I like the ignoring the question idea. I think ignoring can also be a good technique for a bossy text. Now I just need to follow your advice. Thanks! Also: ( I like to "leave a pause" when someone says something mean.Just let it hang in the air instead of replying, and they hear how rude they just sounded!
Also you can ask them to repeat it. "I'm not sure I heard you correctly- would you repeat that?" Works well too. I probably learned that on this channel.🎉
I love ignoring and grey rocking at work. I am not as eloquent as you but I hope one day to use the "I'm telling you that because I care" line, lol! That's priceless. Thanks for all the reminders to NOT defend. It's so valuable ❤
Well-done. By "exposing" the bully's weakness to all the others listening, they'll never want to confront you again as they hate how it made them "feel"... and how they lost face/facade in front of witnesses
Am also binge-watching as I prepare to return to work after a long absence: you’re helping me feel more confident by the day. And you are ! I appreciate the constant reminders to deliver the message lovingly, the importance of taking responsibility for all of my relationships, and how empowering that is. And the regular laughs are icing on the cake. 🤣
'How that third-rate behaviour reflects on you. I'm telling you that because I care.' as he slips on his spectacles and moves on with ease. We love and need you Dan! I was recently asked, in an almost interrogational tone, some deeply private and personal questions. I admit, I belong in a permanent hothouse or maybe even need a lobotomy due to social shock syndrome if someone is even remotely rude (send me your compassion please! then slap me senseless!). I was so shocked that someone would ask such things that I just froze and babbled, when I knew fully well I should have shut this down ASAP! That's what happens when I don't keep up-to-date with your instructional videos!
This happens to me too. It’s probably because we don’t do those type of behaviors thus we don’t recognize them fast enough. I was told by a wealthy person that she did not believe I had gone to a private school in her general neighborhood. That I had lied about it. And she thinks this because I don’t “seem” like someone from her community. I could not believe her simplistic logic and extreme naivety! My experience at that school ended 40 years ago. I did not want to be part of her community nor to look like I had come from it. And other things. But I did not want to explain myself to such a tude nitwit. Nor did I want to pull rank on her and insult her. I did give her some info she could check (or not) which should perplex her either way. But I regret that. I think pulling rank on her would have been more effective. I was so emotionally taken aback by her confrontation (done privately during a volunteer effort) that it affected my ability to think. Also, she may have done this to get even with me when I asked her a question, a few years previously, which I meant to he helpful but perhaps embarrassed her.
Leaves Ongrass, I think I might have used a "Look it up; I have nothing to prove to you." But it seems as though you handled it well. And perhaps it was payback . . . .--childish, but it happens.
@@TheWizardOfWords I have nothing to prove to you or I don't have to justify myself to you would have been epic. As I learned from my sangfroid (which a French person told me once means cold-blooded rather than insouciant) mother and sister, this would have been the best reply and that I allowed emotion to get in the way. I did. That sucks. Why must I be human amidst so many giants??????
@@leavesongrass Dear friend, next time, pull rank! Such third rate behaviour! Don't you watch Dan?????? By any chance are you a New Yorker? If not, blend Dan with NY and voila. She is soooooooooooooooooooo outer suburbia, she may as well be from Pluto (which isn't even a planet anymore...allegedly). Sooooo nouveau, what can you do? Res ipsa loquitor, as Dan's grandfather would undoubtedly say. Oh, oh please tell us the question you asked her. NO WAY did you just slip that little golden nugget past my eyes!!!!! Of course, I understand, you were only being humane and it definitely hurt you more than it did her etc etc yadda yadda. Still. Hand over the gold!
My detractor at work I believe has low self-esteem, and is a know-it-all. So when I have asked her a question on how to do something, because I'm new, she would say "I can't believe you don't KNOW that already," - this, instead of answering the question (or it precedes the question). She is very passive aggressive, in other words. And she does the meaner stuff while not in front of others, but in group texts she will do that thing where she explains things to me I already know, to make me look stupid. So far, I haven't really called her on it. I am wondering how to do that.
Please check around and review the various shorts and longs I've done on this very topic of spotlighting the behavior of people as a way of calling them out and teaching them how to treat you.
You are so good at role playing and showing examples! Would you be willing to show examples of the difference between clarifying/explaining a process versus what defending looks like? ❤
I just discovered this channel, I can’t stop watching, I absolutely love it. Your content is not only entertaining but so educational in real life situations where I have always struggled. ❤
Well worth the subscription extras. This man teaches so effectively, it amazes me when I hear a well stated response pop calmly out of my own mouth and ..... hmmmm... where did I learn that? Better than any book or other teacher. He means it when he says it.
All my life I have been innept at dealing with toxic people but for the first time ever I am feeling hopeful for change in my ability to communicate effectively . Your awesome!! Thank you so much
There is no way you’re going to hell love. You are a lifesaver. I feel drained and heart broken with every family event. I needed this help. I’m not always aware of the double talk. I Thank you for the advice. Now, I need to master them in baby steps.
I have learned so much from you. Thank you for what you do. It’s all about the words the tone and the intention you can shut folks down and make them respect you without being rude, nasty or inappropriate if you have the right tools in your toolbox thank you.
Thank you for the work done with the RUclips channel and the valuable suggestions offered. Yesterday I had the interview, yesterday a few hours later I was called for confirmation. I have never had such a positive experience. Thank you Daniel. I wish you a wonderful week!
Just left a toxic work environment. This would have been invaluable! Also educated by nuns so will channel Sr Angela when next challenged by a rude and obnoxious person. Love the blocking!
Dan I will say that I found you a short few months ago while reading over self help books such as neuro-linguistic programming. Used that broken record tactic and the "that's interesting" phrases with a workplace bully to great effect! I will admit that I have High Functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome. With this comes a lot of social awkwardness, the biggest problem I need help with is panic attacks due to people using confrontational body language such as yelling, waving their arms around, etc. One thing I have found that may sort of work is using the anchored feeling of cold water being poured on me to snap me out of a potential attack. This works to varying degrees of success. My questions to you is have you dealt with persons on the Autistic Spectrum? Have you a better method for essentially "snapping" anyone out of a panic attack complete with racing thoughts, blood pressure rising, etc?
Hi Kolten: I have heard from hundreds of people on the spectrum. I do my best to give words, but I make no claim to being an expert on autism. I am not qualified to do that. If I were in your position I would use Google, and I am not kidding. I think you'd find amazing help for snapping out of a panic attack. I have breathing techniques, of course, but you're no doubt familiar with those. I will tell you one thing, Kolten--because what I do is suggest WORDS for various situations. Please don't use the word "admit" when referring to your having High Functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome. "Admit" implies a confession--a reluctant confession. Please use "acknowledge." You want to acknowledge being on the spectrum, the same way someone might acknowledge being tall or short or sick or well or broke or rich. There is nothing to be ashamed about when you are on the spectrum, so you want to acknowledge that--rather than admit it. I haven't solved your panic attack problem, but I hope I've given you a good language tip. :). Dan
I am so glad that I found your channel! Thank you so much for being here on the platform sharing your words of wisdom! I am going to be working with a lazy coworker today and your videos are already helping me
You're brilliant Dan!! So glad I discovered your channel! I can't get enough! And you bring it home sooo entertaining that I can't forget the main points. 😅
I started a new job 5months ago and immediately came across a rather large, loud, obnoxious bully who everyone seemed to be pussy footing around. I’m 61 and not about to put up with any crap at my stage in life. I immediately used the blocking body language behaviour. She now comes or looks nowhere near me. I believe she is one very lonely, insecure lady. The silly thing is I’m an empathetic person and I’m feeling guilty for doing this to her.
You should not feel guilty. You handled it with dignity and respect, and also leaving her dignity in her respect in tact. I believe you have false guilt. You should be proud of yourself when you go to sleep at night I honestly believe God is proud of you I think you did really good.
Love your videos! This is the best one that I have seen so far!.I think because it is so practical and applicable. Good thing that you underscored that these techniques should be used in extreme situations.
I love this guy 😂 now you know why I'm going to hell" I'm looking this up at 4 am because i needed to fond out how to deal with the Petty toxic person designated as my boss
You are a great coach and your delivery is soooo engaging and entertaining. Truly, I would like to be able to respond to doofi (pl. of doofus) using your suggestions, but the problem is I don't have the presence of mind to be able to recall your suggestions in the moment. It's only afterwards that words come to me, like what I could have or should have said or done. This is probably the "freeze" response kicking in, but as well, I am usually astonished at how so-called "with-it," knowledgeable people can be so rude without even having to think about it that their behaviour renders me speechless.
No, sharing this info isn't contributing to the ultimate destination in the heat. I say quite the opposite. I'm an only child raised to be highly agreeable with ZERO ability to defend myself verbally. I always felt surprised if someone was rude or took advantage like why would anyone even ever and now I am less surprised but still no defenses besides the much practiced look of disdain lol but being a door matt with a face doesn't spread the love in fact quite the opposite. Sometimes being able to bite back creates respect and prevents further negativity and facilitates loving communication. Therefore teaching love and light.
I think this is hilarious and really well done. The production value is great - the subtitles, the music, your attitude. I'm so glad I chose a career where I worked for myself. All these comments I've read are serious as hell, which surprised me, but I guess it's a dog eat dog business world out there, uhg. Anyway, nice job.
Oh my gosh, my good friend told me that “I look like I’m controlling traffic when I’m telling people off” because I use a lot of hand gestures. I’ve been a little self conscious about it since she said that but she didn’t mean it in a negative way, just an observation.
Oh you and my mother. Neither of you should give it a second thought. I can't tell you how many wine glasses my mother has sent to their reward as she was making some sweeping gesture.
😂😂😂 your videos fun to watch and learn. I had friends who spoke to me about how bad I was because I was actually lazy sometimes exhausted tired but it hurted my feeling I cried so hard. I use to care what insecure people say about my looks but now idc
I have a coworker who uses those on me in regular conversations at all times. Here is the issue I cannot discuss any issues and solve them with her. Even for basic things I got shut down. She comes off as insane and insecure.
I’m dealing with this now, only the ring leader is my boss’ assistant. HELP! And my boss has tunnel vision and does not see it. I like my boss but her assistant dislikes me and unfortunately that’s not a good place to be in 😩😩😩😩
Excellent! I have a good one for you. It works beautifully.. Just make your eyes go around in a circle, not looking at them at all, and say “interesting” but sound it out like “in..ter..est..ing” and after you say it, turn your back on them and walk away. They will be floored. Trust me. It works.
Thanks as always. You are my go to person when I'm having trouble communicating and when I use what you say, it works. But also thanks for recognising that sometimes we are just trying to deflect attacks. And that, if we do that at the level of language then our lives are a bit smoother. I've stopped people from taking advantage of me through your videos, and stopped people insulting me. I'm now on bullying. I don't know where the thanks button is. I clicked the liked button. Is that what you wanted? Have you done one on people being patronising?
We WOULD be friends if you'd become a YT channel member, J R. Then come to my live shows--Tuesday evening at 7:00 Chicago time and make it known you're a member. THEN we can talk :)
I always laugh at things that you're very serious about. Have you ever considered stand-up comedy? Because I'd Love to hear it!🤣 I'm a big fan of your precision🎯 Hecklers would find themselves in tears. Tears of joy of course😏
What pertinent answer can you give the interviewer when he asks you if you are married, have children or do you have future plans to change your status? And how can you answer the question: where do you see yourself in 5 years in the company?
Anda, I have an entire series on "Landing the job," that covers the interview process and the questions you're asking. Check it out on my RUclips channel.
Wow great stuff, thank you I personally don’t engage in tactics in dire situations when I’m A toxic work environment. I think I missed the registration deadline, I’ll be keeping an eye out for another time.
Here's a tough one: What do we psoriasis sufferers say to all of the know-it-all assholes out there who say that psoriasis is caused by "nervousness" (even if they just met me two minutes ago) and that if I was just as serenely calm as them then my skin would have always been fine. What would you say Dan?
I might say "Gee, I never thought of that. I'll add it to my notes." And then I'd smile and say absolutely nothing more on the topic. If they persist, simply look at them until they stop.
My issue is not with coworkers but with clients. I can’t really get super bitchy because they make me money. However I have this one narcissist who has literally asked me what porn I watch. He’s made comments about my body and how he can “help” me since my lower body could use some work and he feels like an expert in fitness. He asks lots of questions about my husband and then makes pretty rude comments about him based on what I’ve told him. I usually try to laugh it off, but now he even has noticed that and makes comments about how I’m laughing and not really answering him, I feel supremely uncomfortable. I know there must be a better way but it really hasn’t come to me. People say I’m “too nice” and that’s probably something to do with it. Any advice for rude people who pay you?
Caroline, you don't have to submit to rude, inappropriate, sexist comments--even from a client. You are right; you don't have to be bitchy. But you DO have to establish boundaries, especially because this is obviously bothering you, and I can understand why. This client is being offensive, rude, and ugly. I would be direct with him, and being direct is quite different from being "bitchy." You never hear men who are being direct called "bitchy." You might say to this person: "Kevin, I am not comfortable discussing anything about my person or my personal life." Do not laugh it off. Look him straight in the eye when you tell him this. If he persists, you use the broken record--possibly prefaced, if appropriate, with "that may be but." For example: "Oh Caroline, aren't we bitchy today!" " That may be but, I am not comfortable discussing anything about my person or my personal life." "Caroline, you are going to stonewall me?" "Kevin, I am not comfortable discussing anything about my person or my personal life." If you continue to say this to him, the fun of seeing you embarrassed or laughing anxiously will go away and he will eventually stop because you're no longer rewarding his ugly behavior.
@@TheWizardOfWords Caroline, listen to The Wiz. Your client is behaving in an unprofessional and predatory manner and he needs to be dealt with firmly. Dude is a straight up pig. Asserting a boundary is a win either way for you, and here's why... If you successfully shut his poor behavior down, you win by keeping the revenue. And if you lose him as a client, you still win because you get to keep your dignity.
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If you liked this video and want to support this channel, please consider pressing the "join" button--right here www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
I am so happy I found you. I was being bullied at work, but not anymore.
This stuff is the narcissist's worst nightmare! Brilliant 👏
I totally agree. These principles he’s teaching applies to any situation. It doesn’t have to be at work.
You’re an angel👼🏻!
Narcissists & psychopaths are controlled by demons😈😈 who are going to hell NOT you.
I like the ignoring the question idea. I think ignoring can also be a good technique for a bossy text. Now I just need to follow your advice. Thanks! Also: ( I like to "leave a pause" when someone says something mean.Just let it hang in the air instead of replying, and they hear how rude they just sounded!
Also you can ask them to repeat it. "I'm not sure I heard you correctly- would you repeat that?" Works well too. I probably learned that on this channel.🎉
Thanks!
I love ignoring and grey rocking at work. I am not as eloquent as you but I hope one day to use the "I'm telling you that because I care" line, lol! That's priceless. Thanks for all the reminders to NOT defend. It's so valuable ❤
Good stuff! Definitely want to be confident about addressing criticism and insults, so done with toxic people
Well-done. By "exposing" the bully's weakness to all the others listening, they'll never want to confront you again as they hate how it made them "feel"... and how they lost face/facade in front of witnesses
You are going straight to Heaven for all your wonderful advice!! God bless!!
OMIGOD I HOPE SO :) :)(. Sharon, I think we all are, truth be told :)
Am also binge-watching as I prepare to return to work after a long absence: you’re helping me feel more confident by the day. And you are ! I appreciate the constant reminders to deliver the message lovingly, the importance of taking responsibility for all of my relationships, and how empowering that is. And the regular laughs are icing on the cake. 🤣
Thanks, Kelley :)
'How that third-rate behaviour reflects on you. I'm telling you that because I care.' as he slips on his spectacles and moves on with ease. We love and need you Dan! I was recently asked, in an almost interrogational tone, some deeply private and personal questions. I admit, I belong in a permanent hothouse or maybe even need a lobotomy due to social shock syndrome if someone is even remotely rude (send me your compassion please! then slap me senseless!). I was so shocked that someone would ask such things that I just froze and babbled, when I knew fully well I should have shut this down ASAP! That's what happens when I don't keep up-to-date with your instructional videos!
This happens to me too. It’s probably because we don’t do those type of behaviors thus we don’t recognize them fast enough.
I was told by a wealthy person that she did not believe I had gone to a private school in her general neighborhood. That I had lied about it. And she thinks this because I don’t “seem” like someone from her community. I could not believe her simplistic logic and extreme naivety! My experience at that school ended 40 years ago. I did not want to be part of her community nor to look like I had come from it. And other things. But I did not want to explain myself to such a tude nitwit. Nor did I want to pull rank on her and insult her. I did give her some info she could check (or not) which should perplex her either way. But I regret that. I think pulling rank on her would have been more effective. I was so emotionally taken aback by her confrontation (done privately during a volunteer effort) that it affected my ability to think.
Also, she may have done this to get even with me when I asked her a question, a few years previously, which I meant to he helpful but perhaps embarrassed her.
Leaves Ongrass, I think I might have used a "Look it up; I have nothing to prove to you." But it seems as though you handled it well. And perhaps it was payback . . . .--childish, but it happens.
@@TheWizardOfWords I have nothing to prove to you or I don't have to justify myself to you would have been epic. As I learned from my sangfroid (which a French person told me once means cold-blooded rather than insouciant) mother and sister, this would have been the best reply and that I allowed emotion to get in the way. I did. That sucks. Why must I be human amidst so many giants??????
@@leavesongrass Dear friend, next time, pull rank! Such third rate behaviour! Don't you watch Dan?????? By any chance are you a New Yorker? If not, blend Dan with NY and voila. She is soooooooooooooooooooo outer suburbia, she may as well be from Pluto (which isn't even a planet anymore...allegedly). Sooooo nouveau, what can you do? Res ipsa loquitor, as Dan's grandfather would undoubtedly say.
Oh, oh please tell us the question you asked her. NO WAY did you just slip that little golden nugget past my eyes!!!!! Of course, I understand, you were only being humane and it definitely hurt you more than it did her etc etc yadda yadda. Still. Hand over the gold!
I needed to hear this today.
Something anyone would consider, devastating happened. The response was quite unkind.
You are awesome.
My detractor at work I believe has low self-esteem, and is a know-it-all. So when I have asked her a question on how to do something, because I'm new, she would say "I can't believe you don't KNOW that already," - this, instead of answering the question (or it precedes the question). She is very passive aggressive, in other words. And she does the meaner stuff while not in front of others, but in group texts she will do that thing where she explains things to me I already know, to make me look stupid. So far, I haven't really called her on it. I am wondering how to do that.
Please check around and review the various shorts and longs I've done on this very topic of spotlighting the behavior of people as a way of calling them out and teaching them how to treat you.
You are so good at role playing and showing examples! Would you be willing to show examples of the difference between clarifying/explaining a process versus what defending looks like? ❤
I absolutely want to see this too Dan!!!!!!
"Since I'm already going to Hell......" Ha! Love it.
❤❤❤ - I am in a toxic environment!
I just discovered this channel, I can’t stop watching, I absolutely love it. Your content is not only entertaining but so educational in real life situations where I have always struggled. ❤
Welcome aboard and thank you, Allison.
Well worth the subscription extras. This man teaches so effectively, it amazes me when I hear a well stated response pop calmly out of my own mouth and ..... hmmmm... where did I learn that? Better than any book or other teacher. He means it when he says it.
All my life I have been innept at dealing with toxic people but for the first time ever I am feeling hopeful for change in my ability to communicate effectively . Your awesome!! Thank you so much
Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me this, Shelanel. Much appreciated.
There is no way you’re going to hell love. You are a lifesaver. I feel drained and heart broken with every family event. I needed this help. I’m not always aware of the double talk. I Thank you for the advice. Now, I need to master them in baby steps.
Thanks, Civis :)
I have learned so much from you. Thank you for what you do. It’s all about the words the tone and the intention you can shut folks down and make them respect you without being rude, nasty or inappropriate if you have the right tools in your toolbox thank you.
LMV, have you pressed the "join" button yet? :)
The editing of your videos makes it easier to absorb! This video is great, thank you.
Glad you think so and thanks.
Not only are you effective, you're hilarious and entertaining! Thank you, thank you, thank you
You are so welcome, Sashay :)
I loved ❤ this! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 😊
Beautiful work Dan-appreciate all you do💜
Liked, commented and subscribed! Thank you again my friend! ❤😊
Akiko, I appreciate the like, comment and subscribing. Now would you consider pressing that "join" button and becoming a YT member? :)
This is awesome! We need to never confront but be able to disconnect the conversation by blocking out the bad behaviors
Thank you for the work done with the RUclips channel and the valuable suggestions offered. Yesterday I had the interview, yesterday a few hours later I was called for confirmation. I have never had such a positive experience. Thank you Daniel. I wish you a wonderful week!
Fantastic! I'm happy and feel blessed to have helped.
I have seen the light....and it is Dan O'Connor....and it is good.
Just left a toxic work environment. This would have been invaluable! Also educated by nuns so will channel Sr Angela when next challenged by a rude and obnoxious person. Love the blocking!
Dan I will say that I found you a short few months ago while reading over self help books such as neuro-linguistic programming. Used that broken record tactic and the "that's interesting" phrases with a workplace bully to great effect!
I will admit that I have High Functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome. With this comes a lot of social awkwardness, the biggest problem I need help with is panic attacks due to people using confrontational body language such as yelling, waving their arms around, etc.
One thing I have found that may sort of work is using the anchored feeling of cold water being poured on me to snap me out of a potential attack. This works to varying degrees of success. My questions to you is have you dealt with persons on the Autistic Spectrum? Have you a better method for essentially "snapping" anyone out of a panic attack complete with racing thoughts, blood pressure rising, etc?
Hi Kolten: I have heard from hundreds of people on the spectrum. I do my best to give words, but I make no claim to being an expert on autism. I am not qualified to do that. If I were in your position I would use Google, and I am not kidding. I think you'd find amazing help for snapping out of a panic attack. I have breathing techniques, of course, but you're no doubt familiar with those. I will tell you one thing, Kolten--because what I do is suggest WORDS for various situations. Please don't use the word "admit" when referring to your having High Functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome. "Admit" implies a confession--a reluctant confession. Please use "acknowledge." You want to acknowledge being on the spectrum, the same way someone might acknowledge being tall or short or sick or well or broke or rich. There is nothing to be ashamed about when you are on the spectrum, so you want to acknowledge that--rather than admit it. I haven't solved your panic attack problem, but I hope I've given you a good language tip. :). Dan
I just frkn love your style! I wish I found you 10 years ago😂
I'm glad you're here now :)
I am so glad that I found your channel! Thank you so much for being here on the platform sharing your words of wisdom! I am going to be working with a lazy coworker today and your videos are already helping me
Very happy to be of help, Lindsey.
Thank you Dan!!! You keep getting better and better!
Wow! Thank you Dan 🙏🏼 Dan I find you so comical 🤣🤗. It makes learning these new skills fun . Even though there serious issues… Thankyou 🥰
No, I think that you’re saving good people - which would give you points toward heaven! Thank you so much! ❤️😇
Ooooo!!! So good! I love the color & voice shifts for emphasis!!!!
😂😂😂
I adore you. You're amazing.
You're brilliant Dan!! So glad I discovered your channel! I can't get enough!
And you bring it home sooo entertaining that I can't forget the main points. 😅
I started a new job 5months ago and immediately came across a rather large, loud, obnoxious bully who everyone seemed to be pussy footing around. I’m 61 and not about to put up with any crap at my stage in life. I immediately used the blocking body language behaviour. She now comes or looks nowhere near me. I believe she is one very lonely, insecure lady. The silly thing is I’m an empathetic person and I’m feeling guilty for doing this to her.
You should not feel guilty. You handled it with dignity and respect, and also leaving her dignity in her respect in tact. I believe you have false guilt. You should be proud of yourself when you go to sleep at night I honestly believe God is proud of you I think you did really good.
@@lonjemariesfashions5117 thank you, I needed to hear that 👍🏼
@@josephinecunningham5998 haven’t a clue, it’s my own body blocking behaviour 👍🏼
This was so helpful for a current situation I’m in!! God bless!!
Great tools. Thank you.
Love your videos! This is the best one that I have seen so far!.I think because it is so practical and applicable. Good thing that you underscored that these techniques should be used in extreme situations.
I love this guy 😂 now you know why I'm going to hell" I'm looking this up at 4 am because i needed to fond out how to deal with the Petty toxic person designated as my boss
You are a great coach and your delivery is soooo engaging and entertaining. Truly, I would like to be able to respond to doofi (pl. of doofus) using your suggestions, but the problem is I don't have the presence of mind to be able to recall your suggestions in the moment. It's only afterwards that words come to me, like what I could have or should have said or done. This is probably the "freeze" response kicking in, but as well, I am usually astonished at how so-called "with-it," knowledgeable people can be so rude without even having to think about it that their behaviour renders me speechless.
Three words for you JB. Practice. Practice. Practice.
You are a gift that keeps on giving!!!! 🔥🏆🥂
No, sharing this info isn't contributing to the ultimate destination in the heat. I say quite the opposite. I'm an only child raised to be highly agreeable with ZERO ability to defend myself verbally. I always felt surprised if someone was rude or took advantage like why would anyone even ever and now I am less surprised but still no defenses besides the much practiced look of disdain lol but being a door matt with a face doesn't spread the love in fact quite the opposite. Sometimes being able to bite back creates respect and prevents further negativity and facilitates loving communication. Therefore teaching love and light.
Absolutely. Sometimes a little edgy is showing love.
I think this is hilarious and really well done. The production value is great - the subtitles, the music, your attitude. I'm so glad I chose a career where I worked for myself. All these comments I've read are serious as hell, which surprised me, but I guess it's a dog eat dog business world out there, uhg. Anyway, nice job.
Many thanks, Marty.
❤❤❤ Love your channel! I have a problem with people talking down to me. Your hints and tips are so helpful.
Glad you like them and I hope they help, Luana.
Oh my gosh, my good friend told me that “I look like I’m controlling traffic when I’m telling people off” because I use a lot of hand gestures. I’ve been a little self conscious about it since she said that but she didn’t mean it in a negative way, just an observation.
Oh you and my mother. Neither of you should give it a second thought. I can't tell you how many wine glasses my mother has sent to their reward as she was making some sweeping gesture.
That is great advice, so great service. No worry about hell. You are so expressive and precise. And sooo funny! A master.
Thanks, Eliza. Please consider becoming a channel member ruclips.net/channel/UC5Zb02pmVD2VA7lnx8mV4gwjoin
Great job survival tactics. I had a job that was a emergency situation every day.
I LOVE this type of advice!
Consistently brilliant, helpful, and roll on the floor hilarious! Bravo!
Glad you enjoyed it!
😂😂😂 your videos fun to watch and learn. I had friends who spoke to me about how bad I was because I was actually lazy sometimes exhausted tired but it hurted my feeling I cried so hard. I use to care what insecure people say about my looks but now idc
Soo grateful I found this channel
I have a coworker who uses those on me in regular conversations at all times. Here is the issue I cannot discuss any issues and solve them with her. Even for basic things I got shut down. She comes off as insane and insecure.
I’m dealing with this now, only the ring leader is my boss’ assistant. HELP! And my boss has tunnel vision and does not see it. I like my boss but her assistant dislikes me and unfortunately that’s not a good place to be in 😩😩😩😩
Who do I approach with this concern? Boss or assistant? @Wizard
Omg😂 I love you. I feel like I have the internal dialogue AFTER situations happen
If someone 'blocked me' they'd be sent to Coventry. (They would cease to exist).
Excellent! I have a good one for you. It works beautifully..
Just make your eyes go around in a circle, not looking at them at all, and say “interesting” but sound it out like “in..ter..est..ing” and after you say it, turn your back on them and walk away. They will be floored. Trust me. It works.
Sounds good to me, JS.
Dan, you’re hysterical!
Thank you and I just bought your book!❤
Wonderful! Please let me know how you like it. BTW--which book did you buy--Energy Vampire Slaying: 101 or Say THIS not THAT!
The flashing made me ill. I closed my eyes so I can pay attention to your words better
Thanks as always. You are my go to person when I'm having trouble communicating and when I use what you say, it works. But also thanks for recognising that sometimes we are just trying to deflect attacks. And that, if we do that at the level of language then our lives are a bit smoother. I've stopped people from taking advantage of me through your videos, and stopped people insulting me. I'm now on bullying. I don't know where the thanks button is. I clicked the liked button. Is that what you wanted? Have you done one on people being patronising?
Thank you! 🖤🙏
Beautiful!!!
A "communication freeloader"! 😂 OMG! I wish I could be friends with you in real life.
We WOULD be friends if you'd become a YT channel member, J R. Then come to my live shows--Tuesday evening at 7:00 Chicago time and make it known you're a member. THEN we can talk :)
I love these thank you
Love this one Dan.
I always laugh at things that you're very serious about. Have you ever considered stand-up comedy?
Because I'd Love to hear it!🤣
I'm a big fan of your precision🎯
Hecklers would find themselves in tears.
Tears of joy of course😏
Maybe one day!
Best laugh all year! Just subscribed. Where were you when I needed you? Thank you for the tips.
Thanks for the sub, dclaet--and for the shares. I will be with you going forward; I'm right here.
Man, I wish I was this naturally manipulative. I guess I'm clueless what other people's weaknesses are.. Back to the video.
Love that dig at end about freeloading 😮😂 like a quick smack to the face and then he's out
What app did you use to highlight the words in the text? That is sooooo coool!
You're hilarious. I'm sharing this with my kids at dinner tonight. ❤ From Chicago
My mother (Fargo, ND girl) met my father in Chicago. I worked for a few years in Chicago. My father's family is southside. I LOVE CHICAGO!
@@TheWizardOfWords I remember (it's Jupiter). Isn't Marty still in the area? You guys make a great team.
Hi Jupiter--long time no hear. No, Marty is in Saint Paul, MN. But we seee each other frequently and still make a great team :)
I love it! 🎉 you fantastic
Thank you for this!!
You have excellent words and body language❤
Thank you--he says humbly.
What pertinent answer can you give the interviewer when he asks you if you are married, have children or do you have future plans to change your status? And how can you answer the question: where do you see yourself in 5 years in the company?
Anda, I have an entire series on "Landing the job," that covers the interview process and the questions you're asking. Check it out on my RUclips channel.
Wow great stuff, thank you I personally don’t engage in tactics in dire situations when I’m A toxic work environment. I think I missed the registration deadline, I’ll be keeping an eye out for another time.
You have today to register if you wish :)
@@TheWizardOfWords oh cool
Here's a tough one: What do we psoriasis sufferers say to all of the know-it-all assholes out there who say that psoriasis is caused by "nervousness" (even if they just met me two minutes ago) and that if I was just as serenely calm as them then my skin would have always been fine. What would you say Dan?
I might say "Gee, I never thought of that. I'll add it to my notes." And then I'd smile and say absolutely nothing more on the topic. If they persist, simply look at them until they stop.
You are amazing!!!! Lol I’m so glad I found you fr ❤❤❤❤
Love your audio. What kind of mic do you use?
My comment is unrelated to your topic, but ... your video transitions between subjects is nicely done.
Thank you :)
Thanks
Many thanks to you, Img6388 :)
Perfect
Watch over n over!!!!! Got it!!!
Love this 😂thank you! 🎯🎯🎯 very helpful
Haha I just love you. Thank you for these videos!
Ah it is so difficult to deal with rude people if English is your second language. I need to overcome this issue using fewer words
Thanks!
Many thanks to YOU, Jay.
You're brilliant Dan! And with just the right dose of edgey cockiness! That give us the licence to be cocky when it's called for 👍
The enneagram link doesnt work
Lol! A communication freeloader. 🎯 This whole thing was funny. The only sad part was about hell.
The hell comment was a joke, TJ :). Now the communication freeloader comment was not! BTW, are you a YT member? :) :)
You are the best 😊
My issue is not with coworkers but with clients. I can’t really get super bitchy because they make me money. However I have this one narcissist who has literally asked me what porn I watch. He’s made comments about my body and how he can “help” me since my lower body could use some work and he feels like an expert in fitness. He asks lots of questions about my husband and then makes pretty rude comments about him based on what I’ve told him. I usually try to laugh it off, but now he even has noticed that and makes comments about how I’m laughing and not really answering him, I feel supremely uncomfortable. I know there must be a better way but it really hasn’t come to me. People say I’m “too nice” and that’s probably something to do with it. Any advice for rude people who pay you?
Caroline, you don't have to submit to rude, inappropriate, sexist comments--even from a client. You are right; you don't have to be bitchy. But you DO have to establish boundaries, especially because this is obviously bothering you, and I can understand why. This client is being offensive, rude, and ugly. I would be direct with him, and being direct is quite different from being "bitchy." You never hear men who are being direct called "bitchy." You might say to this person: "Kevin, I am not comfortable discussing anything about my person or my personal life." Do not laugh it off. Look him straight in the eye when you tell him this. If he persists, you use the broken record--possibly prefaced, if appropriate, with "that may be but." For example: "Oh Caroline, aren't we bitchy today!" " That may be but, I am not comfortable discussing anything about my person or my personal life." "Caroline, you are going to stonewall me?" "Kevin, I am not comfortable discussing anything about my person or my personal life." If you continue to say this to him, the fun of seeing you embarrassed or laughing anxiously will go away and he will eventually stop because you're no longer rewarding his ugly behavior.
@@TheWizardOfWords Caroline, listen to The Wiz. Your client is behaving in an unprofessional and predatory manner and he needs to be dealt with firmly. Dude is a straight up pig. Asserting a boundary is a win either way for you, and here's why...
If you successfully shut his poor behavior down, you win by keeping the revenue. And if you lose him as a client, you still win because you get to keep your dignity.
Thanks!
Many thanks to YOU Ir.a. :)
5:30 - Lovin this entire vid and you were hilarious through this segment
The most beautiful voice I've ever heard
Wait, have you hear Whitney Houston singing "I will always love you?" :) :)
I just saw this video, couldn’t download the enneagram info.
Really? I'm so sorry! Please try again. I've updated the link.
And thank you for telling me!
You're videos are awesome
Glad you like them!