POWER PHRASES to END Sexist Comments LIKE A BOSS
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- Опубликовано: 16 авг 2024
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3 POWER PHRASES for Turning sexist comments and insults into opportunities when you learn How to Respond to Sexist Comments in the Workplace using these power phrases at work.
Most women in the workplace have unfortunately been on the receiving end of insulting and belittling comments from male colleagues. #communicationskillstraining #toxicworkplace #professionalcommunicationtrainingonline
But enough is enough.
It's time to stand up and assert your power with these power phrases in response to insults coming from men who think they can get away with saying things like, "You should smile more."
By using the phrases you'll learn in this video confidently, women can shut down disrespectful behavior and take control of the situation. Join us in this empowering video where you'll learn exactly what to say at work and get tips on how to use these phrases effectively.
I hope this helps anyone who needs it become more of a strong, successful woman at work.
𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗩𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗢:
Have you had enough of men saying sexist things at work that are intended to put you in your place?
In this video, you'll learn how to use power phrases to shut down chauvinistic, rude, insulting comments or questions so you can stay focused on your goals.
This video is packed with tips that will help you stay confident and in control, no matter what kind of sexist thing people say to you.
𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀:
0:00 Intro
0:04 How to Respond to "Don't get hysterical" using power phrases at work
3:09 How to Respond to a man when he tells you that "You're so bossy"
4:30 How to Respond to "You should smile more" when a man says this to you at work
𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗞𝗶𝘁 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲:
www.danoconnor...
𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲:
goo.gl/VJdWKi
𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗼𝘀:
𝟯 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝗵𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗥𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 - • The most DEVASTATINGLY...
𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗵𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 - • power phrases for toxi...
𝟯 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗵𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 - • 3 Power phrases for di...
𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁:
𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗻: / danoconnortraining
𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲: goo.gl/VJdWKi
𝗧𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿: / evslayer
𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸: / communicationtraining
𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺: / dandanhesyourman
𝗪𝗲𝗯𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲/𝗕𝗹𝗼𝗴: www.danoconnor...
𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗗𝗮𝗻:
Internationally acclaimed author, trainer and keynote speaker Dan O'Connor has been transforming the lives of millions through communication training for over 20 years. As a former customer service leader of Equitable Financial, JCPenney and Wells Fargo, Dan leverages his extensive experience and tactical verbal patterns to give people the words to help project polished, competent and confident images in all communication settings - professionally or personally. His powerful training includes teaching scripts, step-by-step communication strategies, danger and power phrase lists, and more. 
Хобби
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“You’re obsessed” Said whenever a woman shows interest in something that’s not approved of by the person calling them “obsessed”
That's a great one.
EXACTLY!!! , AMEN Thank you!!!😊
Hmm..
Sounds familiar when a "man " was intimidated by my education. , knowledge!!
🙄🙄🙄
@@TreasureForeverOfficial Thank you!!! ❤️🙂
Anytime I’m interested in anything longer than 3 days, I’m “obsessed” with it.
Hubby should stfu before I become obsessed with something that costs a ton of $$! I’LL SHOW YOU OBSESSED.
Big 💜 to Dan, always.
I've heard this too. I flip it around. I appreciate you recognizing my commitment to myself and what works for me.
my manager put in my yearly review that I was 'abrasive'. I pointed out that this is the kind of criticism only levelled at women, and is a deeply sexist response to an assertive woman who behaves in the same way as the men around her, and he just doubled down. He's previously told me (a 47 year old professional with over 20 years of experience in my field) to soften my tone and appear more helpful. It's outright sexism and would never be said to a man of my age and experience. When I pushed him to cite an example of me being abrasive, he couldn't produce a single one. He just doesn't like me or the fact I'm older than him and have more experience than him. Notably, he responds very favorably to my colleague, also a woman of the same age, who simpers and giggles at him.
I am retired, but one of my last jobs was like this. The big boss one day pulled me into his office, with 2 other men sitting there (including my immediate supervisor) and railed on me that I wasn't keeping up with my work. I tried to say something, but he said, "you're here to listen, not to talk" so I waited until he asked me why the filing was not done. I replied, "that's odd, I don't have any filing to do." So he marched me over to my desk where I showed him my EMPTY filing basket. I knew that my supervisor had an overflowing inbasket on his desk in his office. I asked him, is it possible that the items you're looking for are on your desk? You guessed it. Even though the items were ON HIS DESK, I was somehow blamed for it. It was a convoluted, weird experience.
OK. So that's how they generally treated me, an experienced professional woman in her mid 40's. But there was this 23 year-old gal in the office who had almost no work to do at all. They gave her an office and a title and she just swaned around, making eyes at the men, who followed her around practically drooling. She was a petitle little thing who would bat her eyelashes. It was revolting. I was doing all her work because she was completely incompetent.
I have so many stories. You are not alone, sister!
Your experience is not unique, unfortunately despite it is 2023 not 1923. Makes me wonder when robots start to become more prevalent and we see them doing more work, are the creators of the robots going to create female looking robots to do menial tasks and male looking robots to do skilled work?
@@SilverCottage I empathize. But you should not have done any, much less "all her work": each player is hired to fully play their own position, and if she could or would not play key parts of hers, let the bosses feel the adverse consequences to the business (and so, bad performance evaluations of them) of her non- or misfeasances.
Well are you abrasive? I don’t know your full story or how your boss is but some women are abrasive just as men can be. Calling someone that doesn’t automatically equate to sexism. And it’s not only directed at females. Some people are abrasive but i have personally witnessed quite a few abrasive women in my life. It’s possible your boss might acting sexist, idk them personally so can’t say but it also seems to me that you might possibly be having a hard time handling criticism. Whatever the case you don’t have to agree or disagree with them. But always be willing to improve yourself regardless.
If someone calls me bossy, I just say thank you, and move on. It's usually enough to stop them dead in their tracks. They just don't expect that. It's the same when my ex called me a b * t c h one too many - I looked him straight in the eyes and smiled and said "thank you, and I'm good at it huh?" And I turned around and walked off. I'd never seen that man's jaw hit the ground so fast. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. I know I chuckled as I walked off. Hey, I just realized I had the ultimate mic drop. Anyway, I thought it was so funny and it had been so long since I thought of it and this reminded me.
We need more of these for working women! Im not the type to snap back so I'm here to learn more to shutdown unwanted drama
More are coming :)
When out to lunch with coworkers in a restaurant, I casually said that the service was kind of slow today. One of the men said "Ok KAREN" and rolled his eyes. I was furious but couldn't think of what to say, so I said nothing
How about "That's a passive-aggressive comment. Do you have something to say to me?" Name-calling doesn't even belong on a child's playground. I guess the service will be slow only when that man deems it to be slow. I can understand your anger, Jody.
"OK, Kevin!"😂
On the "you should smile more"
Every day I had gotten this from a coworker who loved to bug me and wanted to see how far he could push me. I was always calm and quiet and one day I kept my eyes the same, gave him a big toothy horrifyingly psychotic smile and said "like this? Do you wish to see this every morning? Or should I do this at your car window while you're about to leave from work?" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 He never asked me to smile again. He left me alone and never harassed me from that point on. I should have done that sooner.
Don’t forget “calm down”. For the love of god, people, even if someone needs to calm down, DO NOT SAY CALM DOWN.
“I suggest you refrain from being within my arm’s reach”
It is condescending when a gentleman tells me that perhaps I should re-examine my beliefs simply because I disagree with him on a political topic. Thank you for the information you share with us! I really find it to be helpful in dealing with others in an assertive but respectful manner.
I love the way you just cut to the chase. You make everything so clear cut and incisively show how to manage situations . Thank you.
I appreciate your comment, mc and am happy to help.
“You should smile” Ugh!!! If only I had a dollar for every time a man said that to me. Wish I knew how to respond to it 30 years ago. Next man who says it to me won’t even know what hit him. Thank you!
I love the " maybe your emotions are your logic " .
I LOVE IT !!! 😊😊
No, duh. Everyone’s emotions are their logic. Some of us are trying to learn to express our emotions in a tactical and loving way
The other side of my TRIGGERS...
Bossy is my middle name.. that is what women do.. we make order out of chaos... I suggest you refrain from telling me that I am not allowed to DELIGATE duties as this is what I get paid to do...
Sweetheart will never be something I display for you EVER... So I suggest you keep that word out of your mouth when you are talking to me rather than characterize me as something I clearly am not.
Smiling is for Olympics and Beauty contests, neither of which I have entered. If my emotions are making you uncomfortable, I suggest you take a moment in the bathroom to collect your thoughts and good nature as the rest of us and refrain from labeling what you are perceiving to be negative. Your uncomfortable feelings are no ones business but your own. I suggest you keep them to yourself from now on...
What do ya say D -... I used suggest and refrain... 😬
I say you ought to be working for me. GREAT RESPONSES.
@@TheWizardOfWords let me know where i can submit my resume
Word wizard, I need the right words for a malignant narcassist (family member), who does the silent treatment for weeks at a time then decides to say hi one day. I'm holding back the wind of my voice so I don't look or sound out of control.
Is this a mother, father, sister, nephew--who?
One more!
Said to a make co-worker “ excuse me, I’m not feeling well today, you know, I have one of those migraines that comes with a girl time”. The angry response was “ you should get used to that”. My response se was to got into graphic detail of my situation. Once finished, I asked if he could deal with that. He was horrified and left the room.
Ty
A😊
Excellent, in my opinion, Anni :)
As a female Lead person I hate when my male co-workers call me sweetheart... I'm not your Sweetheart! They go from one extreme to the other...how can I be both? 🤦🤷
You give a nice corporate world version, but there are even more out in the wild. I was accused of "barking orders" by a guy who followed me halfway around the park path (about 1/3rd of a mile) yelling at me that he was going to report me for said orders. The "barking orders" event he witnessed? Me telling a creep to F off who'd been harassing me at the same park for four months while walking my dogs and who had graduated to filming me while he followed and stalked me. We can't even self-protect/defend it's too aggressive.
I rewound to keep practicing “I suggest you refrain from characterizing my emotions.”
- writing it now helps, too. Thank you!
Can you teach us how to respond to “weaponized incompetence”? It can happen with anyone but at work and in the home there are men who think it’s our job to do “women’s work” that is not valued but necessary (like administrative or domestic labor) for them even though it’s part of their job and not ours. Or when they slack and expect you to do their job for them.
Like when you call them out on it they play dumb, like “oh idk how to load a dishwasher” (at home) or “you’re just so much better at note taking”. We’re not better, they just don’t want to do it.
Coming from the oil and gas industry as a woman I was constantly told I wasn't technical enough or qualified to be in sales while any guy off the street was put in above me. I finally left, and those guys never sold a dime, they'd change them out every couple of years.
I'm a Lead person and of course I work with men daily needless to say I often get resistants from them because they don't want a woman to tell them anything especially what to do even though I am very qualified to do my job after 26 years of service. I told one co-worker to assist another in the parking lot to point parents where to park. Ha said he couldn't do it because he had on a black tee-shirt and he was too hot. Long story short he got pissed off and threw his work keys at me and quit! On his way out the door he told my co-worker I was the, "c" word! Unfortunately I get called that occasionally but they would never dream of calling a male boss that word! I try to treat my co-workers like I would want to be treated.. doesn't work!
Ramona, don't aim to treat people the way you want to be treated. Aim to treat them as THEY want to be treated. Sometimes it's a big difference.
I was in online meeting at work, about 4 of us. The HR senior manager asked me if im okay but in a shady way. I responded with "just call me SpongeBob cuz I'm just soaking it all in"..they laughed and so did I but I was pissed. What if I wasn't, am I meant to discuss my feelings in a meeting like wtf 😣. She did it again..and I just said this is my face🤣🤣🤣. Next time I left my camera off🤣🤣🤣
Aggravating Comment: "I realize that you may be having difficulties in your personal life" -- i.e. that is why you're angry, assertive, direct etc.
What is your advice, Dan?
😁
I'd make this simple. "I don't bring my personal life into the office, and I'd ask that you never bring my personal life into the office, either. Are we clear on that?"
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for me, its easier to handle insults from men. i already say similar phrases to these suggestions.
im not good at handling snaky insults. and those tend to come from women, and some men. theyre like passive aggressive insults that sound normal to everyone else. i guess its called micro-aggressions. if i address it, they go into gaslight mode and people think im instigating.
Dan, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I have had past issues *maintaining* my professionalism in professional settings and have used your tactical communication techniques w/ much success! Your tactical training also helps to align my communication in *ALL* settings when people cross boundaries. Thank you
CeCe, I appreciate the super thanks and also your kind words regarding how my training has helped you. I am blessed to have been able to help you on your communication journey :)
" i understand you nay not be use to hearing someone assertive " .
EXACTLY!!
PEOPLE that want to you to be okay with their disrespect.
I suggest you refrain to not " characterize me " ..
"When telling me to blank... )
Ex. Telling a woman to smile more...
SUCH EPIC POWER PHRASES..
👏👏 😃 😼✅️👍
Thanks for speaking up and actually using word sexist. In is easier for men to speak for women because there is more backlash and risk for women to speak up.
One family member (that I dont think is sexist) told me that I sound neurotic when I tried to explain a situation that was sexist and quite bad from one of my siblings towards me and other people in family. I told him what you said in first point.. I actually do think it was hard for him to digest the information so he would rather say I was overreacting.
I told my mom that she was bossy...that didn't go well...
I love when people are happy but when it is true smile, when people smile with no reason that is fake and disturbing.
Women do have mental problem but because 90% of them were mistreated by society and husbands: controlled, disrespected, overworked! It didn't come from their female parts.
People are so fu*** cruel!!
Perfect timing on this video. Love it! Thank you! ❤
You're so welcome!
Your so fun! I love your energy, suggestions and clear focus you give on creating solutions in the work place or others. Thank you for being a positive light! We don’t have to stoop to others level. ❤️✨
Omg I love you. I'll listen and take notes on this one. Thank you. I'm the only woman at my job and its not my co workers I would use these phrases on but only customers.
Totally! “Boy! That must be really hard for you. You’re so smart and not being able to figure out what you’re doing must be really frustrating”. Then the boss leaves the room.
I had to bring up that moment to him the next day and how it stopped me from being able to move forward and fight my way
Out of the wet paper bag I found myself in. I did figure it out.
I wish I was able to subscribe to your channel. You are totally worth it. I think I am lucky to have found you.
Carry on!
God bless you!!!!
I’m going to play this for my daughter.
I have been told by male coworkers to wear makeup or dresses at work. Ewww. 🤢
Well then THIS VIDEO'S FOR YOU, SSA.
Tell them you will after they do.
You’re such a badass. Yes I labeled you. Love your videos.
I'll take that label :).
The problem with the last one is most men lose their shit when you use it because they act like women only exist for their pleasure. Like because you are female you owe them something. Especially in a retail environment. Danger.
You have to point out to men how WRONG THEY ARE when they treat you in an objectifying manner. You needn't tolerate that--ever.
"I suggest you refrain from characterizing my emotions." Ooooh. PERFECT...but I am so tempted to say "MIScharacterizing"! LOL. I know. I know.Don't do that. I appreciate you but am a disabled lady living on social security. I will try to start giving you something next month. I've spent everything for the time being. I will schedule you for May. I'll join the chanel at the student level. I can swing that and am happy to show my appreciation.
Constant interruption and not letting speak or responding with irritated tone is what I see in my current workplace. How to fix this issue.Its very normal in meeting if some male is pressing his point of view aggressively but If a female puts her view point with logic and straight tone is stopped for being rude.
“Are you tired? You seem tired. Like you look really tired” was told this by a younger male supervisor at my new very taxing very tiring job in Customer Service. I quit the next work day, because if I’m expected to look fresh all day in addition to doing outside work I clearly won’t be a good employee for long. I enjoy how short staffed they are going to be meanwhile I have over 20 years experience in customer service and know I can find something easier
Omigod YES, the "you look tired," as though they are saying it out of concern. I'm happy you left for higher ground, mzlww.
Oh but then when you reply with assertion...they might say " It was a joke, geez you take things too personally, why are you all upset with smiling? .".....Sometime there are " Forever Dumb-Dumbs" out there.
My time is valuable, shared with people I value. I look those " Forever Dumb-Dumbs" in the eye & tell them their shoes are pointing in the wrong direction. Not wanted on the voyage. Making better choices, improving mylife. Thankyou your videos are great! 💥👍🏻😎
What do I say if I’m told I’m selfish because I choose not to have children
Omigod, where do I begin? Selfish for not having children? I believe the best response is "You are asking about a private family matter that I would discuss only with my husband. I will not be discussing it with you." I don't care if it is your mother saying this. NO ONE should be saying such a foolish thing to you and no one deserves a response. There is nothing either selfish or unselfish in the decision to have children. Don't get me started. :) :) :)
Thank you Wizard of Words , once again you’ve nailed it 🎉 Also love and impressed with your very quick reply to my question. I’m a Dental Hygienist and I really try to empathise with my patients but sometimes some people try to cross the line and it’s difficult to remain professional with rude comments or personal questions about my life.
It’s so annoying when men tell me to smile.
And it's not flattering or cute.
I LOVE you, Dan. Thank you SO much for this awesome information! ♥♥♥
Happy to help!
Thank you for doing this! You are the best! -Emmy Jane
Yesss the video we needed, thank you!
My favourite comment recently from my daughter's controlling father in law is, "I like to make sure the grandkids get time with all of the grandparents".
When we show up to family things, his daughters tend to be holding my grandbabies and won't give them to me unless my daughter takes them for "a change" and then gives them to me. When father in law sees I have them, it's a lot of condescending "aw look at grandma with the grandkid, that's cute, I like to make sure the grandkids get time with all of the grandparents." Uh huh. I don't know why he does that or what response he wants from me, acts like he's done me a favour but hasn't. I'd love a good response to set him down, but "good job you" doesn't quite fit. Anything else I can think of sounds like I am grateful for his scraps. Bleh.
I wish Dan was my therapist
Gigi, I can't be your therapist, but I'll do my best to give you the words :)
I love how confident you sound and talk
Thank you for your time 🙂💜
You are so welcome
I have Mag00 glasses, but don't wear often since I have 55 others to wear! You Wear them well..mine are kinda heavy😆
Jeeze, glad I'm retired. I've heard it all, I guess it depends on the occupation. Dangerous occupations, you will get razzed by the the guys every now and then. Consider it acceptance when they can count on you out there in the field. I'm VERY good at what I do, and it shows very quickly. Shuts them up fast. I really don't have to say much.
I suppose the worst garbage came from rookies and new management. Everybody else was good.
"You should smile more."
"Nobody's paying me to smile!"🤣
I need to hire you (specifically in June) I have only 2x in the 17 yrs, stopped (the narc) dad of my son. Yah, not good, I'm use to being caught of guard as he is COMPLETELY different from me. If I hadn't been through this I might not understand the evil out there. I'm sure it will be me against him & his family at my (our ) sons graduation.....grrr
Another great, helpful video. Thanks very much for this Dan. X
My pleasure!
I was just told by my manager that "you need to be more vulnerable" and to "stop speaking in group meetings". Nice, since I am on an all male team in a highly competitive field, and nearly always speak only when someone specifically asks me a question. Women are seen as children, not reeeeally a person who is there to do the job. Token objects, existing only to accomplish some percentage of females required to show they are 'diverse in hiring'. Anyone know sign language or hieroglyphics? Maybe those would be good to try next, as it is also important to know that I am the only one on "His team" that is mandated to attend and participate in all of "his meetings". Maybe that really means I am to fetch coffee and donuts for "the men" during their meetings. Yeah, that's probably it. I am into healthy foods, so maybe I will bring them a big ole tray of celery and baby carrots- no dip necessary as the room already has plenty of dips in it.
😂. No dips necessary :)
So much love and light vibrations from me to you Dan...thanks for all you do.
You're welcome, 3C.
Dan, if My little biz ever gets big enough to have a staff, I’m bringing you in regularly in some form or another to help smooth any rough edges.
Meanwhile, practicing your tactical communication in my household.
The 2 boys outgrowing toddlerhood and fighting it are on notice.
Good times are sure to be had: better ones ;o)
🙏
Thank you!!!!!!
This was excellent! Thank you so much!
You're welcome!
"I'm just not built that way "
Love the facial expressions part! ❤
Oh the "change ur face so it makes me happy..." that old chestnut
What about sexism masquerading as compliments? "My lovely assistant here" rather than "my competent RN with 13 years experience". I didn't go to nursing school to decorate the operating room, and I don't feel comfortable being called lovely in my workplace role, but always freeze up when the Dr. says this. Pretty sure the response would be "jeez take a compliment" or "just trying to be nice". Help??
Check out other videos--we've covered the topic a few times--
@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks! I've seen countless of your videos but can't seem to find the ones that target this particular flavor. I'll keep looking. Much appreciation for you and your work!
I suggest you refrain from characterising my emotions! 😂❤ you Really Rock thank you
This is SOOO good Dan!! I’m gonna pass out. I can’t imagine your other courses😜😜
What should I say if people ask how much do I earn or if they question how much they have to pay for the service I provide, I’m a Dental Hygienist
Some people like to think their particular appointment is paying for your "indulgent" $$$vacation, or your $$$nice car. You could rather put it in terms that it is paying for your gasoline, or your annual family supply of toilet paper. Really it's none of their business. They should be aware of the price long before they are sitting in your dental chair, trying to make you feel guilty.
Thank you, exactly. I’m providing a service and I always try to go give my best to each individual in this caring profession. Prices and dental fees are set by the establishment I’m working for , but sometimes I get the backlash from unhappy patients. As you say , they know how much the appointment will cost so why question it with me ? It just makes it very hard to gain someone’s trust to change their dental behaviour when in the back of their mind they are thinking this appointment is expensive. I think talking this through I’ve realised I should advise these patients to consider their time with me as an investment.
Jayney is right on. I would say simply that your services are included in the price paid for your dental work. If they press it, I would say that your salary is a private matter--of course. You might smile as you say that. A simple "Like most people, I consider my salary a private matter. I'm sure you understand."
Thank you, I will do this in future. Rightly or wrongly in the past I have answered the question about my salary with the question “ Why do you ask ? “ or “ How much do you earn “ all with a smile, but now during the pandemic I can only smile with my eyes !
A shot in the arm is a new video from Dan O’Connor. Thank you sir!
You are welcome, and look for more :)
I have a question. What do I say to someone who, out of nowhere and apropos of NOTHING in conversation just lays it on me and says, "I don't think you should say anything online because it just hurts your feelings when people respond in a nasty way." When I tell her I don't agree because "I believe in myself and what I bring to the table," she gets furious and INSISTS that she's right and that I should just shut up online and not express any opinions. We're talking about Facebook here, but this conversation is in person with someone I know IRL.
First of all - my feelings are not hurt. That's a mischaracterization. I DO get puzzled when people can't have a simple conversation without resorting to ad hominem. I will say that such and such a person has done such andn such a thing, and I attach the news article, and someone will dispute the article without any facts to prove their point, and when I offer to continue the conversation when they DO have some facts, they will immediately start calling me names and telling me what I think or what my motives are, and it's all slander. Right now, I just block these people because these are not the kind of conversations I want to have. But my friends are generally much more informed and helpful, and I get a lot out of my interaction with them.
The backstory is that I may have posted a news article about, say, Donald Trump or some Republicans doing some shenanigans. I am careful not to say anything about it that I have not researched. I post the item if I think it is important, it needs to be said, and I want to pass along factual information that people on Facebook can use. (Some of my friends are bloggers and writers.) I also may want to DISCUSS it with people to get their take on certain aspects, but this real life friend of mine has opinions that differ from mine and she gets really angry when reminded of them, which I work hard not to do. But she is cramping my style because I want to post my items for 'public" so more people can see and intereact and the conversation can be less insular, but when I do that, this friend who is important in my life just gets furious and freaks out. What to do?
Calm down…is the comment that pushes my rage button.
i have "calm down" classified as a danger phrase. You might respond with "Let's stick to the issues rather than assessing my temperature."
@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you! You and your content are great...smart, sassy and spot on. Love your channel, thank you for the reply.
The manager of my apartment said I'm paranoid I said that's a little strong I'm just asking what the rules are
How about any comment when I see something isn’t right a price or something at home etc. it’s always that I am fussy or negative even if I’m laying down my boundaries. It’s like I’m not allowed to verbalize anything unless I ignore a problem or something that needs attention. I really don’t think I’m negative. At work every one says I am flexible and positive. But at home I get labeled negative 🤷🏻♀️
Christi, you'll just have to shape them up at home.
Thank you! This helps💕
Your cracking me up. Do you know what they did for women with Hysteria after that? I don't think I can say on here. You will have to look it up.
So good!
Perfect Timing As ALWAYS.. !!!
I get notification from you tube. ❤😊😊
This one, especially, should get one zillion views. ❤
Thanks!
Many thanks, 3C :)
WOW! Good stuff here ❤️
“So much campaigning” when I am suggesting to streamline procedures.
You Know the Content is GOOD EYEN YOU " LIKE " IT before Even SEEEING IT...
😼😃👏👏👏👏
Yes!
I have some content for you! One. You remind me of my wife when she says blank two. I know what it’s like to be a woman in our profession three. I have a daughter, your age 4. Why don’t we have a men’s history month? Go!
Stay tuned; I'll be handling those before you know it. Pure gold.
🌬️✨🤯 Love it💖 🗽🇺🇸 Brooklyn NY
When I say Here's the facts or Here's the science behind this...that seems to work.
Yes--data-driven.
I loooove #3!!!!
1. turn your camera off as facial expressions on zoom are inappropriate (i scrunched my nose and brows when i heard a random idea). 2. recently called "tech specialist" at work while finishing my engineering degree because I contributed more ideas than code this project 3. had every one of my slides redone, rewritten, not a zero original word before presentation, "too wordy" but was replaced with chatgpt nonsense verbiage.
Love it!
I was surprised when my direct mentioned that a female colleague of mine (on a different team), reacted a certain way because she’s pregnant. Um…not at all ok.
@thewizardofwords Any tips for mansplaining?
I’m an advanced level mountain biker (and coach), but I still get mansplained by men who are newer to the sport than me. We don’t really know each other. The judgment is purely surface level because I’m a woman (they’ve never seen me ride).
This year it would be great to have a phrase that I can use to express that this is not my first rodeo… I know how to ride a bike, how to plan a good MTB road trip, how to set up my bike, etc.
Last year I found myself being silent and nodding my head, or the odd time, snapping at them.
"I know you mean well and are trying to be helpful. Perhaps you didn't know that I am an advanced level mountain biker and coach. If you need any tips, just ask."
@@TheWizardOfWords oh that’s pretty good. Thanks!
QUESTION: What do you do about WOMEN who try to slap you down and prevent you from expressing anything on which one IS knowledgeable? WOMEN very often can't stand it if another woman behaves with confidence (not arrogance - not bossyness.) I know SO MANY PEOPLE who simply do not research before forming opinions and slamming others with those opinions, BUT when faced with documents, research, whatever indisputable evidence the other person has, they say things like "you think you know everything." or "You think you are always right."
Sometimes I will say, in response to the latter, "Nobody expresses an opinion that they think is wrong." But it just enrages them. Sometimes I point out that what they have said is one of the fallacies of classical logic, but they don't even know what that MEANS because of course they haven't studied classical logic and the only people with whom that would work, I suppose, are OTHER people who have likewise studied it and they are less likely to MAKE those errors. What would be a better thing to say? I am tired of being GASLIGHTED by bossy women who try to force their opinions on me, and then when I respond, they gaslight me and tell me I'm being bossy. When we were kids, we'd say, "I know you are, but what am I?" What does a grownup say?
Check out my videos on how to handle gaslighting.
I love this!!!!
Women are always told their emotional, no matter what they say or act or their hormonal.
Yes, and they have to spotlight those comments. They're demeaning and intended to be demeaning.
I just found out I have Autism. And I suck at communicating. What can you do to help me and how long will it take? (Aporox. for normal person will work.
ruclips.net/video/aEy7dGdSH_4/видео.html
You're so bossy.
Me: Yup. It's because my ideas are better.🙂
What words do you have for rude female on female nastiness? I work with women and it's terrible.
Please give some examples, Jennifer.
I love you😂😂❤❤❤
And yes it's a male, so offensive I'll soon be saying was a male
Oh yeah! Yep! Jokes Re women when I am the only woman in the room is offensive and impolite. My response is to say, as you have recommended “his name, his name, is name”! You invited me over for dinner! I’ve had a long 10.5 hour work day. I was looking forward to and enjoyable dinner with you. Instead of enjoyment, I find myself in a room with your men friends making jokes about women. I’m the only woman in the room. If I was black and y’all were making black jokes, again, your jokes leave me out of the crowd in the room. I am offended that I am the butt of your jokes. So, I’m leaving now to go where I am more accepted”. The response is usually “ oh! Do t leave! We are just joking”. “ Yes, you are joking with the only woman in the room being the point of the jokes”. Now, I have a sailor mouth and I usually use that language to emphasize my ire. I say “ I would have liked to spend a living evening g with you, but I find instead that you and your friends don’t care about that. I enjoy your company when you have polite behavior. I’ll call you when I get home so you know I am safe. My reaction to your rudeness is a direct consequence to your actions. Perhaps next time we all meet, you will take that into consideration”. Broken record with multiple expressions of dislike.
My friend continues to put people into categories and I continue to leave the room or area. Like you say, the first time it’s about the other guy, the next time it’s about me. That’s hard to accept. So, I need to change my mind, otherwise how do I know I still have one?
Types of put downs;
Being the butt of jokes
Told to hurry up, am I stupid?
Cornering me into actions I don’t want to do
Because you said “X”, no one will ever like you, they will only tolerate you
Categorization
Lack of empathy
Lack of ability to adjust sails in new environments, cultures
Thank you for the opportunity to vent
A
Wow, personally I think you handled the situation you described in a constructive, assertive manner. And my guess is you handle other situations just as well. It is not easy to be assertive, but you'll like yourself MUCH MORE than if you were passive :) :)
Hysterical.... hysterectomy 🙄
I'm looking at them as the chief ready to prepare a Fish dish in the kitchen at Benihana
I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.