is another side

    • @Ogulcan13
      @Ogulcan13 2 года назад +13

      I am wondering that when you are with people, do these thoughts cross your mind:
      - I don't know what to say
      - I can't be finding any joke to say
      - I am a boring person
      - I can't be finding cool answers to say
      - If somebody were me, they would have had better conversation
      - I will never be able to have a good conversation with anyone
      - I wish I was death, there is no point in living like this

    • @Alex22.92
      @Alex22.92 2 года назад +3

      @@Ogulcan13 this wasnt my comment but they are the exact things I get in my brain

    • @Ogulcan13
      @Ogulcan13 2 года назад +2

      @@Alex22.92 the worst thing is I cannot be sure if we will be okay..

    • @yolopicturesxd.4593
      @yolopicturesxd.4593 Год назад +7

      It isn't the fear of having social anxiety, it's the fear of being unable to connect with people and fulfilling basic human needs. Why is it really difficult to make friends when everyone needs one in this days?

  • @becauseofjulian123
    @becauseofjulian123 2 года назад +15

    Amazing talk Kyle, congrats on this milestone man

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      Thanks, Julian! Definitely a milestone, but a small stepping stone to what I'm working towards

  • @xjxy1213
    @xjxy1213 6 месяцев назад +2

    It’s not until a few years ago that I realized there are so many people suffer from social anxiety. This has been bothering me since 5th grade. I had wished I was “normal”. I hated how I felt but I didn’t know how to stop it. I’m 45 now, I care less and less about what other people think now. I keep reminding myself of “ok, not everyone likes me, so what? What can they do?”

    • @iTSY0URb0YEE
      @iTSY0URb0YEE 4 месяца назад

      I've had SAD since the age of 17, I'm now 45.. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy

  • @aliciamitchell1256
    @aliciamitchell1256 2 года назад +10

    Great talk!! This is so needed right now. I sense your passion and your story is so relatable. Anyone can start using your 3 step method immediately. Love this work you're doing!

  • @looney_tunes992
    @looney_tunes992 Месяц назад +1

    I have extreme social anxiety. Asking for help is extremely difficult

  • @vanciity
    @vanciity 9 месяцев назад +1

    i cant make friends in my college classes, in school i had no difficulty but after lockdown and covid its been a hassle! i just came into college and its exactly how he started off with his story i just wanna make one friend to get thru my classes and breaks but its so hard and i dont wanna be like this no more

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 8 месяцев назад

      That's a common story I hear about that happened because of the pandemic. I had SOOOOO MANY people reach out telling me that. You're not alone in this. I'd love to hear your plan to get that one friend you're looking for.

  • @Eksxx
    @Eksxx Год назад +76

    Made me incredibly emotional. I have always been this way. 26. Still this way. No friends. No boyfriend. No birthday parties, no brunches with the girls, no vacations with friends or baecations, no group chats…..just me and my lonesome desperately wishing it was different.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад +10

      I'm sorry to hear that. I hope my story gives you hope that it doesn't have to be that way forever

    • @CJLabay1
      @CJLabay1 Год назад

      Let's be friends. What's your IG or email?

    • @alexandriameyer9578
      @alexandriameyer9578 Год назад +1

      I am the same. I understand your pain. Sending love

    • @kourtneydotson5272
      @kourtneydotson5272 10 месяцев назад +2

      I am the same! Wanna be friends?

    • @Ballles-x8p
      @Ballles-x8p 9 месяцев назад +1

      Hi, i am also feeling this all, these days. I am also having nausea because of it helps me out guys if you have any solution please

  • @allimai
    @allimai 2 года назад +6

    This is my favorite ted talk ever!

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      Wow! I am honored! Thank you so much!!

    • @MattMussett
      @MattMussett Год назад

      Definitely needs more exposure alot of people have social aniexty.
      Its more of a stigma
      More people should talk up if they have it .

  • @idatait
    @idatait 2 года назад +23

    I have social anxiety. I can really relate to the story about walking around the hallway. Used to do that too in college. Once when I was traveling alone I stayed in a hostel and everyone was in the common room interacting and I couldn’t be there for more than a few minutes so I would go to the room to “check something” and obviously I thought everyone was watching and judging me. I thought about staying in the room alone but then I was so mad at myself that I’m so messed up. I decided to get together all my courage and walk up to people and talk to them. That actually ended up a successful interaction. Anyways it’s been like 10 years and I’m still struggling. I wonder when or if this will ever go away.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +2

      Thanks for sharing Tait! Anxiety never goes away...nor do we want it to as it is a powerful tool for survival. It's about finding ways to have anxiety show up when you need it...and not when you're walking into a room full of strangers, for examples.

  • @AsifShaikh-i9q
    @AsifShaikh-i9q Год назад +4

    Why I am the odd one this made me cry every time

  • @YangAlexander9
    @YangAlexander9 21 день назад

    Exactly what I have experienced and still I am going through. It really made a lot of destroy to my life.

  • @jeffcantwell7821
    @jeffcantwell7821 2 года назад +6

    Kyle thank you for talking about social anxiety and putting this out there you did a Great job a lot of helpful tips that I will be using I look forward to seeing more

  • @ambika2762
    @ambika2762 Год назад +2

    Great speech...loved it
    Listened something valuable before sleep...

  • @silverthunder3
    @silverthunder3 2 года назад +2

    Dude you just described my sophomore year to a T almost. My social skills had been destroyed by being in the group home (I was very isolated as we were not legally allowed to leave unless the staff were taking us for an outing or something) for most of the summer before that year while I was in between families and schools. I’m in my senior year now and I’ve gotten better, I’m still randomly pretty awkward at times and my anxiety will randomly spike but not quite like it was before, but ur speech definitely helped me out man. You’re definitely an inspiration for a lot of people.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      Love to hear that this has helped. Keep grinding and working on it. Love the progress you have made

  • @art-qk4jw
    @art-qk4jw Год назад +20

    I am very late for this, but it's the reason why I'm still single and don't have a successful career. Some days are really bad for the loneliness and depression that social anxiety causes. I just don't see an end to this, no light at the end of the tunnel yet. I did a similar thing Kyle did when I was in college. I also don't see myself finding a partner at my age, that's where the loneliness and depression really hit me. Thanks for reading.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад +4

      You can do this! I totally feel what you are saying. I thought I'd never create a family. Then I stopped focusing on trying to find my wife and just started focusing on working on me...not much longer is when my wife found me. This is just a small chapter in your story. Don't let it be your whole story

    • @sound4life805
      @sound4life805 Год назад +1

      Start by doing small intetactions, for me, even asking the people that organize the shelves at walmart where some product is, was so hard for me, but i started doing it and little by little start talking to other people, make sure to have a subtle smile to give a good impression :)

  • @goldenapplereviews9135
    @goldenapplereviews9135 2 года назад +1

    This guy is my new hero

  • @nini9868
    @nini9868 3 месяца назад +2

    Im ashamed to be 24 and still have social anxiety. Others think im just lazy or boring because im too ashamed to share whats really wrong with me.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 3 месяца назад +1

      I used to feel that way too. But you don't have to. The questions is are you ready to take action and make a change?

    • @BeritaUnchained-lj5vs
      @BeritaUnchained-lj5vs Месяц назад

      Howw😭😭ive tried ev rything i just dont know if ill ever be normal frr😭​@@socialanxietykyle

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Месяц назад +1

      @@BeritaUnchained-lj5vs have you tried everything? Have you tried these things consistently over a long period of time? Have you made tweaks to things you try as you go along? All questions to seriously ask yourself. Most of the time, we can absolutely do more, better, and be more consistent

  • @lisedauphinais5024
    @lisedauphinais5024 2 года назад +5

    For the last year, I've been studying a lot about trauma and somatic therapies. Affirmations, trying to convince ourselves to be something that we don't FEEL we are, might work with some people. But not with people who are living with trauma. So many people are doing everything that is possible to get better, to heal their anxieties, depression, feeling of shame, low self-esteem and so on. And it just doesn't work. Because their nervous system is dysregulated and lives in a survival mode. So trying to convince ourselves with our intellect won't help. Our nervous system won't respond to this. Fears are trapped in our body. And this is what we must address at first.
    So if you tried so hard to heal but are still struggling with social anxiety, please look for trauma informed therapists. Don't give up. There are new ways to heal this debiliting disorder.
    Thank you Kyle for bringing more awareness to this silent pandemic.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      Thank you Lise for sharing! Yes, we also must process through our traumas, which we have experienced. We all have trauma. Some people's trauma is more intense than others but we all have some including myself.

  • @Joshflo527
    @Joshflo527 2 года назад +1

    Thank you kyle. I will use these 3 steps. I'm looking forward to honk and wave too😄

  • @chosenremnant
    @chosenremnant Год назад +1

    Can’t wait to share this with my teenager❤

  • @84_it_akash_momale23
    @84_it_akash_momale23 2 года назад +5

    Thanks Kyle for sharing your experience, it helpful for many Student's, people's including me. Your 3 step process is really simple point to point and clear to understand. Once Again Thank You !!!

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      That's great to hear that your taking action! Keep at it

  • @vincentbryan1962
    @vincentbryan1962 2 года назад +5

    I thought I had social anxiety but after watching your video I realized…. I just really don’t like.. most people in general. Has nothing to do with wanting to make friends or fear or judgment from anybody. I just don’t like people lol Thank you

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      That's a good realization. I guess my question would be, why don't I like people?

    • @JamesHeller-if5kg
      @JamesHeller-if5kg Год назад

      I hate most people, but negative judgement effects me severely. and i can't kill them because ill go to jail. there's very few people I actually enjoy talking to, most people im just trying to get along with but the social comfort is not there and I always feel like im masking. I also have a very hard time being assertive.

  • @CreeperKiller420
    @CreeperKiller420 Год назад +1

    2:04 made me cry as well.

  • @alexandramendes9911
    @alexandramendes9911 2 года назад +7

    I felt this so bad in just 2 minutes

  • @AhmadAsifArifeen
    @AhmadAsifArifeen 4 месяца назад +1

    while the speaker having fun

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 3 месяца назад +2

      Of course, I'm having fun. I get to do something that scared me without the control of social anxiety anymore. There's nothing more fun than that

  • @gangadharkadam3155
    @gangadharkadam3155 Год назад +1

    Great to hear your experience. Thanks Kyle for sharing, really amezing talk👏

  • @jacintamumbi-f9o
    @jacintamumbi-f9o 7 месяцев назад +1

    My social anxiety is crippling. I choke on words and if i keep pushing my voice shakes uncontrolably. It's very embarrassing

  • @saraschultingkranz.
    @saraschultingkranz. 2 года назад +3

    How wonderful! Congratulations on a wonderful talk. So important.

  • @biochem2066
    @biochem2066 2 года назад +17

    I am suffering from SAD since last 15 yr. Now I am 28. My problem is getting severe day by day. I face very difficulty in eye contact while speaking to even my family members also...it embarrasse me.
    Due to social anxiety...I hv got symptoms of depression nd sometimes suicidal thoughts. I can't share my feelings to anybody. People always judge me in negative ways.. Their behaviour nd comments hurt me a lot . But I am helpless. I belong to a small town... where I can't get any therapist regarding this. I am completely helpless and hopeless. Please help me out.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +4

      Hey there. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Parent, friend, coworker, etc.? Talk to someone you love and trust and let them know how you're feeling. If you don't want them to give you advice, make sure you lead with that and that you just need someone to listen to get it all out. If therapy is something you'd like to do, there are tons of online therapy platforms where you can video call with a therapist. I highly recommend it. Remember, this is only temporary and not meant to last forever. You're one step away from seeing progress in yourself.

    • @Lipsasmr4
      @Lipsasmr4 Год назад +1

      Hey I too have social anxiety can we be friends 1 am 26

    • @firozwani
      @firozwani Год назад

      ​@@Lipsasmr4 same here😢

  • @JBurright12
    @JBurright12 2 года назад +6

    proud of you my dude!

  • @cathychats
    @cathychats 2 года назад +4

    praying helps, ask God to guide you and to be self-confident

  • @nasrinakter2560
    @nasrinakter2560 10 месяцев назад +1

    My man you really are killing it like damn

  • @3PointThreatPodcast
    @3PointThreatPodcast 2 года назад +5

    Keep on keeping on! Love this

  • @mikeash7428
    @mikeash7428 2 года назад +2

    What an inspirational talk! Thanks.

  • @xpertaab7261
    @xpertaab7261 Год назад +1

    Missed out on my teenage years of having fun with friends that I never had and now it’s just 2x harder to make friends because I’m busier with life and have less free time 😢

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      School is a unique social environment that most adults don't get access to again after graduating. I encourage you to try and set aside some time for this

  • @ludivinemusyck9552
    @ludivinemusyck9552 Год назад +3

    I cried

  • @richkadn9013
    @richkadn9013 2 года назад +4

    I can manage to talk or answer a short question in a public place but this would not stop me the nervousness from getting to me. My voice would probably breaking down and even run out of breath while doing it, my heart would definitely beat faster, and sometimes my hands or feet would be shaking.. I have confidence, I always want to challenge myself but all these I mention above make it impossible and this literally killing me. Apart from that my sleep is bad, my digestion is bad, my emotional health not good.. I hope I’m not cursed and all these symptoms are related to the anxiety 😔

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      I can relate to the symptoms you are feeling. What's a baby step you can take?

    • @richkadn9013
      @richkadn9013 2 года назад +1

      @@socialanxietykyle I believe I can take any step but my problem is even though I take step, the nervous feeling won’t stop. Just the thought of something give a quick anxiousness in my chest. I’m planning to visit a neurologist since they specialize in nervous system. If that doesn’t work I’m going to psychiatrist for medication and exposure therapy. If meds can keep calm in public interaction then exposure should be fine

  • @jimmcc2133
    @jimmcc2133 2 года назад +1

    Thank you. Keep on talking. Your an inspiring young man !!!

  • @proxy_server
    @proxy_server Год назад

    I am suppressed because of this anxiety. I'm 50/50 about living or dying. I'm starting to question my existence and the purpose of life.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      Anxiety can be rough. We all have purpose...it can take a while to find that. Be patient. Find ways to enjoy the process.

  • @me_vj26
    @me_vj26 Год назад +4

    It is exactly opposite in my case.. in school I was every extroverted person that too as an overweight girl,everybody in school knew me but when I entered college I slowly realise that not everybody is nice.. professors,fellow students were rude and judgemental. I got into toxic relationship..there was crying and drama everyday. If that wasn't enough I lost my mother at the age of 19. That was very tough time for me. My ex put me in isolation to complete his narcissist acts. Then in 2020 lockdown happened. I found out my father having affair with neighbor woman who was already married and had a little kid. I could not process my emotions. After having enough with everyone, all that put me in hospital bed for three days and also I was diagnosed with major depression. With help of psychiatrist that I almost healed. I never actively try to get a job because I think I'm worthless and I don't know anything. Right now I didn't step out of my home from past 6 weeks. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I became like this. I cry almost everyday remembering my mother. I want to go out cause I'm just 24 rn but I cannot gather enough courage for going out.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      That sounds challenging for sure. One step at a time. Are you still seeing a psychiatrist or another mental health professional?

  • @user-lr3yw1gu4m
    @user-lr3yw1gu4m 27 дней назад +1

    Growing closer to Jesus has helped me a lot with getting rid of fear of people

  • @mulattopapi9741
    @mulattopapi9741 7 месяцев назад +1

    I just thought as I got older it would go away, plot twist it gets worse but I’m medicated now and my symptoms have reduced pretty noticeably . Social anxiety stopped me from doing many things I wanted to do in life it’s such an irrational fear .

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 7 месяцев назад

      Irrational fear is a perfect way to describe it. It can feel so rational in the moment though

  • @sharonsettle9079
    @sharonsettle9079 2 года назад +3

    I've had social anxiety since I was 8 years old I'm now 53 years old, I had it for 45 years.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      Sorry to hear that sharon. It's never too late to start taking action and feeling better

  • @engineershirshahmohmand6042
    @engineershirshahmohmand6042 2 года назад +2

    very nice speech, please any medication to avoid social phobia

  • @zentzu4003
    @zentzu4003 Месяц назад +1

    i done social exposure therapy for two years and got nowhere, i wonder sometimes if people that think they have social anxiety are actually undiagnosed borderlines

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Месяц назад

      I'd say something needs to change then. Perhaps, the exposure therapy isn't being done in the most effective way...there is a wrong way to do it. Maybe it needs to be paired more with CBT habits/techniques. These are all just theories as I don't know your story

  • @jeremygreene1599
    @jeremygreene1599 10 месяцев назад +1

    you are AMAZING

  • @magicalunicorndonuts9566
    @magicalunicorndonuts9566 10 месяцев назад +1

    I am so proud of myself, I started out to shy, and anxious whith zero confidence, and now I am more confident, and can talk to people when I want and need to. The only struggle for me is when I dont want to, and dont have to, like teaching out to friends, or talking to a boy I like. What would you recommend?

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 7 месяцев назад

      I have some videos on my channel that I think would help you answer this question

  • @officialrizao2736
    @officialrizao2736 Год назад +6

    I feel like the one thing stopping me for becoming who i am destined to be, is social anxiety. I want to open up a business but i can't seem to even talk to my family without being social anxious, Got any tips??

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      I have 3 tips in the video haha. What are you looking for exactly?

  • @ChrisBrooksbank
    @ChrisBrooksbank 2 года назад +1

    walking the halls for 40 minutes, tbh that might be a plan I would consider now

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      Maybe that's where you start until you go on to take a challenge

  • @spirofarmaku6772
    @spirofarmaku6772 2 года назад +11

    Society made me social anxious

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +2

      I can understand that, especially with COVID. That made a lot of people feel socially anxious, even people who never really struggled with it in the past

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      @B D you think that's true or one of those stories our brain's tell us sometimes?

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      ​@B D I would continue to question that thought of people thinking you want something. Social anxiety made me feel like I was a mind reader, but most of the time, I found I was far off!
      I agree that we need to approach people without the armor, as you nicely put it. We're all human beings with fear and insecurities but a lot of times we forget that and think we are alone with our fears/insecurities.
      I appreciate the dialogue...sorry for late reply

    • @mirelion5328
      @mirelion5328 2 года назад

      It always does

  • @georgiakommatas3043
    @georgiakommatas3043 Год назад +1

    excellent speaking !!

  • @edwardasuquo3963
    @edwardasuquo3963 Год назад +1

    Can my SAD leave me alone...so I can just graduate college and move on to do greater things in life. This is so really hard for me right now. Some days I fear it'd be this way forever, like I can't even imagine myself being better. I just want to breathe in peace, that's all....in the end, the onus falls on me

  • @hoihoi1473
    @hoihoi1473 2 года назад +3

    I struggle with this

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      I hope you know you are not alone and that there is hope for you. You can live life on your terms instead of social anxiety's

  • @abdullahamir2940
    @abdullahamir2940 Год назад +2

    I'm 22 and i used to get humiliated so bad infornt of entire class by my school mates . I still carry dat trauma and dealing with my self-doubt. I wanna make friends but I'm afraid of humiliation.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle Год назад

      That means you haven't processed that trauma. A therapist can help you with this

  • @Mardoux-yu6iu
    @Mardoux-yu6iu 11 месяцев назад

    If you can't love yourself,start to others , actually that way you also love yourself by being understable and become less unlovable to yourself

  • @razaqahariz2516
    @razaqahariz2516 2 года назад +1

    oh god this is too relatable

  • @6FootVampire
    @6FootVampire 5 месяцев назад +1

    I found my own way to cure social anxiety, bare with me im dead serious.
    When i buy shoes i but 2 pairs of the same shoe buy with different colors.
    For example: i wear one red and a blue shoe, or a pink and a yellow shoe.
    People will look at you, some giggle, some stares, some probably think youre slow.
    After 2 weeks i dont mind when people notice me, look at me, or what they might think of me. It REALLY WORKS for me, just wanted to share.
    Anxiety is now 10% of what it was. Different color shoes works as a exposure therapy.
    I have now had 2 months with zero panic attacks. Try it, youll be amazed!

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 4 месяца назад

      That's a good form of exposure therapy! Keep at it and doing things once you get comfortable with one thing

    • @6FootVampire
      @6FootVampire 4 месяца назад

      @@socialanxietykyle 😃

  • @janekelley6174
    @janekelley6174 2 года назад +2

    Nice talk and compelling topic!

  • @brandyalibrio6374
    @brandyalibrio6374 2 года назад +3

    Inspiring talk

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      Thank you, Brandy! It feels great to know this is inspiring people to take action in their lives!

  • @vincent2826
    @vincent2826 2 года назад +3

    3:59 I'm doing this tomorrow in my last class wish me luck aswell

  • @anyamitchell2033
    @anyamitchell2033 2 года назад +4

    Good job Kyle!!

  • @paran315
    @paran315 2 года назад +3

    I practically couldn't talk to people since 2nd grade. Now I'm 30 and just barely able to order something over the phone. Social anxiety ruined my life.

    • @lettheriver
      @lettheriver 2 года назад +1

      Rebuke in the name of Jesus.

    • @lettheriver
      @lettheriver 2 года назад

      Yes, the fear. Works for everyone i know.

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад

      I am sorry to hear that. It doesn't have to control the rest of your life

    • @mkdiablo995
      @mkdiablo995 Год назад

      ​@socialanxietykyle it doesnt have to but it does . Its like a disease

  • @jamessier
    @jamessier Год назад +3

    I can feel his discomfort, nervousness, lack of sufficient breathing as he's presenting. I'm glad he's working on himself and fighting.

  • @soul124d
    @soul124d 2 года назад +4

    I once got hit myself so bad due to social anxiety my mind didn't worked with me

  • @beebop90
    @beebop90 Год назад +2

    Dang, exactly!!

  • @drawwithambu65
    @drawwithambu65 2 года назад +5

    I'm suffering through a lot of Social anxiety....but I'm trying my best to get out of it...... it's really difficult but I'll make it..😌😌

    • @bryanlopez4994
      @bryanlopez4994 2 года назад +2

      I’m still suffering with it at age 40 even though it’s gotten better but it’s a work in progress but hang in there you are not alone .

    • @drawwithambu65
      @drawwithambu65 2 года назад +2

      @@bryanlopez4994 thank you☺️

    • @socialanxietykyle
      @socialanxietykyle 2 года назад +1

      I respect your optimistic outlook. You absolutely can take back control from social anxiety. Stay consistent with your actions on the steps and you will get there! Sending you positive vibes!!!

  • @simplyredislandgirl
    @simplyredislandgirl 2 года назад +5

    Well said!👍👏💪🤓