How to Say No to Food WITHOUT Restricting or Feeling Deprived
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
- HOW TO SAY NO TO FOOD WITHOUT RESTRICTING OR FEELING DEPRIVED
If you know that restricting triggers binge eating for you AND you are struggling to find balance without dieting, this one is for you.
I talk about the challenges of making food decisions from a conflicted place and share some (hopefully) helpful reframes to help you navigate from bingeing to balance.
True food freedom involves being about to say yes and no when making food choices.
Please check out the podcast Life After Diets, which I co-host with Stefanie Michele. Available across most podcast platforms. We are on Patreon! Become a patreon of the show and join our Facebook community for connection, discussions and live recordings! Sign up here: / lifeafterdiets
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Website - thebingeeatingtherapist.com
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The thing about “eat more before they’re all gone” was so true for me! I often need to remind myself that m
the food I eat isn’t going anywhere and i can slow down and savour
The simple mindset change from "yes or no" to "maybe later" is a real gamechanger. This is a very helpful distinction, as is your discussion of how the idea of restriction can sneak back into our lives despite best intentions. This really affirms for me how the stressed and restriction-focussed household I grew up in has created my own fears of missing out around food. I still feel those niggling fears from time to time, especially around holidays and the special foods that are only available then. But thankfully I am getting better at listening to my body when it tells me something just isn't good for me (wheat is a big one). Also appreciating what good food does for me is helpful. Thank you for your great help!
My waking sugar levels dropped significantly when I started not eating after 6 pm. Any food I wanted, I just said, “ I’ll have it for breakfast.” ( which was around 9:30 or 10 in the morning for my break. So I did have to impose a restriction, but it was just so i could regulate my blood sugar. I also had to take a walk after my last meal - just to ensure that the food was processed before bedtime. I discovered that some foods at certain time made me crave more. When I researched (pre web days, I actually went to the food science guys at the university) I discovered that food manufactures added things to food to some of their foods in order to make us crave them and want more. This area of food enhancements was heavily researched and developed starting in the mid 80s. To ME, that was enough to make me resolved to avoid those foods. Like any drug, it was easier for me to stay clear of foods that set me off.
There is a huge wave now of intermittent diets going on now, but that 16 hour fast is exactly how I’ve structured my eating for the past 40 years. I feel a bit like the southern belles when I attend dinners and parties where I know food is served later in the evening. I eat a slightly smaller dinner prior to the event, then taste and nibble at the late night offerings, and whenever possible, I take a portion home for later. I would even carry a folded piece of aluminum foil and a plastic baggie in my purse. And I wasn’t afraid to tell the hostess that I couldn’t eat something specific late at night and I would really like to take it with me to have with morning tea. ( which is my first meal time). Nobody ever made me badly or impolite for asking. In fact, many people in my group would take their dessert home for later and the hostesses seemed pleased that we considered it so special that we didn’t want to miss out.
So, my three tips are, 1) eating after dinner is really bad for the hunger and insulin hormones, so say “ later” to all after dinner treats and have them for morning tea., 20 KNOW that food is formulated specifically to trigger that MORE impuls, so it’s not your fault, and as you mindfully discover these foods that cause you to react, use the knowledge that they are manipulating you as the as the motive energy to fight against that manipulation and avoid those foods, and 3) PREPRE for being able to say, “later” by bringing your foil and/or baggie and asking to take it home BECAUSE you cannot eat whatever it is at that time due to “medication issues”. Let’s face it, avoiding becoming insulin dependent is definitely a medication issue!
Wow! I love this comment!
I've seen so many polarizing videos on binge eating recovery, and you are the first person I've watched who speaks about the topic from a place of both allowance/"all in" style of eating, while also seeing the importance of physical health and not just letting yourself go, completely. This is the exact debate I've been having in my head for so long, to which I have never been given a good solution. The recovery community seems to look at it from either "have any food you want, at any time, for any reason, and any time you say no is restriction" (which leads to the constant overeating you speak about), or "you must cut out sugar/grains/fats/whatever, as you are addicted to __ food" (which leads to bingeing). I appreciate all your hard work making this content. It's been so helpful to me!
Yes! I was caught up in that eat anytime for any reason vs the restrict/control/avoid, back and forth who is correct. So stressful! I just last week read something that really helped me, maybe you'll enjoy it too. It was in a book that The Binge Eating therapist recommended called the yoga of eating. It said that eating everything you can is eating more than everything you want. This made me stop and think hard. I think I interpreted the "permission" part of intuitive eating to mean I can and should eat at every urge, every craving, etc. But this book explained everything you want includes 'what does my body want right now?' For example I may want this cake, but not want to feel sick later, and when I check in with my body, it actually wants some veggies so maybe I'll have a tiny piece of cake and a large salad/soup or something. Like do I really want to binge a huge amount of cake if I really am honest and ask myself? So I'm probably not explaining it great but now when I think of permission to eat everything I WANT, that is different from eating everything I can. Everything I can is if it's in my cupboard or someone offers it or someone I'm hanging with want to eat, or an advertisement made my mouth water or whatever. Those are all times I CAN eat, but not necessarily what/the amount I truly WANT to eat.
@@massages_for_world_peace8909 thank you so much for the tip! that is a perspective I haven't heard yet! ill definitely check out that book. good luck in your recovery!
Sometimes i wonder if we had food deprived ancesters, which changed our genetics, and makes us more interested with food than other people, more scared about being deprived too. Thank you for talking about this subject, it is really helpful😊. Only people who have gone through this can understand. I had a great nutritionist 20 years ago who tremendously helped me. First she said "you know, you don't have to be skinny", then she removed the restrictions but asked me to really feel how food tastes when I ate one, two, three of those sweets, then she told me to always begin my meals with veggies ou fruits and do whatever i wanted after. I lost 15 kgs. Binge eating never came back but, the minute i think about dieting or restricting myself, i see those old demons crawling back right away....
I agree with your ancestral theory. I’ve often thought the same thing!
My mom used to steal my food 😭 i think that's part of it for me.
Wow, I'm 54 yrs old, yo yo dieted my whole life and had finally managed to lose and keep the weight off, but have consistently binged through all of it. How messed up right? I found your videos searching on this topic. 2 videos in, you put language to everything going on in my head all these years. God bless you 💜
This is so so true. Breathing and relaxing before you eat is so important. after a long day teaching school. I don't relax before I eat. I use my food to help me to relax!!! However, i don't really taste the food, it is just doing a job - the job of slowing my body down, consoling myself after pupils have been - well children... and so then when I am finished eating, I feel relaxed but I also start to feel down on myself and anxious about what I have just done. Therefore I am back to where I started but with the guilt of a binge to contend with. So, I will practise that today and everyday. Relax, look at the bounty that God has given me, and enjoy every mouthful. Thank you again Sarah. Caz. xo
My story too, after a super busy 10hr shift in ICU, I finally had an opportunity to eat, now I practice relaxation, unwinding then enjoying a healthy balanced meal. Feel happy, sleep well too. Thank you from Sydney.
It is exactly what I'm doing: yes, you can have it, later...and sometimes I remember that I wanted it, and sometimes I forget it, and I don't have it at all that day, and going to bed in the evening thinking, "oh, you actually didn't need it badly enough to remember it" is so rewarding and satisfying
I feel so incredibly thankful and blessed to have found your channel. I have not been able to find a therapist who specializes in binge eating disorder who will take my insurance. Your voice and demeanor are so very calming and soothing!
This video helped tremendously!!! I struggle greatly with giving myself permission to eat, and to now be able to tell myself I can have it now or later seems so simple and like I should have already thought of that … but I didn’t!
Thank you so very much, Sarah! ♥️
This one really struck a chord with me. Definitely helped me recognize some moments of tension within myself..thank you!
I totally recommend the podcast Life After Diets that Sarah mentioned. It is an amazing podcast, I would love that all the people that is struggling with binge eating listen to this podcast and experience how helpful its content is. This video is so helpful Sarah!!!👍👍 you have no idea how much it resonates. THANK YOU! 🥰❤🇨🇱
Thank you Andrea. I’m so glad it translates all the way over in Chile! 😍 I really hope I get to meet you at one of our zoom events at some point ❤️
Wow! not just permission but control. the chocolate finger scenario is completely me, even down to haveing a drink of wine in the evening, I need to have one when my husband offers, otherwise he'll drink it all, but I could just go and buy another one tomorrow. Just wow! Thank you
100% true. It took me almost a year to be comfortable to not starve myself, but I'm not binging anymore
This really hits on such an important topic! For a couple years at group potlucks it became easy to say no thanks to store-bought food b/c I knew if I really wanted it later I could go to the store and buy that exact dessert. But if it was homemade, I felt like I would not have another chance to try it. This was so hard for me until I realized I could take it home in a napkin and eat mindfully the next day. Or take a tiny portion to try, or ask someone to split it or even sometimes to learn to be okay with taking a bite then sneakily throwing away the rest of the cookie or whatever it was and not feel guilty about "wasting" food. With that bite I could still compliment the chef and not feel like I missed out on a one-time food, but also not eaten more than was healthy for my body and mind in that moment. :)
This was super helpful!! I feel like I've been stuck in the giving myself permission phase for years-which was an important step for me as someone who does NOT like restrictions of any sort! Butttt....I think I've been there too long saying I'll have it I'll have it I'll have it over and over again for years. I would get sooooo angry when friends or coworkers spoke of restrictions even if only about restricting themselves! VERY touchy topic for me! It helps that you acknowledged that as a trigger for many. So a few days ago I had the roux en y gastric bypass surgery and let me tell you the restrictions at this moment are intense!!! With your example given here - a lot of foods I WILL be able to have later at another time and I think that's going to help me a bunch through this mind of cravings! On full liquid diet for the first week so some of my "laters" are just next week when I can add applesauce or pureed pumpkin or cottage cheese (which right now sound as AMAZING as anything lol). Thanks for this video. I'm sharing your videos with my husband too who also struggles with binging. Appreciate you!! ❤️
You are so welcome. I get it about the triggers. Restriction can be experienced as a type of trauma for body and mind. Coming through the surgery is TOUGH. I hope you have a good recovery and I hope you are able to find some calmness and balance as you adapt ❤️❤️❤️
This was a really useful video. It really hit home for me when you talked about missing out. I really identify with that, but I need to remind myself that I’m not missing out; right now isn’t my only opportunity to eat/enjoy that food.
thank you! this was very helpful. i am trying to lose some weight for a while now (around 10 kg) and i noticed that, when i am stressing whole day about what i should or should not eat i end up eating lot more than i was planning to, but when i have more relaxed approach and i say to myself i can have foods i want if i still want them in certain amount of time (like 1-2 h) i end up eating much better. this video (kind of) confirmed, that i am on a good path. thank you! :)
I’m glad it was affirmative and helpful for you 😍
That's such a good trick to challenge the instant gratification craving and being able to delay and ask yourself in an hour or two, okay now do I really want this? That's also awesome that you're learning to able to let go of that judgmental "should/shouldn't" voice.
@@massages_for_world_peace8909 thank you! i think so too. although i never used to have a lot of thoughts that went in "should/shouldn´t" direction, i know i used to get real panicky if i wanted to eat sth. RIGHT NOW but according to my diet for the day i already decided not to eat it. it used to make me feel anxious and i used to think sooo much about what i am going to eat and how not to ruin my diet by eating certain things and while i was binging i would already think of ways how i could improve my diet tomorrow....and it was so exhausting. now where i can eat anything i want (if i really want it and in moderation because i can always have more later or tomorrow) i just feel much more relaxed and i rarely have to think too much or too long about food which is very nice, liberating feeling
This video REALLY resonates with me, thank you. I have been stuck at the - I’m not restricting, I’m choosing not to lose weight or be on a diet, but this means just constant overeating rather than the binges. Weight has plummeted which is causing me to feel lots of pain in joints etc. But I’ve just been stuck here, thinking okay what now, what next, the easy part was stopping dieting, the hard part is making healthy food choices. I’ve tried to reframe my thoughts to I am eating this healthy food to provide optimum energy which my mind and body require to function. Still struggling. But I am going to try challenge the black and white thinking now, like you said we live in a country whereby we can always go buy that food later if we want. It doesn’t have to be a yes or no. This is so helpful 😀
so helpful, thank you!
Thank you so much for this video!!
Exactly the topic I needed.
This was definitely helpful!! Thank you!
Thank you! I struggle with this so much 👍🙏💗
Sarah - this was so important to hear. Thank you!
Helpful as always
Wow, thank you. Just what I've been looking for. Super helpful. x
You might be my best Christmas gift! Tytyty❤
This was extremely helpful. You’re great at what you do
All your content makes so much sense.
This is one of most helpful video u have done!
Thank you and keep up the wonderful work you do.. You make a difference
Thank you so much! it was very helpful ❤️
You’re amaZing. Thanks!
Very helpful! 🧡
This is me!!! I can say that my binging behavior is not nearly as rampant, I feel like saying no to food = restriction. I’d really like to get to a place where I’m “primarily” relying on my hunger/fullness cues, but then another voice comes in, “but unconditional permission to eat!!!”
After first watching your videos on boredom, "sugar addiction", & then this one, many truths are uncovered regarding my relationship with food, esp. perceived lack (due to my own restrictive philosophy!) I do now feel there is hope -and a path- to eat according to my values, not frenzied reactions. Thank you SO much!
This is game changer for me thank you
You make so much sense 😊
Best thing I heard all day ! Not yes or no but think now or later. Brilliant
Just seeing your videos pop up on you tube triggers an uncomfortable urgency for food ihink because I'm threatening my binge eating "rights." But after watching them I feel more educated and in control. Thank you so much of what you say really resonates. It's a comfort knowing I'm only one of many thinking and feeling these things.
Sarah, thank you! ❤I needed this video immensely right now.. Been stuck in analysis paralysis with food today. It's really scary not kbowing what to do or how to tune into your body to figure out what you need. I am finding this especially hard in the last minth since I have been putting in effort to have a healthier relationship with food, it's difficult making food decisions precisely because of the motives for those decisions (you pointed this out perfectly) I often am stuck questioning what my true motive is. This is such an excellebt video asare all the others you have made. I have been watching your videos for about a year now and they have helped me grow immensely. You speak with such live and kindness that I genuinely feel like you are talking directly to me in the videos, like my therapist! Thank you so much Sarah!!!
So helpful!!! This is such a sticky area for me! If I want I should have it! But I can’t figure out what *want* really looks or feels like. Thank you!
Thank you! You have just pointed out the fallacies of my thinking. I can better manage my eating now.
just subscribed to your video yesterday. I have a very long history of disordered eating having experienced all of the eating disorders from my teens to present day. I had a gastric sleeve done three yrs ago and struggle to maintain swinging from one disordered thinking to another. It is emotionally and mentally exhausting as well as as time consuming. So far I have watched four of your videos and already feel very optimistic. Thankyou.
Thank you sooo much for this, Sarah ❤️❤️❤️ I feel like something finally clicked in my head 😂
I’m very happy to hear that 👏🏼👏🏼❤️
I LIKE THE IDEA THAT FOOD WILL BE THERE I DO NOT NEED TO RUSH TO EAT BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE EAT
Very helpful. Talking through your thoughts and experiences really allows me to understand restrictions and permissions in a way I find extremely valuable. Thank you for teaching this new way of living with food through your podcasts. And the transcripts are wonderful to have. I can’t always listen. The availability of reading and/ or listening at any time gives me so much support.
So glad to here that Amy ❤️❤️❤️
yay, thank you, I felt that there's something missing to making my decision.
This reliefs the tension, because I could really feel it when decision needs to be made from yes/no. will try this.
Excellent ❤
Very helpful 👍
Thank you
I don’t know how I missed this for so many years but the missing out part is exactly how I feel. Like it is not fair. I get it now.
This video helped me and comforted me😀👍🏻 thank you
Glad to hear that 🥰
I hope you realise what incredible job you are doing here. Thank you thank you thank you ❤❤❤
Thanks
I've been stuck here so many times. I put on weight. So then I diet because I feel so desperate. And then I binge and overeat for months. I calm down and stop bingeing, but I still overeat.
I couldn't find the answer to this in any of the IE resources.
But THIS is the video I needed! Thank you!
This was really helpful to me, I will definitely ask myself if I want that chocolate biscuit now or another day. Thank you 🥰 xx
Sarah, I post this comment on your latest video so that you can see it, even if it's not directly related to this video. I just want to say THANK YOU : I did the RALIC method a couple of hours ago, just at the beginning of a binge. When I heard me speaking loud, I just realised what I was doing. Threw everything into the bin, put my shoes on and placed the "bin bag" (hope you understand, I'm not english) into the garbage bin. Came back to my appartment, washed my hands...and was clear. Binge ? No, over. THANK YOU🤗🤗🤗
Isn't her method such a cool tool? So wonderful that you freaking changed your path and empowered yourself to make a different decision! If you're comfortable sharing, what were some of your beliefs that you realized you had at that time you were having the urge to binge?
@@massages_for_world_peace8909 yes her method (and her vids) are life changers ! !
About the beliefs at the beginning of the binge : I felt very calm when I opened the binge food packaging, and told me "I'll have just one, it's ok, I can put it aside after one" . Then I ate one and felt very "impatient" to have another one, thinking "ok I shut down the whole box" , then "ok I know I'll be sick after that" and began to feel a bit uncomfortable with that thought, but I just felt as if I HAD TO demolish the whole box. And, right after that, I told myself "girl, RALIC method" , and speaking out loud in my kitchen, as if I was a scenarist describing the scene, made me feel conscious/aware of the silliness (and the sadness🙄) of the situation. Boom, open the bin, thew everything in it, wondered a couple of seconds if I couldn't take it back ...then, NO, put the shoes on and get rid of the whole bin. Felt quite proud of myself when I came back ! It's a small win, but it's worth clebrating, and, most important, being grateful to Sarah fo this win 😀
That’s amazing! Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad you had that experience ❤️ (and I use the word ‘bin bag’ too ☺️)
Your video was very helpful. Thank you so much. I have a question. After giving myself permission to eat all kinds of food, I see that I always opt for junk or tastier food rather than healthy options like fruits or nuts. Is this a natural part of healing?
Do you maybe have a print out or summary of the relic method that I could keep at hand when I need it? I listened to you read your book (it was beautifully done!! Thanks so so so much !) and was wondering if I could find it in like a cheat sheet ☺️❤️
I think I do have one. I’ll see if I can find it. Message me via my website www.the bingeeatingtherapist.com and I’ll send it over
How long does it take to achieve the mindset and be able to reason like in your example?
what do you do when you're on medication that causes hunger and weight gain AND you have to stay on those medications?
I give myself permission to have something naughty ( not a binge) on a Tuesday and Saturday night.
I’m not sure if anyone will see this but everyday I go to my grandad and I get-sweets and ice cream everyday and After my dinner I am full but I can’t not eat the food when it’s sitting out for me it’s got the point where I’m over weight now and I can’t stop , any advice??
I struggle with saying no to food, specifically FREE food. For me, a similar incident with the cookies would definitely lead me to eating more than I might actually want, not because I haven't given myself permission to eat sweets, but because if I eat them NOW, I won't have to pay, but if I want them LATER, I will.
🙏🏻💕
Branching off of this, has anyone had experience with knowing, for example "I can go down the road and get some" but having this resistance in yourself of "but that's extra effort and right now is the easiest way to have them." Cos that's where I kind of struggle.
Hi Sarah, do have run clinics in person at all? Many thanks Cilla
I do. I have a binge eating 8 week therapy group starting on 16th May and there are a couple of spaces still available. Apply here ➡️ thebingeeatingtherapist.com/group-therapy/
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Hi Sarah
I filled out your form for this course on your Instagram last night, I’d like to book the Weds sessions.
Look forward to hearing from you
Cilla
If my friend brought mint chocolate fingers I’d be fine, I hate mint chocolate 😂
But in all seriousness, such a great, informative video. As all of yours are.
I have so many notes that I’ve made watching your videos. If anything, that’s what I’ve been binging recently 😂
Much love and respect for your time, effort and transparency
Has anybody used mindfulness and meditation to help with eating? i would be interested to hear how 1 hour of deep breathing and thinking would help....
Do see clients? Do you have a practice? Thanks
Yes I do. I don’t currently have any spaces for individual clients, but I am running a Connect and Recover group this Sunday if this is something that might interest you. You can sign up for this directly on the website: thebingeeatingtherapist.com/connect-recover-groups/
Or you may wish to consider a group and you can find out more and apply here. thebingeeatingtherapist.com/group-therapy/
The more I eat sugar the more I eat sugar there is an addictive quality in how it hits our brain so this is something I cannot afford to introduce
But I want to eat it now and later, and tomorrow, and the next day and the next! Once I start I can't stop - saying yes you can have it later never works for me. I've gone out in the pouring rain at 9.45pm in my wellies with a coat over my nightdress to get to the corner shop before it closed at 10pm and nearly bought up the whole shop after thinking - I'll have it later if I still want it! You can't fool an addicted brain like that. Doesn't work on alcoholics or drug addicts and doesn't work on foodaholics.
666 likes. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.
🤣
Please don’t use pictures of donuts on your channel.
May I ask why you’d prefer me not to? I’m genuinely interested.
Not helpful 👎 What you’re saying about reducing tension and being aware of your stress when making an eat or not eat decision is fine and good. However, I do not find your advice helpful to postpone eating something for a later time. You’re probably suggesting this technique to get out of scarcity and to tell oneself that this particular food is available anytime and you can just have it later. But I ask you: then why not just say yes and EAT THE FOOD? I was debating whether to eat dinner yesterday because I had allowed myself to have a burger and fries for lunch. The question is not should I eat now or later tomorrow morning and postpone my dinner for breakfast. Your suggestion to postpone only promotes starvation and famine, mental and physical. The answer to eat or not eat chips, chocolate, pizza, whatever should always be YES and should not be questioned when one is in energy deficit and in a restriction/binge cycle. You crave it = you eat it ❣️ only then will your body trust you that there is no famine. Your body cannot comprehend “you’ll get to eat this later, we are just postponing.” Your body will know you are time restricting as our bodies do not understand mental games such as your advice to postpone.
I would hope people did not use my words to skip meals or eat in a deficit, that is not my intention at all and perhaps I should’ve made this clearer in the video. I appreciate you taking the time to write out your thoughts and I’m always up for hearing alternate views. I hope you are too.
It is the brain that regulates our eating not the body. The brain constantly monitors the body and has to be able to ‘read’ it’s signals. This means it has to become thought in order for us to decide to eat so our psychology around food is incredibly important.
For some people eating whatever they are craving works wonders. Their brains self regulate and their eating balances out. I love this when it happens for people. It tends to be that the majority of people for whom this works are in smaller bodies to begin with, but this is not a hard and fast rule by any means.
For some people the bingeing/compulsive eating is NOT just about restriction. Grilo (2000) found that one third of people who struggled with binge eating did not restrict prior to developing these behaviours.
Compulsive/Binge eating can be down to habit, brain chemistry, hormones, trauma, childhood patterns, emotional coping and all of this won’t be addressed with just-say-yes every time you fancy a food. That said, for many people, it’s important to at least go through a stage of this to make peace with food and reassure themselves mentally/physically/emotionally that food is available.
The advice offered is not for people with restrictive eating disorders and it’s not to ‘postpone’ eating, but to remember you CAN have it later. In a compulsive urge that can enable a free choice. The whole meaning of compulsion is that it doesn’t feel like it’s you making the choice. So in order for it to feel like a choice yes AND no need to be viable options (assuming you are not restricting, this will catch up with you if you are vulnerable to bingeing).
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist thanks for your reply. I am aware you were not suggesting to postpone meals. However, after a binge the question of to eat or not to eat out of guilt is a looming question for many. You say the advice is not for people with restrictive eating disorders. However, binge eating is so often followed with restriction. The body has its own reasons for binging. The binge is normal. The binge is necessary for survival. It is our restriction to stop the binges by “postponing” that’s incorrect. I ask again: why postpone and tell oneself you can have it later❓Why not just eat whatever you’re craving NOW⁉️ I hear fear of weight gain. The brain regulates our eating NO MATTER what SIZE our bodies are. The urge to eat no matter what size body our beautiful souls are in is not a compulsive urge…. It’s our body fighting for our survival. If someone on the other hand has a compulsion to binge (and surprisingly never restricts) you do not help this person recover from OCD by giving them more rules of postponing. One should break the rules and eat the fear foods instead of postponing.
@@anigrace3073 I see recovery as not saying no to food because you can't say yes (restriction) and also not saying yes to food because you can't say no (compulsion). I don't think I ever use the word 'postponing'. I'm saying have it now or not-now; you decide. Do you think I'm saying people should always choose not now and wait? I am not and do not say that either and if you're suggesting that you should always eat something when you have an impulse is another rule. Are you saying that if it's 6pm and I want to eat a sandwich, but dinner is at 7pm that I should always say yes to the sandwich?
I (and many people I have worked with) have had a problem with using food to numb. Permission is an important part of reducing compulsion, but it doesn't always get rid of it completely when bingeing has become habitual or triggered by emotional states. So for me, saying yes every time I want to eat something means I could fall into unconsciousness with food.
When you make a statement that our brains regulate our eating as long as we don't restrict, I'm not able to agree with this statement. For some people this works beautifully, but not for everyone. Do you have any research you can refer to that backs up this statement? I would genuinely love to read it if so.
Carlos (2000) from Yale found that with two thirds of people with BED their bingeing is preceded by a diet/restriction, but in a third of people it wasn't. Restriction is not the only cause of compulsive eating and to say that it is does a disservice to those with a different experience.