How to respond to insults at work | 3 power phrases

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 228

  • @jod6cindy
    @jod6cindy 2 года назад +125

    I loathe condescending and superior comments meant to demean someone, and make them feel humiliated. Whenever it happens to me, I always feel so blindsided and taken aback, my mind literally, always goes blank. I wonder if I can ever learn to do what you've advocated here? I hope so.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +64

      Munx, practice it. Go over it in your mind. Imagine the scenario. I ASSURE YOU YOU CAN DO THIS. I receive letters every single day from people who are standing up for themselves successfully. Don't be blindsided again. Be prepared.

    • @scmtnchick
      @scmtnchick 2 года назад +14

      Me too! I've been getting better at responding with Dan's advice!

    • @jod6cindy
      @jod6cindy 2 года назад +19

      @@TheWizardOfWords Thank you, Dan. I'm going to make a real effort to practice what you've suggested. Condescending people have an uncanny knack for knowing who to lay their nasty crap on. I'm sorry I didn't nail them for it years ago.

    • @LisaLisa001
      @LisaLisa001 2 года назад +3

      @Munx that was the perfect example and it flew right by most!

    • @jod6cindy
      @jod6cindy 2 года назад +3

      @@LisaLisa001 Thank you, LK. I'm still hoping to get better at it.

  • @jeannettehyams8460
    @jeannettehyams8460 Год назад +5

    I'm another person that froze like a deer in the headlights when someone deeply criticized me. We were in their car and I just absolutely was so taken aback that I could not speak - and never did address the insult/comment. It was my boss and I feel that after a year has gone by I lost my power to do anything about it or respond now. But watching you Dan has helped me tremendously - I'm not going to let that happen again!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад +1

      You go girl. (I hope that phrase isn't considered sexist. It's not meant to be.)

  • @pineapplebanana2786
    @pineapplebanana2786 2 года назад +48

    I love this guy. I wished I found your channel before I left my former employer.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +8

      Hopefully this channel will help you with issues that might arise with your current employer, as well, Pineapple.

    • @EvenPlayingField
      @EvenPlayingField 5 месяцев назад

      Can you navigate me and my adhd to your communication starter kit?

    • @volumeaddict
      @volumeaddict Месяц назад

      Me too!!!!!!! Love this so much!

  • @Imawhiteboard
    @Imawhiteboard 2 года назад +77

    I've used your advice. it worked out well and now I'm promoted with a huge raise.. This guys a genius. Edit DAN YOUR AMAZING❤

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +15

      OMIGOD, did my mother pay you to write that? I hope she paid you A LOT. Thanks, Julie Marie :). And I hope you took advantage of that VIP pass offer.

    • @Imawhiteboard
      @Imawhiteboard 2 года назад +4

      @@TheWizardOfWords hahhahhaah. Love your mom. But no this was all genuine From the heart. You have guided me through some ( unique) situations. 😍

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +2

      Thanks much, Julie Marie.

    • @Naturally_Blonde
      @Naturally_Blonde 2 года назад +1

      Great content. Would this still be an appropriate tactic when it’s your boss or someone above you insulting you?

    • @CynymonGirl
      @CynymonGirl 2 года назад

      @@Naturally_Blonde Great question. All 3 of my supervisors have no filter when it comes to communicating with certain employees (me) that they don't like.

  • @four-y1m
    @four-y1m 9 месяцев назад +3

    My colleague who has a position under mine keeps taking my tasks for themselves, or asking if my tasks were done, how to politely tell them to f*** off and stay at their lane? We are both new at the job and I am a Manager, so I don't want anyone acting as they are doing my job instead of me. Thank you, Dan!

  • @steviecrow914
    @steviecrow914 2 года назад +39

    This is awesome, Dan. There is an absolute dearth of emotional intelligence in corporate leadership. Love how you empower us all to call out behavior which is unproductive, detrimental and must stop.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +8

      Many thanks, Stevie--we're trying to change global dialogue and corporate culture. It may take awhile :)

    • @linhngo7398
      @linhngo7398 2 года назад +6

      Thank you so much Dan. I was beating myself up because I called out bad behavior. I kept thinking that I was the problem and being "difficult". I was hearing stuff like "don't take it personal"...just "forgive"...etc. Etc.

    • @jajajajaja357
      @jajajajaja357 14 дней назад

      I think that there is a total death of emotional intelligence in all humanity. It’s getting colder and darker outside there every day. It Helps a lot to remember…..Who am
      I? What do I want? Why am I here.

  • @mitzymaui8101
    @mitzymaui8101 2 года назад +17

    Just nothing better or more timely and useful than the support Dan offers to us all through his training and key phrases. Sooooo thankful to have found you Dan; just so thankful.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      Many thanks for taking the time to write and tell me this, Mitzy.

  • @mfisher2800
    @mfisher2800 2 года назад +8

    I'm so glad I found your channel! I need to watch all of your videos because I was insulted at work in front of my face when two co-workers switched from perfect English to another language for ten minutes to get away with gossiping about me. The job experience was awful, that is the short of it. I should have watched every one of your videos before I went into a new work environment. If there is another job for me in the future, I will be prepared with the help of your channel. You are a great teacher!

  • @Yannis2022
    @Yannis2022 2 года назад +10

    Your advice is extremely effective and works immediately. However, I came to realize it's not always appreciated in a group of coworkers if a person suddenly seem to have tools for almost all negative situations and thus become less fragile and less possible to be unwillingly forced in certain directions by peer pressure for example.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +13

      And we don't care if people do not appreciate the necessary boundaries we set for ourselves, right??

    • @Yannis2022
      @Yannis2022 2 года назад +6

      @@TheWizardOfWords Thanks, it would be interesting and useful if you could refer to one of your videos on how to respond to someone in for example management who doesn't respect the personal boundaries to remain the emotional control of the employee.

  • @margaserrano471
    @margaserrano471 2 года назад +15

    Dan “ Master” O’ Connor, I take my hat off to you 🙌🏻 I follow you from Uk and I have to say that every video you post gives me the opportunity to learn new ways to be MORE loving while communicating in a more powerful , firm and eloquent way.
    Keep sharing your knowledge with us please!
    Gracias / Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +2

      De nada, and thank you so much for your kind words, Marga. I will keep putting these out, and if you want to take a deeper dive, go to danoconnortraining.com. :)

    • @margaserrano471
      @margaserrano471 2 года назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords I truly appreciate that you take your time to reply to most of the questions posted on your videos ❤️To me, it shows that you truly care and nowadays, that is rare !
      I will check your website as you have suggested.
      Saludos desde Uk

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      OK :). thanks, Marga.

  • @happycappy9606
    @happycappy9606 2 года назад +12

    I’m going to try this next time someone personal attacks me at work. It’s been happening a lot at my current workplace.
    Last week we were on a team call and a coworker blatantly called me out to my manager and I saw the message right on his screen because my manager was sharing screens through zoom with the whole team. boy was I hurt by that. I felt humiliated and disrespected. I wish I had the words to address that in the moment. I waited until the call was over and addressed it to my manager stating I saw his screen and the msg my coworker sent to him that it was inappropriate and disrespectful. So I did eventually address it. I just need to get better at using these words in real-time as it’s happening.
    Shortly after, The coworker reached out to apologize since my manager addressed him. However I need to be able to stand up for myself the moment this happens. You gave me the words to do so. I shall practice.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +7

      Happy, absolutely--practice practice practice--and next time go to the coworker first, and the manager only if the coworker misrepresented your work or disrespected you personally. Always try to work it out directly with the offender--first.

    • @SydMountaineer
      @SydMountaineer 2 года назад +4

      (being 3rd party neutral here). Was the message just something that was trying to help the work situation being discussed? Or, maybe that person is, for some reason, not confident enough to talk to you directly, and wanted to sokve a problem but did it in the wrong way. Sometimes (not always) it's good to literally ask the person why they did that, in non-confrontational way, vs go directly to manager/boss, as sometimes people don't realize what they're doing, & sometimes don't have any ill-will. Being able to communicate with others is very difficult when we don't really know what they're thinking. Maybe it wasn't personal, maybe they were needing information right away?

  • @Ronin42069
    @Ronin42069 2 года назад +8

    I need this but geared for someone with BPD, ptsd, dyslexic, very poor social skills . I'm currently in a DBT class but your advice is really helping me finally respond to my dad in a healthy way. he's always giving unwanted advice.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +2

      So gratified to hear you're making progress with your dad and I'm helping along the way. I am hoping to help people struggling with the challenges you outlined, Joe.

  • @MissMelissa0007
    @MissMelissa0007 Год назад +2

    You are hysterical! Love it! You are so on POINT! Clear, concise and with meaning! Thank you!!

  • @vivianawolford6102
    @vivianawolford6102 Год назад +1

    Thank you 🙏 for the awsome advice and help I work in a very toxic environment and this has been very helpful to me🙏 Thank you.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      Vivana, I hope you're pressed the "join" button to become a member of my YT channel.

  • @jaywellington6504
    @jaywellington6504 5 месяцев назад

    Save yourself time and come here first.
    After searching the internet and then RUclips for (no exaggeration) 2 full days regarding a problem, I purposely came here last, to prove ONCE AGAIN that you, Dan would have the very best advice than anywhere on the internet........ I was right.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  5 месяцев назад

      Wow, Jay. Is my brother paying you to say these things? :). Thanks so much for your continued support. It is not lost on me.

  • @gerrimiller3491
    @gerrimiller3491 10 месяцев назад

    I sincerely appreciate your wisdom and life coach experience. I'm no one's doormat ever again😊

  • @AFLlight
    @AFLlight Год назад

    Finally! Thank you for being here.

  • @front2427
    @front2427 9 месяцев назад

    This guy is the voice inside my head.

  • @thewierd_thewonderful996
    @thewierd_thewonderful996 Год назад +1

    Could you also make a video on how we can respond to someone making fun of you in a demeaning way at work? and others grouping and laughing at it ?

  • @taniamartin6978
    @taniamartin6978 2 года назад +1

    This is so liberating that I am almost looking forward to the next MIL encounter!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +2

      Good, because the holidays do come around--almost every year. :)

  • @tudoisso4699
    @tudoisso4699 Год назад

    I’ve been binge watching your videos recently. I love how you actively use your communication tips in your video as well!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      Glad you like them! You should check out danoconnortraining.com next :)

  • @mishmash7987
    @mishmash7987 2 года назад +3

    Dan, thank you, thank you & thank you. I have been watching your videos which are so powerful. I work in a hostile environment and suffer a lot of bully. I will memorize everything you say, I need to start standing for my self because I always stay quiet and never respond to the insults.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +2

      Mish Mash, time to step out of the shadows and speak. Check out the course by the same name in the store at danoconnortraining.com. This might benefit you. Dan

    • @mishmash7987
      @mishmash7987 2 года назад +1

      Thank you, I feel like if you are extending your hand at me! Let me grab your hand 🙏

  • @tbrowntracyj
    @tbrowntracyj 3 месяца назад

    I am surprised how much I have not learned so these presentations are like concentrated form and instead of adding water it is funny how my own homework with skills like body language which comes to be as powerful as the words there is such a lot that silence can do when applied and to have confrontation isn't making me anxious it's giving me the chance to test myself practice I wish I had more people tso i can practice rather than just trying to avoid I find there's a real difference in how people respond to me the patience I receive is up and the trap of fighting to change people's perceptions isn't wasting my time

  • @charlenegoskowicz8220
    @charlenegoskowicz8220 Год назад

    Ah, Dan! You ARE the Wizard!

  • @vickigonya9432
    @vickigonya9432 Год назад

    I have to run but I will come back and finish watching. Love your videos !!!

  • @Kiska503
    @Kiska503 4 месяца назад

    Love these tips. Seriously amazing. I’m so happy I found your channel 😊been looking for a channel like this for long time now. Happy 😃 🎉

  • @lauraon
    @lauraon 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you Dan! We all like to be “nice” and “take the high road” but with some people that backfires. Definitely adding this to my “Favorite Dan OConnor” playlist ❤

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  9 месяцев назад

      Thank you and thank you so much for your membership, Lauraon!

  • @alidasfireflies930
    @alidasfireflies930 2 года назад

    Holy shit. You are so on it. Thanks for existing.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      I think we should first consider thanking my mother and father :) :)

  • @evelaughs
    @evelaughs Год назад +1

    Thank you for this channel.I'm super stoked to watch these,filled with nuggets of wisdom.

  • @kaycarter492
    @kaycarter492 Год назад

    Fantastic I’m going to try that. Thank you

  • @c7eye
    @c7eye Год назад

    Right On !!!!!!

  • @TanyaPhilipovich
    @TanyaPhilipovich Год назад

    Ahmaghad I love you!!! Thanks for teaching us these amazing tools! Great tip about practicing as well, I always get super emotional and my voice gets high and squeaky when I have to have difficult conversations. Practice, I shall!

  • @lubnala1234
    @lubnala1234 Год назад

    I love love love your videos, the way you speak, your reactions,how you’re choosing your words . THANK YOU !!

  • @tonette1813
    @tonette1813 9 месяцев назад

    Using their name is powerful

  • @NaimaG12
    @NaimaG12 2 года назад +1

    This was friggin amazing! Thank you for this Dan!!

  • @domsigno41
    @domsigno41 6 месяцев назад

    Your so smart and emotionally intelligent I love your videos thank you.

  • @desertpatient
    @desertpatient 9 месяцев назад

    Thanks bunches

  • @Bictionary
    @Bictionary Год назад

    I love you. You are the best and life saver I have been needing for 1000% thankyou so much you are amazing and so funny I love u!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      You're so welcome, Claudia. And much love back to you.

  • @ericac.4316
    @ericac.4316 Год назад

    Love this!! Thank you 😊

  • @ginpepper
    @ginpepper 2 года назад +1

    Wait for it
    Almost there
    Good Evening Dan
    I learn something valuable w every video I watch of yours. TY!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      😍😎🙃. Thanks, Gina!

    • @ginpepper
      @ginpepper 2 года назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords You’re Welcome ☺️

  • @persiusk
    @persiusk 2 года назад +2

    I love this as usual! I need to work on being a buttinski. I get so excited about certain research and projects at my work I tend to insert myself without being invited. I don’t really want to stop doing it because the projects are fascinating, but I don’t like the idea that it might be annoying others.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +3

      Maybe show interest without criticism? That works for everyone, Persiusk.

    • @persiusk
      @persiusk 2 года назад +1

      @@TheWizardOfWords thanks Dan! Do you think it would help if I shared my research and projects ? I haven’t been kicked out of anyone else’s experiments yet. Plus I have a bit more experience than most of my coworkers so they come to me when they have problems or for troubleshooting, but I’d love to be more involved in the planning and beginning stages. I for sure don’t want to be critical. I am genuinely interested and wish for their success.

  • @RubyJay_
    @RubyJay_ 10 месяцев назад

    This is gold 🎉

  • @sophieere4828
    @sophieere4828 4 месяца назад

    I just love your advice ❤

  • @alexandriaschulz9374
    @alexandriaschulz9374 2 года назад +7

    The Joe "manlihood" skit w/ the "HeyHEYHEYHeY!"...😂 Bravo!👏🙌 LOVED this thank YOU😂💖🙏

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +1

      Glad you liked it, Alexandria, and I hope you're a subscriber and a VIP.

    • @margaserrano471
      @margaserrano471 2 года назад +1

      I agree with you Alexandria . I laughed so much with the hey hey hey !! Dan is so witty and funny while he helps us to be better communicators🤜🏼🤛🏼

    • @penimeth6472
      @penimeth6472 2 года назад

      Same 😂

  • @eltera5792
    @eltera5792 2 года назад

    Dan, you rock!!! Thank you!!!

  • @gracemoore1835
    @gracemoore1835 8 месяцев назад

    Wish I could have you speak for me. You’re great!

  • @celpaz4584
    @celpaz4584 2 года назад

    Beautiful!!!!
    Wish I would've watched this before

  • @neferzoe
    @neferzoe Год назад

    You’re the best😊

  • @jod6cindy
    @jod6cindy 2 года назад +3

    Dan, when someone lays what is, unquestionably, a nasty/condescending/disrespectful or overly sarcastic comment on a person, is it okay for that person to just stare at the offender for a moment or two, and then just walk away from them, in total silence? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that (although I haven't done it yet). Thank you very much for your work here.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +4

      Totally and absolutely it would be an excellent response.

  • @fresapez
    @fresapez Год назад

    Dan my darling you are THE BEST

  • @DSmith-e5e
    @DSmith-e5e 9 месяцев назад

    Sounds like me, holy Hollyrock , you sound like this vixen i just adore myself! Assertive.

  • @maryd8370
    @maryd8370 2 года назад +1

    Dan , you present your advice in such a wonderful way! I’m laughing my a- off! Manlihood! Too funny. Your humor makes it easy to remember the message! Thank you!

  • @DJ-fh7xn
    @DJ-fh7xn Год назад

    Hi Dan,. Thanks so much. Best one yet for me.

  • @AndreaStrand-nu8ns
    @AndreaStrand-nu8ns 7 месяцев назад

    Thank u you are awesome

  • @tarawalsh-arpaia3928
    @tarawalsh-arpaia3928 Год назад +1

    Dear Dan again, so my sister told me a bit more about her colleague's issue at work. I won't go into it all here but this woman is the Legal Department for the agency. As a lawyer myself, I know how valuable this role is because it is our job to see LIABILITY WAITING TO HAPPEN wherever we go and sort it all out BEFORE the proverbial shit hits the fan. However, it may appear to some, since there aren't non-stop lawsuits thanks to us, that she isn't really doing anything important. So, while I am well aware that men have professional challenges as well with dinosaur mentalities, esp men of colour or LGBTQ etc.
    I think, it would be an AMAZINGLY important thing for you to do a video, rather like the one you have done here (which I sent on to them) addressing this type of dinosaur culture in the workplace. The GIFT video was the one they asked me for. I've already drafted half a letter for them using the G part. It's like being born anew!
    Some staff have jobs that require a great deal of quiet concentration and so have offices with doors. She was just advised in a meeting of dinosaurs that she would have to leave her office asap. She was angry with herself for tearing up. I get that. It's an awful feeling. So, what say you Master Dan?

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад +4

      tarawalsh-arpai, please write me at dan@danoconnortraining.com and review the entire story of your sister, if you would be so kind. I think you mentioned her in a previous post and are now elaborating, and if I could see it all in one place, that would be helpful. And also--do you work at the same company as your sister? You are both attorneys? I think my brain is spinning, and an email directly to me will straighten it all out and then I can respond.
      Your comment about "liability waiting to happen" reminds me once again of my grandfather. I sometimes mention him in my posts. He was a federal judge. He was best known for making the 1957 Little Rock High School decision that I know you covered in law school as part of Brown v Board of Education. Ronald N. Davies. We'd be in a restaurant, for example, and he'd see some loose rug by the entrance. Invariably he'd say "Look at that, Dan. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen." If he used that expression once, he used it a hundred times. He also expressed the sentiment often that it is the job of the attorney to resolve issues before they become the subject of litigation. He had no time for attorneys he considered paper-pushers and rainmen--when they could have been engaging in arbitration and compromise on behalf of their clients, thereby saving their clients a fortune in litigation fees. I greatly admired him. He was a force with whom to be reckoned, yet one of the kindest, most inclusive men I've ever known. If you were in trouble, he's the one you'd want on your side :)

    • @tarawalsh-arpaia3928
      @tarawalsh-arpaia3928 Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords Your grandfather was the judge in the Brown case!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am from New York but mostly practiced in the UK. Still, that is one of those cases tat everyone knows, law school or not. You have some pedigree Dan!
      I will let you know the entire story of my sister's colleague. We don't work together. I am the lawyer, as is her colleague. My sister is the National Spokesperson or strategic communications specialist for the Federal National Park Service. I was so delighted when she asked me for your video link, which I had shared on FB. I told her, 'you MUST listen to this man. He is us in one head. But better.
      BTW I have really been using so many of your lessons lately. I kept thinking I would never remember this or that in the moment and it turns out I actually did. A moment that would normally have turned into a major conflict with my daughter...I suddenly and calmly tuned toward her and out of my mouth came : 'I know how much you appreciate that I walk your dog and that I appreciate that you vacuum every day. I suggest....' I forget the rest but her face! She was a tad stunned at first but we had a proper exchange and no one (meaning me) ended up in emotional smithereens!
      Thank you for everything. I am sure you will know just the right approach to the issues in my sister's office culture (ancient dinosaur in general).

    • @stummkind
      @stummkind Год назад

      ​@@TheWizardOfWordsthe one who knows knows ,🌝

  • @banziimavusotv
    @banziimavusotv 2 года назад

    Thank you Dan 🤍🙏🏼

  • @ebstudio9525
    @ebstudio9525 2 года назад

    Here's one for ya! I was just told by a co-worker "thanks for chiming in" - thanks for chiming in? Is that what you call it? Because I call it, Im in charge of this area and you just made five mistakes that are wasting time, but yet I'm "chiming in" - yeah, don't say that to people.

  • @laurayeesnover631
    @laurayeesnover631 2 месяца назад

    Your videos are the best. Facial expressions priceless! I've been watching your videos for years. Please tell us the secret to not having wrinkles! Your face never changes! Good diet? No sun?

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 месяца назад +1

      Well thank you! I live in Mexico most of the time, but avoid the sun. I've used some sort of facial serum since I was in high school. My diet is TERRIBLE. Now about that botox . . . . Oh, yes--some of my videos use a filter, too. It's too bad we can't carry that filter around with us :)

  • @MsPriyaLal
    @MsPriyaLal 2 года назад

    I'm working on dealing with when someone says Well no one else seems to have this problem. And I know that lots of people have that problem.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      Yes, among other things, a comment such as that one is gaslighting. Be sure to watch the two videos on gaslighting, PriShah.

  • @kshamangiraut
    @kshamangiraut 2 года назад

    I wait for your videos.. I would love to join your coaching program.

  • @kevinmarshall7981
    @kevinmarshall7981 Год назад

    Thanks

  • @Deba7777
    @Deba7777 2 года назад

    Very good ideas, thank you!

  • @SheThe1Who
    @SheThe1Who 2 года назад

    Bravo!

  • @maureen4566
    @maureen4566 Год назад

    Some people keep in going and going and going and getting out of control. I realize that most people love to argue and even when I explain and explain and explain, people love to turn it back on me and justify their bad behavior.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      Maureen, I hope you see that my videos don't ever involve extensive explaining of your own actions.

  • @jonathanvermillion7263
    @jonathanvermillion7263 Год назад

    Can we get a video on the reason behind why we say things? Establish dominance or not be effected ect like what is the subtext of what we are dealing with?

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      If you're looking for theory, Jonathan, this is the wrong place to look. You want to be effective? I will help with the words. You want to be theoretical? There are hundreds of people online who will talk theory until the cows come home.

  • @jajajajaja357
    @jajajajaja357 14 дней назад

    How is it that coming to this channel desperate for advice on how to handle a younger less educated less experienced over stepping narcissistic bully colleague……..always ends up with laughing out loud hysterically…..in a way that only very very very few amazing movies manage to do?? So even of I did not put your advice into practice yet I already feel so much better because you gifted me a good good laugh. Thank you for your amazing work.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  13 дней назад

      You are welcome, @jajajajaja357 I believe strongly that learning doesn't have to be boring :)

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  13 дней назад

      Thank YOU @jajajajaja357.

  • @aliciatorres91
    @aliciatorres91 2 года назад

    So classy! 😊

  • @eia2704
    @eia2704 Год назад

    Maaaaannnn i wanna hug you buddy. I have a new mentor 🎉

  • @crazymikeyx100
    @crazymikeyx100 Год назад

    So incredibly helpful for the workplace! Thank you Dan! And also… 6:01. 😂😂😂

  • @finnthomas2844
    @finnthomas2844 Год назад

    Gold ❤

  • @tarawalsh-arpaia3928
    @tarawalsh-arpaia3928 Год назад

    Dan, it's Tara again with a new name. Anyway, since I share all your videos on FB, I was happily surprised when my sister, of all people, asked me for one of your links again since one of her colleagues at the Federal NPS could really use it right then. Then she found it again on my home page. So, all I know is that some Federal situation was handled with GIFT today. Nice work! BTW I realise I have read your book ages ago. I have also quoted it numerous times. Great titles, right to the point. Best to you!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      Very happy to have you on board, Tara. And together we are GIFTing the federal government. Not a bad day's work for us.

    • @tarawalsh-arpaia3928
      @tarawalsh-arpaia3928 Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords You have no idea! They specifically asked me for that video of yours today. I have already left a long comment to you about it. Their Head of Legal asked for it! I sent them the one on Insults at Work as well. It's a bit of a 'dinosaur culture' in which they work so this will be powerful for them. Thank you so much!

  • @TheFredrico77
    @TheFredrico77 2 года назад

    Great stuff Dan. 👏 Funny as well 🤣 thanks Dan.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +1

      My pleasure, Dave!

    • @CS-pl1re
      @CS-pl1re 2 года назад

      What if Its your Boss ? How do you respond ?

  • @bookstrap8877
    @bookstrap8877 2 года назад

    I'm so glad I found you. You are so helpful. I have a question. I'm on a board of directors for a non profit. There was a task that had a deadline and no one was working on this task. So, I wrote out what we needed to get publicized. Sent it to our proof reading committee. We had conversations via email for suggestions and changes. Then I sent it to the board, via email, for final appoval and no one responded. The deadline passed. At the board meeing, I talked about this. When I said no one responded, a board member said to me, "It is no anyones responsiblity to respond to you. You should not have done that. It's Joe's responsibility". How do I respond to digs like that? When it was reviewed by people, no one said have Joe do it. I reached out to Joe and he didn't know why it's in his lap.
    At the board meeting everyone talked about how we missed the deadline, we need to get in touch with Joe (missed this meeting) and we need to vote on a new deadline. I was dumbfounded. I did all that work. We would not have missed the deadline if people just gave a final okay.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      Sounds as though there is more ego and arrogance than common sense in those sitting on your board, Bookstrap. I would absolutely call a board meeting and ask that duties and responsibilities be clearly written out, so this type of thing doesn't happen again. Your initiative should have been rewarded rather than criticized. You were not saying that people MUST respond to your email, but clearly it would have been to the advantage of the board to do so. Make sure the responsibilities are spelled out clearly, Bookstrap.

  • @hiya9697
    @hiya9697 2 года назад +1

    Thanks!….. a Melanie 🤗

  • @IMBLESSED-oe6dl
    @IMBLESSED-oe6dl 9 месяцев назад

    Love it ❤️

  • @joshuanun8192
    @joshuanun8192 2 года назад

    Wow! I love your channel!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      Thank you so much. I hope you subscribed and share.

  • @jorgebaeza7863
    @jorgebaeza7863 2 года назад +1

    Hello dan! fun and interesting 😉

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад

      Well hello Jorge, and thank you so much for becoming a VIP member. As a VIP you're entitled to all my training, and I know you can't get enough of me :) :)

  • @prissypacheco2860
    @prissypacheco2860 2 года назад +1

    Nice video.

  • @innanbordes2018
    @innanbordes2018 2 года назад

    Love it.

  • @FlavellaLAmour
    @FlavellaLAmour 2 года назад

    I need to learn these lines

  • @mskinetik
    @mskinetik 2 года назад +7

    Please consider doing a video on how to respond to single shaming by co-workers, family and friends. I think there are a lot of people who would appreciate some pointers on that. Thank you 💖

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +7

      ms kinetik, I have a few solutions for you. The first might be: "I enjoy my life just as it is, but I'll be sure to come to you if I ever need advice. At present, I don't." The second might be--"You cross a boundary when you venture into my personal life. Is there a reason you're doing this? I'd prefer you not do it." And the third is a bit harsher, and you'll know when to use it. "Let's make a deal. You handle your personal life. I'll handle mine. Will that work for you?"

    • @mskinetik
      @mskinetik 2 года назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords Thank you! One of those should do the trick nicely! I'm learning I actually do have a backbone, thanks to you 💖 You are an amazing teacher, thanks for sharing!

    • @clementekpo7606
      @clementekpo7606 Год назад

      You're eloquent mr wizard 🔥

  • @MsBloo
    @MsBloo 2 года назад

    Would you be open to doing a video on how to handle being in an interview or meeting with someone who tends to monologue, as in, talk for long stretches of time to simply chew up time. Leaving you no room to talk or ask questions of your own?

  • @sunshinerainbows4627
    @sunshinerainbows4627 2 года назад

    Curious. When you say "we should stop here" and use the broken record technique.... would this be a way to get a person to listen when you say, "No, I don't want you to do this or that". Made a promise to myself to stop buying supplies for the company on my dime. Have done this for a while and the return on the investment is low (also, companies make millions, they should buy the nickel and dime stuff). A temporary worker came in for a small job, saw something and immediately said, "I'll get this for you". Now, the promise was important to me, she flat out would not listen no matter how I explained it, got mad, and made it like I was doing something wrong (got weird vibes yet she wasn't listening). Struggling bunches with the not listening part. People steamroll over, speak over, and I don't understand what has caused the shift. Example: "You're going to work tomorrow" versus "Will you/can you work tomorrow?" OR the best one was "You're bringing this home"....really? Where was I when this was discussed. Answer: Not present. Don't understand the shift between telling versus asking. Better stop and keep watching 👀 your videos. TY!

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +3

      The broken record is a priceless technique for making your point. "Sunshine, I'd really like you to go out and make this run."
      You: "No, I can't do that today."
      "Seriously, Sunshine, I'd like you to make this run.""
      You: "No, I can't do that today.""
      BUT WHY???
      You: "No, I can't do that today.""
      Get the message? You are not distracted by the why and wherefore. THE ANSWER IS NO and use the broken record to make your point--a thousand times if necessary and don't be distracted. And btw, this works great with children--the world's best at distracting.

  • @ilovelifely
    @ilovelifely 6 месяцев назад

    “In your position” lol

  • @hawaiianrainbow1080
    @hawaiianrainbow1080 Год назад

    This video is GOLD (right Mary?)! I cannot stop laughing!

  • @spice8831
    @spice8831 Год назад

    Yr so funny. Made me laugh but yes it’s no doubt very effective.

  • @princessrosy403
    @princessrosy403 Год назад

    YOURE AMAZING !!!!! GM !!!!!😅😂😂❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊😊

  • @geddon436
    @geddon436 Год назад

    Dan, you mentioned about self-love, I believe one of core problems is not loving myself, do you know anyone who dealt with that problem? How did they overcome it?

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад

      Geddon, I'd suggest talking to people you love about this, and I'd also suggest reading books on the topic--ones that speak to you.

    • @geddon436
      @geddon436 Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords thank you for responding.

    • @geddon436
      @geddon436 Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords Thank you for answering my question

  • @ashleyb.8217
    @ashleyb.8217 2 года назад

    Reading… The workplace addition lol

  • @amberg4131
    @amberg4131 2 года назад

    I have a question but I want to try to get a mindset for this situation but I'm not sure if it's totally appropriate. So I am an addict. I first worked at this diner when I was actively using and over my 4 years working there,I did mostly overnights and alot of double shifts. This place was open 24 hrs before covid so the money kept feeding my addiction. I'm getting to my question I promise. I got sober and came back to the same job had a few months sober,relapsed,stayed sober over 1 year then relapsed again and when the place sht Down from covid, I ran another year til able to get into rehab and built a better support system of staying sober. I really see my purpose. That being said I had a family member (family owned restaurant) not mine but the owners family was always sending me home early,cutting me from the schedule,and a host (not fam) was always making snude comments. Now the one host family is pretty professional and won't act out Ina a street girl way since her exp..but this other host is more street tough. Anyway finally my question,I want to make things right but I also like the restaurant. It's not open 24 hrs anymore with covid and I realized I want to go back to school so I'd be only working part-time 5pm to 10..maybe 11 the latest. It has been over 2 years and a few months since I've worked there. So I'm half in at working here again bc it's easy money,it's not physically demanding and the money can be good til after Xmas afterwards I may find another job if it's slow. We used to be a Poppin restaurant I mean bar rushes,events,school events so many people.but now covid has laws with serving alcohol and the hours we are allowed to stay open. I interviewed for other places but the one place isn't open since it's almost done being built. I can work at another place being paid hourly at a higher pay then standard waitress min wage, but the hours would be either as late as the last bus home or past it. Other places I haven't had my interview yet. I guess finally what I'm trying to say is after all this time, is there anything I can say or do to break the ice and make people trust me. I mean if someone misplaces something and they forget but know someone with an addict past they automatically assume your the culprit. It's just the stigma associated with it. I really would hate to have to learn a newenu and whole new way of running stuff. I got along with so many different people and part of me wants to just show everyone that I'm not a f*CK up that just behaves like this. I have gone thru so much that I also mistakenly talked to my coworkers about in the past. Most of them work days or arnt there anymore. However I still am concerned with the potential toxic work environment with these two employees. We used to have an awesome overnight manager who was also family but since the new covid alcohol laws, he just has been selling houses as his main career. Feel free to delete if you don't believe you can answer. Trying to break it into an easier question I think I should have just asked how do you deal with employees who belittle you over past mistakes that you feel you've taken responsibility for but other criticized and spewed hateful comments when all I was doing was harming/numbing myself.? I had acknowledged that what my behavior does to others but I didn't steal money, I never had a bad customer interaction where I reacted or responded wrongly,I never stole from any employees,I believe I borrowed money from some but paid them all back the last time..I've been looking into so many videos with toxic work environment, condescending managers etc but most of the examples were when you wernt doing anything wrong.i think we joked about it being told 10 times and after the 1 st warning the it's you but how do you move On from that? Or am I just worrying for nothing since it's been over 2 years and who remembers the last interactions with every specific person?

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +1

      Amber, if the topic comes up and people are belittling you or demeaning you in any fashion you might say "I don't wish to discuss my past behavior with you, and don't consider your judgment relevant. Please deal with your life issues, and I'll deal with mine." Then go away and put that person and his/her comments behind you. Do NOT engage any further. Stop talking about the topic entirely. Switch to a new one or smile and walk away. Memorize that line--or a similar one with which you're comfortable--and repeat it over and over again whenever the occasion arises. You will find that if you do not take the bait, the speaker will not be rewarded, and will eventually fish elsewhere.

  • @cassieblessed6430
    @cassieblessed6430 10 месяцев назад

    It’s me. I am Dan 😂😂

  • @BczimHappy
    @BczimHappy 2 года назад

    How to response to insults coming from upper level than me .. like for example the delay in processing client request wasn't because of my but because of a person from a higher level , and when the client complained this person sent an email and reported this complaint and put my managers in CC blaming me "the service level" instead of telling the truth and take the responsibility

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  2 года назад +3

      Speak to your manager, with proof in hand. Do NOTHING via email. Tell your manager precisely what happened and your role in it. Tell your manager your goal is to make certain that he/she knows your work did not cause the problem. If your manager is working from a distance, then yes, send an email. Don't reference your superior's version. Just tell your own.

    • @BczimHappy
      @BczimHappy 2 года назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords thank you very much specially for the last line ! I appreciate sir

  • @nicolewinters
    @nicolewinters 2 года назад +1

    My supervisor is MM. I told other departments everyone left because of MM. MM is micromanagement 😂

  • @tp8449
    @tp8449 Год назад

    Do these tips apply to online arguments neighbors May drag you into?

  • @s1lenc7
    @s1lenc7 11 месяцев назад

    It took me an hour to get thru this 10 minute long vid because I had to constantly rewind from the beginning

  • @Werewolf1982
    @Werewolf1982 2 года назад

    Have a question for you if you could help me to answer this question so a co-worker is pissing me off I always not doing their share of the work third shift people are getting on my nerves cuz every time I come in I have to do their work and it's like harder for me cuz I'm disabled for 4"11 and are you cold or crazy don't have to do it like garbage or cleaning the bathrooms I work at a company named kuikTrip this coworker pissed me off with me I'm not even helping me when I needed help I almost got to spending good morning I had a lift a 75 pound coughing brown bag full of coffee grounds couldn't even pick it up barely and I was struggling no one came to help afternoon I went home cuz of my wrist when it's red

  • @vickigonya9432
    @vickigonya9432 Год назад

    Lol !!!!! You are so funny!!😂 ❤ cracks me up!!!! I want to hear you at your MOST SEERING SARDONIC, CATTY, SARCASTIC, VENOMOUS!!!! THATCwould be a thing of beauty😂😂😂

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад +1

      I hope you never hear me say catty, venomous things. That would not be a thing of beauty. Responding mindfully but effectively by spotlighting bad behavior rather than responding to it in kind--THAT is a thing of beauty.

    • @vickigonya9432
      @vickigonya9432 Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWordsAgreed, still there are those so deserving. I'm happily retired so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Pulled out of all social situations. Peaceful now😍

  • @Werewolf1982
    @Werewolf1982 2 года назад

    And I pulled my wrist for a couple days not only that I got stung by a bee I came in mad cuz I saw garbage all over the parking lot and they were not busy why can't I do too explain this to the boss

  • @56348u
    @56348u Год назад

    At my workplace, no one talks to me, only when it's absolutely necessary. I'm the only person of colour. When I started, I greeted people when I came in but I discovered that was not welcome, so I stopped. But they talk amongst themselves.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Год назад +1

      Are you sure you're working in the right company? Or is this something you feel you can tolerate--because you certainly shouldn't have to tolerate it.

    • @56348u
      @56348u Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords yeah, certainly not the right company, that's why I'm feverishly applying.

    • @56348u
      @56348u Год назад

      @@TheWizardOfWords you awesome by the way. I actually watch your videos & type notes so I remember all these 💎 gems! Thank you!

  • @mechanicgirlexpat945
    @mechanicgirlexpat945 Год назад

    How about someone who portray they are angel with angelic face to everyone and treat you different and talking to you rudely