All Narcissists End Up Losing
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- Опубликовано: 3 фев 2023
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Timestamps:
00:01 | Intro
00:06 | 1. Withdrawn Self Centeredness
01:55 | 2. Extreme Hypersensitivity
03:50 | Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissistic Abuse
04:13 | 3. Passive Aggressiveness
06:42 | 4. Quick to Exasperation
08:41 | 5. Terrible Friends
10:13 | Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissistic Abuse
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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#covertnarcissism #narcissist #bpd
Mate, you need to stress this, and have more posts about this. Seriously
Mate you need to leave Sam Vaknin alone. YOU ARE A TRUE MALIGNANT NARCISSIST.
It would help those of us who have had their life train wreck by these pieces of shit… Especially the high functioning ones, like my ex BPD/NPD. Seems to get away with it for years and years afterwards!
Its false. Look at john and tony and all those others. 100s and 1000s and millions and billions. Theyre going down but theyre not going down fast enough or first. They will all go. True
These narcissistic people have enablers who are willing to stand by them because of the benefits they get. Sometimes they tell you “oo she’s your Auntie she only wants the best for you, family will always be family” and so on because sometimes the narcissist doesn’t treat them how they treat you (might be close but not exactly the same) which sometimes makes me feel crazy. When I stopped being a supply to my narcissistic sister she got a new supply almost immediately but the new supply isn’t going through most of what she put me through. They seem to always have supportive people on their side. They go down but sometimes even good people go down so what makes the narcissistic person’s special. We all won’t be here forever.
Eventually? He’s not playing cards. He’s playing chess with my life. In my Family Law court case, in the United States it’s called a “simple dissolution.” I’ve been attempting to flee his NPD/DA/CC (coercive control) for over a decade. My eldest 2 children aged out, (turned 18, hit universities and never returned). My youngest is nearly 17. My legally separated spouse calls me, “#3, the wife head count.” #1 is missing and #2 took her own life. He sadistically whispered in my ear at his company’s holiday gathering, while he smiled through his gritted teeth and had his arm tightly around me, squeezing into my shoulder so tightly it left bruises. “#1 and #2 dying embodied too much finality hon. I’ll toy with you like a cat with it’s prey until you’re too exhausted to fight me. There’s much more arousing ways to take a life that don’t end with a toe tag.” I am exhausted, physically, financially, emotionally. My older children are separated and far away to stay safe. The court can’t see the insidious chains he’s chosen to perpetuate abusing me. He has two firms retained. I have to represent myself. He stole every marital asset and uses it all to keep me his. He’s had me almost two decades, it’s the court actors assisting him. How do I ever break free?
My shock is how many Narcissists there are out there. The world is infested with them.
They are everywhere!!!
They are everywhere!
Been thinking the same it's definitely more than 5% of the population...
@@lydiapetra1211 the reason why the number is growing is because we enable them
@@yougotgroove sometimes for decades you don't know that one is a narc. ..
The sad thing is the amount of good people that a narcissist will bring down before they self destruct
It's truly sad.
Its like jumping off a skyscraper. They dont hurt until they hit bottom.
Meanwhile, it's a hell of a ride for them.
Misery loves company.
For so long Narcissism was hidden. Now there are bright lights shining on it. There are many online resources both professionals and those who have experienced narcissists cruelty. The best scenario is to raise mentally healthy children. But first we can starve the narcissist's of supply. I almost would like to tag them and ship them to Guantanamo.
It's like a house surrounded by dynamite.
It's really tragic. Narcissists are *usually* born out of abused, neglected, traumatized children who go on to lead lives with lonely, miserable endings. People, love on your children, set healthy boundaries, teach them to be kind, their entire future is at stake
Thats whats so tragic and heartbreaking about it. Theyre just hurt, traumatized children. And thats what gets a lot of us drawn into them bc we want to help/protect the child version of themselves, if you're privy to what theyve been thru.
@@DanceArchives24 Even sadder- they have a faulty program running where they don't appreciate your help, sacrifices or support. I learned the hard way- you can't help everyone and especially when they'll drag you down. Way down. No Empath is that tough.
So so true
I used to make this excuse for my N mother as well, but it's BS. I had a shitty loveless childhood too, but I was able to self reflect and face my demons. If I can do that at 28, why can't she at 55?
Empathy is wasted on most people, but especially narcs.
Not all Narcs came from abuse! I have 3 siblings that are/were Narcs. Some are spoiled and made to feel special. They feel entitled. Some were never told NO or to consider the feelings of others.
A lot of narc abuse survivors are missing one vital piece of information... The narcs are missing out on a real relationship with you. You're probably a sweet, kind, empathic person - YOU'RE GOLD - and the narc misses out on you when you walk away. Plus they never got to experience and amazing relationship with you. That's their tragedy.
I totally agree !! Thank you for reminding me. 🙏
That's a very narcisistic way of thinking
@@coffeebaconandeggsNo-one with NPD would dream of issuing a message of hope to others if there's nothing in it for them. Your logic is that noone struggling with the effects of abuse is allowed to hear that they have value and deserve love. THAT'S narcissistic thinking.
@@FabulousCucumber-ip9hu Attention seeking is a sign of narcissism
@@coffeebaconandeggssince you want the attention. your username is the result of successful propaganda by Edward Bernays. You are an instrument
They HATE HAPPY people 🖤
Omg so true 1000000000000000000000000000
They cannot conceal their delight when you tell them things aren’t going well for yourself. Ive tested this out on people, even made up fake bad news to see how they would react (nothing crazy, just like “ohhh Ive been drinking too much, I need to get it together”) then they all the sudden feel an unconcealable buzz of happiness
I've noticed this too. I'm a pretty joyful person but I make sure I'm extra Joyful in front of the miserable narc and she explodes and slanders my name. But I believe her lies will only come back to bite her in the butt. The God I serve is bigger than any narssy. I've accepted that it's not my job to expose them, tgat has only lead me to more trouble . It will all be exposed one day, but that's out of my hands.
@@livingwell5892 ❤❤ love this
@@shelbyjuiceyep i made up plenty of lies to my ex and he always has tbis nervous laugh thing but im like nah if I tell u I always died why u wanna know so bad with a smile laughing.. saying ur not laughing HAHAHA sounds like laughter mf guess wat I lied! Then they be feeling exposed vulnerable and empty lmao
I'm not a vindictive person, but this gave me a small feeling of peace knowing justice will be served one day 😌😔
Me too.
NGL.. me too!
Me too,they destroy and move on happily.
I can only hope…
It's just sad if you are there. Narcissists in my family. It's not pretty.
Like Sodom and Gomorrah, never look back to see their destruction, but know that they cannot escape it. Just keep walking into the joy of a narcissist free life.
Nice. 👌🏻
Yes
Right, don't end up like Lot's wife
The narcs I deal with are at this point. People are catching on to their dirty tricks and want nothing to do with that.
I had both parents who were narcissists. So when I came across one at the gun club, he tried to ruin me, and in the process, he lost his gun license. Four years later, he got his license back and came for me one week after getting it. He went nuts on the range and wouldn't leave. He lost his license again and was charged with trespass. He had no ID and didn't sign in so when he said who he was I said no way, you look old as fuck, he's about 45. He looked stunned, I could see it hurt him. I asked if he was on drugs and it took 40 minutes to make him go. He seems to be becoming unhinged.
My dad told me the other day that he thinks he's gonna die alone...i almost laughed 😂😂😂 like, yeah...that's what EVERYONE'S been thinking for years but he is COMPLETELY oblivious as to why no one wants to be around him. A covert narcissist with a 4 year psychology degree is just toughhhhh to be around.
As one person said before, “People get very boring once you realize they are a narcissist.”
They are just clones of each-other. No genuine authenticity, only facades.
My ex. Pretty face. Had a decent mom bod but boring as shit. She's an evil narcissist.
I am a boring person. I have no personality. I put on facades so ppl will like me. I don't want ppl to hurt my true self so I have a decoy personality they can attack just in case.
FR
Wow! So true. After seeing that what you've been looking for in a person isn't there, it's empty...it gets boring.
I have often said of bullies, “They are their own punishment. They are miserable, bitter people, and they have to live with themselves! Sure, they’re awful to be around; imagine what it must be like living in their heads 24/7! A delusional fantasy land where everyone is out to get them and they are martyred saints! We needn’t do a thing to punish them; we do need to stay away from them, like we would avoid radioactive waste. They are toxic. So sad. Tragic, really! 😔
I 💯 agree with this! The narc moved on from girl to girl and now he’s homeless because he screwed with the wrong girl.
What did the wrong girl did to him?
Awesome!!
That’s interesting… my narc lives with his mom but was always hinting he could easily be a “pool boy” because he was such a good pickup artist.
That was too much. I’ve known a few pool boys in my life just friends (I could never afford them!) and they were easy-going, forgiving, hot, and fun. My narc was NO FUN. When I said this he snapped “I KNOW that!” and then he got really mean.
The reason why people feel like the narcissist “got away with it” is because the narcissist did many wrongs and left before anyone that they hurt could get justice. The narc does not give closure. They are cowards that hit and run.
I agree. You know who disagrees? The Narcissist.
100%
Your closure is when you walk away from them. It's a very hard thing to do.
True, the ones I know played the game, look like they have won and are still playing I their game, but they are miserable...Good.
The main one(s) in my life, who were VERY close to me even tried to cut me down and make me seem the black sheep, despite years of not talking as soon as they heard I'd inherited a tiny bit of money from my nan, phonecall from hmrc checking how much I git and where it went it could be a coincidence, but the phone call I recorded of him saying he was going to do exactly what ended up happening kind of gives weight.
Ironically, everyone who thought they were great and lovely people, and that thought i was scum, have seen the real them after they got inheritance from a family member and ran off with it, stating they would give nobody anything.
The house they bought with the £190k> is now becoming a money pit, they've burnt all bridges with family that they'd made hate me...the extended family have apologised to me and now try to actually stay in touch. A little too little too late but I appreciate it and see them semi regularly.
100 truth! That is why you have to let them go and be glad. you are no longer with them!
This is true. I’m an atheist, but in my decades of life experience, “karma” always catches up with narcissists. They fuck over the people who care about them, they alienate their friends (because everyone is disposable), and if they have kids, the kids probably hate them. If I were a nicer person, I’d pity them - but I’m not a nicer person anymore.
No, you're STILL a nice person, but they've taught you that THEY don't Deserve Niceties
@Janice Mailhot Well said, the way they deal with niceness is usually a great tell tale sign imo
This guy said "To a narcissist, compassion is supply. When you show compassion to a narcissist, you only make them sicker." I've been romantically involved with SEVERAL of them and they always end up making moves that take them down from 50 to 0 at some point.
@@janicemailhot5014 💯
Same here.. I know a borderline NPD who now still live with my mother.. And his sons don't care to have nothing to do with him, and I'm sure if he passes they would not show up, and is the very same way I feel about him and he knows it but will never admit to why we hate his ass. He never support none of us
They succeed when those around them support their lies. Say no, and see them falter, see their truth.
if they have money then there’s no shortage of codependent monkeys to serve them and receive their abuse
They overplay their hand everytime ......so true.
Life has a way of humbling all of us, and if life doesn't humble us then death certainly will.
TRUTH!
Average life span of a sociopath is about 45 years.
How do u know that?
@@MrJeffrey938 That would surprise me. All the peopel I would consider sociopathic are older. How do you know?
And death is their biggest fear!
Misery is an understatement. They’re literally tormented to their core. They can fake a smile, fake a laugh, fake happiness but when you know, u know. They’re suffering inside. It’s sad the lives they live
Truth
Yes true.
Also so sad the lives they destroy
Evil should suffer
I beg to differ! I've never seen them miserable unless they were out of supply. Their happiest when they can poke and prod and hurt others
@@sweetrose813 True. They definitely can put on a happy face but ever seen them alone? Ex: alone at home or in their cars? These humans be winning fights in their, throwing punches in the air and having road rage like nobody’s business. Get around ppl and it’s bk to happy face. All an act
I never knew evil existed. After a lot of healing, I can now see clearly the lies. It's Weird how I didn't believe he would lie to me. Even though it was obvious. I'm alive again! I woke up! I don't miss him one bit! Wow! Thank you, Jesus.
God bless you 😢
I'm was a victim, but ALMIGHTY GOD delivered me. TO GOD BE THE GLORY AMEN
Amen
How so? Please DO elaborate!!!
hallelujah
I've tried to take my mind off the narc entirely. If things go well the rest of his life, if things come crashing down - I'll never know. I don't want to know anything about him anymore.
I am glad I don't know either , but when people tell me he will go down that does not feel good in any way. Sure when someone betrays you it feels foolish to want them to not have consequences but I don't want to know he still is miserable 😖
@@feliciajohnston4877 I very much relate to that. I think our heart just hurts for them. Whether they deserve it or not.. it's better for us not to know, than to get sucked back in and start feeling sympathy for them.
@@chelssss , for me it's his salvation if he is living his life for the Lord and repents I don't care if he's doing better than me or happier than me not trying to be bitter anymore , but the things he did if he isn't truly doing the self reflection i don't care about the appearance I feel like I need to know but that's selfish I guess. I'm still hurting and it's been a year.
Exactly, I don't care anymore even if they live happily ever after I'm so indifferent
@@feliciajohnston4877I found a helpful a book on attachments by Tim Clinton!!! So Good for my recovery from my narcissist husband!! I’m the only one who can change my and become a healthier and holy woman of God. God bless you and your journey 🙏🏼🙏🏼💯✝️😇
They selfdestruct. And blame you, their target for all their misery.
U became the abuser. Stationed on the otherside of the planet in the middle east.
So true
But in turn you get to enjoy a big bag of 🍿 if you happen to catch a glimpse of that👍🏻.
Actually it's proven that almost 97% of them get away with all their abuse
@@amyl7072where did you get this stat from ?
No matter how high they climb the career ladder, no matter how much money they make (things on the outside of one’s inner self), they’re miserable - not successful in life.
To most people, money is the only indicator of success. Most "successful" people in the business world are narcs.
I really like to see more posts like this. It helps the victims of narcissism feel a little bit better .
Made my day ❤
So We know we are not the only victims.
Love these videos!!!
They never find peace being alone. They are NEVER on their own they are codependent cowards.
"they" is you, your one of them, as sam V puts it anoyone who enjoys insultings narcs or self called empaths are narcs themselves
@@corysmith3447 are you triggered and seeking attention? Does it help you find/feel peace with yourself attacking multiple people in comment sections? Best of luck to you.
that is gaslighting, i am simply pointing out that sam v who coined the term narccistic abuse says people who call themselves empaths are really Covert narccists, and you can see that by seeing the way they talk on empath forums, sadistic delight in tearing who they deam a narccdist down weather its their x who may or may not be one or others..@@jessa555
That is so true. They'll use their children also.
@@MatiaSmith-en7vb they sure do.
Pretending not to suffer is what I see. Pretending they’re fine with the outcomes they’ve produced.
Agreed. It's odd.
Pride
This!
Exactly this, no emotion towards those outcomes. As if torpedoing their family, hurting innocent people, jeopardizing careers and emotional well being is all acceptable and was justified.
@@JlovU2 I think it's because in their own mind, it is justified. And that whatever negative consequences they face as a result are someone else's fault. They're dishonest with themselves and everyone else to avoid feeling like they've done anything wrong. Taking accountability would break the illusion and that's the absolute last thing they want.
How true!
Left a narc ‘friend’ after about 10 years.
Perfect example of her: going on and on about this friend and that friend, calling them ‘crazy b*tch’. At one point, I turned to her and asked, “So…how many times do you call me a crazy b*tch when I’m not around’?
We eye-locked and there was dead silence. I looked her in the eye after a few beats and said, ‘thought so’.
Left her facility shortly afterward. And I lived Happily Ever After.
Absolutely!
That's the consequences of their evil deeds by hurting, playing and manipulating the life of some innocent people.
Biggest fears of narcissistic person:
1st : death
2nd : abandoning them
3rd : exposing them
I've came to conclusion by observing my narc abuser.
"My narc abuser..." Like they're a pet rock. A poisonous worm in a jar. Just sit back and watch, until they go down in flames. I can't wait until my narc abuser goes down. I'll be there, in the second row, eating popcorn and drinking soda.
Interestingly each narc thinks they are so unique. But here you go listing the 3 points they all fear!!! They fall in a very predictable category, something they will vehemently deny!
Exactly 💯
Yes 💯 all 3 I have witnessed to be true! Sad 😔
Covert narc told me he fears getting ill. And here I am battling stage 4 cancer like a champ for 7 years.
Living well, decently, humbly, and joyfully is the best revenge.
Been trying my best to do exactly that for the past 8 years..
🎯
Well said
I needed to read this comment
They don't care much. I gf left her narci ex but the ex has continued sending her sweet relaxed messages like nothing happened. He still asks her to meet up and go on with "beautiful" romance although my gf has said several times that she has very good life now without him.
This is the truth I've experienced too. Eventually the bubble pops because they don't realise where the limit is in pushing people until they push them out of their lives. Then they get depression & blame everyone for it.
I have no interest in vengeance on the narcissist who hurt me from the past. I actually wish they would just stop bullying themselves.
I will always feel like a simp for not seeking revenge. But she's a suicide risk and I don't want that on my conscience. Yep she's deeply unhappy & fearful of death
@@carlorizzo827 People see you focusing on your happiness goals and dreams they pull on your hair to distract you from it. In my opinion giving anger hate vengeance to someone you don't want to be part of your life in the next 5 years is Simping. Putting that energy towards loving and caring for yourself and the people you want to spend time with in the next 5 years.
My priority is the people I love and cherish not people Id be okay with never seeing again.
@@Intellectual-Warrior9 Great reversal! Thank you
Every narcissist I know has a strong fear of death, maybe this is why
I know a malignant narcissist who kill somebody, but always hiding. Basically they will do others they fear the most
@@len1045678 I know a narcissist who is planning terrible crimes. No matter how many times I try to change his mind he is firm that he is his own God and that he will get double life in prison then he will hang himself. He already has an attempted murder charge and says he actually tried to kill the person, and that he "knew what he was doing" Smh I cannot understand his mind! 😪
Always said he’d live till he’s a 120! 😂😂😂
My ex is so scared of death...because he knows he's gonna have to pay the pied piper the ultimate price.
@@loverx3488 all Malignant Narcissist should be either incarcerated for the rest of their existence or 6 foot under the ground im sorry.. as for him I wouldn't be trying to change his mind I would leave him do whatever crime he wish and let his ass go to jail or someone take his own life cause most of the time they will hurt or kill somebody without a valid reason
They pretend to be happy and joyful but underneath they are not happy because they can't feel emotions like we do.
Thats what I keep emphasizing to people. This dude is not sad because of the break up because he was never into me like that! He is sad because I am not into him and his comfort of coming to the house he w=used to sleep at to insult me it no long available. the people who have empathy think he feel sadness for the loss: they have even forgotten that he beat me to file for the divorce because he always wants to win.
So true!! 😊
So they are hollow ..w no soul.... Yuck ... demons
@@MaryJoMateyso you have a soul and haven’t done anything wrong in your life ?
Who’s we
This brings me peace. He struts along, while I limp, puffs himself up as I wither, acts like he did no wrong, as I struggle daily to pull out of the fog. Knowing this gives me that peace of God beyond all understanding.
🙏
Facts! I've Seen this Personally. It was said, "God, has a different type of way of dealing with Narcissists." They are dealt the hand they Lead with!
Especially in old age they go down. because when we age, our bodies get weaker, our looks fade, we return to a childlike state where we are dependent - dependent on other people’s goodwill and kindness and care. And since narcissists treat people like shit, people leave them over time, and they grow old alone. What goes around comes around.
Also as we age our inner beauty shines through more. As narcissists don’t possess inner beauty their ugly inside shows more on the outside. I always think of the portrait of Dorian Grey when I think about this effect.
@@bm5_5_5 totally agree 👍
Totally disagree - don't become what it is you disrespect (vindictive). Just DO NOT attach emotionally to them. We must learn to love them without a loving attachment which is very difficult, but most times necessary to avoid abandoning a human. You cannot treat a human worse than an animal abandonement or act as if they are inanimate object by abandoning forever without second thoughts. How does that make us any better than one who abandons an animal or child? No, we must learn to accept it is what it is - a "different kind" and the exact opposite of us. I believe possibly this is exactly the situation when & why Jesus said turn the other cheek(?). Only God can help these people come out of their fog if he sees fit to save them. Pray hard for them if you have any humility/humanity left! I wonder what the church is advising on this subject? Are there any clergy out there willing to comment in u2ubeville?
@@redhead8777Okay, well, Christianity also declared 3 or 4 crusades against an entire religion and legimized the conquering of most of the world at some point., so I don't see what you mean when we say we "should" do anything. I'm assuming you mean we should do that in order to undo evil in the world and make it a better place, but someone who disagrees with you is just going to say that you're gonna make everything worse, that you could save countless lives by crushing them and making sure they can never hurt anyone ever again, that you could save a little girl just like the one you lost to a narcissist who lashed out? It doesn't mean we should enjoy it, but in case you haven't noticed, we don't let alligators walk around anywhere they please, we control them or eliminate them.
No wonder narcs say they hate old age and old people.
Imagine the total damage they do to our society. It's immense.
I read awhile back that top corporations purposely seek out to hire narcissists as top executives because their ruthlessness grows the business quicker.
But they do more to themselves they just pretend they not in pain
So you've never done anything wrong in your life. Got it.
I smell narcs here 😊@@Yukomiya
@user-ji1yr1qs1n 😂
The narcs that succeed were simply never outed as narcs.
This is so true. They may run on for a long time but sooner or later their lies will strike them down.
Narcissists always end up losing, always
Ameen
Yep Siobhan mcfadden & not going back to them , hurts them more
They lost the ability to give love and receive love - they are corpse alive.
I never see it though... they live long lives controlling the wealth of the world and dodging the corrupt law.
Trump didn't
"They're kind of losers." 🤣🤣🤣💀
My family is loaded with them. I've learned to detach, disconnect, and dismiss. Life is beautiful!
I’ve been awaiting my narcissistic sibling to hit that wall for 50 years. Her enablers protect her with such soft cushions that she never seems to so much as her a bruise.
I don’t WANT to see her broken, rather a fall that might fix her. I sure hope you’re right and eventually she’ll be allowed to fall.
She pretends she high and mighty up on her self-appointed pedestal but, she wouldn’t be so miserable to all who see who she really is if she were actually confident in herself.
I really feel deeply sorry for ppl who suffer from narcissistic personality. She’s usually surrounded by her enablers and yet she’s always alone. If anyone attempts to step onto her “stage of life” she immediately throws them off and creates a campaign to ensure no one ever wants to see or hear from that person again.
I do hope she finds health somehow, someday. I hope it’s before she meets God… the one she can’t throw off her stage.
Same for my narcissistic sister.
Narcissists don't have feelings for anyone but themselves!
This is just not true.
@Mark Avatar Oh yes, it is!!! Like it or not, a narcissist ALWAYS talks shit....
i'm a narcissist (don't tell me i've still got hope. i literally have been diagnosed with the disorder.) this isn't true.
They don't blame themselves, but shift the blame🎉🎉🎉
@@riflefellatioget help😅
This brought me so much peace. God will cut him down. My job is just to heal ❤️
Amen, good luck to you ❤
It says that in the book of Psalms..that they will wither away like grass.
They all age… they all die… they will never admit it, because they feel invenceble, but age might be their worst enemy…
Amen
the guy who coined the term narccistic abuse sam v, says god religions people are delusional.. like you
Exactly. Their pride comes before the fall.
I know many in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and even 80’s and still going strong, succeeding and thrive while I’m still picking up the pieces of their abuse and struggling 🤷🏻♀️
Keep trying. Breaking free is a struggle but you can do it! Your mind and heart must become infused with love for yourself ❤ Never give up.
I think by now, most of us have heard "when they show you who they are, believe them the first time."(Maya Angelou).
We knew who they were right away but had no control over the situation as they had our loved one in their grip. We were along for the ride and the abuse.
Narcissists eventually fuck around and get found out and called out. I do have some empathy, but they created their situation.
I have zero empathy for their garbage anymore
I could care less. No sympathy or empathy for me.
They will cry victim..others are crazy lying
Not all of them
Thank you for revealing & clarifying. Hooray for those who surrendered their naivety for greater wisdom & self care. May we individually & collectively become more individuated & interdependent with sound, healthy examples who, having come through similar trenches and climbed out, became stronger & wiser in not falling for charm & deceit
Went through this with an ex, love bombed me , got engaged, got scared of commitment, broke it off, got back together then I turned them down once and they couldn't handle it. Best way to heal is go no contact completely
The narc in my life always got away with it. My mother told me I promise you he will reap what he’s sewn. It took 8 years but Karma has caught up with him. My mother was right!
Sown
What happened; may I ask?
What happened?
Narcs can reach success and have it all; they just can't keep it. Every narc I know has self-destructed and lost it all.
Wow..... that's my ex, right there!
No abilities of self awareness, self discipline, so they self destruct themselves into the ground
That goes for everyone not just narcissists nothing in life goes up forever
Madonna anyone?
They may succeed with money or work, but never in personal relationships. In my experience, many narcissists gravitate towards jobs like first responder, so they can get instant respect before anyone even knows them. But they are deeply unhappy people.
AM I the one that noticed? Narcissists often date someone better looking than them but they got so insecure that they will destroy their partner's self esteem
My therapist always reminds me that they really cannot be happy. Like the rest of us view happy.
Yes, they don't know what peace actually is, or how to find it within.
@@tisaac8037 and you do ? Explain how you do ?
@@hix9306 Because I'm not a narcissist.
Narcissism is the very antithesis of peace. The narcissist is running from themselves instead of facing their junk.
This is indeed triggering for you.
Triggers are good. They show us where we can begin the work on ourselves. I'm glad you're watching Mr. Grannon's videos. That's a good place to start.
@@tisaac8037 I don’t watch the dudes he’s a narc himself claiming to be something else . What type of junk are they running from to be exact ? How do you know these people are not at peace ? Not triggering me I’m trying to ask because I’m tired seeing comments bashing people who have a disorder
@@hix9306 Learn about narcissism. Then come back here.
My ex ended up leaving me a very sad voicemail. I almost felt sorry for him as I deleted it. I have no regrets. Every day away from those people is a better day.
@user-us9py1jg3z no need to do all that. Just leave. Go find your happy place.
Howdy hi hi,
Something I've realized is that emotional empathy in mammals is the primary pathway for endorphin release into the cerbetral environment. NPDs suffer from trauma that blocks signals from mirror neurons and prevents them from reaching the HPA axis so they don't have this pathway open to them.
But and this is important, they will still benefit if they can make emotions match. But they can't go to where their victim resides emotionally. So they work to move their victim to where they are emotionally.
When this happens, the NPD feels elation AKA supply, AKA endorphins. But their empathic blockage prevents them from feeling bad for their victim. So the NPD just leaves the victim there. Which makes sense since it is much easier to make the victim feel bad, if they are already down to begin with.
Excellent. From me- a layman and no Brain Rocket Mechanic-- I figured their mirror neurons were just fogged over and they couldn't relate. The endorphin
radiator hose clog never dawned on me.
I'm going to guess, Evolution has it, feeling empathy for fellow cavemen means you get to go out, hunt with the boys and get to eat and survive. The Cave Narc has to use deception.
People need to have Patience....Eventually they'll definitely fall .
Even when you think they’re doing good, look into their soulless eyes there’s nothing there and eventually they self sabotage.
I saw the eyes of defeat in my then 80 year old sister,I was looking at a photo of her,she was with us,in the photo, Her eyes very,very far away,like looking back in the past. My friend saw it,then I looked.
Soulless eyes so true
It’s true, it gets them in the end. It gets them when they need someone to carry them because they don’t have the strength anymore. Age erodes the lies
And yet they stay evil & wicked.
Omg! That hit me when you said they eventually do what they said they’ll never do. So true. My ex husband went on a self destructive tirade and completely destroyed our marriage and hurt our little kids after he got his new supply. It’s like we didn’t exist. Worst time of my life , been 2 years and I’m getting thank God
My brother, a marriage and family therapist, is a vulnerable narcissist. He destroyed the relationship between me and my sister. I’ve been no contact with him since then. Six years later, he sent me a sad, sad letter telling me about his divorce, the death of his cat (which truly saddens me), and how our parents really messed him up. He said that he wished he was a better brother. And he asked that we get together to talk things through while he was in my town.
What’s so telling is that he never said that he “wanted to be” a better brother. That told me everything I needed to know.
I see them getting promoted and praised by those they are not abusing. I see them making more money and getting “the girl.” It’s painful to watch for me.
It's hollow and won't last. Focus on your happiness ❤
@ruth true.
It doesn't matter. The end is going to come as he says.
Don't worry. You will be amazed to see your justice. They are their own nemesis. Sooner or later, they get exposed, and they will hide from good people forever 🎉
pity the girl
I saw her walking at 3 am in someone elses neighborhood, looking like she'd been beat up (ironically, she tried to have me beat) . Something made me get up , drive over there and see this for myself. She puts her head down when I go past. Narcs put on a good show, people catch on eventually. Find out she's been "narcy" to tons of people, not just you.
It feels like they win every situation. This is why we have this perspective. We know they will lose in the end, but this lasts 20 30 years until we invite the next one in.
I was blindsided and betrayed in one of the worst ways by someone I've not only known for 5 years, but I also helped when they were down. I ignored the signs. The bitterness, the insecurities ... how they went from being a perpetual victim when they were down to a machiavellian, egotistical jerk when I helped pick them up.
He not only betrayed me and stabbed me in the back, I found out he took credit for some of my work, he "stole" my story and in the end, he set me up and set me up to be destroyed.... and I was too trusting to see it.
I couldn't understand why until I thought of the last few weeks. We were watching the game together, we were having a good time and having a few drinks ... He gets drunk and says "You're an idiot. I'm better than you, smarter too. I never needed you" and so on ...he said things like this sometimes if we were playing games ...but lately he had become more argumentative... attempting to turn any and every discussion into a debate and his insults becoming more common ...comparing everything from bank accounts to clothes ....it was bizarre.
And then the final day when it happened. He played it so cool. The night before, I picked him up from work, we shared a few laughs ...and then the next morning ...I was hit with everything and all was revealed ...from second-hand sources.
I realized he used me, became resentful of me and then finally ...he not only discarded me because he no longer had use for me but attempted to destroy me to boost his own insecurity-fueled arrogance.
He was never my friend, was he?
But I know he'll ultimately fail again. He'll end up in the same position I found in him ...when I let him into my home, sleep on my couch and treated him like family.
People like him always do.
It was less than a week and I already began rebuilding. I have friends and I'm credible.
He will drink himself stupid, he'll continue to hurt himself with each betrayal and in his laziness will self-sabotage until he loses it all again. Afterall - people like him never get anything on their own.
They rise by using others, briefly impressing people with their acts or garnering pity ...and then they get comfortable, the mask falls off and they're exposed as they ruin everything for themselves and hurt the people around them.
Don't hold onto the bitterness. Don't let them corrupt who you are or fill you with resentment.
They are empty people. The only thing you should give them (if anything) is pity. If you've been used and/or hurt by someone like this, simply learn from it and move on.
That's what I did.
Don't let them live rent-free in your mind.
Let them go and free that space up for productivity.
NEVER hold on to the bitterness! It only hurts you in the end. Don't give them that power. They already think they have ALL powerful over you as it is. Hold on to your sanity & get out quick as you can. 👍💞🤗😘🙏🙏🙏
"how they went from being a perpetual victim when they were down to a machiavellian, egotistical jerk" - This happened to me with an online friend. Most mind Fucking thing I've ever seen. I didn't understand any of it until long after the fact. I knew all about Narcissists but still didn't see it! Be careful who you pity. Stop to consider if people want actual help or just constant validation. Do they want a solution to their problem. Or do they just want attention for even having a problem.
@@JohnDoe-gq3tm exactly! Thank you! 😊👌
@@JohnDoe-gq3tm Yes, reminds me of an unforgettable quote I read recently.
Be very cautious about who you let in and Enable.
Some are treacherous and Takers in Disguise, who come to Destroy!
Hun, I'm very sorry you went through that. Please read my reply, the world has a funny way of repaying them in an overwhelming way
Very true. Nasty and miserable people who always shoot themselves in the feet or get exposed because they can't remember their own lies and deceit. The curtain eventually gets pulled back. I've never met a happy one either. Nothing is ever enough.
Yessss! My narc dad finally and completely self destructed at 83 yrs old. Soooooo many lies exposed. Extensive financial crimes, pretends to care for our mother with alzheimers but does not, grandiose stupid ideas, etc. No contact with 3 of his 4 children AND grand kids due to his rude behavior, has to live in his "flying monkey" daughter's house bc of terrible monitery decisions and no contact with other family. He could care less. Too bad. Don't care anymore. We're very happy not to have to deal with his bs! Good riddance. Learned it from him, the master of the silent treatment😊
i'm just DAMN tired of being punished for crap thats not even my fault because of the narcissist.
your cold, like a covert narcist who enjoys tearing epople down, most are self called empaths as sam V the leaser in narccism points out@@judithparris1818
@@fdog4533SO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF 😂
@@fdog4533 That's why they're so toxic. Always punishing someone else for their character defects instead of putting some work in. It's enraging after a while.
Even if they seem to have it all, they can’t ever enjoy it because the demon in their head cries: More, more, more! They are never content. They can feel exalted for a short period of time, but then self-doubt and hatred kicks in. They can’t be happy. I have seen this watching my husband for years- neither I nor several therapists could help him. He destroyed all: our family, our wealth, but not my happiness since I left him!
I have known two Narcs personally and one tried to ruin my life. Both failed with me, and both are doing poorly. One got fat, has NO Friends and is a miserable B---h. The other lost their job, has a damaged career and also, has NO friends. Both are in their late 50's so dont really have the time to undo their damage. This guy is correct!
The more aware we become the less tolerant we become for people who suck our energy.
Exactly and its Amazing to wakeup and to understand ❤
Exactly
Yes, and on a smaller scale, their overconfidence and lack of listening to others often means they make mistakes. I learned not to trust their advice, even on simple things like car repairs because overconfidence is dangerous ⚠️.
They cannot be trusted on anything! I mean anything. They make things up about others to boost their egos!
Overconfident & being habitual liars are dangerous
Cannot trust anything coming out of a narc. It's all about lies covering up more lies/manipulations/abuse. It is demonic where I come from (Bible). Loving and praying from a distance (unfortunately) because I must protect myself from the satanic abuse. It definitely goes against everything inside me & my heart to feel a need to do this. It is heartbreaking. Being kind and polite without emotional attachment - it's really rough. In these last days, God is exposing evil to our very eyes to see and ears to hear!
50 years feels like forever 😢. Fall already. I’m exhausted
Jordan Peterson explains it as trying to bend the fabric of reality. You can’t do that forever. He also says he’s never once seen one get away.
Love when they try to spin things to make everyone else the narcissist. Perpetual victims.
Had that played on me still blamed for everything and all the other hell goes with it
absolutely just Dropped a so called friend of 48 yrs. and now I feel free and happy.
No joke! Everyone does have & display narc tendencies from time to time, but the second I hear someone start labeling ppl around them as "mentally ill" over 1 thing, it's a pretty big red flag in my book.
@@justacoginthefkery I understand where you are coming from. I also found that the easiest way to know if someone is showing any forms of toxicity is pretty simple. They usually care a lot about being right or wrong. You don't. You just want to share experiences. They don't, they will sit and wait and change the conversation into who's right and who's wrong with anyone and usually once you enter that dynamic they will accuse you of being difficult and give you an option to stop the convo or they will leave "no they won't"(they will only leave once you are silent and do what you want to do) and they accuse you of always wanting to be right or have it your own way. It's never pleasant to be around these people.
Ikr?? LOL! I had not EVER seen anything like it before! They were so full of BS I couldn't connect the dots at 1st because none of 8t made any sense in my head, plus a lot of it were things he seemed to just pull out of his a** & were never true to begin with. Very confusing 4 me at 1st. Then I kinda became amused by it all. I would wait till he went into a rant or rage over something, yet waited in anticipation to see what he was going to come up with this time! LOL!
As they don’t care about other people and have no empathy, they do seem to carry on as if nothing has happened when they leave a wave of disrupted lives and devastated family members and friends behind them.
Exactly what just happened to me...
Yeap
Seems like they always benefit from the ones they crushed collecting the positive the stole and use it for new prey. It's gross.
It's the grief that comes with the injustice which I'm feeling right now...
Karma doesn't always come for them. My mother in law nearly killed her husband and now they're living together in the same nursing home with a shared unit. Her oldest daughter died young from cancer and she never she'd a tear, but uses this for attention and pity . . . and to continue to badmouth the poor woman now that she's no longer on earth to defend herself. Being cared for and having her husband nearby has been a lifelong dream of hers - she's happier than she's ever been. It doesn't look like it'll change anytime soon - and even if it does, she got her way her entire life.
People who are thriving, feel good and actually love themselves don't need to bring others down. Narcissists act like angry wounded children because inside they are angry wounded children. You don't need to let someone have access to you or maintain a relationship with them to be capable of feeling pity for the sad and isolated life they've created for themselves out of fear. Be grateful you don't have to be them.
Key word you said their “access” the narc just wants access to us because they know we’re empathetic
True that
True.. They are nasty, miserable and cruel people and eventually everyone walks away or dies and they hate being alone.
and that's exactly what they deserve
@@alinedupuis6717AMEN.
I truly hope so. I truly hope for some vindication after so much suffering and damage. I hope to god that they he pays ten fold. He had no right in destroying us like he did.
This is so true they all go downwards I have seen most of them suffering but they still don’t care
Their game doesn’t age well. And their prey becomes more savvy with age.
They fall on their own sword eventually
True, everyone does.
Yeah
Correct !!! They will ALWAYS overplay their hand and go down in flames
Eventually, they die. We all die. My grandmother was finally exposed as she was living in assisted care for a few months late in her 90s. She left us with bad memories in her final months.
I have seen this to be true 100 percent. They seem to make the same mistakes over & over again throughout their life without self control or wanting to change. Because they don’t see what they do is ever an issue. There’s so many consequences on this earth for treating ppl poorly. You can’t just get away with that.
Amen! I've often wondered if it is a learning disability? But the twisted manipulations and lack of empathy remind me that the problem goes much deeper. I think they are ultimately very weak people who allow themselves to be controlled by the wrong spirits
Madonna does.
@@marguskiis7711Not really. She’s shunned and ridiculed now because she’s delusional. She’s acting like she’s 25 when she’s 65. Her narcissism makes her think she’s entitled to evade aging. The result is that song with Sam Smith which is an embarrassment for both of them.
💯
@@jent6476 This is SPOT on!!
I 100% agree. Narcs will lose their youth and charisma which plays a big role in luring in their victims. Eventually people will have enough of their BS and everyone will move on. Narcs peak very early in life. Usually in their 20s. Eventually they end up alone probably addicted to some type of drug.
Very true, the one I dated was 20 years older than me and used me for an ego boost. He comes off as Herbert the Pervert because his old tricks don’t work so well.
So true, So true their addictions we put up with really floored her.
When my leaving exposed her behaviors to all because she had to take her anger out on them
Funny thing is the family always knows and dreads when they lose supply.
Their addictions change over time. They wear out their liver from boozing and partying. Then as they age they start being addicted to overeating and they get so big, impacting their health and looks as they are older. And misery increases. They don't improve.
So true about their youth and charisma. They use it as a tool to hide their ugliness inside. When they age they just look so ugly.
@@joywebster2678 They age like milk.
I have NEVER seen a narcissist fail or get theirs. Never.
What's hard is when it's your parents and they're given legal charge over a sibling of yours. I don't know what to do.
I was married to her for thirteen years, it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. For years I tried to help her finally I realized I had to get out of the way and save myself. She finally had breached my trust and I filed for divorce. That was four years ago, I still suffer with flashbacks and rumination. She recently died so I guess they'll never be another Hoover. The whole experience has forced me to learn a lot about myself. I cannot imagine that this will ever happen to me again.
I left too, best decision, no regrets.🌈💗🐦
At least you're hoover free 👍🏻
How did she die?
@@lauradelregno99 I had heard through the grapevine that she had cancer back in October. At the time I couldn't be sure if it was true. I couldn't trust the information because she often used health scares to keep me on edge and worried about her. Kind of like the boy that cried wolf. Word come through the day after Christmas that she had died. The information got me way more upset than I thought it would.
@@brianreed8271 Yeah, it was bound to upset you mate. After all, as unable as narcissists are to bond with us, we still wanted to love and bond with them.
In my limited experience, I've only seen narcissists get away with things.
Me too but when you think about how horribly miserable they really are. They gives me some comfort.
I felt the same way watching my narc father for years but now at 83 years old, he has received his comeuppance! Complete self destruction at his own hands too. No real money, no family that cares (except his flying monkey daughter), "friends" all deceased, wife has alzheimers. Nobody cares what he says and does anymore🤷🏾♀️ So just be patient...
God notices it. They will fall with same experience from another narc.
Just understand this. You can’t treat people poorly and be a happy person. They already have their karma by being who they are. You don’t have to wait for it. The misery is already inside them. You just can’t see it
@@judithparris1818 old age and death catch us all.
Hurt people Hurt people
They usually have a lot enablers around so they support their narc behaviors.
I dated a narcissist and yes he was his own worst enemy.
Same
To everyone who has dealt with a narcissist in their life do not let them rub off on you and you become bitter and evil yourself is just as bad as them. You have to heal forgive and move on.
This is so true. Took me years, a lot of therapy and getting sober to cut the cord. They can imprint. Important message, thanks for sharing.
Thanks: the flying monkeys are really something
I think personality disorders can be kinda contagious. Well said Fred.
amen!
Amen
So comforting. I will carry on praying for them from far far away and enjoy being far far away ❤
I absolutely agree! You can’t have evil intent and have blessing from God. ❤
This is very, very true.
My x was everything these videos are saying.
He was so book smart, had a great paying job and was going up, up up.
But there were 2 sides to him.
The other was he was a loser.
Wouldnt do anything in our marriage.
Wouldnt help with the bills, fix anything,
Clean up after himself, do any chores like mow the grass or even shovel. I had to do all of this...pay all the bills with MY money, fix or pay someone to anything that broke, clean the entire apartment by myself, mow and shovel.
Anything extra like a car repair even if it was his car I had to pay I also paid his car insurance.
While i am being run ragged hes out with his money and any money he beat out of me( yes he was a wife beater and proud of it) going to bars with his friends and doing cocaine.
If we were together and ran into a friend of his he'd mock me and cut me down in any way he could in front of them.
I was told later by some of his friends that he said I deserved every punch I got from him because I was a loser.
Yes, me I'm the loser.
I clean cut career woman.
No drugs, no bars, dont smoke cigarettes or anything else.
Cooked home cooked meals, kept an exceptionally clean house.
But as he kept telling me(screaming on top of his lungs into my ears) 'you're a loser'. I lost 40% of my hearing in my left ear and as I am getting older it's getting to be more.
I couldnt let this 'person' because I couldnt call him a MAN touch me sexually. If any woman out there is living with THIS kind of narcissist you cant let someone like that NEAR you let alone be with them in a romantic sense.
Well he raped me 2x in one night.
Then after the 2nd time kicked me so hard between my legs I bled for an hour if not more.
Couldnt urinate it put me up on the ceiling from the pain.
Well I got pregnant.
I was so very afraid to tell him.
But eventually i told him when I was going into 4 months.
He stood there and tore me to pieces verbally.
Then when I walked by him to go to the kitchen he sucker punched me so hard in the stomach I went down like a ton of bricks. While he did this he yelled at me saying i told you ( blank blank) I dont want no efin kids.
I passed out for I dont know exactly about almost 2hours.
When I woke I was still where he hit me and in a pool of blood and a watery fluid.
I got myself to the bathroom and I saw I had miscarried and cleaned everything up including the rug. Saw my doctor 4days later and he said I would never be able to have a child.
He came home from the bar and never said a word.
The next morning while we were getting dressed for work he threatened me ( as he always did) throwing me up against the wall with a knife held onto my juggler vein that if I was thinking of leaving him he will hunt me down like a dog and kill me.
And the look in his eyes said he wasn't lieing.
So I figured...why should 'I' leave.
Went to city hall, got a restraining order, he was served...the whole time him yelling at me hes going to kill me in front of the cops serving the order and escorting him from the apartment.
Yes, he came driving by later yelling and 1 time broke my window, threw my trash all over.
But he was OUT.
He would drive by for a while almost 2 years and call names etc.
But he was out of my life somewhat. He was still in my head though.
However, I always asked God why, he was going up, up and up with his career and I was doing ok but not fantastic.
Well he had a massive HEART ATTACK at the age of 40 and DIED
9 years after I had him removed from the apartment.
As a matter of fact almost right to the day.
So, yes, I am agreeing with this man 100% about the narcissist...they have their 'time' and then they go DOWN.
They fool you when they are trying to reel you in that they are the ONE.
The man you are looking for.
Our honeymoon was the first time he beat me...he couldnt WAIT to CONTROL me.
if you are with someone like this PLAN your way out...dont tell your friends or any family members that he may talk to...
Be careful...
I'm so sorry you went through all this. And I admire your strength. You are amazing. You deserve Love and Light. I wish you peace. God bless you.
Very powerful story. Thank you for sharing! Continual blessings!❤
Jackie leen, wauw what a story.
I admire your strengt
I wish you love and joy!❤️
SAME STORY LAZY IN THE HOME...NEVER AT HOME WORKED AWAY A SMOKER DRINKER GAMBLER PORN ADDICT ALWAYS SHOUTING & SCREAMING IF HE HAD TO DO AN ODD JOB IN THE HOME I DID EVERYTHING IN MY HOME WELL HE GOT CAUGHT CHEATING BACK 2016 REST IS HISTORY DRAMA POLICE CALL OUTS LIES TO POLICE WAS WANTING ALL ASSETS TO RUN OFF WITH A LOW MORAL FIBRE WOMAN 10 YEARS HIS JUNIOR & TWICE MARRIED LIES DENIAL HAD ALL THE EVIDENCE HE ASSAULTED ME & SPAT ON ME LIED TO POLICE SAID I ASSAULTED HIM ...LIST ENDLESS WELL HE COMES INTO INHERITANCE MONEY LEAVES RENOVATES HIS LATE DADS COTTAGE NEXT DOOR TO HIS BROTHER HE HAS NOW REINVENTED HIMSELF IN A SMALL VILLAGE 8 MILES FROM ME LAST SEPTEMBER HE EVICTED ME ONTO THE STREET FROM THE FAMILY HOME OF 26 YEARS MEANTIME HIS COTTAGE IS ALL DONE UP GOT MOST OF THE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT MONEY IVE WORKED ALL MY LIFE IN A REWARDING IF LOW PAID JOB HE TOLD EVERYONE I ASSAULTED HIM LIES...OH & I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC MY GP LAUGHED IVE WORKED 12 HOURS SHIFTS ALL MY LIFE IN A HOSPITAL HES 6FT TALL WORKS ON A BUILDING SITE IM 5FT 7 INCHES SO HARD TO ASSAULT HIM ALSO ALCOHOL IS PROHIBITED FROM MY WORKPLACE MORE LIES TO SUIT HIS AGENDA HE WAS SMILING OUT THE LOCAL PAPER LAST WEEK AT A FOOTBALL GAME MY WORDS YOU WILL GET WHITS COMING TO UNU BAD BAD BAD MAN ...
I love a happy ending. Be careful those kind are all over the place. Get a pet.