What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED

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  • Опубликовано: 5 янв 2017
  • Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the process, discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.
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Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @bluethan806
    @bluethan806 4 года назад +5668

    6 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from rejection
    30 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from acceptance

    • @jesuslovesyou7130
      @jesuslovesyou7130 3 года назад +198

      Naruto Uzumaki

    • @jul29919
      @jul29919 3 года назад +80

      full circle

    • @E--Drop
      @E--Drop 2 года назад +60

      .....@Ethan Micallef *Underrated comment*
      .............@@jesuslovesyou7130​ *Underrated reply*

    • @natskii7026
      @natskii7026 2 года назад +67

      And he spends the next 10 years to overcome his fear of acceptance

    • @the-based-jew6872
      @the-based-jew6872 2 года назад +13

      Acceptance but no woman.
      'what a nice guy' they say. 🤗

  • @sevenaries
    @sevenaries 2 года назад +6983

    "Never reject yourself before they reject you"
    - Me 2021

    • @Noukz37
      @Noukz37 2 года назад +271

      "If they reject you, just eject them"
      - Me 2021

    • @fabrizio9818
      @fabrizio9818 2 года назад +100

      "Never ask who I am or what my name is, don't even say it."
      - Mama, Joe. (1942 - 1969)

    • @virgilebonnaud5525
      @virgilebonnaud5525 2 года назад +7

      @@fabrizio9818 ok Mike

    • @normalbuerger
      @normalbuerger 2 года назад +8

      So many people just don't let others get to know them. Instead they present a list of all the (assumed) reasons to not like them at the very first encounter 🙄 I hear people refer to “humility/modesty” a lot these days, almost inflationary - this is certainly not what it means, though

    • @bobbybecker7348
      @bobbybecker7348 2 года назад +4

      Such a good way to put it

  • @maii.8338
    @maii.8338 2 года назад +870

    "Most successful people do not let rejection define them. They let their reaction to rejection define themselves." Amazing TEDTalk!

    • @someidk6996
      @someidk6996 Год назад

      How can i copy this

    • @justindifeliciantonio5140
      @justindifeliciantonio5140 Год назад +1

      It’s not “reaction” but conscious response. If you’re afraid of rejection and you react to it, you’ll just keep running in a variety of ways (which isn’t always running away, it could just mean being more clever in how you get the other person to say yes, because it still defines as a person whether they say yes.)

    • @Joe-ew5zq
      @Joe-ew5zq 5 месяцев назад

      insightful

  • @grepgrok8735
    @grepgrok8735 10 месяцев назад +294

    1. Don't run. Stay engaged.
    2. Ask "Why?"
    3. Relate to their emotions and mentions their doubts
    4. Just ask for what you want
    5. Embrace rejection

    • @aj7cool7
      @aj7cool7 3 месяца назад +4

      Beautiful summary

    • @kevinskywalker52
      @kevinskywalker52 Месяц назад

      Easier said than done, but really nice summary.

  • @Mr.Chick3n
    @Mr.Chick3n 7 лет назад +6043

    wow I just asked a girl out she turned me down and this was the first video in my suggestion feed. thanks RUclips.

    • @KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN
      @KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN 5 лет назад +163

      Hi M
      r. Chicken, did you ask her why she said no? Little known fact about getting a yes for a date...you have to ask with specifics ..ask her "may I take you to ( specific place) on ( specific day) at (exact time)? ". Once that person has more specifics you are more likely to be offering something that the person wants and lessens their doubt.

    • @snowframe2995
      @snowframe2995 5 лет назад +104

      @@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN I did exactly that, I asked a girl "Hey, I'm going to see a movie on Thursday with a friend at 12:40, would you like to come?" (I texted her this)
      She said no, so I asked if she is free saturday, she said she is busy working.
      I'll give it a week, then ask more broadly, something like "Hey, would you be interested in hanging out somewhere, on the holidays?", so she can't go "sorry, im busy the whole holidays". (Face to face)

    • @jokdaris
      @jokdaris 5 лет назад +20

      @@snowframe2995 Hey, how did it go? :)

    • @snowframe2995
      @snowframe2995 5 лет назад +68

      jokdaris no luck :p

    • @keithreinking6670
      @keithreinking6670 4 года назад +91

      @@KKKKAAAARRRRYYYYNN you may get a yes that way if its something she wants to do , but if she isn't attracted to him which she clearly already decided. Then he is better off this way , instead of wasting time and money on her he can find a girl that is attracted to him .
      Hint , use your money to buy a Gym membership and work out , everyone Male and female is attracted to people l.j e that are inshape.

  • @nicedog1
    @nicedog1 6 лет назад +9013

    Rejection hurts because it makes us doubt ourselves but the worst thing is ‘inaction’. As long as you are moving forward, you are doing ok.

    • @aungar2403
      @aungar2403 5 лет назад +35

      My Dad's words to me. Golden!

    • @jamesrussell2936
      @jamesrussell2936 5 лет назад +35

      I _loath_ inaction.

    • @80americarlos
      @80americarlos 4 года назад +4

      nicedog1 exactly. I totally agree. Perseverance!

    • @80americarlos
      @80americarlos 4 года назад +5

      nicedog1 mind if I use your quote?
      And how did you receive your understanding of “Rejection”?
      -it is true.

    • @colejackson9415
      @colejackson9415 4 года назад +2

      so fucking true

  • @JinjiSayson
    @JinjiSayson 2 года назад +1169

    Please also take note of this lesson he imparted: “And then, I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.” That is an underrated statement. Learning how to advocate for yourself, because you know you deserve the best is a very important life skill.

    • @knifeyonline
      @knifeyonline 2 года назад +4

      That's not advocating for yourself. Advocating for yourself is convincing people of your worth, not getting stuff while also being worthless. Everybody has something to contribute, not enough people actually contribute.

    • @gennarorusso9959
      @gennarorusso9959 2 года назад +18

      @@knifeyonline the key point is that he advocated for himself while also really trying to give his best. You can see it pretty clearly in the videos he posted: in the doughnut one he asks expecting a "no" and was caught by surprise when the cashier actually helped him. That probably helped him a lot to see his goal: not asking absurd requests and doing nothing about it but asking weird questions and backing his requests with his own capabilities. Like what happened with the lesson in University, where he came prepared with Powerpoints and everything. I hope I explained myself as English is not my first language.

    • @knifeyonline
      @knifeyonline 2 года назад +7

      @@gennarorusso9959 I was replying to the comment and not the video. "You deserve the best" is bullshit losers say to themselves and become jealous of everybody else. The truth is, you deserve whatever you earn, and it's based on how much effort you put in. If you think "You deserve the best" by default, then why even work? You should just be given everything for free if you deserve the best.

    • @gennarorusso9959
      @gennarorusso9959 2 года назад +5

      @@knifeyonline I didn't say otherwise. "You deserve the best" shouldn't be the same as "I should get whatever I want without proving myself".

    • @knifeyonline
      @knifeyonline 2 года назад +2

      @@gennarorusso9959 the best means it's something better than everybody else gets or has gotten. Everybody can't have the best, if everybody had it then it would be average... the average is never the best by definition.

  • @kagom3
    @kagom3 Год назад +110

    Rejection is often a “chance” in disguise.
    I got rejected by a coffee shop I applied to, 3 months later I got a job as a staff writer in a newspaper company.
    My ex-boyfriend fed me with constant rejection, I left him and found my current bf-who’s the total opposite of my ex.
    Sometimes all we have to do is accept that there are things in this world that is just *not for us*. Leave the close doors closed, let other doors open.

    • @megancutshaw8852
      @megancutshaw8852 Год назад

      Congrats!!! I love your viewpoint. May I ask how you landed the job as a newspaper writer? Did you have a portfolio of writing or how did they select you? I’m asking because I’d love to do similar.

  • @elleste886
    @elleste886 6 лет назад +4460

    if burger refill becomes a thing, it's because of this guy

    • @CellGames2006
      @CellGames2006 5 лет назад +22

      Howard Schultz might put greeters at his Starbucks just to speed up his 2020 campaign... that 5 million views sounds hot.

    • @computerbiscuit
      @computerbiscuit 4 года назад +3

      I peed a little lol

    • @31Sparrow
      @31Sparrow 4 года назад +2

      bottomless burger refills plz

    • @nwilt7114
      @nwilt7114 4 года назад +4

      I'll take one hamburger and gladly pay you on Tuesday.

    • @marzipancutter8144
      @marzipancutter8144 4 года назад +2

      All you can eat buffets are a thing.
      Thank you Jia I guess.

  • @traveel9409
    @traveel9409 4 года назад +2490

    “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
    -Michael Scott

  • @727Joshy
    @727Joshy Год назад +276

    “When you get rejected in life , when you’re facing the next obstacle or failure , consider the possibilities - don’t run. If you just embrace them , they might become your gifts as well.”
    - Jia Jiang

    • @stalincat2457
      @stalincat2457 8 месяцев назад +2

      I embraced the rejection and got the gift of a restraining order 👍

  • @LauraGammack
    @LauraGammack Год назад +294

    That was a fantastic use of 15 mins of my time. This guy is funny, inspirational, and I needed that. Feeling so rejected lately and have been forgetting to see it as opportunity for growth.

  • @sushantmanandhar1387
    @sushantmanandhar1387 4 года назад +9298

    Jia: Can I do a Ted talk about being rejected?
    Ted: Sure thing bro
    Jia: (wtf dude you're supposed to say no)

    • @JDFrates
      @JDFrates 4 года назад +81

      Sushant Manandhar classic Ted

    • @everangelist
      @everangelist 4 года назад +373

      His rejection got rejected!

    • @oreoflores7204
      @oreoflores7204 4 года назад +74

      @@everangelist I think that's what you call rock bottom?

    • @bigperm5027
      @bigperm5027 4 года назад +6

      😂😂😂😂

    • @tonywalker1954
      @tonywalker1954 4 года назад +2

      @@oreoflores7204 😂😂😂😂

  • @Ajithkumarm107
    @Ajithkumarm107 5 лет назад +4363

    Rejected Continuously in 28 interviews....just to be a Software Developer in 29th Interview..Happy that I didn't Give Up...

    • @LorenzoMarch
      @LorenzoMarch 5 лет назад +54

      hope its going well

    • @MisterE1976
      @MisterE1976 5 лет назад +63

      Sweet,man. Congratulations. 😀

    • @jamisonhenry5490
      @jamisonhenry5490 5 лет назад +29

      Great job, now keep working it’s only the beginning

    • @rogerrabbit2902
      @rogerrabbit2902 4 года назад +33

      holy pearl. top class, son. this is the positive stuff we need to read

    • @sfatima6380
      @sfatima6380 4 года назад +3

      👏👏👏

  • @val3rystar885
    @val3rystar885 2 года назад +496

    This talk is so amazing! I laughed the entire time but then I cried at the end because I realized how much Ive let my fear of rejection control my life. I felt overwhelmed thinking of the instances Ive let my fear stop me from chasing my dreams. I intend to take back control of my life. Thank you for this life changing talk!

    • @maxpayne4129
      @maxpayne4129 2 года назад +5

      You can do it 💪💯🔥🔥🔥

    • @louismarhookperuvwe4391
      @louismarhookperuvwe4391 2 года назад +4

      You can!!!!!!

    • @maxpayne4129
      @maxpayne4129 2 года назад

      @Five o’clock pervert Honestly I thought the same but if it motivates people that's cool

    • @user-kw9rb2bg4y
      @user-kw9rb2bg4y 2 года назад

      I feel you! Been there and still are I think, but we are improving :)

    • @maxpayne4129
      @maxpayne4129 2 года назад

      @Five o’clock pervert facts

  • @jerodapidap4944
    @jerodapidap4944 7 лет назад +1783

    I like how he turned a serious matter in life into humor

    • @JulyFourth1776
      @JulyFourth1776 5 лет назад +42

      Necessary public speech skills in order to attract the audience's attention.

    • @TheMarkoPoloProgram
      @TheMarkoPoloProgram 5 лет назад +25

      That’s how many comedians work.

    • @soioioioioioio34
      @soioioioioioio34 4 года назад +8

      well it is stand up comedy

    • @user-dz3ne3qf3i
      @user-dz3ne3qf3i 2 года назад

      @@JulyFourth1776 esssssssgssssgfsesgssxsss dog cc hahahagggxssxxf gg g GG ha ffgsgg gf ggxxcg gf g GG ggfgggxgxggh gg ggshggsgxsxgxggfxh ha ggsgcgsffgscggfgsg GG ggfgggxgxggh gfgfghfssggggghgwchfhhfs gc hcfhxgcsghhshghgg gg fhfghfgfhhfhhfhhgsgggggfhggghgghhfcgghfhhhhfhcghhhhhghgffhhhhgcgshhfhghhhghhhhhchhgffgggghhhhhghhhghghhhfhhghhghxhhhhhchhxfgfghhhhfhhhhhchhhfhhhhfghhhhfhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhgfhhfhhhghfhcggggggghffhgggghghghggghghghghhhfhghgfhhgfhcghghhhhhhhhchhhhhgsghhgfhhghhgghhhhcxhhhhhfhghhhhhxhhhhghfhhhhhgghxhhhhhfhhhhfhhhhhhhhfhhgfhhggghhhwfhfhfhhhhhffghhhgfgfgghfhhhhhhhhhhhhghhxghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhfhfgfhhfhhhhhhhhhfchhhffhhhchhhhxhfhhfhhhhhhhgfhhhghhfhxhhchhhhhchhhhgfhcchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhgfgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhgghhghhgghhhghhghhhfhghhhhhhhhhchfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhgghhhhhhhhchhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhfhhhgfhhhhhhhhhhffhhchhhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgfgchhhfhhhhhchhhhhchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhfchhhhhhhhhhhhxfchhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhghfhfhhhfhhhfhhhhfhhhhhhihhhchhhhhfhhhhhfhihhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhfhhfhhhhhhhchhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwchhgfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhchhhhhifhhhgfhhhhhhhfghhghhhhhhhhhhhihhhhghhhhhhhhhhhshhhhhshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhihhhhhhhgh8hhhshhhhhhhhhhhhchhhhhhhhhhfhhhhhhhhfçhihfhhhhhhhhhehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhchçhiih8hhhhçchhhhhhhihiffhhhhçhhhhhhhhhifh8hhhhhhhfiihhhihii8çfhiiiihiihicihhhiihiihhifh8hi8hihhhhhhçhcfçchhhhhihhhhfhhccçhfchhicfiffçfffcch8ffhfhihhhhhhiccçehçcgiffchhhfhfhhhhffhiççfcccfhhhhhhhhfffhçhcçhiççiçhhhchihhchfffhfffcchifcccccccccffccçchhhhcccchcccccfcfiifffhifccchçccccfffffihhçcccffcccffffcfffffhffcifffccçfccffcçhffffchffcccffcfhfcciiccccfiificiccchhffccccciffffihhhhffccccciccf8cçfcfccffchhhhçffccccccccciccfhfffcchhcfcchccccfcccicchhchccccfcfcffccchcc8ffffccccccchccfchchiifccccucchfcccccffffffffchcfcccccffffichhhccccccfffffhhffcccchccccccccccicccfifçhccchicchcccccffccccccffifhfchfffcchfqcccçccchçccfffffhfffccciiicihhcccccccccfhccfffcccccfçfccçhccccfffcccccfffffcffffhihcfcfffcfcccccccccccfcccccffccccffccccifhfccccifficgfffffffcccccccfcifcfhhhhhfchfcccfffccffiuccffffffhfchfhiiffffffcfffccfcccccccccccchhfhffciffffffffccccccfcccccccccccffcciccccccccccichcffhfcicicccccicccccccffcccccccccccccfffccffuçcgccicffifffcfccccffifcffffffffffffcifcifffhfffcccccccccccccccfgccccccccccccccciuicccccccccccchchfcfccccchchffffcccccffffccccccccccfffcccccffffffcfcccccfccfccchfffffffficccffcccifffffffcccfccccccccccfffffccccccccccccçcfcffcccfcccccccc gccccccccccffffffffffffhfhf hfiiccchcfhfcffhhhhhhfffhffccffccccffffffcccccffcccccccccchffcicccccfciccicffffcgfffcfccccccffccfffccfcfifffciiccccccffficccchcccffcfffffccccfchffiffcicccchfficcccihcccc chcufhfhhcfhcchccçcfcffiffccfcicccccccccccccfccfffcccccccccccccccccccfffcfcccffffcffccffccccccfcffffffcfcfffcffhffffcccccccccccfcffhhiifffcffffiffffcccccicccfcfccccccccccccffccfcc

    • @user-dz3ne3qf3i
      @user-dz3ne3qf3i 2 года назад

      @@TheMarkoPoloProgram ccfhffhifffccfccfffcfcccccccfffucccccccccfucccccccciccccchcfffhffcciiccccccccfcfcfccfccccccfccccccicccccccffhcchifhccccccccfhccocfffff gccfcffcfffc

  • @caifancabr0n699
    @caifancabr0n699 7 лет назад +2232

    This was a fucking amazing TED talk

    • @pinkgoergefloyd8340
      @pinkgoergefloyd8340 7 лет назад +3

      14:33 say it don't spray it

    • @tharunjain9683
      @tharunjain9683 7 лет назад +2

      Carlos Reyes I truly agree man life is changing

    • @KindaKiki
      @KindaKiki 7 лет назад +1

      Tharun Jain OZILLL

    • @shiwalogo2
      @shiwalogo2 7 лет назад +28

      i agree, this was a GREAT talk

    • @FlaggingAwesome
      @FlaggingAwesome 7 лет назад +2

      Carlos Reyes Absolutely. Best thing I've seen in a while!

  • @tchaffman
    @tchaffman 2 года назад +40

    ​​It’s one thing to celebrate your successes. It’s another thing entirely to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Often that uncomfortable zone is where you find the most profound growth.

  • @christiansookdeo8306
    @christiansookdeo8306 2 года назад +34

    For all my sales people out there: “Rejection” doesn’t become rejection once you’ve gotten over that fear. It turns from an emotional reaction to a logical pathway to success. Finding the true root of the concern, nothing to do with you personally.

  • @GhostToLane
    @GhostToLane 2 года назад +4573

    Im gonna ask for a burger refill at every burger place now. Thank you

    • @toalhousecokey25
      @toalhousecokey25 2 года назад +85

      Then you get a bill for the burger refill!

    • @HassanAhmed-rf9xr
      @HassanAhmed-rf9xr 2 года назад +44

      @@toalhousecokey25 then you run (the only time the ted talker would allow it...)

    • @lokyinphotography
      @lokyinphotography 2 года назад +19

      Remember to ask why

    • @rz.r705
      @rz.r705 2 года назад +3

      got me laughing men

    • @Darkness1071
      @Darkness1071 2 года назад +11

      Take the wrapper and lay it flat on the counter when you ask 😆

  • @jonathancheng8906
    @jonathancheng8906 7 лет назад +1606

    Last five minutes of the talk, i can't help thinking: "Did you ask TED to let you give a speech?"

  • @jher699
    @jher699 10 месяцев назад +21

    “The people who really change the world. Who change the way we live and the way we think are the people who were often met with rejection. “
    -jia jiang

  • @partygirl5698
    @partygirl5698 11 месяцев назад +33

    Some of the fastest 15 minutes I've ever spent. Everything was so heartfelt, relatable, and real. This was amazing and exactly what I needed to see.

  • @tommyfunn
    @tommyfunn 7 лет назад +5032

    I'll never forget being 8 yrs old in the drive-thru w/ my dad telling me that rejection is nothing to be afraid of (he IS an amazing salesperson), and then proving it by asking for a FREE large order of fries at the drive-thru speaker at McDonalds. He joked with the cashier for a second, then asked again. She laughed and said "I don't think that's possible," and my father said, "We would love it if you could do it!" and pulled forward.
    What do ya know...the girl hands us our order. NO fries. Then she turns to grab something else...THE BIGGEST BAG OF FRENCH FRIES I'VE EVER SEEN. It was. an. entire. bag. of. fries. All these employees start laughing. My face must have lit up. To this DAY, I've never seen that many french fries at one time. These people EMPTIED the stockroom to make this thing. Laughter abounds. A lesson learned...
    And somewhere, a lost french fry rests silently beneath the seat of an '88 Ford Taurus...
    AWESOME VID!

    • @tkomla
      @tkomla 5 лет назад +150

      Awesome comment! Thanks for that story 😊💜

    • @tankolad
      @tankolad 5 лет назад +141

      You have such a great father. Lucky guy :)

    • @itsot12
      @itsot12 5 лет назад +78

      That's beautiful.

    • @velvetdeyla1265
      @velvetdeyla1265 5 лет назад +71

      Lead by exemple! Your father got it ;) what a good exemple to you!

    • @888merry
      @888merry 5 лет назад +12

      Love it! Thanks for sharing.

  • @enshisin
    @enshisin 4 года назад +2029

    After her graduation ceremony at school, my daughter wanted to have a nice dinner at a famous restaurant. When we walked in, the waiter told us that the restaurant was fully book and asked us to come back the nextday and made a reservation first.
    We walked out of the door . Then I remembered something. I walked in again and asked the waiter while pointing at a reserved table : ‘when are the guests supposed to show up?’ In one hour.
    So i gave him an offer : if he can prepare the food in 15 minutes, we would dine and got out of there in 30 minutes. He thought for a minute and we had our dinner there.
    On the way out my wife asked me how I managed to do that. Without turning my head, I said : ‘I watched this stupid video by a guy named Jia on RUclips and gave it a shot...........’

    • @orangeshoes
      @orangeshoes 3 года назад +78

      :))) Made me happy

    • @hvyi6425
      @hvyi6425 3 года назад +187

      lol! only thing is that this isn’t a stupid video :D

    • @seaweed6668
      @seaweed6668 3 года назад +9

      Nice try mate

    • @suetucker9264
      @suetucker9264 3 года назад +82

      Only, it's NOT a stupid video! It works!

    • @selenaramoutar7158
      @selenaramoutar7158 2 года назад +85

      Love this. Except your choice of the word "stupid". Cmon man this one "stupid" video got you and yo fam some fancy food at a fancy restaurant. :)

  • @GurleenKaur-tr8ry
    @GurleenKaur-tr8ry 2 года назад +25

    The only bad thing about this talk is that it ends :(

  • @user-ll5vv7rv9p
    @user-ll5vv7rv9p 2 года назад +20

    He looks like he still struggles a little with self confidence but in the end he still managed to show this incredible lesson and just watching it makes me inspirational. This guy rocks!

    • @JohnDoeL337
      @JohnDoeL337 10 месяцев назад +18

      He gave a TED talk... man
      He s a step ahead most of us...

  • @KellyWakasa
    @KellyWakasa 3 года назад +9831

    wow i've watched a lot of ted talks and this is my favorite one. he's so genuine, his story is so relatable and i want a burger refill

    • @guillecobo_
      @guillecobo_ 3 года назад +75

      Kelly you the man bro

    • @saarthshah
      @saarthshah 3 года назад +53

      Damn, Kelly taking up intellectual content.

    • @andywr.097
      @andywr.097 3 года назад +2

      always me last

    • @andy_v_n5893
      @andy_v_n5893 3 года назад +16

      Kelly watched smart videoss????

    • @cristian-mw7ol
      @cristian-mw7ol 3 года назад +3

      kelly, I love your videos man

  • @georgehiggins1320
    @georgehiggins1320 2 года назад +2798

    This is possibly one of the most inspiring ted talks I've ever seen.

    • @icecreamforcrowhurst
      @icecreamforcrowhurst 2 года назад +1

      Is that you, Bob?

    • @georgehiggins1320
      @georgehiggins1320 2 года назад +1

      @@icecreamforcrowhurst Tis I

    • @HassanAhmed-rf9xr
      @HassanAhmed-rf9xr 2 года назад +3

      the best one ever i was so hooked kept on repeating some words .... didnt think so many would agree with me

    • @blessed7fold
      @blessed7fold 2 года назад +1

      100% Agreed.

    • @JosiahFickinger
      @JosiahFickinger 2 года назад +2

      It's probably because it's a very relevant problem, and he has very good teaching skills.

  • @PewPewFreedom
    @PewPewFreedom Месяц назад +3

    This is one of my favorite TED talks of all time. The idea of fear of rejection maybe simple on the surface but it's a prevalent issue for many. I also read Jia's book and his insights gained from his rejection experiment are important lessons. My favorite two are most rejections are not personal and rejection is merely a numbers game. The book is a mix of scientific research and personal experiences.

  • @tusharpardeshi2115
    @tusharpardeshi2115 2 года назад +117

    One of the nicest and very engaging TEDx talks I've heard recently. The way he uses those anecdotes to drive home his point is absolutely brilliant. I'm positive that many people will find this talk helpful.

  • @natsun9479
    @natsun9479 7 лет назад +757

    "Sometimes you can even get rejected by lighting" LOOOL

  • @JW-qd3ol
    @JW-qd3ol 2 года назад +1625

    damn this guy really made a career out of being rejected.
    he needs to go talk to all the simps in the e-girls twitch chats.

  • @woofelix8138
    @woofelix8138 Год назад +10

    As a Chinese saying goes, "As long as you don't feel embarrased, it is for others to." 只要你不觉得尴尬,尴尬的就是别人

  • @user-rd2um5ef9e
    @user-rd2um5ef9e 2 года назад +3

    sometimes I come here and watch it again when I got rejected from interviews... this is the one of funniest ted talks I have ever seen. Thank you for sharing your experience!

  • @rqh2198
    @rqh2198 4 года назад +1579

    This guy should totally start a career of stand-up comedy! He's got a natural and effortless sense of humor around him

    • @andyreiter6253
      @andyreiter6253 4 года назад +3

      Not really.. maybe for some chines guys that have no charm

    • @josephaether377
      @josephaether377 4 года назад +13

      i thini it's just that his type of personality is likable in a submissive and servile way (not bad thing). i always naturally seek to benefit these people with a smile for them because i know that alphas probably regularly take advantage.

    • @JulyFourth1776
      @JulyFourth1776 4 года назад +159

      @@andyreiter6253 WTF?

    • @jdc4316
      @jdc4316 4 года назад +89

      Andy Reiter fucking idiot

    • @vikrantkharatmal6171
      @vikrantkharatmal6171 3 года назад

      @@jdc4316 guys he's following the pattern :p

  • @daniel_najar
    @daniel_najar 4 года назад +887

    “Sometimes you get rejected by lighting” 😅

    • @fatimabagayan8756
      @fatimabagayan8756 3 года назад +15

      that was the funniest part lmao

    • @Director-M
      @Director-M 2 года назад +1

      Is it rejecting when it zaps you or when it avoids zapping you? 🤣

    • @beactivebehappy9894
      @beactivebehappy9894 2 года назад +1

      @@Director-M depends on the situation, if you want to be zapped and it doesn't or if you don't want to be zapped and it does...😅

  • @arinavrabie3252
    @arinavrabie3252 2 года назад +21

    This is my absolute favorite TED talk. Hilarious and deep on so many levels. Thank you!!

  • @k4piii
    @k4piii 2 года назад +6

    I am not crying, you are...
    This came in such a perfect time after being rejected so many times now

  • @tonikpun9955
    @tonikpun9955 2 года назад +685

    I love how the Doughnut lady took it as a challenge and actually came out with Olympic ring donuts.

  • @novemtigris3041
    @novemtigris3041 4 года назад +511

    In Jia's letter, he also mentions winning a Nobel prize and buying IBM by the age of 35. Cool guy.

  • @jeremygwoods
    @jeremygwoods 2 года назад +1

    This is probably one of the most life-changing Ted Talks I've seen (and I've watched a lot of them).

  • @huzefakaba3203
    @huzefakaba3203 Год назад +22

    this is one of the most helpful and necessary video for today's world, where we all are getting rejected in some or the other way. It teaches us that rejection activates the same area as physical pain in the brain and by getting rejected more, you make your system anti-fragile and come out to be stronger. This really changed my life. ❤️ 💯

  • @Rossilaz58
    @Rossilaz58 2 года назад +1780

    "when I was 30"
    This man looks no older than 25

    • @adamantium4797
      @adamantium4797 2 года назад +362

      Youth has not rejected him

    • @ventithedrunk9506
      @ventithedrunk9506 2 года назад +123

      Its an asian thing, for some reason we look young to westerns

    • @redsus7569
      @redsus7569 2 года назад +9

      Except for women :/

    • @zoch9797
      @zoch9797 2 года назад +20

      You're right. People suck at guessing age. "hE lOoKs So yOuNg". No, he looks like he's 33-36.

    • @onceuponarevenant9409
      @onceuponarevenant9409 2 года назад +2

      @@ventithedrunk9506 I guess because western people dont take care of themselves too well. plus, asian people age in the proper way, at least most that i know.

  • @tarass8737
    @tarass8737 5 лет назад +467

    My teacher once told me something that really helped. She said don't be scared to ask, all someone can do is say "no", they can't do anything worse than that. I don't know why it really had an impact on me.

    • @lt6573
      @lt6573 3 года назад +8

      My Godmother shared the exact same advice with me in my early 20's which has helped me so much.

    • @bullseye6969
      @bullseye6969 3 года назад +10

      So how many men you asked out and how many rejected you?

    • @starfreak4999
      @starfreak4999 3 года назад +57

      my friend said the same, but the girl said 'ew' :')

    • @NyobcaKbn8mG2kgwbDdGmdlhIcGKMt
      @NyobcaKbn8mG2kgwbDdGmdlhIcGKMt 3 года назад

      @@bullseye6969 fr

    • @bian7744
      @bian7744 2 года назад +3

      I asked someone to give me the vape pen and they chased me away with brass knuckles.

  • @divsib
    @divsib 2 года назад +2

    This turned out to one of the most inspiring Ted talks I've ever listened to. Not sure how I missed watching this earlier.

  • @Sky_403
    @Sky_403 2 года назад +2

    One of the best and simplest and practical and satisfying TED talk I ever watched ❤️❤️Thank you man!!

  • @KENZOkm
    @KENZOkm 2 года назад +551

    "So grandma, how did you meet granddad?"
    "Well kid, he was very persistent. Like, VERY persistent."

    • @domri4203
      @domri4203 2 года назад +49

      So your grandfather was a "creep"

    • @PlaguedByEarth
      @PlaguedByEarth 2 года назад +92

      @@domri4203 Only if he was ugly.

    • @frustratedj
      @frustratedj 2 года назад +24

      He asked why, and boosted his chance.

    • @JW-qd3ol
      @JW-qd3ol 2 года назад +15

      @@PlaguedByEarth too real. go to logic jail. lol

    • @jadebarnes2716
      @jadebarnes2716 2 года назад +6

      @@PlaguedByEarth who wants an ugly partner ???

  • @fintamariaanna5858
    @fintamariaanna5858 2 года назад +440

    Props to the dude who immediately took a note of the rejection therapy website :)

  • @afrilifewealth8743
    @afrilifewealth8743 2 года назад +3

    What an inspiring talk. Defo one of my favourites. His delivery, content, and above all poignant message.

  • @charonegilmore8802
    @charonegilmore8802 Год назад

    Wow, not only is Jia inspirational and helpful in his journey and story, just being his natural,, authentic self, I found him to be one of the funniest stand up comedians I seen in a very long time . I just want to give him a big hug.

  • @ClemensAlive
    @ClemensAlive 2 года назад +4885

    Yes, yes and double yes!
    Here's a little story from my life:
    When I was 17, I was the most bullied kied in school - BY FAR!
    I then saw that something like a community on that new platform called "RUclips" was building. (It was 2010)
    So I also started making videos....
    I got laughed at by a couple of HUNDREDS of students EVERY DAY...but I didnt quit. I thought: "When you all hate me anyways, there's no point in quitting."
    5 years later I had one of the most successful RUclips channels in Germany. (It's this one :) )
    Then I retired from beeing a RUclipsr and started as a consultant for social media strategies in 2017.
    I got rejected exactly 68 times until I signed my first customer for 200$ (lol).
    Today I have clients all over the world. (Silicon Valley, Atlanta, Berlin,...you name it)
    Don't let rejection define you. It is nothing personal.
    In fact, If I would not have been rejected that often, I would not have known what my niche target group even needs...I would just sit there and call myself a failure all the time.

    • @kaitlyng7850
      @kaitlyng7850 2 года назад +76

      That's amazing! Congrats!!!

    • @FelixDaHousecat11
      @FelixDaHousecat11 2 года назад +62

      Your story is amazing :) I hope you continue to grow, you deserve it.

    • @wholelottamemesyes9426
      @wholelottamemesyes9426 2 года назад +6

      Deine Flachwitze Videos waren der Hammer :D

    • @pyttpytts2690
      @pyttpytts2690 2 года назад +2

      Well done

    • @sophon238
      @sophon238 2 года назад +6

      Brilliant, you are an inspiration

  • @davemckay4359
    @davemckay4359 7 лет назад +333

    Thought it was going to be boring. It wasn't.

  • @Moonlight50667
    @Moonlight50667 2 года назад +13

    This was fantastic thank you so much Jia Jiang! I will put this into practice I'm tired of being terrified of rejection 🙌🏼

  • @wishudbest5765
    @wishudbest5765 2 года назад +9

    This is an eye opening talk. I ran away several times with my fear of rejection. Now I know it doesnt hurt to at least ask what I want. Thank you so much.8

  • @barbarossa11
    @barbarossa11 4 года назад +3147

    Now go and ask Bill Gates if you could buy his company

    • @AksamRafiz
      @AksamRafiz 4 года назад +17

      Lol

    • @jdc4316
      @jdc4316 4 года назад +40

      Which one?

    • @alexanderb4818
      @alexanderb4818 4 года назад +6

      @Alexander Supertramp he means which company

    • @TkGz
      @TkGz 4 года назад +17

      for a 1$

    • @leekei5929
      @leekei5929 4 года назад +74

      Is that weird?

  • @kylemedina5112
    @kylemedina5112 2 года назад +1481

    Notes:
    - Don't run in the face of rejection, sit through and experience it.
    - Address any concerns the other person may have, and they will feel more comfortable with you. (ex: "Is that weird?")

    • @onceuponarevenant9409
      @onceuponarevenant9409 2 года назад +19

      i wish somebody on my family would had told me that 5 years ago when i quit school for not being good enough, now im 25 without a career and my parents keep giving me the death stare for my lack of success in life.

    • @cherry-hm2lr
      @cherry-hm2lr 2 года назад +23

      You know it's never too late to learn there's no certain age for learning you can start now
      And no worries, most don't work with their certificate, just learn something you love and have a field of work

    • @sarabary4084
      @sarabary4084 2 года назад +2

      @@cherry-hm2lr Agree

    • @claudiaflores3944
      @claudiaflores3944 2 года назад +6

      @@onceuponarevenant9409 Id recommend you to try to learn a new language and explore your interests, from there you might have a better idea of what youd like to do in life

    • @johnfoley4023
      @johnfoley4023 2 года назад +1

      @@claudiaflores3944 Agree with what you said. Where did learn a new language come from?

  • @durvonityejorand8898
    @durvonityejorand8898 2 года назад

    There are hundreds of amazing talks in TED, I don't doubt. But this one really touches something in my soul.

  • @GirlSmotheredToDeath
    @GirlSmotheredToDeath Месяц назад +4

    The idea of reevaluating rejection is truly a game changer as I learned that most rejections are not personal. This helped me with my confidence.

  • @Mia-ei4mh
    @Mia-ei4mh 11 месяцев назад +3

    Rejection is Redirection, the biggest moment in life came after I got rejected from something. I got what I needed 🤩

  • @Mihker
    @Mihker 7 лет назад +1806

    Top 10 TED talk for sure

    • @CoatRooneyy
      @CoatRooneyy 7 лет назад +1

      TED has one up for 2016; my personal favorite is the "Danger of AI"

    • @SheaDepmore
      @SheaDepmore 7 лет назад +1

      Mihker hear, hear.

    • @Mihker
      @Mihker 7 лет назад +1

      SlayerUK no sorry, wish i had

    • @yassinemachichi7074
      @yassinemachichi7074 7 лет назад +9

      can you sare some them with us please ?

    • @Scrubbzzy
      @Scrubbzzy 7 лет назад +1

      Not even close.

  • @ninetyfree5967
    @ninetyfree5967 7 лет назад +306

    Comfort is the enemy of achivement.

    • @TheWelchProductions
      @TheWelchProductions 6 лет назад +13

      But it's not always bad to be comfortable.

    • @TheWelchProductions
      @TheWelchProductions 5 лет назад +3

      unknown beauty I can still be comfortable and grow, so you’re wrong.

    • @TheWelchProductions
      @TheWelchProductions 5 лет назад +10

      unknown beauty But what happens when you are in deep, COMFORTABLE sleep? Your body recharges, you regain energy, and you regrow the muscle you destroyed working out!

    • @JorgeGonzalez-nz5pf
      @JorgeGonzalez-nz5pf 5 лет назад +7

      Comfort is the enemy of achievement, so get comfortable in achieving things.

    • @snowframe2995
      @snowframe2995 5 лет назад

      @@TheWelchProductions sleep is for the weak

  • @Lalitajanette
    @Lalitajanette 2 года назад +10

    My God this is amazing, I had and still have fear of rejection. It was really a real-life change when we aware of ti and started to overcome it. Thank you for sharing you are so inspiring.

  • @carebestie
    @carebestie Год назад +3

    That was simply amazing, thank you for sharing your story and how you used your fear of rejection as a learning experience for all of us. Many of us struggle with fear and rejection and our dreams suffer the consequences, I love your simple method of application.

  • @bentonrp
    @bentonrp 5 лет назад +350

    After this video, I asked a girl out and she said yes. I had to explain that I didn't really want to go out with her and that I was merely... Persuing rejection.

    • @bullseye6969
      @bullseye6969 3 года назад +44

      🤦

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 3 года назад +48

      @@bullseye6969 ^ and that's exactly what she did to my face

    • @betiedu
      @betiedu 3 года назад +11

      @@bentonrp lol are you for real?

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 3 года назад +65

      @@betiedu I didn't really do this. It was all a joke. After all, why would she say yes???

    • @betiedu
      @betiedu 3 года назад +8

      @@bentonrp Oh alright

  • @Luftgitarrenprofi
    @Luftgitarrenprofi 7 лет назад +2464

    I have social anxiety, tried this and asked a girl I liked if she wants to go out with me. I ended up in the hospital due to severe hyperventilation and cardiac arrhythmias. My class is now making fun of me, calling me a psycho and the girl is one of them.
    Guess I should've started with something potentially less stressful.

    • @alegnahench5514
      @alegnahench5514 7 лет назад +186

      Feuerbringer awww dont give up😉

    • @alegnahench5514
      @alegnahench5514 7 лет назад +110

      Feuerbringer i will date u (in an uncreepy way)😂😂

    • @mathew633man
      @mathew633man 7 лет назад +244

      damn.... i thought i had it bad. it takes a lot for me to feel bad for someone and you did it. don't worry bro. i will always be here for you. i know you are a nice guy just misunderstood.

    • @mathew633man
      @mathew633man 7 лет назад +16

      damn.... i thought i had it bad. it takes a lot for me to feel bad for someone and you did it. don't worry bro. i will always be here for you.

    • @keynesthetic2275
      @keynesthetic2275 7 лет назад +9

      Well...

  • @SuperRedSpace
    @SuperRedSpace 2 года назад +2

    Yesterday I started my 30 day rejection challenge based of this video, wish me luck

  • @fosres
    @fosres Год назад +1

    Single-handedly one of the greatest RUclips videos I ever watched in my life.

  • @the135joker3
    @the135joker3 7 лет назад +175

    That man started off weak but he grew some balls of steel

  • @jayfinne626
    @jayfinne626 4 года назад +2396

    100 days of rejection? Pfffft that’s nothing I’ve been rejected for the past 23 years and counting 😎

    • @irecon-_516
      @irecon-_516 4 года назад +55

      18 here 😔

    • @kaskusio8499
      @kaskusio8499 4 года назад +73

      but you haven't been keeping track of your rejections...
      Please do, also upload the videos for me to launch

    • @ichoosemysanity6467
      @ichoosemysanity6467 4 года назад +24

      Haha I can't count mine it's not too many I have been rejected by jobs like 500 times but those jobs weren't for me I guess.

    • @Salamander10
      @Salamander10 4 года назад +2

      You almost have reddit in your last name I’m not surprised

    • @mcfrosty1299
      @mcfrosty1299 4 года назад +5

      I've been at a marketing job for 4 days and have been rejected probably 80-100 times already during slow days lmao

  • @LionElAton
    @LionElAton Год назад

    This is without a doubt one of the greatest TED Talks ever. Absolutely amazing.

  • @JRspeaking
    @JRspeaking 2 года назад +1

    Rarely do these videos keep my attention all the way through. Jia Jiang knows how to deliver. He keeps you laughing and thinking.....

  • @kevingarm
    @kevingarm 2 года назад +690

    I've said for years that the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure, when in fact failure is a necessary part of success. Jia Jiang you did the best job of illustrating this that I have ever seen! Great talk.

    • @SuSmallville
      @SuSmallville 2 года назад +3

      Bad example would be Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos

    • @RobertMJohnson
      @RobertMJohnson 2 года назад +2

      not true, Armstrong. doctors, attorneys, engineers from our top universities are incredible professionals. Getting great grades at our best schools isn't failure-avoidance in the least.

    • @sariahlace5944
      @sariahlace5944 2 года назад

      Well said

    • @Dave_of_Mordor
      @Dave_of_Mordor 2 года назад +3

      @@RobertMJohnson i don't think that's what he meant by failure avoidance.

    • @RobertMJohnson
      @RobertMJohnson 2 года назад +3

      @@Dave_of_Mordor that's exactly what he meant, Luigi. "the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure"
      what is more "formal" than the doctors, attorneys, engineers from the top-ranked universities in the US who make the highest grades and essentially do NOT go on to "fail" but achieve great success (to your point)?

  • @tusenbensen334
    @tusenbensen334 7 лет назад +791

    It's weird that this would show up right now, I started a similar project just a week ago (not knowing about this person which om now very interested in).
    I have a really difficult time just talking to people for the sake of it, and I thought that is a massive roadblock in my life. So I made this game, where every school day on the bus home, I have to sit next to a stranger and just talk to them.
    It's terrifying, but I see myself getting less scared, so it might be working :)

    • @yoXneo
      @yoXneo 7 лет назад +45

      Tusenbensen cool! That's sorta what I'm doing too this year to face my social anxiety! Good luck! 👍

    • @AM-sh7hb
      @AM-sh7hb 7 лет назад +31

      Tusenbensen Do many of them actually talk back? Good on ya for getting out of your comfort zone :)

    • @PortalStorm4000
      @PortalStorm4000 7 лет назад +44

      If someone insults you, agree with them. Their reactions are funny, and you can make some good inside jokes. Because I'm drunk on oxygen.

    • @adrianaavila8853
      @adrianaavila8853 7 лет назад +5

      That sounds amazing!!! I would love to know how it all works out.

    • @tusenbensen334
      @tusenbensen334 7 лет назад +3

      YoAntoNeo
      Thank you, and good luck with what you're doing Too ^-^

  • @mr.kingsleigh1409
    @mr.kingsleigh1409 Год назад +4

    Jia Jiang, your 6yr old's trauma is already dramatically impacting lives of all these commentors and viewers. Superb. Please DRIVE this message to the 8 billion of us who still desperately need this message, YOUR message. In that alone, a life worth having lived. Blessings and thank you.

  • @barryduffey5587
    @barryduffey5587 8 месяцев назад +3

    Really great speech. He really uses humor to make his point, and I can really appreciate the hard work he put in to complete each task on his list of rejections. Well worth the watch.

  • @tarpee4045
    @tarpee4045 2 года назад +158

    "Sometimes you get rejected by lightning"
    Man, this must have been how Zuko felt

  • @MrLuigiFercotti
    @MrLuigiFercotti 4 года назад +125

    I never asked for anything, and had huge fear of rejection. Self reliant to a fault. But you can't do it all yourself.

    • @aloooo1256
      @aloooo1256 3 года назад +4

      Same here!

    • @itskarl79
      @itskarl79 2 года назад +1

      Same EXACTY here

    • @wrldtrvlr4vr
      @wrldtrvlr4vr 2 года назад +2

      Same. Being a lone wolf is hard sometimes

    • @DK-ki2fh
      @DK-ki2fh 2 года назад +1

      @@wrldtrvlr4vr Actually, being a lone wolf is literally all I have ever been and it's my safe space. Doing everything yourself due to lack of trust towards others actually has helped me. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but being a lone wolf is the most rewarding since you don't get assistance from people.

  • @wuzzym
    @wuzzym 2 года назад +2

    This guy really knows how to tell a story. Has a good sense of humour and knows how to keep you engaged. I didn't realize that this vid was 15 mins long!

  • @freecheese4143
    @freecheese4143 2 года назад +2

    One of the best! I didn't expect his humor or the experience. Loved it.

  • @samiaziz5050
    @samiaziz5050 7 лет назад +352

    He seems so genuinely happy with his life now, teaching about rejection and social change. I rarely see that much fulfilment on someone's face, when he talked about the book and teaching near the end.

    • @tonyswe9463
      @tonyswe9463 5 лет назад +2

      Sami Aziz agree. He seems so genuinely happy with his life.

    • @michellep1555
      @michellep1555 5 лет назад +3

      his grandma is happy that he's finally a teacher after all :D

  • @NoGufff
    @NoGufff 7 лет назад +254

    I think I speak for many subscribers when I say, "This is why we subscribed".

  • @shreeshchhabbi
    @shreeshchhabbi 2 года назад +12

    Thank you for the refreshing talk! I have always observed that if I knock the door multiple times when I really wanted something, I have always got what I wanted. But I keep forgetting it due to that 6 year old child that kept getting rejected in childhood. We really need to suppress that pessimistic child in us and get the optimistic child out.

  • @neptronix
    @neptronix 2 года назад +22

    Some years ago this guy taught me to actually get out there and start asking questions boldly. It was a skill i needed at the time. After thinking about this video some, i decided to imitate it. It lead me to finally start my business.
    Thank you, Jia Jiang, and TED, for having him.

  • @IndrajitRajtilak
    @IndrajitRajtilak 4 года назад +865

    In the face of rejection: DO NOT RUN
    1. Ask why: people usually give you a way forward
    2. Mention the doubt: "Is that weird"? - gains trust
    3. Just ask: keep asking and you shall receive

    • @Ikiratuki
      @Ikiratuki 4 года назад +29

      If you ask why and they say "no" it's a dead end. Of course there's no mention of how to get around a No.
      Unfortunately no is the only answer I get. So either I have to quit, brute force a yes, or ignore whoever is gate keeping.
      I agree that you shouldn't run. Running is for cowards. Cowards usually don't win and nobody likes them.

    • @vegeta99rock
      @vegeta99rock 4 года назад +2

      @@Ikiratuki then Just Ignore It And Say Next .. I Usually Do This And I Most Of The Time Get Rejections.
      Jia Ling Rights Rejection Is A Gift !

    • @IKamiZz
      @IKamiZz 4 года назад +19

      if they say no too many times there's always heroin

    • @TheTheoser
      @TheTheoser 4 года назад +5

      @@IKamiZz lolol pls no

    • @user-qe7bt9dz1l
      @user-qe7bt9dz1l 4 года назад +1

      Indrajit Rajtilak Blah

  • @allmightynimore9151
    @allmightynimore9151 7 лет назад +287

    This is one lively audiance. Some other audiance would have kept quit on all of his jokes.

    • @JiaJiang
      @JiaJiang 7 лет назад +48

      allmightymhingo I've always wanted to do an eulogy.

    • @OutRightYeti-FB
      @OutRightYeti-FB 5 лет назад +3

      Thats Portland for you

    • @liamliu9745
      @liamliu9745 5 лет назад +1

      Just like TED audiance?

    • @nannaed7833
      @nannaed7833 2 года назад +1

      He’s hilarious tho for real

  • @dshufflz3129
    @dshufflz3129 2 года назад +2

    Man this was so brilliant! Loved hearing your journey and what you learned along the way. 10/10 delivery as well, great lesson, thank you for sharing!

  • @BboyBabyCAkes
    @BboyBabyCAkes Год назад +10

    I loved this Ted Talk because of his experiment. I’ve rewatched this numerous times and I think I’m going to try to practice asking for things I actually want instead of purposefully asking for things i'm most likely to get rejected for like asking for a burger refill or planting a plant in someone’s back yard. If it’s context specific to something you actually want I feel you are more receptive to grow from these rejection experiences because you are practicing being authentic in what you desire.

  • @tyyoung6953
    @tyyoung6953 2 года назад +199

    Saw this video recently.
    I went down to a local bar and drank a couple of beers, then before leaving I asked to speak to the manager and I told him how much I liked the placed and asked if he could give me beer on the house...
    No joke he actually brought me a beer on the house!
    Thank you Jia Jiang for the burger refill idea, it may not work on burgers, but it certainly worked with beer.

  • @DSchae2165
    @DSchae2165 2 года назад +499

    I'm 55 and I still struggle with my inner child's rejection issues. I could've been a famous writer by now. I could've been a great artist by now. I could've been someone of great importance changing the world by now. But no. I am not. Now my internal excuse is "I'm too old to start now", and I struggle with that every day when I still try to move forward to being what I want to be.

    • @thejumpingnomad2485
      @thejumpingnomad2485 2 года назад +95

      Time will pass no matter what we do. So in five years from now do you want to be a 60 year old still struggling or do you want to be the best 60 year old in the world at writing? Best wishes.

    • @asmodeus1234
      @asmodeus1234 2 года назад +48

      embrace rejection, I just called a girl I assumed made up an excuse to end a date. Turns out that she really did have to deliver something, and now we're setting up another date in the near future!

    • @JamFlexx
      @JamFlexx 2 года назад +32

      D.K. as long as you are at peace with yourself, there is no need to be 'famous' or 'someone of great importance'. You are enough, & have every reason to be happy.

    • @frankcrank6262
      @frankcrank6262 2 года назад +42

      @@JamFlexx I FULLY second this comment...by far one of the greatest replies I've read. In a world full of unreasonable expectations, so many people feel like failures because they weren't #1 at something, or the richest, or the skinniest, or the buffest, etc, etc. One of the biggest realizations is that everyone in this world is just trying to get through life. If we make it easier for others instead of looking out only for ourselves, then that is success, and that is a life well lived.

    • @JamFlexx
      @JamFlexx 2 года назад +4

      @@frankcrank6262 well said brother .

  • @samuelrosslee408
    @samuelrosslee408 2 года назад

    One of the best, if not the best, TedTalks I’ve ever heard. Great Job ! ! ! !

  • @mng519
    @mng519 2 года назад +2

    We all have a traumatized little kid inside of us controlling our lives. George W. from grade school in Danboro Pa., this is your friend Marcus. You were picked on like crazy, and you didn't deserve it! If you see this comment. I love you man!

  • @alexandraj582
    @alexandraj582 4 года назад +106

    Everyone in life will experience some type of rejection. 'Rejection does not define you. The reaction after rejections defines you'. Great TED talk

  • @nabeelhakeem3593
    @nabeelhakeem3593 3 года назад +66

    My new motto in life is "Taking NO for an answer".

  • @elenbalyan3683
    @elenbalyan3683 Год назад +7

    The simple act of asking for what we want can open up possibilities we never imagined, and that rejection can actually lead us down unexpected paths. This talk is a great reminder that it's important to take risks and face our fears in order to grow and achieve our goals. Life is too short to be in constant fear of rejection. I agree that embracing rejection as a tool for self-improvement is necessary.

  • @DanielLopez-gi8oy
    @DanielLopez-gi8oy 2 года назад +4

    This Ted Talk just became my favorite one! Wow a big lesson, I feel inspired now to not run when rejection happens. Thanks! Love it

  • @Missbergdorf
    @Missbergdorf 5 лет назад +547

    I've watched this so many times and still laugh, it never gets old. This is the TED Talk that turned my life around, and trust me when I say I've watched too many to count. For a few years now, I have "practiced" almost every day -even with really small attempts at getting rejected- and it really changed my life. Better career, better entourage, a loooot of money saved and opportunities created.. I feel so grateful that I once stumbled upon this video and encourage y'all to do the same !!

    • @Adarrra13
      @Adarrra13 5 лет назад +2

      really? sounds interesting.. do you have some blog or just what were your rejection ideas?

    • @MXxx-uc8bh
      @MXxx-uc8bh 4 года назад

      Stllbn emm 🤔

    • @TheMarioMen1
      @TheMarioMen1 4 года назад +2

      Stllbn damn you’re stunning how are you even suffering from rejection? I’d never reject ya 😉

    • @MeetMyGreenBud7
      @MeetMyGreenBud7 4 года назад +33

      @@TheMarioMen1 boy you need some water

    • @at5286
      @at5286 4 года назад +2

      Stllbn girrrrl good for you! Cheers to the women who find their strength in this world! Now light the path for others, were all meant to learn and teach 🙏

  • @NO-tw1lf
    @NO-tw1lf 7 лет назад +33

    Life lesson: everyone is as terrified of disappointment as you are.... use it against them

  • @blessed7fold
    @blessed7fold 2 года назад

    This was the best Ted Talk I think I have ever seen. Wow! This guys was so real, genuine and relatable.

  • @LivingGuy484
    @LivingGuy484 4 месяца назад +1

    One of my favorite talks to this day, I hope I can remember to be brave and keep going forward just like him