The Narcissist Knows You Will Go Through This Post Discard - (Narcissist Channels)
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- This video delves into the foggy experience post discard, when survivors understand what they've been through in the relationship with the Narcissist, but find it difficult to move forward. Hopefully this video will throw some light on your cognitive dissonance and lead you towards the light in providing understanding and tools to help move forward, and experience a clearer vision emotionally, of exactly who you were dealing with.
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I trust my instinct today. If someone makes me feel uncomfortable I walk away
A Narc is like a drug. It gives you wings to fly and then it takes away the sky
That is an awesome saying!
Yup I felt on top of the world when I was with her now I’m close to being suicidal
@@pauleastwood3694 please let me tell you these evil empty meat suits are not worth taking your life over. Once you understand they have no soul the spell is gone. It’s all fake. I learned a lot from this horrible pain. I learned what a precious gift it is to have a soul. I have essence. A conscience , free will to do the right thing. I can feel at peace in my own company. I promise you there will be a time when you look back and see what’s going on in this world. There is a lot of people who are false selves. And then there is people who have a true self
@@pauleastwood3694 same here. You are not alone. We are survivors and we will recover. This made you stronger remember that
Close. You wished to fly with someone. They gift your own pair of wings, they are perfectly wrapped. They promise that they will teach you to fly with them (since they already have always had theirs) and promise you eternal sunshine, beautiful rainbows and the fairytale. "Don't be afraid, they will be with you always" was said. They breathe the breath of wind to keep you climbing high. Once you are "sky high" - the air is so thin it's euphoric. It's overwhelming, you're scared and they promise to keep you safe. When you are now higher than you have ever been, the rainbow begins to fade. They never wanted to work through the storms. But aren't rainbows just from little storms that worked their way through and have passed? They can't be associated with storms as they have nothing to do with them. Not one drop. They are above them. All they are concerned with is the rainbow and them being on the other end of it. Something doesn't seem right, and you can't help but to notice that the sun begins to set. The wind "beneath your wings" is no longer there. In fact, they steal back the air. You're now in a vacuum - empty space. They finally take back the wings, because they now think it's silly - you do not need them now and you didn't deserve them anyway. Alas, before you know it...the long and hard fall back to to the hard ground. It's earth shattering. You're now broken and you are now indeed alone.
About going fast: Delayed gratification is a sign of intelligence. Narcs want everything NOW. A pattern.
@@chriswyma145 you sure summed it up.
@@chriswyma145 yup. I agree. A series of snapshots in time each one not connected to the others
@@chriswyma145 "minimizes time for prudent forethought" Nice take Chris. Keeping em happy, blaming ourselves, and boom, there goes 20 years of marriage. and "a zero sum reality"
Thank God, He dosn't play second fiddle to time.
agreed
That's why my ex always babbled on about "magical thinking" and "living in the moment".
My narcissist ex and I used to watch a ton of horror movies together. The one night, we'd been drinking quite a bit, and as we saw a character on screen killed rather gruesomely, she bursts into laughter and says, totally nonchalantly, "Hurting people is so funny". At the time, I wrote it off as the alcohol talking, but knowing what I know now about narcissism, man... what a confession.
😳
yep Jesse. we were watching a movie,where the witch came out of the swamp pointed her boney fingers
at the lad. the boy said " you dont mean to eat me do you"? exactly at the same time, the narc looked
directly at me and pointed her bony finger at me,and they both said together , "Indeed i do" ha ha ha .
You aint alone, and you aint crazy. stay well Bud.
Had a similar experience
I remember when I started "datin" a girl, there was soooo much power dynamic goin on between us, till a point she said, "this ain't a game no more", then she wanted both to see the film "Funny games" 😂😂😂, I said don't want to see that gratuitous violence film, it's not gratuitous she replied 😂😂😂😂
Paula why do they target us loving thoughtful caring types,we don’t deserve it at all 😢
You’re absolutely right Paula, remembering the cruelty can take your breath away, I have plenty to think back on so it helps my healing. Nasty, evil, cold hearted individuals who will never be happy. Thanks for giving us all strength to move on 🌹
I'd rather eat cut glass, than go any where near that narcissist. Pure evil incarnated.
It takes time before we understand what we are in with the narc . No contact is hard at first , we are addicted . Then comes the real confusion , the cognitive dissonance. Patience , the light will come ! Two years since the discard . We have to go through hell to get to the other side , no short cuts . Their lack of true empathie comes out when animals are involved , a real unmasking of their cruelty and ego .
Yes my dog was injured severely I belleve someone stabbed her and because of his position the police did not press charges. I can not wrap my head around what had occurred. Its so evil it was done to hurt me. I still am in complete shock a year and 7 months later. I now know why I took my daughter away from him 28 years ago before she was born. Got back with him when she was 18 and she had zero interest in being a part of his life. My daughter was getting married(our) and he didnt want me to go threatened to throw me out if I went to the shower. I said go ahead and I woke up and my dog was bleeding to death. Claimed it was dog on dog accident. Didnt wake me up and let her bleed all night in crate. Took to emergency vet 27 staples and chest tube. No accident. Police declined to press charges. I am heart broken. He acts like it was no big deal. These people are evil. I have never seen anything like it. Please be careful
I become a remote colleague permanently in March 2020. After my 9th breakup with the Narc in September 2020, I decided it would be a good time to get a puppy to keep me company as I was home by myself each day. When I reunited with the Narc in late September 2020, I told him I would be picking up the puppy in early November. He acted excited for me and loved the pictures I had. His 2 children were excited too. The week I was to pick up the puppy, he told me that he was deeply hurt that he “had been replaced by a puppy” and that the puppy would destroy our relationship. I ended it with him on 11/14 and accused him of having someone “waiting in the wings” - turned out I was right. He hoovered me just 3 weeks ago and I took the bait. We didn’t speak but texted and I was pretty ugly to him after he said he would always care for me. They will say anything. I am so glad I am out of the 3 year hell I was in. Yes, it does get better. I am talking to a new man and it feels good to feel normal and free of the anxiety.
They are parasites 🦠 and coverts are the most stealth dangerous.... please run a check on new guy Many are not legally divorced My boss got subpoenaed ( wife hacked phone car ) Welcome to 2021 🔥
Your pup is a much truer love than any man will ever be....your dog will never be a Narcissist!!! Kick the man to the curb and enjoy whatever time God gives you with the best love of your life..your dog.
@@gwortman3515 why am I taking this as such a sexist comment? Narcs aren't just men, in case you didn't know. I had no idea what the true meaning of "narc". I didnt even know that NPD even existed. 40 years on earth and never met anyone quite like my ex. I only learned of the narc and NPD only after torturous months of aftermath and 25 lbs weight loss because of the heartbreak. I got word salad and a nonsensical excuse of a break up. No closure. Just the discard.
My take cognitive dissonans: to hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time. Exhausting and confusing. Words and action dont match.
Yes 👍
I completely agree. The trauma bond almost killed me after everything he has done to me. It was all done with full intention. He thought he would brake my spirit or kill me. When I survived attempts on my life and everything 2 statements ring in my head 1- You must have a guardian angel I did not try to kill you. Gas was intentionally left on slowly and the dog alerted me. This was one of several attempts. 2- No matter what happens I want you to know you are one of the strongest ppl I have ever met, with that said he was intentionally causing problem after problem that did not break me. Everytime I went back escaping got harder and more terrifying. I can not grasp the evil of someone I was totally in love with. Then the trauma bond plays in your mind a year and a half from being out. How in the world can I love someone that has caused me so many problems, pain ect over a 3O year period? Its the hardest thing Ive ever been through.
I'm still healing and watching narcissist videos and mine died back in September. It's weird a part of me is just protective for myself and the other part doesn't want to deal with a relationship with somebody now. I just don't think about it. I feel like my innocence is lost and i'm just satisfied that i am feeling more stable than i was a year ago. A new relationship is the last thing on my mind right now.
THESE VIDEOS ADD TO OUR KNOWLEDGE AND GIVE COMFORT. IT TAKES SEVERAL YEARS TO. RECOVER OURSELVES AND OUR SELF CONFIDENCE.
You're free. Take care.
I was married for 24 years and the divorce was sad and hard but nothing in compare of the 3 yr relationship I was in with the narc ..pure hell and heart ache
Same 24 years of marriage and little more than 3 years with the narc is much more difficult
Same married 23 years with 3 children and then along came (it) 4 years of hell he never committed and we never lived together but hell on earth.. I blocked 3.5 weeks ago and have heard nothing which I’m grateful for this time. I know he will Hoover the door will never be opened again. This week I have been feeling so down but my mind is strong. I will never open the door again.
@@jodieaydemir7868 a Narc is like a drug and the first thing we do to recover is stop using. Stay NO CONTACT at least 6 months. I worked the AA steps. 1) I admitted I was powerless over this “ thing” and that my life had become unmanageable. 2). I asked a Power greater than myself to restore me to sanity.
Same. In a relationship with my ex husband for 18 years. Both terribly sad when we realised our marriage wasn't working but still love and respect there and no regrets. Two years with the malignant Narcissist and I felt like my soul had been crushed. Complex PTSD, cognitive dissonance, traumabond and felt like I was in a tortuous spiritual battle. Still struggling 8 months no contact but better than I was at discard. The most terrifying and devastating experience of my life no question.
i study sam vaknim, and HGTudor.experts, we need to continue studying.
Thanks for your video. Today I declined a lunch invitation with people that don't give a damn whether I'm there or not!
I passed on listening for 2 hours all about their lives. And when I might squeak out something about my life their eyes glaze over. You can tell they are not interested. What a gift really. We really need to believe what we are sensing and commit to being faithful to what our bodies and our consciousness are trying to tell us and to live honestly according to that.
Yes good for you. They are bar studs. Expecting you to be polite and good to them, when they have no intention of doing the same to you.x
It was very possible that he would've found a way to get rid of Remy.
True..
My ex husband said years before I had Grandkids that when we do have them that we wouldn't be minding them, now have 4 Grandkids that I LOVE TO BITS, and LOVE LOVE spending time them, light of my life, divorced and to this day he doesn't bother with them they don't even know his name, Paula like you I got the best in life with my 4 cuties and he has his miserable life, thanks Paula for this video.
Enjoy all the love that comes naturally to you Susan 🌹
They also leave you in the Situation they put you in, and their ghost is still there. Youll Think a lot about the fake future.
In a nutshell This relationship has been the biggest mind F-- of my life. This video was s spot on. Thank you Paula.
I remember so many WOW things.... I always thought am i crazy? They want to have you all for them self. Like a puppet almost. So many red flags... Calculated conversations but also when he had his mask down i felt i was talking to a wee child. Four months of no contact now but he is still on my mind. I am continuing to educate myself by you and HG. Thanx for that!
Hang in there. You will come to not care a bit for him and to see him for the low life that he really is. You will one day soon wonder how you ever put up with T
Knowledge is powerful but it takes a psychic change to get over the addiction
Yes
You have great wisdom....and it can only come from A Higher Power
I don’t remember any truly good times. There were only moments and that is simply not enough.
This is one moment,, how the narc hated my cat ,, my beautiful Siamese cat ,, the smartest most loving creature,, he knew how attached I was to my cat and he was so jealous and kept making comments that were very odd ,,it bothered him that my heart was spiritually attached to this animal ,, and he couldn’t compete ,,
Thank you so very much for this vid. I saw my narc ex for the first time yesterday after months of no contact and was feeling the pull of the trauma bond all over again, stronger than ever. However, u have just reminded me that who I thought he was is not who he really is. I was in love with who I thought he was when in actual fact he is so emotionally abusive and sadistic (he has a very charming, social and gregarious public act). Thank you again, this arrived just when I was needing it 🤗. For those who have waited a year, the trauma bond can still get you - it got me yesterday and it's been a year 😬
Reprogramming your brain after no contact , has that also to do with the traumabond recovery ? And That story of your dog . My God , How cold !
I think we all had moments like him telling you to re-home Remy. Most of my moments when she was in a narc rage and her superiority nonsense soliloquys would leave me speechless.
One day I dreamed about something we had been talking about the night before. However, I didn’t realize I dreamed it. When I went to look it up online like I did in my dream, I was shocked and knew that I had dreamt it! He said “ oh now I can use “you must have dreamt it” and gaslight you”. He actually said that out loud! I was dumbfounded. Who thinks like that? They do!
Paula, I was aslo fascinated, and intrigued. I decided to go around another cycle merely for myself. To study to find clarity. I found it. Finally.
Amazing. She was telling me my extended family was bad for me . Like telling you to get rid of your dog. Isolation.
When I first met him he had a Labrador, he seemed totally in love with his dog and they sat next to each other in front of the TV.. I had to sit elsewhere, which didn't bother me as I thought it was quite sweet... Anyway, this dog was involved in a traffic accident and had an amputation, I realised that he had no idea how to nurse an animal and I did all the medication and care, and tried my best for this poor traumatised dog. I noticed that he didn't want the dog around him, and the dog didn't want to be near him either. It was extremely difficult because this was his pet. After I was discarded he hoovered and I asked about the dog. He told me he "got rid of it". Thankfully a really lovely lady had taken him, a lady who since ia scratching her head on why he isnt interested in keeping contact to see how the dog is doing. These people are not capable of love. They discard pets which I cannot understand. I was severely distressed over this as I couldn't take him with me, I was left homeless from the discard and had to return to an elderly parent in a small flat. These narcs destroy every living being that they can.
Shocking..blessings to you for recovery
Ahh the fog. lets see where this goes.
My ex had a lovely cat, and his cat would always come to sit on my lap to fall asleep…very often the ex would slap the cat while it was sleeping on my lap and call it ‘traitor’……..now I see he was trying to program the cat to not sit on me. My own cats didn’t like the ex and would avoid him when he came to visit, hindsight is 20-20 indeed.
Really helpful! I finally got home to see my parents after two years and going through a divorce. That helped me so much get grounded.
My ex husband went out a bought a dog after I talked about getting a small dog. He later said he bought the dog so I wouldn’t buy one…he wanted the dog as his own. He left last year and of course left the dog. I love dogs…that wasn’t the point…♥️ I just heard myself saying throughout my marriage of ten years “who does that??”
Same X 🐕Google YT pets and narcissist ( maybe dr Ramani) they all do that my boss gave her dog away after 15 yrs said she couldn’t afford.. They are insane 👹Also many run the pet rescues they love to be hero
My ex husband to be left his dog too! I said what you said. Who does this?
@@Birdlady5555 I am so sorry. This is a whole different level of evil for sure!
I’m doing everything I can to move forward.
@@lovewhitey2027 so this is common? I can’t believe it. I’ll have to check out dr Ramani. He he adopted the dog from a friend of his.
Thanks for the amazing work you are doing on this channel. My ex narcissist used to begrudgingly come on dog walks with me around the city. On various occasions dog lovers would stop and pet my dog, at this point he would always ask them if they wanted the dog. One day he asked a man if he wanted to buy my dog for 50p! I had always thought this was very strange, but this video has helped me realise that it was all part of his disorder and the lack of control over me having a dog that he didn't want. xxx
Yes 🐕❤️
Oh my gosh my ex narc did the same thing. They have zero compassion for animals. They may fake liking them here and there but it’s fake. They are even jealous of our love for animals.
But definitely!!!!! The next person I meet, if they ask questions about my house, money, etc. I just will not say anything. And if the silence is too awkward, I guess they will be out the door pretty fast.
I've always been very close to my mother. My wife was kind of jelous even though my mother never interfered in our marriage in any way. When we migrated to her home country I was missing my mother a lot and sometimes worried that I would never gonna see her again. One day I was sad and my wife came close to me and said "you are aware that your mother is gonna die, right?" My mother's health was perfectly fine at that moment btw.
I did the same thing. I allowed him to hoover me a bit. I wouldn't sleep with him, but went out for lunch with him, conversations etc.... He ALWAYS makes me feel like crap. It's just evil energy.
He just wanted you to get rid of Remi because he is somebody that you love
Yes Heather I agree
Yes this a great explanation why narcissisti can make you forget what they did to you even after they have been fiscally abusive!! They can be so charming that they make you forget the abuse and belive the future faking that this time everything will be different!! 🍀
I would send pics of my dog, he would never comment at all on her. I thought it was really strange.
I’m so happy you and Remy are together and doing great. Thank you both for planting seeds of Love
💕 💕💕
Thank You
It’s an addiction and the AA program works great just substitute the Narc for a drink
Can you make a video on how some covert narcs can feel like a twin flame connection during the love bombing/honeymoon phase and why some of us try even harder to make the relationship work because they are "US" please. ❤️ I'd love some insight on this topic and you explain things so eloquently. Thank you!
And everybody, who has loved an empty case / shell must go through an very very painfully development to become free, but after this development , evolution you are completely free and more stronger than before. Also you are highly trained in mimical and bodylanguage, to read between lines, to hear between words, you have developed a highly sensitively feeling, more than ever before.
1 minute after posting and only 2nd. Popular channel
In October 2020, I lost my dog at the age of 15 months in an unexpected death. I needed time to heal, my narc EX , and I’m so glad he’s an ex , he decided to go out for ‘coffees’ with someone else , because he also needed HEALING. Hahahahahah. He said he also needed to confide in someone , since I had my family to lean on , that new girl was his person to lean on. After that I caught him in bed with her , he triangulated me , asked me if I’d marry him or should he marry this other girl who was standing right in front of me with the narc.
I’m soooooo glad I am done with the pain and trauma. 1.5 years and the pain has gone. The experiences remain but they don’t make me cry or sad any more. He hoovered me with sending pictures of him with yet another new girl. Lolll. The last time it happened , I was jealous. This time when it happened , I felt bad for the new girl.
I still wish him the best because it’s no good of a life to keep looking for new supply and live and breathe on supply all the time. Getting bothered if you don’t get supply. What a pity party. Guess what , he can go fuck himself. I am very glad to be done with him.
The main strength that distinguishes your channel, I think, is your emphasis on coming out the other side, eventually better than ever. I have experienced this myself, but have not seen it ratified on other channels. Way to go, Paula.
🙋♀️🌹
I think that is really good advice about a year on from being NC. I am almost 4 months now and the longest I have gone without contact in 7 years. For me it is the loss, from speaking every day and him coming to mine etc. to nothing. I am getting there about reconciling myself to the fact that he is a raving narc and I am better off without him for sure as his treatment of me was appalling. That in itself shows the scary power the trauma bond! I have to adjust to life on my own and will in time. He wasn't particularly nice about animals either! He would call me pathetic when I stroked dogs.
Thank you for this great video Pola. If you give yourself a year of no contact with a narcissist and love yourself, take care of yourself respect yourself, you will never want to reconnect with them ever again. You have the better part of the deal Pola. ❤ God bless you ❤
Hi Paula....and thank you
Great, great video! You are such a blessing! I am feeling great. It is just about a year of no contact. I would never want any of it back! I have learned a lot am learning to truly love myself! Sometimes I think it was worth the pain to come through with everything I have learned about life and myself. Thank you for helping me get here! 😘
Wonderful news 🙏❤️🌹
Thank you for the story of Remmy. It's so my narc. I am leaving the narc this weekend. You have fueled my jets!!! thank you thank you
Wonderful!
Wow... I would be so mad about his comments about Remi. What he was saying was so damn rude. And another thing - as you said at the end "give yourself a year"
I'm sorry you went through that fear w your beautiful dog Remy.
My beloved indoor kitty went strangely missing during a time I was away 5 days rehabilitating from adrenal failure during the disengagement malice campaign.
The exe had ghosted off w new supply, but how my indoor cat went missing was always a mystery blamed on the realtor who looked at me like WTF was I talking about.
HG helped me make sense of a potential the narc hurt the cat so I would blame a realtor and look crazy.
We had raised several dogs and a few cats together.
He hated the cats and all the animals were a problem to him but one dog he had prior to meeting me.
But he blamed that dogs death even tho he abandoned him...even tho I invited the dog come live w us...he denied the dog live w us.
When the dog died years later while raising other boxers, oh I heard it was my fault for almost 15 years on and off.
I can tell you numerous spine chilling stories about the exe narc and our other animals.
Its enough for me to stay far away.
That man was a psychopath.
Once you know, you go and stay far away...
Paula,
Much love n thanks to you and Remy!
🙋♀️🥰
It’s better to re-home the narcissist
😀🐕
Excellent research value behind this video. Better every time. And you look great….don’t lose those eyeglasses….
Laura, more than a year. It takes a lot longer.
Sorry Paula.
😊🙋♀️❤️
Yes, give him a hug. I was talked into re-homing my two cats. I did it, too. I regret that move years later.
They live long enough to wave goodbye to you while you’re on your way! Bye bye …narcs are just plain jerks
Powerful video...I did the same thing...just went back into the fog....ok now....I'm far away again...my dogs are my family too.
There's another layer of difficulty when it's your only child & affecting your relationship with your grandchildren.
Thank you it is hard to think there are narc but when you have had 40 years you now it to well love to all
My god!!!!!!!! Rehoming remi? The narc, who gave me my dog, when he broke up with me. I broke down completely and asked him, "Can you take care of my dog.. and I will take her back when I'm in a better place. And he said, what if you call me for her one day and I tell you that I unleashed her on the street and can't find her anymore.. she is gone.. it created so much conflict inside me. I already was completely gone. On top of that, he said of abandoning my dog. I kept her and didn't allow him at all to even touch her after that. The thing is, he was the one who gifted her to me, and he seemed so nice to her all the time. Now after this video of yours I'm thinking backwards and wondering if he really cared for her or if she was an object to keep him company and make him look like a good boy. Or was she just an excuse to stay in my apartment... this is so shit. I still think abt those words he said some time and they trigger me so badly.
Hi Paula
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and knowledge about this subject. I have used your videos in my healing process and it is actually really strange because in my process, I have faced very hard times and I still do...but watching your videos, listening to your voice have made me calm...like physically. I have experienced my body feeling nervous ....like before an exam ...every morning 5 o'clock when I open my eyes my body and mind has been nervous and when I am watching your videos I begin to feel more relaxed. It feels like you are a friend far away but yet just here and sometimes I am thinking 'how cool it could be to go to Ireland and visit Paula'....laughing...I know it sounds strange but in the need of a friend who really understand the dynamics in a narc relationship you are an amazing help....THANK you for that. I have also noticed that I am searching for stories and examples that I can resonate with...relationships that looked like mine. I find peace with knowing that others have experienced something similar to me. Have you told about your relationship in some of your videos? I have seen SO many of your videos and now I'm so curious to know what you have been through. Hope to hear from you. All my thoughts and hopes from Denmark
Will be writing a book thanks for your wishes 🌹
The soon ex husband turned very cold towards my pets as well (he probably always was) After my Labrador passed away, i eventually thought i may get another one but he was totally against it. . Needless to say, he blindsided and discarded me May 2023 (he had been having his affair at work) . Hes been gone, im just ready to finalize this divorce that hes dragging out (although he filed) He slithered off to shack up with her & im here with all my other beautiful pets. Im so much better off. Im taking alone time to heal❤ I have so much Love & these demons will NEVER change that, Nor FEEL like we do. Thanks Paula 💚💜🩵
You got me laughing when you say your narcissist said you must forget about this narcissist rubbish,it reminds me that my partner called me a narcissist while the real narcissist is her,and I didn't knew a thing about narcissism ,she introduced me to make a research and that where i started to visite a therapist confused and realised i was in big trouble
Omg!! I did the same thing!!! I saw through him from early on, but no one else did. I was very curious, so I taped him about a year as he was stalking me. Plus I needed the tapes for police reporting, but it was wild to me. I knew one day I would be able to have peace and be able to see it all. Which I did! 💙🥰
Since the narcissist discarded me nearly 3 mths ago I have been so unwell while he is with his new supply hapoy with her they are awful people thank you Paula live your videos
🌹🙏
Interesting segment about the pets. I remember my narc ex gf being “annoyed” with me because I still loved my ex wife’s dog. And I remember telling her, that dog had nothing to do with my divorce, and in fact, was the sweetest dog I’ve ever known. And then after the discard, she told me not to get a cat because they stink up the place with their waste. Mind you we weren’t even in a relationship, certainly were not living with each other, and instead of recognizing that animals for me are emotional support, she just dismisses all of that, and projects her feelings of how she views pets onto me. It’s absolutely maddening.
The narc sucked me into adopting 3 black kittens because he said he wanted one for himself and we just couldn't leave the one sibling. "They are our babies", he said, I'll pay half. He never even bought food or litter. When I asked, who will watch the cats when I go on vacation, ( I meant when we go on vacation),he said. "I will" . He then said he can't be tied down with a cat. We all were discarded. He just wanted to see what he could get away with. I was under some kind of toxic spell.
YES WE WERE ALL UNDER THAT TOXIC SPELL AND IT TAKES MORE THAN A YEAR TO HEAL. NARCS ARE GOOD ACTORS AND LIARS.
I m so glad your relationship with the narc, was relatively short Paula, and that no harm came to Remy.
I stayed too long and my dog mysteriously prolapsed two discs in her back, thus paralysed.
The vet found it very suspicious but nothing could be proved.
I still see her eyes trying to tell me.
Oh that’s truly awful Kerryann very distressing I’m so sorry
Sorry to bring anyone down.
I spent a week taking Francesca from vet specialists to osteopaths before we finally said goodbye.
One day, about a year later and much grief, I looked on Dogsonline.
There were her eyes looking back at me!!!!
Turns out that the top Lhasa Apso breeders in Australia had a 9 mth old female puppy for sale.
I have a great friend who is a Lhasa show judge, and he recommended me.
I know that The Lord was watching over me, and my baby was reincarnated.
From the day she came to me, Miley knew things that only Frankie and I had shared.
Good does always triumph over evil.
Miley is 10 on Saturday and I treasure every moment we have shared.
The hardest thing for most people is finding inter peace after giving and lost ! Learn to set up a time and a place to cry , vent to GOD ! Mine was bedtime and shower time this way my children never saw me falling apart ! And I gave myself bits of me every day ! The only closure anyone will every need is the disrespect , manipulation, deception, 2 face person ! Keep the dreams you supported in that relationship and MAKE IT HAPPEN for you !
I remember one incident with my now ex-narcissist.
We were planning a trip, and had just gotten our passports and went to Wendy's to grab some lunch.
As we sat in the drivethru waiting, an older couple pulled up, the man got out and went to help his wife get out of the car and walk in, she looked like she was struggling to move.
She said to me "I bet you wouldn't do that for me."
I was so blown away that she would think that, let alone say it, I didn't even know how to respond.
I'd also just paid for her passport and lunch.
My astounding moment: after giving up on my career, following him and his work around the world with our 4 kids, I decided to leave him. His Hoover attempt was to offer me to quit his job and take care of the children (2 were adults by then) and let me be the breadwinner at the age of 50+. 😂
Very practical. Thanks Paula & Remi🙏😘
ok 2mins in.not only dealing with fact over fiction, but the original fact turned out to be fiction.
3 in the morning here in ozz. say hello p.
Never walk backwards find peace in yourself ! This person is not your future
I agree with giving yourself a year of no contact and then see how you feel. However, I told myself I don't care if I think about him until my last breath, there will never be ANY reconnecting what so ever!. I will never allow someone like that to take ANY of my time ever again.
Besides....I don't care to fraternize with evil spirits. No thank you! 😉
Yes Paula
You are absolutely right about them. He acted like he did with your Remy with my son his wife and my grandkids. Yes get away and stay away. It took me 2 years to get where I am now. I’m not completely healed but close. No contact guys to get you back and to free you from the pain and it’s a must
Another great video and on point..👌
When you start educating yourself on it , you understand what exactly was happening with you..
It leaves you in a state of shock and you think “Oh no! What nonsense did I get myself into!”
However, they are masters & very skilled at trapping & grooming people to get what they want.. Best is to go NO CONTACT, move on and start healing yourself..
Narcissism and Narcissists is a REAL thing and is happening all over the world.. Only a person who has personally gone through it will understand what it really is.. To someone who has never experienced it, it will be like Latin..
Love you ma’am and thanks a million..😘🙏
🥰 your comment 🌹
@@NarcCon.. Thank you ma’am..🥰🤗
Oh you're so right, when you look back at everythibg now it's so mind blowing! Everything with them is premeditated! Like who wakes up thinking how can I manipulate today? I understand you about the dog, its so insane. Ex narc supposedly loved my dog and she's perfect I can't live without her, but then I would go crazy thinking why is he so like that in love with her in front of people and behind closed doors it's like he cared one day and the next like she's not even there?! I swear I would argue with him a lot about it coz my head would spin. You say you love her and promote her and you do this and that for her, but then I'm the one taking care of her 95% of the time, but he'd then make me look like the bad one if she got sick and I don't care and she's sick because of me and I'm a bad dog mum, that would kill me. I even said she's not an accessory where you can pick and choose when you want her. The first msg I recieved after 6 months of no contact after the brutal discard, with no remorse no apology or anything (leaving me for God knows who he was grooming as he's still hiding) asked about the dog and misses her and if he can have her for a weekend? I was like WTF?! You a**hole, thats the first thing after everything you've done to me you ask? Then you think I'm just gonna hand her to you? Hell NO! Should've thought about that before your big secret came out! I shouldn't have responded but I thought I'd test him see how much he does care or miss her, told him she's been to the vet and needs teeth taken out. I got no response! Once again, no care and no empathy, just a controlling game!
LOVE ME, LOVE MY DOG or **** off! As ever Paula a cracking video. You help me so much, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are an amazing person x
🙋♀️🙏🌹
I can't ever get to "how was it in the relationship" because I've been so conditioned to ignore the reality of the dismal situation and instead love despite the legitimate pain caused by someone I deeply love out of compassion, loyalty and very profound understanding & belief that they are doing the best they can. The fact it's not enough (causes extreme pain & an erosion of self worth and overwhelming feelings of neglect) doesn't get put into the equation because all that matters is the Other is hurting and lost. I realize how fucked up that sounds and yet it's my reality... this goes back to loving a mother who tried to kill herself in my presence more than once - and more than once saving her life. Loving someone so important to your own survival and needing their love in return but understanding on a soul level they can't EVER reciprocate sets you up to love in a manner that is sure to bring heartache and suffering. Truly 💔'ing.
This is a really insightful, and somewhat upsetting video. I am so glad you stood your ground about Remi. But your video also resonated because I realised there were lots of things you wanted to say to him in hindsight, but somehow didn't feel able to say at the time. When I look back on my interactions with 'my' narcissist, there are so many things I wish I'd said to her - so many things I wish I'd challenged her on - and somehow whenever I'm face to face with her, I always forget what I want to say. This makes me feel like they have some kind of ability to block our emotional response? I like to think of myself as being quite sceptical and objectively minded, but there are times when I wonder if narcissists have some sort of spiritual link to us! Anyway I hope you are ok and keeping well :)
Thank you..all very good now 🌹
This is very helpful! It is our curiosity that traps us. These people are fascinating. We wonder what is this? We want to find out what it is. We are hooked by our curiosity. I have ended up writing a book about my experience, as a way to deal with it Beyond RUclips videos. I think your channel is among the most effective and attractive. I, too, was greatly affected by the Sackman channels, and still watch them. Currently, I am certainly enjoying your take on all these fascinating human mysteries, that are sometimes so painful.
Vachon, not sack man. My phone is a poor translator sometimes. Take care.
Professor Sam Vaknin
The mother of my girlfriend had 2 beautiful Birds, and a dog. The mother said " sometimes i wish they were dead in the morning". I reminded my narc of this one time and she denied that she ever said this. I insisted, and she became nasty "you are walking on thing ice". The dog was the only dog i ever saw with Rings under the eyes, and she always wanted to give Orders, and only her. She was jelous when i petted the dog, she was envious of animals, people and even plants. Right now, i see her as a nasty chitinous fly, she even dressed in toxic " fly colours "!
Thanks Paula yes I am looking forward to a new life healed from the darkness of the Narc🎭 Excellent video
🙋♀️🌹
When I look back on situations with him all the birthdays and xmass and holidays he would ruin and when he raged it astounds me that I tolerated it the way I did it took 28 years to understand the situation I was in and then another 5 years after that to break free its horrific the mental emotional abuse you go through they tie you up in knots and when you have kids with them too it makes it even worse he still is playing the victim and looking for someone to blame he always will he cannot self reflect they can't perpetual victims his mother once said to me when I had first started seeing him about a year in when I was 19 after he broke my nose she said 'you must have done something to upset him' understanding about his disorderand why hes they way he is she was a massive part in that but she tried to blame me ....I saw him about 3 months in when he first lost his temper back in 1989 when I was desperately in love with him and blamed myself i only wish i would have left then spending decade after miserable decade with these creatures scrambles your mind luckily i am still here and still sane not sure how but I am and focusing on my needs now and steering well clear of angry people all I want now is peace ❤
Through your peace wishing you joy
Hi Paula....You reminded me of a couple of situations
Narcs hate animals...they Envy them and resent the attention and love we Empaths give our pets!
I heard...why dont you treat me like you treat your dog...(why do you hold me accountable?)
You love your dog more than your niece and nephew!...my sister hated the bond I had with my dogs
Brutal!
Tina Gribben,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
@@christianpulisic7784 I'm alone but my therapy dog just passed...so I'm struggling...Paula and this group is a help ❤❤❤
@@tinagribben1165 Oh ok dearest 🌹🌷🌷.I am Christian from the States.You?
@@christianpulisic7784 Canadian 🇨🇦
@@tinagribben1165 Wow!!😍😍😍😍😍,are you on Hangouts or Gmail so we can always talk?
The XNarc I knew was a farmer and he was more than happy to help me get a horse and of coarse keep it at his place
Luckily, I was born six weeks too early without much contact to other human beings. This made me a bit weird, I guess, but I never let the narcissist 100% into my heart. Yes, I tried harder and harder to be a good wife and mother, but deep in my heart I knew I did a good job and didn’t need his validation. I rejected his criticism because I felt it was unfair and not justified. I left him after he started an affair and I miss being a family, but I sure don’t miss him! Looking back I see that he put in zero effort into the relationship.
Great clarity Thanks Sandy
Well, he's stopped bothering me, and he's not here, so I guess all I have to do now is get on with life starting now and forget what happened, no matter what was good and what was bad.
So sweet. Yes. One year deal. You're so sorted. Sending you love.
Thank you so much!
DAMN!!!
My Ex-Wife Knew Exactly What She Was Doing For 8.5 Damn Years!
THIS NEEDS TO BE A NATIONAL CRIME!
😡🤬
Thanks! I always get something helpful from you!
I never wanted him back , I was embarrass , I felt rob of years and youth , financially I could have done better , I felt bad for my children even though they are not babies youngest teenager but they were so lost - we were so lost as in who the hell is this person ! They were left wondering how does he really feel about each of them ! Happy I discarded his behind ! Thanking God for his Grace and Marcy and peace ! My children hurt + mine Never have I ever wanted his behind back not then or now ! The oldest still are still no contact their personal choices! The youngest still enjoy being around him - however knows and accept him as a manipulative person. !
I have two types of friends: the ones who knew what I was dealing with, and the ones who became flying monkeys.
Fortunately, I never got quite addicted to the narcissist.
You are so amazing💕 thank God that I found you 🙏
🙏🌹🙋♀️
Helpful hint! Speaking knowing, is better then speaking! thinking! .
This reminds me of Frankenstein. What they do to our brain. WOW. Lord help us. 😢❤
Paula, your analogies are masterful,such clearly!! Thank you
Aww... Remmi. My ex narc wanted me to give up my daughter!! I told him,, " then I leave too!" My daughter has always been my ray of sunshine, always such a good sweet girl.
We need to recover from the narc hangover...very well put💫they have nothing we need. Cut'em off totally to heal & free yourself