Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss | TED

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  • Опубликовано: 13 июл 2017
  • The hard choices -- what we most fear doing, asking, saying -- are very often exactly what we need to do. How can we overcome self-paralysis and take action? Tim Ferriss encourages us to fully envision and write down our fears in detail, in a simple but powerful exercise he calls "fear-setting." Learn more about how this practice can help you thrive in high-stress environments and separate what you can control from what you cannot.
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Комментарии • 1,7 тыс.

  • @omicron942
    @omicron942 6 лет назад +6400

    Dude that quote... "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life". That's brilliant.

    • @instantentertainment9351
      @instantentertainment9351 6 лет назад +25

      Love it

    • @user-ez5vq9fd2t
      @user-ez5vq9fd2t 6 лет назад +86

      There is a very similar quote (don't know the source) that says something along the lines of, "If you do only what is easy, life will be hard. If you do what is hard, life will be easy."

    • @dpaganuccipag1700
      @dpaganuccipag1700 6 лет назад +4

      Om

    • @SamuelEiche
      @SamuelEiche 6 лет назад +108

      "I've never met a strong person with an easy past."

    • @user-ix1tb6dp8e
      @user-ix1tb6dp8e 6 лет назад +1

      Omicron942 you are right

  • @fajzulin
    @fajzulin 5 лет назад +1909

    Another very good one is:
    Good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with.

    • @jaceydurland9098
      @jaceydurland9098 3 года назад +13

      That's a really good one.

    • @antoinetournecuillert1099
      @antoinetournecuillert1099 3 года назад +7

      Hard choice, easy life / easy choices/ hard life

    • @mohammadazzam269
      @mohammadazzam269 3 года назад +4

      Thanks for the quote !

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      "Good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with."
      We won't notice if something is bad - through Deficiency motivation.

    • @raymondyap6412
      @raymondyap6412 3 месяца назад

      That is a more elaborate version of "Easy choice, hard life. Hard Choice, easy life" Or maybe it is the other way around. "Easy Choice, hard life. Hard choice, easy life" is an abbreviation of "Good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with."

  • @claudio6032
    @claudio6032 6 лет назад +2344

    Now i know why Bruce Lee said: “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”

    • @Shotgunster
      @Shotgunster 3 года назад +18

      I'm not sure but he probably was quoting someone from the ancient ones.

    • @Fujtajblus
      @Fujtajblus 3 года назад +31

      @@Shotgunster At the end of the day, it does not matter who said it, only that this wisdom is carried to the future for others to learn from it.

    • @2livenoob
      @2livenoob 3 года назад +3

      JFK.

    • @pileofashes85
      @pileofashes85 2 года назад +6

      I think I've heard this quote in meditations by Marcus Aurelius

    • @BearfootBrad
      @BearfootBrad Год назад

      I thought this was jfk

  • @cliffhanley2120
    @cliffhanley2120 3 года назад +724

    "I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Mark Twain.

    • @sarahhussam2759
      @sarahhussam2759 Год назад +4

      haha i love this

    • @tahitihawaiiblue
      @tahitihawaiiblue Год назад +1

      😂

    • @antoniao7439
      @antoniao7439 Год назад +2

      Ooooo i finally get that quote

    • @williampittard
      @williampittard Год назад

      .

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад +10

      He also said:
      Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
      Mark Twain
      In most cases the man's life is about equally divided between happiness and unhappiness. When this is not the case the unhappiness predominates-always.
      The Mysterious Stranger by Mark Twain
      Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
      MARK TWAIN, The Mysterious Stranger

  • @thechxshirecat
    @thechxshirecat 6 лет назад +7216

    "we suffer more in our imagination than in reality" this is so true tho

    • @fab211
      @fab211 6 лет назад +99

      MayainWonderland I saw something similar somewhere else,
      "99% of the things we worry about never actually happens"

    • @humbaleeyours
      @humbaleeyours 6 лет назад +14

      story of my life! lol

    • @vihangsupare95
      @vihangsupare95 6 лет назад +50

      Not making this up but I can relate to the quote so much that I literally cried after pausing the video.

    • @AlbertoGonzalez-uu9sb
      @AlbertoGonzalez-uu9sb 6 лет назад +18

      I know, I have always pictured worst case scenarios, thinking they would become reality and I started writing them three years ago. The other day, when I looked at them again, I saw that none of them were founded fears, none of them have become my reality. Still, I find it hard to manage anxiety; I do not have it figured out. In words of Jorge Luis Borges; " I worried more that I should have".

    • @ARichardP
      @ARichardP 6 лет назад +15

      So true.
      Our minds are stoked with fear, be it from biological, evolutionary, familial, religious, political or cultural sources. It's helpful to make the harder choice to work to "get behind" the mind so we can observe it doing this worrisome dance. And then not get involved in that never-ending conversation. The mind keeps making stuff up like an attention-hounding noise-spewing geyser. What a relief to just watch it and not be hooked into mistaking that display for who we are.

  • @2MuchSwag4Funzies
    @2MuchSwag4Funzies 6 лет назад +7137

    Watched this talk today and asked out a girl I've been crushing on for months cuz of this. Turns out she's been crushing on me too. powerful talk.

    • @oreo8373
      @oreo8373 6 лет назад +111

      ❤🔥

    • @2MuchSwag4Funzies
      @2MuchSwag4Funzies 6 лет назад +207

      NIKS POSITIVE people avoid being positive because they're scared of getting hurt. That's why the importance of Stoicism is huge in this talk. This girl is drop dead gorgeous btw, I never thought she'd even crush on a guy like me. Positivity goes a long way.

    • @stm12p
      @stm12p 6 лет назад +413

      i did the same thing today. Got rejected tho. I guess I gotta stay stoic.

    • @ImOutsideTheBox
      @ImOutsideTheBox 6 лет назад +75

      Well done man! Now you'll discover the REAL hard part which is building a relationship haha, but that's OK because it means your learning and you'll have a great time

    • @2MuchSwag4Funzies
      @2MuchSwag4Funzies 6 лет назад +170

      stm12p hey man but at least now you know, rather than regretting you never tried. And who knows, maybe she'll see you differently in the future, I've seen it happen. Rejection isn't really the end

  • @HarveyBirdMans
    @HarveyBirdMans 5 лет назад +1564

    "The only time a man can be brave is when he's afraid" -Ned Stark

    • @MrCmon113
      @MrCmon113 4 года назад +5

      When you need to rely on the bravery of others you don't mean that you want there to be some inner struggle, you want them to stand fast. Whether that is because they overcome their fear or because they had none to begin with is irrelevant.

    • @wiseauserious8750
      @wiseauserious8750 4 года назад +2

      Great quote 👍 it's important not to lose your head over the fear of life's challenges

    • @Ray2311us
      @Ray2311us 4 года назад +1

      marvin harvey FACTS

    • @SquidCena
      @SquidCena 3 года назад +1

      @Laughing Out Loud No one said anyone was more brave than anyone?

  • @moritzschroder
    @moritzschroder 6 лет назад +938

    almost 3 years ago i sat in the car, driving to an interview for a job i didnt want, in a profession i didnt care about. during that drive i listened to the tim ferriss show and it was so insipring that when i eventually arrived at the interview, i had already decided that i wouldnt take the job. instead i moved to stockholm, recently started my own personal development company, grow my youtube channel and am happier than i ever would have been otherwise. thank you, tim!

    • @SaharaKnoblauch
      @SaharaKnoblauch 5 лет назад +7

      good for you! 🔥🙌

    • @englishjosh
      @englishjosh 5 лет назад +7

      I feel as though I'm in a similar boat. It would be good to discuss more with you dude

    • @DanielsPengetips
      @DanielsPengetips 5 лет назад +2

      Good for you!

    • @hantzleyaudate7697
      @hantzleyaudate7697 4 года назад +4

      Wolkify hey, would you need any help with building software for your people? I develop apps and websites, have you thought of online courses?

    • @m4ri5a8
      @m4ri5a8 4 года назад +1

      Congratulations

  • @Musashi246
    @Musashi246 6 лет назад +2638

    What if I...?
    Define:
    All of the 10-20 worst things that
    could happen if you take the step.
    Prevent:
    What could I do to prevent each of
    these points to happen or decrease the likelyhood?
    Repair:
    If the worst case scenario happen what
    could you do to repair the damage (even a little bit) or who could I
    ask for help.
    _________________________
    What might be the benifits of an
    attempt or a partial success? (Higher discipline, skills...)
    -________________________
    The cost of inaction: (Emotionally,
    physically, financially, etc.)
    6 Months:
    1 Years:
    3 Years:

  • @singlachirag12
    @singlachirag12 6 лет назад +343

    Two things this talk taught me:
    "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices easy life"
    "We suffer more in imagination than in reality"

    • @Gapetz
      @Gapetz 3 года назад +6

      Did you only took the quotes out?

    • @anatoligorianski3395
      @anatoligorianski3395 3 года назад +4

      Lazy

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      What happens when suffering becomes reality?

    • @Learned333
      @Learned333 3 месяца назад +1

      Is not the continued exercise of "fear setting" going to be the real teacher, and not some quotes? Quotes led Tim Ferris like a bread crumb trail to real solutions.

  • @Breathewithbrock
    @Breathewithbrock 5 лет назад +662

    What I love about Tim is his complete LACK of ego. We often think business mogels/athletes/actors are these bulletproof individuals that have no problems, but they are struggling with things just like us. That's encouraging to me.

    • @realemmareid
      @realemmareid 4 года назад +4

      I love that too

    • @teno777
      @teno777 4 года назад +22

      Everyone has an ego, it’s just some people have learnt how to temper it.

    • @exploitedfight8081
      @exploitedfight8081 4 года назад +23

      Oh he definitely has an ego. You can see it in his facial expressions. But he's very calculating at what he's showing/saying

    • @SmallSpoonBrigade
      @SmallSpoonBrigade 3 года назад +4

      @@exploitedfight8081 keep in mind that he's known for pushing his responsibilities onto others while reaping the reward.

    • @RajendraSingh-wh4pn
      @RajendraSingh-wh4pn 3 года назад +2

      Before achieving success everyone struggles atleast once!

  • @50interviews
    @50interviews 6 лет назад +221

    At 3 mins into his talk, Tim defines stoicism as "an operating system for thriving in high-stress environments and making better decisions." Brilliant!

    • @Plasmafox
      @Plasmafox Год назад

      Stoicism is how an Emperor justifies slavery by declaring that the slaves can simply choose to be happy.

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      That is definition of mental health.
      Stoicism is being trapped into crap fitting to abuse and toxicity and pretending you are covered with rose petals.

  • @TasTheWatcher
    @TasTheWatcher 6 лет назад +1528

    "I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"

    • @janvanhof1469
      @janvanhof1469 6 лет назад +9

      Let's give everyone a heart-plug :)

    • @Fred0014Channel
      @Fred0014Channel 6 лет назад +15

      David McGhee The Dune

    • @gabogalaiz
      @gabogalaiz 6 лет назад +3

      David McGhee god dammit that's harsh

    • @hanswoast7
      @hanswoast7 6 лет назад +30

      Thanks for this quote, dude. It's a nice one :)
      Source:
      “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that
      brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to
      pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the
      inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be
      nothing. Only I will remain.”

      Frank Herbert,
      Dune(#1)

    • @KrittinKalra
      @KrittinKalra 6 лет назад

      David McGhee Thanks for the quote

  • @deanbrown1591
    @deanbrown1591 3 года назад +163

    "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

    • @nayad1129
      @nayad1129 3 года назад +4

      Thanks! some people like me around here needs to remind this from time to time..

    • @maychellelabitoria1390
      @maychellelabitoria1390 Год назад +4

      Matthew 6:34

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      This is the same as to say to depressive person not to be sad. And to smile.
      Worry is much more complex than this.
      If we do not use our brain, we will be zombies. Overthinking is not pathology.
      When we worry there is real true external factor such as toxic people who manipulate and control us - for the very reason we do not think nor doubt them.

  • @mrbarkan
    @mrbarkan 6 лет назад +323

    Going to watch this everyday until it sticks to my brains. Thank you Tim.

    • @BeFreeHugATree
      @BeFreeHugATree 5 лет назад +6

      Did it ever stick?

    • @Praying_ManTas
      @Praying_ManTas 5 лет назад +15

      @@BeFreeHugATree Actually it got stuck in his brain, causing it to clot. This lead to death.

    • @realemmareid
      @realemmareid 4 года назад +3

      still watching?

    • @yashbhatla4329
      @yashbhatla4329 4 года назад +11

      The message that he wanted to convey is clear, instead of watching this on everyday use the table and transcend your fears.

    • @kasraahmadi8885
      @kasraahmadi8885 3 года назад +1

      good idea! It´s been 3 years since you commented this. I hope u still do this, when not, u can start again

  • @xxkarenp
    @xxkarenp 5 лет назад +96

    Last time I watched this video I was contemplating and planning to move out of state. Now It has been a little over a year since I moved. Better things came after I moved past the initial fear. Thank you.

    • @daniel4647
      @daniel4647 5 лет назад +5

      I think what you said here is more inspiring than the talk. I always try to move away, but after about 3 months I lose my mind and go back to where I'm from, where it's nice and safe. I'm thinking that if I just stuck it out past that it would probably get better. I think I'm going to try again, thanks.

    • @chocopieces9529
      @chocopieces9529 4 года назад +2

      it's been 3 years for me, still here. I'm doing steps to make that move though, thanks to stoicism.

    • @AliceP.
      @AliceP. 4 года назад +1

      So good to read this, it's exactly the fear I'm struggling to overcome.

    • @abudabisas
      @abudabisas 4 года назад

      wow im from town called palanga, hahha

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      Almost every mental disorder originates in childhood experience and originates as coping mechanism. When you are threatened with something, you would not be anxious, you would be afraid - as you should be.
      YT Dr. Gabor Mate

  • @plantbasedandpositive5477
    @plantbasedandpositive5477 6 лет назад +68

    "I realised that inaction was no longer an option for me" - This is so relevant for me right now, I am grateful that I stumbled across this video today. Great talk, I'll be using that fear-setting exercise :)

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      Inaction is Charcot Hysteria - it is not being lazy.
      Self pathologizing ourselves leads to personality disorder. Invalidating our emotions, experiences and pain leads to self abuse and narcissism - where we cover up our wounds, pretend they do not exist and then build up fake persona of grandiosity and perfection - that other people must obey and admire.
      In short - this is path to mental illness and schizophrenia.
      Very soon reality will hit - and the reason for inaction will appear again and again.
      Then we will be left with toxic advice to label ourselves as sick abnormal for feeling pain and harm - and we won't notice that toxic people, external factor - are the cause of our immobility and pain.
      This way toxic monsters like Putin and Trump stay in power - since zombies are preoccupied with self and narcissism and rigid mindset of scapegoating easy targets.

  • @redporkpadthai6368
    @redporkpadthai6368 6 лет назад +144

    This is way more helpful for me than goal setting. Depressive episodes have impeded my goals on numerous occasions and being able to tackle them from a different from the place of fear that they create is so much more helpful.

    • @lintang790
      @lintang790 3 года назад +1

      True for me too

    • @HarmonicWave
      @HarmonicWave 3 года назад +4

      That's exactly why the title drew me to watching this. I have all kinds of goals, even specific ones with time frames. But then I don't take action because I don't feel like I know how to do the next step and worry that I may get part way through a process and then have something go wrong, especially when other people (clients) are making big decisions. What if they change their mind and I get myself stuck in a complicated situation? So I don't do anything and the months go by and my goals keep getting pushed off into the nebulous future.

  • @pelosauve
    @pelosauve 6 лет назад +318

    My fears loose their power over me when I put them on paper and speak to another person about them.
    Every, time.

    • @Netbase2000
      @Netbase2000 6 лет назад +3

      Mine don't

    • @rameshhansaravendra
      @rameshhansaravendra 5 лет назад

      Nate Tube .
      100%

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 лет назад +13

      @@Netbase2000 What he figured out and does is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Read up on this. This is very powerful stuff that helps people with panic disorders and ptsd. This is more than just writing it on paper. What you do is a root cause analysis of this problem looking at fears, then rationalizing this bad approach like asking 'how successful was it for other people to avoid this action', the consequences if you can't change, the strategy to change like trying to do this differently (example: he talks about forwarding phone calls) - this is the part that you begin to get more rational about this, a positive reminder about this approach, a plan if you forget and get a little irrational again like how to get back on track, and reflection of this like thinking how you feel afterwards. You can add identifying the specific emotions behind your initial reaction and look really deep to figure out when you first started reacting this way. This will require a lot of focus for every action you evaluate - it might take more than 3 pages and it will take a few hours. It will require uninterrupted time - this is more than just writing on paper in passing or being distracted and focusing elsewhere. Do this right it will change your life. Check out the research on this.

    • @Clemsterful
      @Clemsterful 5 лет назад

      I concur. its effective with the person that earn the trust and all they have to do is listen.

  • @1989maihan
    @1989maihan 3 года назад +29

    His presentation was poetic! No pauses. It was fluid and engaging. I wish i could present like that one day.

    • @koushikmaji7998
      @koushikmaji7998 3 года назад

      Work on it, you will

    • @juliandsalazar
      @juliandsalazar 3 года назад

      @@koushikmaji7998 You will

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад

      Probably high on something.

    • @downbntout
      @downbntout 3 месяца назад +1

      Practice, as much as it takes. Public speaking is only a learn able skill.

  • @zspearl
    @zspearl Год назад +9

    I broke up with my partner of 9 years partially inspired by this talk-and I’ve never been happier.
    Generally a stoic practicer now

  • @Ryanspashai
    @Ryanspashai 6 лет назад +335

    The title caught my eye, interesting because I thought this was a bit pessimistic, I was totally wrong.

    • @therabbithat
      @therabbithat 6 лет назад +8

      ShowerThoughts positive thinking is the most harmful and damaging disease around at the moment, arguably the number one killer in western countries. don't think of a white bear

    • @EvanNDoan-ry8vf
      @EvanNDoan-ry8vf 6 лет назад +2

      +therabbithat omgosh.
      thank u . I feel so much less alone..

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 лет назад

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that is what he figured out on his own. This ted talk is basically how CBT worked for him. Check it out. It helps others with ptsd and panic disorders.

    • @mansourkibarabara464
      @mansourkibarabara464 2 года назад

      Hola

  • @jwh0122
    @jwh0122 3 года назад +25

    3 pages of fear-setting
    6:01 What if I ...?
    8:13 What might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?
    8:38 The cost of inaction

  • @Nmdresser
    @Nmdresser 6 лет назад +44

    Such a well-spoken, driven guy. Nothing is a better teacher than life and grinding through the struggle.

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад +3

      Nope.
      "The best teacher is the one who teaches you how to be your own teacher."
      Mehmet Murat İldan

  • @user-lq1yu2dz5w
    @user-lq1yu2dz5w 3 года назад +7

    after 2 years of growth non stop - i can say- this was the best tool i encountred on the internet. BY FAR , THANK YOU TIMOTHY

  • @TrNdke
    @TrNdke 5 лет назад +68

    Buddhism had been the best practice I've done. Similar concepts in Stoicism, but the point is that everyone needs and operating system and a way to update their internal "software". That's the only way you stop being blown around by the winds of change and start learning to ride the waves and set your own course.

    • @Suckyea
      @Suckyea 5 лет назад

      this last sentence man, is it your own or? because thats just a brilliant metaphor.

    • @dayelu6028
      @dayelu6028 3 года назад +2

      Buddhism gives you a way out of the matrix, a kind of ultimate way to existence. Stoicism still deals how to have a good life inside the matrix.

    • @EtherealBeauty89
      @EtherealBeauty89 3 года назад

      Daye Lu exactly. That's why I found the talk very creepy. It teaches you to function even more effectively. That is crazy.
      You deal with stress, but don't get rid of it.
      The guy even sounded like a robot to me. A lot of ego in there.

  • @zouhd7749
    @zouhd7749 3 года назад +9

    most impressed by: hard choices, uncomfortable conversations are more often make easy life.

  • @hankigoe829
    @hankigoe829 4 года назад +11

    1:25 "Many rounds in the ring with darkness", what a great line

  • @TaliShlafer
    @TaliShlafer 6 лет назад +18

    RUclips's algorithm for suggested videos couldn't be more spot on for recommending this video to me. I've been working on huge life changes in the last few months and have hit a point in the last couple of weeks where I'm feeling totally paralyzed by fear. This talk is already helping me start addressing those fears and feel like myself again. Thank you, Tim.

    • @avinash369
      @avinash369 6 лет назад

      Tali Travel may God give u more power. Amen

  • @andrewpride5230
    @andrewpride5230 6 лет назад +17

    I had no idea he had Bipolar Depression, have been listening to him for a long time. Powerful Tim, thank you.

  • @Maria70007
    @Maria70007 Год назад +4

    This talk only works in a very limited context. There are so many people who suffer trauma from reality - people of color post-colonization, rape and sexual assault victims, grieving family members who have lost a loved one, the countless marginalized groups whom the “meritocracy-based” Western system fails more than they can comprehend. To ignore your emotions or act as if you are making a bigger deal of things than you actually are is to deny being true to your experience. Emotions are a reminder that you are alive, and while they should be managed if they cause your life to spiral out of control, I personally don’t resonate with the ideology that to endure hardship without complaint is to cure yourself of any mental ailments. I’m glad this talk has worked for some people, but for anyone who heard this and thought it invalidated their experiences, I am here for you ❤️

    • @HackTheBeat
      @HackTheBeat 2 месяца назад

      thats not stoicism. please explain to me, how is it fear(emotion)-setting close to ignoring emotion? Its just the oposite.

    • @Maria70007
      @Maria70007 2 месяца назад

      @@HackTheBeatit’s been awhile since I posted this, so I will do my best to respond to your question from what I remember. I’m not saying it is bad to identify your fears - I just have a problem with the speaker’s framework in doing so. he is not saying to identify your fears in order to work through them. He’s giving tips on how to disprove them or prevent/reduce their likelihood. However, plenty of people have fears that are rooted in reality rather than hypothetical scenarios, things that are out of their control, things they have experienced and still have not recovered from. There are different ways to process emotions, and the method this speaker is proposing cannot be used equally for all fears, because sometimes you have to sit in it. If you have been traumatized, if you more susceptible to exploitation in your life, or if you are in grief, you need to be able to validate and process your fears in order to move forward. Running away from your fears when they are embedded in you does not work

    • @HackTheBeat
      @HackTheBeat 2 месяца назад

      I agree with your viewpoint. Different problems, different solutions. I misunderstood your previous comment. Thank you @@Maria70007

    • @lisatomei9664
      @lisatomei9664 Месяц назад

      @@Maria70007 I can feel your pain through your words. Specifically, you seem to latch on to "grief" as something having been experienced by all marginalized society members--I think it's important to understand that grief is not an emotion, but a "state" and can only be gone 'through' - my reply is more to your saying how fears are rooted in reality and each one of us creates our perceived "reality" based on our experiences, and it's not to say you can just run from fears, but you can identify, become aware, and CHOOSE to be less fearful. More faithful.

  • @AliceP.
    @AliceP. 4 года назад +28

    I've been unhappy with the place I live and the profession I chose for years now, ever since the beginning of college - and it's been two years I graduated. I'm still 25 so my mind keeps telling me that this is the time to change things and be brave, so once more I'm planning to move to another city and start from scratch, but I've had these times before and I always give up after some months of planning because it is so scary. My father is willing to help me with money and/or support and he doesn't pressure me that much yet 'cause I'm young but I'm afraid I'll grow old and find myself in the same position. Of all the steps he described that last one is undoubtedly the scariest.

    • @sravanthkumarchintalacheru1359
      @sravanthkumarchintalacheru1359 3 года назад +2

      How's everything going now?

    • @muhammadisrarulhaq9052
      @muhammadisrarulhaq9052 3 года назад +1

      More Power to you main. Remember its about the journey, not the destination. So don't get scared of thinking what will happen, instead enjoy the process of you building yourself, only that matters man. Because as for results, we could be dead tomorrow

    • @AliceP.
      @AliceP. 3 года назад +7

      @@sravanthkumarchintalacheru1359 I did move to another city, it's been a little over a year. It's all been messy and I'm yet to find my balance, but I definitely feel happier. I always think of how interesting it is that I finally took the step a little before the pandemic broke - I would have been feeling miserable if I were still in my hometown, unable to leave the house. Almost feels like someone saved me, cause I don't know what my head space would look like. The place where I live now has a dog and lots of green spaces. I smile at least once a day, drinking coffee whilst looking at the landscape or playing with the dog. I'm able to breathe. Thank you for asking!

  • @boyandcatmum
    @boyandcatmum 6 лет назад +44

    I am so grateful these wonderful and courageous people so selflessly share their lives and how they overcame such personal and painful situations with everyone in the hope to reach someone out there. This was really helpful thanks Tim.

  • @sarahthemango4829
    @sarahthemango4829 3 года назад +7

    ~
    the moment when i realize that i did all of these fear setting techniques in middle school & thinking about all of this at my desk while doing homework changed my life forever~

  • @laukathy8464
    @laukathy8464 4 года назад +14

    This talk gave me the push for a breakup at the beginning of 2018. I've grown a lot since then and know it was the right decision. Thanks Tim!

  • @eliana93fer
    @eliana93fer 4 года назад +14

    Amazing TED talk, the fact that he starts by sharing that we once was about to kill himself I think makes the following speech much more emphatic and meaningful. Thank you for sharing!

  • @wolfferoni
    @wolfferoni 6 лет назад +22

    I needed this right now. Going through a depressive episode. Really unhappy with my life but I've spoken to therapists who never gave me this exercise to really push myself and see the damage that I'm doing to myself in the long run. Thank you

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад +1

      It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when they have lost their way.
      Rollo May

  • @ThePasindu
    @ThePasindu 5 лет назад +11

    The most impactful TED Talk I've watched

  • @lorenzoantonio5589
    @lorenzoantonio5589 6 лет назад +8

    Tim, if you ever read this, it's important for me to express what a brilliant speech you gave.

  • @GaberInc
    @GaberInc 3 года назад +11

    Watching this before my first day back at university in five years (dropped out last time due to crippling depression). Thank you for the continual electronic mentorship and helpful exercise, Tim. Time to buckle up and get this done.

  • @BrilliantBusinesses
    @BrilliantBusinesses 4 года назад +5

    This is my favourite Tim Ferris speech, I use 'We suffer more often in imagination than in reality' to help me make any kind of tricky decision - and 'Easy Choices - Hard Life. Hard Choices - Easy Life' is something I think about a LOT. Great work Tim!

  • @NickyMondelliniActriz
    @NickyMondelliniActriz 3 года назад +3

    “Easy choices,hard life.Hard choices,easy life”, this is so true! Hard choices are what bring the greatest results.

  • @GabiIaccovazzo
    @GabiIaccovazzo 2 года назад +3

    "we suffer more in our imagination than in reality" what a phrase. Makes a lot of sense. It is so real.

  • @thefilipinojoe
    @thefilipinojoe 3 года назад +21

    Life hack.. Always follow your heart, do what is right, and trust everything will be okay. Be fearless and know that your level of fearlessness is evidence of your faith in a higher power and the promise that everything will be fine if you follow your heart and do what is right. The more I have done this, the more blessings I have received.

  • @JPatelLive
    @JPatelLive 5 лет назад +5

    5:35 = Tip!
    6:35 = Exercise 📝👍🏾

  • @ms.shatinams.lin_beifong3687
    @ms.shatinams.lin_beifong3687 4 года назад +6

    I'm so glad that this video was in my search results on RUclips on goal setting. The past two years have been very stressful for me and just last year, got even more overwhelming through a betrayal. I've been feeling so stuck in life that I really have no emotion to anything that should be exciting. I only feel "alive" when I'm rushing against time to get to work or study for school but even then my head is not in the game. After dinner with a family member this past April, I've decided to move out of state and somewhere where I can feel again.
    Right now, I'm creating my list of fears as Mr. Ferriss suggests and hopefully I will feel something while I tackle my list. I know some of my fears if not most will cause me to come out of my comfort zone/survival mode. And I do believe this to be coincidental because today is July 14, 2019, exactly two years from the publish date of this video. :)

  • @msontopoftheworld
    @msontopoftheworld 6 лет назад +2

    Thoroughly following his process could lead to over-thinking; which can then increase stress, which leads to depression! Sometimes just "do" and deal with the fallout as they come. I wish him and pp who suffer depression/suicide thoughts the very best. We're strong and can overcome. 🌺🌸🌹

  • @pink1lipstic
    @pink1lipstic 6 лет назад +3

    I love this Tim, he's so inspirational whenever I listen to him plus all of the advice and suggestions he offers are easily doable. You change people's lives Tim, that's amazing!

  • @rahul8346
    @rahul8346 2 года назад +6

    ❤️ Summary ❤️: Write if you did decide to do something new, what will happen?
    Page1 - Fear Setting 🤔
    Define: list of bad things that can happen...
    Prevent: List of action that you can take to prevent the bad effect.
    Repair: Assume if worst case or the most feared thing did happen, what list of action can take to repair it.
    Page2: What you will gain? 🥳
    List all things that you may gain, example:
    New skill
    Thrill
    Experience
    Page3: Cost of Inaction 🧐
    In 6 months: what would be the impact on your physical, mental, financial health due to not going ahead with the decision in next 6 month time.
    In 1 year : same as above but for 1 year timespan
    In 3 year : same as above but for 3 year timespan
    All the Best 👍

  • @MandhanAcademy
    @MandhanAcademy 5 лет назад +92

    thanks God ! Highly effective Life changing Talk :) a lot of gratitude for Beloved Tim Ferriss :)

    • @redwarf8118
      @redwarf8118 3 года назад +2

      I Thank Tim not some imagined God.

    • @ethangunter9330
      @ethangunter9330 3 года назад +1

      @@redwarf8118 Let people live their lives...

    • @redwarf8118
      @redwarf8118 3 года назад +1

      @@ethangunter9330 don´t tell me what to do. I am just holding the mirror.

  • @mraz2685
    @mraz2685 4 года назад

    this is one of the best tedtalks I've watched
    literally cuts to the chase that fears must be faced and when they are faced they won't keep you stuck anymore

  • @--AnonymousUser--
    @--AnonymousUser-- 2 месяца назад +1

    The best 13+ minutes I spent in a long time!!!

  • @ravenonefiveninefour7689
    @ravenonefiveninefour7689 3 года назад +3

    This reminds me of when I was a teen. My parents were drug addicts and seasoned felons. I grew up telling myself often, "don't be like them". Worked.

  • @adhd2372
    @adhd2372 6 лет назад +6

    Very well said.
    Some points for those who want to take away some gold
    1. A stoic is not spock, not emotionally deprived
    2 The speaker idealizes a man who does nor allow fear to prevent or stall his decisions and action ;rather, he uses his principles and values to guide them
    3. Instead of avoiding fears and decisions that need to be addressed,DEFINING them, finding ways to PREVENT them and REPAIRING the worst case scenario that could come about, is an approach that could alleviate fears and give more clarity to the situation.
    3 Addressing the issue of inaction, avoiding something should be assessed on its long term outcome on one's life.for example, the speaker assesses the outcome at 6 months, 1 yr etc.

  • @NEWGREATNESS
    @NEWGREATNESS 6 лет назад +2

    This is by far and easily one of the best and my most favorite Ted talks. Thank you Tim Ferriss you have no idea how much I needed to hear this.

  • @aashimbhasin9757
    @aashimbhasin9757 6 лет назад +1

    "We suffer more in our imagination than in reality".Probaby the best thing I've heard this year.Very comprehensive argument!

  • @SpringHWhipple
    @SpringHWhipple 3 года назад +3

    Ahhh,Tim. Been following you and reading your books for years. Thank you for this talk, Sir. I came upon it again at just the right time. Solid advice. Great things to think about when having to make those most difficult decisions. Cheers to your continued success!

  • @osmans1694
    @osmans1694 6 лет назад +278

    When u do TED talk instead of Tedx that means u have made it in life.

    • @skincareceo
      @skincareceo 6 лет назад

      O s #goals

    • @kerryobrien6110
      @kerryobrien6110 6 лет назад +17

      TEDx is like the Fun Run at a 10K.

    • @jamesgrahamclas5204
      @jamesgrahamclas5204 5 лет назад +23

      Only way that guarantees you’ve made it through and in life is salvation and forgiveness of sins through Christ Jesus.

    • @paulomendes1193
      @paulomendes1193 5 лет назад +4

      I hope you're joking

    • @jov__ana
      @jov__ana 5 лет назад

      Paulo Mendes hahahh

  • @rio0323
    @rio0323 3 года назад +4

    12:27
    This quote really scared me and motivated me.

  • @elled10024
    @elled10024 6 лет назад +1

    Brave heart you have, Mr. Ferriss. So sweet. So good. Thank you for being you.

  • @mochammadmarsha4238
    @mochammadmarsha4238 4 года назад +6

    practical solution for procrastinators like me, or simply for those who might be too afraid of the downfall before they even try.
    excellent ted talk, one of my favorites

  • @ferramirez4570
    @ferramirez4570 5 лет назад +7

    One of the best Ted Talk i've ever watched!.

  • @mimib5913
    @mimib5913 3 года назад +18

    Cost of inaction. Wish I'd considered that 10 years ago. 20 years ago, when I was a kid. It really is worse.

  • @anasti555
    @anasti555 11 месяцев назад +2

    Mind-blowing conversation which popped up so unexpectedly. I am grateful to everyone who takes an action for broadening out TED-talks! Stay tuned and impressed ❤

    • @jessicaras4540
      @jessicaras4540 7 месяцев назад

      The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies.
      _Psalm 118:6
      "For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
      _ Isaiah 41:13
      “Cast All Your anxiety on HIM
      because He cares for you”
      _Peter 5:7
      “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
      _Matthew 11:28-30
      Ask God to help you and heal you, there is nothing that can’t be done by God, if you have faith, especially if you need help:
      “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
      _Matthew 17:20-21.

  • @user-qh8jv7yf9j
    @user-qh8jv7yf9j 6 лет назад +5

    Thank you Tim for one of the most impressive and mind-blowing speech I have ever heard. It has a tremendous impact on me. Thank you!

  • @TheScienceCube
    @TheScienceCube 5 лет назад +5

    This is to my students - "Easy Choices, Hard Life! Hard Choices, Easy Life!" Jerzy Gregorek
    I really hope this TED Talk is seen by youngsters as they prepare for life ahead. Thanks Tim!

  • @KarenKefauver
    @KarenKefauver 6 лет назад +1

    Tim, thank you. This talk is so important. To have someone of Tim's stature and influence talk candidly about his own struggle is incredible stride in national discussion of mental health.

  • @wondergirl2561
    @wondergirl2561 3 года назад +1

    Tim Ferries is a legend of modern life. He is always on the point, no extra words. A true strategist.

  • @CliffordStarks1
    @CliffordStarks1 5 лет назад +3

    Well done Tim! You took your weaknesses and turned them into your strengths. Learning to handle your fears and understanding them is very empowering 👍

  • @vidishasoni6585
    @vidishasoni6585 3 года назад +3

    Without any title references or relatability... this is the second time I'm hearing this thing Stoicism.
    The universe definitely want me to follow on that..👍👍

  • @lolasue1907
    @lolasue1907 6 лет назад

    Hands down the best Ted talk I've heard. I intend to incorporate the fear-setting exercise into my life starting today.

  • @ericaeng7270
    @ericaeng7270 2 года назад +2

    Super helpful - love that he gave clear worksheet / process to do. Who else has set goals before never to have made them or even re-visited them? I feel this process helps get to underlying reasons we will or won’t do certain goals or changed

  • @johnnys3501
    @johnnys3501 6 лет назад +34

    Such a cliche, but I REALLY needed this wisdom right about now...

  • @sarthakgupta072
    @sarthakgupta072 5 лет назад +3

    One of the best TED videos!! This is priceless.

  • @yuvrajm8364
    @yuvrajm8364 6 лет назад +2

    What a video!serious wisdom.going to rewatch it again.Thank you TIM

  • @Unruled_7
    @Unruled_7 3 года назад

    One of the best talks I’ve seen. I’ve started reading about stoicism and I wanted to see what this man had to say. Very impressive !

  • @NancySolariLivingFullOut
    @NancySolariLivingFullOut 5 лет назад +5

    Wow I love the idea of “fear-setting.” It allows people to move past hesitation and progress on their path to living full out.

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 лет назад +2

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - this is what he figured out for himself and described in this ted talk. There is research behind this method. The results are real.

  • @GlenHunt
    @GlenHunt 6 лет назад +17

    Coming from someone who has been where I am now gives this weight with me. I've never liked trite messages of hope, especially while I am embroiled in an ongoing battle with my own chronic psychological illness. This, instead, has reiterated to my mind that my #1 fear is confronting my fears while I am largely unable to manage them. First dealing with my fear of my fears is recursive, but as long as I can keep it straight this is a tool and modality I can use.

    • @a.m.5973
      @a.m.5973 5 лет назад

      Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which Tim figured out for himself and uses, is really powerful. It helps others with panic disorders and ptsd. There is a lot of research behind this.

  • @lefaek3720
    @lefaek3720 3 года назад +1

    This is one of if not the most amazing and effective talks I’ve ever listened to. Fellow ted talk addicts, listen to the talks with eyes closed and focusing on the words themselves instead of watching the video. I find it helps in understanding the message better. Even missing the visual media is okay.

  • @greenambles
    @greenambles 3 года назад

    Tim, your podcasts my daily commuting companion and running partner for years. This as expected, unswervingly on point. Good job.

  • @DraRed73
    @DraRed73 6 лет назад +6

    I listened to this and concluded:
    What am I afraid of? -> Nothing = Not challenging myself
    Thanks for the inspiration to find something to be afraid of.

  • @susanhansen9032
    @susanhansen9032 6 лет назад +4

    Where has this inspiring philosopher been all my life?

  • @ItsMeNotus
    @ItsMeNotus 5 месяцев назад

    THIS IS TIM FERRISS?
    I listened to this podcast 3 years ago, constantly rewatching so I could implement this. Now, I read his books and follow his blogs, and throughout all that I had no idea he was the one who did this lecture

  • @septamush
    @septamush 6 лет назад +1

    I love how Tim talked about the need to identify fears and even how to overcome it. You'd see that they are based on experience, even his books are also amazing! I’ve heard influencers and authors who does it too, even therapist that host podcasts like the Pioneers of Insight podcast, but not too many others.

  • @beverleyashton6807
    @beverleyashton6807 4 года назад +3

    Wow, Tim, you are truly AMAZING ..Thank You so much, for sharing this real philosophy and framework in 2019.

  • @chinmaysheth8860
    @chinmaysheth8860 4 года назад +26

    This is a lot like Dale Carnegie's book, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living", a good read for anyone.

  • @therealmonopoly5575
    @therealmonopoly5575 6 лет назад

    Fear stops us from being greater then we really are or think. When I feel fear at doing something ? A voice within me tells me to go for it and do it any ways. After the doing it the results are amazing and a increase to another higher level in my life. This the beautiful part about the results ? When you think back and say wow if I never made that move I would not be wealthy, I would not have this great career, this woman would not be my wife right now. Once you start feeling fear only means for you to push yourself and do it. Trust me your future self will be so, so happy of you doing that. Great video man I LOVE IT. 🔥💯🚨

  • @contemplateclips9325
    @contemplateclips9325 2 года назад +1

    This is the most beneficial Ted Talk there is. I believe that everyone in the world should see it.

  • @erickoontz6835
    @erickoontz6835 6 лет назад +3

    Happy birthday to Tim Ferris this Thursday!
    Happy 40th!!

  • @vinayseth1114
    @vinayseth1114 6 лет назад +914

    Who else just loves his head?!

  • @janetnetia4224
    @janetnetia4224 5 лет назад +1

    Amazing talk as always. I learn soooo much from Tim. He keeps finding better ways to accomplish purpose, happiness, health e.t.c.

  • @katekilgannon404
    @katekilgannon404 3 года назад

    You are even better than people make you out to be. Thank you for your calm and measured explanations.

  • @prod.hxrford3896
    @prod.hxrford3896 4 года назад +5

    "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."
    Wise.

  • @KasieMusic
    @KasieMusic 6 лет назад +10

    My favourite TEDS talk so far. So much wisdom in one video. Absolutely fantastic.

  • @benedetta8001
    @benedetta8001 3 года назад

    "The hard choices we most fear doing, asking or saying these are very often exactly what we most need to do. " Thank you, it helps me a lot :)

  • @joclark-careercoach
    @joclark-careercoach 5 лет назад

    So inspiring and I've used this tool to face my fears! Thank you Tim Ferris, you're my hero!!!

  • @kamifreeman5811
    @kamifreeman5811 5 лет назад +5

    The cost of inaction. This is intriging to me because it is something I always think about. 'What if I don't do this?"

  • @Katkiwi25
    @Katkiwi25 4 года назад +500

    Unrelated to the talk, but he reminds me of handsome Squidward

    • @kupamanduka
      @kupamanduka 4 года назад +28

      OH MY GOD NOW THAT YOU'D MENTIONED IT I CAN'T UNSEE IT ASDFGHJKL

    • @KoreyThatcher
      @KoreyThatcher 4 года назад +4

      SO MUCH YES

    • @cuteflygon
      @cuteflygon 3 года назад +9

      What an underrated comment...

    • @SquidCena
      @SquidCena 3 года назад +3

      Really?

    • @RahsaanBoone
      @RahsaanBoone 3 года назад +1

      lol

  • @3dgar7eandro
    @3dgar7eandro 2 года назад +2

    This is probably one of the most powerful and life changing videos I have seen... But it is no surprise it has only 3 million views... The rest of the world doesn't know how important it is to take action and to confront our fears 💪😌👌

  • @sebastianreyes1341
    @sebastianreyes1341 6 лет назад +1

    My favorite TED talk all-time