Narcissists mimic others. They are perfect actors. They pretend to be the perfect partner in the beginning , that’s the love trap. These evil bastards !!!
Agreed 100%, they're incredible actors, we should stick them on a big boat and send them to Hollywood!, they can have all their attention, money (they've already got their acting skills so they need no practice), and all the adoration from the opposite sex they like! 😀
At first, I thought, "How am I going to live without him. Why is he doing this to me? Now, after watching many videos, I'm healing. It's unbelievable to us. Their thought process is demented.
I told the narc "you are underestimating me.” And he laughed. He's not laughing now. He did hurt me deeply but I am a Child of God and proud of it. If you are a Child of God, you will get through the storm and You will be okay and even better than okay. Hang in there and pray like the Warrior You are. Much love to you❤
Id like to know, how many of us didnt even "like" the narcissist/s when we met them first? (yet the pursuing of us and overfamiliarity confused us and broke us down) then by the end, your craving someone back, like a drug that you didnt even like (maybe even disliked!) in the first place! its crazy!!! I wont let anyone tell me who i am now, im starting (yet another) future and doing all the things ive wanted to (yet had no confidence to do before) thats when you know your becoming YOU, Thanks again paula 💛🤗💛
I remember having a dream two weeks in and to this day I believe it was prophetic. I was too overwhelmed and I felt like I should walk away and the dream showed the Narc on my back weighing me down as I climbed a fence. 9 months later, EVERYTHING in the dream came true. My spirit knew from the beginning and I ignored it. Never again
You are so right!! I didn't even really like him...there was an underlying bad or fake feeling coming from him! My instincts were kinked...but my logical brain said this is good! Ha!
Today, 13 June 2023, I finally took that big step. It took me six months to sort through my deep attachments and fears. Could not have done so without you Paula and this brilliant, caring community. If anyone feels so led, please keep me in your prayers. With gratitude, Jeff
It's been 3 yrs since I last spoke with my exN. We live in different states now & he has a child with the person he got with after we split up. Yet he STILL tries to reach out! I'm sure his curiosity gets the best of him wanting to know if I'm in the fetal position crying & pining for him etc! Or if I'm still the weak little "yes" person I was when he left! The answer to both is NO! But he'll never be given the chance to get to know the "new" me! He can stay with his baby mama & forget I ever existed!
it's sad that they are lunatics and it's not covered by social insurance, so they are doomed to play their fantasies of kings and queens in real world.
This Narcissist thing is hard to deal with when You come to realise after many years of not knowing about this and eventually realising one of your own siblings Is and your own Mother was sad to say 😏. Edit; God bless this Lady Paula 🙏🏼👍🏼
That's what happened to me Neil , my mam, sister, and exs DEFINATLY qualify, and I only found out about it maybe a year and half ago through googling (and something called the freedom programme) but as you're programmed and trained early to just accept things as "normal" family behaviour, (you do, cos you dont know any dofferen growning up into it) until you're older and realise what you experienced was FAR from normal, + ps hope your well 💜🍀💜
I found out one of my brothers is one when I was getting trauma abuse counselling. The counsellor said it's very common that people who experience Narcissistic Abuse in romantic relationships, grew up with a Narcissist/s in their home. We're trained to be people pleasers and the Narcissist seems uncannily familiar to us, but we don't understand why until they've done us a lot of harm. I have grey rocked and kept my brother at arms length for many years as he's very draining. I still love him as a brother. But now I know he'll never change.
2 years out and 100% back to myself, my life is full and I am soooooo happy, single and at peace.He came back, hoovered looking for the old version of me, I told him "that girl is gone", he was then gone, saying I was too much work. Meaning he could groom someone new alot easier than trying to get me back in line. LOL so obvious once you see through the veil.
Once you know you go you get out and you stay out, once you know what they really are you must get away and go no contact,it will just get worse, and eventually the trauma bond will break, it's a spiritual battle the devil 👿 can't get you so he sends these demons your way 🙏👍 Paula thanks for the video 🦋🙏
It is indeed a spiritual battle, and I suspect that they are under what exorcists call demonic influence. I started saying prayers to cut unGodly Soul Ties yesterday, and my mood really lifted. I'm saying Deliverance prayers too. I'd recommend all Christians to do the same, and anyone who's mind is open could also find it helps. God is good! God bless you, Paula and all here.
Great video. I agree with this. It really can take a while for the spiritual bond to dissolve. I've learned to be very careful who I open myself up to because of this. I've found that doing the internal work in a variety of ways helps. I saved the messages and photos this person sent me for a variety of reasons. I've had reason to look at a few of the pictures recently and now I see the situation completely differently than when I was going through it. I had to forgive myself and move on. It was a perfect setup and there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. It took me a while to be grateful for the experience because it was so difficult to go through. But now I know what darkness looks like in very definitive terms. I can now see it and I avoid it. Previously, I certainly knew darkness existed but didn't understand the specifics. Now that the specifics have snapped into place, it's extremely helpful. I don't even blame this person anymore. He was certainly responsible for the surface level deceptions, but not for the deeper ones. I also wouldn't want to be him. I actually pray for him when I can and I'm grateful to feel back in balance. Thanks so much for your work, Paula. It's really helpful.
Love what you said about you knew darkness existed but you didn’t know the specifics. I feel very much the same way. I can now CLEARLY see (and feel) the difference between good and evil and the intergenerational battle for souls and that is pretty amazing, actually. One of my final thoughts towards the ex-narc was that he will be back. He will not finish his spiritual ascension in this lifetime. Weird thought I know but I did strongly feel that. These entities are tortured souls who can’t move on until they defeat their own demons somehow. And that is between them and God and whatever demons (either literal and/or metaphorical) have infiltrated their being. The battle between good and evil is very real.
@@goldilocks3593 Yes, but these entities have lost their souls already or gave them to the devil. It's the free choice of human beings. Sorry for any Mistakes 🤭. My English isn't very good.
I had the narcissist tell me at the end “we met because you are a very sad and angry person, and I was sad when I met you” - the audacity! Wrong on every single count. I did become sad and angry inside the relationship with the narcissist though.
Absolutely! It works for me to maintain my mission statement. That recenters me. I realize that when I do my empath thing, wondering what I could have done to keep the relationship going, that it’s not me. The relationship was not going to last anyway. This person did a most surprising 180° on me. It was totally amazing. Fortunately, this happened within four months of the beginning of the relationship. I had noticed that the N was monopolizing my time so I had started pulling back… “Reclaiming my time!” Apparently the N noticed that they weren’t head honcho in my life. So amazing. Our relationship plummeted, unraveled in one fell swoop. That’s when I realized I had been dealing with a full-fledged N.
This is really good and the kind of message people should be listening too. Before they can get it, they have to break cognitive dissonance... You see, sometimes when you think the "relationship" is over-you think that's the ending. To a malignant narc-that's the beginning. They have been waiting for you to end the relationship.
The 6th sense - that.... "they know you and who you are better than anyone else"....SO TRUE....now at almost 10 months post discard this channel is still my staple..."the truth sets you free"...not only am I in a battle to heal from long term narc abuse but am in a tandem battle contending for the children I serve - 29 years as School Counselor - and in the last 3-4 months come under fire for speaking up as to their needs - the intensity of that battle has limited me from reaching out because of being locked in that battle too...prayer appreciated but I am fighting on in Christs strength....AS ALWAYS!!!! I THANK GOD FOR THIS VIDEO!!!...AND as always I find myself praying for you Paula. THANK YOU!!!
Thanks! This is great advise to continue to disconnect yourself from the narcissist. 7 months out, and I am slowly feeling more centered. When the illusion of love shatters, all the pieces of the puzzle have to be examined in new light and clarity - as you educate yourself and put the pieces of yourself back together. Then on to reclaim who you really were before the confusion of narcissistic abuse entered your life … that is the best use of your time - and your energy can be focused back on you, not the narcissist! That narcissist has taken up enough of your time…. Get back to YOU! Love to everyone going thru this painful experience - and thank God for Paula and others on RUclips who are literally saving lives with this information, help, and encouragement!
You are wonderful! Yes, it feels that you don’t want anyone else and never will. A spell is a great way of describing the confusing, powerless hypnotic trance it seems like once you’re distanced. Great insight.
I hope you don't cry? 😢, it's a term a lot of narcissistic abuse teachers use (I think resource or resource's is a good one) it explains what they did to us in a "draining" way (to be honest I only got through a quarter of Paula's narc mums and their daughters video the other night + got too upset to finish, it hit harder than what I thought!) I hope you're ok and on a healing/recovery road, cos you didn't deserve it (none of us did) 🩷💕🩷
Yes but it’s true. It helps you understand why these people hurt you on purpose and were always going to. It helps you understand none of the ‘good stuff’ was real.
Narcs have a glitter that is like a drug: just want more! Its as if I cannot live without them. So to combat this awful drug, I focus on what I am doing and to build myself up. Its a tough battle, especially with family narc influences and then marrying one.
This is so good, and accurately explains the key frames of a narcissistic colonisation of their victim's mind. Thank you. I've never heard it explained so succcinctly before.
I am almost 40 years old and married 20 years, There have multiple affairs in my marriage and I always thought it was because I was screwing up and not being a good husband/father, but then I learned about what a covert narcissist is. To be honest, I'm not sure what hurts worse, the discard or the thought that my wife will never and can't genuinely love me. Things are good right now, but I now understand this pattern will come full circle, and she has no idea about all this homework I am doing about covert narcissism.
Speaking as the daughter of a malignant narcissistic mother who isolated my father all my life, denigrating his relatives, and accusing them of all sorts of crimes, which I found out, 51 years into my life, SHE COMMITTED those crimes.... Get out. :( Just get out, while you can. Towards the end of my dad's life, my mother was basically committing Munchausen by Proxy trying to get me to give her control over my bank account. I have three kids...... she wanted to steal from. She denied me the ability to talk to my dad when he was dying..... all because I would not give her control over me, as a replacement supply. Leave her. :( Leave her for your kids' sake.
Thank you for this video Paula. It was very affirming for me. I can tell I'm getting over the narcissist because songs that used to remind me of her no longer carry the same meaning as they once did. I'm able to listen to them again without having a strong emotional attachment to the narcissist. This not only means I'm getting healthy, I'm also getting my music collection back. I had three people confirm in the last six months that I really dodged a bullet when the narcissist discarded me, and nothing could be closer to the truth. Your videos have played a big role in my healing, and I'm very thankful for what you share.
My sister learner her narcissism from my father. She was the eldest and I was the 3rd of 4 children. She used to push me forward to deal with difficult situations or people. I really believed I had the personality to deal with it but why didn't she? The eldest child? Now I know about this disorder of narcissism I can see she had groomed me to be her version of me. She made me feel. I had a special strength and power, when really I saw myself as a quiet empathic and ordinary person, happy in my solitude yet coerced by her into confronting family problems and blowing me up to function out of my ego. As you say, how dare she. We are now estranged as adults and I have a battle to believe in myself, I think I am getting there. Thanks for the video.😊
Thank you Paula. Great insight indeed into dealing with a narcissist in a relationship. They suck the life force out of you. Chilling that they know you better than you know yourself.
I don't doubt anything about myself anymore. I understand the process. He showed me my weak points, and the only part of me that disappeared was the weak, traumatized people pleaser. The new person who emerged is a stranger to him.
The narc's favorite tune for me when we met was 'Someone like you' by Van Morrison - if you read the lyrics it spells it all out. Actually haunting...My favorite tune during that time was 'More than word's (saying I love you)...by Extreme. Really quite telling 🧘
Right before I went no-contact with my mother, she kept saying, "I love you. Do you love me?" It was so creepy to me. After all she has done to me.......... "More Than Words" was my earworm all during that time, as well. It will be again, on Mother's Day.
This is so spot on. He shaped and molded me into what he wanted me to be and convinced me that was me. Im definitely not ready to connect to anyone else. The discard was so traumatic I’m almost two years out and still reeling. It’s crazy to think he’s now possibly two years into his new relationship post me. Not really sure because I’m no contact but still kinda mind blowing
My ex said that he always knew where I was and that he could read my mind…so sick and creepy. He presented it as true love and a very close connection.
I tried a symbolic ceremony of cutting the cord to the narcissist, but it did not work. I still felt connected. But, in time the connection was broken. And yes, Paula, it took understanding of narcissism and a space to regain and grow myself. 🦋🦋🦋
I tried the psychic cord cutting too (that had no effect) it's like they're in your system, haunting you/part of your blood supply, (it's a very strange thing) the only thing that worked for me was no contact, self focus, stopping the mental questioning (and accepting it's who they are) they cant accept themselves in their "realistic" entirety (so they can't accept anyone else) and I used crystals (mostly clear and rose quartz), and I had to face and accept all of it (without denials ) and knowing everything they said about me were just projections and how they wanted me to be/act/feel, I know who I am and it's miles away from what they "tried" to make me out to be , ps hope your ok 💙🦋💙
Paula , I just want to say , on behalf of ALL if us on this forum , what a HUGE difference your content makes ! Having learned about NPD and now we'll on the way to recovery I now find I'm not just stronger and better protected against any future narcissists looking for fresh prey , but your wonderful insight and advise has also helped me become MORE confident and capable in most other social situations . I am even able to help and sort out others who are in difficult or emotional predicaments . You have NO idea just how much of a difference you have made along the way in my own personal recovery journey ❤❤🙏
Thank you so much, I questioned everything about myself after my discard, then she came back and a long back and fourth ensued, I finally went no contact last week, followed by a block. They always want the last word even after a definitive conclusion. It’s been a long 8 months of mental hell. She was my music mentor and close friend so the dynamic was very intense, unique and palpable. Thank you for helping me get some closure and clarity
This is 1 video I don't fully relate to. Phew! I knew the narcissist didn't know me well because they never asked the big questions. I knew it, I felt it, I tolerated it and đidn't listen to my gut enough, because I was swayed, charmed, lovebombed and trauma bonded. I tried to leave twice - with me always coming back. 3rd time lucky I discarded them again, went NC and blocked and deleted, worked out why they were weird (NPD), and remain NC 4 months later. Healing!
Again, I cannot express my depth of gratitude for your teaching, Paula, and for this supportive community. Without it, I would have stayed stuck after the second round of hoovering with a grand love-bombing stage followed by the letdowns of devaluing , distancing and periodic discards. I cannot emphasize enough--knowing the dynamics of these stages and the outlook of the narcissist--enlightened and empowered me to break away. I've gone firmly no-contact and feel like I can breathe for the first time in two years. And also know I cannot go back. Like all of us here, by God's grace I have so much to give and excited that I will now be able to do so, bringing and sharing joy in the future.
Thanks Paula for another great video!❤ it’s been nearly 7 months since I’ve seen the narcissist and nearly 4 months of no contact. He would n’t stop harassing me etc so I had to block him. The narcissist blocked me recently for a couple of weeks only to then unblock 2 days ago. It’s crazy how they try and get our attention! It’s hard to not do the same and unblock! I really don’t need the drama! 🙄 😅
He could have been tracking you. (They don't think twice about using different ways to track) but mostly they just say it as a way to force control, (I had one once used to tell me he'd know if I was thinking about an ex) they're pathetic and wierd, it's just all fear, insecurity and paranoia on their part, ps. glad you're out 🤗💛🤗
This is a really helpful video, thank you. It may help to know that we may have a deep personal dread and fear about being around those type of relationships, but it is a deep hidden inside us type fear, because our original family could not or would not protect us against the original family bully or bullies, ie narcissists. We may be in denial, but our body and brain's survival modes are not in denial. We may even have a feeling of being high because we are going up against the most dangerous cat in the wild, the saber tooth tiger. It is a kind of near death experience, which can be a kind of addiction. There is a saying that says, if you don't want to get drunk, stay out of the bars. So to stay sober emotionally, we may need to stay out of family interactions and gatherings. Especially If it is a family member, no matter how pleasant, if they have not worked on their problems, then interactions with them, ca like a shoot out at the okay corral, On a subconcious level, the goal is to survive the situation. So we are kidding ourselves to think there is no risk to the freedom, healing, and health we have gained, since the last show down at the okay corral. In my case I didn't know the true depth of the hostility another had towards me, because they had never given me the impression that I was relevant at all, although there had never been any trust or love. Just the illusion of those affinities. In essence they hate us and want to steal and take possession of our identities and position, our personality and essence. We think there can be no fear because we have figured out who they are, so therefore we will remain safe. But ironically as we have sought to heal and grow with some real provable success, they may have grown deeper into their own very entrenched disorder, especially if they are acting all friendly. They can not sustain their persona because it is fake and they are in an anxious state due to all their big plots and schemes. But chances are they are still nurturing all those beefs they have had with every other person they have ever met, but they think it's their divine right to pick on you, and blame you for all life's unfairness'. Bullies lack courage, and so pick on isolated seemingly abandoned people. When they come back into your proximity, you may not recognize them because they have white washed their personality in an attempt to win you over. But if you've worked on your own personal issues, you know enough to let them play out their odd game and wait for them to overplay their strategy and so reveal their true unhealed nature. My point is even after successfully avoided their snares, and having seen through their newer fake version, it may still be a shocking experience like getting stung by a stingray. You may feel like you just met with evil and survived. It can even feel like the worste evil you have ever seen in them ever. And in our shock we may be amazed how right our truth has been about them.A big reason we have profound dread that can feel like confidence is because we may still be thinking no one helped us survive this kind of person in the past, and there is no one who is going to help us now. That's when we should double our efforts at self care and interacting with communities in fellowship of like kind. We are worthy of receiving the love and care of others who definitely know the depths of our challenge to get and stay well, no matter who we are with, what is going on, or where we are. Our healthy community goes with us.
Great video Paula... I had to do it all whilst in the relationship... that first year of it all even all these years later still effects me and I need a little recap reminder... I needed this thanks xx
Bravo 🎉 , our Paula ❤ It really is a long road to full recover , with more rhan a few bumps along the way . Even now , two years on I still hear their toxic judgement in my head on nearly wvery decision I make , they really did have that much of a hold over me ! Just an observation from my journey , I noticed after the discard I had become very tunnel visioned and was limiting myself with very repetative patterns of behaviour . I noticed rhat even though they gone I was still functioning in the ways they had trained me , and my life fealt very small . Thats when I started to try to think outside the box , started doing new and different things , and suddenly whole new worlds full of alternative possibilities started opening up to me . I had bought into the idea that their linited reality was the only reality , but this was a lie all along . I realise now they we just teying to control me by instilling the concept into me that only THEY knew best , and only THEY held the truth ! Beacause my self confidence was virtualky zero I seemed blind to the fact that I was living in a very confined and controlled space , when in reality there were many other universes out there just WAITING to be explored ! ❤️❤️🙏
so grateful I found your channel! I went through severe narcissistic abuse for over 3 years. just got away from it recently and so much of what you’ve shared rings true in my situation. thank you for putting so much info out there, it’s helping me stay strong and stay away from my abuser 💛
I am over 20 years out, but I am still learning about NPD. Just when I think I know just about everything I watch another video and you bring to light some wonderful insight about the marriage I was in. I watch one of your video's almost everyday, they are a god send. You explain things in language we all can relate to. Thank you Paula ❤
Thank you. This video has given me encouragement to prepare/face what will be the final involvement with the ex-narc. Bracing for a property law suit and the narc is up to their tricks again. That loss of full control means everything to them. I need to not be reactive and gray rock as much as possible. Your videos have educated me so much!
Thankful that I found your videos via FB. I'm a You Tube student of Prof Sam Vaknin and Dr Ramino. I also have learned much from HH Tudor. You work is adding beneficial insight that I haven't quite heard before. Thank you. I look forward to soaking up all of your treasures.
Thank you Paula. That so makes sense to me. So glad I found your videos. He lives in my vacinity and have felt him like a shadow eventhough i dont physically see him him Ive feel not free. Am taking your advice and work on my true self. He DOES NOT KNOW ME
This was a great important teaching for me Paula! I’m still struggling but will surely keep focusing on “bursting his (the narc) bubble! Keep these coming! I’m astounded at your glorious wisdom& teachings! THANKYOU,God bless you!🎉🙏
my narc shock me so hard where I focus on the narc to prove myself all the while she was on a dating site planning a long term real relationship with someone who was not trash as she said I was and next breath I was heaven sent and showed her that she like women now and not men . but if the narcs mouth is moving it is lieing .
Need some guidance. My ex filed for divorced and diacarded me in December. I sent him photos of his son( which is 2) He never replied. I REACHED OUT AND ASKED HIM IF HE IS EVER GOING TO ASKED HOW HIS SON IS DOING. He then did once or twice. Asked him to come and se him. Then after a few weeks he asked me if he can phone him. I said he was asleep and that he is only going to upset him. Now he does not.want to pay maintenance because he says I am refusing him access to his son. During the discard he took his 2 foster children( from a previous relationship) over christmas to go and do a job. But he was only going to meet up with his new girlfriend. I SUPPORTED THEM FINANCIALLY FOR 4 YEARS. IN THE DIFORCE IT STATES THAT I REFUSED TO ACCEPT HIS CHILDREN. SHOULD I SUE HIM FOR MAINTENANCE OR JUST LEAVE IT. HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME. HIS FAMILY SAYS IT IS BETTER FOR ME TO RAISE MYBSON ON MY OWN. WHAT SHOULD I DO.
I think you are wonderful and explain so much to us. May I also add these types of narsistic men from what I have been learning are non sexual except if they want something. It does make a woman feel in every way unattractive which Im not. Even any flirtation makes you feel like your taking the lead and why do you have a need to do such nonsense? Men snd women should just naturally be interested in the opposite sex. I began to feel like a non sexual robot. Thats what they want. I forgot what it was like to be a besutiful woman. I have been blessed to find that part of myself again that was missing and there is no crazy narsistic weirdness involved with my new man. He's just normal. Im never going to be a babysitter again for any narsistic guy that thinks sex is dirty. I made sure my new man can't keep his hands off me and Im going to keep him!! ❤
Hi jahadish, I found 3 videos Paula's made already (I'm really new to the channel, so there could more) spot a female narc, The female narcissist, and, your story matters, (it's a male account of being narcissistically abused by his ex ) hope it helps, I'm sure she'll make more female ones too in the future too 🕊
Just substitute ‘she’ for ‘he’ when you listen. This is what Sam Vaknin says. The process is the same. He tends to use ‘he’ for narcs and ‘she’ for borderlines but is clear it is mostly interchangeable. Where there are sex differences - eg male borderline/ covert narcissist he makes that clear.
Hello, i managed to not pick up phone to my npd sister for 6 months, now she is ringing me and i find myself telling her everything, to which she offers solutions, but i feel like i am trying to sound like my life is good enuf for her, it feels like it did b4, beginning to, i don't want to talk to her at all because i end up feeling depressed, i wish i hadn't started this again, she will begin to put me down, its already started in a nuanced way, real friends usually back you up by relating to you, this is just getting information, i think i will not answer phone or otherwise go grey rock, she is not ,y friend or sister, i don't like her, 😞! I wish i had someone to talk to about this, you have said Narc con to get them out of your life, if i make myself scarce, it will annoy her!😅 I just feel depressed when i think about either of them, my sisters! They are there to try to destroy me! Not my friend
U can commit to them but it's not a long term thing they will cheat with your best friend or people introduce to them Stay away don't look back I am 7 months in and it is hard work not to think about them and who they having sex with
a lot of this info applies to romantic relationships with narcs, but what about narc mothers? Any info about that? They don't discard, and it difficult to disentangle from them.
Thanks Paula, this really helped me. Many of your videos have, but I am writing this because I am about five months out and want him out of my head. I will focus on my own life and identity, like you said. I appreciate this channel. ❤🙏🦾👍🌞
Jesus Christ will break that energetic hold .he broke my soul ties .give him a try
Narcissists mimic others. They are perfect actors. They pretend to be the perfect partner in the beginning , that’s the love trap. These evil bastards !!!
Agreed 100%, they're incredible actors, we should stick them on a big boat and send them to Hollywood!, they can have all their attention, money (they've already got their acting skills so they need no practice), and all the adoration from the opposite sex they like! 😀
@@Beth00009 great idea
@@freespirit9806 🤣
So sad what narcissists do to destroy unsuspecting good hearted, giving, loving empathetic people....the heartbreak is so tragic and sad !!!
Once you know the truth, its no way back!
Thank you Paula
At first, I thought, "How am I going to live without him. Why is he doing this to me? Now, after watching many videos, I'm healing. It's unbelievable to us. Their thought process is demented.
I told the narc "you are underestimating me.” And he laughed. He's not laughing now.
He did hurt me deeply but I am a Child of God and proud of it. If you are a Child of God, you will get through the storm and You will be okay and even better than okay.
Hang in there and pray like the Warrior You are. Much love to you❤
Thanks for this Godly prespective.....Amen!!!
Amen to that, praise God❤
Amen been there ❤
“The narcissist never knew you” … very hard to comprehend after all these years... but unfortunately... It's true
So mind blowing! 😮
This is all true and it happened because I didn’t know about these predators.
🤗💔🤗
Id like to know, how many of us didnt even "like" the narcissist/s when we met them first? (yet the pursuing of us and overfamiliarity confused us and broke us down) then by the end, your craving someone back, like a drug that you didnt even like (maybe even disliked!) in the first place! its crazy!!! I wont let anyone tell me who i am now, im starting (yet another) future and doing all the things ive wanted to (yet had no confidence to do before) thats when you know your becoming YOU, Thanks again paula
💛🤗💛
I remember having a dream two weeks in and to this day I believe it was prophetic. I was too overwhelmed and I felt like I should walk away and the dream showed the Narc on my back weighing me down as I climbed a fence. 9 months later, EVERYTHING in the dream came true. My spirit knew from the beginning and I ignored it. Never again
@@keeganmcintosh7353 that's amazing!!!! And they "did" end up weighing you down too! (in a lot of ways) precognitive dream 💜🍀💜
Omg right on point amen
🤗 💝 🤗
You are so right!! I didn't even really like him...there was an underlying bad or fake feeling coming from him! My instincts were kinked...but my logical brain said this is good! Ha!
Today, 13 June 2023, I finally took that big step. It took me six months to sort through my deep attachments and fears. Could not have done so without you Paula and this brilliant, caring community. If anyone feels so led, please keep me in your prayers. With gratitude, Jeff
In my prayers..your life restarts now Jeffrey you are not alone 🌹
Praying for you Jeff 🙏 ❤️
@@jesusisthelordsaviouralway8044 Amen, and many thanks!
@@NarcCon thank you as always, Paula!
many thanks for your prayers--breaking away has been an incredibly painful battle!@@jesusisthelordsaviouralway8044
My narc destroyed every aspect of my life. I am now taking my life back!!!
It's been 3 yrs since I last spoke with my exN. We live in different states now & he has a child with the person he got with after we split up. Yet he STILL tries to reach out! I'm sure his curiosity gets the best of him wanting to know if I'm in the fetal position crying & pining for him etc! Or if I'm still the weak little "yes" person I was when he left! The answer to both is NO! But he'll never be given the chance to get to know the "new" me! He can stay with his baby mama & forget I ever existed!
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Thank god every night your not the one with the baby with him… she will be tortured and the kid will most likely be screwed up
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💪you go girl!
You are so blessed beyond measure to be out for 3years.... WITH NOOOO BABY BY HIM!!Never look back!! You INSPIRE ME!! YOU GOOOO GURL😂
it's sad that they are lunatics and it's not covered by social insurance, so they are doomed to play their fantasies of kings and queens in real world.
This Narcissist thing is hard to deal with when You come to realise after many years of not knowing about this and eventually realising one of your own siblings Is and your own Mother was sad to say 😏.
Edit; God bless this Lady Paula 🙏🏼👍🏼
That's what happened to me Neil , my mam, sister, and exs DEFINATLY qualify, and I only found out about it maybe a year and half ago through googling (and something called the freedom programme) but as you're programmed and trained early to just accept things as "normal" family behaviour, (you do, cos you dont know any dofferen growning up into it) until you're older and realise what you experienced was FAR from normal, + ps hope your well 💜🍀💜
I found out one of my brothers is one when I was getting trauma abuse counselling. The counsellor said it's very common that people who experience Narcissistic Abuse in romantic relationships, grew up with a Narcissist/s in their home. We're trained to be people pleasers and the Narcissist seems uncannily familiar to us, but we don't understand why until they've done us a lot of harm. I have grey rocked and kept my brother at arms length for many years as he's very draining. I still love him as a brother. But now I know he'll never change.
2 years out and 100% back to myself, my life is full and I am soooooo happy, single and at peace.He came back, hoovered looking for the old version of me, I told him "that girl is gone", he was then gone, saying I was too much work. Meaning he could groom someone new alot easier than trying to get me back in line. LOL so obvious once you see through the veil.
Once you know you go you get out and you stay out, once you know what they really are you must get away and go no contact,it will just get worse, and eventually the trauma bond will break, it's a spiritual battle the devil 👿 can't get you so he sends these demons your way 🙏👍 Paula thanks for the video 🦋🙏
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It is indeed a spiritual battle, and I suspect that they are under what exorcists call demonic influence. I started saying prayers to cut unGodly Soul Ties yesterday, and my mood really lifted. I'm saying Deliverance prayers too. I'd recommend all Christians to do the same, and anyone who's mind is open could also find it helps. God is good!
God bless you, Paula and all here.
Jezebel spirit
Great video. I agree with this. It really can take a while for the spiritual bond to dissolve. I've learned to be very careful who I open myself up to because of this. I've found that doing the internal work in a variety of ways helps. I saved the messages and photos this person sent me for a variety of reasons. I've had reason to look at a few of the pictures recently and now I see the situation completely differently than when I was going through it. I had to forgive myself and move on. It was a perfect setup and there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. It took me a while to be grateful for the experience because it was so difficult to go through. But now I know what darkness looks like in very definitive terms. I can now see it and I avoid it. Previously, I certainly knew darkness existed but didn't understand the specifics. Now that the specifics have snapped into place, it's extremely helpful. I don't even blame this person anymore. He was certainly responsible for the surface level deceptions, but not for the deeper ones. I also wouldn't want to be him. I actually pray for him when I can and I'm grateful to feel back in balance. Thanks so much for your work, Paula. It's really helpful.
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Can I just add to this amazing testimony that in my case it was the nsrcisstic family cult and work peers too
Love what you said about you knew darkness existed but you didn’t know the specifics. I feel very much the same way. I can now CLEARLY see (and feel) the difference between good and evil and the intergenerational battle for souls and that is pretty amazing, actually. One of my final thoughts towards the ex-narc was that he will be back. He will not finish his spiritual ascension in this lifetime. Weird thought I know but I did strongly feel that. These entities are tortured souls who can’t move on until they defeat their own demons somehow. And that is between them and God and whatever demons (either literal and/or metaphorical) have infiltrated their being. The battle between good and evil is very real.
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Yes, but these entities have lost their souls already or gave them to the devil. It's the free choice of human beings.
Sorry for any Mistakes 🤭. My English isn't very good.
I had the narcissist tell me at the end “we met because you are a very sad and angry person, and I was sad when I met you” - the audacity! Wrong on every single count. I did become sad and angry inside the relationship with the narcissist though.
Agree. When you do the work on your identity, you avoid the hooks they try to get into you.
Absolutely! It works for me to maintain my mission statement. That recenters me. I realize that when I do my empath thing, wondering what I could have done to keep the relationship going, that it’s not me. The relationship was not going to last anyway. This person did a most surprising 180° on me. It was totally amazing. Fortunately, this happened within four months of the beginning of the relationship. I had noticed that the N was monopolizing my time so I had started pulling back… “Reclaiming my time!” Apparently the N noticed that they weren’t head honcho in my life. So amazing. Our relationship plummeted, unraveled in one fell swoop. That’s when I realized I had been dealing with a full-fledged N.
It took 2 yrs of back and forth for me until I finally let go of all of this …. And went NO CONTACT .
This is really good and the kind of message people should be listening too. Before they can get it, they have to break cognitive dissonance...
You see, sometimes when you think the "relationship" is over-you think that's the ending. To a malignant narc-that's the beginning. They have been waiting for you to end the relationship.
The 6th sense - that.... "they know you and who you are better than anyone else"....SO TRUE....now at almost 10 months post discard this channel is still my staple..."the truth sets you free"...not only am I in a battle to heal from long term narc abuse but am in a tandem battle contending for the children I serve - 29 years as School Counselor - and in the last 3-4 months come under fire for speaking up as to their needs - the intensity of that battle has limited me from reaching out because of being locked in that battle too...prayer appreciated but I am fighting on in Christs strength....AS ALWAYS!!!! I THANK GOD FOR THIS VIDEO!!!...AND as always I find myself praying for you Paula. THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for your prayers Philip hope your doing well..it take time but it’s progress 🌹
Thanks! This is great advise to continue to disconnect yourself from the narcissist. 7 months out, and I am slowly feeling more centered. When the illusion of love shatters, all the pieces of the puzzle have to be examined in new light and clarity - as you educate yourself and put the pieces of yourself back together. Then on to reclaim who you really were before the confusion of narcissistic abuse entered your life … that is the best use of your time - and your energy can be focused back on you, not the narcissist! That narcissist has taken up enough of your time…. Get back to YOU! Love to everyone going thru this painful experience - and thank God for Paula and others on RUclips who are literally saving lives with this information, help, and encouragement!
Judi a really big thank you for your donation and supporting message to everyone here 🥰🐕
You are wonderful! Yes, it feels that you don’t want anyone else and never will.
A spell is a great way of describing the confusing, powerless hypnotic trance it seems like once you’re distanced. Great insight.
Supply is a very sobering but a so disgusting Word
It makes me want to puke but also cry
I hope you don't cry? 😢, it's a term a lot of narcissistic abuse teachers use (I think resource or resource's is a good one) it explains what they did to us in a "draining" way (to be honest I only got through a quarter of Paula's narc mums and their daughters video the other night + got too upset to finish,
it hit harder than what I thought!) I hope you're ok and on a healing/recovery road, cos you didn't deserve it (none of us did)
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Yes but it’s true. It helps you understand why these people hurt you on purpose and were always going to. It helps you understand none of the ‘good stuff’ was real.
@@fainitesbarley2245 yes they're just takers/users, actors/actresses faking everything with no real feeling (only for themselves) 🤗🩷🤗
He controlled everything, lipstick I wore, etc.
Narcs have a glitter that is like a drug: just want more! Its as if I cannot live without them. So to combat this awful drug, I focus on what I am doing and to build myself up. Its a tough battle, especially with family narc influences and then marrying one.
This is so good, and accurately explains the key frames of a narcissistic colonisation of their victim's mind. Thank you. I've never heard it explained so succcinctly before.
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I am almost 40 years old and married 20 years, There have multiple affairs in my marriage and I always thought it was because I was screwing up and not being a good husband/father, but then I learned about what a covert narcissist is. To be honest, I'm not sure what hurts worse, the discard or the thought that my wife will never and can't genuinely love me. Things are good right now, but I now understand this pattern will come full circle, and she has no idea about all this homework I am doing about covert narcissism.
Speaking as the daughter of a malignant narcissistic mother who isolated my father all my life, denigrating his relatives, and accusing them of all sorts of crimes, which I found out, 51 years into my life, SHE COMMITTED those crimes.... Get out. :( Just get out, while you can. Towards the end of my dad's life, my mother was basically committing Munchausen by Proxy trying to get me to give her control over my bank account. I have three kids...... she wanted to steal from. She denied me the ability to talk to my dad when he was dying..... all because I would not give her control over me, as a replacement supply. Leave her. :( Leave her for your kids' sake.
Thank you for this video Paula. It was very affirming for me. I can tell I'm getting over the narcissist because songs that used to remind me of her no longer carry the same meaning as they once did. I'm able to listen to them again without having a strong emotional attachment to the narcissist. This not only means I'm getting healthy, I'm also getting my music collection back. I had three people confirm in the last six months that I really dodged a bullet when the narcissist discarded me, and nothing could be closer to the truth. Your videos have played a big role in my healing, and I'm very thankful for what you share.
Tank you for Theater Video ❤
Hey I had exactly the same experience with music and songs!
My sister learner her narcissism from my father. She was the eldest and I was the 3rd of 4 children. She used to push me forward to deal with difficult situations or people. I really believed I had the personality to deal with it but why didn't she? The eldest child? Now I know about this disorder of narcissism I can see she had groomed me to be her version of me. She made me feel. I had a special strength and power, when really I saw myself as a quiet empathic and ordinary person, happy in my solitude yet coerced by her into confronting family problems and blowing me up to function out of my ego. As you say, how dare she. We are now estranged as adults and I have a battle to believe in myself, I think I am getting there. Thanks for the video.😊
Thank you Paula. Great insight indeed into dealing with a narcissist in a relationship. They suck the life force out of you. Chilling that they know you better than you know yourself.
They only know one little bit of you. Your inner vulnerability. That’s what they were looking for.
Address it!
@@fainitesbarley2245 Absolutely, it's terrible to know people like this exist.
I don't doubt anything about myself anymore. I understand the process. He showed me my weak points, and the only part of me that disappeared was the weak, traumatized people pleaser. The new person who emerged is a stranger to him.
The narc's favorite tune for me when we met was 'Someone like you' by Van Morrison - if you read the lyrics it spells it all out. Actually haunting...My favorite tune during that time was 'More than word's (saying I love you)...by Extreme. Really quite telling 🧘
Right before I went no-contact with my mother, she kept saying, "I love you. Do you love me?" It was so creepy to me. After all she has done to me.......... "More Than Words" was my earworm all during that time, as well. It will be again, on Mother's Day.
This is so spot on. He shaped and molded me into what he wanted me to be and convinced me that was me. Im definitely not ready to connect to anyone else. The discard was so traumatic I’m almost two years out and still reeling. It’s crazy to think he’s now possibly two years into his new relationship post me. Not really sure because I’m no contact but still kinda mind blowing
My ex said that he always knew where I was and that he could read my mind…so sick and creepy. He presented it as true love and a very close connection.
I tried a symbolic ceremony of cutting the cord to the narcissist, but it did not work. I still felt connected. But, in time the connection was broken. And yes, Paula, it took understanding of narcissism and a space to regain and grow myself. 🦋🦋🦋
I tried the psychic cord cutting too (that had no effect) it's like they're in your system, haunting you/part of your blood supply, (it's a very strange thing) the only thing that worked for me was no contact, self focus, stopping the mental questioning (and accepting it's who they are) they cant accept themselves in their "realistic" entirety (so they can't accept anyone else) and I used crystals (mostly clear and rose quartz), and I had to face and accept all of it (without denials ) and knowing everything they said about me were just projections and how they wanted me to be/act/feel, I know who I am and it's miles away from what they "tried" to make me out to be , ps hope your ok
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@@Beth00009 Thank you, Beth. I am grand. I hope that you are flourishing and peaceful. ☮
@@malibu90265 yes, I'm good, thankyou
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Try sage smudging. Look into it
Paula , I just want to say , on behalf of ALL if us on this forum , what a HUGE difference your content makes ! Having learned about NPD and now we'll on the way to recovery I now find I'm not just stronger and better protected against any future narcissists looking for fresh prey , but your wonderful insight and advise has also helped me become MORE confident and capable in most other social situations . I am even able to help and sort out others who are in difficult or emotional predicaments . You have NO idea just how much of a difference you have made along the way in my own personal recovery journey ❤❤🙏
Thank you knowing such wonderful news keeps focus on why we are all here, I really appreciate you 🌹
@@NarcCon Ditto x
Thank you so much, I questioned everything about myself after my discard, then she came back and a long back and fourth ensued, I finally went no contact last week, followed by a block. They always want the last word even after a definitive conclusion. It’s been a long 8 months of mental hell. She was my music mentor and close friend so the dynamic was very intense, unique and palpable. Thank you for helping me get some closure and clarity
This is 1 video I don't fully relate to. Phew! I knew the narcissist didn't know me well because they never asked the big questions. I knew it, I felt it, I tolerated it and đidn't listen to my gut enough, because I was swayed, charmed, lovebombed and trauma bonded. I tried to leave twice - with me always coming back. 3rd time lucky I discarded them again, went NC and blocked and deleted, worked out why they were weird (NPD), and remain NC 4 months later. Healing!
Again, I cannot express my depth of gratitude for your teaching, Paula, and for this supportive community. Without it, I would have stayed stuck after the second round of hoovering with a grand love-bombing stage followed by the letdowns of devaluing , distancing and periodic discards. I cannot emphasize enough--knowing the dynamics of these stages and the outlook of the narcissist--enlightened and empowered me to break away. I've gone firmly no-contact and feel like I can breathe for the first time in two years. And also know I cannot go back. Like all of us here, by God's grace I have so much to give and excited that I will now be able to do so, bringing and sharing joy in the future.
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Your videos help me so much Paula, thank you. I need to watch them almost every day
You're such a blessing. Thank you so much!! I needed this so badly!💓
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No Contact is the true self ‘s answer . Love and Peace Ty Paula. great insight.
Great take on the hardest part of the recovery. Thank you so much for making a difficult process so understandable.
Thanks Paula for another great video!❤ it’s been nearly 7 months since I’ve seen the narcissist and nearly 4 months of no contact. He would n’t stop harassing me etc so I had to block him. The narcissist blocked me recently for a couple of weeks only to then unblock 2 days ago. It’s crazy how they try and get our attention! It’s hard to not do the same and unblock! I really don’t need the drama! 🙄 😅
It’s all about authority
My narcissistic ex suggested he could read my mind. Also he said that always knew where I was intituitive. Super creepy…
He could have been tracking you. (They don't think twice about using different ways to track) but mostly they just say it as a way to force control, (I had one once used to tell me he'd know if I was thinking about an ex) they're pathetic and wierd, it's just all fear, insecurity and paranoia on their part,
ps. glad you're out
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@@Beth00009 So true! Pathetic creatures. We are out🥳
@@An-ux2fq yessss! ❤️🕊❤️
This is a really helpful video, thank you. It may help to know that we may have a deep personal dread and fear about being around those type of relationships, but it is a deep hidden inside us type fear, because our original family could not or would not protect us against the original family bully or bullies, ie narcissists. We may be in denial, but our body and brain's survival modes are not in denial. We may even have a feeling of being high because we are going up against the most dangerous cat in the wild, the saber tooth tiger. It is a kind of near death experience, which can be a kind of addiction. There is a saying that says, if you don't want to get drunk, stay out of the bars. So to stay sober emotionally, we may need to stay out of family interactions and gatherings. Especially If it is a family member, no matter how pleasant, if they have not worked on their problems, then interactions with them, ca like a shoot out at the okay corral, On a subconcious level, the goal is to survive the situation. So we are kidding ourselves to think there is no risk to the freedom, healing, and health we have gained, since the last show down at the okay corral. In my case I didn't know the true depth of the hostility another had towards me, because they had never given me the impression that I was relevant at all, although there had never been any trust or love. Just the illusion of those affinities. In essence they hate us and want to steal and take possession of our identities and position, our personality and essence. We think there can be no fear because we have figured out who they are, so therefore we will remain safe. But ironically as we have sought to heal and grow with some real provable success, they may have grown deeper into their own very entrenched disorder, especially if they are acting all friendly. They can not sustain their persona because it is fake and they are in an anxious state due to all their big plots and schemes. But chances are they are still nurturing all those beefs they have had with every other person they have ever met, but they think it's their divine right to pick on you, and blame you for all life's unfairness'. Bullies lack courage, and so pick on isolated seemingly abandoned people. When they come back into your proximity, you may not recognize them because they have white washed their personality in an attempt to win you over. But if you've worked on your own personal issues, you know enough to let them play out their odd game and wait for them to overplay their strategy and so reveal their true unhealed nature. My point is even after successfully avoided their snares, and having seen through their newer fake version, it may still be a shocking experience like getting stung by a stingray. You may feel like you just met with evil and survived. It can even feel like the worste evil you have ever seen in them ever. And in our shock we may be amazed how right our truth has been about them.A big reason we have profound dread that can feel like confidence is because we may still be thinking no one helped us survive this kind of person in the past, and there is no one who is going to help us now. That's when we should double our efforts at self care and interacting with communities in fellowship of like kind. We are worthy of receiving the love and care of others who definitely know the depths of our challenge to get and stay well, no matter who we are with, what is going on, or where we are. Our healthy community goes with us.
Great video Paula... I had to do it all whilst in the relationship... that first year of it all even all these years later still effects me and I need a little recap reminder... I needed this thanks xx
Bravo 🎉 , our Paula ❤ It really is a long road to full recover , with more rhan a few bumps along the way . Even now , two years on I still hear their toxic judgement in my head on nearly wvery decision I make , they really did have that much of a hold over me ! Just an observation from my journey , I noticed after the discard I had become very tunnel visioned and was limiting myself with very repetative patterns of behaviour . I noticed rhat even though they gone I was still functioning in the ways they had trained me , and my life fealt very small . Thats when I started to try to think outside the box , started doing new and different things , and suddenly whole new worlds full of alternative possibilities started opening up to me . I had bought into the idea that their linited reality was the only reality , but this was a lie all along . I realise now they we just teying to control me by instilling the concept into me that only THEY knew best , and only THEY held the truth ! Beacause my self confidence was virtualky zero I seemed blind to the fact that I was living in a very confined and controlled space , when in reality there were many other universes out there just WAITING to be explored ! ❤️❤️🙏
such great explaination and therapy
love your new screen
Thanks Emmaline I’m trying to improve 🤓
My ex actually said " I know you better than you know yourself. It's bonkers 💯
You are awesome sister. You are a spirtual giant. Thank God for you.🌷
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Selfknowledge and selftrust. Guarden your boundaries. Going inwards and selfpartnering. No contact. Selfcompassion selflove and selfcare and thrive. .
so grateful I found your channel! I went through severe narcissistic abuse for over 3 years. just got away from it recently and so much of what you’ve shared rings true in my situation. thank you for putting so much info out there, it’s helping me stay strong and stay away from my abuser 💛
He never knew who I am❤
I am over 20 years out, but I am still learning about NPD. Just when I think I know just about everything I watch another video and you bring to light some wonderful insight about the marriage I was in. I watch one of your video's almost everyday, they are a god send. You explain things in language we all can relate to. Thank you Paula ❤
You are so welcome!
Thank you. This video has given me encouragement to prepare/face what will be the final involvement with the ex-narc. Bracing for a property law suit and the narc is up to their tricks again. That loss of full control means everything to them. I need to not be reactive and gray rock as much as possible. Your videos have educated me so much!
Thankful that I found your videos via FB. I'm a You Tube student of Prof Sam Vaknin and Dr Ramino. I also have learned much from HH Tudor. You work is adding beneficial insight that I haven't quite heard before. Thank you. I look forward to soaking up all of your treasures.
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Thank you Paula. That so makes sense to me. So glad I found your videos. He lives in my vacinity and have felt him like a shadow eventhough i dont physically see him him Ive feel not free. Am taking your advice and work on my true self. He DOES NOT KNOW ME
Wonderful!
my narc was so abusive I wondered at one point if someone was paying her to harass me and of course get me hooked as well the viciuos cycle .
This was a great important teaching for me Paula!
I’m still struggling but will surely keep focusing on “bursting his (the narc) bubble!
Keep these coming!
I’m astounded at your glorious wisdom& teachings!
THANKYOU,God bless you!🎉🙏
You are so welcome!
o my God you are so right about that. To put you in that role bad
Thanks this really helps Paula x
Outstanding ! Portsmouth, NH. USA💪🙏
Thank you Paula . I Completely understand . Your one of my favorite advisors.❤
my narc shock me so hard where I focus on the narc to prove myself all the while she was on a dating site planning a long term real relationship with someone who was not trash as she said I was and next breath I was heaven sent and showed her that she like women now and not men . but if the narcs mouth is moving it is lieing .
Need some guidance. My ex filed for divorced and diacarded me in December. I sent him photos of his son( which is 2)
He never replied. I REACHED OUT AND ASKED HIM IF HE IS EVER GOING TO ASKED HOW HIS SON IS DOING. He then did once or twice. Asked him to come and se him. Then after a few weeks he asked me if he can phone him. I said he was asleep and that he is only going to upset him. Now he does not.want to pay maintenance because he says I am refusing him access to his son. During the discard he took his 2 foster children( from a previous relationship) over christmas to go and do a job. But he was only going to meet up with his new girlfriend. I SUPPORTED THEM FINANCIALLY FOR 4 YEARS. IN THE DIFORCE IT STATES THAT I REFUSED TO ACCEPT HIS CHILDREN. SHOULD I SUE HIM FOR MAINTENANCE OR JUST LEAVE IT. HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME. HIS FAMILY SAYS IT IS BETTER FOR ME TO RAISE MYBSON ON MY OWN. WHAT SHOULD I DO.
I think you are wonderful and explain so much to us. May I also add these types of narsistic men from what I have been learning are non sexual except if they want something. It does make a woman feel in every way unattractive which Im not. Even any flirtation makes you feel like your taking the lead and why do you have a need to do such nonsense? Men snd women should just naturally be interested in the opposite sex. I began to feel like a non sexual robot. Thats what they want. I forgot what it was like to be a besutiful woman. I have been blessed to find that part of myself again that was missing and there is no crazy narsistic weirdness involved with my new man. He's just normal. Im never going to be a babysitter again for any narsistic guy that thinks sex is dirty. I made sure my new man can't keep his hands off me and Im going to keep him!! ❤
Please talk about narcissistic wife
Hi jahadish, I found 3 videos Paula's made already (I'm really new to the channel, so there could more) spot a female narc, The female narcissist, and, your story matters, (it's a male account of being narcissistically abused by his ex ) hope it helps, I'm sure she'll make more female ones too in the future too 🕊
@@Beth00009 Thanks a lot 🙏🙏🙏
@jagadish kumaran you're very welcome 👍🏻
Just substitute ‘she’ for ‘he’ when you listen.
This is what Sam Vaknin says. The process is the same. He tends to use ‘he’ for narcs and ‘she’ for borderlines but is clear it is mostly interchangeable.
Where there are sex differences - eg male borderline/ covert narcissist he makes that clear.
Male or Female narcs behave the same awful way...
This video is brilliant. Xxx
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Hello, i managed to not pick up phone to my npd sister for 6 months, now she is ringing me and i find myself telling her everything, to which she offers solutions, but i feel like i am trying to sound like my life is good enuf for her, it feels like it did b4, beginning to, i don't want to talk to her at all because i end up feeling depressed, i wish i hadn't started this again, she will begin to put me down, its already started in a nuanced way, real friends usually back you up by relating to you, this is just getting information, i think i will not answer phone or otherwise go grey rock, she is not ,y friend or sister, i don't like her, 😞! I wish i had someone to talk to about this, you have said Narc con to get them out of your life, if i make myself scarce, it will annoy her!😅 I just feel depressed when i think about either of them, my sisters! They are there to try to destroy me! Not my friend
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and thank Paula , you are so helpful but I am still fresh in the sad phase of all this . but I will get theough with your help ! thank you
Thanks Paula!!
You are the best Paula 👌🏻❤
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He thinks he knows me. X ive had enough now. Move on.
You are amazing! Thanks for all you do.
I appreciate that!
Thank you 🥹🥹
You’re welcome 😊
Reality sucks😢
All true. In quick sand
U can commit to them but it's not a long term thing they will cheat with your best friend or people introduce to them Stay away don't look back I am 7 months in and it is hard work not to think about them and who they having sex with
Thanks!
Thank you for all your support
@NarcCon You have helped me immensely. The amount of research you put in is amazing. Thank you, Paula.
Ha! He has everyone spell-bound. Gifted at public speaking. He could seduce an audience let alone the old me.
It’s said that lucifer had a beautiful voice
a lot of this info applies to romantic relationships with narcs, but what about narc mothers? Any info about that? They don't discard, and it difficult to disentangle from them.
Video in listing on mothers
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Hare Krishna
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Thanks Paula, this really helped me. Many of your videos have, but I am writing this because I am about five months out and want him out of my head.
I will focus on my own life and identity, like you said. I appreciate this channel.
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