Wow, this so reminds me of a woman who was my boss in state government. "Bully" doesn't even begin to describe her. She was also a saboteur. Thank God I only worked for her for about nine months and finally escaped to a different agency. Worst nine months of any job I had ever had - and, because she was management supported by equally bad management, there really weren't any options other than to leave. Psychopath, sociopaths, and other narcissists seem to prosper in management.
@@CopperMoon4747 Haha! Men aren't the only crazy, nasty managers! I think that leaving is all we can do, in such situations. Honesty and doing the right thing are not simply not part of the agenda of such people. Well, at least it paid the bills while we were there, right?
@@TheWizardOfWordsYES! Even worse are the cluster-b personality-disordered coworkers who are given a crumb of supervisory responsibility who in turn abuse the little power given to them and target other coworkers who are just trying to do a good job and get through the day. When the lies, gaslighting and bullying starts happening out of nowhere: the best thing is to start finding a new job if grey-rocking isn't working. 🤷🏻♀️✌️✨
Solid advice...unfortunately, when you work in a toxic work environment, the bully usually has backers in management. I once had a supervisor who said 'managers pick people like themselves'. If you have toxic bullies in the workplace, 90% of the time, they've got managers who are equally bullies. Those managers know and silently applaud the behavior.
This is accurate. One of the VP’s at my former employer (I resigned earlier this year 2024) picked a Director who has the same narc traits as him to oversee our office. They are empty shells. No empathy no compassion and NO remorse.
@@rainestorm762smart. I’ve learned to document everything. It has come in handy when you need exact times and dates and the conversation details. Also if there were anyone else who heard it or were part of it. Even better if you can get that person to agree to confirm it if you need it. Because when they try to twist a conversation that happened 3 months later to their boss thinking you wouldn’t remember, you have a quick way to access and refresh your memory. Catch those liars
I love my department and once I told the manager about the bullying, I was told, “maybe it’s time for you to leave microbiology.” I’m like why do I have to leave because of them I love my work and my area. I’m glad the supervisor was just as outraged ad me. The company, which is a hospital a love the emergency department, is a revolving door. We’be lost half over half of our staff and I’ve only been there for less than a year
And then there's the "passive" bullies; the covertly malicious types, that act so demure. Know how to butter people up... they provoke their target, overstep boundaries, undermine, sabotage, insult, etc. When the target stands up appropriately, the bully shrinks into their quiet shell, target's strength is seen as a problem.. towards the malicious victim, who claim target ,"makes them uncomfortable"... Masterful manipulators
This is good advice for someone that isn’t a full blown narcissist or sociopath but for someone that just operates at a more primitive level. If it’s a narcissist they’re going to find a way to get you back no matter what and it will turn into a never ending battle.
Nick, if you're dealing with a true narcissist (as opposed to what most of us are dealing with, namely a difficult person) or a sociopath, stand up to them with your body language, then smile and walk away. That is what I would do.
SPOT ON!!! When you wrestle with a pig you both and up dirty but the pig loves it. I feel like I have evolved past the whole "pee on the fire hydrant after another dog" for dominance thing.
@@TheWizardOfWords I've never met a narcissist that doesn't eventually falsely accuse you at work in an attempt to get you fired. Often times the false accusations comes from the narc boss himself. So, smile, and walk away to the unemployment office? Or lawyer?
Dealing with real narcissists is a totally different situation. If they've targeted you, and you don't think it's possible to get everyone to see their narcissistic behavior because they're blinded by their fake persona, the only thing you can do is find another job. Narcissists never stop, never see the errors of their ways, and never EVER change. They're not normal people. In fact, most people think they're evil. After what I've witnessed I tend to agree.
High functioning, low needs neurodivergent here. Speaking from personal experience of being bullied in most social settings. Most people are still too close to their primal behaviors. I’ve learned that matching energy works but then they just turn to the snakey behavior and will turn to other means of diminishing others. Including but not limited to turning the team against you or making false accusations to managers. I’ve fought my situation with HR departments several times. No attorneys, no court. I keep my job and people stay way the hell out of my way. Catch 22 because no man is an island
@@keylanoslokj1806 glad you asked. Documented all actions involving myself and others. Our director of operations even stated I have a high level of awareness. Unfortunately it feels like you have to be as a neurodivergent and we are but at that level it’s exhausting. I made impressions and allies with people far higher than myself early on. Unfortunately I moved from my home of 40 years and it’s proving to be a challenge. Documentation has still saved my butt without having a network
You are correct regarding being close to our primal behaviors. The science proves we are big brained chimpanzees. Expecting different behavior is to expect something out of the natural order.
@@catherinebullock9748 yet through divine repentance and grace we can change this primal nature. We cannot rationalise our weaknesses and take them for granted
37f undiagnosed Autistic here. You're so right. I think we elicit the Uncanny Valley reaction in people. Luckily I'm pretty good at masking, and above average attractiveness, which honestly, I believe helps a lot when my mask does fail. I'm also very vocal about my diagnosed ADHD, and judicious but open about my undiagnosed autism, and I believe that helps, too.
Good question. In my opinion, their behavior is a power trip going to a primal level & their upbringing can affect their personality. I read an article about how sociopath on a minor level exist such as the coworker that may lie, take credit for your idea, sabotage you with no remorse to get ahead at work, within a family or circle of friends.
After a really fun day out with my sister, I told her how much fun she is and how glad I that we hang out. I told her that my favorite days are when we hang out for a day together. Several months later, she died unexpectedly. So many years later, every time I think about her I’m grateful I was able to say those words to her.
I once had a workplace bully corner me in the office carpark, telling me I needed to cancel my day off because she wanted that day off. Another time she screamed at me for losing something that I'd never even seen (it turned out she'd misplaced it). She was obviously trying to create a bullying dynamic with me. I refused to change my day off but I did leave that workplace soon after as I couldn't be bothered with months of trying to stand up to such nasty, aggressive behaviour that I could see the management turning a blind eye to. Workplace bullying is so common and such a big problem. It doesn't tend to happen if management don't allow it, but if they're weak, bullies themselves or just can't see it it can really escalate. It's why self employment is always my preferred state. The advice about not showing submission is good, bullies are cowards and its important to stand up to them.
I was the team lead in my department and was acting a little too bossy. My co-worker said, “who are you taking to?” And, I reconsidered. I was acting in a way I also didn’t agree with so I stopped being so bossy and started asking to assign tasks rather than commanding them.
Good for you for catching it. When your staff feels a sense of ownership of the job and the project in question, the initiative, dedication, and the quality of the work skyrockets. Management is about empowering the staff by supplying the materials they need, and most important: GET OUT OF THEIR WAY! They will come to you if they need help, but their pride will push them to do as much of it on their own as possible. When your staff knows you've got their backs they will work very hard for you indeed. When they've done a great job, sure doesn't hurt to let them know what their good work means to the department. It's the gracious thing to do, and in no way compromises your authority. Good luck.
That's not a bully. You felt guilt for doing it. A true bully does it from a place of targeted envy and possessive jealousy. The child brain that was not taught boundaries or social respect.
As a woman, I can say that some women have a thing about establishing dominance over other women - maybe it's a competition thing. Over the course of my life, I've crossed paths with many females like this including my older sister. I think my relationship with her set the stage for how I let other women treat me. Because I've never liked confrontation, I've played the passive role often when I should have done the things described in this video. I learned to protect myself by avoiding people who I could see were this way, but I'm getting better at using the kinds of techniques described in this video.
This really resonates with me. I can always predict with certainty that I will encounter a woman at my new workplace who'll make comments about my appearance. They're usually seemingly complimentary but they belie some envy. I'm tall, slender and quiet and have always been targetted by a female bully, usually older and heavier, at every workplace I've ever had. I could be quietly warming my packed lunch in the kitchen and like clockwork, they'll make a snide comment about my food. The last one said that it was unfair that I didn't put on weight during COVID, whereas she did. I just told her that we all have a gym membership benefit that she can use, just like I use mine. These types are insufferable.
@cualter I've had that happen to me, too. I'm hoping I can work from home as much as possible so those interactions are kept at a minimum. I had to leave a job once because the bullying got so bad.
@cualter Jealousy is a form of hatred, don't you think? You can't be friends with someone you're jealous of. So I've wanted to be friends with people but they find me threatening. I gave up competiveness a long time ago. So jealousy, sabotage, fierce unnecessary competition has kept me isolated. I guess I don't need those kinds of friends. I however haven't met too many women who are comfortable with themselves( at any size and age), we are generally mean and I think it's a shame. Grudge holding, bringing in flying monkeys, I'm so exhausted!
The step towards them is ALWAYS the key. I did that to a nasty coworker who is 30 years my senior. The shock was papablable. Luckily is backed off so I didn't need to pay a homeless man to cut his brakes
Dan is absolutely right. I’ve used this technique quite a few times- If I am out and about running errands by myself, and I would see and sense that someone is approaching me or exhibiting odd behavior (happens in parking lots a lot). What I’ll do is instead of showing that I am fearful, I will change my body language and pivot so that I’m walking toward the person like I am on mission. This sudden change in awareness and direction will work 9/10 to deter them from fucking with you. I’ve seen guys freeze mid walk, and even move away in their own sudden change of direction. Bullies or weirdos like to be the star of the show, but this….it takes seconds to reverse roles without allowing them any notice in the situation and creates a forceful prompt for hesitation which appears as weakness. Get the upper hand immediately and the outcome can change drastically in your favor.
I was raised by a severe personality disordered mother. I can't diagnose other people, but I have stated that behavior sure is familiar. It took me too many years, but I'm getting much better at dealing with them.
It's tough when it's your mother who has a personality disorder. However, like many others before you, you'll be OK because you recognize the situation and are dealing with it--hopefully mindfully :)
Same here, made my childhood and younger years a nightmare. Finally a friend who's a GP told me what was wrong with her. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't realize how much it had affected me until I finally had a reason for why she was the way she was.
In my opinion, you should never question a bully...that could elicit unnecessary conversation, and veer off to irrelevant issues. Bullies must be confronted with statements that are brief & to the point. A person at work once condescendingly said to me, "you're not listening". I told her (firmly) that I was looking in her direction and not interrupting, and could repeat what she said, so I was clearly listening... then I told her to never say that to me again (there were others around so I know she did it on purpose). She got embarrassed, nervously giggled and tried to explain it away...I said, "this isn't open to discussion. Just don't do it again". Problem solved... At a company (whose atmosphere was "off") I recently resigned from (2023), an employee (who everyone disliked) said something to try to insult me... I responded w/something equally insulting. I was standing & she, sitting...after my response, she dramatically & noisily got up from her chair and right in my face. I guess I was suppose to jump, run or back away but I didn't flinch...even a bit. Since she dramatically confronted me, I stood there awaiting her next move ...she was obviously surprised that I didn't back away...she (taller than me) touched me with her shoulder, then I shoved her shoulder hard enough that she stumbled back. I had no intention of having a "melee" AT WORK however she started it & I had no intention of backing down...even if I ended up getting hurt. There was no fight as others prevented it. Suffice to say, once things settled down, she was "measured" and respectful when she had to deal with me. I was bullied for some time in my life, and arrived at a point where I decided that I would put up w/it no longer. Now, when I recognize someone is trying to intimidate me, I never ask them why they are doing/saying that... I already know why...it's because they're an asshole. So no questions need be asked. I confidently tell them (without raising my voice... or I'll stop them mid-sentence), not to speak to me like that; "lower your voice" (if they're yelling), words to that effect. I'll be as brief as possible & will not interject any questions... I won't even ask if they "understand?" I could care less...once I've said my piece, I'm done and it's all over as far as I'm concerned. In any (or just about every) case, it works everytime. Bullies never expect to be confronted, esp. in front of others...and it's a reminder to bullies that not everyone will take their crap...no matter what.
Yes, as I said to Aaren--if you want a fight--this is the way to go. Give as good as you get. Now you have two bullies instead of one. If that's your goal, go for it.
@@TheWizardOfWordsI love your content, but respectfully disagree with your comment. Defending one’s self, by matching the bully’s energy doesn’t make him a bully too. And although your advice does work, you must understand that bullies aren’t always rational, intelligent or have the EQ, to “catch on” To context clues. Sometimes you just have to go “toe to toe”, and shut the bully down.
@@TASconfidential This is how toxic workplaces start. The only communication method is bullying. The only way of settling things is who is the biggest bully. If they push you and you push back you are no better than them (this was clearly not self defense as they barely brushed them). All you are trying to do is de-throne them. Like a bunch of ill behaved kids or a pack of wild dogs.
I'm so passive, and I always just sulk and kind of internalize when people pick on me at work lol. Thank you SO MUCH for these easy tools I can remember for next time!
Is it okay just to stare at them for a few seconds - while saying nothing - and then just walk away? At this point in my life, I'm just tired of engaging (in any way) with people who want to disrespect or humiliate me.
That is a method I find useful when someone says something in appropriate to me. I don’t always walk away but I do stand there looking at them saying nothing. It gets real awkward and I let it. Sometimes rude ppl think you’ll say something to them in response maybe they think you have to. You don’t.
I was once the most junior person in a meeting with some managers. The most senior manager spat the dummy yelling how he hated work that we had done. Every other manager sat there with heads down copping his abuse. After a pause - I was waiting for one of them to say something - I confidently and calmly said to the senior manager “well if you can be specific about what you have an issue with then we can address it”. Not sure why but that seemed to put him in his place because he suddenly became calm and cooperative. Maybe it was a polite way of saying hey act like a person and not an ape?? Someone later came to me and said how impressed they were with how I handled that manager.
In my view, you handled him perfectly. You put the spotlight on him and asked him to clarify. You were not rude or threatening--just clear and concise. Kudos to you. I'm sure that took courage.
I worked in 2 toxic work environments. The first toxic work environment I was dealing with 2 office bullies. My Supervisor at the time was the 2 bullies friends. I left that job. The next job I had, low and behold.... another toxic work environment with a bully!! I couldn't believe my luck!! Two toxic work environments!! This bully insulated me in front of other coworkers. Again the Supervisor was the bully's friend. Thank you for these tips!! I'm going to use your tips at work to deal with the bully.
The worst is when they dont train you then blame you for NOT knowing how to do something. This was Walmart in a nutshell 🙄 also two people not speaking or acknowledging my existence but giggling inside jokes in front of the "new girl" it makes life a living hell
That's done on purpose for two reasons: they're incompetent leaders with nothing to teach, and they don't want to equip a potentially better worker with the ability to outpace them!
I love the part about the emails with the closing response "I look forward to your help" because it suggests that the person is already a part of the team effort to accomplish what needs to be achieved in the bigger picture.
Great advice, wish I’d known this years ago but at least I’m understanding their behaviour from this video. Bullied twice in the workplace, lost both jobs due to the workplace bullying. Nobody wanted to know, as long as they’re leaving me alone mentality. Made me really ill. Grateful for your advice because when you understand it you can heal from it.
Idk if people are truly doormats. As for me it can go both ways, either I go totally ballistic on someone or I completely ignore them. It all depends on my mood.
@@studiosandi ouch that’s kinda harsh. Truth is we all have a back story but that doesn’t mean we’re weak. It’s actually quite the opposite to remain silent and calm when you really want to tear someone’s head off their neck!! This requires a lot of inner strength to remain tempered and not react to ignorant fools. My experience in dealing with bullies is if you confront one they return with backup. Their fragile ego gets bruised so they go and gather all their minions and come attack one woman. Therefore I’ve learned to choose my battles carefully rather than take on an entire group of overgrown secret groupies!
As a young, attractive, humble, hard working, master’s prepare female engineer whose sole goal was to help the clinicians and patients, … I was bullied by a middle aged woman in a group I had to work with a lot. Looking back I realize she was insecure, incompetent and scared of being found out. She was mean and only cared about playing politics … not helping our caregivers and patients.
You usually find that bullies are "insecure, incompetent, and scared of being found out." Well, some are competent--but the other two apply almost universally to bullies.
I'm a middle aged woman myself and am so embarrassed by my fellow middle aged ladies who are so often the rudest bullies in a workplace. Often they are poorly educated and feel threatened by other women who are educated and competent. I've gotten to the point where I just have no tolerance for their nonsense, they are old enough to figure out their insecurities.
The thing I love about getting older is you can suss out when someone’s just starting to see if they bully you. If you act assertively fast without causing a scene, it stops it from escalating any further.
I did this once at work. I went over to someone at afternoon break time. And I told him I really admired him. He’d come to Canada and had really applied himself to his job as an engineer. He’d found love and become a father. A good father. In so many ways he was a success story. It turned to be a pivotal moment for him. A possible time assessment of the last 7 years of his life lead him to look for other opportunities. He left our company for 3x the money in another engineering firm. He needed to be told his value was observed. So. It can enormously empowering to hear positive feedback. If you can, deliver it.
Sadly the workplace bullies I tend to run up against are the ones that appear so helpful or complimentary or cooperative to my face when others are near, but then do the heavy work of backstabbing when I'm gone and/or get abusive when it is only the 2 of us and there are no witnesses.
I stood up to my older sister who's a vicious bully. She stopped attacking me to my face. Now, she engages in my character assassination. And shes chosen family members who dont me or who dont like me anyway. Shes even told family friends. Ive heard the rumors of what shes doing. If i even try to defend myself I'll look worse. So she and all those ppl are no longer in my life.
Relying on anyone else for financial security will always create victims and bullies. It's unfortunate that we haven't yet invented a system that gives everyone some sense of financial freedom.
Totally agree, Crystal. Way too much distance between haves and have-nots and that distance is not good for either of them for thousands of reasons you and I could both give.
You are such an amazing teacher, healer source of encouragement and wisdom. They absolutely love you channel. I want to watch you everyday to start my day in a positive way
I had a bully at work who was caught raising her voice at me. Once reprimanded by Admin ( she’s twice my size) then bumped me into a doorway . Way tooo dangerous to move forward towards her. There were 2 of them , if had done what you said they are narcissistic and would have escalated rapidly. I finally stopped speaking to them and gave them their own space for my own safety.
Are you kidding? If you ask those questions they will then say no they aren’t trying to and make you look like the one making the big deal. Trust me I’ve tried being direct like that and it backfires every time. They then increase their connection with everyone else 100 fold and no one catches on. Literally no one.
That body language tip is spot on! I had a long term bully, and I was in therapy and working on myself. The current challenge was standing up straight and looking everyone in the eyes. She reacted like I'd slapped her! She tried to escalate, which made her cross lines and other people noticed. They saw me standing straight, calm, and 3 second staring. They saw her upset and raising her voice. They started asking why she was out of her area and messing with me. She didn't stop and back off. It was more like in The Labyrinth. "You have no power over me!" There was no discipline against her, because the whole place was...just wrong, but I got all the inner peace possible until I could change jobs.
Not everyone bullies that way. Women will do it in private or on the phone. One I knew would speak like I was a small person while she gaslit me. Also she ignored my attempts to resolve matters through emails. She said she would do something when I called her because of the unanswered email. Next I waited two weeks and did her job. Then I told her I did the work and she screams and says that I am not a professional. Then she says she did the work not me. This is the first time someone sees the bullying. Then she sends a huge bill. She was our accountant who acted like my company was going to be hers.
You're correct, which is why I have about fifteen videos on this topic--all different, dealing with different issues, situations, and types of bullies.
My bully is actually very subtle most of the times and pretending to be the sub and victim, making comments under the nose, spreading negativity and sighing all day that no one helps her. Sometimes goes into more agressive mode however when she gets angry and raises her voice, becomes very accusative. Very hard to navigate my position as a punchbag in both situations. I usually treat it with silence or ignorance but it come to a point where I feel I need to do more to protect myself as she just never stops doing this
I watched a doctor take control of someone by saying "You follow me" and walking off in silence They had no choice but to follow. Using that to control a bully, you simply take them to any other place of your choosing. If they are aggressive make it a longer walk and greet other people cheerily on the way. The bully can't maintain their posturing.
...best is remain passive and ignore the bully so as he/she escalates attacks to level where it's violence with company ethics and gorila gets written notice from HR upon your official written complaint and ruins bully's reputation for being rude on in front of everybody as well....I already managed get 3 managers fired from companies destroing their carrer with this strategy returning their weapons back against them....
It’s true if you lure the bully into thinking you are complacent, they will assume you are a safe target and escalate. If you document each incident, by the time this bully escalates to the point of violating policy, they can get in a lot of trouble. That’s how I like to play it.
I tried this. My co-worker was above me, she was the bully. I told my manager. Manager sent us to HR. I never spelled out that she was a bully. I said she cursed me out in the office (for something that was not my fault), and she pointed her finger in my face. HR said we were both wrong and to stop 'causing trouble' or the next time we'd be written up. I was naive in thinking that HR was trying to help me. We did not have a company policy re: bullying.
Thank you for all the Pearls. I should have to listen to this video message every day until I have reprogrammed myself. I won't, but I should. I'll definitely listen to this again.
This is such amazing advice. I couldn't find anything better than this. Unfortunately with rude bullies, I always think of a good comeback later on. I have a serious issue with overthinking about everything, and it takes a serious toll on me mentally.
Remember that it's not about a come-back; it is about remembering who you are and acting accordingly. That means protecting boundaries, and sometimes you have to memorize a few choice phrases to do that :)
It is good advice for people in those impersonal settings like offices or classrooms. What if you are with your extended family and your parent starts insulting you? Some parents do that, unfortunately. They take the opportunity to belittle their adult children in front of the extended family just to humiliate their least favorite member of the family. How do you handle that? Can you ask them what they meant? Is that considered inappropriate? Or, do you just leave? I have not watched all your videos so maybe you have already covered it. With the holidays coming up, it is nice to have some pointers.
Abusive people never stop, so WALK AWAY! Even if you’re at your home, leave because they’re so entitled that it doesn’t register that they have crossed the line.
Ancu, not every rude person is abusive, and you can handle rudeness. You'd be surprised how family members will back off if you spotlight their behavior and make it clear you won't tolerate it. If they STILL keep it up? Then I'd consider leaving ruclips.net/user/shortsQ9aQp2g1vLQ
Why deal with toxic family members at all during the holidays? Treat yourself to a vacation and ditch them altogether. No one should have to “prepare”, to tolerate abuse and mistreatment. The best way to “deal” with such matters is to eliminate it altogether. And to assure you that this option is okay, start telling yourself the following everyday: “ I am not obligated to anyone.”
Thank you so very much for the captioning. I LOVE IT! I come from the upper part western US. We talk a little slower up here, and being used to that drawl, our ears don't always catch up to faster speech. So I appreciate it when people slow down a little or offer a little help, like eye contact, enunciation or captioning.
The only trouble with captioning is when they spell "gorilla" guerilla and I have to then answer people who think I should correct what I cannot correct--namely captions. Having said that--IT'S WORTH IT and I can stand the heat :) :) :)
I've just come across ur channel and really love how u r reminding us to be kind and loving in our communication, in ways we may be neglecting. Very much appreciated, indeed! U got urself a Brazilian subscriber!
OK thank you! I'll loving it! I'm a little stuck. When the problem I perceive is the fact my mom and bro have no respect for anyone, twist the truth, and are within my living environment for the foreseeable future. I can see how i went wrong creating the lack of distance and I can explore the other relationship issues that lead to that and now feel a solution may be within sight. What I can't seem to find, however, is a path to truly believing it doesn't reflect/create my worth and I can't find a path to truly believing anyone is respected and I not only can but will live in the feeling of respectful worth strongly in my value as a contributing member of society. As happy and safe as possible while still growing and improving. How can I truly be the solution if I can't fathom how I was the problem that caused my family to despise me so?
I don't fully agree with that concept of "you're the cause". I can understand how it can be useful in certain circumstances, but from a mental therapy point of view, there are definitely things that we do NOT need to take responsibility for, and shouldn't. Especially those of us coming from an abusive upbringing.
@khakicampbell6640 thank you. I have a foot in both camps. I don't think I'm responsible per say but I know I keep getting more of the same issues and I'm so ready for respect
I'm dealing with a toxic boss currently. I've been working at my new job for about three months and the Gorilla as you say, as come out in full force. I'm in sales. My previous experience for a decade was consultative sales. This new role is rapid-fire, in-bound transactional sales which I'm not proficient at. My toxic boss comes into the sales floor and sits in a chair and stares at me while I'm on a sales call. After the call, he rips into me with a tirade of what I he believes I did wrong, or could have done better. Instead of mentoring and uplifting, he's abusive and degrading, loud and abrasive in my face in front of all the sales associates. He's fallen off the hinge and on the ledge so to speak. I'm sitting at my desk thinking to myself.. "This guy is a nut case. I gotta get out of this place!" He micromanages and brow beats. Help me what do I do?
When you’re foreigner in different country people can be bully to you, they can treat you worse. I have experienced it in past, and still seeing that awkward people who thinks they’re better then you. There are no perfectionists we are all equal with different views or experience, those characteristics should make team stronger.
Wow, I was so relieved by this. All you said here are my common words😊. I am certain that I am not a problem. I am very powerful and respectful in nature, but in terms of working in a relationship with people, it challenged me. They look at me differently. They alienate me. They want to change me, and sabotaging me by their authority power. This is unfair when you cannot diminish your authenticity, and hope to be accepted. Sometimes, we don't need to take care other people's perspective, and we cannot control it. I think we better keep of who we are and let people accept you the way how we accept them.
I’m leaving a toxic workplace. The bullies were my admin. I went to HR to file a grievance. BIG MISTAKE. HR is never your friend. I was at this job for 17 years, but my newest supervisor gave me low scores- the lowest I’ve ever received. I was very loyal, worked hard, and always received high scores in my evaluations. The current admin, over the last 3 years, have inundated me with the work of 4 people- including responsibilities of the admin. It was subtle at first , but slowly increased. The new people coming in are rewarded for every little thing. I watched them do this with other workers who are older and have been in their positions awhile, but are experts in their field. I’m worried about my next paycheck, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Coworkers who bully are different than bosses who bully. I’m very depressed- I left a lot of unfinished work and projects. It was 17 years of never being thanked for anything.
Flying, you can take it to the bank that HR IS NEVER YOUR FRIEND. HR is paid by the company and HR people are loyal to the company, not the working individuals who actually make that company tick.
I can relate to this comment. Similar experience. Both coworkers and management were “in on it”. Went to the union they DIDNOT help and told ME that I “dropped the ball”. Went to HR and then.Mobbing escalated. Bad bosses retaliate after you report their bad behavior. I wish you the best in finding a better job. These people don’t show any mercy. They are CRUEL and have a SEARED conscience.
It feels like I am just participating in the ignorance if I respond to them in any way. It's like lowering myself to their level. Supervisors don't know how to deal with them either. They are some wanna be supervisor and it's workplace harassment. They should get it on camera and discipline them. Anything that interferes with my work performance and is unwanted behaviour is not ok and shouldn't be allowed.
20:48 You are right. This video prompted me to think about the phrase : "with great power comes great responsibility" I'm thinking now it is the opposite because the more responsibility you take of the aspects of your life the more power you have to change them in ways that benefit you and others around you. Cool.. Thank you!
Dan, as always, I'm grateful for you and your phenomenal teaching skills. Thank you for bestowing such important and valuable lessons to myself and to your viewers. As someone who admittedly has never been good with words, you've shown me the keys to excellent communication and most of all freedom. This truly is life changing and I cannot thank you enough. I hope you're having a fantastic holiday surrounded by people you love and who love you.
Tangential, I know, but I'm always fascinated by how these cro-magnons make it up the career ladder at all. Blows my mind how organizations go anywhere with these clowns in management.
Erin--tangential again, but are you familiar with the elected officials in U.S. government? Have you watched the fighting and name-calling for the last several years? Have you noticed the absence of civil discourse? Same question--"how can organizations go anywhere with these clowns in management," and yet they are actually voted into office. You have to wonder if we've all lost our minds.
Senior employee reprimanded me in front of others for doing something I had every right to do. Then he told me I had to do something which, in reality, was against labour laws. I said "No" and that was not within labour laws. Senior employee took it to management, who in turn had a meeting. I got hauled in to management and was told I was actually right, but because I refused the senior employee, I was actually guilty of INSUBORDINATION, a fireable offense.
I hope you are taking good notes, including that upper level management acknowledged that what you were being asked to do violated labor laws. The fact that your boss TOLD you to do it is no defense in court. If you know it violates law, don't do it. Risking "insubordination" is worth it, vs breaking the law and then being held accountable criminally.
this is what i missed from school, you could just kick the shit out of them. I was always the smallest and youngest and always got picked on, specially being the new kid all the time with my house flipping parents. Never lost a fight, even totally demoralizing people twice my size. what they didn't know was i had 4 and a 1/2 years training.
lol I was the biggest and small people used to try me in school and I’d drop them into next week. I miss those days. And in school suspension was the best. 😂
Great video! Loved the content! I teach my teams to use the positive first. "I'm going to help you by getting you to upper management." Or " I'm going to help you and get that answer for you. I don't have the answer in front of me." People hear the first statement most and are calmer if they feel they are going to be helped even when we don't have the information.
That's good when it's true. More often it's just passing the buck and sending the customer through a maze of phone transfers that take up a lot of time and seldom result in a working solution.
@@milkywayranchsc Yes, the objective is to actually help the customer or client by getting that person to the right person. Yes, today's customer service has eroded both the customer's faith in getting the right help and the customer's faith in customer service as a whole.
So I randomly skipped to 8:10. Today I learned I’ve been using a power phrase my whole life and didn’t realize it lol any time I’m in a meeting and talking to someone about something they’re doing, if there’s any point where it’s appropriate to give them support I tell them “you got this” “I have faith in you” or both! And I’ve only seen people become engaged and excited and ultimately successful. It’s their success, but if I can amp someone up and empower them to feel excited and enthusiastic about what they’re doing, it can only multiply the success that we can accomplish together! 😁👍
My husband is 80 and I am 78. We do campground hosting and love it. I gave some input on the things going wrong with the young new management. They weren't following the rules of wearing the uniforms and name tags. I thought corporate would want to know these things. However,, even with our good work and care of the campers corporate kicked us out. Unbelievable
Alright--your story is pretty typical for people who go to corporate or HR or anywhere over the heads of the people they see as causing a problem. It just never works because it is corporate who hired them in the first place--and then defend their decision. And as for HR--forget about it.
@@TheWizardOfWords You are correct. The thing is: they INVITE our input in their rules book saying how they WANT to hear from us because we ARE out there and see things. Boy, I was SO stupid thinking they meant it. They always said they didn't want to lose us because they knew we were reliable and trustworthy
Yes, they like to know what's going on, but you won't be rewarded for the telling-- my mother can attest to this. She's 77 and experienced this vicariously through one of her closest friends when she was in her forties, and personally in the convent--in her twenties. Lesson learned and taught :)
Some people are just horrible. I frankly do not know how horrible people can even keep a job, let alone get into management. I know in some cases, you are dealing with a family owned biz, but seriously.
People are human, and everyone has freedom of speech and can say whatever they want legally. These advices won’t work at all. No matter how professional and right you are, there are always bullies that will pick bones. It’s not us that need to change, it’s the bullies. We are already perfect as we are.
I was bullied at work by my supervisor. When no one was around shed dump a new task on me and be snarky about it. When I came too early she said come later. I didnt have a key to enter the office until a year later. She chose who she didnt like and I found it was three prettiest women who had morre education than they had also everyone liked me there especially the higher boss whose a dr.
I started a new job just over a week ago, and this was exactly what went on. Within a few days I'd had enough and fought back. End result the boss read them the riot act and the 'mean girls' had to be polite. I think they were shocked that such a 'nice' person wouldn't take their crap. Turns out that they have had huge staff turnover and the people who stayed got bullied for their first 2 weeks. They changed my shifts to avoid the worst of them. I've said my bit and filed the official complaint and they all know if it happens again I'm ready to leave, but I think they are still reeling from me speaking out :)
Usually they want you to leave. If the bullies can keep the turnover high, then there is no one to challenge their seniority. Two years ago my workplace hired a bully. I witnessed her throw 2 other coworkers 'under the bus' and got them fired due to false accusations (I check the surveillance tapes) Then she tried it with me. I quit and got another job. Since then, the bully is still there and the company constantly has a Help Wanted posting. This has been non-stop for over two years. I have casually checked out the place and there are always new faces in there but they sure don't last. This bully thinks she is queen and that she runs the business. The clueless owner doesn't understand why she can't retain staff, which makes her think the bully is even MORE valuable for staying!! It's this weird symbiotic relationship.
Blaque3knight-- this is not something people complain about; it's something they notice. Either way--it's not earth-shattering, is it? If Thank you works for you--great.
Omgoodness I just tried this with my needy ,whining, dog , she is fine she just wants more play haha,I told her to go lay down as I leaned forward and pointed to the area rug she turned around instantly and lay down 😮 thanks 😅
I used to teach my 3-5year olds this technique before they went to primary school. Some were too shy to do so. I’d suggest they find a friend to do it with them but no more than 1 or they could be accused of bullying themselves. I was always worried about bullying. ❤️from Australia 🇦🇺.
I learned how to handle bullies from a very early age and am forever grateful to MY MOTHER--(See Mom, sometimes I say nice things about you. Don't get a big head--like you had in high school. Wow, that hair was off the charts.)
Hi Dan! Thank you for this video! I had to look at the date on this video because you look so young in it!! What’s your secret!! 😄 Also, I LOVED your email tips. I think the subject line is SO important, so thank you for reminding me of that. Also, a labeled subject line helps with finding an email again easily at a later date! And I never heard of “EOM” so thank you for teaching me that! I will also definitely tell someone this week that I love or really enjoy working with them! Thank you so much Dan! P.s. I got a customer service email response in my inbox yesterday from a woman named “Trixie” and I immediately laughed and thought of you!! 😄🙏
If you liked this video and want to support this channel, please consider pressing the "join" button--right here www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
I love the advice from you brother great video bro ❤
Wow, this so reminds me of a woman who was my boss in state government. "Bully" doesn't even begin to describe her. She was also a saboteur. Thank God I only worked for her for about nine months and finally escaped to a different agency. Worst nine months of any job I had ever had - and, because she was management supported by equally bad management, there really weren't any options other than to leave. Psychopath, sociopaths, and other narcissists seem to prosper in management.
I had a similar experience in retail with a female GM and ended up quitting after a few months of her targeting me. It wasn't worth staying.
@@CopperMoon4747 Haha! Men aren't the only crazy, nasty managers! I think that leaving is all we can do, in such situations. Honesty and doing the right thing are not simply not part of the agenda of such people. Well, at least it paid the bills while we were there, right?
You'd better believe that men are not the only "crazy, nasty managers" and often the victims of these female bullies are--wait for it . . . women.
@@TheWizardOfWordsYES!
Even worse are the cluster-b personality-disordered coworkers who are given a crumb of supervisory responsibility who in turn abuse the little power given to them and target other coworkers who are just trying to do a good job and get through the day.
When the lies, gaslighting and bullying starts happening out of nowhere: the best thing is to start finding a new job if grey-rocking isn't working. 🤷🏻♀️✌️✨
Women hate working for a woman.
Solid advice...unfortunately, when you work in a toxic work environment, the bully usually has backers in management. I once had a supervisor who said 'managers pick people like themselves'. If you have toxic bullies in the workplace, 90% of the time, they've got managers who are equally bullies. Those managers know and silently applaud the behavior.
This is accurate. One of the VP’s at my former employer (I resigned earlier this year 2024) picked a Director who has the same narc traits as him to oversee our office. They are empty shells. No empathy no compassion and NO remorse.
I am currently living this. But I have a notebook that I have been using to keep notes on them since I started the job in January
@@rainestorm762smart. I’ve learned to document everything. It has come in handy when you need exact times and dates and the conversation details. Also if there were anyone else who heard it or were part of it. Even better if you can get that person to agree to confirm it if you need it. Because when they try to twist a conversation that happened 3 months later to their boss thinking you wouldn’t remember, you have a quick way to access and refresh your memory. Catch those liars
I love my department and once I told the manager about the bullying, I was told, “maybe it’s time for you to leave microbiology.” I’m like why do I have to leave because of them I love my work and my area. I’m glad the supervisor was just as outraged ad me. The company, which is a hospital a love the emergency department, is a revolving door. We’be lost half over half of our staff and I’ve only been there for less than a year
Absolutely 💯
And then there's the "passive" bullies; the covertly malicious types, that act so demure. Know how to butter people up... they provoke their target, overstep boundaries, undermine, sabotage, insult, etc. When the target stands up appropriately, the bully shrinks into their quiet shell, target's strength is seen as a problem.. towards the malicious victim, who claim target ,"makes them uncomfortable"... Masterful manipulators
spot on !
That's a covert narcissist. Also a bully, but what you're describing here is a vulnerable/covert narcissist.
Yeah an even more cunning and dangerous group
I find this in every job and I seem to always become the lightening rod for their negative energy and attention.
I know someone like that. Sick lady.
This is why social media is a huge tool for wicked bullies
There is no accountability for them, they can gang up on people easily, and it requires little thought or effort to type one destructive line.
So is the workplace
This is good advice for someone that isn’t a full blown narcissist or sociopath but for someone that just operates at a more primitive level. If it’s a narcissist they’re going to find a way to get you back no matter what and it will turn into a never ending battle.
Nick, if you're dealing with a true narcissist (as opposed to what most of us are dealing with, namely a difficult person) or a sociopath, stand up to them with your body language, then smile and walk away. That is what I would do.
SPOT ON!!! When you wrestle with a pig you both and up dirty but the pig loves it. I feel like I have evolved past the whole "pee on the fire hydrant after another dog" for dominance thing.
@@TheWizardOfWords I've never met a narcissist that doesn't eventually falsely accuse you at work in an attempt to get you fired. Often times the false accusations comes from the narc boss himself. So, smile, and walk away to the unemployment office? Or lawyer?
Dealing with real narcissists is a totally different situation. If they've targeted you, and you don't think it's possible to get everyone to see their narcissistic behavior because they're blinded by their fake persona, the only thing you can do is find another job. Narcissists never stop, never see the errors of their ways, and never EVER change. They're not normal people. In fact, most people think they're evil. After what I've witnessed I tend to agree.
@@existentialhangover1124 BANG ON!
High functioning, low needs neurodivergent here. Speaking from personal experience of being bullied in most social settings. Most people are still too close to their primal behaviors. I’ve learned that matching energy works but then they just turn to the snakey behavior and will turn to other means of diminishing others. Including but not limited to turning the team against you or making false accusations to managers. I’ve fought my situation with HR departments several times. No attorneys, no court. I keep my job and people stay way the hell out of my way. Catch 22 because no man is an island
How did you manage to keep your position
@@keylanoslokj1806 glad you asked. Documented all actions involving myself and others. Our director of operations even stated I have a high level of awareness. Unfortunately it feels like you have to be as a neurodivergent and we are but at that level it’s exhausting. I made impressions and allies with people far higher than myself early on. Unfortunately I moved from my home of 40 years and it’s proving to be a challenge. Documentation has still saved my butt without having a network
You are correct regarding being close to our primal behaviors. The science proves we are big brained chimpanzees. Expecting different behavior is to expect something out of the natural order.
@@catherinebullock9748 yet through divine repentance and grace we can change this primal nature. We cannot rationalise our weaknesses and take them for granted
37f undiagnosed Autistic here. You're so right. I think we elicit the Uncanny Valley reaction in people. Luckily I'm pretty good at masking, and above average attractiveness, which honestly, I believe helps a lot when my mask does fail. I'm also very vocal about my diagnosed ADHD, and judicious but open about my undiagnosed autism, and I believe that helps, too.
Why are people so mean? Your humor and strategies are so helpful. Thank you!
Good question. In my opinion, their behavior is a power trip going to a primal level & their upbringing can affect their personality. I read an article about how sociopath on a minor level exist such as the coworker that may lie, take credit for your idea, sabotage you with no remorse to get ahead at work, within a family or circle of friends.
People who are mean have insecurities they like to project onto others most of the time. I was a psychology student in college.
Some of them have narcissistic personality disorder.
Did you hear shiela Jackson Lee CA berating her staff .with cursing and insults ..? PoS Google it
Personality disordered individuals.
After a really fun day out with my sister, I told her how much fun she is and how glad I that we hang out. I told her that my favorite days are when we hang out for a day together. Several months later, she died unexpectedly. So many years later, every time I think about her I’m grateful I was able to say those words to her.
Angela, thank you for sharing that story. So many people fail to say such things, and then live with regret. Happily, you're not one of them!
I once had a workplace bully corner me in the office carpark, telling me I needed to cancel my day off because she wanted that day off. Another time she screamed at me for losing something that I'd never even seen (it turned out she'd misplaced it). She was obviously trying to create a bullying dynamic with me. I refused to change my day off but I did leave that workplace soon after as I couldn't be bothered with months of trying to stand up to such nasty, aggressive behaviour that I could see the management turning a blind eye to. Workplace bullying is so common and such a big problem. It doesn't tend to happen if management don't allow it, but if they're weak, bullies themselves or just can't see it it can really escalate. It's why self employment is always my preferred state. The advice about not showing submission is good, bullies are cowards and its important to stand up to them.
Self-employment FTW! Also, so scary to be cornered, and in the parking lot of all places. 😮
I was the team lead in my department and was acting a little too bossy. My co-worker said, “who are you taking to?” And, I reconsidered. I was acting in a way I also didn’t agree with so I stopped being so bossy and started asking to assign tasks rather than commanding them.
Good on you for being honest with yourself. I hope things in your workplace and your heart place are improved.
absolute power corrupts absolutely.😁 good thing you didn't fall for the temptations and go into a power trip like many would do.
Good for you for catching it. When your staff feels a sense of ownership of the job and the project in question, the initiative, dedication, and the quality of the work skyrockets.
Management is about empowering the staff by supplying the materials they need, and most important:
GET OUT OF THEIR WAY! They will come to you if they need help, but their pride will push them to do as much of it on their own as possible.
When your staff knows you've got their backs they will work very hard for you indeed.
When they've done a great job, sure doesn't hurt to let them know what their good work means to the department. It's the gracious thing to do, and in no way compromises your authority. Good luck.
@brendamyc3173 you know you got a problem when theres high turnover. A good outfit is very hard to get into.
That's not a bully. You felt guilt for doing it. A true bully does it from a place of targeted envy and possessive jealousy. The child brain that was not taught boundaries or social respect.
As a woman, I can say that some women have a thing about establishing dominance over other women - maybe it's a competition thing. Over the course of my life, I've crossed paths with many females like this including my older sister. I think my relationship with her set the stage for how I let other women treat me. Because I've never liked confrontation, I've played the passive role often when I should have done the things described in this video. I learned to protect myself by avoiding people who I could see were this way, but I'm getting better at using the kinds of techniques described in this video.
Agreed. I have the same problem because my mother was like that ❤. I'm still working on being more assertive.
This really resonates with me. I can always predict with certainty that I will encounter a woman at my new workplace who'll make comments about my appearance. They're usually seemingly complimentary but they belie some envy. I'm tall, slender and quiet and have always been targetted by a female bully, usually older and heavier, at every workplace I've ever had. I could be quietly warming my packed lunch in the kitchen and like clockwork, they'll make a snide comment about my food.
The last one said that it was unfair that I didn't put on weight during COVID, whereas she did. I just told her that we all have a gym membership benefit that she can use, just like I use mine. These types are insufferable.
@cualter I've had that happen to me, too. I'm hoping I can work from home as much as possible so those interactions are kept at a minimum. I had to leave a job once because the bullying got so bad.
I
@cualter Jealousy is a form of hatred, don't you think? You can't be friends with someone you're jealous of. So I've wanted to be friends with people but they find me threatening. I gave up competiveness a long time ago. So jealousy, sabotage, fierce unnecessary competition has kept me isolated. I guess I don't need those kinds of friends. I however haven't met too many women who are comfortable with themselves( at any size and age), we are generally mean and I think it's a shame. Grudge holding, bringing in flying monkeys, I'm so exhausted!
The step towards them is ALWAYS the key. I did that to a nasty coworker who is 30 years my senior.
The shock was papablable. Luckily is backed off so I didn't need to pay a homeless man to cut his brakes
Lmao
Didn’t you comment that on another video??😂😂 this is so funny
😂😂
Dan is absolutely right. I’ve used this technique quite a few times- If I am out and about running errands by myself, and I would see and sense that someone is approaching me or exhibiting odd behavior (happens in parking lots a lot). What I’ll do is instead of showing that I am fearful, I will change my body language and pivot so that I’m walking toward the person like I am on mission. This sudden change in awareness and direction will work 9/10 to deter them from fucking with you. I’ve seen guys freeze mid walk, and even move away in their own sudden change of direction. Bullies or weirdos like to be the star of the show, but this….it takes seconds to reverse roles without allowing them any notice in the situation and creates a forceful prompt for hesitation which appears as weakness. Get the upper hand immediately and the outcome can change drastically in your favor.
I was raised by a severe personality disordered mother. I can't diagnose other people, but I have stated that behavior sure is familiar. It took me too many years, but I'm getting much better at dealing with them.
It's tough when it's your mother who has a personality disorder. However, like many others before you, you'll be OK because you recognize the situation and are dealing with it--hopefully mindfully :)
Same here, made my childhood and younger years a nightmare. Finally a friend who's a GP told me what was wrong with her. A huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't realize how much it had affected me until I finally had a reason for why she was the way she was.
@@CaptApril123YES, once you figure it out, it is a relief.
Same here and I struggle to read people and learn how to react to other behaviour
In my opinion, you should never question a bully...that could elicit unnecessary conversation, and veer off to irrelevant issues. Bullies must be confronted with statements that are brief & to the point.
A person at work once condescendingly said to me, "you're not listening". I told her (firmly) that I was looking in her direction and not interrupting, and could repeat what she said, so I was clearly listening... then I told her to never say that to me again (there were others around so I know she did it on purpose). She got embarrassed, nervously giggled and tried to explain it away...I said, "this isn't open to discussion. Just don't do it again". Problem solved...
At a company (whose atmosphere was "off") I recently resigned from (2023), an employee (who everyone disliked) said something to try to insult me... I responded w/something equally insulting. I was standing & she, sitting...after my response, she dramatically & noisily got up from her chair and right in my face. I guess I was suppose to jump, run or back away but I didn't flinch...even a bit. Since she dramatically confronted me, I stood there awaiting her next move ...she was obviously surprised that I didn't back away...she (taller than me) touched me with her shoulder, then I shoved her shoulder hard enough that she stumbled back. I had no intention of having a "melee" AT WORK however she started it & I had no intention of backing down...even if I ended up getting hurt. There was no fight as others prevented it. Suffice to say, once things settled down, she was "measured" and respectful when she had to deal with me.
I was bullied for some time in my life, and arrived at a point where I decided that I would put up w/it no longer. Now, when I recognize someone is trying to intimidate me, I never ask them why they are doing/saying that... I already know why...it's because they're an asshole. So no questions need be asked. I confidently tell them (without raising my voice... or I'll stop them mid-sentence), not to speak to me like that; "lower your voice" (if they're yelling), words to that effect. I'll be as brief as possible & will not interject any questions... I won't even ask if they "understand?" I could care less...once I've said my piece, I'm done and it's all over as far as I'm concerned. In any (or just about every) case, it works everytime. Bullies never expect to be confronted, esp. in front of others...and it's a reminder to bullies that not everyone will take their crap...no matter what.
Yep, and that is the ONLY way to handle a bully.
Yes, as I said to Aaren--if you want a fight--this is the way to go. Give as good as you get. Now you have two bullies instead of one. If that's your goal, go for it.
@@TheWizardOfWordsI love your content, but respectfully disagree with your comment.
Defending one’s self, by matching the bully’s energy doesn’t make him a bully too.
And although your advice does work, you must understand that bullies aren’t always rational, intelligent or have the EQ, to “catch on”
To context clues.
Sometimes you just have to go “toe to toe”, and shut the bully down.
@@TASconfidential This is how toxic workplaces start. The only communication method is bullying. The only way of settling things is who is the biggest bully. If they push you and you push back you are no better than them (this was clearly not self defense as they barely brushed them). All you are trying to do is de-throne them. Like a bunch of ill behaved kids or a pack of wild dogs.
Way to go ❤
I'm so passive, and I always just sulk and kind of internalize when people pick on me at work lol. Thank you SO MUCH for these easy tools I can remember for next time!
Glad it was helpful!
Is it okay just to stare at them for a few seconds - while saying nothing - and then just walk away?
At this point in my life, I'm just tired of engaging (in any way) with people who want to disrespect or humiliate me.
Absolutely that is OK.
@@TheWizardOfWordsThanks very much. You do excellent and important work.
Thank you, Jod6cindy.
That is a method I find useful when someone says something in appropriate to me. I don’t always walk away but I do stand there looking at them saying nothing. It gets real awkward and I let it. Sometimes rude ppl think you’ll say something to them in response maybe they think you have to. You don’t.
I find this type of response is very effective.
I was once the most junior person in a meeting with some managers. The most senior manager spat the dummy yelling how he hated work that we had done. Every other manager sat there with heads down copping his abuse. After a pause - I was waiting for one of them to say something - I confidently and calmly said to the senior manager “well if you can be specific about what you have an issue with then we can address it”.
Not sure why but that seemed to put him in his place because he suddenly became calm and cooperative. Maybe it was a polite way of saying hey act like a person and not an ape??
Someone later came to me and said how impressed they were with how I handled that manager.
In my view, you handled him perfectly. You put the spotlight on him and asked him to clarify. You were not rude or threatening--just clear and concise. Kudos to you. I'm sure that took courage.
I worked in 2 toxic work environments. The first toxic work environment I was dealing with 2 office bullies. My Supervisor at the time was the 2 bullies friends. I left that job.
The next job I had, low and behold.... another toxic work environment with a bully!! I couldn't believe my luck!! Two toxic work environments!! This bully insulated me in front of other coworkers. Again the Supervisor was the bully's friend.
Thank you for these tips!! I'm going to use your tips at work to deal with the bully.
The worst is when they dont train you then blame you for NOT knowing how to do something. This was Walmart in a nutshell 🙄 also two people not speaking or acknowledging my existence but giggling inside jokes in front of the "new girl" it makes life a living hell
My God. This is my current workplace. Badly do onboarding then ve suprised I make mistakes.
Yes and want to call you “slow”.
That's done on purpose for two reasons: they're incompetent leaders with nothing to teach, and they don't want to equip a potentially better worker with the ability to outpace them!
Little jerks trying to feel powerful over a new person. They know so much don't they!
Dealing with this right now. Team leads accusing me of not doing something that I was trained NOT to do 🤦🏾♀️🤣
I love the part about the emails with the closing response "I look forward to your help" because it suggests that the person is already a part of the team effort to accomplish what needs to be achieved in the bigger picture.
Great advice, wish I’d known this years ago but at least I’m understanding their behaviour from this video.
Bullied twice in the workplace, lost both jobs due to the workplace bullying. Nobody wanted to know, as long as they’re leaving me alone mentality. Made me really ill. Grateful for your advice because when you understand it you can heal from it.
Thank you, Dan, for helping people recover from being doormats ❤ I love that for them😊
Really I should have said I love that for us❤ I'm less of a doormat than I used to be but your content helps me stay on track👍🏾
Idk if people are truly doormats. As for me it can go both ways, either I go totally ballistic on someone or I completely ignore them. It all depends on my mood.
It is just a turn of phrase for people who are easily manipulated and taken advantage of.
@@studiosandi ouch that’s kinda harsh. Truth is we all have a back story but that doesn’t mean we’re weak. It’s actually quite the opposite to remain silent and calm when you really want to tear someone’s head off their neck!! This requires a lot of inner strength to remain tempered and not react to ignorant fools. My experience in dealing with bullies is if you confront one they return with backup. Their fragile ego gets bruised so they go and gather all their minions and come attack one woman. Therefore I’ve learned to choose my battles carefully rather than take on an entire group of overgrown secret groupies!
As a young, attractive, humble, hard working, master’s prepare female engineer whose sole goal was to help the clinicians and patients, … I was bullied by a middle aged woman in a group I had to work with a lot. Looking back I realize she was insecure, incompetent and scared of being found out. She was mean and only cared about playing politics … not helping our caregivers and patients.
You usually find that bullies are "insecure, incompetent, and scared of being found out." Well, some are competent--but the other two apply almost universally to bullies.
I'm a middle aged woman myself and am so embarrassed by my fellow middle aged ladies who are so often the rudest bullies in a workplace. Often they are poorly educated and feel threatened by other women who are educated and competent. I've gotten to the point where I just have no tolerance for their nonsense, they are old enough to figure out their insecurities.
Very helpful. I have a wounded inner child and my mother and her sisters and their daughters have an inner gorilla.
The thing I love about getting older is you can suss out when someone’s just starting to see if they bully you. If you act assertively fast without causing a scene, it stops it from escalating any further.
If they can bully you
Totally agree :)
Amen 🙏
I like, "That's interesting, why would you say that?"♥️
I did this once at work.
I went over to someone at afternoon break time. And I told him I really admired him. He’d come to Canada and had really applied himself to his job as an engineer. He’d found love and become a father. A good father. In so many ways he was a success story.
It turned to be a pivotal moment for him. A possible time assessment of the last 7 years of his life lead him to look for other opportunities. He left our company for 3x the money in another engineering firm. He needed to be told his value was observed.
So. It can enormously empowering to hear positive feedback. If you can, deliver it.
Sadly the workplace bullies I tend to run up against are the ones that appear so helpful or complimentary or cooperative to my face when others are near, but then do the heavy work of backstabbing when I'm gone and/or get abusive when it is only the 2 of us and there are no witnesses.
I stood up to my older sister who's a vicious bully. She stopped attacking me to my face. Now, she engages in my character assassination. And shes chosen family members who dont me or who dont like me anyway. Shes even told family friends. Ive heard the rumors of what shes doing. If i even try to defend myself I'll look worse. So she and all those ppl are no longer in my life.
Relying on anyone else for financial security will always create victims and bullies. It's unfortunate that we haven't yet invented a system that gives everyone some sense of financial freedom.
Totally agree, Crystal. Way too much distance between haves and have-nots and that distance is not good for either of them for thousands of reasons you and I could both give.
I found it useful to transform "I'm being bullied" into "I'm speaking with a chilld"
I think I heard that on TV over the weekend :)
You are such an amazing teacher, healer source of encouragement and wisdom. They absolutely love you channel. I want to watch you everyday to start my day in a positive way
Thank you Maryann, and please consider pressing that "join" button.
I had a bully at work who was caught raising her voice at me. Once reprimanded by Admin ( she’s twice my size) then bumped me into a doorway . Way tooo dangerous to move forward towards her. There were 2 of them , if had done what you said they are narcissistic and would have escalated rapidly. I finally stopped speaking to them and gave them their own space for my own safety.
You are still working in this environment, where you have to literally worry about your physical safety?
Are you kidding? If you ask those questions they will then say no they aren’t trying to and make you look like the one making the big deal. Trust me I’ve tried being direct like that and it backfires every time. They then increase their connection with everyone else 100 fold and no one catches on. Literally no one.
You've tried these precise words?
I love your sense of humour! Solid advice!
That body language tip is spot on! I had a long term bully, and I was in therapy and working on myself. The current challenge was standing up straight and looking everyone in the eyes. She reacted like I'd slapped her! She tried to escalate, which made her cross lines and other people noticed. They saw me standing straight, calm, and 3 second staring. They saw her upset and raising her voice. They started asking why she was out of her area and messing with me. She didn't stop and back off. It was more like in The Labyrinth. "You have no power over me!" There was no discipline against her, because the whole place was...just wrong, but I got all the inner peace possible until I could change jobs.
Inner peace is the goal, and handling situations without benefit of HR is another goal. You achieved both and kudos to you hishealer.
Not everyone bullies that way. Women will do it in private or on the phone. One I knew would speak like I was a small person while she gaslit me. Also she ignored my attempts to resolve matters through emails. She said she would do something when I called her because of the unanswered email. Next I waited two weeks and did her job. Then I told her I did the work and she screams and says that I am not a professional. Then she says she did the work not me. This is the first time someone sees the bullying. Then she sends a huge bill. She was our accountant who acted like my company was going to be hers.
You're correct, which is why I have about fifteen videos on this topic--all different, dealing with different issues, situations, and types of bullies.
What I like about your content is you always go beyond step one. You coach on what to do next. Thank you!
I appreciate that!
My bully is actually very subtle most of the times and pretending to be the sub and victim, making comments under the nose, spreading negativity and sighing all day that no one helps her. Sometimes goes into more agressive mode however when she gets angry and raises her voice, becomes very accusative. Very hard to navigate my position as a punchbag in both situations. I usually treat it with silence or ignorance but it come to a point where I feel I need to do more to protect myself as she just never stops doing this
We really do have to see these as opportunities to grow, develop ourselves, make it a game
Uh no, bullying shouldn't be seen as a rite of passage
Great info. I work in a U.S. government setting and just about every internal email I come across has "Best Regards" or "R/John Doe" at the end.
You are helping me so much! I can't believe I just don't know how to handle myself. Thank you! 🙏
You're very welcome, heavenly and I hope you press that "join" button the next time you watch one of my videos 😊
The email points I will for sure implement. So grateful for your videos. You helped me so much in workplace situations. Thank YOU!
You are so welcome!
I watched a doctor take control of someone by saying "You follow me" and walking off in silence They had no choice but to follow. Using that to control a bully, you simply take them to any other place of your choosing. If they are aggressive make it a longer walk and greet other people cheerily on the way. The bully can't maintain their posturing.
My pleasure.
...best is remain passive and ignore the bully so as he/she escalates attacks to level where it's violence with company ethics and gorila gets written notice from HR upon your official written complaint and ruins bully's reputation for being rude on in front of everybody as well....I already managed get 3 managers fired from companies destroing their carrer with this strategy returning their weapons back against them....
You've reported three managers to HR and they've all been fired? OK.
It’s true if you lure the bully into thinking you are complacent, they will assume you are a safe target and escalate. If you document each incident, by the time this bully escalates to the point of violating policy, they can get in a lot of trouble. That’s how I like to play it.
I tried this. My co-worker was above me, she was the bully. I told my manager. Manager sent us to HR.
I never spelled out that she was a bully. I said she cursed me out in the office (for something that was not my fault), and she pointed her finger in my face.
HR said we were both wrong and to stop 'causing trouble' or the next time we'd be written up.
I was naive in thinking that HR was trying to help me.
We did not have a company policy re: bullying.
I have found that looking at them directly stating loudly "Board now" tends to shut them up really quickly
Thank you for all the Pearls. I should have to listen to this video message every day until I have reprogrammed myself. I won't, but I should. I'll definitely listen to this again.
There's a lot of Gorillas at my work, and several Zombies!
Thank you for the advice 🙂
This is such amazing advice. I couldn't find anything better than this. Unfortunately with rude bullies, I always think of a good comeback later on. I have a serious issue with overthinking about everything, and it takes a serious toll on me mentally.
Remember that it's not about a come-back; it is about remembering who you are and acting accordingly. That means protecting boundaries, and sometimes you have to memorize a few choice phrases to do that :)
It is good advice for people in those impersonal settings like offices or classrooms. What if you are with your extended family and your parent starts insulting you? Some parents do that, unfortunately. They take the opportunity to belittle their adult children in front of the extended family just to humiliate their least favorite member of the family. How do you handle that? Can you ask them what they meant? Is that considered inappropriate? Or, do you just leave?
I have not watched all your videos so maybe you have already covered it. With the holidays coming up, it is nice to have some pointers.
Abusive people never stop, so WALK AWAY! Even if you’re at your home, leave because they’re so entitled that it doesn’t register that they have crossed the line.
Molly, ruclips.net/user/shortsQ9aQp2g1vLQ. Start here and look around on my YT channel for more
Ancu, not every rude person is abusive, and you can handle rudeness. You'd be surprised how family members will back off if you spotlight their behavior and make it clear you won't tolerate it. If they STILL keep it up? Then I'd consider leaving ruclips.net/user/shortsQ9aQp2g1vLQ
Why deal with toxic family members at all during the holidays?
Treat yourself to a vacation and ditch them altogether.
No one should have to “prepare”, to tolerate abuse and mistreatment. The best way to “deal” with such matters is to eliminate it altogether.
And to assure you that this option is okay, start telling yourself the following everyday:
“ I am not obligated to anyone.”
I genuinely didn’t know most ppl aren’t surrounded by ppl who say they believe in them. Social media is misleading. Thank you
Thank you so very much for the captioning. I LOVE IT! I come from the upper part western US. We talk a little slower up here, and being used to that drawl, our ears don't always catch up to faster speech. So I appreciate it when people slow down a little or offer a little help, like eye contact, enunciation or captioning.
The only trouble with captioning is when they spell "gorilla" guerilla and I have to then answer people who think I should correct what I cannot correct--namely captions. Having said that--IT'S WORTH IT and I can stand the heat :) :) :)
There is no rising above it. You have to stand up for yourself.
Yes.
Even eleven year olds can be these wicked bullies
I've just come across ur channel and really love how u r reminding us to be kind and loving in our communication, in ways we may be neglecting. Very much appreciated, indeed! U got urself a Brazilian subscriber!
Many thanks to my Brazilian subscriber :) :)
That’s so sweet!
I love that he’s reminding us to say supportive statements:)
Excellent. Especially where he explains that we should not end a thought without self reflection.
OK thank you! I'll loving it! I'm a little stuck. When the problem I perceive is the fact my mom and bro have no respect for anyone, twist the truth, and are within my living environment for the foreseeable future. I can see how i went wrong creating the lack of distance and I can explore the other relationship issues that lead to that and now feel a solution may be within sight. What I can't seem to find, however, is a path to truly believing it doesn't reflect/create my worth and I can't find a path to truly believing anyone is respected and I not only can but will live in the feeling of respectful worth strongly in my value as a contributing member of society. As happy and safe as possible while still growing and improving.
How can I truly be the solution if I can't fathom how I was the problem that caused my family to despise me so?
I don't fully agree with that concept of "you're the cause". I can understand how it can be useful in certain circumstances, but from a mental therapy point of view, there are definitely things that we do NOT need to take responsibility for, and shouldn't. Especially those of us coming from an abusive upbringing.
@khakicampbell6640 thank you. I have a foot in both camps. I don't think I'm responsible per say but I know I keep getting more of the same issues and I'm so ready for respect
There shouldn’t be any bullies to begin with.
No, people should treat each other with kindness, and yet . . . .
I am the problem and I am the solution, change my behavior and my thinking & action I take of/in any situation. 😊
I'm dealing with a toxic boss currently. I've been working at my new job for about three months and the Gorilla as you say, as come out in full force. I'm in sales. My previous experience for a decade was consultative sales. This new role is rapid-fire, in-bound transactional sales which I'm not proficient at. My toxic boss comes into the sales floor and sits in a chair and stares at me while I'm on a sales call. After the call, he rips into me with a tirade of what I he believes I did wrong, or could have done better. Instead of mentoring and uplifting, he's abusive and degrading, loud and abrasive in my face in front of all the sales associates. He's fallen off the hinge and on the ledge so to speak. I'm sitting at my desk thinking to myself.. "This guy is a nut case. I gotta get out of this place!" He micromanages and brow beats. Help me what do I do?
Your instincts are right, in my opinion. Head for the door. A good sales person is golden; you'll find a new job soon.
❤❤❤@@TheWizardOfWords
When you’re foreigner in different country people can be bully to you, they can treat you worse. I have experienced it in past, and still seeing that awkward people who thinks they’re better then you. There are no perfectionists we are all equal with different views or experience, those characteristics should make team stronger.
great podcast, I see now that I've already been standing up to people without realizing it.
Wow, I was so relieved by this. All you said here are my common words😊. I am certain that I am not a problem. I am very powerful and respectful in nature, but in terms of working in a relationship with people, it challenged me. They look at me differently. They alienate me. They want to change me, and sabotaging me by their authority power. This is unfair when you cannot diminish your authenticity, and hope to be accepted.
Sometimes, we don't need to take care other people's perspective, and we cannot control it. I think we better keep of who we are and let people accept you the way how we accept them.
Out of the blue, I'm crushing over your video, and I'm going to have to listen to many more of yours because the messages are too valuable to miss.
Wonderful! Don't forget to sign up and then press the "join" button. Thank you!
I’m leaving a toxic workplace. The bullies were my admin. I went to HR to file a grievance. BIG MISTAKE. HR is never your friend. I was at this job for 17 years, but my newest supervisor gave me low scores- the lowest I’ve ever received. I was very loyal, worked hard, and always received high scores in my evaluations. The current admin, over the last 3 years, have inundated me with the work of 4 people- including responsibilities of the admin. It was subtle at first , but slowly increased. The new people coming in are rewarded for every little thing. I watched them do this with other workers who are older and have been in their positions awhile, but are experts in their field. I’m worried about my next paycheck, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Coworkers who bully are different than bosses who bully. I’m very depressed- I left a lot of unfinished work and projects. It was 17 years of never being thanked for anything.
Flying, you can take it to the bank that HR IS NEVER YOUR FRIEND. HR is paid by the company and HR people are loyal to the company, not the working individuals who actually make that company tick.
I can relate to this comment. Similar experience. Both coworkers and management were “in on it”. Went to the union they DIDNOT help and told ME that I “dropped the ball”. Went to HR and then.Mobbing escalated. Bad bosses retaliate after you report their bad behavior.
I wish you the best in finding a better job. These people don’t show any mercy. They are CRUEL and have a SEARED conscience.
It feels like I am just participating in the ignorance if I respond to them in any way. It's like lowering myself to their level. Supervisors don't know how to deal with them either. They are some wanna be supervisor and it's workplace harassment. They should get it on camera and discipline them. Anything that interferes with my work performance and is unwanted behaviour is not ok and shouldn't be allowed.
Laugh in their faces, roll your eyes and turn your back and attention to another.
Whatever works for you, Kb.
20:48 You are right. This video prompted me to think about the phrase :
"with great power comes great responsibility"
I'm thinking now it is the opposite because the more responsibility you take of the aspects of your life the more power you have to change them in ways that benefit you and others around you.
Cool.. Thank you!
Fully agree about bullies, and as well if i have a problem is to fix what i went wrong. take charge of your own action how to say things
Dan, as always, I'm grateful for you and your phenomenal teaching skills. Thank you for bestowing such important and valuable lessons to myself and to your viewers. As someone who admittedly has never been good with words, you've shown me the keys to excellent communication and most of all freedom. This truly is life changing and I cannot thank you enough. I hope you're having a fantastic holiday surrounded by people you love and who love you.
Thanks!
Many thanks for the tip, Sarah :)
Tangential, I know, but I'm always fascinated by how these cro-magnons make it up the career ladder at all. Blows my mind how organizations go anywhere with these clowns in management.
Erin--tangential again, but are you familiar with the elected officials in U.S. government? Have you watched the fighting and name-calling for the last several years? Have you noticed the absence of civil discourse? Same question--"how can organizations go anywhere with these clowns in management," and yet they are actually voted into office. You have to wonder if we've all lost our minds.
Because neurotypicals are all about ass kissing and superficial charms
I do some stuff where guidance doesn't exist. Your videos help me so much. Thank you.
Happy to help, Jose.
Senior employee reprimanded me in front of others for doing something I had every right to do. Then he told me I had to do something which, in reality, was against labour laws. I said "No" and that was not within labour laws. Senior employee took it to management, who in turn had a meeting. I got hauled in to management and was told I was actually right, but because I refused the senior employee, I was actually guilty of INSUBORDINATION, a fireable offense.
I hope you are taking good notes, including that upper level management acknowledged that what you were being asked to do violated labor laws. The fact that your boss TOLD you to do it is no defense in court. If you know it violates law, don't do it. Risking "insubordination" is worth it, vs breaking the law and then being held accountable criminally.
this is what i missed from school, you could just kick the shit out of them. I was always the smallest and youngest and always got picked on, specially being the new kid all the time with my house flipping parents. Never lost a fight, even totally demoralizing people twice my size. what they didn't know was i had 4 and a 1/2 years training.
This is the answer, if they’re willing to be so bold to come at you crazy then they’re clearly open to a fight.
lol I was the biggest and small people used to try me in school and I’d drop them into next week. I miss those days. And in school suspension was the best. 😂
Thank you
You're welcome 😊
Great video! Loved the content! I teach my teams to use the positive first. "I'm going to help you by getting you to upper management." Or " I'm going to help you and get that answer for you. I don't have the answer in front of me." People hear the first statement most and are calmer if they feel they are going to be helped even when we don't have the information.
Very important for the client to know that you are going to help them--that they've found the right person.
That's good when it's true. More often it's just passing the buck and sending the customer through a maze of phone transfers that take up a lot of time and seldom result in a working solution.
@@milkywayranchsc Yes, the objective is to actually help the customer or client by getting that person to the right person. Yes, today's customer service has eroded both the customer's faith in getting the right help and the customer's faith in customer service as a whole.
This is really great advice. It’s also evidence that we (humans) are nothing more than walking, talking monkeys.
Really?
Your been very hard on monkeys
dagreatstoney--mea culpa.
You made a slip there and said you genuinely enjoyed spending time with yourself. Yes, this is the truth.
Sure I do. I hope all people find their mind a pleasant place in which to spend their leisure time. :)
So I randomly skipped to 8:10. Today I learned I’ve been using a power phrase my whole life and didn’t realize it lol any time I’m in a meeting and talking to someone about something they’re doing, if there’s any point where it’s appropriate to give them support I tell them “you got this” “I have faith in you” or both! And I’ve only seen people become engaged and excited and ultimately successful. It’s their success, but if I can amp someone up and empower them to feel excited and enthusiastic about what they’re doing, it can only multiply the success that we can accomplish together! 😁👍
Well what about the FIRST eight minutes??
I love how you give specific tips. Thank you.
My husband is 80 and I am 78.
We do campground hosting and love it. I gave some input on the things going wrong with the young new management. They weren't following the rules of wearing the uniforms and name tags. I thought corporate would want to know these things. However,, even with our good work and care of the campers corporate kicked us out. Unbelievable
Alright--your story is pretty typical for people who go to corporate or HR or anywhere over the heads of the people they see as causing a problem. It just never works because it is corporate who hired them in the first place--and then defend their decision. And as for HR--forget about it.
@@TheWizardOfWords You are correct. The thing is: they INVITE our input in their rules book saying how they WANT to hear from us because we ARE out there and see things.
Boy, I was SO stupid thinking they meant it. They always said they didn't want to lose us because they knew we were reliable and trustworthy
Yes, they like to know what's going on, but you won't be rewarded for the telling-- my mother can attest to this. She's 77 and experienced this vicariously through one of her closest friends when she was in her forties, and personally in the convent--in her twenties. Lesson learned and taught :)
I really enjoyed watching this video on a Sunday night with a glass of wine. Thank you.
Wow! You pack a lot of (detailed) information into a post! Amazing!
I try.
@@TheWizardOfWords (You succeed!)
Well THANK YOU, Andreatwice :)
Love the power phrase. I give these phrases to my husband. It makes him lifht up like a 10k watt beam. Thank you Dan! Love your vids.
You are welcome, Kilted.
Some people are just horrible. I frankly do not know how horrible people can even keep a job, let alone get into management. I know in some cases, you are dealing with a family owned biz, but seriously.
great advice thank you
People are human, and everyone has freedom of speech and can say whatever they want legally. These advices won’t work at all. No matter how professional and right you are, there are always bullies that will pick bones. It’s not us that need to change, it’s the bullies. We are already perfect as we are.
Ahh, interesting perspective. Yes, if you see yourself as perfect--problem solved.
I was bullied at work by my supervisor. When no one was around shed dump a new task on me and be snarky about it. When I came too early she said come later. I didnt have a key to enter the office until a year later. She chose who she didnt like and I found it was three prettiest women who had morre education than they had also everyone liked me there especially the higher boss whose a dr.
I really enjoy spending my time watching Dan's YT videos!
@jessicaj9743 Yes . Thank you. Somewhere in the Bible it also says, "Be Slow To Anger, and Quick to Forgive. " 👍☺
I started a new job just over a week ago, and this was exactly what went on. Within a few days I'd had enough and fought back. End result the boss read them the riot act and the 'mean girls' had to be polite. I think they were shocked that such a 'nice' person wouldn't take their crap. Turns out that they have had huge staff turnover and the people who stayed got bullied for their first 2 weeks. They changed my shifts to avoid the worst of them. I've said my bit and filed the official complaint and they all know if it happens again I'm ready to leave, but I think they are still reeling from me speaking out :)
Usually they want you to leave. If the bullies can keep the turnover high, then there is no one to challenge their seniority. Two years ago my workplace hired a bully. I witnessed her throw 2 other coworkers 'under the bus' and got them fired due to false accusations (I check the surveillance tapes) Then she tried it with me. I quit and got another job. Since then, the bully is still there and the company constantly has a Help Wanted posting. This has been non-stop for over two years. I have casually checked out the place and there are always new faces in there but they sure don't last. This bully thinks she is queen and that she runs the business. The clueless owner doesn't understand why she can't retain staff, which makes her think the bully is even MORE valuable for staying!! It's this weird symbiotic relationship.
@@l.5832you should of spoke up and told the truth
I always put Thank you as my closing line. I've never used Sincerely and I never had a complaint.
Blaque3knight-- this is not something people complain about; it's something they notice. Either way--it's not earth-shattering, is it? If Thank you works for you--great.
@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you. I'm enjoying your content. Very informative and helpful.
Thanks, Blaqu3knight :)
Love the danger and power phrases, good stuff Dan 🎉
Omgoodness I just tried this with my needy ,whining, dog , she is fine she just wants more play haha,I told her to go lay down as I leaned forward and pointed to the area rug she turned around instantly and lay down 😮 thanks 😅
I used to teach my 3-5year olds this technique before they went to primary school. Some were too shy to do so. I’d suggest they find a friend to do it with them but no more than 1 or they could be accused of bullying themselves. I was always worried about bullying. ❤️from Australia 🇦🇺.
I learned how to handle bullies from a very early age and am forever grateful to MY MOTHER--(See Mom, sometimes I say nice things about you. Don't get a big head--like you had in high school. Wow, that hair was off the charts.)
@@TheWizardOfWords Your mum is younger than me if you remember the big hair of the 1970’s and 80’s here in Aus. ❤️from Australia 🇦🇺.
My mom is 77 and had "big hair" in the seventies, when my brother and I were born. DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD??? Love from MX and the U.S.
Hi Dan! Thank you for this video! I had to look at the date on this video because you look so young in it!! What’s your secret!! 😄
Also, I LOVED your email tips. I think the subject line is SO important, so thank you for reminding me of that. Also, a labeled subject line helps with finding an email again easily at a later date! And I never heard of “EOM” so thank you for teaching me that! I will also definitely tell someone this week that I love or really enjoy working with them!
Thank you so much Dan!
P.s. I got a customer service email response in my inbox yesterday from a woman named “Trixie” and I immediately laughed and thought of you!! 😄🙏
@jessicaj9743 I love this! This was perfect timing for me! What made you post this may I ask?