The walk from "no" to "yes" | William Ury
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- www.ted.com William Ury, author of "Getting to Yes," offers an elegant, simple (but not easy) way to create agreement in even the most difficult situations -- from family conflict to, perhaps, the Middle East.
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“When angry you will make the best speech you will ever regret” facctts
It isn't difficult to understand his points or to recognize his sincerity--this man truly wants to get his ideas across, for the benefit of everyone.
I read in some of the comments that he should not have used religious examples--I agree, but it seems religion is the last piece of overweight armor that man needs to overcome. For all its benefits in forcing people to be moral, the power for us to become master of ourselves yields far greater benefits. I agree with this man that conflict can be resolved--mostly through understanding, empathy, and tolerance.
I talk about philosophical and societal topics that help us grow as people. I also made a video on religion and morality: how it is high time for us to overcome our own fear of understanding. All I want is for us to accept the truths of our humanity and of our reality for all that it is--the good and the bad. I want for us to become the truest humans possible; fully embracing our responsibilities. That is all, no more no less. Good day to everyone! :)
***** Well said.
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Dude, such a great comment.
The guru of negotiation. Worth listening to.
"From the Balcony" a great reference point. For those that have made negative comments about the story of Abraham & using a religious person as a focal point, missed the main point...The common denominator.
He does say treat negotiation with hospitality, or you could say, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." Making a point to find a common interest among the parties. What does that region value? Religion, first and foremost. Muslims, Jews & Christians all respect Abraham. Which brings a common perspective to the table & sets the groundwork for positive movement.
William was able to use stories to keep the audience involved and understanding. He used real-world scenarios to make his point. When said the secret to peace is us, it helped me realize that we can do more than we think if we stand together as a community and share common goals.
My Ury said, "It takes two sides to fight but a third to stop." There is real science and math behind this. Its called a mediating variable. In statistics, a variable that transmits the indirect effects of an independent variable or variables on a dependent variable. For example, the relationship between social support and exercise adherence could be mediated by motivation: social support leads people to be more motivated which in turn leads them to adhere to an exercise program.
What are your thoughts on Universal Basic Income?
German:
Viele Elfchen mit Stil
MEIN E-book, Andy Clausen
I have been with kurdish people, most of them practice this,,,they welcome people in the most amazing ways, such a friendly place,,,,good people...
The last time we did that in Afrika - Europeans colonized us , to this very day !!!
This is one of many conflict resolution of William Ury without these lessons the world would be a more terrible world
This was exactly the right guy to bring to the Russia/Chechnya talk.
The "Third Side" concept is even more powerful if you define it (and this works best among people who accept Jesus Christ as the authority on what is truth and right) as what we (or "us" as William says) believe Jesus would do in a given situation. My wife and I have used the "triangle analogy" in our marriage with great success. In a triangle you have two corners (sides) that are unique and different and opposing, but when both "sides" submit to the will of Christ (the 3rd Side or the corner at the top of the triangle), then the "two sides" (or opposing corners) move towards each other in a harmonious manner, or they go from a "hostility" as William says, to "hospitality." So the answer to peace is not a watered-down concept of "us" but lies in the God of Abraham, who is Jesus Christ. Abraham has a special understanding of the meaning of the Atonement as he was asked to and almost actually did sacrifice his son, Isaac. Walking "Abraham's Path" is to know Jesus Christ, and William Ury gets some inspiration from this prophet's life, but I suggest even more inspiration is available as you consider the letting Christ be the Third Side to any conflict, even if you are warring against yourself dealing with foibles.
Well, looks like you aren't walking through Allepo in 2016 :-(
A bit simplistic about the Middle East story. The basic story is that nothing was put in place from the start of the creation of the state of Isreal to make sure people could all benefit from coexisting, that they could benefit from living together, not simply take over, steal land and homes, build a wall and oblige the indigenous population to be lifetime refugees, or who live enclaved, little freedom of movement, with no jobs, in poverty with no development or a future.
Tl:dr version: be kind to others
Abraham is the same guy who almost killed his own son? Right? Just checking.
The key for terrorism is uninterference with the private affairs of your neighbors. If the jews were not forcibly planted in their current territory by oppressing the indigines - no conflict would ever happen. If Russia did not conquer Caucasus and did not threaten the nearby countries - no hatred would ever be toward it. Terrorism is basically the desperate attempt to confine the aggression with aggression. The bare diplomacy will not help settle the conflicts, justified by the policy of the people and the country. Only the political neutrality in regard to the neighbors can guarantee absence of aggression on their side.
Please explain Saudi terrorism then. Terrorism is simply a technique. Sometimes, a technique encouraged by idealogies that preach it is spiritually preferable.
I quite appreciate William Ury's focus on peaceful conflict resolution & his suggestion that we have the power to make peace happen. US politics have been focused on making war with the other side to the point where war-making is a growth industry. We can all opt out of that & opt into helping us all based on our interests.
how sad.. All those places You mentioned GAVE YOU the THIRD EYE on the spot.. Food hospitality and you were confused since ALL THOSE places had been targeted DECADES and still Extended hand and gave peace of their own last bread. how about third eye opener to start HERE.
I really enjoyed his way of sharing stories and some of his personal experiences dealing with conflict and trying to find the secret to peace. A story I enjoyed was about the Sun Bushmen, the hunters and gathers on how they would deal with their own conflict by sitting down and talking to one another. Additionally, how there is a third side to when there is a dispute between to other sides. One thing I learned is that the secret to peace is us, and that it is important that we stop fighting for a moment start talking because we may lose perspective.
You are a great resource to the whole world.
Uma mensagem para ser refletida e levada a serio.
Parabéns!!!
TED has changed my life, seriously there's something here or in the lifehack series for absolutely everyone!
Hostility to Hospitality.
Re-frame the way we look at things to get to that hospitality mindset.
Not easy but not impossible.
It takes strength to be courageous and endure and walk that hard road.
@Rimsh7 It's because RUclips lets commenters be anonymous, whereas TED.com makes everyone use their real name. It's amazing how much that single requirement gets rid of trolling.
The irony of this talk is that, if abraham had never existed, the conflict in the middle east would probably never have happened....
Really enjoyed the story in the beginning and the examples throughout the video. What was especially interesting was the story of walking the 'Path of Abraham.'
I loved the way he started with a story which was mind boggling...Great one!!
2015 ... Walking the path of Abraham. In Aleppo ? ... ???
feel spartan races promote the same thing. need to push for races in the middle east
Negotiation is not good remedy when we talk about the Middle east crisis.
The best way to root out terrorism in the Middle East is when the thief returns what he stole . Palestine is for the Palestinians
@naybobdenod there is only one commonality for human - natures laws. tangible laws common for ALL life, not just humanity. the anthropologist omits this because he maintains dominion, his conflicted view. WE deviated from nature via dominion, over each other and nature itself. drop dominion, id the sources of IT, the ones that hold us in conflict - quit feeding them -break away from that herd, (this mentality) then, Embrace THE Commonality. eliminate conflict when decisions are based in nature.
so much negativity...who is really watching these talks...you spend 20 min watching them and you don't get anything out of it? Why is going against the grain/ knocking people down more satisfying than actually supporting the movers and shakers of this world. THESE people that are at ted ARE the ones that are going to make a difference in the world in a POSITIVE way. everyone needs to check themselves befoe they wreck themselves yo!
I do not appreciate being given a lecture about Judaism and how the main message can solve the middle east issue by a man who is obviously biased in the conflict, refering to giving 'respect' to 'terrorists'. The main problem in the conflict is that Israel reffers to palestinians as 'terrorists' in the first place, at the same time occupying and settling on their land. I understand that in a universal context his message may apply, but my comment is directed at his obvious hypocrasy.
@fitobcnfito i partially agree with you, but come on... laurance of arabia?
your description fits the jewish people more than the arabs...
as an arab, to me - and lots of my people share my convection - the root of all evil is the states system.. the more you divide people to groups, the more susceptible to conflicts the system is
no states, no countries, no politicians/nasty-presidents/kings/prime ministers, free living based on mutual respect & cooperation=much better world.
Amazing. Watching this video from time to time, still far better than others in discussing unity issues. Thank you
abraham here, bible there, where he lost his point? where he lost what he is talking about? begining of this talk was awesome, i liked that story about 3 brothers, but i rly didnt needed to hear about some wierdos made some religious journey which had 0 symbolic value to other religions which are more common in middle east and he wanted to do something to unite them...
@samwisekayfizzle Hardly, Abraham's willingness to kill his only son is just as important as his other actions. It is useless promoting hospitality to strangers when you have a population that is thought that the celestial dictator and his ideology is above everything even family members at the same time. That attitude gave rise to the suicide bomber
It's now very annoying that whenever someone voluntarily watches a talk that doesn't pique their interest, they complain that the quality of the talks is going down. Get over yourselves, the point is to hear different ideas and perspectives, not just the one's that you agree with. There's too many of you psuedo-intellectuals out there. Just be quiet.
@bathetcnow oh thats bullshit, there are so many other commonalities across the vast majority of mankind. Love and the rest of human emotions, our biomechanics, our ability to reason, imagination and many other cognitive abilities... how can you say there is only one thing we have in common?????
@neoaeonian And instead of looking at how much money is in the system you might look at how much finance is in the system. 30% of GDP. How much brain drain, committed to institutions like Goldman Sachs where the more we get stories the more we learn the point is to get money and get out?
the definition he gives for the terrorism and the opposite of terrorism is awesome and commendable. Hats off to you William Ury
12:04 does anybody know if there is water inside of that roofed area in the center where the woman is sitting? (The Aleppo pic)
This is wasted time. I can't find anything inspiring nor interesting about this talk. There are no real solutions presentend, no information not already known, and I can't see why the comments left on ted.com are so for this video.
Amazing video; I especially like how he opened the video with a with story. It demonstrates how we deal with issues on a regular basis and how crucial negotiation skills are.
Really nice talk indeed, too bad that religion divides more than it unites the people...
The example of the woman is wrong....It was a man and the example of the life history that you are giving relates to the life of Hazrat Ali (AS) the cousin of Holy Prophet Muhammed (PBUH).......
how do you convince people who wants Israel erased from the map to walk with you in your Abraham's path? just asking.
@humanist7117 No on the contrary it is quite relevant. The ME is fucked up because people follow that example too. Instead you should say that you are being far too optimistic
Abraham is known for hospitality? o.O
I guess that's not out of touch with the nearly oxymoronic statements in abrahamic religion; Islam is peace, God is love, Jesus is forgiveness.
"The secret to peace is us". The secret to conflict is us in caps
So, why the title then? When does he explain the walk from no to yes? He just explains "the walk". This video was supposed to be about negotiation, not an Utopian belief.
There are plenty of brilliant people in the world, but this clown is not among them. I'm really starting to expect to be disappointed by TED talks these days.
@MomoTheBellyDancer wow! You completely missed the begining of his talk regarding conflict resolution. Dialogue like yours does nothing but dilute the situation, please take a minute and watch the intro again. The mideast is very religous and Abraham is a central figure that unites them. This guy isnt just some feel good yuppie, he has been a mediator in national negotiations for many many years.
whats the point of maintaining he worlds largest army when all a country neads to destroy the US is to call in all the money he US owes it....
Negotiation is a wonderful thing, and so is making peace. But when it comes to the Middle East, no negotiation will change the future that God has decreed for that land. Sometimes conflict cannot be avoided. Jesus himself promised that up until the very end, there will be "wars and rumors of wars".
@Zotov13 I noticed the same thing about his eyes & even his mannerisms...He gives off a peaceful vibe even through video.
From terrorism to tourism?????
I can't even comment on this load of bollocks.
Hello Mr Williams the way we deal with each other is by starting by telling the truth, you have given very good talk and it is full of wisdom; however when you give your talk you need to stop impressing your audience with you plagiarism stories and who you credit, the story of the camel is from the 4th Caliphate of Islam Imam Ali, not the old lady, may be you and your followers might say the point is made and lesson learned from it, The bushman is more civilized in human aspect and their language more deeper than dealing with conflict they they don't deal with in in concede ration of what is at stake but what is the root cause, the Chechen are still getting mas and read the article "pity the Chechen" NY times. They are getting killed in the name of war on terror, In fact their oppression is getting worse than The Palestinian. sorry to say you area full of it. one thing you have is you talk like a miracle maker, eloquent ... you are speaking to a people who only know one world not the rest of the world. until I come and tell the truth you enjoy entertaining these sheep.
I'm not religious at all, but that story choked me up. Beautiful.
@aaser018 Is the Catholic church a force for good in the world?
"ruclips.net/video/0kuzYwzGoXw/видео.html&feature=related"
What a great insight. Thank You William and Ted.
@neoaeonian Also, obviously Americans have no reason to resent current policy, with real unemployment at 20%.
William Ury = Real-life Picard
The problem with his argument is that people are so different. I personally did not agree with his interpretation of what the story of Abraham "stands for." He assumes that all would agree that it's about hospitality. But humans can and do disagree on ANYTHING. Finding a common story will be difficult. Even if we say "do it for the kids" people will have different ideas about what's good for their kids. They may think it means killing people who have different values.
Ury , as a jew , should try and convince the jewish gouvernement of ISRAEL to listen to him
Stopped listening shortly after he started talking about Abraham. Last thing we need is more religion.
that's what we really need, AWESOME!
The middle east would be a lot better if the off if the U.S. got out.
I really enjoyed his story from the African tribe where they put away all weapons and sit down to talk to reach a solution. They do not stop talking until a resolution is met and if someone does not agree with the group and are still upset, they are sent to be with family until they find peace. If everyone in the World followed this method instead of fighting, war and destruction, we would all be living in harmony. We can learn a lot from deciding to choose a third side in conflicts. If we can assist others on complete opposite ends of an argument with a fresh perspective then maybe we can find greater peace than conflict in many areas. He also mentions the story where he was the mediator and found himself getting verbally attacked. He then stayed calm and redirected the conversation back to the main point. If we find a mediator to help us in conflict, the third side, we may be able to reach greater solutions.
Arriana Roehl
MGMT 4300-70
having worked in television graphics and having to deal with producers and directors who can't make their minds up and basically have no qualms about wasting one's life, i found one answer is to say "i can make all the changes you want, but i need you to sit next to me until it's done", suddenly they let you go home and pick up the next day.
I usually enjoy TedTalks. What this guy says about Middle East does not make much sense!
*snaps snaps all around. At the end of the day it is all about ourselves and what we can do for our community that will bring peace into our lives. If we just take the time to get to know others there would probably be less hatred and confusion. Also, if a conflict arises just take a step back, take a break, or have fresh eyes/ears in order to come into an agreement between all parties. Great Ted Talk brb I need to do the Ted Walk, haha.
The peace on the Abraham's Path was disrupted very hardly just after this peaceful speech and still broken. Is it interesting?
okay sounds good. Now do Palestine
Like the "Trail of Tears!" the act of any religious forwardness is a method that doesn't work for those individuals! The "God" use needs to be stopped! Doesn't matter what God, Stop it!
How to properly negotiate is explained and expressed eloquently. Thumbs up to Mr. Ury for that. However, part of Middle, Africa, and Asia still remain in conflict. I will use his lesson in my businesses.
i really like the idea of the 3rd side. i have trouble talking to my dad about the present war on terrorism - as, where he perceives 'baddies' i perceive victims. but perhaps if i take the 3rd side it will not seem as though the only path is to an argument.
I love TED talks... the intellect of these individuals amazes me
Excellent lecture.
A collaborative way can bring nations together.
i clicked "like" and "favorite" as soon as he said "we're all one family"
@hawlybawls
It is not a fail, I didn't say it existed and I didn't say it doesn't exist, what I'm saying is people made easy assumptions without any prove......
@tcorp No, he picked the symbolic father of both peoples. A common ground to start from. A reminder that, fundamentally, they are the same.
@naybobdenod
Lets "Pray" for the spread of common sense.
All I can hope is that along with the constant spreading of technology over the planet, so too will there be a worldwide spread of knowledge, logic and reason.
His view of human relations is too simplistic. The assumption that there is a common "third side" on which everyone else not immersed in the conflict agrees upon is utter bullshit. When these people actually give a shit, given their varied experiences and bias they will inevitably sprout hundreds of different takes on the issue, most of which lean on one side or the other. People who sit on the fence are pretenders to wisdom who prioritize pleasing people than finding real solutions.
@neoaeonian Well, everyone has their position on that. The Keynesians were screaming the money was far from enough, and the government failed to regulated what the banks did with what money they got. It may just have been a failure of imagination on their part, but still, simple just-in-case regulation shouldn't be that hard to institute. The idea is that the cost of living climbs nowhere near as fast as the increased likelihood of loans. Corruption = obvious regulation, solutions are avaliable.
@amulware I am saying that i am surprised that people seem to be going past religion on this... not sure i follow what I was concluded. Look at the TED talks on kiva, and how the comments. It is a flame war on how she was a christian. Maybe I just don't understand the difference. One helps becuase of God (which is bad), but the one who wants to help based on a story of the bible, then it is good? maybe you can explain why people hate one over the other.
- - - friends yes and no are different sides of the same coin - - - at least to me - - - ok there is a third side too - - - good lesson learnt - - - friends are we following the third side ? - - - never mind if we have failed in the past - - - let us give the third side a chance - - - please - - -
@ssflip Yeah.,... I did kinda generalize the whole of the people based on a fraction of the population....
I deeply apologize for that...
What fascinates me is the level of cynicism that pervades these comments. What he mentions is playing a constructive role. People walking together may not seem to solve anything.
Now look at what Jesus, Abraham, Buddha, Muhammad, and others did. They walked and communicated and shared their humanity, and they changed the world.
Who you are being in this moment will determine the future of Peace in the world..
@raby760 Again, he is talking about a "start" not as an all encompassing solution. I totally agree with you about Abraham but lets face the facts these people are a century or more away from abandoning their iconic religious leader. NOTHING has worked over there so I am open to anything to "start" trying to get folks together. If only the Palestinians would use a peaceful approach like Ghandi or Martin Luther King then the world & the USA would quickly turn against Israel! IMHO anyway.
@kiddhitta Did you purposefully missed the point that in that particular case, geogrpahy, culture and yes Religiuos belief is what unites them? It about negotiation and finding common ground. If you go to that region to preach them about how their religion is wrong you might as well just stay home. It's about NEGOTIATION, not religion! it just HAPPENS to be the common ground in that particular case.
@ToSho29 i know, i'm just saying, the problem is not that 17 doesn't divide by 2 or 3 or 9 but that the will lives out 1/18 of the camels. say that it wasn't camels but something dividable, say 17 kg of gold, the first brother gets 8.5kg the second ~5.66kg and the last ~1.88kg all together ~16.05kg and that's w/o the wise woman's contribution so where does the remaining 0.95kg go?
@57beachbum That's not the idea of America. The idea of America is that individuals have natural rights to life, liberty and property, and that govts do not have infinite power to violate those rights, but instead exist only to defend those rights.
And by the way, under free markets the rich do get much richer, but they can only do this while improving the lives of the poor. This is why the poor are nearly always worse off under greater govt control.
What is not "common" in MidEast, is USA and Israel: the root to all international conflict, is the presence of those 2 in a land it's not theirs. As per local conflict, Arabs have been fighting each other for ever through history (look Laurence of Arabia if you want and easy to digest reference, it's pretty accurate in some ways, and what happens when Brits move out: that Arabs do not get along, they are only united when they have a common enemy, so they end up with a big mess onze left alone)
Great story in the beginning to catch the audience's attention and great examples in the whole speech especially the terrorism example.
@BelipeF it had nothing to do with what HE was talking about. it was a reply to another persons comment. im quite aware what he is talking about. but what the person said was about all the negativty towards religion. and i explain why.
I'm an atheist but I don't disagree with attempts at peacemaking that engage religion. Peace talks that try to completely ignore religion while in the Middle East is already handicapped when the common language of religion is already in place.
@frilink
Belief in a "higher power" isn't an ability, it's a disease of mind. Belief in a "higher power" causes all kinds of destructive behavior, and is a huge problem in a vast amount of populated areas.
I agree with you Drinfidel, it's a great idea and nice pretty picture but the practicality that this will happen is low.
Side note: Why the HELL do people have to post "First" on every video? How lame is this hobby
It's weird. He's essentially telling us, when faced with conflict, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. But i think many like this video... simply due to the delivery. he speaks quite well, the words he uses are good to... mm...
@Ko252 I heard the guy talk. We're not even allowed to come near Mecca as infidels and can't complete our walk. And then how many spider webs do you need to stop a tiger? I just don't see this work ever.