One Mindset to Conquer Rejection
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
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What could possibly be more painful than rejection? Turns out, there's one feeling that IS. In this week's LOVElife I reveal what it is and share the one mindset that will get you over your fear of rejection once and for all so you can finally put yourself "out there" without worrying about getting hurt again...
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i think the harder part of rejection is feeling that it was mutual love for a long time untill you realise you were completely wrong and losing trust in your own judgements..
LIDYAEIL i completely agree, when you spend years in a person loved them unconditionally and then they decide to just leave and built a family with someone else. It makes at least me feel like an idiot. Especially after you were really close with that person...that pain is more than plain rejection
murphys crazycat I liked a girl and everyone said she likes me so after 2 years I give her a note to text me the following teusday and I was so confident she liked me and she didn't.8 months later I still can't get over it. Now I decided to give up on girls. What should I really do guys?
Boltzbee _ Just listen to this talk, dude! Matheew says it all. Do not give up!! Move on :)
This is me now. I thought he loved me too and I’m planning my future with him on mind. I confessed but he said that we’re only friends.. nothing more. I honestly don’t know what to do now. I wish I’ll get over this soon
This hit me hard
You can be the most yummy, most delicious, best chocolate cake in the world, but there's always going to be someone who just doesn't like chocolate cake!
Cato whaaaat? Who doesn’t love chocolate cake? 😏😘❤️
I’m on a diet. Figuratively and literally if you get my drift.
Amen
Chocolate cake is fucking disgusting
@@mikexiong7354 I prefer Vanilla cake lol
I love this saying "You were not rejected, you were re-directed" ♥
I hate this saying. It's controlling, it's nasty, and it's cruel.
it is actually interesting, it is like a sign from the universe to change your path.
I never seen it that way before wise words yes 🙂💕
Great lines
Bruh it hurts so bad
Take rejection as compliment ...sometimes they reject you because they feel like they deserve worse
akta patel True.
a p - But gee, that is NOT what they figure out to say!
Wow! This is good!🙌🏾
Hahaha i love it
Good try but nah...NOBODY prefer worse. Just think there is no worse or better, just different people. Some are meant to be together and some are not. Like this guy says, not everyone is your audience
Rejection is better than regret. Always remember and never forget that.
Right I have no regrets about life yet
I needed to read this today. 🙏
@@etcwhatever, you are welcome.
I thought so, I followed it, and then got rejected. Now I'm just in pain
I don't know what do to
rejection can hit your core wounds from childhood
Damn 💯💯
Sad but true 😭😭😭
I approach girls all the time at school if I’m rejected I don’t care at all I move on to the next I might even approach her friends if she rejects me it’s real fun getting rejected
@UC6wjU30i3-apu8GTrjhr5Ng the fuck. not sure if ur speaking the truth but if you are you're a fucking animal. Just asked out a girl for the first time at 18 years old and it turned out she's already got something going on with someone else, she was super nice about it but I still feel crushed lmao. I'll soldier on tho
@@goblin4164 not sure if this reply to me but yea like 15 girls rejected me but 🖕🖕 em I’m on to the next
"Rejection is momentary, regret is for a lifetime" - this video is precise, thank you
Remember:
1. when people show you who they are, believe them!
2. Don’t let anybody tell you twice, they don’t want you.
3. There are plenty of fish in the world.
Easy to understand, but difficult to apply 😭
I ca n recomme nd you to someo ne who he lped me fixed my broken 💔 relat ionship and br ing my ex ❤💕 back to me .
His name is(( Dr Stephen ))
Whatxaap •` + 2... 3... 4 -- 7...0 3--0....8 .... 9 .... 4-- 8 ...9 ..2 📞 📞 🤳🙏🙏
@@patriciaclay2111 I'm leaving this comment to remember the second one.
Very true!
@@wonderfultube6699 same dude….same
Most of those fish aren't worth reeling in so no there's really not
This is what i always say. Regret is ten times WORSE than rejection. "What ifs" are the ones that kill you.
I disagree. I think Regret is ten times WORSE than rejection.
@@Valoelify oh damn thats what i meant, i wrote it the other way round, thanks for noticing!! I edited it now and fixed it :D. I wonder if the 57 people who liked my comment before noticed the error lol.
idk man i dont want to have to sit by her for the rest of the semester after being rejected by her
@@moistfire8923 Lol, that sucks. But if she rejects you she misses out and you don't have to live with the "what if" for the rest of the semester. Go for it, and if she says no, brush it off and move to the next.
@@gbessone i feel like it’ll be obvious because we’ve sat next to each other in class for the past six weeks and ive literally never talked to her outside of group projects. i have a very slight bit of hope because i faintly remember her telling me good job when i got a 14/14 on a quiz tho (we do peer grading) 😁
Just because someone rejects us doesn't mean we have to reject ourselves…it doesn't mean we're not lovable or worthy. Maybe that was the wrong person for you or the wrong job for you. Rejection doesn't have to defeat us, it can actually help us become more resilient, build up thicker skin and allows us to persevere. Honestly, we all fear rejection because we are human, & it is a very human condition. But, we also have the power to rise above it and become stronger because of it.
Right
👏👏👏
Preach
Very well said my dude.
beautiful x
Rejection is the worst! Knowing that you have to walk away from a person you like and not to have them in your life for your emotional health is VERY difficult.
It’s sad beyond words.
reject means the person isnt a vib match that all
I totally agree on this
Yeah but never knowing and then that friendship dying anyway is worse. Then
you have to just wonder.
View rejection as a tool that reveals incompatibility as opposed to a measurement of unworthiness or inadequacy - by allowing people to be a measurement of your worthiness you’re essentially giving them the power to decide and judge who you are. Take them off the pedestal and bring them down to the human level.
"View rejection as a tool that reveals incompatibility as opposed to a measurement of unworthiness or inadequacy" - WOW!
Greaaaat point!
Wow i love this perspective
Such a great tip! I have placed people on pedestals and that should not be. Thank you!
Thank you
Rejection is the universe's protection. Loved this.
Except it's pure BS.
Nina Elcao Wow! I’ve never thought of it like that before 🙌
The girl who rejected me, quite stupidly I might add, for a 3rd world loser, so STUPID that he cannot even read his own language, proves that this is probably, at least on some level, correct.
@@nwchrista she's an a ss hole 🙏
No lol
Matthew is so incredibly intelligent
----> Incredibly wise
I mean he is already handsome but It makes him double attractive
Got rejected, felt like shit all week, like I was drowning. Listening to this really helped bring me back up to the surface. Thank you.
It’s better to be rejected than ending up with person that doesn’t really want you, or doesn’t get you.
It’s really hard sometimes, when you had something nice with him, but after a while you realize why it was better to split up.
Matt, you are such a sweetheart!💜
It's not the fear of rejection, it's the loss of interest in dating once you have put so much energy behind someone who never wanted you, n in the process u cross the age bar, n then feel ur too old anyway, n dating doesn't feel as good it does in 20's
Oh my goodness, I can relate to your comment so much.
Yes.
One of the best thoughts in this topic
Guys never be afraid of rejection. Regret is much worse. I’m going through the feeling of regret rn and it’s the worst thing ever bc you realize you‘ve wasted an amazing opportunity.
I got rejected and lost the friendship :'( but true regret is so much worst, I'm over the rejection but not over the friendship lost
@@mxloco100 that sucks hope you’re doing okay now
This helps me so much right now. I just got rejected by a guy I love. It hurts like hell but this reminds me that it's OK. I will be OK.
Hi Anna, I see you've commented a year ago. How are you now? I'm going through that "re-direction" right now and want know how long that pain lasted for you.
@@michl2273 hey, I think the pain only goes away when you redirect and work through the feelings.
He respects me and my boundaries and I his. We are good friends by now. I know now that I have a lot to work on, past trauma and things like that. I noticed that I only wanted to be loved and feel like I belong. He gave me that in a totally unexpected way. But my case is special maybe......
Learning to love myself is a whole journey too, but it's worth it.
Just know....this too, shall pass.
@@annat.1318 thank you. I'm also in that journey, learning to love and honor myself. Yes, this pain, will come to pass, soon hopefully.
@@michl2273 I kind of want to give you a hug right now and tell you that it will be ok. You are not alone on that journey anyways. Just wanted to share that.❤️
@@annat.1318 That made me cry and gave me comfort at the same time. Thank you so much.
Rejection is a brutally honest way to accept, "Hey, we're just not compatible enough."
Rejection is a precious gift you may receive to allow you to refine your character (staying confident, remaining humble, gaining motivation, becoming even more postive, etc.) while moving on to 'casually' find somebody who is a better fit for all that you are.
Yesterday I was 25 and today I am 74 and I don't know what happened to those years in between. My husband rejected me after 16 years of marriage. He went out and got married again right away, never looking back at me or caring. I spent all these years not knowing how to handle the rejection. I'm alone, me my dogs and cats. I don't want girl friends I want a companion to enjoy doing things with, a hug, a kiss and maybe making love. You make sense to me and I watch your videos again and again until the understanding you are giving me sinks in. I wish I would have had your videos years ago so I would have begun to live the life I should have had. I just broke up with a man and your videos are helping me now. (It had been 24 years since I had been with a man) Now, thanks to your advice I am handling this break up. I'm so grateful to you!
I'm so sorry for your pain and loss. Stay strong. I'm sure you have so much love to give. Age is irrelevant. You will find somebody who sees you as you are and who will match your love in kind.
Hugs to you xx
hitchhiker break up at 74. More power to you .
Hey, that's quite a story you got there. I'm only 20, just went through my very first rejection and I probably don't know anything about life just yet, but I think you're truly great for being able to move on now even if it's after so many years. It's never too late to take charge of your life.
Hugs! Stay stong! You’re amazing
Rejection hurts. I'm 65 and have been rejected and have rejected. That is something you have to experience in life and at the time, you sometimes think you won't survive it. But you do. Good posting, Matthew.
Kat Rand lol your 65 bro women in these gerneration suck ass. I need them girls in the 1960s.
@@T.O.E.C same
@@randywhite3947 me too
Your closing statement was powerful "small risks everyday and always remind yourself that you can sleep at night knowing you tried.."
When a door closes, another better one is for you. Trust that the best is there for you. Say thank you, I know thank you. Cheers.
Cheers 🥂
Well if all the doors in the room shuts search for another room lol
This powerful message made me cry.
me too :'(
Got the tears too when he talked about death.
Me too 😭
Me too
Me too! Been Single for a very long time.
First time being rejected. I strangely feel better. I guess I'm more afraid of affection than I am rejection.
OMW! Me too ..... if someone rejects me, I don't really become sad BUT if they show affection, I freeze and run lol
Me too.....hahahaha
SydneyKayJones, the fear of affection is a fear of rejection.
_Same case here brother._
@@michelleludwig6939 jesus i relate sksksksksk
“Not everyone is my audience” thanks for this line Matt 🙏🏻
Rejection really hurts, no question about it. I was just broken up with recently, so I'm still grieving. But I made the decision to accept rejection as part of the dating experience. I'm willing to go through the hurt, to hopefully find the person(s) who will value me. I know that the pain won't last forever. It also helps to know that others are going through the same, and that the shared experience gives us the opportunity to support each other.
Woooow you are very head strong and are definitely worthy of someone will appreciate you
Rejection is the worst! It's awful feeling like you're not wanted. I was so in love with this guy I dated for 7 years. He dumped me and went back to an old girlfriend and they got married 6 months later. It's been a year now and I am still heartbroken. It's not that easy just to pick up the pieces and move on. That someone I love so much did not want me in his life is hard to accept.
SuzieQ121 you ate better that man .. I no the pain so well and it’s been 6 months of hell .. I loved her did everything for her and so on .. but if someone isn’t in love with us we have to suck it up .. you will be ok Andre
@@andreflavell2689 how are you now Andre?
How are you now Suzie? Are you good? Have you moved on?
This is brilliant! Thanks!
(Trying to write a summary here)
1. Rejection is Never personal to the person being rejected. It’s always personal to the person initiating the rejection gesture as this is not what she/he wants in his life (or at least she/he believes so at the moment - do we always know wisely what we want all the time... haha). If he says no to you, free him to chase whatever dream he wants.
2. Don’t be narcissistic assuming you are perfect and will always be liked to the person you like. There are always compatibility issues. The goal HAS to be finding the kind who you like a lot and Also likes you a lot... preferably even more.
3. Who you like now - might not look that great in your eye after 10 years. The fact he rejects you is a relief and favour for you, in consideration of your possible regret in a decade. Think this way... cheer up, go for a walk and move on. Life should be too busy for you to waste your mind on someone that is no longer willing to invest in your co-future. Dwelling your thoughts on such a person is no longer productive in any way.
There is an old saying in Chinese: the new one will not arrive unless the old one is gone! Kick this terrible experience off your mind and focus on how much potential you have in the future. ;)
Thank you!!
Thank you
Thank you so much for giving us a summary !
This is so amazing
Thank you
This made me smile 🙂
I think the hardest part of rejection, especially when it happens over and over again... is that you continue to shut down and not want to open up.
I have a hard time now trusting my heart with someone.🥲
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Whatsapp him
+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
You are not ganna regret this trust me, just try your best to text him now and see how it works perfectly.
Rejection is a redirection for something better. We have to remember and accept that we will get rejected throughout our lives and it may be a blessing in disguise if we get rejected sometimes. And I agree with Matthew, when we have limited time left, who cares about rejection? I rather get rejected, then get over it than to live in regret. This is helpful!
This video could not have come at a better time. These words were exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.
Chandara Chuon Same here... I was supposed to see someone yesterday, it would have been our 2nd date. He flaked out last minute. It’s weird, because he was the one staying persistent and wanting to meet up. I’m definitely done with that person. Even though I wasn’t impressed with him at all, rejection is never pleasant. No matter from whom.
there was one guy i really liked for a longer time. i decided to end that obsession by aproaching him and openly confess my feelings. he accepted the date and after i had told him how things are with me he gave me back (as directly) a huge no. that moment changed me forever. i thanked him and walked away with a big smile on my face. i was finally able to move on. but ever since he's been looking at me differently. today i dont mind what ever he thinks of me...
you see, even if you make a fool of yourself is a price worth paying for finding deeper confidence. one which other opinions and beliefs cant interfere with. you dont mind what anyone thinks of you and out of respect (both for yourself and them) you dont try to prove them wrong. they think you're easy or a fool... ok... they do have the right to think what they need and as long as you carry that inner sense of respect for yourself and others, you are just fine with rejections
željka strbat, I had the opposite result from an experience like that.
Ms Ex Lexi that's really nice ☺
Love of Music You did the right thing by approaching him but one of the rules of dating is that you won't spill your guts very early. Hope you keep that on mind meeting other guys. Best of the luck!
A few weeks ago I did the exact same thing as you. He was a good friend of mine and because of the obsession I developped for him I had to tell him how I feel. Even though deep down I knew he didn't love me the way I did, I had to tell him cause I really wanted to get over him. He rejected me after being shocked at my confession, and now I am feeling better each day, but still have to keep going and be patient. I did it for myself. I'm sad I lost a friend, but now that I'm starting to get over him, I'm seeing his flaws. I'm just realizing how blind love made me.
lol... its better 2 know it now then later... the soonish u know, the sooner u can move on faster. been there done that. i dont wanna waste ma time for years
It really sucks to be rejected and no one is exempted to feel that way. But we should keep it in mind that nothing is permanent in this world, everything will changed, so as your feelings of being down. Don't feel bad for yourself, it's just a bad day not a bad life.
I got so much anxiety watching this because i didn't address this when it happened and it has affected me in many ways in terms of my confidence and self esteem. i felt so unworthy of love, my insecurities increased. I hope i get better. Thanks for this video.
Hi, I’m a stranger but how do you feel. I’m going through this now and I hope that you get through it. May you have a wonderful life full of people who will never walk away from the amazing human being that you are. Take care.
-Aissatou Diouf
You already are better Shiru! I claim healing and deliverance in Jesus name of your life!
I'm so glad that I used my "super power" when I had it in my 20's. Now it's 20 years later and I am happily married. Yes, I've been rejected so many times, but I didn't let that stop me. There are other "fish in the sea". Don't focus on meeting a guy, focus on meeting guys and the right one will come through that will sweep you off your feet. Enjoy being in your 20's now so that when you look back on your life 20 years from now, you'll have no regrets.
rejection isn't always about you it's about them- everyone has their own individual love map
The best advice I got for rejection was always value yourself and love yourself so that YOU are the prize. So when some tells you they’re not interested, it doesn’t bother you, you give freely, you may want them but you don’t need them.
The problem is it takes time to really see that self worth in yourself. To stop putting yourself down because everyone is different and everyone has different hang ups. So it may take you a while to really validate yourself but it is possible. You will feel invincible when it comes to things like rejection.
as someone who has actually wasted 10 years because of one rejection, i find this conversation truly powerful. i hope with all my heart that everyone that's been hiding in their shell scared stiff can listen to this and will come up with the courage to live their lives to the fullest, myself included.
I feel u. I just can’t get over this 1 particular rejection. Was it a for a partner? Job? Or wat?
WOW. The bit about "believing we have time to waste" hit me hard. I'm only 19, but have NEVER pursued a guy b/c fear of rejection. Guess what, that's going to change. I'm coming for you B. Conaway.
i've felt this way since i was 17 and wasted a lot of time and had people waste my time, i tried college but shouldn't have wasted 5 and a half years on courses... i got no where with it because of all the corruption and people only caring about money... i just got bullied and told i was useless like in high school... so i won't be doing another course but i've just been suffering with hormone issues and not done anything about it... i mean it's so hard because i'm so depressed, anxious, my sleeping is buggered and doctors, nurses and hospitals don't help by trying to pick on people to, i dunno if it's worth even going because what they can they even do besides putting me on the pill? then what if it's my thyroid? then my parents will have to pay for the pills because i have no damn money... and they've already been picking on my weight but it's nout to do with my weight they just try to say that and i know i've gotta try but i'm not just gonna be made a fool of either ya know? it's a 50/50 things and knowing me i'll probs get given a hard time, so they aren't exactly helping me... i just start feeling my breathing tighten and my heart race and then i just can't deal with the stress and they know it... it's not right knowing i may have to just live with it and then because there's a risk of cancer... i feel like it's gonna be one hell of a thing where i have to threaten them with a lawsuit because of the risk of cancer (even if there's no real proof of that lol), and well... people take advantage a lot these days when your poorly or just being a good person and it's so hard to not want to fear being rejected and unappriciated all the time... indeed though we can't regret being who are and we just at least gotta try, that's all we can do really to live our lives the best we can.
you have all the right to protect your heart. we need to fix our expectation of people and allow them they have the right to choose us or not. Be flexible with ourselves and others and love ourselves first.
I used to be a loser who was afraid of rejection too and scared of taking even the first step. Now I just try to live life to the fullest, embrace it and sometimes rejections can be the best things in life and it makes us stronger . . . We never know until we try . . . .
I'm in my 40s and I don't regret not dating for the last few years. Coming from an abusive family background (which I left just a few years ago), I kept getting involved with narcissistic men. The fear of regret of a toxic relationship was greater than being single until I healed. Just this year I felt confident to start dating because I know I'll attract healthier men. Watching this helped me realize I can handle rejection. Yeah it'll hurt, it'll suck, but gosh...my recovery time is far better now and I don't depend on people's approval like I use to. I think I've got this. ;)
I was in a problem like that before i meet someone who helped me out if you need help ▫️▫️
W.h.a.t.s.a.p.p h.i.m ▫️▫️
+ 2 3 4 9 0 2 2 6 7 9 2 7 8.. ▫️▫️
All my life i knew rejection when it comes to relationships. I am the same age as you and just got myself another rejection…I know people are alergic to strawberries and strawberries are good and i am one, but to only meet this type of prople? I must say that i completly lost hope and decided to just stay away as for me recovering it takes a long time and my mind only have dark thought about me so I rather be alone then to keep going through that proces again. Soon I will be old enough not to care and hope for better in my next life I guess
I really wasn't expecting to get this mind blowing message on the topic of rejection. Regret is a much stronger feeling than rejection. Over time the avoidance of rejection will turn to the painful feeling of regret. But the real key is it's a luxury to feel anything. As a 35 y/o who's loved and lost, it's never been more important to make sure that I just love life so I don't risk carrying the pain of regret in my heart.
Matthew, I'm 70 and am starting to think about men again after losing my husband 4 years ago. Because I recently experienced an unkind rejection, this RUclips made such perfect sense to me. I still have plenty to offer to someone else, and now is not the time to stop looking... Thank you.
This incredible 70 year old woman is strong enough to put herself out there after her husband's passing, and not only that - she faced rejection and still has a positive outlook on life and wants to meet someone else.
And here I am, crying over a boy who decided he no longer loves me or sees a future with me even though he promised me the world.
Oh man.
How about spending time in solitude rather than constantly being with a partner?
Listen to him! I’m 47 and have lived with the pain of one rejection. It hurt so bad because I put my heart on the line and was massively rejected. Though I did find a nice man and married him, the rejection stayed with me and ultimately made it hard to for me to be vulnerable. Don’t waste time on rejection. You have to find a way to heal. Don’t let it stop you from living a good life.
Courage doesn't exist without fear. Courage is being afraid and still standing up to your fears.
What if the person said & did all the tight things, reeled you in hard & then without warning flee? It is hurtful. Plain & simple. We are all human. The process to heal is very long, and depending on the dynamic can take a great deal of time & effort.
This was exactly what I needed today I'm 24 and there are things I regret not doing as a teenager but now I'm going to take advantage of what I have
What do u regret not doing?
John Carry due to being overly obedient i feel today that i should have taken more risks and enjoyed more of the free time i had than always being strictly responsible
May Sal I completely understand! I feel the same way.
+May Sal that's exactly what I'm doing and I'm 17😓
May Sal I feel you... I always felt a step behind all my friends when it comes to love life. I still feel it's hard for me to live life at its fullest, since I've always been so "obedient", but I'm trying
Now that I’m done crying with regret I better go shopping for some hot new clothes and make way to talk to someone.
Since I started watching your videos about 2 months ago, I realize that I’m happier, much more confident with myself and all my nutty issues that grew stagnant are making me yawn .
I’m glad I found your channel; I definitely feel much better about moving forward with my life in a proactive way..
thank you and god bless you.
Thank you for this. I’ve been dumped/rejected recently, and while I’m still devastated and exhausted from the repeated rejections, I resonate with you on how much regret should be feared more. I just need to rest my heart, work on my self-esteem and remind myself to take small risks everyday. That it’s ok to pause and embrace the pain and loneliness but to not be crippled by fear. I’ve leaning in to your videos lately to heal myself. Thank you Matthew
You are needed. You are beautiful. You are appreciated.
don't live in the false luxury that you have too much time to wallow in your insecurities and the pain inflicted on you by others...
live like you have a gun to your head!
I wish I had heard this a decade ago at 30. My decade is a big hole of regret and that person has no idea. I lost out and it's my regret to carry. Don't be afraid people!
I want to tell you there is still time. Who knows maybe tommorrow you will run into somone who sees you as a great person they want to be with! It's never too late to act after a lesson learned! You can do it!
So what happened? Are you over 40 and have no man or kids?
Beth Hua You are hearing it at a perfect time. No more regrets.
Beth Hua How are you doing and feelin now?
There is never too late ..till you have a life..There is "No Age" for geting true love.Best Wishes To You !!
I’m the hypothetical 35 year old spoken about in the video who spent the last 10 years not living life due to fear of rejection. Powerful video. Thank you host and thank you whoever posted the video. Time to seize the day!
I’ve been rejected my whole life even my parents rejected me.and I’m 50 now and the rejection still continues . He is speaking for the average person and not people that have been rejected and feel worthless.
I hear you. Both parents rejected , and other family members. It’s deep rooted.
I so needed to hear this. I'm 49 and gave up about age 37 and trust me, it doesn't get better. Be strong, be brave.
+MindOfHerOwn hey im 37 now and thats the reason why i clicked ur name - just wanted to know more about u. and OMG what i found out....im greatful to u so much but at the same time im so upset now. i so knew that smth was wrong and im not communicating like other people. so mixed feelings...omg...
+Vic Atori i posted a comment on one of ur videos. i really would like to know if u succedeed to learn how to communicate less drectly over time, after u learnt that u have this?
+Vic Atori Wow, I'm super touched! First, that my comment sparked your interest and second that you learned something new about yourself from my videos (Is what I'm assuming). I don't know how to answer your question. Since I learned about "this" I have mostly been focusing on processing the feelings and then since then it's been more about rebuilding my life and embracing and expressing who I am. (Maybe I'm due for a new video update?!) If anything I feel like I try less to be or do what I think I "should" be or do, and try more to accept myself and work on myself internally and spiritually. I will look for the comment on my video. And thanks so much for reaching out. It helps me to know that sharing my story has helped someone else. And one last thing... it gets better.
+MindOfHerOwn oh so it does get better?;)
u sparked my interest no doubt, i also think its tremendously important what u post...because its so vulnerable...as for me im still shocked...
+Vic Atori I notice I feel a self conscious chatting about this here, but post over on my videos and I'll respond to your questions. I'm off to bed now. I'll be thinking about you. I know what you're going through, I really do.
Matt I wasted 10 yrs of my life thinking about one mans rejection (DONT DO THIS)! I hope ladies know they are worth so much more i sooooooooooooooo wish i would have heard this many years ago - WOW it would have saved me - thanks for telling everyone and this caller the truth and I very much hope they dont wallow in what could be the best years of their lives!
So true Matthew. I am 71 now and really wasted 43 years in two abusive marriages. Got out of the second one 4 years ago and have never looked back. I have freedom now I never knew. I did have a fantastic teaching career and supportive close friendships. I volunteer in many community programs. But denied myself a caring, kind and compassionate caring relationship hoping things would change. Matthew I have listened to many of your lectures. And would like to say like you do don’t invest too quickly. Get to truly know a person. Have they got relationship competency. I spent 2 years in breast cancer treatments and husband 2 ignored me, never went to any appointments with me and said not to talk about it. I was in survival mode but should of escaped. Oh yes during this time he went to a casino. Racked up a line of credit. I had fields of red flags. My advise: Get out immediately. You deserve so much more. Thanks Matthew for everything you say.
Matthew is completely right. Due to my ex husband I was traumatized to go out there and date. The thought of rejection crippled me. The pain he left behind killed me even though I was alive. He moved on quickly and now has a family. I wasted 4 years of not dating and now I totally regret it. Now I go out there and date. After a month of dating this guy it didn’t work and well this made me sad but after seeing this video I don’t want to give up.
I can't believe any single woman would ever reject Matt. He's such a classy, caring, successful, gentleman. I have a boyfriend but his videos help me make sure that I am always growing in my relationship, taking care of myself, and my man. I've always thought Matt had women drooling over him.
Queen of Carrot Flowers He'd been gone through so much. He'd been gutsy and courageous enough to move on and learn new stuffs. I wish to be as mature as him some day. :)
beauty is in the eye of the beholder really... with psycology some people love it like i do while others see it as strange, creepy and invasive like your purposly trying to prove something and being a know it all just because you like to understand the human mind, i constantly get called a know-it-all and "over dramatic" for it... and being smart i go through a lot of bullying and alienation because people are SO taken aback at how well i read people right from the off and that i even know how to read people that i'm suddenly just rude, insensitive and dangerous... i get this look from people like i'm a crazy psycopathic killer and they then tell people i'm weird and creepy, i don't try to point out anything about them though just whenever i express my interest in psycology then start to explain it when they um... ask me to... and i say a few things about how it works they then get extremely spooked lol, so it can be a problem for people, i mean it makes you wonder what they're hiding and compensating for but i don't really care :D lol, all i know is it's a great tool to keep away the crazies anyway... but then there's people who just find it insensitive even when we aren't trying to be... eh... there's just so much they don't understand.
Well then let me just tell you, I really like Matt as a person, but I wouldn't want to date him. So it's true, no matter how perfect someone is, it doesn't mean that everyone's in love with him/her.
@@FlyingMonkies325 dude, you on meth?
"So, how do you want to live your life?" These are the questions! Yes! omg
I believe rejection is a blessing in disguise. I was speaking to someone who I got on with really well. When we arranged a date and met he was giving all the right signs, telling me I looked nice and how he wanted to kiss me etc. I didn’t get physical with him on the first date and he couldn’t take this and because of this I didn’t hear from him again. My blessing in disguise is the fact that this guy was after a purely physical relationship and I wanted more. Always remember there is someone out there who will be the right one. Don’t let someone who can’t see your worth get you down.
I'm 55 - This brought me to Tears - I was just rejected by someone I really cared about. Time to start Living !!
I'm listening not for relationship rejection but because of the failed job interview. Well, I guess all kind of rejections hurts.Thanks, Matthew. I learned something from this video.
so do I. Thank you for sharing your experience. Matt'a words really helps myself so that I can change my point of view and reference place
Same thoughts here too... As he spoke i was thinking about why i stopped developing in my life in multiple ways, like personal and career, and while I thought about it and listened to him i got it... Self-evaluation and fear of rejection... Next step is to get to the roots of these kind of feelings...
Similar for me. I was looking for advice about rejection in general social situations. But now I am scared about how short life is. lol
Rejection is fine, I don’t know what it’s like from a woman’s perspective but I don’t like rejection from people who are unable to express it as a simple no and instead choose to ignore ( the classic - I’ll let you know) or plan things and then cancel them last minute ( this would be from people I have know for awhile not just a couple times). But that’s how people choose to conduct themselves, grow a spine and confront things instead of avoiding an awkward situation, it’s healthier for you and the other person involved.
These are exactly my thoughts.
This person that I've tried to date always play this hot 'n cold game.
Exactly! I am thinking the same thing!
Its' like once bitten twice shy. Heartbreak is awful it crushes you but get back up and fight for your life. Someone wonderful is just waiting to meet you. Dont' give your power away like this to someone who couldn't see how amazing you are
WOW, this really opened my eyes! "Not everyone is your audience" Matt, love you! Thank you, you're a smartie!
I gave Love a second chance after Separating from a 15 year marriage. This man broke my heart, I was not even given the decency to be told the relationship was over. One day I didn't hear from him, second day came and so on. I was battling with all these raw emotions. I was very confused because he pursued me, He made all these plans about our lives together, said all the right things and then he was gone. This message pulled the heart strings and I was sad. I was sad not because he was gone but because I allowed myself to feel Iess of what I used to be ...a beautiful, funny, spirited person. I mourn losing myself than the guy. Thank you Matt for this gift of being my catalyst in RECLAIMING myself.
The one who disliked this video would be regretting it for rest of his/her life..! Thanks Matthew..
WOW. The way he explained the consequences of ruminating over rejection is so dead on honest, I had to pause the video, repeat a few parts of it so I could stop and think about it. Because I’m going through this too. Thank you!
This guy is a healer.
I would like to share a story.
I had my exam and there was this girl who i wanted to talk.The exam started from 16th May and ended on 21st May. From the the first day i wanted to talk to her and maybe go on a date with her.3 days past.It was 19th and the girl was next to me outside the corridor taking some of her study stuff out of her bag.The golden moment was right there infront of my eyes.We were only two outside there and no one was around.And guess what i did.
NOTHING.
Did not even had the courage to say Hi.
I went home thinking i will talk to her tomorrow.
Next day.The same old me, did nothing.
Then the last day came.The exam was over.And there were many other student coming out of the exam hall.It was 10x times more hard for me this time.But it was the last day to talk to that unknown girl for me.I did not knew her name or which college was she from(It was our exam center and not my college).I was walking just behind her.She was in the parking area.It was on the open ground with the whole mass of students out there.And still somehow i mustered up the courage and said to her:
Excuse me,
she looked at me.
I said can you tell me from where did you got that bag from.I want to buy that same coloured maroon bag for one of my friend.She smiled and told me all the details and it was hardly approximately 25 seconds of chat. I was so overwhelmed talking to her that i did not even said thank you or bye before leaving and left the conversation open ended.I did not got her name,not her number,nothing nothing nothing.
But what i found that day in me was COURAGE.
I touched the fear in me and tried to rub it little bit.
From tomorrow onwards i strongly believe i am going to destroy all my excuses and face all the monsters in my head and face the demon face to face.
Fear is temporary.
You will overcome rejections with time.
Overthinking will not serve you anything.
Thats what i learned from this experience.
YES. I talked to her. And i was proud of myself that day and even now.
Some strange kind of an awakening happened that day inside me.
I feel like i am limitless now .
:-)
The amount of time you spent writing this really makes me hopeful you end up with her someday.
It was the best thing I have ever heard about rejection. We shouldn't fear rejection we should only fear regrets! I will definitely shear that great advice with my friend who is in the same situation as your caller. Greetings from Poland Matthew ;-)
are you sure? are you sure it's not his good looks? he didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. lol
This video is so great, just got rejected. I was actually thinking of closing up myself from the world. Am so positive right now!
We can’t control being rejected, just live learn and enjoy ❤️ fear shouldn’t stop us from feeling
That was really helpful thank you. I got the strength to survive another day
Sometimes I've been unsure about Hussey but hands down this is a Very good one..
very.
Same here
Me too. I hate this "get the guy" things with seminars and emotional manipulation that these kinds of coaches seem to love, but this one was amazing... it even made me cry. I think when he goes out of the "how to" mode he has amazing insights and it really felt like he was talking from his heart.
its not emotional manipulation i used to think so too, all it is, is understanding human psychology, and where men and woman are different ....., they re much the same as humans, and of course have equal rights, but are not exactly the same and never will be, thats nature-actually we are opposite, 2 peaces of the same, but opposite energies which can complement each other well, if understood properly.
I think in some ways he does this "guerrilla" marketing and this "how to" and "follow this formula", "send this text and you'll get the guy" and I don't get this approach because it seems simplistic to me and just a way of selling. I'm not saying his methods might not work, but I don't like that approach nor do I want to spend my money on that But when he gets out of that mode and speaks from his heart he says amazing things that are truly wise and useful. That's why I find his youtube material so valuable, it has some gems in there and this is one of them.
I wish I cud heard it 10 years earlier...I regret wasting my past 10 years..thanks matthew..better late than never.
Matt crushes it every time. He really answered the question in a way I never would have looked at it. Looking at it from the standpoint of time, how it's running out, and how our personality is a superpower to be shared with the world. That was great. Keeping that one in my arsenal for my philosophy of life.
Experiencing rejection is difficult when everytime you put yourself out there you get rejected year on year and you don't find any love in between.
Wow Matthew. This was the best video you've ever did! It was exactly what I needed to hear. I can't thank you enough! I've wasted 1 year soon after a guy I loved much chose another woman over me. .
I'm now 26 and just as you speak about I feel the luxury of time even though I can see it closing in.. I mean I'm not 16 anymore.. not 21.. but closer to 30. I just become a god mother to my brothers baby and feel like I should have a baby too at most 5 years from now. But in order for that to happen I have to find someone new and special one to share my life with.
I really want an enduring relationship and to be positive I was closer than ever before with the last man who I loved the most. We almost got official among everyone, he said he wanted to be a father in 3 years time and move in together with me but then he dumped me out of the blue and got together with a totally different woman who had kids already. They've gone along steady for soon a year and I've painfully watched their happy faces on pictures while crying. I have ignored men and just tried to heal but it's been difficult since depression and all the heartache from missing for him.
Now after your video I felt the right push I needed to end this misery and lift myself out of here. I'm now on gonna have a goal to go out at least 1 time a week among people/friends/date to meet folks and perhaps the real soulmate and love of my life. I thought I found him but he didn't felt the same about me and I got to accept that, ain't no going back from here.. he treated me like shit when he dumped me and didn't even call to talk things through or explain why he didn't want me suddenly anymore..yet he hooked me along with hope though saying "maybe things will get different in about up to a year from now" but that was just to make me a reserve #2 now I see..
I couldn't study or work at all due to concentration difficulties and I had trouble meeting friends or be good to family cause of bad mood since he broke off..
I'm tired of that and feel petrified I wasted so much time on nothing but grieving tears and longing for him to come back!
Now screw that, imma' go find happiness again, and I'll try try try untill I've tried all I can how hurtful perhaps more breakups even will be I got to put myself out there again! If I by 40 still won't have THE ONE I will at least thank myself for that I tried, right?
Once again thank you a billion times Matthew, thanks to you I now have a better mindset- you're the best!
P.s. If you see this.. do you recommend me your program " get back ex"? Even if I shouldn't hope to get back my ex you said this program could be helpful anyway to move along?
Je Enn - I know exactly how you feel its been a year since my breakup too and I still give my ex too much power. this video is fantastic and reminds us to live our lives and not let them control it.
we can all get through it and create happy lives for ourselves. just have to remember we don't want to regret anything.
we can both do it!
Naomi Ingram Hey girl, glad you wrote me! Sad to hear you also been through a rough year though.. it hurts so bad and we do deserve better, but its hard to understand it when that guy shows the opposite..
Last month i moved out and started going out socializing like crazy! I've been on 6 dates and met a ton of guys in the clubs who at least seemed attracted to me there.. i know its shallow though but some of all i've dated have been more in contact and perhaps are interested.. im not so into them though .. i still pine for my ex, but im trying to move on now for real.. ive just been sulking along and crying on my own for a year.. so now that im starting going out people notice me.. i'm like a princess in a castle just released.. i've had a whole lot of fun and new stories through all this socializing so i really recommend it and by the way, i've gotten 4 new girl-friends too! Which i totoally need and am happy about, expanding my circle of friends :)
I think this might be the cure.. i've done the innerwork and now its time to put everyting in action which i've done. I'm not on a hunt for "mr.Right" but if he comes along.. i can't sayim not open to it althoug hi still have low hopes for someone to be more glorious than my ex..
So yeah.. lets do this sister! I'm hoping for the best for you and that we'll find happiness and love again but for real forever :)
Like you said we dont want to regret anything so its better we TRY to put ourselves out there and see what we catch than to not try to get some "fish" (boyfriend) at all.. ;)
If you got skype or something i'd be glad to add you and we can talk/share/support each other through these harsh emotions.
Naomi Ingram Hi again dear, how have you been since last time we "spoke"? Hope everything is going well for you :)
What I find hard is when things seem to be going so great and the guy says how fantastic I am and that he's falling for me etc but then his communication starts to decrease and he's not as affectionate and then I just say one thing wrong and that's it, he breaks up with me. I don't get it
I feel you. Been there myself several times too and I hate it!!! Why's it happening? Matt, please answer us about this
Yes please Matt. We need closure on this to be able to know where we're going wrong and move on :)
Sometimes it's not your fault, guys lose his interest at anytime. That sucks I know. He is not the right guy for you, trust me. If he's for you he won't lose his interest, he will pursue you. The right guy will want to be with you. Forget about him and move on. I understand it's hard but keep thinking what we've done something wrong doesn't help. We have life to live.
You deserve better ☺️
Yeah you're right Komomo.
He said he really liked everything about me except felt I was too insecure. This was because of the fact that I questioned something he said to me. He said that he wouldn't be able to message me much one week because he was going to be working flat out on a building site, but I didn't really believe that. I mean surely he'd get a lunch break and be able to send one message for example to say "hope your day is going good beautiful", like he did in the beginning?
I felt he may have been trying to get out of the relationship a bit but he insisted it wasn't that and he was just really busy so I gave him the benefit of the doubt but as the week went on I felt so neglected because even in the evenings his communication had decreased, it wasn't as affectionate, sometimes with no kisses when he'd normally put about 10! Although he did say that he had no time even for himself but I just didn't buy it and when I asked for a bit of reassurance that he wasn't avoiding me and that he did still like me, he absolutely flipped out at me. He said I wasn't listening to what he had said to me a few times about his work. He said "you can't handle my work ethics", but it wasn't that at all. I was really civilized when I was asking him about things to try and understand and get that reassurance from him, but he just got angry and said he couldn't be with me anymore because I'm too insecure. I was shocked by his response really and how quickly he could dump me without even trying to discuss things. He didn't wanna know me after that, which hurt me a lot because we had started to become really good friends as well.
I feel so hurt, angry and confused by his actions. I feel he led me on big time and then used the excuse of me being insecure to end things with me. I think he was chatting to another girl or girls and found someone he liked more. That's my gut feeling :(. The frustrating thing is to start off with he was so amazing. Almost too good to be true. He was a bit too full on though saying he wanted to get serious with me and even have babies with me after 3 days! it was all too fast too soon I think. After our first skype which lasted for 5 hours he said he was falling for me big time and I really believed him. Oh well, I guess that's what you get when you go for someone 10 years younger than you. I think he was very immature and has a lot to learn about women and how to treat them!
Lucy A oh wow! I really feel you as i experienced the same thing! I think when we also like someone, we expect too much from him and we became so nagging and he thinks that we are so annoying with that behaviour so he made up so many excuses to avoid us. Thats just being so typical guys I guess. And he knew that we really like him. I really can feel you Lucy. I hope we can find someone better!! Kisses :*
Most of us don’t know how long we have on this earth, while some truly know how short life is. Don’t let fear rob you of your life. One closed door means you have another door you are free to open!
“No rejection can be as painful as the regret you’ll feel later on.” - Mathew
Love that "not everyone is your audience ". Hmmmm🤔
i am 28.... this video is eye opening
I feel like this is the deepest, most insightful advice Matthew has given so far.
When in doubt, remember that you actually spoke out and told them how you felt. you've got this!
"Small risks every day" Awesome advice:-)
Fear regret more than rejection..small risks everyday..thanks Matt, im 22 and need to use this!❤️
Holy fuck...this is so profound I just saved this video on my "Profound" youtube playlist. This will be remembered. Thank you!
The most powerful rant I've ever heard. Thank you Matthew for putting this out to the world, and thank god I stumbled upon it.
Dude, I wish i could have heard this, 10 years ago.. keep up the good work..!
Matthew, you've seriously developed some depth and that is NOT, in repeat, NOT a backhanded compliment. I really enjoyed this video♡
This was the most powerful session ever. Wow. It was passionate, raw and real.
This is the greatest advice I have ever heard and it makes so much sense. I think you just single-handedly ripped out the source of my despair.
This really hit home, in not just a relationship stand point but in a life point as well. Thank you.
you are really smart. I don't say that to most people
Rejection upon rejection upon rejection can really wear a person down. Being rejected is now embedded deep within my psyche.
This just changed my total mindset on rejection. Like, literally I’m feeling 100x better! 🙌🏾 Thanks!!!
You have helped me through the most darkest days of my life. Ive been listening to you over and over again. Youre a very insightful man. I love your manner of teaching, keep up the good work.