I loved how she acted when she was clearly trying not to cry in front of her friends, it was so accurate! How she avoided eye contact, even avoided talking because she knew she'd cry. Great actress :)
I went through the crying phase.... when it doesn't stop for long enough, the crying does stop I guess... it got replaced by grief wails, and growls. I can still cry occasionally... when I think someone cares about me. Otherwise the tears don't flow anymore.
A lot of people really looking at the horror aspect being the crying/fetish side and hardly anyone is pointing out how this is a clear story on grooming. She's in high school and a 30 year old man is manipulating her as entertainment for other, mostly older, men. In the end when she can't cry a lot of comments seem to be talking about how it's empowering for her and worked as a twisted way of therapy, but in reality it was taken away from her. A human response to let out emotions was twisted and manipulated to be pleasure for others that she feels she can't even have a private cry to herself because crying is no longer for her. It's for others. This is one of the best horror shorts I've ever seen. A near perfect depiction of manipulation, underage grooming and touching on a part of cyberbullying. I hope this actress will be going places.
I saw that too. That's precisely why I didn't like it. Too cynical, too harsh, too hopeless. The grooming is clearly apparent the first time she does her livestream on the site and she reads "client", and everything that happens next just confirms how manipulated she becomes.Yep... Didn't like this.
I agree completely. I actually watched this quite some time ago and it just popped up again so I decided to take a look at some of the newer comments. (I think it really says something about this piece that two years after it’s release people are still watching and commenting, ALTER really showcases some insane indie talents). Yours is one of the best comments I’ve found. Very insightful and I think you grasped some aspects that passed others by, which is unfortunate, I wish everyone has seen the themes that you did. I’m really glad to see the grooming and cyberbullying being pointed out. Also the fact that this incredibly important emotion has been robbed from her is such an important part of this and invoked a very visceral reaction in me. I think this was written and directed extremely well and I too hope this actress goes on to better and better things because she did an amazing job. Loved your critique!
If you think about it, it is not so dissimilar from the life story of p0rn st@rs. They do the act for others, they make money out of it, they may or may not enjoy it that much, their expressions and emotions are fake. But when they really find their true love, and want to get physically close to them, do they enjoy it or "feel it" as much as they should? I don't know. They lose one of the most human feelings - the feeling of physical intimacy towards our loved ones.
What is really scary is that you *KNOW* that there are people that have fetishes like this...the internet has something for everyone, no matter how weird or creepy.... Very well acted!
The fetishes aren't that scary, the real scary part is not realizing how far is too far when you get sucked into something like this, how being vulnerable for a moment can ruin you
the way i, as a girl, knew the second he said he was a director looking for people to cast that it was going to be bad. casting directors don't just get a person off of their looks, NEVER go with someone who randomly approaches you talking about casting you to an "audition", its not safe
Ok but there are literally people who do that it's an actual job what you just described is called talent scouting and it's where scouts will look for someone who has any defining qualities they're looking for and judging based off of first impressions whether or not they're worth scouting if they are then they will get something (can be a phone number or just anything that can be used by the casting directors to know that they were found by a talent scout next would be normal auditions and often those who were scouted receive more attention from the casting directors because they have specific qualities that are aligned with their idea of whatever the audition is for
@@klownivoreyou should probably specify what is and isn't normal for talent scouts so people dont just go trusting random people that come up to them willy nilly
Definitely look into the person and their agency before you go anywhere or give them any money. Best-case scenario of getting played: check out Robert Barone's experience in Everybody Loves Raymond. Worst case in these type of stories? Check what happened to Phoebe Hallowell in Charmed. Hopefully, if you guys have a bad experience, it'll skew closer to the Robert end of things. But in a story like this, my money's on something a bit closer to Phoebe's fate.
I'm surprised some people are taking the ending positively. Sometimes you should cry. Sometimes you need to cry. If you can't do it at those times, it's not a good thing.
I know this is a year old comment but I personally somehow lost the ability to cry, idk if it were the meds I was on (a lot of antipsychotics mixee with antidepressants and benzos), and it doesn't matter. What matters is that after crying, your brain releases the Good Feeling, the rush of sudden calmness and even happiness. The weight that has driven you to tears lifted a little. You get to breathe easily for a while longer. I can't cry. Anytime I feel it coming it's like my brain slams the door, and I suddenly stop. The feeling remains. And it pilles up. I used to think people who don't cry in shows and movies are cool as hell, and I aspired to be like that. To be strong. This is not strenght. This is my greatest weakness because that weight is going to suffocate me eventually. I want to cry so bad
Alter doesn't make all the short films, Alter is a way for indie film makers to show their film's to a larger audience. CryptTV makes their own films, effects, etc. Alter exhibits film makers. It's like Alter is the museum show casing the art, the museum didn't paint the art pieces. No one running the museum had anything to do with the galleries. It's just a spot to show case smaller talent.
@@Yatukih_001 I suggest you take a look at Crypt TV. They are a lot like Alter, but has some major difference like @Clovilah said. I always binge-watch there.
This short film is great commentary on how older men prey on younger impressionable girls and manipulate and exploit them. Based on the comment section people seem to be taking the crying website too literally.
I love how there are Always men under this type of videos or comments that go "men too" "women are bad too". I mean calm down dude, of course men are abused too and women are evil, not specifyng this everytime does not mean this doesnt happen. Thats no point on going under videos of abused girls saying that men are abused too, under videos of abused men saying women are abused too, or videos of human violence in general to Say that animals are abused too. Thats clear as hell that in this world nobody Is safe and literally everyone can be a dangerous bastard, but this thing of "yes but men too/women too" Is getting cringy, and for what, to feel Better in your own genre everytime a bad thing come from someone with your same reproductive organs? Reality Is this, everyone sucks
While it has a premise of being sold as a fetish, I don't necessarily think it's a sexual transaction between her and the men watching her. For example, the tear ratings and them wanting the emotion to be authentic; in a growing society where we get more and more emotionally calloused, we crave intimate emotions. Hypothetically, we could get to a point where we don't even remember what those emotions looked like or felt like. Certainly everyone Mara runs into acts this way due to the consistent cruelty. She is marketing an emotion and eventually runs out just like those who view her
Very good point. Sadly I had dabbled in online fetish word during the throws of a heroin addiction. I’m now 6 years clean but I’ll never forget the things told you me by some of these guys. I mean some real sickos who literally want you to hurt. This is a thing- they want actual pain. Most will degrade you- yell and make you feel like total shit so you’ll cry more and they don’t like the ones who appear fake either. They like the control the power being overtop someone and knowing for sure there won’t be any coincidences - they have a fetish for everything from toes to sneezing.. it’s a bizarre and often dangerous world. Many of these men go way too far- and I was always wondering if one was going to track me down and murder me but I did it anyways right. They get into your head and the money seems easy at first. They demand more and more to keep getting new thrills. I didn’t do the crying scene but I had been in one on ones awhile with a certain man who likes the submissive girls so I played along. Fun at first really- light stuff like lightly slapping myself - was weird but the money was good.... but... it got more and more dark as it progressed. One day he asked me Well demanded really - that i should hold my arm up and cut myself and no Hollywood blood bull shit was his words. He said he would pay me 1500 to slice open my arm hold it up and pull apart to show its real. I mean... that’s disturbing. The even more disturbing part..... I have a 4” scar on my arm from the stitches.
She never had to cry, she never actually cries. It's so fake the entire time, it's almost frustrating. This is what someone who wants attention looks like. Fake crying, fake emotions. This is what that girl at the party who wants the guys to look at her, looks like. She whimpers and pretends to be upset so others will comfort her and she thus becomes the center of attention. I'm not saying that was what this was about, just that this girl has no acting skill at all. It's literally at a high school level. I cannot believe all the compliments people give to "actors" in every Alter short that comes through, as if it's just a given they are great because they were in something.
So I looked it up and, yeah. Edgar Allan Poe was regarded as attractive back in the day. Women described him as darkly handsome, elegant, intelligent, and a gentlemen. The more you know.
I feel like there’s a meaning behind this, almost like a deep, hidden thing lying behind what horror the film is. It’s not scary because of monsters or jump-scares, it’s scary because of the way we can’t find the meaning, but we know it’s there, and we are scared of what we can’t see, or what we don’t know.
I'm getting themes of the commodification of women-especially young women. Through history we've been seen this way- they sell our motherhood, or our beauty, our sexuality, our youth, our virginity, you name it-they sell it right out from under us, back to us and in a worse way to men. They use us to sell cigarettes, alcohol and clothes, Axe body spray. Freaking cheeseburgers. You name it, and they've used women to sell you something. And it hurts in a million ways- makes us change our bodies and buy the makeup and the mani-pedi combo and the wax and the high heels. We find ourselves getting cosmetic surgery-literally cutting into ourselves- to please those who look at us. We develop eating disorders and worse. We get them because we have been exploited and manipulated through our insecurities, told that when we do not please those around us we no longer have value. Hence the end- she no longer has anything left to give. She has become the sum of her parts.
Wow you just described most Alter films in the most perfect way possible. I've been trying to figure out how their videos are so eerie, and you explained it so well
There is, its a metaphor for how vulnerable girls and lured and manipulated into the porn industry, exploited, and many times forced to hurt themselves to increase profits
Or maybe she just saw what a trash is the man who made her cry and got over him and that shady director. Maybe it’s good she is not crying I believe she moved on and now can go with her life knowing who are worthy to include in it.
@@cerealsauce4639 I know you didn't ask me, but I assume they are referring to her character, as in what Mara did on camera, similar to that of porn stars being filmed.
Same with me, though I understand that it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea whether society is involved or not (some people are built to be comfortable with being alone, and some people wouldn't be able to stand it)! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wow! This short film looks like a new episode of the "Black Mirror" series! The plot, cinematography, directing, casting, and especially the performance of Carly Stewart is very impressive! I'm glad her character, Mara, didn't commit suicide and she stayed alive. But the ending is still very sad. I would even cry if I could 😥
This is the only short film in a while that has genuinely terrified me. Just the idea of a 30 year old man manipulating a vulnerable teen into sex work is SO SCARY. And the fact that it keeps her from having healthy and normal reactions to things? Brilliant writing. Absolutely devastating.
@@jasonknowskarate6020The "tear fetish" is meant to be a stand-in for sex work and "cam girls" Almsot everything about the way that creep manipulated and lied to her is scarily accurate to how groomers prey upon young girls vulnerabilities.
@@jasonknowskarate6020 She's crying for guys who 9 chances out of 10 go to that site because it's their fetish It's like posting pics of your feet or armpits for cash. You may not be into it, but they are
That reaction at 1:39 was absolutely fantastic. The quick turn to hide and movement of the facial muscles to distract one from their emotions was done spot on!
I am so sick of this whole mindset of "it's ok to be 30+ and date 18 year olds cause they are legal!" Shit. Mentally they are still teens. I'm 32 years old. 18 year olds are children to me and most other adults I have talked too. It's just so gross.
i think the point that this film is giving is that pain people prey on those that seem weak and will tear them down until they aren't themselves anymore. He took away her ability to express her sadness and fetishized her pain.
GOD I have to talk about this. This is genuinely such a beautiful, poignant way to accurately portray grooming and csa in a non-graphic way, but still have it be just as impactful and disturbing to witness... I'm obviously not going to go into detail about my life, but I have to say that this is EXTREMELY accurate in so many ways, and GOD her inability to cry at the end just... my heart sank because that is SUCH an accurate and depressing aspect to this kind of abuse. Taking something natural and human and something that can even be beautiful, and twisting it into something that can no longer be properly experienced, or that has to be forced out of a person instead of being willingly participated in. Seriously, when she was getting to the point of hurting herself in order to be able to cry on camera, that hit SO EXTREMELY hard. Because (again, without going into too much detail) it gets to a point where what you're doing is no longer a cathartic, willing action. The only way you can experience it is through force. And it just gets worse and worse the longer it goes on, as was so beautifully (and painfully) portrayed by her having to progress from snapping a hair tie all the way to bashing her knuckles in. I seriously could go on and on about how accurate a display of this all is, while still managing to be non-graphic and non-exploitative. Genuinely, thank you to everyone who worked on this!! Everyone seriously did so amazing, and this works both as a fantastic horror film and a genuinely emotional portrayal of csa and other forms of exploitation. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!!
I think the crying IS supposed to be an allegory for sex and pornography. Her connection with the creepy director guy is like an abusive relationship. She puts out for him, she tries to please him, and she might receive money and praise in return. Even when she's degraded, she tries to brush it off. At the end, I think it was brave for her to stand up to him, but it was too little, too late. The director guy wanted her to cry harder by exposing her, but she just can't... I was thinking that she'd smash the mirror to continue maiming herself. She can't cry even if she wants to... maybe it symbolizes how after enough abuse, a gal just... snaps? Can't love, even if she wants to. Hopefully, she kicks his bitchass!
These Alter horrors are getting TOO REAL. After this, I need to scroll back through and find one of the older ones with demon clowns or something just to chill out. Frick
Man this has SO much potential! So many learning opportunities for our youth! I see following a stranger into something that you have no idea on what it may be! Fake friends!! Self harm!! Low self esteem!! Empowerment! The guy preys on young females! She’s also so easy to get crushes on people and have her own little fantasy about it! The potential danger of the type of room they’re running!
My theory behind what the clients get from seeing her cry is confidence. If someone who is deemed pretty or beautiful by your own standards is crying and you manage to console them, then I imagine that could be a big ego boost. Of course, different people may get gratification from the same thing for different reasons; the school friend who saw her just thrived on the idea of someone experiencing emotional pain. Reading into the scene where Duco makes her eyes bleed, that's effectively the pretext for what happens; she's bled dry of tears and emotion in exchange for his money. "Selling your soul" as it were. The paradigm of being "the centre of humiliation in front of the whole school" is generally the worst nightmare of most teenage girls that would result in endless tears. The shock on her face when she realises not even that could make her cry was palatable. The attempt to burn herself under the water was cherry on the cake.
Horror isn't all about ghouls, poltergeists, or any other spirits you can think of. Sometimes the real horror lies in the reality and truth of life. Not being able to feel a certain emotion can ruin someone's life mentally, and eventually lead the person to harming one's self physically. Now *that's* the true horror.
I never saw my ex husband ever cry. No tears when his mother, 2 sisters and best friend died. He was very materialistic, couldn't relate to our four children, was a racists to certain ethnic groups and didn't identify with the race he was born into. Very sad.
@@elisabetecristina6188 lol the prefix "Drako" is a typo for "Draco" which it means Dragon and philia means strange love, or obsession. Something tells me that's not it
i think the real horror isnt just in the manipulation of social media and how it drives you to do terrible things to yourself, but in the "mara, im 30... but we can find a way". that hit me like a ton of bricks bc if it wasnt creepy enough already, its also incredibly real... and so easy to skim past.
I didn't understand the reaction of the people at the prom. I mean...none of them reacted, no teachers were around... To be honest I would think it is an art project, or I would ask her if she is OK. I would never think like "oh she is payed for that". I guess it was a bit hypercontectualised
I just adore this moment when he tells her she wants to cast her and she's both happy and sad in the same moment. Jesus, it's so convincing. I could believe that that's how she got the role here
For a while I was so emotionally screwed up and on medications, it was impossible to cry and the absolute frustration you feel when you’re upset and can’t cry is unnerving
Psych meds…. That’s why I battle my BPD without prescription drugs…being so angry that you want to rip something to shreds and you can’t move or cry was a horror show within itself…I’ll never forgive myself for those medicines I put in my body. Thank God for MaryJane❤ Hope you’re doing better! 😊
The prom scene…. The fact that she realised that he didn’t have the ability to cry was shocking!!! And also when she realised that he wasn’t a “movie director” terrified me. Love love loveeee this short horror film!!!
Honestly this is superb! Not only does it show how some times our money and fame make us do things like crying in front of screen but that sometimes we get to far into our minds that we forget and over react to the things that happen around us also the actor Carly Stewart is awesome! Thanks Alter!
The tearless end was waaayyy more painful. Exceptional work. Much to think about how we all need release. That one would be a cutter fast, burner, breaker. Career victim. How many of us are baited into self abuse right now in 2021 today?
It’s about dominance. Sooner or later they demand more and more to get more and more thrills. These things are very dangerous. I know as I was apart of it as a heroin addict. There is some very very sick men out there who can and will find where you live and then demand whatever they want or threaten you- many girls had this happen: some had small kids some living w parents and all ashamed of how far it got and tried to keep it hidden. They never realize when you cam it opens a connection and they can easily swipe things from your devices. Young naive girls get involved and then trapped. It’s sad really.
@@amandaroman3471 Good Advise esp for younger generations . They use to say a Picture is worth a thousand words but THE INTERNET is Worth Thousands 😢 Also it's is a Lifetime of Embarrassment . This is a Good Short to Show your Kids a Causionary film since most are home for Covid 19.
I’m a goth metalhead vampire but pretty conventional straight guy with no fetishes I can think of. It’s amazing what people are into. Not kink shaming just fascinating.
The horrifying thing about this to me is that it reminds me of something that actually happened to me. When I was younger I had issues with selfharm and one time when I was in a hospital because of that there was another patient, a young man, noticing what was wrong with me. He told me it turned him on and that he'd like to have sex with me. He also wanted to see me do it and asked if he could see and touch the wounds/scars. I was lucky enough to be called to the doctors office at that moment and got away from this situation, I remember being completely overwhelmed and dizzy from drugs, therefore unable to defend myself or respond properly. I never saw him again. But after all this years it still sends chills down my spine.
This is absolutely the creepiest, most realistic, most moving, most... disturbing... "horror" movie I have ever seen... by far! WOW!! I just KNEW this would be an amazing production based on the like/dislike ratio. Impressive work. Great acting, great storyline, settings, music, etc. Thank you!
FUNNY AND STUPIDEST JUDGE CASES. YOU CALL YOURSELF DOWN PAYMENT SO THEY RENT YOU NOT YOUR HOME? THAT'S FUNNY. PICK HIM UP. HA HA HA YOUR MOTHER AS YOUR DEFENDANT AND YOU ARE? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW I MOCK. HA HA HA THEY LAUGH.
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
I loved how she acted when she was clearly trying not to cry in front of her friends, it was so accurate! How she avoided eye contact, even avoided talking because she knew she'd cry. Great actress :)
she is a tough woman, she is able to look in every eye just talking and she does not need to cry!
@@piaschlomer8630 sorry 🗿 you Don't have to say what should she do 🗿
I cry like baby in front of everyone 🗿
me on the daily lol
@@lightofheaven787 i don’t think you understood that comment, dear.
I went through the crying phase.... when it doesn't stop for long enough, the crying does stop I guess... it got replaced by grief wails, and growls.
I can still cry occasionally... when I think someone cares about me. Otherwise the tears don't flow anymore.
A lot of people really looking at the horror aspect being the crying/fetish side and hardly anyone is pointing out how this is a clear story on grooming. She's in high school and a 30 year old man is manipulating her as entertainment for other, mostly older, men.
In the end when she can't cry a lot of comments seem to be talking about how it's empowering for her and worked as a twisted way of therapy, but in reality it was taken away from her. A human response to let out emotions was twisted and manipulated to be pleasure for others that she feels she can't even have a private cry to herself because crying is no longer for her. It's for others.
This is one of the best horror shorts I've ever seen. A near perfect depiction of manipulation, underage grooming and touching on a part of cyberbullying. I hope this actress will be going places.
I think there is a bit of everything in it
And then that man moved onto another young girl
I saw that too. That's precisely why I didn't like it. Too cynical, too harsh, too hopeless. The grooming is clearly apparent the first time she does her livestream on the site and she reads "client", and everything that happens next just confirms how manipulated she becomes.Yep... Didn't like this.
I agree completely. I actually watched this quite some time ago and it just popped up again so I decided to take a look at some of the newer comments. (I think it really says something about this piece that two years after it’s release people are still watching and commenting, ALTER really showcases some insane indie talents). Yours is one of the best comments I’ve found. Very insightful and I think you grasped some aspects that passed others by, which is unfortunate, I wish everyone has seen the themes that you did. I’m really glad to see the grooming and cyberbullying being pointed out. Also the fact that this incredibly important emotion has been robbed from her is such an important part of this and invoked a very visceral reaction in me. I think this was written and directed extremely well and I too hope this actress goes on to better and better things because she did an amazing job. Loved your critique!
If you think about it, it is not so dissimilar from the life story of p0rn st@rs. They do the act for others, they make money out of it, they may or may not enjoy it that much, their expressions and emotions are fake. But when they really find their true love, and want to get physically close to them, do they enjoy it or "feel it" as much as they should? I don't know. They lose one of the most human feelings - the feeling of physical intimacy towards our loved ones.
What is really scary is that you *KNOW* that there are people that have fetishes like this...the internet has something for everyone, no matter how weird or creepy....
Very well acted!
I don't know that.
Dacryphilia is the proper term for it
@@natasha4440 lol..oof and it has a name 😲 man people are weird!
The fetishes aren't that scary, the real scary part is not realizing how far is too far when you get sucked into something like this, how being vulnerable for a moment can ruin you
Fetishes are...hard to explain. If somebody wants to hear my take on it go ahead
the way i, as a girl, knew the second he said he was a director looking for people to cast that it was going to be bad. casting directors don't just get a person off of their looks, NEVER go with someone who randomly approaches you talking about casting you to an "audition", its not safe
sana from twice
Ok but there are literally people who do that it's an actual job what you just described is called talent scouting and it's where scouts will look for someone who has any defining qualities they're looking for and judging based off of first impressions whether or not they're worth scouting if they are then they will get something (can be a phone number or just anything that can be used by the casting directors to know that they were found by a talent scout next would be normal auditions and often those who were scouted receive more attention from the casting directors because they have specific qualities that are aligned with their idea of whatever the audition is for
Uh… yes they do. Like that’s EXACTLY what they do lol
@@klownivoreyou should probably specify what is and isn't normal for talent scouts so people dont just go trusting random people that come up to them willy nilly
Definitely look into the person and their agency before you go anywhere or give them any money. Best-case scenario of getting played: check out Robert Barone's experience in Everybody Loves Raymond. Worst case in these type of stories? Check what happened to Phoebe Hallowell in Charmed. Hopefully, if you guys have a bad experience, it'll skew closer to the Robert end of things. But in a story like this, my money's on something a bit closer to Phoebe's fate.
I'm surprised some people are taking the ending positively. Sometimes you should cry. Sometimes you need to cry. If you can't do it at those times, it's not a good thing.
if you can’t cry at times your meant to it’s said that your heart is so used to depression it can’t produce the tears anymore.
@@Notyourbiggestfan1🤧true
I relate 😔
I know this is a year old comment but I personally somehow lost the ability to cry, idk if it were the meds I was on (a lot of antipsychotics mixee with antidepressants and benzos), and it doesn't matter.
What matters is that after crying, your brain releases the Good Feeling, the rush of sudden calmness and even happiness.
The weight that has driven you to tears lifted a little. You get to breathe easily for a while longer.
I can't cry. Anytime I feel it coming it's like my brain slams the door, and I suddenly stop. The feeling remains. And it pilles up.
I used to think people who don't cry in shows and movies are cool as hell, and I aspired to be like that. To be strong. This is not strenght. This is my greatest weakness because that weight is going to suffocate me eventually.
I want to cry so bad
she stood up to life. she finally fought her right to party!
Alter would be dangerous with a bigger budget 😃
I am Venom Dangerously good then...
You do know Alter dont produce or fund any of these shorts right? They're only a platform for indie shorts like MTV for music back in the days.
What budget? They host other people's content.
Alter doesn't make all the short films, Alter is a way for indie film makers to show their film's to a larger audience. CryptTV makes their own films, effects, etc. Alter exhibits film makers. It's like Alter is the museum show casing the art, the museum didn't paint the art pieces. No one running the museum had anything to do with the galleries. It's just a spot to show case smaller talent.
@@Yatukih_001 I suggest you take a look at Crypt TV. They are a lot like Alter, but has some major difference like @Clovilah said. I always binge-watch there.
She really said “Ain’t got no tears left to cry”
I didnt think of that 😭😭
Lmaooo
@@rubymargetts9838 no u
@@rubymargetts9838 someone learned the f word 😮
@@gemmakenyon6046 you😀😐
As someone with a lot of hidden anxiety and the need to cry a lot, this girl is way too accurate
Social media leads to those problems.
@@Pax_Mayn3 who the fuck asked
@@Fruidish they true though. it often is the case
Ikr
@@adorableadorylapodballe. LA feraillyniouf
This short film is great commentary on how older men prey on younger impressionable girls and manipulate and exploit them. Based on the comment section people seem to be taking the crying website too literally.
That's RUclips comment sections for you. Most people only take away surface level interpretations.
idk I'd be fine letting the guy playing the director prey on me >_>
@@clarie4497 woww youre so funnyyyy
You know woman do too
I love how there are Always men under this type of videos or comments that go "men too" "women are bad too". I mean calm down dude, of course men are abused too and women are evil, not specifyng this everytime does not mean this doesnt happen. Thats no point on going under videos of abused girls saying that men are abused too, under videos of abused men saying women are abused too, or videos of human violence in general to Say that animals are abused too. Thats clear as hell that in this world nobody Is safe and literally everyone can be a dangerous bastard, but this thing of "yes but men too/women too" Is getting cringy, and for what, to feel Better in your own genre everytime a bad thing come from someone with your same reproductive organs? Reality Is this, everyone sucks
What's weird is how this actress kind of was crying for a job. And it's amazing how she can both cry and have trouble crying--really good acting.
While it has a premise of being sold as a fetish, I don't necessarily think it's a sexual transaction between her and the men watching her. For example, the tear ratings and them wanting the emotion to be authentic; in a growing society where we get more and more emotionally calloused, we crave intimate emotions. Hypothetically, we could get to a point where we don't even remember what those emotions looked like or felt like. Certainly everyone Mara runs into acts this way due to the consistent cruelty. She is marketing an emotion and eventually runs out just like those who view her
Interesting point of veiw
Really well said and great insight Rhiannon. Thank you for watching!
So well put, thanks for checking it out.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟👍
Very good point.
Sadly I had dabbled in online fetish word during the throws of a heroin addiction. I’m now 6 years clean but I’ll never forget the things told you me by some of these guys. I mean some real sickos who literally want you to hurt. This is a thing- they want actual pain. Most will degrade you- yell and make you feel like total shit so you’ll cry more and they don’t like the ones who appear fake either. They like the control the power being overtop someone and knowing for sure there won’t be any coincidences - they have a fetish for everything from toes to sneezing.. it’s a bizarre and often dangerous world. Many of these men go way too far- and I was always wondering if one was going to track me down and murder me but I did it anyways right. They get into your head and the money seems easy at first. They demand more and more to keep getting new thrills. I didn’t do the crying scene but I had been in one on ones awhile with a certain man who likes the submissive girls so I played along. Fun at first really- light stuff like lightly slapping myself - was weird but the money was good.... but... it got more and more dark as it progressed. One day he asked me Well demanded really - that i should hold my arm up and cut myself and no Hollywood blood bull shit was his words. He said he would pay me 1500 to slice open my arm hold it up and pull apart to show its real. I mean... that’s disturbing. The even more disturbing part..... I have a 4” scar on my arm from the stitches.
Me at the end: This would be a good time to go full Carrie on them, Mara.
Darn I was hoping so. Oh well
😂
Yeah. The ending is a little disappointing.
IKR! lol
Ikr....I wish it could've been like Carrie at the end!🤔
Imagine how much she had to cry for the audition as well.🤧
Ik 😭 omg her face is ✨hydrated✨
Become HUMID
She never had to cry, she never actually cries. It's so fake the entire time, it's almost frustrating. This is what someone who wants attention looks like. Fake crying, fake emotions. This is what that girl at the party who wants the guys to look at her, looks like. She whimpers and pretends to be upset so others will comfort her and she thus becomes the center of attention. I'm not saying that was what this was about, just that this girl has no acting skill at all. It's literally at a high school level. I cannot believe all the compliments people give to "actors" in every Alter short that comes through, as if it's just a given they are great because they were in something.
@StarSimp bahahaahaha
my sister wrote the movie and told me she threw up.
"he's almost as hot as Edgar Allan Poe" what😭😭
i think it's touching on how edgar allan poe was as disgusting as this guy, as he married his wife when she was 13 and he was 27.
That character Molly is a writer. Pretty fitting that she’d romanticise a long dead poet.
@@jeonghanismHis wife was also his cousin 😭
nah i search him up nah what the fuck no hes not hot like Edgar Allan Poe
So I looked it up and, yeah. Edgar Allan Poe was regarded as attractive back in the day. Women described him as darkly handsome, elegant, intelligent, and a gentlemen.
The more you know.
I feel like there’s a meaning behind this, almost like a deep, hidden thing lying behind what horror the film is. It’s not scary because of monsters or jump-scares, it’s scary because of the way we can’t find the meaning, but we know it’s there, and we are scared of what we can’t see, or what we don’t know.
I'm getting themes of the commodification of women-especially young women. Through history we've been seen this way- they sell our motherhood, or our beauty, our sexuality, our youth, our virginity, you name it-they sell it right out from under us, back to us and in a worse way to men. They use us to sell cigarettes, alcohol and clothes, Axe body spray. Freaking cheeseburgers. You name it, and they've used women to sell you something. And it hurts in a million ways- makes us change our bodies and buy the makeup and the mani-pedi combo and the wax and the high heels. We find ourselves getting cosmetic surgery-literally cutting into ourselves- to please those who look at us. We develop eating disorders and worse. We get them because we have been exploited and manipulated through our insecurities, told that when we do not please those around us we no longer have value. Hence the end- she no longer has anything left to give. She has become the sum of her parts.
aja
Wow you just described most Alter films in the most perfect way possible. I've been trying to figure out how their videos are so eerie, and you explained it so well
There is, its a metaphor for how vulnerable girls and lured and manipulated into the porn industry, exploited, and many times forced to hurt themselves to increase profits
Or what we DO know.
That moment...she can't cry... Thats the real horror!!
I read this a real humor...sorry tired long day at work and now I’m heading to night class so yaay
Or maybe she just saw what a trash is the man who made her cry and got over him and that shady director. Maybe it’s good she is not crying I believe she moved on and now can go with her life knowing who are worthy to include in it.
@@nickimillennium are you talking about the horror film or her ACTUAL career?
@@cerealsauce4639 I know you didn't ask me, but I assume they are referring to her character, as in what Mara did on camera, similar to that of porn stars being filmed.
@@nickimillennium Really interesting take, I quite like this.
Sometimes it's wiser to stay alone then to be around people that are bringing you down🤔
I agree a lot with that
Same with me, though I understand that it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea whether society is involved or not (some people are built to be comfortable with being alone, and some people wouldn't be able to stand it)! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So very true. I'm glad I enjoy my own company, they say I'm weird etc but I'm cool with that
@@Dramadonia no that doesn't make you weird you just cool have a good spirit type of person🤔👊
Amen
Wow! This short film looks like a new episode of the "Black Mirror" series! The plot, cinematography, directing, casting, and especially the performance of Carly Stewart is very impressive! I'm glad her character, Mara, didn't commit suicide and she stayed alive. But the ending is still very sad. I would even cry if I could 😥
Why can't you cry? Do you have some kind of disease or something bruh?
@@CheezeHead-ps9xf Why can't you cry? Do you have some kind of disease or something bruh?
Why can't you cry? Do you have some kind of disease or something bruh?
wtf are the replies
@@insanelittlefangirl wait where are they?!
This is the only short film in a while that has genuinely terrified me. Just the idea of a 30 year old man manipulating a vulnerable teen into sex work is SO SCARY. And the fact that it keeps her from having healthy and normal reactions to things? Brilliant writing. Absolutely devastating.
it was sex work, even though not explicitly its fetishing@@jasonknowskarate6020
@@jasonknowskarate6020it’s heavily implied
@@jasonknowskarate6020The "tear fetish" is meant to be a stand-in for sex work and "cam girls"
Almsot everything about the way that creep manipulated and lied to her is scarily accurate to how groomers prey upon young girls vulnerabilities.
@@jasonknowskarate6020 She's crying for guys who 9 chances out of 10 go to that site because it's their fetish
It's like posting pics of your feet or armpits for cash. You may not be into it, but they are
@@jasonknowskarate6020It was for peoples fetishes, so yeah, it could be considered sex work
That reaction at 1:39 was absolutely fantastic. The quick turn to hide and movement of the facial muscles to distract one from their emotions was done spot on!
The director was ingenious in naming the girl Mara. The name “Mara” comes from a Hebrew word meaning “bitter”
It's also Nordic for Mare, it's where nightmare comes from. It's associated with sleep paralysis
Thank you for that bit of information.
Oooh that’s interesting 👀
In Hindu Mara means Soul
It's also my stepdaughter's name but pronounced Mara like Lara Croft.
i think she has no tears left to cry
Off topic but I stan your pfp
My friends dont walk they run
@@junkoenoshima2069 OMG J U N K O
this deserves more likes
Ariana grande-
The school is just cool with a 30 year old as a prom date?
I think he climbed through a window
A lot of schools are this girl I went to school with her date was 35
Legal age is 18 here..so.. technically you can bring 2 of them in 2020
I am so sick of this whole mindset of "it's ok to be 30+ and date 18 year olds cause they are legal!" Shit. Mentally they are still teens. I'm 32 years old. 18 year olds are children to me and most other adults I have talked too. It's just so gross.
@@tiffanysmith1993 Jesus...😂
i think the point that this film is giving is that pain people prey on those that seem weak and will tear them down until they aren't themselves anymore. He took away her ability to express her sadness and fetishized her pain.
well said!!!!
GOD I have to talk about this. This is genuinely such a beautiful, poignant way to accurately portray grooming and csa in a non-graphic way, but still have it be just as impactful and disturbing to witness... I'm obviously not going to go into detail about my life, but I have to say that this is EXTREMELY accurate in so many ways, and GOD her inability to cry at the end just... my heart sank because that is SUCH an accurate and depressing aspect to this kind of abuse. Taking something natural and human and something that can even be beautiful, and twisting it into something that can no longer be properly experienced, or that has to be forced out of a person instead of being willingly participated in.
Seriously, when she was getting to the point of hurting herself in order to be able to cry on camera, that hit SO EXTREMELY hard. Because (again, without going into too much detail) it gets to a point where what you're doing is no longer a cathartic, willing action. The only way you can experience it is through force. And it just gets worse and worse the longer it goes on, as was so beautifully (and painfully) portrayed by her having to progress from snapping a hair tie all the way to bashing her knuckles in.
I seriously could go on and on about how accurate a display of this all is, while still managing to be non-graphic and non-exploitative. Genuinely, thank you to everyone who worked on this!! Everyone seriously did so amazing, and this works both as a fantastic horror film and a genuinely emotional portrayal of csa and other forms of exploitation. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!!
So seeing crying people is also a fetish ??!! 🤔
This is just disturbing.
Sadism
Dacryphilia
How can you get turn on by people crying? nothing sexy about that
@Teena Courtney what a weird husband if dat was me ill make u cry of happiness cuz that what partners should do
Same way I felt when I found out balloons was a fetish.
but...the therapy worked...she was done crying.....
The problem is crying can be released for people I’m pretty sure that’s why she was begging herself to cry in the bathroom
Or the experiment was so emotionally manipulative that it made her go numb...That's not good either.
@@mrteargas8692 Enlightening point of view. There are so many different outcomes lol, any one of them could be true💯
Or was she
sir, no one said anything about her needing therapy, let alone going in this short clip... wym
GETTING PAID FOR CRYING????? WAIT LEMME JUST REWATCH BANANA FISH
guys- "My soul is always with you" 🙂
FR😭
LMAO NOO AHAHSHDH
Stoppppppp I’m still not over anything 😩
Oh gosh no. That show whew...😢
PAID NOT PAYED SMH
I think the crying IS supposed to be an allegory for sex and pornography. Her connection with the creepy director guy is like an abusive relationship. She puts out for him, she tries to please him, and she might receive money and praise in return. Even when she's degraded, she tries to brush it off. At the end, I think it was brave for her to stand up to him, but it was too little, too late. The director guy wanted her to cry harder by exposing her, but she just can't... I was thinking that she'd smash the mirror to continue maiming herself. She can't cry even if she wants to... maybe it symbolizes how after enough abuse, a gal just... snaps? Can't love, even if she wants to. Hopefully, she kicks his bitchass!
well said!!
it’s giving me black mirror vibes i love it
i feel so bad for her cause she needs validation but i love how she slowly gets her power back such a beautiful girl!
you can get paid for crying? and here i’ve been doing it for free. sign me tf up.
Absolutely 😂
Me too! I cry all the time as I am in constant mental/emotional torture.
These Alter horrors are getting TOO REAL.
After this, I need to scroll back through and find one of the older ones with demon clowns or something just to chill out. Frick
Hahaha yea I feel you
😂
You mean... ALTEReal
Man this has SO much potential! So many learning opportunities for our youth! I see following a stranger into something that you have no idea on what it may be! Fake friends!! Self harm!! Low self esteem!! Empowerment! The guy preys on young females! She’s also so easy to get crushes on people and have her own little fantasy about it! The potential danger of the type of room they’re running!
I was crying by the end because there were ads literally every two minutes.
My theory behind what the clients get from seeing her cry is confidence. If someone who is deemed pretty or beautiful by your own standards is crying and you manage to console them, then I imagine that could be a big ego boost. Of course, different people may get gratification from the same thing for different reasons; the school friend who saw her just thrived on the idea of someone experiencing emotional pain.
Reading into the scene where Duco makes her eyes bleed, that's effectively the pretext for what happens; she's bled dry of tears and emotion in exchange for his money. "Selling your soul" as it were.
The paradigm of being "the centre of humiliation in front of the whole school" is generally the worst nightmare of most teenage girls that would result in endless tears. The shock on her face when she realises not even that could make her cry was palatable. The attempt to burn herself under the water was cherry on the cake.
They are sadists who like hurting women
@@MrListerTheTittyTwisterwhat even got u to ts point
Doll I think it's just a fetish
She is a great actress. I love her look, it's so different from most actresses.
She's cute. :3
She is pretty!💯💯👸🏻
Whats her name
Ciertamente lo es
@@MotionlessKnight bathroom enemas
My question is where are this girl's parents in all this?
And also how dare they call her ugly she's so pretty😡
I think so too like i could only wish i was pretty like this
Yeah ,she's beautiful but his eyes are weird and sad.
lel
She is average
I wonder if calling her "ugly" isn't a trick of sorts to get her into a tearful mood ...
The fact she trusted someone who came up to her while she was obviously and openly having a moment of (emotional) weakness says a lot/too much already
She was a terrific actress!! Very impressed with how she portrayed her emotions!!
The way he kissed her head gave me chills, just really creeped me out.
Damn...all the tears I cried when I was younger and I missed out cashing in!
Yes…we could of been billionaires…👍
Horror isn't all about ghouls, poltergeists, or any other spirits you can think of. Sometimes the real horror lies in the reality and truth of life. Not being able to feel a certain emotion can ruin someone's life mentally, and eventually lead the person to harming one's self physically. Now *that's* the true horror.
Exactly. True dangers lie within living itself.
Her no crying, then cry, after getting rejected… so so good… made me cry!
Lots of people go weeks or even months without crying, so pressure on you to cry at least once a week would be really hard, I feel.
I never saw my ex husband ever cry. No tears when his mother, 2 sisters and best friend died. He was very materialistic, couldn't relate to our four children, was a racists to certain ethnic groups and didn't identify with the race he was born into. Very sad.
Awww no more tears for Molly. Soo is this the part where she discovers her special powers and everyone dies?
So that's what Pickering is up to these days?
“They’re all gonna laugh at you!”
*flames ensue
Carrie reference i see what you did there.
@Teena Courtney "No tears for Molly"
ok but like carrie did went feral on those people tho
I thought it was amazing. Her desperation to be seen as "legit" drove her to such lengths, to feel like 'someone,' instead of part of the background.
A lot of people don’t know crying is an actual fetish? There’s even a name for it.
Seriously?
Drakophylia
@@elisabetecristina6188 Dacryphilia *
@@elisabetecristina6188 lol the prefix "Drako" is a typo for "Draco" which it means Dragon and philia means strange love, or obsession. Something tells me that's not it
Huh? Not really? What crazy shit. But I guess in 2020 nothing really surprises me anymore! 🤣
This was great! Alter is the kind of psychological thriller/horror I have been craving that's not gory. Thank you so much.
Same here!
i think the real horror isnt just in the manipulation of social media and how it drives you to do terrible things to yourself, but in the "mara, im 30... but we can find a way". that hit me like a ton of bricks bc if it wasnt creepy enough already, its also incredibly real... and so easy to skim past.
Disturbing metaphor... Great acting!
This has the elemants of Carrie in it, but yet this short film has much more truth to it. A very good watch. Keep up the excellant work!
@@lessliejohnson6932 true and a very unique way to portray the adult industry in a high school environment. Hats off for the makers!
Thanks so much, glad you both enjoyed!
@Brittany Menjivar well deserved for you both! And thank you for your replies 🙂
the way i couldn’t focus on the short cause duco was so fine-
Yeah I hated myself for doing that knoeing that he is bad but, damn he is dashing🤣
For real
Honestly
I didn't understand the reaction of the people at the prom. I mean...none of them reacted, no teachers were around... To be honest I would think it is an art project, or I would ask her if she is OK. I would never think like "oh she is payed for that".
I guess it was a bit hypercontectualised
Never trust anyone who responds to a text message with a phone call.
I feel like there’s a meaning behind this, almost like a deep, hidden thing that no one can find and probably never will. L for the tears love.
ALTER always produces great videos on youtube, hands down.
I just adore this moment when he tells her she wants to cast her and she's both happy and sad in the same moment. Jesus, it's so convincing. I could believe that that's how she got the role here
Literally got no tears left to cry. This was a good one 👍
lmao (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)
Got numb
@Brittany Menjivar Oh wow, you were the writer of this film? Fantastic job!
As someone who’s terrified that I won’t be able to make art that matters if I heal, this one is def sticking with me
Lapodbal. LA feraillyniouf
For a while I was so emotionally screwed up and on medications, it was impossible to cry and the absolute frustration you feel when you’re upset and can’t cry is unnerving
Psych meds…. That’s why I battle my BPD without prescription drugs…being so angry that you want to rip something to shreds and you can’t move or cry was a horror show within itself…I’ll never forgive myself for those medicines I put in my body. Thank God for MaryJane❤
Hope you’re doing better! 😊
It was so true to form that it was actually difficult to watch. Well written, with incredible acting.
Thank you so much!
Ms Stewart has a strong Shirley Manson vibe. Excellent acting job from this young lady.
Good short, strong work from all involved. Kudos!
Thanks for watching, glad you enjoyed!
@@akillianhammersley I'll definitely be looking forward to whatever you all come up with next! Separately and/or together.
That ended rather abruptly. Will this one get a part 2?
We agree, would love to see more! Spread the word about the film and follow the director Alison-Eve Hammersley for updates!
@@WatchALTER this one was shit.
@@Nina.VanRobiart Can you provide some specific aspects of the film that didn't work for you? Always curious to hear a variety of feedback.
@ALTER don’t listen to him just a hater, btw good video
@@chillerkiller5462 Agreed. I thought it was great, just left me wanting to see what happens next.
The prom scene…. The fact that she realised that he didn’t have the ability to cry was shocking!!! And also when she realised that he wasn’t a “movie director” terrified me. Love love loveeee this short horror film!!!
Good horror isn't necessarily scary, but uncomfortable. This captures that perfectly. Well done!
How does alter pump out all these and have them be CONSISTENTLY good?! Like they are always so interesting.
Honestly this is superb! Not only does it show how some times our money and fame make us do things like crying in front of screen but that sometimes we get to far into our minds that we forget and over react to the things that happen around us also the actor Carly Stewart is awesome! Thanks Alter!
Brilliant. No more left tears to cry.
And the message is so clear : Don't trust strangers.
I love how these vids start off so nice to the point where you forget its a horror film and it gets so so much scary
The method acting into being completely desensitized is completely relatable and that's the scariest part for me.
This is a pretty messed up movie, I like the message it sends though
You are here again
Damn you again
hehe hi
Yikes. Alter never fails to disturb. Well done!
The tearless end was waaayyy more painful. Exceptional work. Much to think about how we all need release. That one would be a cutter fast, burner, breaker. Career victim. How many of us are baited into self abuse right now in 2021 today?
I love this version of Carrie, with tears instead of blood.
I also love this version of female empowerment, twisted and complex and dark.
👍
@benjaminollis7621 Whatever you say, Benjy...
Has anyone else noticed the fact that there are two actors playing roles within the Vampire Diaries universe?
What?!? Who/where? I didn’t notice!
Hump Day Disturbia!
First she needs better friends, whoever thought your tears can be worth so much.
Thanks Alter
Thanks for watching! Decent friends always help and crying should be a last resort side hustle.
It’s about dominance. Sooner or later they demand more and more to get more and more thrills. These things are very dangerous. I know as I was apart of it as a heroin addict. There is some very very sick men out there who can and will find where you live and then demand whatever they want or threaten you- many girls had this happen: some had small kids some living w parents and all ashamed of how far it got and tried to keep it hidden. They never realize when you cam it opens a connection and they can easily swipe things from your devices. Young naive girls get involved and then trapped. It’s sad really.
@@amandaroman3471 Good Advise esp for younger generations . They use to say a Picture is worth a thousand words but THE INTERNET is Worth Thousands 😢 Also it's is a Lifetime of Embarrassment . This is a Good Short to Show your Kids a Causionary film since most are home for Covid 19.
@@amandaroman3471 I agree that noone should have to go through that.
Where I sign up? Think of my student loan debt and stock losses and just cry for $1000
dark web
Dont it will be worse than now. They can get access to your cameras. They can film you and blackmail you for it.
Wow, Carly Stewart is an amazing actress. Thanks for a brilliant movie Alter 💙
I’m a goth metalhead vampire but pretty conventional straight guy with no fetishes I can think of. It’s amazing what people are into. Not kink shaming just fascinating.
Physical pain doesn't cause as much tears as emotional pain. Emotional pain doesn't cause as much tears as onions.
Love the acting, storyline and cinematography!! Poor thing she had no tears left to cry. I got back sore and felt real pain in my heart watching it. 🥺
“No tears left to cry.”
Bruh, is there really a market for this cuz I can cry for days.
The way that her friends didn’t give a shit about her when she was obviously upset and on the verge of tears :(
The horrifying thing about this to me is that it reminds me of something that actually happened to me. When I was younger I had issues with selfharm and one time when I was in a hospital because of that there was another patient, a young man, noticing what was wrong with me. He told me it turned him on and that he'd like to have sex with me. He also wanted to see me do it and asked if he could see and touch the wounds/scars. I was lucky enough to be called to the doctors office at that moment and got away from this situation, I remember being completely overwhelmed and dizzy from drugs, therefore unable to defend myself or respond properly. I never saw him again. But after all this years it still sends chills down my spine.
Commodifying and monetizing everything is dehumanizing. We have sold our personal authenticity and are thus, starved for it.
that dude who put her on the screen like that going to the 7th circle of hell
i cant see anyone crying whenever someone cries, i feel bad and try my best to help them anyhow. this fetish is just weird.
as someone who knows how to cry at will super easily (it took some practice) I see this gig as an absolute win
*She took: “Blood, sweat and tears” to a whole another level.*
Karl marx movie about how society is even capitalizing tears
You don't understand Marxism. Check out the House of Rothschild.
If someone paid me for crying then I would be rich.
Can you add subtitles to most of these vids? I'm not a native speaker- it's hard to listen to your like, third language :/
Me too ....
Stupid having to guess what's happening
@Vasanthi
Lol... okay you too😄😄😄💚💚💚
Put on captions
Will RUclips not let you turn the Subtitles on?
This is absolutely the creepiest, most realistic, most moving, most... disturbing... "horror" movie I have ever seen... by far! WOW!!
I just KNEW this would be an amazing production based on the like/dislike ratio. Impressive work. Great acting, great storyline, settings, music, etc. Thank you!
FUNNY AND STUPIDEST JUDGE CASES. YOU CALL YOURSELF DOWN PAYMENT SO THEY RENT YOU NOT YOUR HOME? THAT'S FUNNY. PICK HIM UP. HA HA HA YOUR MOTHER AS YOUR DEFENDANT AND YOU ARE? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW I MOCK. HA HA HA THEY LAUGH.
@@franklinsannicolas2409 wtf
Really good! Really speaks to the idea of selling ones self to appeal to others and how in the end we've sold more than we thought we agreed to...
This is another "don't trust a pretty face" lesson. The devil is beautiful...he used to be God's favorite.
God bless you for you know your bible and the truth from the very mouth of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen!
yea
What a stellar film. Thank you for this, guys. Top tier acting, and stellar directing. You weaved the 80ies feel with the modern social media so well.
Aside from the great actors, this was beautifully done. It felt like an A24 film.
I want alter to have their own streaming service lol I'd not mind paying to watch full movies.
This is about the commercialization of emotion and how getting better is stigmatized while suffering for art is romanticized