Jealousy vs. Compersion in Poly and Monogamous Relationships
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- The question we probably get most often is "Don't you ever get jealous?" Jealousy is one of our favorite topics to explore and share with the world because it has helped us grow and learn so much about ourselves as individuals.
In this video we talk about our experiences with both jealousy and compersion within our relationship dynamic and how it has evolved over time. We dive deeper and share how investigating further into our feelings of perceived jealousy have actually lead us into a profound journey of self love.
On this channel we come together to share about our relationship with one another and the relationships we share with others. We love relating with all kinds of people, having non-traditional connections and sharing our experiences with the world.
We feel excited and inspired by the way we connect with the world and live our lives. We hope to inspire you to create your own unique, authentic connections and ultimately, to live the life of your dreams.
If you are interested in polyamory, open relationships, non-monogamy, and non-traditional relationships...or if you are interested in monogamy, deepening your connection with your partner and in general pursuing more authentic connections both with yourself and others, we think you will find value here.
If you are interested in coaching with either one or both of us, you can contact us through our websites:
Brittany's Website: www.simplelivin...
Conor's Website: conormcmillen.com/
Conor McMillen's RUclips Channel: / @conormcmillen
Brittany Taylor's RUclips Channel: / sophiefire13
Jealousy is a signal that you need to love yourself more... This hit me so hard.
Watching your videos always leaves me with an enhanced feeling of love for my partner. I am happily monogamous...but still get so much out of you two talking about love and openness. The "making sure to get your needs met" really resonates with me and has opened up a lot of communication and new avenues of understanding for my partner and I. Keep doing you. You two are so awesome.
+KirstyLynne "Watching your videos always leaves me with an enhanced feeling of love for my partner." This is the best thing I could read in comments. Thank you so much for expressing and sharing here. So beautiful.
This is the best video about this topic I've seen so far. Never thought of jealousy as an opportunity to look deeper inside. Well done guys.
So happy you found it helpful! Thanks for the positive feedback!
Great video, definitely the hardest part, especially when your partner is the only one with other experiences, hope to get to the point of compersion one day, currently stuck at jealousy and just accepting that it sucks.
Have you tried accepting that it is a message, coming from a place of love and a desire to protect you against pain and trauma? Change your narrative and you change your life. Sending you so much love!
Yes!!!! Conor. When you said “we have the power of narrative, the power of language”. That really hit me. 👍
Yes!! Awesome. Thank you
Ever since watching this video, I've been seeking opportunities to move through jealously and replace it with compersion in all of my relationships. Recognizing jealousy as a signal that I need more self love and consciously cultivating compersion has been transformative for me and my ability to connect meaningfully with others. It has helped me clear away the clutter and focus on what matters most- genuinely loving and enjoying the people around me! Thank you both SO MUCH for sharing what you've learned and helping others to grow
+Jessica .Blackband Wow. This is SO fricken awesome to hear. Rock ON. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this here. I'm so honored to be a part of your journey in this way. I love what you are doing! Thank you so so much for your appreciation! Sending heaps of love your way :)
I don't have the words to thank you for sharing this journey of yours. Your videos are the most honest and true thing I've heard in a long time. I'm currently dealing with a complicated situation with a friend/couple/whatever that is, and I've been struggling so much in trying to put it in a certain, well defined category. I've noticed that focusing your energy in doing so can be really frustrating, and the worst part of it is that you forget to live it, whatever that is, you're just not there. You don't enjoy and embrace what life is giving you because you're too worried trying to classify. And I think this happens mostly because we worry what people will think. People ask "So, are you dating? Are you a couple? Oh, so you're just hooking up? Oh, then he doesn't take you seriously, then he's not committing with you, he's just playing, respect yourself" and a bunch of other things. They put so much pressure on you. In the bottom of your heart you want to reply "I don't know what this is and I don't wanna put it a name either! I just want to enjoy it and get the most beautiful things out of it. Will it last? I don't know. But meanwhile, let's live!". But unfortunately we've been raised in a society that doesn't think this way, and sometimes it discourages you.
I've been giving this a lot of thought recently, and your videos have been a light for me. Now I have no doubts that this is the way we should all relate. Please continue spreading the message of true love and true connections. I'm sure you're healing the world in ways you can't imagine!
+Marifer Cano Wow, such a beautiful message. Thank you so much for opening up about your experience and sharing here. All that you are saying really resonates with me. I can really understand feeling like you want to just enjoy life and let it all unfold. I love that you are paying attention to how you feel and are being authentic to who you are. Keep on rocking life. We are here supporting you from afar! Sending lots of love!
The two of you publish videos which provide so much useful information, and gave me the tools to find my voice in a recent “poly-crisis” (affectionate term my partner and I use). I was able to identify what I was lacking, communicated to my partner, and reached out to a friend I wanted to share a connection with (my expectation being - I just wanted to tell her). What happened has been beautiful from the reciprocated feelings, full support of my partner and loving her more, and confidence of getting my voice out in the world. I look forward to each video and to growing a little every day. Much love and respect…
"I'm feeling a certain way can you help me figure this out." ...fucking beautiful.
Amazing work.
Thank you for teaching the world.
Regardless of your ever changing selves.
I am in a long term, happy monogamous relationship. However, watching you guys brings me joy and it truly makes me happy that you two have found your happiness, even though it is "unconventional". Good vibes to you!!
+Zoey Waters We are thrilled to read about your happy relationship! Thank you so much for the support. Good vibes to you!
I'm getting what your saying completely. No one has ever explained it to me in such plain terms before. It all boils down to honesty with each other and with yourself. That's where I think people who don't practice this lifestyle get lost. It makes me wonder if they really even know how to be honestly happy for someone else on a real level? If you honestly love someone, how could you not want happiness for them? Even if it hurts you, if you get real and honest with yourself you can go to a deeper place and find your own joy and be joyful for others. I'm happy that you both are able to go to that deeper place within and find your happiness. Huge love to both of you! Tammie
Thank you. This is so helpful even if I'm not in an open relationship - it's good just for life struggles. Can you do more videos on really the how tos of this ? It's almost like this is the theoretical concept but can you talk more on how you literally walk through this? Or more specific examples and how you cope? Great video!
+Amy Chen Yes! I'm so glad you found value in this. We would love to talk more about how we actually do this and perhaps share/walk through a real life example. Thanks so much for asking and for watching!
I've been talking about that compersion idea for years. No one ever took me seriously because I've never had a lot of luck in relationships and people always just tell me I'll feel differently once I really connect with someone, but to me, the way people feel about polyamory makes absolutely no sense. I've always believed that someone that loves someone can totally take pleasure in their partners pleasure, and so many otherwise great relationships are destroyed because people have been conditioned to believe that that isn't okay. It's so great to see that in practice in such a healthy way.
+LukeOfTroy Not that I ever want to judge anyone for living how they choose to live and loving how they choose to love, everyone's on their own journey and I totally support people that feel monogamy gives them something they couldn't get otherwise, but the anger, frustration, hurt feelings, shame, and everything that seems to go with the traditional expectations of what it means to be a couple seems to me like it just hurts so many people when it doesn't have to. That's how I've always felt anyway, for what it's worth.
+LukeOfTroy It's great to hear more from you about this. Thank you so much for sharing this reflection. I love that you have had this feeling about compersion for years.
i cant even begin to describe the deep places within me that your videos are reaching, and i love to see you guys interact with each other - all i want to is to hug both of you big time and thank you over and over again for sharing all of these so very personal things. youre encountering your audience with so much trust and positivity, and i really want to let you know of how much value that is to me. i am beyond inspired by your videos and in case i ever encounter you anywhere on this beautiful planet, i will give you the biggest hug. thank you both.
+braids&freckles Luka, this comment is incredible. I wish I could show you how much it means to us to receive this. Thank you, thank you. I can't wait for that giant hug, whenever it unfolds. Heaps of love to you!
This is why you need to love yourself before you enter ANY relationship. Work on yourself so you don't feel this need to attach yourself to anything that fits that void in your heart.
I know this is an old video and you guys probably won't see this but I had to post to thank you again for the content you guys put out. I dip in and out of watching you guys when I need it and having just entered into a poly relationship and having trouble with jealousy, you guys really hit some important points for me about looking into myself. Just want to say a big thank you, you guys have really helped guide me in time of need
I'm a pickup coach. People turn to me everyday for pickup and dating advice but Today I turn to you... I've been in a one way open relationship for a while basically meaning I have been sleeping with other girls she's been monogamous. We are about to transition into BASICALLY being polyamorous. I'm currently binging your videos. Thanks.
Awesome share and comment. Thank you so much. Please keep us posted on your journey. So much love to you
This is some powerful stuff! Wow, thank you guys for sharing this with the world, I've been quite overwhelmed lately by some feelings I've been experiencing lately and this is really helping me understand them better.
We are so happy you found our videos
Paring back surface emotions to reveal the truth beneath. I feel as though you two are kind of on a journey of total personal truth. It's so inspiring to watch.It gives me the strength to not let go of this for myself. I feel very privileged to be able to see how this works for you. Thank you so much for sharing.
+Alison L :)
+Renee Cafe-Pollack Wow, thank you so much for sharing this. It feels so beautiful to receive and to be seen in this way. It's our deep desire to continue on these journeys and to share them with all of you so we can all grow along side each other! Thank you again :)
Thank you for this great video and for opening up about the reals of being open! I feel a lot of gratitude and inspiration!!
You are so very welcome. Thanks for the positive comment
I thought it was interesting to consider conversion in the field of life in general and not just limiting it to relationships with polyamorous people. Definitely something to think about and play around with!
+Actualized Life Yes! I agree. Thanks for mentioning this, Rose! xo
thank you guys :) The most important sentence was for me right now that "I need you, Conor (>self
+Adrienn Fodorné Takács Thank you so much for this comment. I connect with a lot of different types of people in the therapy work that I do, and I have found that a commonality is a part of us that feels very small, worthless or invaluable. This, I would argue, is the most important part of our system to love. I know that it is true for me. It is beautiful that you made that connection! I really encourage you to keep it going. Much love to you and to that "small" part
01:50 "we're creating what is happening around us" 🙏❤️
Very well explained you guys.
I imagine if this simple enlightened understanding of our emotional needs could become basic common sense for a majority of our population, that could do a lot for easing tensions and non-productive conflicts. Less overcompensating would feel needed.
I rarely ever am bothered by jealousy anymore, even in monogamous relationships. And when I do feel something like that it’s not such a big deal to brood over; it’s a feeling that I want to do something more with my girlfriend. As you said, it’s a lack of something desired, which is more useful to express than just trying to get controlling, because restricting others from doing what you wish you had might bitter people feel less insecure in comparison to others, but it’s not increasing anyone’s enjoyment.
I cant stand when people say they are not jealous...
Or not the "jealous type"....I think EVERYONE feels it in SOME way....
+merci k I think you're probably right that many if not all people experience some form of what we call jealousy. What does it feel like for you when people say they don't experience it? Can you explain that more?
+Conor and Brittany is it possible that some people are born without feeling it? Does everyone need to do "the work" in order to move past it? Is it possible a lot of these people are just disconnected/in denial?
Hooray I'm not the only one who thinks this way! 😃thank you for posting.
You are so welcome! Thank YOU for posting
It feels soo wonderful watching these videos! Your respect and love for each other is so beautiful!!! 😍😍😍
+Madison Thomas Thank you so much for watching and for this beautiful comment!
Wow! I hope to be in an emotional place like this someday. Seems like it will take much practice and most of us don't like to make ourselves that vulnerable to others, and to ourselves. I know this is very true with me! I feel like you guys would lead an amazing seminar on these ideas. If you do choose to impart this knowledge in such a way, please come to Seattle!
+sondra harrington Thank you so much for sharing your reflections here. We have been enjoying presenting on this topic and having open Q&As at festivals. We would love to come to Seattle some day and share more and will definitely keep you all updated as more of this sort of stuff unfolds. Meanwhile, all the best to you along your own unique journey!
Your soo inspirational :) Im so very thankfull for your videos.
i always had problems with relationships, and would feel caged, not that i stayed long enough in one, i would turn psycho because of the labelling and all the expectation i had on a relationship, because of the conditioning by the media.
I took a long time and experiences, to work on myself and to see that relationships can be different, than society tells us.
Wanting deeply to conect with another person to share love and intimicy, without feeling restricted, beeing able to still discover life and conecting.
So this way of sharing intimacy, safety, joy, but also freedom highly resonates with me.
Love to you all :)
Yes! We can really understand this and we absolutely believe you can have both!
Thank you for sharing your information/knowledge with the world.I've understood so much more about myself from watching this post & I feel so thankful to now have the tools i need to constructively handle these emotions:)I love you guys! Thank you! ♡♡♡
I've just watched this video after searching the web for answers on Polyamory, as I've felt the past year that it makes more sense to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world.
+Stephen Moody This is so cool to hear! I'm so glad that you found our vid and I'm honored that you've watched it and reached out to us. All the best to you along your journey!
Ooh! Jealousy = contrast. That's beautiful. Thank you!
Thank you!
So good!! You are both so amazing!! Thank you for all your insight on these uncomfortable emotions. I've really been learning myself this past year, and learning how to deal with uncomfortable emotions in a healthy way. Your input really helps me to see other ways to be able to go deeper within myself and learn and self-love. Keep the videos coming!! Best, Kate
+Jacob B Kate, this feels so amazing to hear. Thank you so much for sharing. It's so exciting to hear about your journey deeper within yourself and growth in your own self love. Keep on rocking life!
Is there ever fear that the other will go on a date with someone else and suddenly want to choose them as the person they want to spend their days with?
+TeaSippa12 Such a great question. We want to expand on this in an upcoming Q&A. The short answer for us is "no", but there's a lot of good stuff to explore in there. Thanks for asking!
Conor and Brittany have y’all did a Q & A about this question, this is my “fear” and why I feel “jealous” so I’m curious what to do . I’m mono dating a poly and I really want a main partner , she’s happy and I love her and her partner I’m glad she’s happy with her , but as my feelings grow I’m scared I won’t be her main partner so my jealousy is becoming a problem ... I don’t act on it but I recognize the feeling and I hate it
This topic spoke to me, and I love where this new channel is going!
+Darianne Maclin Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed!
I just found your videos, and I haven't seen this come up yet, maybe you could direct me to a video that addresses this issue: How do you deal with the emotions/feelings of jealousy/possessiveness of an outside partner? I have seen a lot about how you process with each other, but not about how you resolve issues with the outside humans.
There is great love here for both of u -- thank u, Conor and Brittany!
You are very welcome!
Very perceptive. I love the BIG YES you guys are always puttin out there!
+The Monkey and The Wolf We like big yes' ;) -C
I really love all your videos and I had to watch this one twice to really get everything out of it. Thank you so much for sharing and keep being yourselves, I have so much love for both of you
This is so cool to hear! We love getting to share and especially about this topic. Thank you for watching. We have so much love for you!!
Is it possible that human beings are inherently Poly amorous, and that we have been conditioned throughout many hundreds of years now to see life from a fear based and lack based paradigm that has been the foundation of our up bringing and that of our parents? Is it possible that monogamy can't keep up with human potential with regards to experience, and creates the obvious outcome(s) of jealousy, infidelity, intolerance and divorce in society? Polyamory, while I'm sure has its own emotional challenges, can potentially provide much more opportunity than monogamy. I think monogamy has been an issue for me in my relationships over the years, seeing potential, but because of the strict rules of engagement dictated by monogamy, that potential goes unrealized as do the relationships. Very good video guys. I will endeavour to expand my knowledge on the subject.
WOW! Ever heard a sealed Tupperware canister open? I feel like the same thing just happened to my mind, after watching this. Thank you two so much for sharing!
hahhahahaa omg we LOVE this comment so much! haha, this is amazing. We are fricken honored. And so pumped for you! Thank you for watching!
YYYYAAAS this is so powerful
+Queer Kyra We love you too!
Awe :)
If you think of schadenfreude which is the joy you feel seeing someone else in a worse situation, and you flip it to a type of schadenfreude where you vicariously feel the joy and excitement your partner feels then you eliminate any negativity attached to the experiences of what others call jealousy. Jealousy in my definition is an unhealthy version of compersion
This video was a huge help. Thank you for sharing.
So authentic and insightful! Much love to both of you
Thank you! Much love back
This video of yours really helped brought perspective and help mapping out some things. Thanks Conor and Brittany.
So nice to see authenticity like this :)
+Caroline Knight So great to be seen for it. Thank you for watching and for sharing!
You are both amazing! All your advice has helped me so much!
Wonderful to read. Thank you!
+Conor and Brittany Your so welcome! ❤Thank you!
What if one partner is more comfortable with this type of relationship than the other? I'd like to move past jealousy but I feel that I have so much to work through internally. The biggest one for me is the thought surrounding sharing bodies and energies. It just feel yucky to me and I'm sure this is old conditioning but that yucky feeling doesn't seem to go away. Sure I can feel good when I am in alignment but I'm not always feeling good idk if this makes sense
+Tess Ney-Filomeno This is a great question. Thank you so much for asking about it and for sharing your feelings on it so openly. I can imagine a lot of people feeling this way. We would love to talk about this more in an upcoming video. Thanks again!
I'm a very monogamous person, but have been wondering if I should be polyamorous because the man I'm with has brought it up in conversation. I don't want to lose him and feel maybe we should start being poly. He is committed to me now, but I'm not sure if not being poly will make him stray.
We have a video on this you can search for on google or youtube. Just search "Conor and Brittany my partner wants an open relationship but I don't". Much love to you!
Thank you, I'm so grateful that you both share these experiences, I found it really relatable, practical and helpful
This is so so helpful, thank you so much!
GRACIAS!! I've been struggling with relationships my whole life, because I can't help connecting with other people at the same time, and nobody seems to understand or accept that. I've been feeling really frustrated and guilty. Your videos are giving me such joy and hope! I'm changing job, going minimalist, and definitely wanna try new ways to connect with people. I got a question: What happens when you connect with someone who is committed to a monogamous relationship? I've hurt people who weren't ready for that kind of connection (and I'm not talking about sex at all). - Much love to you guys!
+Adriana Coines Escriche Gracias por verlo! Es un gusto escuchar de vos. Thanks so much for sharing more of your experiences in this realm with us! I can really understand feeling those emotions come up. I love that you are experiencing more joy and hope and I feel honored that we can be a part of that! This is a good question- we've received a few variations of it and are excited to answer it in an upcoming Q&A. Thanks for reaching out! Love to you!
*I have a partner that doesn't believe in labels but agreed we'd have an exclusive relationship. I found out he's been excluding me from events, staying active with tinder, & sharing pictures with girls that are almost 10 years younger. None of this is concrete proof that he lied, but I feel hurt & I don't even know how to talk to him about it.*
Excellent video, love your perspective on this whole issue, I'm going to try adopting this approach myself
+MsLondonSmile Thank you for the positive feedback. Please keep us posted on how this goes for you!
This is kinda long, but if you've got time, I'd really value your response!::
So, I've just found you guys, and have been really enjoying the very down-to-earth way you describe polyamory. To be honest, prior to seeing this video, in particular, I was feeling very... confused? upset? apprehensive?... about the whole topic. I mean, I just had this almost guttural reaction to the idea of polyamory... even though, being both a very progressive and optimistic, but also highly logical person, sort of helps it make sense.
I'm a gay male. Gay culture is notoriously non-monogamous. For someone like me (small town, surrounded by military) who only began the process of being able to explore relationships in college, I've found myself at this personal opportunity to learn that has been difficult, given my (admittedly) socially-constructed (see: heteronormative... whatever THAT means, really) view of relationships. Which, as I'm sure you can understand, has definitely been a hurdle in fully embracing who I am, and carrying on soul-inspiring personal relationships as it is fairly restrictive.
Don't get me wrong... I love being gay. I've always known and always been proud of it. But I've been through several ltrs where I've, ultimately, been cheated on. Well, every single one, actually.
Look... I consider myself a fairly attractive guy. I speak several languages, I'm outgoing, I'm social, I like being outside and playing sports, I can cook and sing and dance, lots of interests... I'd like to consider myself a catch! So, despite WANTING to overcome this emotional obstacle, I have this level of insecurity that tells me "Nope. Why would you go into something (non-monogamy) after seeing how you felt in these past situations? Why complicate things?"
Honestly, it's overcoming my own insecurities, following 3 ltrs in which trust was broken, that has been my biggest hurdle.
That being said, what kind of advice would you guys offer a guy like me? Somebody who isn't averse to exploring polyamory (ok... there's a guy), and understands what it's about, but is having a hard time evolving to that level based on past less-than-positive experiences?
Sorry so long... but I hope you guys can find the time to answer!
Love your videos! Very insightful! THANK YOU!
We love your question. We love feeling YOU behind your words. This is just beautiful. We will make a video on this soon!
Thank you. So much love for you guys ❤️
+Andrea Woods Thanks for watching! Heaps of love to you
I know this video is old but it’s the first time watching you guys. I have a question: my bf has two other gfs and he lives with one and has been with her the longest so I guess she’s the nesting partner ( they broke up, he got with me, then we broke up, then he found out he got a girl pregnant so he started dating her and then he got back with the girl he lives with and then he and I got back together. It’s very complex.) But I’m feeling as though I’m not getting “enough” out of the relationship. He says he is giving me what he can and he cannot give more than what he has. But I feel as though when I tell him the types of things I need from him, how I need to be supported and loved, he tells me he WONT do that, Not that he CANT. I’m just wondering if its something that I have to deal with about myself, or if this type of relationship is not right for me, or if maybe he and I are just not compatible as a couple? I don’t really feel jealous of his time with the others or jealous of him having sex with them, I just feel like I’m not as important as the other two. Especially since he’s had a baby with one and is expecting with the other and I’m feeling left out and left behind as of lately. Should I leave?
Awakened:)Imo, 'True Love' Only Grows from Healthy Minded Best Friends..im single ,but i will want only the Best for my Best friend. (Whoever She is)...No Ego No overt Pride from me..im secure in myself, i want the Metaphysically Healthiest and Best for Both of Us..No one Owns Anyone, We will be Together Because We Vibe In Unified Spirit Connect.. A Full Relationship that i myself am Completely Compersionistic and Fully Support Her Personal Enlightenment Always!!:)
+Charles White This is absolutely GORGEOUS. I want to copy it and put it up somewhere to keep reading. Such a beautiful intension for you and your best friend! Heaps of love to you!
+Conor and Brittany Your So Gracious:)Spiritual Hugs To Both of Your Beautiful Spirits Always..!:) Your Response Brought Tears Of Appreciation For Your Heartfelt Response..no one has said to much about "My Way" of what i call 'Advanced Connective' From a Healthy Mental Health Perspective To Preserve The Amazingness in ALL of US On Purpose!!!:)And Be Responsible For Looking Out For Our Source Energy Purity..Thats Humanities True Beauty That So Important To Nurture!!:)..Im also on G+ 'Charles White".or '88chazz@gmail.com' HHUUGGS!!:)And Much Love!:)
I just found you guys and your helping me so much
Thank you so much for this video. It really helped me today. Gave me a new perspective.
You are so welcome!
This video was an opportunity for me to remind myself of the power of relating to the world and myself through my feelings and not because of my emotions. Thank you for your compersion...for me. It gives me space to love myself even more. Grateful.
Beautiful reflection
I don't think it comes down to poly or monogamous, but rather how in tune the two (or more) people are. I'm married and in a monogamous relationship, and neither of us have ever been jealous, because we come from the same place and wants the same things. It always bothers me when one side tries to tell the other it's wrong.
You guys are really well spoken, every idea you expressed came across really well. Great work guys, I love it!
Also Conor looks a lot like my dad seriously what the fuck!
Thank you so much!
And- that is hilarious ;)
I loooove this! And I love the both of you !
We love you too!
how old are you guys connor you seem to be about 35 and Britney you look no older than 25 I want to say 22 at the least ad I know in anoher video you said you had gone on a journey for ten years and I was like no way she cant be that old. you both look very young. is it because of your awesome lifestyle? I also love your videos so vey much!! don't ever stop spreading knowledge the world needs it.
+lemonsnick25 I'm 32 and Britt is 28. I think we both look A LOT healthier than we used to and I contribute this to our overall lifestyle which includes diet, movement, sleep, connection and living a life of passion. Thanks for the comment :) -Conor
Hey guys thank you for your great channel! :)
What du you think if someone of you has a crush on a very attractive person?
Don't you find it hard not to compare yourself with this other person?
This was a great video. Thanks for making it.
You are so welcome! Thanks for taking the time to leave a positive comment
Really interesting video you guys :) I would have thought that a majority of feelings of jealousy in this situation stem from a fear of loosing that person to someone else. While I'm sure many would say you need to love yourself more and it is more your own self doubt, the reality is it could happen. Even if you love yourself fully and you embrace the experiences your partner has, does the idea of your partner falling in love with someone else and making them their main priority connection wise not bother either of you? I realize that this could easily happen in a monogamous relationship too, but putting yourselves in a situation where you could explore this if you wanted to does make the odds that bit higher. Looking forward to more videos :)
+SerenaTheDreamer Thanks so much for watching and for reaching out with this curiosity. I love the idea of diving deeper into this topic and sharing more of how we feel about it in an upcoming video or Q&A.
Love this video!
Dear Conor & Brittany, even though this is an old video, I really, really hope you can answer my question: do you have compersion exercises or ways to practise compersion? There seems to be so few information about it online, and I'd really love to grow into feeling compersion more easily.
Thanks in advance for your answer!
Thanks for your question We do :) Check out our Healing Jealousy program: conorandbrittany.com/healing-jealousy-program/
Hi Conor and Brittany,
Nice job you guys are doing!
The thing that worries me the most about an open relationship are STDs. If you have only one partner you don t have to worry about this, but I can t avoid thinking that condoms are not a hundred porcent save. Since I know both of you care a lot about your health, maybe you would like to make a video about this topic.
P.S. Sorry if there are mistakes, I m from Brazil and it has been a long time I don t practise my english.
+Larissa Putz Hello there. Thanks for reaching out and sharing your curiosity and concerns. We talked about STDs in this Q&A video: ruclips.net/video/7JukcvP2jBg/видео.html. I hope that's helpful! Also, your English is great! Heaps of love to you in Brazil!
+Conor and Brittany Thank you!!!
thank you for your inquires of the feeling jealousy and then thank you for sharing
Hi guys! I always enjoy your videos. Random: My partner and I would love to learn some basic acro moves. Any plans to teach some online? Or do you have any recommendations for free online resources? (There are no classes in our area.)
Also, I love the idea of jealousy as being a message from ourselves to ourselves. Agree!
+Michelle Dawn Yes, I really think all our emotions and somatic experiences are messages to us. Nothing to fear, only something to listen to.
+Michelle Dawn Thanks so much! I'm glad you are enjoying them. We would love to teach you guys acro! We do offer it at the events we teach at, but not online right now. Here's a great beginner series I recommend checking out! ruclips.net/video/Wh0jDKUV7PU/видео.html
+Conor and Brittany Awesome, thanks! And thanks for widening my vocabulary: compersion!
Oh my god this is amazing.
Hi guys :) watching your videos has been interesting, esp coming from a conservative asian background. my question is, if you don't like to label things, and your relationship with each other comes with no commitments or boundaries what makes it different from the other connections that you form with other people? forming new physical connections with others is ok, what about emotional ones? can you be in love with more than one person ? what makes your relationship different from the other connections you form? thanks for taking the time to make these videos and for reading my question :) love from singapore
+Madeleine Tan Great questions, I hope they get a chance to answer them :)
+SerenaTheDreamer thanks Serena :) hope they get back to us !
+Madeleine Tan Hi! Thanks so much for reaching out about this. It's nice to hear from you and to hear more about your curiosity in this realm. We just filmed a second Q&A that we will be releasing in April that dives deeper into this topic. Thanks again for asking! Sending heaps of love to you in Singapore!
+SerenaTheDreamer Thanks for your curiosity too! Keep an eye out for our next Q&A :)
He guys.. I just wanted you guys to know that you guys are great and beautiful... No need to cut / edit the video's... Your in-between space.... speaks to the heart...
Have a great day and thanks for being....
Thank you so much! We enjoy both types of videos but very very much appreciate the positive feedback! Have a great day and thanks for being!
You are so beautiful and so open in connecting with each other. I like that so called "bad" emotions are no tabu in your relationship but the way round.
My question is: how do you interact with people who are not loving humans like you. people who dont understand your jealousy like you do. who say, that this feeling is wrong. or people who are not in such a deep connection with their feelings and who blame you for their feelings?
or dont you connect with people who are different?
+Carla Schäfer Wow. What a great questions!! Thank you so much. We absolutely answer this in an upcoming video.
This is wonderful
Excellent video! TFS
+Bianca Krouwer I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching!
Super appreciate this video! Any thoughts on places to find more poly community? Thanks!
We have found that being open in our hearts and bring that into the world has helped bring it out in others. In other words, the people we want to link up with are everywhere! We think just being true to ourselves and showing it, in an emotionally safe way that feels good to us, to the world will bring about the connections we seek.
Do you guys plan on ever having kids? would that change your open relationship dynamic?
Love uuuuu!!!!
What is your take on pornography? Do you like/dislike? Watch it or not? If you do is it together or alone? Is it something you are ok with the other person doing? Thank you for sharing these videos I'm learning a lot. Jealousy is something I struggle with.
We are doing a video on this very shortly!
I "lover" you guys. 😍☺️
haha!! We lover you tooooo
This was helpful
Hi you both! Really great and open videos!! ....and sooo human! Open and authentic! Most people (94%)talk about loyality (not having sex with another partner) being the most important thing when in a relationship and then around 80% "betray" their partners. I think if we do real inner work we find that it is just human to want to explore other human beings.....but there are sooo many mental and emotional barriers conditioned into us that most humans cannot not even talk about these topics in an open way.....let alone live it. thanks for being such a light!
Maybe interesting for you this link about real emotional work from one of the best in that field: ruclips.net/video/wuMbPp8rf2M/видео.html
all the best to you both!
Michael
+TheSmooooth We love sharing our experience. Thanks for the comment and the link.