Trad wife since 1998 FULL-TIME (understatement) Career rewarded by delayed gratification Investing everything in a legacy Grace in monotony is the invisible strength of true trad wife Biggest gamble with your life either for good or bad No overt control but absolute soft, quiet, deep power that only a woman is capable of-the kind of power that never needs to take credit while patiently keeping her thumb on the scale without anyone’s noticing The hand that rocks the cradle RULES THE WORLD😎
I have been a stay at home mom and wife since 1999. I was 19. We have 3 kids. 24. 23 and 21. Two are married and youngest lives with his gf. So we are empty nesters. I manage all of the finances. My husband makes the money and his paycheck always goes in to my account. We both decided this from the first day we got married. I'll stay home but only if I get to manage the $.
My issue with tradwife influencers is that they are selling and promoting a lifestyle that they’re not actually living. They are entrepreneurs and have financial freedom.
This is exactly it. Many of the women actually living this lifestyle are out of luck should their relationships sour. Letting the man develop the professional portfolio while they stay home doesn't enable them to build a strong life for themselves if the guy leaves or decides to mistreat them.
My only issue with the trad wife movement, is they try to glamorize what “pre feminism time” was like. Bubble baths, face masks, floral dresses, baking pie, a glass of wine at the end of the day with a loving man. That wasn’t the case for most women, that’s why they started the feminism movement to begin with. If you find a good man, do what you want. The safety net though, allowing women the autonomy, to chose their life, can never go away. It’s needed.
Yeah a lot of women of my grandma’s time (farm wives) dealt with alcoholic losers who beat them and had sex with the farm animals. No options to get away from that. Count me OUT.
The trad wife movement right now gives “modest only fans” vibes to me. These beautiful, innocent faces bending over their cameras wearing peasant floral dresses with cinched aprons 😏 Thirst trap 🪤 for red pill bros
But in reality they arent. This is neo-traditionalism. It ISNT 1950 and we know that women have financial independence. We know they influencers get paid and we know they are the profiting off their business. Maybe we should take it as we see it and stop pretending that they are pretending to glamorize a bygone era.
How can people be so stupid and believe everything they hear and know nothing about history😂 pre feminism was more about we married because we had sex/ want to have sex/ woman needed somewhere to live. Then lifetime of cooking, cleaning, having bad sex and pushing out children. Yeay
Never have never will. It’s fucked up that women can’t stand up for women or they risk a ton of fallout. But not me. So I’ll shout for all of us who can’t 👊🏻
Im a muslim hijabi girl from tunisia who refused to be a trad wife , i have m'y own business im childfree and happy with m'y choices and i was following shallon since 2018 , you are my idiol you changed m'y life and you helped me embrasse m'y alpha female diva soooo Grateful for you merci beaucoup ma puce
@@Eevanova my aunt and my two older sisters are not wearing hijab and also most of m'y Friends Tunisia IS a secular country and i choose to Wear hijab m'y parents Never interfeer in my choices and one day if i want to Take it i will do it.Tunisia IS diffrent than all other arabic countries
Divorce lawyer here 🙋🏻♀️never ever ever give up ur financial power away to another person… it’s a recipe for disaster! At the end of the day, the person who gives you money is the person who will have 100% control over you and will ruin ur life. Myabe not now but eventually. The only time a trad wife relationship would work is of you come from money and have access to resources that you could tap into if shit hits the fan. If u are an average woman without money, don’t do this to urself
I'm an attorney, and legally...if someone is a 'trad wife' your husband is essentially your boss. Only they pay you in room and board, not wages. And you don't get time off, you're a trad wife on duty 24/7. And your value as an employee goes down over time, not up. And your 'coworkers' are needy children who actively create more work for you, not less, so basically the coworkers from hell. And when your children are not around, you're just...entirely alone, at home, doing domestic labor. It's easy to think the grass is always greener, but your boss husband can just wake up one day and want to leave you, and if you're a trad wife.....you're screwed. You can be fired without cause from this unpaid job. It's not the princess fantasy the internet sells it as. There's a reason feminists fought so hard for access to the workforce, the only thing that will set women free is MONEY IN THEIR OWN NAME.
As a career trad wife of 26 years, I would like to add to your comment: The whole goal of a trad wife/SAHM is to make herself obsolete, unnecessary, and a good memory. The scaffolding she provides is taken as “part of the furniture”. “Coworkers”-hardly! Customers of the most undomesticated ilk, more like! She plays fast and loose with her financial security, but if her life goes a certain way, she stands to inherit everything from her boss. Her positive impact remains unnoticed until her “customers” become their own “bosses”. Only then is her true value seen and assessed to be the embodiment of the word “invaluable”.
Thank you for sharing your valuable insight and reminding me that women had to fight for access to the workforce. I've been taking that access for granted
From a wider socio-cultural perspective, the Trad Wife movement seems like an overcorrection from the 2010's Girlboss era, we go from one extreme to the next.
Social media completely romanticises being a tradwife. My mom was a stay at home mother and it is not frolicking in a field picking lemons from your lemon tree, or baking cookies in a floral dress. You not only have to take care of children 24/7, and I love kids but they are fucking difficult 😂, but you also maintain the home, cleaning dishes, washing, cooking, the list is endless. It is a physically and emotionally draining job, and it can also be incredibly lonely because you have no life of your own when you’re running around looking after kids all day, and receiving no practical help from your man.
Dude, being a stay at home mom sounds like the hardest thing ever. Just relentless. Props to anyone who can do it, but yeah, zero part of me thinks it’s a frolic based existence!
I actually have so much respect for stay at home mothers because I’ve seen how difficult it can be, but it’s annoying to see on social media because it’s a lie. Unless you’ve married a rich man, who can facilitate that lifestyle, you’re not making butter in the kitchen all day, you’re busting your ass everyday.
Most women have to do all that as well as work… or pay someone to do half of it anyway. In Australian divorce whether you work or not the person who has custody of the kids normally gets 75% of the assets
🙋🏼♀️Okay, I’m a stay at home mom to a 2 year old and 7 month old, and yeah, relentless is the perfect word. It’s very hard. And yet I must say, I love the romanticized image of it on social media. It may not be 100% realistic, but it gives great ideas of things you might want to lean into or optimize as a stay at home mom. If instead of comparing yourself, you can adjust your mindset to “good for her. I want to try xyz idea” that’s great. I think a lot of people could benefit from more of a “good for her” mindset.
You have to remember she’s the one who chose that man. This trad wife thing is going through the same thing marriage has, people doing it wrong then finding another thing to blame other than their own choices.
maybe he shouldn't have leave his wife? why does the blame always go on women. people change and LIE all the time to get what they want @@FaithAnswered
Thank you for speaking up!!! I’m so sick of BIOLOGICAL MEN TELLING WOMEN HOW to be women. We demand respect & our own spaces for US. We are women. We matter. Our spaces matter. It’s ridiculous that this is even a debate.
Yeah it's a false analogy that men created in their heads to make themselves look good if millions of women were being treated great then 80-90 percent of these women wouldn't be initiating divorces in some countries there still treated like inferiors too for wanting basic opportunities society has coddled men and lied to women nobody is being treated great it's a delusion that men created to keep the peace and actions speak louder then words. I much rather hear from these millions of women that are being treated great not there husband because men don't get to decide how women feel about men. If anything it's millions of men being treated great and millions of pick mes coddling these men and that's how they turn evil. Being kind to women is the bare minimum it doesn't mean they actually care about women.
Being a trad wife is different than being a stay at home mom. The influencers calling themselves trad wives are making a political statement that women should submit to their husbands, stay in the home, and adhere to "traditional values". There are many stay at home moms who aren't "trad wives" and that's a fine choice, but when you add in that women should submit, etc, it makes sense why other women are rubbed the wrong way
But Shallon, I feel like you missed a large component of this argument and that is comparing a trad wife to a woman in today’s society WITH kids. Yes it’s more defined work hours and benefits/monetary gain in a traditional job, but you completely overlooked the fact that being a working mom is a SCAM. And I think that’s what people are fed up with. A lot of dads and husbands barely cook, clean, or help with the kids morning/night routine so it mostly falls on the mother who just wrapped up her 9-5 work day. It’s essentially having two/three jobs. The stress of balancing both leads women to an early grave and certainly ages/packs the pounds which also doesn’t help with desirability/market value if the husband leaves. Honestly it’s so exhausting either way.
Working moms are fully being scammed- they literally have the worst of both worlds. Men are LAPPING THIS UP. It’s horrific. When guys have given me grief for not wanting kids I point out that absolutely nothing gets to come off my plate if I’m a mom. Things are only added to an already insane schedule. And I’m sure to point out that that’s because THEY are not rich. “I would have to keep working because you don’t earn enough to provide for me and a baby, as a man should.”💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 That shuts them up REAL QUICK.
@@shallonlester YES as you should! I just don’t see a clear path forward when it comes to being a woman in todays world who potentially wants children. It feels so bleak and a lose lose situation 😢
But the solution to that is not women giving up their autonomous by becoming tradwives. The solution SHOULD be men finally STEPPING UP. It’s such a shame what women are subjected to by the very people who are supposed to protect and love us.
@@jarkachalmovianska7812 I mean🤷♀️ “you do stupid things, you win stupid prizes” are women so righteous that they are above judgement and criticism? Take for instance her videos of Kim Kardashian. They cover everything from criticizing her flaws to appreciating her strengths. So if and when the Whisper Goose decides to display her redeeming qualities, I’m sure Shallon will make a video that we can all sit down, discuss and learn from them. PS: it’s not just Selena, Megan Markle isn’t welcome here either so do with that information what you may. 🫡
The only cases where I saw this “trad wife” thing work for the woman is when she has generational wealth. Unless you have money / inheritance from your parents (NoT your husband!) , it’s probably not a good idea!
They are saying "Trad wife" but also saying influencers, so they are actually earning via social media. They are not authentic real trad wife. They are putting a mask for social media and found a way to earn.
Just the idea of relying on a man for your livelihood is absolutely terrifying!!! As Shallon has said many times, financial independence is the only independence!! I am a single woman with a nice car and house that I own, have a great career, and most importantly, I don’t rely on someone’s dusty ass son for anything! 🗣️🙌🏼
I think I figured out why the trad wife social media content feels so off. Traditional femininity is about humility, focusing on your home, your family, and a quiet resilience/inner peace. Posting your life all over social media is antithetical to that.
Trad wives on social media vibes like modest only fans. They make sure that their cleavage is always in the frame whilst making doe eyes at the camera. Thirst trap for red pill bros 🪤
Also, they make quite a lot of money off of social media, so they aren't really trad wives in that sense. Most likely the know they will get clicks if the exaggerate and provoke.
Exactly. The whole trad wife concept is nothing new and these influencers are just using it as a way to make money. It’s like cosplay. My grandma who raised 5 kids in the 60s wouldn’t have had the time to film herself doing household chores all while wearing the perfect outfit/makeup and perfectly decorated home. Give me a break.
That’s crossed my mind also, are people just living in extremely cheap markets? A lot of these tad wives are homesteading, I don’t know if that’s cheaper or more expensive?
Ladies…a career in technology can get you the life of a stay at home mom and the salary of a man. Go to a coding bootcamp for a few months and change your life. I don’t even have a degree in computer science. You also don’t need to code to have a tech career. I’m a 6 figure mom with a hybrid job. Baby only goes to daycare 2 times a week and she loves it. I get all the autonomy of stay at home mom life 5 days a week…but I’m making my money. I listen in on meetings while maintaining my home. I pack a whole week of work into the 2 days I’m in office, and I never work past 4pm. And I’m not a burden to my husband. When he wanted to make a career shift last year, we comfortably lived while he followed his dreams for 6 months. He’s in a much better position now and HAPPIER. I’m sorry but why can’t we consider their mental health and wellbeing too? Supporting my home for those 6 months was not easy and it was only temporary. I cannot IMAGINE being a man and having that pressure ALL THE TIME.
@@biancapearson8841 I did software engineering bootcamp through Coding Temple and I’m an alumni career coach there on the side. I learned Python and SQL…but as I said above, I actually don’t code at all at my job. Remember there are LOTS of tech roles that don’t require coding. Keep it in mind because bootcamp is not cheap!
@@iamtheboneofmysword607 It's so hard to get into UX now. And once you do there are layoffs and you're unemployed for like 6-9mos. I wonder if it's worth it to try
THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING UP FOR WOMEN!! I’m so tired of biological MEN once again, rebranding womanhood & telling us what it means to be a woman & what we are allowed to be offended by…in our…own…spaces.
I'd rather listen to older moms who have been trad wives than the current ones glamorizing it. How many women in their 50s+ recommend it? Making your husband and children your whole life is how you lose yourself. Divorce happens. Entering the job market, years later with no experience is a nightmare. If your dream is to get married and have children, that’s fine. Maybe finding a better work situation would be better. (Work fewer hours, figure out your passion, work from home). Completely cutting yourself out of the job market isn't smart. People should remember that "TRAD WIVES" ONLINE ARE CONTENT CREATORS. They get on podcasts, get sponsors, make ad revenue, etc. They have something to put on their resume. Regular trad wives who stayed out of the workforce don't.
Exactly... what if one day you wake up and decide you don't love your husband anymore? What if it's the other way around? The only time I have seen women happy in long-term marriages is when they are equal. Tradwifes often suffer financial abuse and have to work 5x to get independent once they decide to leave their husbands, or the husbands decide to disregard them and their children for a younger woman
@@brooklynsbaby4367 Yes. Shallon said this perfectly. The imbalance creates a parent-child dynamic. But children grow up and their youth is an excuse for their inexperience. What excuse do trad wives have if they have to re-enter the workforce with a huge gap in their resume? You're an adult and you're making yourself weaker by putting yourself in that position. Men are going to look at you as inferior because you don't have anything of your own.
@@natashamoriarty8629 Stimulation and curiosity are so important to the human mind. We are a curious species. In your example, it's not even about money, it's the mental aspect of it. People misattribute these characteristics as manly when it's really both men and women. It's part of human nature. As a human being, if you feel like you're not being challenged, you'll start losing your mind.
@@natashamoriarty8629 Yes! This is why I don't agree with people making this a gender difference. It goes back to us being in the animal kingdom. Contributing to our community, being challenged, and getting recognition. Looking for new land or trying to understand the universe. Now, we have jobs with paychecks. The personal goals you set for yourself are what shape your identity. This has helped us survive and thrive. These things were taken when women became trad wives (for most of human history, women weren't trad wives). Now that women fought back for those freedoms, we have a choice. I think the biggest thing we have to do is reframe fatherhood for men because a strong man wouldn't diminish his wife's personal identity outside of motherhood. Thank you for replying!!
@@natashamoriarty8629 Yes! For most of human history, we weren't trad wives. Both men and women hunted and gathered. We took care of our tribe. We also created things out of necessity and pondered about the universe. Curiosity is actually what helps us grow knowledge. Trad wives don't have that. The social part of being a worker and the monetary part is important to building your identity as an individual. The money is a "you're getting somewhere" signal. That's why how rich you are doesn't matter in a self-esteem sense because working in this career is stimulating your brain. That is so important to our make-up as human beings. Before women were pushed out of work (or it was for poor women & stigmatized). Misogyny has a lot to do with this. When men become fathers they don't do their fair share of the parenting. They don't value women's time because they don't see their wives as their own individuals with their own goals. Working mothers and working fathers don't do the same AT ALL. This is why I'm so against being a trad wife. You NEED something of your own. You'll drive yourself insane if you don't get it. Thank you for replying!
“Her power is bestowed upon her. Real power is money you make and YOU control.” I have CHILLS Shallon - I’ve been trying to figure out why the idea of marriage is so stressful for me, and it’s because of this. I want my own power. This is truly so helpful!
You remember that psychology experiment on social hierarchy? The one where they made some people prisoners and others guards? They had to end the experiment early because the guards started to treat the prisoners so terribly. When I stayed home with my son after some years or working, his dad changed. He started to treat me as a subordinate. He forgot I was supporting his career and working to care for his child. He started treating me like a slave. I became an employee. If something wasn’t done he felt he could criticize me like I was an extension of him and not a person with days where I felt tired. If made the choice to play with my son instead of cleaning he felt like he could belittle my choice. And this is why women fought to get out of that. It messes with a man’s head if he is weak or had sexist thoughts hidden below or is just an asshole. One I was working again if he did that I could say, “I don’t need you to pay for that so you can’t hold it over my head that you fed me” I’m simplifying but that is the gist. Ideally you find a man who values that work, feels like it’s an equal team if you want to do the trad wife thing.
Could you do a video on Megan Fox’s interview on Call Her Daddy? I just find it hard to understand her. In retrospect she acknowledges how young she was when she started a relationship with her ex husband and within three weeks of their relationship ending she’s already in another relationship. How should you feel if your ex moves on so quickly? Also, why do some women always find themselves in a relationship and others find it hard to get into a relationship. Or in general make sense of some of the things she was saying. What it is about people who are introverted yet live in the public eye, claim they don’t want marriage but they themselves are engaged, or they’re sensitive to criticism but doesn’t change their lifestyle. When is the attention seeking no longer a behavior but your personality.
Yes!! Her interview was a bit chaotic. And that’s a really good point, why does some girls seem to have an endless string of boyfriends while other girls are on the complete opposite end of the Spectrum!
Because some women put up with shit men do and some don't. All my girlfriends that are hopping from long term relationship to long term relationship deal with stuff their boyfriends do, I would never tolerate. Look at Meghan and MGK. Do you think someone like Shallon would have tolerance for MGKs behavior? 😂
Becouse some women are very beautiful or popular or wealth, some of them have those three things going on, and for regular women it's difficult to be in a relationship, becouse most men gravitates towards beautiful, sparkle, lively, upper glass women.
Man, this conversation is so valid and important. I’m a single mother of one son. My son’s father [loose term] told me for 4 years he wanted a baby. I fell pregnant and he left with an astonishing quickness. I made really good money for myself for a good time, was in school. Then I became sick. It’s been hard. I don’t get child support and don’t want it. My son’s father will never be able to say he did a thing to contribute to my son and I like to keep it that way. My thing is: I’ve dated successful men and I can’t ever get to the point of love, or being in love. I don’t know what it is. I fall for men that I’m above, is various ways. I hate to say that but it’s just the truth. I feel uncomfortable when a man pays for anything or fixes anything and I know the psychological aspect of it, but I fail to change it, I simply don’t know how. I’m exhausted of being a rehab for men, being the smartest woman in the room. So tired that my body is sick too. My grandmother is alone and has been for about 20 years, my mother is stunning and runs circles around anyone mentally and wants nothing to do with men. She’s been alone for years, won’t even let a man touch her. I went 4 years with no dating, no sex and while it’s peaceful, I found myself in another dead end relationship that I had to end recently. I don’t want the life my mom and nana have. I’m good being alone, too good. But it doesn’t serve us in the end very well. I guess I’ve lost hope. I have hope for others, genuinely, by the millions but for myself it’s a different story. Thank you Shallon, for sharing your mind here. You’re doing a very good thing my dear!
I guess im a "trad wife", but i dont feel an imbalance of power. We are a team. We make decisions together & my husband will do anything asked of him. He is gone most of the week but will still walk in the door then wash the dishes before bed even when i tell him not to. Taking care of us makes him happy & taking care of my family/home make me happy. Its nice to have a stable environment with someone who you know you can depend on
You are not a trad wife, you are a spoiled girlie ❤️ this is how it’s supposed to be… hopefully he funds your own personal retirement account and investment portfolio every month too for security in case things changed or something happened. Happy for you!!
I feel so burned down at work that staying home, cooking, cleaning and watching after the children became such a dream. I'd be so happy to do it for the next 2-3 years, but cannot imagine all life.
@chelseamiracle128 I was always a nurturer and I always loved the idea of trad wife life. But it's such a hard core life when it's not just cute little hobby. I think I was kind-of the original cosplay tradwife. I had an apron collection. I enjoy vintage fashion... Babe with 3 kids.. there is no time for fashion. My apron collection all have stains on them now. There is no time to do my hair perfectly. The husband was no help. The man made my life a living hell. I love my kids and no regrets but it was a crazy struggle to get away from him and gain independence. We must warn the others lol!!!
I would only be a trad wife if I got to stay childless and was married to a unicorn man (emotionally intelligent & supportive, kind, generous all the qualities we’re all looking for) who gave me around the same amount of money or more as I made at my job.
@@JaZmine147 No man will have her as a trad wife if the things she require are not met. So it doesn’t matter if some man decides he won’t do those things because they were never an option to begin with. You obviously are not comprehending.
Shallon you need to debate JustPearlyThings on this topic. Her recent debate with Michael Knowles was so hard to watch. 🥴 On another note Happy International Women’s Day ladies. ✨ 🌺
Hahaha this. Yup. But also like Shallon said too - When I give up control & watch my bf fail to make a reservation or consider certain things I’m just like?? But if I don’t express disappointment how else will he learn to be better next time? Lol
right now, with insane rents etc, being a trad wife is a wealth flex. Most of these woman are actually from wealthy backgrounds. When researched, some have been exposed to have had a failed career. Usually, to get a man to pay for life you have to be exceptionally pretty so, I get the sense that the sub text of their TikTok videos is 'Í´m prettier than you´. Nobody is saying trad wives are not feminist, they are calling out trad wives for attacking feminism as a 'lie that was sold to women' which is BS.
so refreshing to hear your thoughts Shallon. It blows my mind how women who call themselves feminists bully other women who chose lifestyle that doesnt align with their own. Im a trained clinical psychologist and psychotherapist currently pregnant for 2nd time, on maternity leave and as much as i love my job im enjoying every single moment of being at home and obsessing about cleaning products for a change instead of other peoples problems😂. Leave women alone. Peace and war starts at home (with a happy woman) so dont piss us off with your „feminist” pressure to be everything for everyone. Not all women are built for both family life and career and its ok if juggling both feels like too much for you. Also once I went on a sick leave I realised how easily I can be replaced at my company. Basically nobody called me to check if i was ok and my daughter almost pissed her pants from joy that i was going to stay at home with her. that makes you think.
I’m actually quite fond of the house wife idea! Having a provider husband is plays a significant contribution to the household and lifestyle. Also, a lot of modern housewives have started their own business endeavors for residual income. You are sooo right about the imbalance of power. Men oftentimes do control women with finances.
Well, I've dealt with so many family law cases where a 'trad wife' ends up below the poverty line and on food stamps after being tossed aside and my heart bleeds for them...I just want women to protect their rights and I want to clarify where my experience is from 🙂. But yes, it's a dorky opening, lol 🤣
I only just entered my tradwife/sahm era after working as an engineer for 4 years and I just gotta say I love it. I was so over the endless meetings, OKRs, All-hands, and the corporate jargon. This new role is work, don't get me wrong, but after you fully accept that laundry and dinner are just things that you are going to have to do daily, you start to create a system and excel in it. One surprising upside that I've found is that I don't have to coordinate vacations/time off with my husband's work schedule and my work schedule and ask my boss special permission for this or that. We now can just decide on a trip, my husband just notifies his boss and away we go. Not having to stress over that, where you dread the work that piles up while you're away, is enough to make me love this lifestyle more.
Good luck to you. Just don’t forget to put some money on the side for yourself in case of emergency. If he decides to divorce you, access to his money will be cut, and you will have to solve things with your own means.
You are living the dream girl! Enjoy. I am also a career woman (project/product manager) and am just tired of all the useless meetings, all the snide jabs that female co-workers do to you daily because of god knows what reason. I am too nice for this. Yes I have my own money, am independent, have a nice fiancé etc. but the daily "girl bossing" life is not for me because you need to be hard, you have to push back and be mean to people to get ahead, not something I aspire to do.
@@CHK12319 lol there are thousand ways to make our money disappear, so there is nothing to split. And the moment divorce is announced, everyone is on their own. Trust your partner, but don’t be foolish. Always have your own emergency fund and job.
@katiavoznaya2395 You should definitely talk to your fiance about how you can make the lifestyle you want work after marriage. You have every right to want to embrace your femininity rather than be miserable in a corporate job. The books that really helped guide me on this path is Ask Your Husband by Mrs. Timothy Gordon (you can even find lectures by the author on RUclips) and The Summa Domestica 3-Volume set by Leila Lawler - the third book in particular gives you great practical tips on how to organize your home especially if you would like to have many kids. Best of luck to you!
I'm an electrical engineering major. Even though I want a husband and kids someday, I could never be a trad wife. My mom is a trad wife and she told me no matter how hard it seems to be a career woman, I should keep going. This connects to your video about mom guilt. It's a momentary emotion, like irrational anger. Mom guilt traps you into being self-sacrificial. Honestly, I don't think TRUE alpha men want trad wives. There is a hunger that alpha men have that trad wives don't. So, how could alpha men (who are pack builders) want trad wives? As a trad wife, you are giving and giving to others. There's no reward. No paycheck every week. No A+ on that calculus exam. Being a trad wife is full of delayed gratification. That mindset is different from what alphas want. That's why (I think) they are incompatible. How could a trad wife respect that drive (when they don't have that) and how could alpha's respect trad wives? Women (even women who love being mothers) shouldn't put themselves in that position. Women need something of their own.
Terf! I love it! I'm slow on the uptake with these terms so I hadn't heard this one yet, but clearly I'm with you. I don't always agree with everything you say, Shallon, but I definitely do more times than not. You're very much on my wavelength and it's awesome. I have a hard time finding that in people in general. True feminism is about equality and CHOICES. Whether a woman chooses to be a traditional wife and/or homemaker is cool if that's what she digs. That's a hard ass job so more power to them!
This is so perfectly timed. I basically burnt out working full time in National Security and as a creative small business owner. I met a guy dominant, loving guy, quit my job and in three weeks Ive moved into his home to try out the stay-at-home-GIRLFRIEND vibes. He expects nothing from me except to try, and find ways to be happy as I decompress - and Ive learned to love cooking and finding fun activities for us (he pays for everything!). I know I wont do this forever but OMG it is such a relief to have a break and support from a REAL man. Shout out to Lithuania for making him!
All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
Shallon in honor of the 20th year anniversary of Mean Girls, you should do a series. Looking back now, Janice was THE most mean girl, she was envious, bitter and resentful. You should do a breakdown of the characters! Kind of Mini Spring Break Evil Week lol.
If you got yourself a man who doesn't see you as a maid, by all means -- go for it. But unfortunately, you only find out how much he respects you AFTER you put yourself in that situation.
I have no issue with women who choose to stay at home and look after their families. However, I have issue with influencers who promote the work free, trad wife lifestyle whilst working with big brands and seeking an income to promote their lifestyle. It’s just hypocritical
I’m a live in nanny in Paris and I’ve nannied kids before, picked them up from school, watch them for 3-5 hours sometimes longer if the parents have a date night, and I got paid REALLYY well. Living here though my contract says I “only work” 25 hours a week 5ish hours a day, but it’s been way more. They don’t leave me alone. Especially on weekends. They come up to my room and touch everything they can, make fun of everything I do because kids are stupid, and don’t leave me alone!! It’s driving me insane. I wish I could separate my “place of work” from where I live. And this is also how I’m realizing motherhood is notttt for me. I do have a new sense of appreciation and gratitude for my own mother and everyone who has kids. How in the world…
I felt the same way about kids until my late twenties. They were annoying, filthy creatures.🤣 I promise you'll feel differently about your own children, should you change your mind. 😀
Hello there, hope you're having a good day! If you don't mind my input, sounds like the kids need more support in learning about respect & boundaries. Maybe you can embrace this challenging situation as a massive learning opportunity for you to improve your communication skills instead of taking a defeated stance & blaming them? With warm wishes💕
I've always said being a traditional wife is awesome only if 1) a woman has some type of higher education or higher learning and 2) she has some work experience.3)she's married after age 24-25. I'm a traditional wife. (I'm gen X and can't bring myself to use the word trad-wife) But I'm also 52, I have a master's degree and I worked from the time I was 14 until I was 33. I worked full time for corporate America for 8 years. So there is a world of difference between someone like me vs a woman who is married by 18-20, zero education and work experience, and never earned her own money. I can honestly say I love taking care of my husband and our home more than any job I've ever worked. We are both happier. All the women I know in my situation are pretty damn happy honestly. And our finances improved immensely when I stopped working. My husband went full steam into his career. I focused on the home and budget. I couldn't believe the money wasted when we both worked. The book The Two Income Trap does a great job of showing how two people working full time doens't necessarily put them in a better position financially.
I think you’re delusional if you think that you aren’t in the same position as a woman who married younger and doesn’t have a career prior to being a mother. I became a young mother, have an associates college education and five jobs work experience but an older husband who has had a life before he met me and has a career with two masters degrees and he is more than willing to devote his life to family. In my experience of living many different places and moving across the country twice meeting other moms who used to be doctors or engineers and even school principals (my own mother was a doctor before staying home too!) before becoming stay at home moms they are living the EXACT same lifestyle as I am but they arrived there at a later point in life. Their struggles are the same struggles as mine. We meet at the same places for kid activities, have similar schedules, live in the same place, drive the same cars. If anything they have a more difficult time in their transition from their careers to being a “trad wife” because it turns a turmoil within them psychologically and they were used to a totally different sense of self worth and identify and usually a pace of life/ material and social and personal expectations. But there’s also the reason they chose to stay home and give up their careers.
Keep in mind that lifestyle content creators are intentionally glamorizing their lives to gain your attention. They are literally proping a camera wherever they go. That is not real life. So no matter what route you decide to take in this life, make sure that it is your will and respect other women if their choices are different than yours.
Shallon I’m so Proud of you and just seeing the growth in you and we’ll roundness you you’ve come into about so Many important things…. Well done girl!!! Some Goose whisper!!
Trad wives of this generation are definitely exorbitantly better off, than our mothers. A lot of us have a college education, and still choose to stay home. Once your little ones are older and independent, your degree will never fail you. Heck, schools are constantly hiring retired teachers for example. Also, we have the internet, for recipes , hacks, new appliances, and thanks to feminism more men are aware of doing their share of household responsibilities with children and seeing women as human, and not just “dishwashers” . 💕
I think a lot of us older millennials fell into the "3rd wave feminism" and came to discover - No, you will never be equal to a man, that promotion comes with a lot of sacrifice both professionally and personally, and not always worth the sacrifice. Your words hit me hard when you said "The better I get the lonelier I get". I was taught to want that "JFK Jr." type man, but so did a lot of other girls too. There not enough of those to go around.
I just wanted to add, if you raise a good kid or two, when you’re alone and old, they will be there for you. Can’t say that about a man. Just shining light on this for the single moms out there like myself. You’re doing good work.
My grandmother decided to go to work because she wanted her own money. My mom worked. I was raised to work. The women in my family have always valued the ability to have financial independence because it’s smart to be able to take care of yourself even if you’re married to a man who makes enough money to pay for everything. Just in case. Also, I’d hate not having some sort of job outside motherhood and the home. My mom stayed home with us for a couple of years when we were very little and she says going in to work is far easier than staying home with children. I can’t disagree. 😂
I suppose I'd consider myself a Trad Wife. I do have employment (I work about 15 hrs a week, so I mean...) but honestly I work only for the social aspect. I work in a popular lingerie store and it's all women, so that's were I go to get my girl-time. At home, it's taking care of my husband and my teenage son (which can feel like a full-time job) so sometimes I feel like the odd one out, but I absolutely love it. I don't worry about bills or getting my car fixed (hubby is a very handy man lol) and I just focus on making them happy, taking my son to guitar practice, pretending to be fascinated with their video games and fart jokes. But it makes them happy, which in turn, makes me happy. Plus, I looove to cook and clean (no, really, I do. Stop rolling your eyes 🤣). I wouldn't change it for anything ❤️
I'm a normal stay-at-home mom. Most of my friends are also normal stay-at-home moms and we take care of our kids. My husband is a wonderful man who respects me and what I do. He doesn't question what I buy, he tells me I'm beautiful, encourages me to go out with friends, etc. We are a team. We both work during the day in different ways to care for our family, and in the evenings we work together. Life can be mundane at times but life is GOOD. Its fulfilling. I appreciate the slowness. Reading to my kids, watching a show with my husband, playing a board game as a family. Its the little things I just treasure. This is the life I love.
Shallon this is such a good take. Tradwives make me so nervous my dad never supported my mom after their divorce and she and I really suffered for it. I watch real housewives and several of the women are going through a divorce and have nowhere to live like one woman, Lisa from Miami I highly suggest you look into her divorce. This man kicked her and her kids out of their $40 million home she is forced to date another rich guy just to buy her an apartment so she has somewhere to live! Same with a girl that married a man three times her age, on the real housewives of Potomac, she doesn’t even have a house in her name anymore. Same with Erika Jayne from Beverly Hills.
I only considered being a Tradwife after the pandemic because I was working 52-56 hours a week, making 6 figures and feeling unhappy. After a major car accident, I realized that time spent with family was more important than being in the office. I changed my whole life and moved out of the city and earn less money now. I let my husband take care of things. I used to have physical health problems like skin, heart, and acid reflux due to the amount of stress I was previously under. I am happy that I adopted this new mindset because it makes me feel stress free. After almost a year, the stress has finally dissipated. Now I am able to finally get pregnant because my body feel stable and regulated. This is a very interesting topic and I would love to deep dive into the history of it. ☺
I was listening to your manifestation vid you did during quarantine for the upteenth time today because I needed a fix and then you post! Thank you for chiming in on this topic. Do you think you would be interested in doing a vid on Elizabeth Hurley and her son? Maybe how to deal with a guy who has sloppy boundaries with their mom or has an Oedipus complex?
I used to think I was trans and I completely agree with you. Since I was born I always I thought I wanted to be a girl. I loved skirts, make up, dolls etc… Because of the medias influence I thought wanting to have nails, makeup, long hair etc… meant that I want to be a woman. Social Media made that wish even more significant. Even tho there was this acceptance of boys being able to be feminine, there was still people, especially from the lgbt community, being like: wait you like girly stuff? That means you are trans or non binary or sh*t like that. If you ask a trans person or a non binary person: hey why are you trans or non binary their answer always was like: well I can’t identify with the male society role and manly attributes. I identify with the female „Role". So I was like, damn that’s me. I didnt like the manly stuff and the role that comes with it and I love girly stuff so that must mean I’m also trans. ( I’m now convinced that this even was because of trauma I went through as a child) At age 15 I went to see a psychiatrist and endocrinologist and I was 1 meeting away from actually getting hormones. Thank god something stopped from going to that meeting. I am now a 22 year old proud man. Im gay and I sometimes express myself in a feminine manner but that doesn’t make me a woman. Since hitting puberty and getting some testosterone into my system, I now even love some typical “man” stuff like sports and football. I now kind of even despise make up and stuff other feminin stuff. It was tough figuring everything out and finding my peace with being a man. I don’t identify with the lgbt community because of the kind of damage and confusion they brought up in me as a child. Me accepting and loving myself and my feminine side as a man was the way to healing my inner demons. I wish I could stop the trans community from transitioning children that are just trying to figure them selves out. It shouldn’t be legal until you are, like you said, 25. And don’t ever let them take your womanhood away. I love and accept trans people, I kind of went through their struggles, but being a trans woman doesn’t give you the right to speak for women. Trans woman will never be able to understand the energy and femininity that comes with being a woman. But that’s ok. That doesn’t make you something less, it just means you’re not what other women are. It’s so evil that biological man are now even trying to take away womanhood. It’s like ripping women apart with something new every century. To all cis ( I hate using that word) women I love and appreciate you.
I am a blend of trad. wife and working women. I work from home and make my own money but since I am the one who is not commuting to work everyday I do the cooking and general house up-keep. It's the perfect balance for me and I love it! ❤
@@dreamchaser7603 Wait explain to me how "balanced" means one person is paying for everything when both work? To be clear, we have no kids and I make about 20% more than him. We have a joint account and our own personal accounts as well. He is a very skilled mechanic and handy man so he definitely pulls his weight in all aspects of our life. I am not reliant on him and he is not reliant on me. The downside of being a trad. wife is that you are reliant on your husband 100%, that's just not me. And this is the lifestyle that works for us... married 7 years and both very happy!
It is all about balance for me. It baffles me when I see couples not discussing the division of labor and what one expects from the other person. I see couples were both work but the woman is expected to take on all household planning and chores too. And then there is frustration, anger, without ever communicating. When I got in my current relationship, we had all those conversations from the get go. The first talk was about exclusivity. He approached that matter and told me after a couple of dates (were at the time I was open and honest that I saw other people too) that he really enjoys being with me and to continue fourther he would like us to be in a monogamous committed relationship. So we decided to do that. Then, when it came to finances and living together, we were both earning pretty much the same and both had our own house. So we decided that each is responsible for the big expenses of their house seperately like house maintenance, bills, furniture ( we both use both houses) and we would share the other expenses like food, vacations, activities, going out equally, using an app to keep track, alternating who is paying what. Household chores are divided according to who is better at doing it or enjoying it more. I do the cooking, the bathroom, he vacuums and mops, I do the laundry, he puts the laundry away, I clean the windows, he takes out the trash. I am responsible for feeding and taking the dog out for a walk from morning till noon, he has those responsibilities evening and night. We discussed the scenario were if we decided to have a child, for as long as I would need or want to stay at home I would take care of all household chores and raising the child, he would pay all bills and the remaining money would be split equally. Also we push each other to advance in our careers and earn more. He got 2 promotions, I expanded my apartments for rent business. We have this silly thing were we "schedule" a meeting where we demand complete and undivided attention for one another and discuss anything needed. We check regularly if our needs and wants are met, discuss future goals and plans etc. An it works like a charm.
Thank you Shallon!! For standing up for women unapologetically and bravely. We all know what they did to JKR when she stood up for woman. Men are not women and thats that
*YOU'RE TOTALLY GOLDEN SHALLON!!!* *L. 100-9 which designated the month of March 1987 as “Women's History Month.” Between 1988 and 1994, Congress passed additional resolutions requesting and authorizing the President to proclaim March of each year as WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH.* 💃
@@shallonlester *most welcome!!! #1. Biden did remember (lol) to designate this month as WHM on 2.29. #2. i've been a TradWife for the last few years & i would pick this hands down over commuting on the NYC subway during rush hour...not to mention the shoot outs happening lately. i'm both a TradWife AND a Shalligator. love & respect your take.* 🤗🐊💛🏡🛒
To be honest, I'm just 20 years old and single so this probably doesn't apply to me, but this whole tradwife trend just seems kinda dangerous to me. Obviously, every woman has the right to do what she pleases in her life, but just the idea of handing over all this power to a MAN and serve him for the rest of my life seems very bad. Like, what if he ends up being abusive? What if he doesn't allow me to take any money for things that I may want but he doesn't approve of? What if he doesn't leave me any time to do my hobbies or hang out with my friends or educate myself? I know that these are bad scenarios, but really how many men do you know that understand the concepts of emotional labor and sound boundaries? It's a big no for me and I genuinely hope that these new tradwives who jumped on the bangwagon during and/or after the pandemic don't end up regretting it.
I fulfilled most of my dreams: traveling, living in different continents, getting a degree. I married late in life and had child at 40. I decided to stay home and raise my child. I married a responsible, educated, loving man that had no problem with me staying home. We then lived in Europe. I learned another language. I studied part-time Fashion Design. I make a lot of big decisions. Now twelve years later, I am starting my own business with the skills I have. I never stopped learning or reading.. economy, art, stocks, design. But you have to dedicate yourself the first few years bringing up a great child with love. And you need to keep the spark alive too.. be feminine. I’m Latina so it is not so uncommon.
That's all valid And you need to remember that your kids will grow up and won't need you to be there that intensively or even cook for them. I wasn't trad wife exactly I stayed at home bc cost of child care would be my monthly income but I start to going back to education and work force as soon as my youngest child went to school. Don't let yourself be left behind ladies
Shallon I’m the eldest in my family with a not so supportive mother so I always wished I had a wiser sister I’m forever grateful for finding your channel especially that I’m OBSESSED with psychology I’m still learning about the world and myself and haven’t figured out so many stuff yet but THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️love from Kuwait
I have three adult children two boys 28,27 and a 21 year old daughter. I raised them alone all have the same father ( I only mention that because my kids only saw one man fail them and myself ) , mostly them. I raised them all with the same mindset as long as what you are doing makes you happy and feel empowered and in control of your own destiny. What you are doing hurts no one ( on purpose ) you can’t control other people’s attachments or emotions just don’t hurt on purpose then you are doing what your supposed to and I am proud of you. I raised them as a single mother worked my butt off. My oldest is 28 wants to be a traditional husband. He said he loves me so much and he will love his wife too and he never wants someone to feel so stressed when they are trying to do the most important job in the world be a mother. He wants her to be able to be relaxed and enjoy her life because her being happy is important for the children to be happy. Also, him being happy is important to his children being happy. He wants to be able to come home and play catch and do all these things with his kids. He has wanted to be a dad since he was three talked about it all the time. My middle son wants to live in the forest away from everyone and he grows his own food and he doesn’t want to be with anyone at all. My daughter would love to be a traditional wife. She is saving herself her marriage as is my older son. I was a teen mom I was nearly 18 but I was still a teen. I am not a Christian but I raised my kids and I taught him everything about the Bible , because I believe you have to make an educated decision in everything including religion. So my oldest is a Christian my middle son is a Buddhist my daughter doesn’t really know yet and she doesn’t have to. I can see from my oldest son and my daughter why they want a traditional life. I am proud of both of them. I am proud of my middle son for choosing to be unattached. I truly think people try to get involved in other peoples choices. Just be happy , love your life and don’t hurt anyone on purpose. Who are these traditional families hurting ? No one.
All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
I'm a trad wife since Covid and I'm so freaking bored, it's unbelievable. That's why I want to go back to work. Nobody talks about how annoying it is to be financially dependent on someone. It can be very isolating because at work I always had someone to talk to. My mom was one as well for a decade and went back to work eventually because she missed the feeling of earning her own money and having a purpose in life. I think it can be rewarding for some women but not for the independent kind of girl who gets a kick out of making her own money. And all these online trad wifes are essentially content creators who probably outearn their husbands by now. These days a lot of trad wifes stay at home all day and we're not supposed to live like that, isolated from others. I think at heart we are all tribal people and that's why some prefer to go to work I guess, just to be surrounded by people and to have their own thing going on.
Not sure why this is considered a “trend”. Every woman that came before me in my family was SAHM. I love being home with my babies and never for a second miss going to work.
as trad wives, to be independent, you need to still have some control over the money he makes. for example, joint accounts, joint houses/poperties, having your own account where he deposits a monthly allowance, having your own retirement account where he deposits your allowance. also need to be educated and know about life insurance, etc. it's your fault as a trad wife if you completely are ignorant about the household finances. if a trad wife gets a monthly allowance, invests in her own retirement account, is co owner of any or at least some property, she will be ok even if he makes bad financial decisions or divorces her because she will have her own money and be co owner of property that she doesn't have to fight over in court or can't access easily.
Housewife life was not easy whatsoever. They romanticize being traditional but our grandmothers popped valium and day drinked due to the pressure of being perfect and alone all day just to take care of the home for her family. Found drugs at the house of my perfect little grandmother after she passed. No one would EVER have suspected. She was a true conservative and tradwife in every way. But she was terrible lonely except for the times SHE arranged dinners for mutual friends. After she passed grandpa's social life fell apart TOTALLY. He was nothing without her. His whole life was weighing on HER shoulders.
17:35 facts. I feel that sigh deep in my soul atleast 5 times a day. Started working at 17, got a useful degree, helped start 2 successfully family businesses from it & man am I excited to just be a wife one day. Knowing I can choose a man who would be happy with me still working part time in the family business hopefully creating another one together some day with a kid running around. Like you said, us being able to choose how our lives will look like is all thanks to the original idea of feminism.
All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
My mom would be considered a trad wife. When I was 3 or 4 she decided ( pressured) to work. I hated it! I wanted to be home with her. After realizing she didn't make enough working, she became a stay at home mom. She got hell but she worked, hard! Raising me, my brother taking care of my dad and our pets along with the house. It's hard I work full time and I struggle keeping up with my house. I agree with you let people do what is best for them.
If you are independently wealthy, trad away! I can’t support it otherwise. It’s a bad deal for the woman. The financial support you get is not fair compensation for what you provide: 24/7 childcare, domestic work, sex, emotional support, etc.
The trad wife path is my personal nightmare. Doing repetitive low-IQ tasks all day (cleaning, babysitting) would have me clawing at walls. In the professional world, all the downsides acknowledged, the big advantage is - your intellect is made use of, your skills are constantly pushed to grow, your brain does actual work. Oh, and then your husband leaves you for a younger chick once you’ve raised his kids. I’m sorry, is that a joke?
Semi trad here of 10 years 😂 I dont wear special outfits to clean, but I do make a conscious effort to always look good for him and try to be tidy most days. I used to work full-time, now I work part time- all my money goes into my savings- he pays for anything under the sun I might want. I don't stay home all the time, but now that I'm part-time, I actually have days for trips with my bff, or sister, or Mom and Dad or doing nothing, I literally want for nothing!🤗 It's amazing!! All I had to do was not go out every weekend, and not post thirst-traps on social media and act desperate for other's attention, oh and stop trying to control everything and trust his decision making (THAT WAS HARD) 🤷🏼♀️😅 we go to the gym together at night instead of going 'out'👌🏼 He still opens the car door for me, carries my bag if needed, brings me to my appointments.. It's a dream come true for me because I absolutely adore him- but if you don't really like your man, I can imagine this being quite difficult!
I was just like you. Not going out every weekend (with the knowledge I have now I wish I did), not being "thristy" for other men, not posting much on social media. And what has this got me? Nothing. All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
My dad said that if my husband wants me to do all the house work (the trad wife thing) so that he has the time to concentrate on his career and make the money, then I should get part of his income as my own "salary" and that has to be a real amount not pocket money. On top of the fact that he will provide and pay for our life expenses. And if the money he makes is not enough to do that, then he cannot afford a "trad wife".
35:07 At one of my lowest points in college, I thought about saying screw it I’ll just be a housewife who occasionally writes til I make a book of art photography in 20 years. But my mother told me “you have to work before you get married so if you ever have to, you know you can work and take care of yourself.” I don’t know if that’s exact quote but that’s the gist of it. That said 7 years later, I’m about to graduate with a Master of Science. Still single but I know a degree won’t walk out on me in the middle of the night saying “I don’t love you anymore”
I'm a mix of both. My husband let me quit my job managing medical centres to pursue my writing so I'd be home to help care for his daughter when she came to visit. Over the years I've taken on part time jobs when we were struggling (we live in an expensive Queensland town and have 4 kids all up and his baby mama tried to take us to the cleaners in addition to messing up his taxes when they were together) but I haven't worked a full time job ever really. But I do 'work.' I'm a novelist with 33 titles and I am a professional actress/singer/dancer on weekends in a dinner theatre because my long term goal is to write an original musical. Also I just happen to be good at it, I've always loved performing so it's my hobby that became a side hustle. I give 150% to every endeavour. When I'm in a big show that becomes my priority, same with when I've got momentum going on a book and hubby supports that 100%. But every spare second I have is dedicated to raising my kids, keeping our house perfect, cooking beautiful meals, working out, dressing myself up, personal training him and my second eldest daughter and helping our 19 year old (my stepdaughter) pursue her beauty pageant dreams. I get up, get kids to school then go to work out. I get home scrub house arrange lunches for next day and dinner that night then either write or rehearse or both until school finishes. Then I run them to their extracurriculars, work out with him, serve dinner, spend some time with him then tuck everyone in and go write or rehearse again. It's exhausting and it blows peoples minds how I get it all done (my 4 kids are kind of amazing and dominate at a lot of what they do too) but I love being busy and I am so proud that I turned my wild childhood dreams into an income. And I have to laugh when I tell people I'm the PTA (p and C here down under) vice president on Thursday and usually in a corset and chorus heels Friday and Saturday! It's all worth it. Hubby and I are still crazy about us 16 years later and our family is awesome and happy. I am SO grateful to him and I love being a stay at home mum, but my novels are all fantasy about women taking on misogyny and my husband would never dream of rubbing the money he makes in my face because he knows I'd probably be able to beat him up :)
I personally think being a tradwife would probably be best if you have a college degree or skill set to fall back on if the marriage fails. It’s sad to think of women that have devoted their lives to a husband and children getting divorced through no fault of their own, getting screwed financially in the divorce and having to scrape by while the ex husband is living his best life, spending his money on a new woman. Happens all the time. Do what makes you happy but maybe get a prenup that guarantees that you’ll be taken care of should things not work out.Have those discussions and get it on paper before devoting your whole life to family and home…Peace and love to ALL wives out there 🙏🏻
Honestly, Shallon. I’m sitting in my studio literally clapping with applause at your views on why you are a proud Terf! You’re so right and you articulated your sentiments perfectly. Big salute ❤️ Also ladies, my mother always said to me NEVER be financially reliant on a man. My dad divorced her after 40 years of marriage! Yes, 40! She was cheated on with a younger model and left at 57. She married him in the late 1960s, a week before her 18th birthday because she was pregnant. She’s 74 now and has basically never recovered. She never imagined that anybody would divorce her after that amount of time. I’m 35 and the oldest of her second batch of children with the same father. 20 years between my eldest sister and I. Times have changed and nobody gets married just because they are pregnant. However, you never know when you could get caught out. It’s important to have a degree of independence.
Trad wife since 1998
FULL-TIME (understatement)
Career rewarded by delayed gratification
Investing everything in a legacy
Grace in monotony is the invisible strength of true trad wife
Biggest gamble with your life either for good or bad
No overt control but absolute soft, quiet, deep power that only a woman is capable of-the kind of power that never needs to take credit while patiently keeping her thumb on the scale without anyone’s noticing
The hand that rocks the cradle RULES THE WORLD😎
Grace in monotony needs to be a motto in my life. If we can embrace the monotonous times with poise and elegance, we have mastered life itself 🙌🏻
@@shallonlester I love you so much, girl!
I appreciate everything you are and all that you offer!💖
as long you have retirement fund and financial independence, you will be fine. But if your financial situation depends of your husband liking you...
@@ovexo285 yes, like I said, it’s a gamble with your life
I have been a stay at home mom and wife since 1999. I was 19. We have 3 kids. 24. 23 and 21. Two are married and youngest lives with his gf. So we are empty nesters. I manage all of the finances. My husband makes the money and his paycheck always goes in to my account. We both decided this from the first day we got married. I'll stay home but only if I get to manage the $.
My issue with tradwife influencers is that they are selling and promoting a lifestyle that they’re not actually living. They are entrepreneurs and have financial freedom.
@kathrynbrunhaver Yes!!!!! I saw a comment mention this point yesterday….& it’s true!
True! ...they are always selling a course. A trad sales funnel usually ends up in your inbox after watching the video. 😄
This is exactly it. Many of the women actually living this lifestyle are out of luck should their relationships sour. Letting the man develop the professional portfolio while they stay home doesn't enable them to build a strong life for themselves if the guy leaves or decides to mistreat them.
Exactly
Bingo. They're fully employed
My only issue with the trad wife movement, is they try to glamorize what “pre feminism time” was like. Bubble baths, face masks, floral dresses, baking pie, a glass of wine at the end of the day with a loving man. That wasn’t the case for most women, that’s why they started the feminism movement to begin with. If you find a good man, do what you want. The safety net though, allowing women the autonomy, to chose their life, can never go away. It’s needed.
Yeah a lot of women of my grandma’s time (farm wives) dealt with alcoholic losers who beat them and had sex with the farm animals. No options to get away from that. Count me OUT.
The trad wife movement right now gives “modest only fans” vibes to me.
These beautiful, innocent faces bending over their cameras wearing peasant floral dresses with cinched aprons 😏
Thirst trap 🪤 for red pill bros
Very well said
But in reality they arent. This is neo-traditionalism. It ISNT 1950 and we know that women have financial independence. We know they influencers get paid and we know they are the profiting off their business. Maybe we should take it as we see it and stop pretending that they are pretending to glamorize a bygone era.
How can people be so stupid and believe everything they hear and know nothing about history😂 pre feminism was more about we married because we had sex/ want to have sex/ woman needed somewhere to live. Then lifetime of cooking, cleaning, having bad sex and pushing out children. Yeay
3:32 "You can NOT purchase womanhood" 👏👏👏
Thank you Shallon for NEVER backing down on this topic.
Never have never will. It’s fucked up that women can’t stand up for women or they risk a ton of fallout. But not me. So I’ll shout for all of us who can’t 👊🏻
Repeat after me: ALWAYS. HAVE. YOUR. OWN. MONEY. Husbands die, husbands leave you for younger women. You have to be independent to survive.
Yep and your bank account won’t ever wake up one day and decide they’re leaving you
@@Lauren_22613Yahtzee 💯
YUP!
Idk where you live but in my state, wives get half of their ex husbands assets
@@CHK12319yes, but there are many ways to hide them. For example, to quietly sell them and move the money out of the country. Don’t be a fool.
Im a muslim hijabi girl from tunisia who refused to be a trad wife , i have m'y own business im childfree and happy with m'y choices and i was following shallon since 2018 , you are my idiol you changed m'y life and you helped me embrasse m'y alpha female diva soooo Grateful for you merci beaucoup ma puce
Thank you sweet baby!! You are OUR inspiration! Nothing lights me up like a girl carving her own path and living authentically!
I‘m so proud of you ❤
Marriage or no?
Are you free not wearing hijab?
@@Eevanova my aunt and my two older sisters are not wearing hijab and also most of m'y Friends Tunisia IS a secular country and i choose to Wear hijab m'y parents Never interfeer in my choices and one day if i want to Take it i will do it.Tunisia IS diffrent than all other arabic countries
Divorce lawyer here 🙋🏻♀️never ever ever give up ur financial power away to another person… it’s a recipe for disaster! At the end of the day, the person who gives you money is the person who will have 100% control over you and will ruin ur life. Myabe not now but eventually. The only time a trad wife relationship would work is of you come from money and have access to resources that you could tap into if shit hits the fan. If u are an average woman without money, don’t do this to urself
I'm an attorney, and legally...if someone is a 'trad wife' your husband is essentially your boss. Only they pay you in room and board, not wages. And you don't get time off, you're a trad wife on duty 24/7. And your value as an employee goes down over time, not up. And your 'coworkers' are needy children who actively create more work for you, not less, so basically the coworkers from hell. And when your children are not around, you're just...entirely alone, at home, doing domestic labor. It's easy to think the grass is always greener, but your boss husband can just wake up one day and want to leave you, and if you're a trad wife.....you're screwed. You can be fired without cause from this unpaid job. It's not the princess fantasy the internet sells it as. There's a reason feminists fought so hard for access to the workforce, the only thing that will set women free is MONEY IN THEIR OWN NAME.
Also, tradwives/SAHMs can’t get away from their “bosses” and “coworkers”.
As a career trad wife of 26 years, I would like to add to your comment:
The whole goal of a trad wife/SAHM is to make herself obsolete, unnecessary, and a good memory.
The scaffolding she provides is taken as “part of the furniture”.
“Coworkers”-hardly!
Customers of the most undomesticated ilk, more like!
She plays fast and loose with her financial security, but if her life goes a certain way, she stands to inherit everything from her boss.
Her positive impact remains unnoticed until her “customers” become their own “bosses”.
Only then is her true value seen and assessed to be the embodiment of the word “invaluable”.
Ugh! No thank you!
What is split in the US for people that have children… Australians gets 75% if they have custody of the kids
Thank you for sharing your valuable insight and reminding me that women had to fight for access to the workforce. I've been taking that access for granted
From a wider socio-cultural perspective, the Trad Wife movement seems like an overcorrection from the 2010's Girlboss era, we go from one extreme to the next.
Social media completely romanticises being a tradwife. My mom was a stay at home mother and it is not frolicking in a field picking lemons from your lemon tree, or baking cookies in a floral dress. You not only have to take care of children 24/7, and I love kids but they are fucking difficult 😂, but you also maintain the home, cleaning dishes, washing, cooking, the list is endless. It is a physically and emotionally draining job, and it can also be incredibly lonely because you have no life of your own when you’re running around looking after kids all day, and receiving no practical help from your man.
Dude, being a stay at home mom sounds like the hardest thing ever. Just relentless. Props to anyone who can do it, but yeah, zero part of me thinks it’s a frolic based existence!
I actually have so much respect for stay at home mothers because I’ve seen how difficult it can be, but it’s annoying to see on social media because it’s a lie. Unless you’ve married a rich man, who can facilitate that lifestyle, you’re not making butter in the kitchen all day, you’re busting your ass everyday.
Most women have to do all that as well as work… or pay someone to do half of it anyway. In Australian divorce whether you work or not the person who has custody of the kids normally gets 75% of the assets
100% correct on the lanes, couldn’t agree more
🙋🏼♀️Okay, I’m a stay at home mom to a 2 year old and 7 month old, and yeah, relentless is the perfect word. It’s very hard. And yet I must say, I love the romanticized image of it on social media. It may not be 100% realistic, but it gives great ideas of things you might want to lean into or optimize as a stay at home mom. If instead of comparing yourself, you can adjust your mindset to “good for her. I want to try xyz idea” that’s great. I think a lot of people could benefit from more of a “good for her” mindset.
I have seen one ex Tradwife saying something like “My ability to feed myself and my children was dependent on how attractive I was to that man.”
Scary
Woah.
Omg that is sick and terrifying 😢😞
You have to remember she’s the one who chose that man. This trad wife thing is going through the same thing marriage has, people doing it wrong then finding another thing to blame other than their own choices.
Damn do men not care about their kids regardless?!
maybe he shouldn't have leave his wife? why does the blame always go on women. people change and LIE all the time to get what they want @@FaithAnswered
Thank you for speaking up!!! I’m so sick of BIOLOGICAL MEN TELLING WOMEN HOW to be women. We demand respect & our own spaces for US. We are women. We matter. Our spaces matter. It’s ridiculous that this is even a debate.
Yeah it's a false analogy that men created in their heads to make themselves look good if millions of women were being treated great then 80-90 percent of these women wouldn't be initiating divorces in some countries there still treated like inferiors too for wanting basic opportunities society has coddled men and lied to women nobody is being treated great it's a delusion that men created to keep the peace and actions speak louder then words. I much rather hear from these millions of women that are being treated great not there husband because men don't get to decide how women feel about men.
If anything it's millions of men being treated great and millions of pick mes coddling these men and that's how they turn evil. Being kind to women is the bare minimum it doesn't mean they actually care about women.
Look up planet fitness
tell me why trans men are never competing with real men. they live their lives quietly.
yet these tran women are sooo loud and constantly competing
Better gtf over it. Bigotry is dead.
Being a trad wife is different than being a stay at home mom. The influencers calling themselves trad wives are making a political statement that women should submit to their husbands, stay in the home, and adhere to "traditional values". There are many stay at home moms who aren't "trad wives" and that's a fine choice, but when you add in that women should submit, etc, it makes sense why other women are rubbed the wrong way
this !!!
But Shallon, I feel like you missed a large component of this argument and that is comparing a trad wife to a woman in today’s society WITH kids. Yes it’s more defined work hours and benefits/monetary gain in a traditional job, but you completely overlooked the fact that being a working mom is a SCAM. And I think that’s what people are fed up with. A lot of dads and husbands barely cook, clean, or help with the kids morning/night routine so it mostly falls on the mother who just wrapped up her 9-5 work day. It’s essentially having two/three jobs. The stress of balancing both leads women to an early grave and certainly ages/packs the pounds which also doesn’t help with desirability/market value if the husband leaves. Honestly it’s so exhausting either way.
Working moms are fully being scammed- they literally have the worst of both worlds. Men are LAPPING THIS UP. It’s horrific.
When guys have given me grief for not wanting kids I point out that absolutely nothing gets to come off my plate if I’m a mom. Things are only added to an already insane schedule.
And I’m sure to point out that that’s because THEY are not rich. “I would have to keep working because you don’t earn enough to provide for me and a baby, as a man should.”💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 That shuts them up REAL QUICK.
yes Paloma put out on a song about this called too much labour , it's amazing !
@@shallonlester YES as you should! I just don’t see a clear path forward when it comes to being a woman in todays world who potentially wants children. It feels so bleak and a lose lose situation 😢
Excellent point
But the solution to that is not women giving up their autonomous by becoming tradwives. The solution SHOULD be men finally STEPPING UP. It’s such a shame what women are subjected to by the very people who are supposed to protect and love us.
I got *chills* and I mean CHILLS when you said “You cannot purchase womanhood.” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I need that to go viral.
chills = you heard the ring of truth and your spirit guides are telling you to pay attention
You are gorgeous! I love pale skin with brown eyes ❤
This feels like a safe space for women 😊 thank you shallon
It always will be!!
Not for selena gomez though...
@@shallonlester and that’s what makes you amazing. You stand up for all the women all over the world.
@@jarkachalmovianska7812 I mean🤷♀️ “you do stupid things, you win stupid prizes” are women so righteous that they are above judgement and criticism?
Take for instance her videos of Kim Kardashian. They cover everything from criticizing her flaws to appreciating her strengths.
So if and when the Whisper Goose decides to display her redeeming qualities, I’m sure Shallon will make a video that we can all sit down, discuss and learn from them.
PS: it’s not just Selena, Megan Markle isn’t welcome here either so do with that information what you may. 🫡
The only cases where I saw this “trad wife” thing work for the woman is when she has generational wealth. Unless you have money / inheritance from your parents (NoT your husband!) , it’s probably not a good idea!
It’s antiquated people don’t really commit in marriage like they used to so it’s not advisable in most cases
That’s not true. Who are you to speak for all women? One of my best friend’s is a stay at home mom and “trad wife” and she’s very fulfilled and happy.
@@candicebible7225until her husband decides she isn't
@@candicebible7225 wait until she ages(like a normal person) or the husband finds a younger woman. 😂 dont get fooled by men pls...
@candicebible7225 They're realistic and your friend is gambling with her life. Cry about it all you want.
They are saying "Trad wife" but also saying influencers, so they are actually earning via social media. They are not authentic real trad wife. They are putting a mask for social media and found a way to earn.
It is not a mask if they literally don't hide social media is their job!!!
Good point!
Just the idea of relying on a man for your livelihood is absolutely terrifying!!! As Shallon has said many times, financial independence is the only independence!! I am a single woman with a nice car and house that I own, have a great career, and most importantly, I don’t rely on someone’s dusty ass son for anything! 🗣️🙌🏼
Yes! Totally agree and yay for your accomplishment sans a dusty ✨✨
@@pri.sci.lla.haha thanks girl!!
I assume your boss is a man? We’re all depending on someone else for our livelihood.
I think I figured out why the trad wife social media content feels so off. Traditional femininity is about humility, focusing on your home, your family, and a quiet resilience/inner peace. Posting your life all over social media is antithetical to that.
Trad wives on social media vibes like modest only fans.
They make sure that their cleavage is always in the frame whilst making doe eyes at the camera.
Thirst trap for red pill bros 🪤
Also, they make quite a lot of money off of social media, so they aren't really trad wives in that sense. Most likely the know they will get clicks if the exaggerate and provoke.
@@milak1691 good point
Exactly. The whole trad wife concept is nothing new and these influencers are just using it as a way to make money. It’s like cosplay. My grandma who raised 5 kids in the 60s wouldn’t have had the time to film herself doing household chores all while wearing the perfect outfit/makeup and perfectly decorated home. Give me a break.
I never understood this kind of criticism. People are social creatures and social media makes that more efficient
I also find it interesting that this movement comes at a time where ppl can no longer can live off one income
That’s crossed my mind also, are people just living in extremely cheap markets? A lot of these tad wives are homesteading, I don’t know if that’s cheaper or more expensive?
@@shallonlesterI had a guy tell me he’s “adequately” providing for a whole family on 40k. Like ok Pa Ingalls. 🙄
As a 74 year-old woman, I am screaming thank you!!
Love you Sharon!!!
Ladies…a career in technology can get you the life of a stay at home mom and the salary of a man. Go to a coding bootcamp for a few months and change your life. I don’t even have a degree in computer science. You also don’t need to code to have a tech career.
I’m a 6 figure mom with a hybrid job. Baby only goes to daycare 2 times a week and she loves it.
I get all the autonomy of stay at home mom life 5 days a week…but I’m making my money.
I listen in on meetings while maintaining my home. I pack a whole week of work into the 2 days I’m in office, and I never work past 4pm.
And I’m not a burden to my husband.
When he wanted to make a career shift last year, we comfortably lived while he followed his dreams for 6 months. He’s in a much better position now and HAPPIER.
I’m sorry but why can’t we consider their mental health and wellbeing too?
Supporting my home for those 6 months was not easy and it was only temporary.
I cannot IMAGINE being a man and having that pressure ALL THE TIME.
what type of coding do you do? I have been really considering a career change
@@biancapearson8841 I did software engineering bootcamp through Coding Temple and I’m an alumni career coach there on the side.
I learned Python and SQL…but as I said above, I actually don’t code at all at my job. Remember there are LOTS of tech roles that don’t require coding. Keep it in mind because bootcamp is not cheap!
Do you work in data analytics or UX? I've been wanting to try and get into the field...
@@iamtheboneofmysword607 It's so hard to get into UX now. And once you do there are layoffs and you're unemployed for like 6-9mos. I wonder if it's worth it to try
THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING UP FOR WOMEN!! I’m so tired of biological MEN once again, rebranding womanhood & telling us what it means to be a woman & what we are allowed to be offended by…in our…own…spaces.
❤👏🏼
I'd rather listen to older moms who have been trad wives than the current ones glamorizing it. How many women in their 50s+ recommend it? Making your husband and children your whole life is how you lose yourself. Divorce happens. Entering the job market, years later with no experience is a nightmare. If your dream is to get married and have children, that’s fine. Maybe finding a better work situation would be better. (Work fewer hours, figure out your passion, work from home). Completely cutting yourself out of the job market isn't smart. People should remember that "TRAD WIVES" ONLINE ARE CONTENT CREATORS. They get on podcasts, get sponsors, make ad revenue, etc. They have something to put on their resume. Regular trad wives who stayed out of the workforce don't.
Exactly... what if one day you wake up and decide you don't love your husband anymore? What if it's the other way around? The only time I have seen women happy in long-term marriages is when they are equal. Tradwifes often suffer financial abuse and have to work 5x to get independent once they decide to leave their husbands, or the husbands decide to disregard them and their children for a younger woman
@@brooklynsbaby4367 Yes. Shallon said this perfectly. The imbalance creates a parent-child dynamic. But children grow up and their youth is an excuse for their inexperience. What excuse do trad wives have if they have to re-enter the workforce with a huge gap in their resume? You're an adult and you're making yourself weaker by putting yourself in that position. Men are going to look at you as inferior because you don't have anything of your own.
@@natashamoriarty8629 Stimulation and curiosity are so important to the human mind. We are a curious species. In your example, it's not even about money, it's the mental aspect of it. People misattribute these characteristics as manly when it's really both men and women. It's part of human nature. As a human being, if you feel like you're not being challenged, you'll start losing your mind.
@@natashamoriarty8629 Yes! This is why I don't agree with people making this a gender difference. It goes back to us being in the animal kingdom. Contributing to our community, being challenged, and getting recognition. Looking for new land or trying to understand the universe. Now, we have jobs with paychecks. The personal goals you set for yourself are what shape your identity. This has helped us survive and thrive. These things were taken when women became trad wives (for most of human history, women weren't trad wives). Now that women fought back for those freedoms, we have a choice. I think the biggest thing we have to do is reframe fatherhood for men because a strong man wouldn't diminish his wife's personal identity outside of motherhood. Thank you for replying!!
@@natashamoriarty8629 Yes! For most of human history, we weren't trad wives. Both men and women hunted and gathered. We took care of our tribe. We also created things out of necessity and pondered about the universe. Curiosity is actually what helps us grow knowledge. Trad wives don't have that. The social part of being a worker and the monetary part is important to building your identity as an individual. The money is a "you're getting somewhere" signal. That's why how rich you are doesn't matter in a self-esteem sense because working in this career is stimulating your brain. That is so important to our make-up as human beings. Before women were pushed out of work (or it was for poor women & stigmatized).
Misogyny has a lot to do with this. When men become fathers they don't do their fair share of the parenting. They don't value women's time because they don't see their wives as their own individuals with their own goals. Working mothers and working fathers don't do the same AT ALL. This is why I'm so against being a trad wife. You NEED something of your own. You'll drive yourself insane if you don't get it.
Thank you for replying!
“Her power is bestowed upon her. Real power is money you make and YOU control.”
I have CHILLS Shallon - I’ve been trying to figure out why the idea of marriage is so stressful for me, and it’s because of this. I want my own power. This is truly so helpful!
You remember that psychology experiment on social hierarchy? The one where they made some people prisoners and others guards? They had to end the experiment early because the guards started to treat the prisoners so terribly. When I stayed home with my son after some years or working, his dad changed. He started to treat me as a subordinate. He forgot I was supporting his career and working to care for his child. He started treating me like a slave. I became an employee. If something wasn’t done he felt he could criticize me like I was an extension of him and not a person with days where I felt tired. If made the choice to play with my son instead of cleaning he felt like he could belittle my choice. And this is why women fought to get out of that. It messes with a man’s head if he is weak or had sexist thoughts hidden below or is just an asshole. One I was working again if he did that I could say, “I don’t need you to pay for that so you can’t hold it over my head that you fed me” I’m simplifying but that is the gist. Ideally you find a man who values that work, feels like it’s an equal team if you want to do the trad wife thing.
Soo important !!!
Being a stay at home mom was the hardest job I ever had by far. It sounds great. But it is extremely isolating and thankless with no breaks.
Could you do a video on Megan Fox’s interview on Call Her Daddy? I just find it hard to understand her. In retrospect she acknowledges how young she was when she started a relationship with her ex husband and within three weeks of their relationship ending she’s already in another relationship. How should you feel if your ex moves on so quickly? Also, why do some women always find themselves in a relationship and others find it hard to get into a relationship. Or in general make sense of some of the things she was saying. What it is about people who are introverted yet live in the public eye, claim they don’t want marriage but they themselves are engaged, or they’re sensitive to criticism but doesn’t change their lifestyle. When is the attention seeking no longer a behavior but your personality.
Yes!! Her interview was a bit chaotic. And that’s a really good point, why does some girls seem to have an endless string of boyfriends while other girls are on the complete opposite end of the Spectrum!
Because some women put up with shit men do and some don't. All my girlfriends that are hopping from long term relationship to long term relationship deal with stuff their boyfriends do, I would never tolerate. Look at Meghan and MGK. Do you think someone like Shallon would have tolerance for MGKs behavior? 😂
Becouse some women are very beautiful or popular or wealth, some of them have those three things going on, and for regular women it's difficult to be in a relationship, becouse most men gravitates towards beautiful, sparkle, lively, upper glass women.
Man, this conversation is so valid and important.
I’m a single mother of one son. My son’s father [loose term] told me for 4 years he wanted a baby. I fell pregnant and he left with an astonishing quickness. I made really good money for myself for a good time, was in school. Then I became sick. It’s been hard. I don’t get child support and don’t want it. My son’s father will never be able to say he did a thing to contribute to my son and I like to keep it that way. My thing is: I’ve dated successful men and I can’t ever get to the point of love, or being in love. I don’t know what it is. I fall for men that I’m above, is various ways. I hate to say that but it’s just the truth. I feel uncomfortable when a man pays for anything or fixes anything and I know the psychological aspect of it, but I fail to change it, I simply don’t know how. I’m exhausted of being a rehab for men, being the smartest woman in the room. So tired that my body is sick too. My grandmother is alone and has been for about 20 years, my mother is stunning and runs circles around anyone mentally and wants nothing to do with men. She’s been alone for years, won’t even let a man touch her. I went 4 years with no dating, no sex and while it’s peaceful, I found myself in another dead end relationship that I had to end recently. I don’t want the life my mom and nana have. I’m good being alone, too good. But it doesn’t serve us in the end very well.
I guess I’ve lost hope. I have hope for others, genuinely, by the millions but for myself it’s a different story.
Thank you Shallon, for sharing your mind here. You’re doing a very good thing my dear!
I guess im a "trad wife", but i dont feel an imbalance of power. We are a team. We make decisions together & my husband will do anything asked of him. He is gone most of the week but will still walk in the door then wash the dishes before bed even when i tell him not to. Taking care of us makes him happy & taking care of my family/home make me happy. Its nice to have a stable environment with someone who you know you can depend on
You are not a trad wife, you are a spoiled girlie ❤️ this is how it’s supposed to be… hopefully he funds your own personal retirement account and investment portfolio every month too for security in case things changed or something happened. Happy for you!!
Then you are not a trad wife. Trad wife had mostly no power or say, no making decision together😂
How do you know you can depend on him. He can be dead or gone tomorrow
@@natashamoriarty8629even if you are old the man can change any time. People change. We are not stones.
@@jarkachalmovianska7812it’s called life insurance
THANK YOU for standing up fearlessly about the trans issue. Its just like a man to try to invade women's sports and spaces. 🙄
LITERALLY the proof that they're not women is how absolutely man-agressive they are 🙄 An actual woman would respect other people's lanes.
I want to see shallon lester vs Andrew Tate. 😂
Dang, epic
Yeee i really want to do this
I’d pay money to see that
🤯🤯🤯
I feel so burned down at work that staying home, cooking, cleaning and watching after the children became such a dream. I'd be so happy to do it for the next 2-3 years, but cannot imagine all life.
I was a feminist turned trad wife.. I ended up a single mother of 3 lol
YEP honestly this outcome is more likely than not, so you're in ample company
Seems to be happening quite a bit
Yeah men say they want trad wives but they still treat them like absolute trash.
@chelseamiracle128 I was always a nurturer and I always loved the idea of trad wife life. But it's such a hard core life when it's not just cute little hobby. I think I was kind-of the original cosplay tradwife. I had an apron collection. I enjoy vintage fashion...
Babe with 3 kids.. there is no time for fashion. My apron collection all have stains on them now. There is no time to do my hair perfectly. The husband was no help. The man made my life a living hell. I love my kids and no regrets but it was a crazy struggle to get away from him and gain independence. We must warn the others lol!!!
Doesn't he have to take the kids half the time?
I would only be a trad wife if I got to stay childless and was married to a unicorn man (emotionally intelligent & supportive, kind, generous all the qualities we’re all looking for) who gave me around the same amount of money or more as I made at my job.
Are you worth a unicorn man though or could they choose someone better suited?
@@JaZmine147Doesn’t matter if there is someone better. The point still stands they would only be a trad wife under those conditions.
@@cecee3480 If she doesn't fulfill the requirements, it's not her decision. The men decide for her.
@@JaZmine147 No man will have her as a trad wife if the things she require are not met. So it doesn’t matter if some man decides he won’t do those things because they were never an option to begin with. You obviously are not comprehending.
@@cecee3480thanks!!! You’re the best!! I knew it was some loser with limited comprehension skills 😂😂
Shallon you need to debate JustPearlyThings on this topic. Her recent debate with Michael Knowles was so hard to watch. 🥴
On another note Happy International Women’s Day ladies. ✨ 🌺
Let's not do that to Shallon.....it's well proven that JustPearlyThings is a fraud.....it will be a waste of Shallons time!
I would love to see Shallon destroy her 😂
I would love to be a trad wife but I fight too much
😅 me too girl! That and I love the freedom that having my own money affords me
Same girl same. I must have been a Dominatrix in a former life !!!
Love breaking the balls of entitled, selfish men😆
Hahaha this. Yup. But also like Shallon said too - When I give up control & watch my bf fail to make a reservation or consider certain things I’m just like?? But if I don’t express disappointment how else will he learn to be better next time? Lol
@@morgans4962 that's it, we can't give up control to a man who doesn't know how to be responsible with it.
right now, with insane rents etc, being a trad wife is a wealth flex. Most of these woman are actually from wealthy backgrounds. When researched, some have been exposed to have had a failed career. Usually, to get a man to pay for life you have to be exceptionally pretty so, I get the sense that the sub text of their TikTok videos is 'Í´m prettier than you´. Nobody is saying trad wives are not feminist, they are calling out trad wives for attacking feminism as a 'lie that was sold to women' which is BS.
so refreshing to hear your thoughts Shallon. It blows my mind how women who call themselves feminists bully other women who chose lifestyle that doesnt align with their own. Im a trained clinical psychologist and psychotherapist currently pregnant for 2nd time, on maternity leave and as much as i love my job im enjoying every single moment of being at home and obsessing about cleaning products for a change instead of other peoples problems😂. Leave women alone. Peace and war starts at home (with a happy woman) so dont piss us off with your „feminist” pressure to be everything for everyone. Not all women are built for both family life and career and its ok if juggling both feels like too much for you. Also once I went on a sick leave I realised how easily I can be replaced at my company. Basically nobody called me to check if i was ok and my daughter almost pissed her pants from joy that i was going to stay at home with her. that makes you think.
The notion that people who were literally born with male privilege are comparable to us is indeed problematic.
THANK YOU.
And people are trying to normalize biological men being in locker rooms with little girls..no no no
I’m actually quite fond of the house wife idea! Having a provider husband is plays a significant contribution to the household and lifestyle. Also, a lot of modern housewives have started their own business endeavors for residual income.
You are sooo right about the imbalance of power. Men oftentimes do control women with finances.
“Hello, it is me, a lawyer 🥸” 🤣🤣🤣
Well, I've dealt with so many family law cases where a 'trad wife' ends up below the poverty line and on food stamps after being tossed aside and my heart bleeds for them...I just want women to protect their rights and I want to clarify where my experience is from 🙂. But yes, it's a dorky opening, lol 🤣
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 wow, that’s tragic. Thanks for sharing this information with us so that we can make better, smarter decisions in our lives
@@Stephanie.101 And thank you for the positive encouragement 🙂
I only just entered my tradwife/sahm era after working as an engineer for 4 years and I just gotta say I love it. I was so over the endless meetings, OKRs, All-hands, and the corporate jargon.
This new role is work, don't get me wrong, but after you fully accept that laundry and dinner are just things that you are going to have to do daily, you start to create a system and excel in it.
One surprising upside that I've found is that I don't have to coordinate vacations/time off with my husband's work schedule and my work schedule and ask my boss special permission for this or that.
We now can just decide on a trip, my husband just notifies his boss and away we go.
Not having to stress over that, where you dread the work that piles up while you're away, is enough to make me love this lifestyle more.
Good luck to you. Just don’t forget to put some money on the side for yourself in case of emergency. If he decides to divorce you, access to his money will be cut, and you will have to solve things with your own means.
You are living the dream girl! Enjoy. I am also a career woman (project/product manager) and am just tired of all the useless meetings, all the snide jabs that female co-workers do to you daily because of god knows what reason. I am too nice for this. Yes I have my own money, am independent, have a nice fiancé etc. but the daily "girl bossing" life is not for me because you need to be hard, you have to push back and be mean to people to get ahead, not something I aspire to do.
@@Valerie-s6n when you’re married, there is no “his” or “her” money. You have communal assets.
@@CHK12319 lol there are thousand ways to make our money disappear, so there is nothing to split. And the moment divorce is announced, everyone is on their own. Trust your partner, but don’t be foolish. Always have your own emergency fund and job.
@katiavoznaya2395 You should definitely talk to your fiance about how you can make the lifestyle you want work after marriage. You have every right to want to embrace your femininity rather than be miserable in a corporate job.
The books that really helped guide me on this path is Ask Your Husband by Mrs. Timothy Gordon (you can even find lectures by the author on RUclips) and The Summa Domestica 3-Volume set by Leila Lawler - the third book in particular gives you great practical tips on how to organize your home especially if you would like to have many kids. Best of luck to you!
I'm an electrical engineering major. Even though I want a husband and kids someday, I could never be a trad wife. My mom is a trad wife and she told me no matter how hard it seems to be a career woman, I should keep going. This connects to your video about mom guilt. It's a momentary emotion, like irrational anger. Mom guilt traps you into being self-sacrificial. Honestly, I don't think TRUE alpha men want trad wives. There is a hunger that alpha men have that trad wives don't. So, how could alpha men (who are pack builders) want trad wives? As a trad wife, you are giving and giving to others. There's no reward. No paycheck every week. No A+ on that calculus exam. Being a trad wife is full of delayed gratification. That mindset is different from what alphas want. That's why (I think) they are incompatible. How could a trad wife respect that drive (when they don't have that) and how could alpha's respect trad wives? Women (even women who love being mothers) shouldn't put themselves in that position. Women need something of their own.
Well said👏👏. I especially liked the part where you mentioned what hunger signifies to an alpha man.
Very true. A warrior king needs a warrior queen, not a maid.
Working sucks. I absolutely love being home.
Terf! I love it! I'm slow on the uptake with these terms so I hadn't heard this one yet, but clearly I'm with you. I don't always agree with everything you say, Shallon, but I definitely do more times than not. You're very much on my wavelength and it's awesome. I have a hard time finding that in people in general. True feminism is about equality and CHOICES. Whether a woman chooses to be a traditional wife and/or homemaker is cool if that's what she digs. That's a hard ass job so more power to them!
This is so perfectly timed. I basically burnt out working full time in National Security and as a creative small business owner. I met a guy dominant, loving guy, quit my job and in three weeks Ive moved into his home to try out the stay-at-home-GIRLFRIEND vibes. He expects nothing from me except to try, and find ways to be happy as I decompress - and Ive learned to love cooking and finding fun activities for us (he pays for everything!). I know I wont do this forever but OMG it is such a relief to have a break and support from a REAL man. Shout out to Lithuania for making him!
All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
Shallon in honor of the 20th year anniversary of Mean Girls, you should do a series. Looking back now, Janice was THE most mean girl, she was envious, bitter and resentful. You should do a breakdown of the characters! Kind of Mini Spring Break Evil Week lol.
If you got yourself a man who doesn't see you as a maid, by all means -- go for it. But unfortunately, you only find out how much he respects you AFTER you put yourself in that situation.
I have no issue with women who choose to stay at home and look after their families. However, I have issue with influencers who promote the work free, trad wife lifestyle whilst working with big brands and seeking an income to promote their lifestyle. It’s just hypocritical
I’m a live in nanny in Paris and I’ve nannied kids before, picked them up from school, watch them for 3-5 hours sometimes longer if the parents have a date night, and I got paid REALLYY well. Living here though my contract says I “only work” 25 hours a week 5ish hours a day, but it’s been way more. They don’t leave me alone. Especially on weekends. They come up to my room and touch everything they can, make fun of everything I do because kids are stupid, and don’t leave me alone!! It’s driving me insane. I wish I could separate my “place of work” from where I live. And this is also how I’m realizing motherhood is notttt for me. I do have a new sense of appreciation and gratitude for my own mother and everyone who has kids. How in the world…
I felt the same way about kids until my late twenties. They were annoying, filthy creatures.🤣
I promise you'll feel differently about your own children, should you change your mind. 😀
Hello there, hope you're having a good day!
If you don't mind my input, sounds like the kids need more support in learning about respect & boundaries. Maybe you can embrace this challenging situation as a massive learning opportunity for you to improve your communication skills instead of taking a defeated stance & blaming them?
With warm wishes💕
I've always said being a traditional wife is awesome only if 1) a woman has some type of higher education or higher learning and 2) she has some work experience.3)she's married after age 24-25.
I'm a traditional wife. (I'm gen X and can't bring myself to use the word trad-wife) But I'm also 52, I have a master's degree and I worked from the time I was 14 until I was 33. I worked full time for corporate America for 8 years. So there is a world of difference between someone like me vs a woman who is married by 18-20, zero education and work experience, and never earned her own money.
I can honestly say I love taking care of my husband and our home more than any job I've ever worked. We are both happier. All the women I know in my situation are pretty damn happy honestly.
And our finances improved immensely when I stopped working. My husband went full steam into his career. I focused on the home and budget. I couldn't believe the money wasted when we both worked. The book The Two Income Trap does a great job of showing how two people working full time doens't necessarily put them in a better position financially.
I think you’re delusional if you think that you aren’t in the same position as a woman who married younger and doesn’t have a career prior to being a mother. I became a young mother, have an associates college education and five jobs work experience but an older husband who has had a life before he met me and has a career with two masters degrees and he is more than willing to devote his life to family. In my experience of living many different places and moving across the country twice meeting other moms who used to be doctors or engineers and even school principals (my own mother was a doctor before staying home too!) before becoming stay at home moms they are living the EXACT same lifestyle as I am but they arrived there at a later point in life. Their struggles are the same struggles as mine. We meet at the same places for kid activities, have similar schedules, live in the same place, drive the same cars. If anything they have a more difficult time in their transition from their careers to being a “trad wife” because it turns a turmoil within them psychologically and they were used to a totally different sense of self worth and identify and usually a pace of life/ material and social and personal expectations. But there’s also the reason they chose to stay home and give up their careers.
Keep in mind that lifestyle content creators are intentionally glamorizing their lives to gain your attention. They are literally proping a camera wherever they go. That is not real life.
So no matter what route you decide to take in this life, make sure that it is your will and respect other women if their choices are different than yours.
precisely... you can't purchase womanhood... feminism is about giving women CHOICES!
yes!
Shallon I’m so
Proud of you and just seeing the growth in you and we’ll roundness you you’ve come into about so
Many important things…. Well done girl!!! Some
Goose whisper!!
If you are a social media influencer you are not a ‘trad wife’. You might even make more money than your husband…
Trad wives of this generation are definitely exorbitantly better off, than our mothers. A lot of us have a college education, and still choose to stay home. Once your little ones are older and independent, your degree will never fail you. Heck, schools are constantly hiring retired teachers for example. Also, we have the internet, for recipes , hacks, new appliances, and thanks to feminism more men are aware of doing their share of household responsibilities with children and seeing women as human, and not just “dishwashers” . 💕
I think a lot of us older millennials fell into the "3rd wave feminism" and came to discover - No, you will never be equal to a man, that promotion comes with a lot of sacrifice both professionally and personally, and not always worth the sacrifice. Your words hit me hard when you said "The better I get the lonelier I get". I was taught to want that "JFK Jr." type man, but so did a lot of other girls too. There not enough of those to go around.
Shallon is the real deal, being terf and standing for womanhood for Women's Day ❤
I just wanted to add, if you raise a good kid or two, when you’re alone and old, they will be there for you. Can’t say that about a man. Just shining light on this for the single moms out there like myself. You’re doing good work.
They are making money online and monetize their looks!!
People are so on point about online trad wives being hypocrites!!
My grandmother decided to go to work because she wanted her own money. My mom worked. I was raised to work. The women in my family have always valued the ability to have financial independence because it’s smart to be able to take care of yourself even if you’re married to a man who makes enough money to pay for everything. Just in case.
Also, I’d hate not having some sort of job outside motherhood and the home. My mom stayed home with us for a couple of years when we were very little and she says going in to work is far easier than staying home with children. I can’t disagree. 😂
I suppose I'd consider myself a Trad Wife. I do have employment (I work about 15 hrs a week, so I mean...) but honestly I work only for the social aspect. I work in a popular lingerie store and it's all women, so that's were I go to get my girl-time. At home, it's taking care of my husband and my teenage son (which can feel like a full-time job) so sometimes I feel like the odd one out, but I absolutely love it. I don't worry about bills or getting my car fixed (hubby is a very handy man lol) and I just focus on making them happy, taking my son to guitar practice, pretending to be fascinated with their video games and fart jokes. But it makes them happy, which in turn, makes me happy. Plus, I looove to cook and clean (no, really, I do. Stop rolling your eyes 🤣). I wouldn't change it for anything ❤️
My mom was a tradwife & got screwed over by my dad during their divorce.
Never depend on a man to support you financially.
I'm a normal stay-at-home mom. Most of my friends are also normal stay-at-home moms and we take care of our kids. My husband is a wonderful man who respects me and what I do. He doesn't question what I buy, he tells me I'm beautiful, encourages me to go out with friends, etc. We are a team. We both work during the day in different ways to care for our family, and in the evenings we work together. Life can be mundane at times but life is GOOD. Its fulfilling. I appreciate the slowness. Reading to my kids, watching a show with my husband, playing a board game as a family. Its the little things I just treasure. This is the life I love.
Shallon this is such a good take.
Tradwives make me so nervous my dad never supported my mom after their divorce and she and I really suffered for it.
I watch real housewives and several of the women are going through a divorce and have nowhere to live like one woman, Lisa from Miami I highly suggest you look into her divorce. This man kicked her and her kids out of their $40 million home she is forced to date another rich guy just to buy her an apartment so she has somewhere to live!
Same with a girl that married a man three times her age, on the real housewives of Potomac, she doesn’t even have a house in her name anymore. Same with Erika Jayne from Beverly Hills.
Hit the nail on the head with transgender women. Thank you.
I only considered being a Tradwife after the pandemic because I was working 52-56 hours a week, making 6 figures and feeling unhappy. After a major car accident, I realized that time spent with family was more important than being in the office. I changed my whole life and moved out of the city and earn less money now. I let my husband take care of things. I used to have physical health problems like skin, heart, and acid reflux due to the amount of stress I was previously under. I am happy that I adopted this new mindset because it makes me feel stress free. After almost a year, the stress has finally dissipated. Now I am able to finally get pregnant because my body feel stable and regulated. This is a very interesting topic and I would love to deep dive into the history of it. ☺
I was listening to your manifestation vid you did during quarantine for the upteenth time today because I needed a fix and then you post! Thank you for chiming in on this topic. Do you think you would be interested in doing a vid on Elizabeth Hurley and her son? Maybe how to deal with a guy who has sloppy boundaries with their mom or has an Oedipus complex?
Simple. Don't. 😅
@@missn111😂 So true! I have to admit though I would love to hear Shallon speak about the two of them. Especially the mom. 😁
I used to think I was trans and I completely agree with you. Since I was born I always I thought I wanted to be a girl. I loved skirts, make up, dolls etc… Because of the medias influence I thought wanting to have nails, makeup, long hair etc… meant that I want to be a woman. Social Media made that wish even more significant. Even tho there was this acceptance of boys being able to be feminine, there was still people, especially from the lgbt community, being like: wait you like girly stuff? That means you are trans or non binary or sh*t like that. If you ask a trans person or a non binary person: hey why are you trans or non binary their answer always was like: well I can’t identify with the male society role and manly attributes. I identify with the female „Role". So I was like, damn that’s me. I didnt like the manly stuff and the role that comes with it and I love girly stuff so that must mean I’m also trans. ( I’m now convinced that this even was because of trauma I went through as a child) At age 15 I went to see a psychiatrist and endocrinologist and I was 1 meeting away from actually getting hormones. Thank god something stopped from going to that meeting. I am now a 22 year old proud man. Im gay and I sometimes express myself in a feminine manner but that doesn’t make me a woman. Since hitting puberty and getting some testosterone into my system, I now even love some typical “man” stuff like sports and football. I now kind of even despise make up and stuff other feminin stuff. It was tough figuring everything out and finding my peace with being a man. I don’t identify with the lgbt community because of the kind of damage and confusion they brought up in me as a child. Me accepting and loving myself and my feminine side as a man was the way to healing my inner demons. I wish I could stop the trans community from transitioning children that are just trying to figure them selves out. It shouldn’t be legal until you are, like you said, 25. And don’t ever let them take your womanhood away. I love and accept trans people, I kind of went through their struggles, but being a trans woman doesn’t give you the right to speak for women. Trans woman will never be able to understand the energy and femininity that comes with being a woman. But that’s ok. That doesn’t make you something less, it just means you’re not what other women are. It’s so evil that biological man are now even trying to take away womanhood. It’s like ripping women apart with something new every century. To all cis ( I hate using that word) women I love and appreciate you.
I am a blend of trad. wife and working women. I work from home and make my own money but since I am the one who is not commuting to work everyday I do the cooking and general house up-keep. It's the perfect balance for me and I love it! ❤
Is he paying for everything? If not, it’s not a balance l, you’re being used!!
@@dreamchaser7603 Wait explain to me how "balanced" means one person is paying for everything when both work? To be clear, we have no kids and I make about 20% more than him. We have a joint account and our own personal accounts as well. He is a very skilled mechanic and handy man so he definitely pulls his weight in all aspects of our life. I am not reliant on him and he is not reliant on me. The downside of being a trad. wife is that you are reliant on your husband 100%, that's just not me. And this is the lifestyle that works for us... married 7 years and both very happy!
It is all about balance for me. It baffles me when I see couples not discussing the division of labor and what one expects from the other person. I see couples were both work but the woman is expected to take on all household planning and chores too. And then there is frustration, anger, without ever communicating. When I got in my current relationship, we had all those conversations from the get go. The first talk was about exclusivity. He approached that matter and told me after a couple of dates (were at the time I was open and honest that I saw other people too) that he really enjoys being with me and to continue fourther he would like us to be in a monogamous committed relationship. So we decided to do that. Then, when it came to finances and living together, we were both earning pretty much the same and both had our own house. So we decided that each is responsible for the big expenses of their house seperately like house maintenance, bills, furniture ( we both use both houses) and we would share the other expenses like food, vacations, activities, going out equally, using an app to keep track, alternating who is paying what. Household chores are divided according to who is better at doing it or enjoying it more. I do the cooking, the bathroom, he vacuums and mops, I do the laundry, he puts the laundry away, I clean the windows, he takes out the trash. I am responsible for feeding and taking the dog out for a walk from morning till noon, he has those responsibilities evening and night. We discussed the scenario were if we decided to have a child, for as long as I would need or want to stay at home I would take care of all household chores and raising the child, he would pay all bills and the remaining money would be split equally. Also we push each other to advance in our careers and earn more. He got 2 promotions, I expanded my apartments for rent business. We have this silly thing were we "schedule" a meeting where we demand complete and undivided attention for one another and discuss anything needed. We check regularly if our needs and wants are met, discuss future goals and plans etc. An it works like a charm.
yeah but about maybe 70% of men are not like that
Well done and very inspiring. Goals.
Thank you Shallon!! For standing up for women unapologetically and bravely. We all know what they did to JKR when she stood up for woman. Men are not women and thats that
*YOU'RE TOTALLY GOLDEN SHALLON!!!*
*L. 100-9 which designated the month of March 1987 as “Women's History Month.” Between 1988 and 1994, Congress passed additional resolutions requesting and authorizing the President to proclaim March of each year as WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH.* 💃
Thank you!
@@shallonlester *most welcome!!! #1. Biden did remember (lol) to designate this month as WHM on 2.29. #2. i've been a TradWife for the last few years & i would pick this hands down over commuting on the NYC subway during rush hour...not to mention the shoot outs happening lately. i'm both a TradWife AND a Shalligator. love & respect your take.* 🤗🐊💛🏡🛒
To be honest, I'm just 20 years old and single so this probably doesn't apply to me, but this whole tradwife trend just seems kinda dangerous to me. Obviously, every woman has the right to do what she pleases in her life, but just the idea of handing over all this power to a MAN and serve him for the rest of my life seems very bad. Like, what if he ends up being abusive? What if he doesn't allow me to take any money for things that I may want but he doesn't approve of? What if he doesn't leave me any time to do my hobbies or hang out with my friends or educate myself? I know that these are bad scenarios, but really how many men do you know that understand the concepts of emotional labor and sound boundaries? It's a big no for me and I genuinely hope that these new tradwives who jumped on the bangwagon during and/or after the pandemic don't end up regretting it.
The Terf rant is such a hallelujah!!!
I fulfilled most of my dreams: traveling, living in different continents, getting a degree. I married late in life and had child at 40. I decided to stay home and raise my child. I married a responsible, educated, loving man that had no problem with me staying home. We then lived in Europe. I learned another language. I studied part-time Fashion Design. I make a lot of big decisions. Now twelve years later, I am starting my own business with the skills I have. I never stopped learning or reading.. economy, art, stocks, design. But you have to dedicate yourself the first few years bringing up a great child with love. And you need to keep the spark alive too.. be feminine. I’m Latina so it is not so uncommon.
That's all valid
And you need to remember that your kids will grow up and won't need you to be there that intensively or even cook for them. I wasn't trad wife exactly I stayed at home bc cost of child care would be my monthly income but I start to going back to education and work force as soon as my youngest child went to school. Don't let yourself be left behind ladies
Shallon I’m the eldest in my family with a not so supportive mother so I always wished I had a wiser sister I’m forever grateful for finding your channel especially that I’m OBSESSED with psychology I’m still learning about the world and myself and haven’t figured out so many stuff yet but THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️love from Kuwait
I have three adult children two boys 28,27 and a 21 year old daughter. I raised them alone all have the same father ( I only mention that because my kids only saw one man fail them and myself ) , mostly them.
I raised them all with the same mindset as long as what you are doing makes you happy and feel empowered and in control of your own destiny. What you are doing hurts no one ( on purpose ) you can’t control other people’s attachments or emotions just don’t hurt on purpose then you are doing what your supposed to and I am proud of you.
I raised them as a single mother worked my butt off. My oldest is 28 wants to be a traditional husband. He said he loves me so much and he will love his wife too and he never wants someone to feel so stressed when they are trying to do the most important job in the world be a mother. He wants her to be able to be relaxed and enjoy her life because her being happy is important for the children to be happy. Also, him being happy is important to his children being happy. He wants to be able to come home and play catch and do all these things with his kids.
He has wanted to be a dad since he was three talked about it all the time. My middle son wants to live in the forest away from everyone and he grows his own food and he doesn’t want to be with anyone at all.
My daughter would love to be a traditional wife. She is saving herself her marriage as is my older son. I was a teen mom I was nearly 18 but I was still a teen. I am not a Christian but I raised my kids and I taught him everything about the Bible , because I believe you have to make an educated decision in everything including religion. So my oldest is a Christian my middle son is a Buddhist my daughter doesn’t really know yet and she doesn’t have to.
I can see from my oldest son and my daughter why they want a traditional life. I am proud of both of them. I am proud of my middle son for choosing to be unattached. I truly think people try to get involved in other peoples choices. Just be happy , love your life and don’t hurt anyone on purpose. Who are these traditional families hurting ?
No one.
All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
I'm a trad wife since Covid and I'm so freaking bored, it's unbelievable. That's why I want to go back to work. Nobody talks about how annoying it is to be financially dependent on someone. It can be very isolating because at work I always had someone to talk to. My mom was one as well for a decade and went back to work eventually because she missed the feeling of earning her own money and having a purpose in life. I think it can be rewarding for some women but not for the independent kind of girl who gets a kick out of making her own money. And all these online trad wifes are essentially content creators who probably outearn their husbands by now.
These days a lot of trad wifes stay at home all day and we're not supposed to live like that, isolated from others. I think at heart we are all tribal people and that's why some prefer to go to work I guess, just to be surrounded by people and to have their own thing going on.
You cannot purchase womanhood..yes 👏👏👏👏
Totally agree with you on Dylan Mulvaney… She/he/whatever gets on my nerves
Same. An annoying attention seeker is all HE is!!
I'm trans, and he gets on my nerves too.
Not sure why this is considered a “trend”. Every woman that came before me in my family was SAHM. I love being home with my babies and never for a second miss going to work.
as trad wives, to be independent, you need to still have some control over the money he makes. for example, joint accounts, joint houses/poperties, having your own account where he deposits a monthly allowance, having your own retirement account where he deposits your allowance. also need to be educated and know about life insurance, etc. it's your fault as a trad wife if you completely are ignorant about the household finances. if a trad wife gets a monthly allowance, invests in her own retirement account, is co owner of any or at least some property, she will be ok even if he makes bad financial decisions or divorces her because she will have her own money and be co owner of property that she doesn't have to fight over in court or can't access easily.
Housewife life was not easy whatsoever. They romanticize being traditional but our grandmothers popped valium and day drinked due to the pressure of being perfect and alone all day just to take care of the home for her family. Found drugs at the house of my perfect little grandmother after she passed. No one would EVER have suspected. She was a true conservative and tradwife in every way. But she was terrible lonely except for the times SHE arranged dinners for mutual friends. After she passed grandpa's social life fell apart TOTALLY. He was nothing without her. His whole life was weighing on HER shoulders.
17:35 facts. I feel that sigh deep in my soul atleast 5 times a day. Started working at 17, got a useful degree, helped start 2 successfully family businesses from it & man am I excited to just be a wife one day.
Knowing I can choose a man who would be happy with me still working part time in the family business hopefully creating another one together some day with a kid running around. Like you said, us being able to choose how our lives will look like is all thanks to the original idea of feminism.
All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
My mom would be considered a trad wife. When I was 3 or 4 she decided ( pressured) to work. I hated it! I wanted to be home with her. After realizing she didn't make enough working, she became a stay at home mom.
She got hell but she worked, hard! Raising me, my brother taking care of my dad and our pets along with the house. It's hard I work full time and I struggle keeping up with my house.
I agree with you let people do what is best for them.
If you are independently wealthy, trad away! I can’t support it otherwise. It’s a bad deal for the woman. The financial support you get is not fair compensation for what you provide: 24/7 childcare, domestic work, sex, emotional support, etc.
The trad wife path is my personal nightmare. Doing repetitive low-IQ tasks all day (cleaning, babysitting) would have me clawing at walls. In the professional world, all the downsides acknowledged, the big advantage is - your intellect is made use of, your skills are constantly pushed to grow, your brain does actual work.
Oh, and then your husband leaves you for a younger chick once you’ve raised his kids.
I’m sorry, is that a joke?
Thank you for saying what everyone is thinking!
Semi trad here of 10 years 😂 I dont wear special outfits to clean, but I do make a conscious effort to always look good for him and try to be tidy most days. I used to work full-time, now I work part time- all my money goes into my savings- he pays for anything under the sun I might want. I don't stay home all the time, but now that I'm part-time, I actually have days for trips with my bff, or sister, or Mom and Dad or doing nothing, I literally want for nothing!🤗 It's amazing!!
All I had to do was not go out every weekend, and not post thirst-traps on social media and act desperate for other's attention, oh and stop trying to control everything and trust his decision making (THAT WAS HARD) 🤷🏼♀️😅 we go to the gym together at night instead of going 'out'👌🏼 He still opens the car door for me, carries my bag if needed, brings me to my appointments.. It's a dream come true for me because I absolutely adore him- but if you don't really like your man, I can imagine this being quite difficult!
I was just like you. Not going out every weekend (with the knowledge I have now I wish I did), not being "thristy" for other men, not posting much on social media. And what has this got me? Nothing. All butterflies and rainbows until he decides he is not attracted to you anymore as you age. Watch him abuse you. Or one day coming up to you and be like :"Your tits are saggy. Don't want to see that. Get out of my house". Seen it so many times, you can't depend on someone like that, becaue there will always the high chance of him abusing his power. Again, as shallon said... look at the statistics.
My dad said that if my husband wants me to do all the house work (the trad wife thing) so that he has the time to concentrate on his career and make the money, then I should get part of his income as my own "salary" and that has to be a real amount not pocket money. On top of the fact that he will provide and pay for our life expenses. And if the money he makes is not enough to do that, then he cannot afford a "trad wife".
Your dad is wise.
35:07 At one of my lowest points in college, I thought about saying screw it I’ll just be a housewife who occasionally writes til I make a book of art photography in 20 years. But my mother told me “you have to work before you get married so if you ever have to, you know you can work and take care of yourself.” I don’t know if that’s exact quote but that’s the gist of it.
That said 7 years later, I’m about to graduate with a Master of Science. Still single but I know a degree won’t walk out on me in the middle of the night saying “I don’t love you anymore”
I'm a mix of both. My husband let me quit my job managing medical centres to pursue my writing so I'd be home to help care for his daughter when she came to visit. Over the years I've taken on part time jobs when we were struggling (we live in an expensive Queensland town and have 4 kids all up and his baby mama tried to take us to the cleaners in addition to messing up his taxes when they were together) but I haven't worked a full time job ever really.
But I do 'work.' I'm a novelist with 33 titles and I am a professional actress/singer/dancer on weekends in a dinner theatre because my long term goal is to write an original musical. Also I just happen to be good at it, I've always loved performing so it's my hobby that became a side hustle.
I give 150% to every endeavour. When I'm in a big show that becomes my priority, same with when I've got momentum going on a book and hubby supports that 100%. But every spare second I have is dedicated to raising my kids, keeping our house perfect, cooking beautiful meals, working out, dressing myself up, personal training him and my second eldest daughter and helping our 19 year old (my stepdaughter) pursue her beauty pageant dreams.
I get up, get kids to school then go to work out. I get home scrub house arrange lunches for next day and dinner that night then either write or rehearse or both until school finishes. Then I run them to their extracurriculars, work out with him, serve dinner, spend some time with him then tuck everyone in and go write or rehearse again.
It's exhausting and it blows peoples minds how I get it all done (my 4 kids are kind of amazing and dominate at a lot of what they do too) but I love being busy and I am so proud that I turned my wild childhood dreams into an income. And I have to laugh when I tell people I'm the PTA (p and C here down under) vice president on Thursday and usually in a corset and chorus heels Friday and Saturday!
It's all worth it. Hubby and I are still crazy about us 16 years later and our family is awesome and happy. I am SO grateful to him and I love being a stay at home mum, but my novels are all fantasy about women taking on misogyny and my husband would never dream of rubbing the money he makes in my face because he knows I'd probably be able to beat him up :)
🙌🙌 keep up the amazing work!
I personally think being a tradwife would probably be best if you have a college degree or skill set to fall back on if the marriage fails. It’s sad to think of women that have devoted their lives to a husband and children getting divorced through no fault of their own, getting screwed financially in the divorce and having to scrape by while the ex husband is living his best life, spending his money on a new woman. Happens all the time. Do what makes you happy but maybe get a prenup that guarantees that you’ll be taken care of should things not work out.Have those discussions and get it on paper before devoting your whole life to family and home…Peace and love to ALL wives out there 🙏🏻
Honestly, Shallon. I’m sitting in my studio literally clapping with applause at your views on why you are a proud Terf! You’re so right and you articulated your sentiments perfectly. Big salute ❤️
Also ladies, my mother always said to me NEVER be financially reliant on a man.
My dad divorced her after 40 years of marriage! Yes, 40!
She was cheated on with a younger model and left at 57. She married him in the late 1960s, a week before her 18th birthday because she was pregnant.
She’s 74 now and has basically never recovered. She never imagined that anybody would divorce her after that amount of time.
I’m 35 and the oldest of her second batch of children with the same father. 20 years between my eldest sister and I.
Times have changed and nobody gets married just because they are pregnant.
However, you never know when you could get caught out. It’s important to have a degree of independence.
Omg BASED! A feminist who respects trans people but also doesn't deny logic?WE STAN!
And you know what ladies, this is why I always say: get a man who loves you just a little bit more than you love him