I hope you enjoyed my video, "Things She Says to Undermine You and How To Handle It! #Gaslighting" Watch this dating advice video next, "Gaslighting Examples! (When to Walk Away From Someone You Like)"👉 ruclips.net/video/4eJ9hCNP03s/видео.html Resources ❤ Have a situation you want almost FREE help with? Join my RUclips membership! $5/mth US, cancel anytime. Members' comments are shown to me first. Try not to make your comment a novella! Join here: ruclips.net/channel/UCEfwUiuU69mS19aJ_SveqDAjoin WakeUP2Luv GET AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND! ("Life-changing!" ~ Steve B. "Soon after finishing the program I got a girlfriend." ~ members.wingmam.com/get-women/ One-on-one coaching? Click here: wingmam.com/relationship-marriage-coach/ The only online therapy I trust FOR MEN! wingmam.com/online-therapy/ (Discount available!) Get Your Testosterone Checked! wingmam.com/blog/2020/02/10/fellas-do-you-have-low-testosterone/ (Discount available!) Or USE THIS DIRECT LINK WITH 25% WINGMAM SUBSCRIBER DISCOUNT: trylgc.com/anna HINT: Healthy testosterone helps with mood, energy, confidence, assertiveness, and weight management! There are fake AIs of "me" endorsing products; I only promote things I believe in through my websites (www.wingmam.com; www.members.wingmam.com) or in a YourWingmam YT video on this or my @WingmamClips channel. I'll never ask you to contact me anywhere else or ask for money. Those are impersonators using my photo and a similar YT handle. *Please report fake accounts wherever you find them.* Only official account for PayPal donations: www.paypal.com/paypalme/wingmam Love is the answer, people! Don’t give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. HOPE. God loves you and so do I! You got this. Filming inside til it warms up outiside! ~ xo AJ #allergictocold
Do you know my ex-wife? You have described her perfectly. Divorced almost ten years and she's still that way. Her life is falling apart, and everyone else is to blame.
Any sort of manipulation, or gaslighting towards me, well lets just say they're quickly in my "do not contact or give attention ever again" list. I give no second chances for people like that, or second chances overall.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
"Gaslighting is the fast track to Stressville, where anxiety is the mayor and peace of mind is a distant relative." (1:57) You have a wonderful way with words. I hardly ever watch one of your videos without getting at least a little laugh out of it. Thanks!
Why would you ever get into a relationship with a woman like that ? If she is questioning everything you say or do, trying to undermine you, she is clearly not on your side, and she needs to go -- IMMEDIATELY !
You might think it's that easy. Love,sex,dreams,hope,hoping against hope,commitment, responsibilities, dysfunction on her part,dysfunction on your part.....it's not so simple
That's a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist. Often emotionally damaged who are not total narcs don't consciously realize some of what they do. Regardless, it's a red flag. Call her out the very first time and if there's not immediate regret and change in behaviour, give her the kettlebell buh-bye
This is so true, I lived that life for 20 years, I thought it was me that was the issue, always trying to fix issues and questioning myself, always giving in to make peace. I was always unsure of everything and would never make a decision with out her knowing if I did make one it would be wrong so would follow unrest till I did it her way. I lost me for s very long time, never knew why I was so unhappy, till the day I found out she had been cheating on me for 3 years and cross that boundary, I woke up started the divorce and went through the heeling process, I then start to see the true, it wasn’t me it was her. I’m on the other side now and I’m so happy, may never be in a relationship again but so what, I live my life my way and now wake up with a smile.
Gaslighting: I know a bit about this. My late wife was victimized this way repeatedly by her mother (narcissism at work). It left her with most of the problems on your list -- many persisted for her entire life. It was painful for her and affected our relationship in many ways. After going through that, there's no way I could tolerate a gaslighting girlfriend. That stuff is poison! Energy today: outwardly, looks good. Can't get rid of a sense that you were fighting something, though. Tired? In pain? Hoping I am just wrong about that. Praying for you! -- Russ P PS/You've got an adorable little giggle! PPS/Church was canceled today due to icy conditions, leaving me at home with a couple very sleepy pooches and 3 pots of soup destined for the defunct "Souper Sunday" lunch which was to follow the service.I'd ship you some, but I doubt it would arrive well. ;)
Narcissistic parents do a lot of damage to their kids, so sad. Your wife was lucky she had you. Yep, like the pups, I'm tired, but prefer to focus on positives. Thank you for your prayers, Russ, keep 'em coming please! Freeze the soup! lol
She told me multiple times towards the last year of relationship too leave her as sges damaged gpods and i can do better etc...Not just Narcs gaslight , so do BPD and CPTSD etc..
I have had all those experiences many times with my wife. She says that I'm trying to gaslight her. She has a ton of past trauma from childhood and adult and I believe I triggered something about 4 years into our relationship. She did a 180 and continued to get worse. First 4 years were amazing now she doesn't trust anybody including going to get help. But back to gaslighting, it seems like the dream version of me is the biggest issue. She will tell me of a nightmare she has with me cheating on her or leaving her. Months later and it's "you cheated on me with my best friend last spring". Then a new nightmare and they just keep compounding on each other. I did start documenting them and when faced with facts she just went back to another one I don't have proof of it being a dream. She has stopped communicating to all her friends because they are supposedly going behind her back to get me.
Everyone automatically thinks that gas lighting is only done by narcissists... But like she said, it can also be done by somebody who is completely broken. I fell for somebody who was broken, and they manipulate you in a very similar way. The difference is they constantly use their past in their favor so you can continue to ignore their fallacies and games. It got to the point where everything she said about our relationship sounded inconsistent and I was the only one putting in the effort towards the relationship. As soon as I felt that I knew there was no hope anymore... It's either a 50/50 effort or say goodbye.
This is the type of problem I simply run from. If she can do that now, I do not want to be around to find out how far she can take it or how bad she can lie.
@@YourWingmam Thanks you 🙏🏾. I'm doing fine. I walked away so I could move on. Plus this happened several years ago and have had other relationships since that one.
My ex was an abusive narcissist who believed her own lies - not kidding. The good: I divorced her 12 years ago. The bad: The kids picked up some of her habits; they're grown up now and I don't know if they'll ever change.
Gaslighting affects one in the workplace and in social circles, but what I find absolutely unbelievable allows some greater clarity and discussion can develop. In the workplace I have noticed that gaslighting can happen in a hierarchy, where the more power or authority one has the more "gaslighting" is interpreted. If gaslighting becomes habitual by the person, it is likely the case that it is a marker of both lack of self control or entitlement. In general when we view events as comporting with a norm or pattern, the point is that it justifies or serves as an excuse. "hey" I'm not the only one who thinks this "gaslighter", convincing others that she or he are acting like others would. Thinking about social groups, generally, we would note or recall there were people that were passive and others that were more extroverted. In other words in social groups, norms or customs evolve and it is not so much about healthiness but rather about custom or what is accepted by a group participant in exchange for membership. If workplaces mirror social groups, the question about decomposing the learned behavior and reinforcing the change might be relevant. Gaslighters are not popular in the eyes of others which reinforces denail about the subject. So perhaps group activities reinforcing the opposite of gaslighting should be involved imo. It'd be great if HR people were proactively involved in social dynamics at work.
Always start from the incontrovertible foundation that she is less important than you and that she always needs to prove herself to you. Sound toxic ? That's because modern society tries to gaslight you into thinking you have to prove yourself to others -- especially women. Don't let society gaslight you, with the possible exception of your children, you are always the most important person in your own life !
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "no one can make a fool out of you without your permission." Meaning don't give the gaslighter the power to manipulate you. How do you not become manipulated? Don't care about what they say or do. If they do something you don't like you don't have to care about it which is saying you may not like her actions but you don't have to let it get to you. Learn how to shift your focus. Learn how to change your thoughts. Someone does something you don't like start thinking about something you want to do or enjoy like an upcoming movie or trip or game. If you don't give them power they can't bother you.
You don’t have to go on an emotional rollercoaster just because someone says or does something you may not like. You can think “I might not like their behavior but in this moment I’m not going to let them have my day. I’m putting my attention elsewhere” and shift your thoughts to something positive.
Very important for me: MAKE NOTES!!! Of what you want to cover and things said during an adult discussion Some women can intentionally or unintentionally overwhelm you with words and feelings to knock you off focus. Be ready for tears. It sounds misogynistic. Oh well. Tune your argument to the monthly cycle. I'm so glad we had this talk said no man to no woman ever during her lady cycle
Very articulate. Hopefully the law will catch up to Narcissism, especially covert passive aggressive Narcissism. Keep up the amazing work you do. I unfortunately went down this rabbit hole to include her daughter being passive aggressive... This behavior had to have been taught and reinforced. We need a new shirt logo "I’m with stupid--->"..."I’m with narcissist--->"
I agree with a lot of what Anna says, but feel that we are in an age where we are banding terms around that can be quite dangerous. Narcissist for example. I think pretty much everyone has narcissist traits of different degrees and that everyone is capable of a bit of what we now call 'Gaslighting'. For me this term really should only be used when there is strong preemptive manipulation taking place and is language that should be reserved to psychologists and only the most capable and empathic of therapists. In my opinion one should never call out someone as a narcissist. Some people are guilty of rotten behaviour towards others without even being aware of what they are doing. So much of our relational behaviours come from inner wounds that lay deep. If we are on the receiving end of bad behaviour we should have as much responsibility as the perpetrator when it comes to self awareness and to what dynamics are at play. Relationships can often be a calamity of messiness and the words we should really apply are 'How am I mature ?' and 'How is the other mature ?.'..or not.. All that can be exhausting, but either way we should aim to be kind where we can and of course importantly to ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! It's true that labeling can be complex, and self-awareness is crucial in navigating relationships. If you're interested in exploring more about maturity in relationships and enhancing self-awareness, you might find the WakeUp2Luv program valuable. It focuses on understanding and improving relational dynamics. Feel free to check it out .members.wingmam.com/get-women/ Wishing you insightful and fulfilling connections! 🌟
I can relate in a big way Anna.. experienced a lot of the trauma as a teenager and have been recovering ever since.. it put a huge dent in my life but I have survived and work on it to this day at 74.. thanks for all you do
Shouldn't it be gaslit not gaslighted? I've definitely heard the phrase I'm being gaslighted but it's also true that you go into a gaslit restaurant not a gaslighted restaurant.
Great topic that is so real with some people i have been incontact with. To solve any problems i get it in a text message. One can not wiggle out of something. I have a very good memory. What i have done i would say i want one to text any thing family get togeather. If i am dating someone and a narc. or psychopathic control freat i walk from them just like any drama qween. Family mrmber i would shorten time spent or in a controled enviroment to mimize any problems. Very good video
I think, that gaslighters not so common in relationships just because you avoid them first of all. But scumbags or gaslighters very often can meet you at work, at shops everywhere! And you continue across with them all the time in outside not at own relationship. Be aware gaslighters!
My ex girlfriend was like that and should have left her ages ago . She called everyone her btch . She was depressed and blame others . She gaslighted and minimize my feelings.
I am fine but i tell others not be disrespectful to me but i still hear the word Bitch in my head sometimes. I had Soul Ties with her in Coke cola toxic relationship and feel better now .
It's nice to be prepared for the gaslighting war a lady might bring to the guy. I have a question, Anna. Why do some people smile in awkward or uncomfortable situations, including in relationships? My guess is they are just being polite, making light of the situation, or maybe boosting their confidence. For example, a woman asks her man semi jokingly "You can't afford that truck! Aren't you broke?" and he smiles and laughs and maybe says "Don't worry. My piggy bank is my angel. " or nothing at all and just changes the subject. Do you think smiling with a mild laugh and a response like that shows he's confident and emotionally strong?
Great observation! Indeed, people often use humor and smiles to navigate awkward situations, showing confidence and emotional strength. It can be a positive coping mechanism. If you're interested in enhancing your understanding of social dynamics and relationships, check out my WakeUp2Luv program members.wingmam.com/get-women/. It provides valuable insights and tools. Wishing you positive and confident interactions! 😊🚀
@@YourWingmam sad... cause I fell for that trick pretty deep... But it all cam crumbling down when cops were called on my for "supposed" verbal abuse. I left her that night... but then she called my best friend to tell her that I was physically abusive towards her, I was jealous and insecure.... but she somehow waned my friend to convince me to come back... 🤔 And all this while she had started sleeping with another man, barely days after I had left... I had met her a year after going through a divorce. And if I'm honest with myself, she forced the relationship on my with the: "I'm gonna change my Facebook status, cause I'm no longer single". I am now single... and will remain so for the foreseeable future. You content is still rather refreshing to watch. Thanks for providing this content!
Thank you milady, another video to add to my "Run, Forest run" playlist. And now something completely different... Any chance to make a video with suggestions on what (or not) to focus on to increase chances to get a real date through speed dating? I recently went on one of those events and of course I did it totally unprepared. I mean what could go wrong? 😀 It was such a great experience, from pure panic in the beginning, through pride that I didn't run away screaming with tears in my eyes and sheer happiness afterwards when it was over and I realized that I did it. With hindsight, I spoiled my chances with probably two or three potentially good women that seemed to be interested until we started conversation which was not soo... Well, let's say that I didn't use well those 3-4 minutes one have to make a good impression. So, any chances to enlighten us on this subject?
9:15 Maybe a narcissist, or is ready to break down and admit that she's insecure or wrong. Kind insistence with the knowledge that you are winning is an option.
Okay, how is this for a gaslighting example; husband: you said you were lucky to have me, wife: no I didn’t or, husband : I liked that thing you did, wife: I didn’t do that, you must have imagined it. It appears professionals may be more likely to give advice to preserve the relationship than the mental health of the person being gaslit.
Was in your neck of the woods recently , cold, it must have followed me back to the smart asses cause mine is frozen. Gaslighting, what would we call it without the movie? The effort recognized would leave no room for confusion,I wouldn’t make a good target. Thanks
Why would believe what someone else says ? Believe in yourself, and always make them prove to you what they say that contradicts whatever you already believe is true. NEVER BETRAY YOURSELF by simply accepting other people at their word. Before you accept anyone's word, they must already have an established credibility with you -- which is always an on-going process of 'trust-but-verify'. The bottom-line is: Nobody can gaslight you unless you uncritically accept what they say.
Anna, I’m just curious how recent did you film this video was it; days ago, a week ago, or a month ago or two months ago let me know as soon as you can with answer.
Not being gaslighted. Being ghosted. I dropped the lady that was gaslighting me. I kept in contact with her occasionally but basically dropped her as a 2024 New Years Resolution.
All good comments for when both of you are willing to work on yourselves and your relationship. Otherwise get rid of the toxic person and move on to better. Or you can stay on the roller coaster ride until you've had enough :)
@@YourWingmam It appears I am looking for a unicorn! And that's ok cuz I love my life as is! So many women are not into self improvement...sad actually
Frankly: IMHO, if ANY ONE of those 10 signs is proven to be true, one should call it quits. That person is not a coworker you're stuck to cooperate with indefinitely; that person is not your mother or your child. Just quit. You can't correct/change/improve a toxic adult of this kind. No negotiations. And - sorry - no therapists (a therapist will only suck your money to prolong the obvious agony); that's their bread & butter.
Dear Anna: You know, for such a dark topic you were giggling quite a bit in this video. I like seeing you happy though, so all is good. Definitely seen gaslighting and I no longer care for it. I think the best thing to do if you are emotionally mature is to walk away once you spot it in a new relationship. It is not worth fighting that beast. One example you left out of things gaslighters do, they flat out accuse you of gaslighting them. They are just too much work. Wash your hands of them. Great video though. I like how you explain everything in detail and offer good examples each time. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into your videos, very appreciated. That is all for today. I hope you are having a great weekend and you have an awesome week. You have a beautiful smile and a beautiful laugh Anna. Hug and a peck on each cheek. See you next week.
Thing is with narcissism personality disorder is every interaction becomes about usurping. It's a game they're addicted to - they love doing it because the power thrills them.
The weirdest thing at work happened to me today at the liquor section long story short I helped this guy get a bottle of liquor he told me to hurry up he was tired of wating this girl who also wanted liquor said she works retail and she said you shouldn't let people treat you like that we had a brief conversation hadand then she told me she works retail and reported the guy for me and as she walked out I looked at her and said I appreciate it my sigma ways said don't try to approach this girl but i Think I might have fallen in love lol. I've never had a woman show empathy and integrity before. Maybe that meant she liked me? she didn't have to do Any of that she was really tall and really gorgeous so I'm thinking yeah no don't do it she's probably just a nice person
That's a unique and intriguing encounter! It's wonderful when people show empathy and integrity. If you're interested in exploring more meaningful connections, the Wakeup2Luv program could provide valuable insights. Cheers to unexpected moments! 🌟 If you’re curious, here’s the link: 👉 members.wingmam.com/~access/a2c2208f/
@YourWingmam I looked her in the eyes and said I appreciate it normally." I wouldn't do that, but I might have fallen in love at that moment just cause of her actions and wanted to approach lol
Great insights on gaslighting in relationships! It's crucial to recognize these signs and empower oneself against manipulative behaviors. As a fellow dating coach, I appreciate your focus on building healthy connections. Understanding these dynamics contributes immensely to creating meaningful and respectful relationships. Keep up the valuable content!
A lot of women will make a statement but not finish the sentence leaving you hanging trying to figure out what they are trying to say. It's really aggravating! Is this a form of gaslighting?
Thanks for the info on how to respond and how to take back your power. Depending on how much I like the lady, might just end the relationship before trying your solutions. I hope I don't have to, but now you made this video, I can refer to these solutions.
@@YourWingmam That's for sure. Everyday life comes with misunderstandings. Have an issue at work, which I now take photographic proof of my message book to prove if extra messages have been added after my arrival, then accused of not actioning the message. I exploded my temper in public at 2 of the nurses last week.
Love your videos. But no man is going to look at his girlfriend and say, "I just bought this new outfit. What do you think?". And if he did, he better hope his buddies never find out he said it. Lol.
Unfortunately nobody is perfect, and when you don't give a 2nd chance, you might be in a pickle. It could be that you think you are too good and too perfect for...
@@YourWingmam my apologies i wrote that comment in the wrong place, it was meant to a narcissistic comment that stated " we should never give a chance to a woman who made a mistake" it seems to me he's been taught wrongly. Again my mistake, but I think you are awesome. And thank you for all this hard work you do , to help others. That is very nice🕊 GOD speed🙏
I recently dated a girl who checked the first 3 boxes. Not quite a narcissist but a very broken individual and definitely untrustworthy. That relationship highlighted some major trust issues I have and because of that, she was a very unsafe person for me. It’s been tough to walk away but I know it’s the right thing to do. Not all women are terrible. Many are just broken and wounded, but I’ve learned that you still need to be guarded around them, set boundaries, and walk away if you need to. No matter how much it breaks your heart
Excellent self-awareness! Definitely a fine line between a narcissist and an emotionally damaged woman who is not a narcissist. We are all a little bit broken, but some of us can be healed and others can’t. There’s a delicate balance between being vigilant and staying open. Thank you for your comment!
@@YourWingmam that’s a great point to remember as well so I appreciate you saying that. I think anyone can heal if they really want to heal, but not everyone will because it requires humility, accountability, sacrifice, just basically not doing the same things that you used to do. It’s simple, but it isn’t easy, and some people don’t want to change unless it’s easy. Sucks when people you care about are like that
I hope you enjoyed my video, "Things She Says to Undermine You and How To Handle It! #Gaslighting"
Watch this dating advice video next, "Gaslighting Examples! (When to Walk Away From Someone You Like)"👉 ruclips.net/video/4eJ9hCNP03s/видео.html
Resources ❤
Have a situation you want almost FREE help with? Join my RUclips membership! $5/mth US, cancel anytime. Members' comments are shown to me first. Try not to make your comment a novella! Join here: ruclips.net/channel/UCEfwUiuU69mS19aJ_SveqDAjoin
WakeUP2Luv GET AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND! ("Life-changing!" ~ Steve B. "Soon after finishing the program I got a girlfriend." ~ members.wingmam.com/get-women/
One-on-one coaching? Click here: wingmam.com/relationship-marriage-coach/
The only online therapy I trust FOR MEN! wingmam.com/online-therapy/ (Discount available!)
Get Your Testosterone Checked! wingmam.com/blog/2020/02/10/fellas-do-you-have-low-testosterone/ (Discount available!) Or USE THIS DIRECT LINK WITH 25% WINGMAM SUBSCRIBER DISCOUNT: trylgc.com/anna HINT: Healthy testosterone helps with mood, energy, confidence, assertiveness, and weight management!
There are fake AIs of "me" endorsing products; I only promote things I believe in through my websites (www.wingmam.com; www.members.wingmam.com) or in a YourWingmam YT video on this or my @WingmamClips channel. I'll never ask you to contact me anywhere else or ask for money. Those are impersonators using my photo and a similar YT handle. *Please report fake accounts wherever you find them.*
Only official account for PayPal donations: www.paypal.com/paypalme/wingmam
Love is the answer, people! Don’t give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. HOPE. God loves you and so do I! You got this.
Filming inside til it warms up outiside! ~ xo AJ #allergictocold
I Love Your Videos!! Will You Be My Girlfriend? Lol 😂😆
Yet more reasons to be single!
This is a great subject but best used to identify the abuse. Good job Anna.
We always enjoy your videos. Even the ones that test us.
Do you know my ex-wife? You have described her perfectly. Divorced almost ten years and she's still that way. Her life is falling apart, and everyone else is to blame.
🙏 I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
@@YourWingmam me too! Thanks
Any sort of manipulation, or gaslighting towards me, well lets just say they're quickly in my "do not contact or give attention ever again" list. I give no second chances for people like that, or second chances overall.
On spot! One a gaslighter always a gaslighter......walk away.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
Yeah that's what you have to be like. If you've been brought up in an environment where gaslighting was the primary means of communication then you have a high tolerance for it, with a guarantee of unhappiness for life if you aren't very careful.
"Gaslighting is the fast track to Stressville, where anxiety is the mayor and peace of mind is a distant relative." (1:57) You have a wonderful way with words. I hardly ever watch one of your videos without getting at least a little laugh out of it. Thanks!
Glad you liked it and got a chuckle!
This is the most information - perfectly explained - in the shortest amount of time - EVER! Good job :)
Glad you enjoyed it!
Why would you ever get into a relationship with a woman like that ? If she is questioning everything you say or do, trying to undermine you, she is clearly not on your side, and she needs to go -- IMMEDIATELY !
You might think it's that easy. Love,sex,dreams,hope,hoping against hope,commitment, responsibilities, dysfunction on her part,dysfunction on your part.....it's not so simple
@@64maxpower No, not if your are that screwed-up !
@@alwaysgreatusa223 says you
@@64maxpower You have merely stated the obvious.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 lol
I'm glad you teach honesty and bravery.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
When you say they don't even realize they're doing it nobody's buying that. They know they're doing it.
That's a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist. Often emotionally damaged who are not total narcs don't consciously realize some of what they do. Regardless, it's a red flag. Call her out the very first time and if there's not immediate regret and change in behaviour, give her the kettlebell buh-bye
p.s. that's not to say they don't do it on purpose or at minimum deny it sometimes if not often
I think we all always enjoy your videos, there's always something new to learn.
I appreciate that!🙏
My ex was the grand champion of gaslighting.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
How do you share something like this with your son and not have him feel alienated? He's been brainwashed.
Love your channel. Very helpful
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
This is so true, I lived that life for 20 years, I thought it was me that was the issue, always trying to fix issues and questioning myself, always giving in to make peace. I was always unsure of everything and would never make a decision with out her knowing if I did make one it would be wrong so would follow unrest till I did it her way. I lost me for s very long time, never knew why I was so unhappy, till the day I found out she had been cheating on me for 3 years and cross that boundary, I woke up started the divorce and went through the heeling process, I then start to see the true, it wasn’t me it was her. I’m on the other side now and I’m so happy, may never be in a relationship again but so what, I live my life my way and now wake up with a smile.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
This applies to 90% of employers too.
You're AWESOME Anna. I enjoy your lessons and sense of humor
Glad to hear that. Thank you for your response, and don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Gaslighting: I know a bit about this. My late wife was victimized this way repeatedly by her mother (narcissism at work). It left her with most of the problems on your list -- many persisted for her entire life. It was painful for her and affected our relationship in many ways. After going through that, there's no way I could tolerate a gaslighting girlfriend. That stuff is poison! Energy today: outwardly, looks good. Can't get rid of a sense that you were fighting something, though. Tired? In pain? Hoping I am just wrong about that. Praying for you! -- Russ P PS/You've got an adorable little giggle! PPS/Church was canceled today due to icy conditions, leaving me at home with a couple very sleepy pooches and 3 pots of soup destined for the defunct "Souper Sunday" lunch which was to follow the service.I'd ship you some, but I doubt it would arrive well. ;)
Narcissistic parents do a lot of damage to their kids, so sad. Your wife was lucky she had you. Yep, like the pups, I'm tired, but prefer to focus on positives. Thank you for your prayers, Russ, keep 'em coming please! Freeze the soup! lol
She told me multiple times towards the last year of relationship too leave her as sges damaged gpods and i can do better etc...Not just Narcs gaslight , so do BPD and CPTSD etc..
You have described my ex to the last detail! Taken a long time to get over it.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
I have had all those experiences many times with my wife. She says that I'm trying to gaslight her. She has a ton of past trauma from childhood and adult and I believe I triggered something about 4 years into our relationship. She did a 180 and continued to get worse. First 4 years were amazing now she doesn't trust anybody including going to get help. But back to gaslighting, it seems like the dream version of me is the biggest issue. She will tell me of a nightmare she has with me cheating on her or leaving her. Months later and it's "you cheated on me with my best friend last spring". Then a new nightmare and they just keep compounding on each other. I did start documenting them and when faced with facts she just went back to another one I don't have proof of it being a dream. She has stopped communicating to all her friends because they are supposedly going behind her back to get me.
People will Treat you the Way you let them.
Thanks!
You're most welcome!
And thank you! 🥰🙏
Excellent excellent and spot on.
Everyone automatically thinks that gas lighting is only done by narcissists...
But like she said, it can also be done by somebody who is completely broken. I
fell for somebody who was broken, and they manipulate you in a very similar way. The difference is they constantly use their past in their favor so you can continue to ignore their fallacies and games. It got to the point where everything she said about our relationship sounded inconsistent and I was the only one putting in the effort towards the relationship. As soon as I felt that I knew there was no hope anymore... It's either a 50/50 effort or say goodbye.
This is the type of problem I simply run from. If she can do that now, I do not want to be around to find out how far she can take it or how bad she can lie.
usually for the best!
@@YourWingmam Absolutely!
I can relate. My ex has completely forgotten that she was cheating on me with a man who financed her part in the divorce. She later dumped him.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Had to walk away from a relationship because of example No.7 happening too often.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
@@YourWingmam Thanks you 🙏🏾. I'm doing fine. I walked away so I could move on. Plus this happened several years ago and have had other relationships since that one.
My ex was an abusive narcissist who believed her own lies - not kidding.
The good: I divorced her 12 years ago.
The bad: The kids picked up some of her habits; they're grown up now and I don't know if they'll ever change.
At least you got out. Pray for your kids.
It’s always “my fault”.
Red flag.
Tell her you have an important project to finish. Then go fishing.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Better to be upfront & honest. Better to say "I choose not to participate with a dishonest person." Then go fishing.
Jesus over you and yours😢. Narcissist abuse recovery. Thanks for your bringing more knowledge and understanding😊.
You got this! Recovery means you're out. :)
Thank you.
Gaslighting affects one in the workplace and in social circles, but what I find absolutely unbelievable allows some greater clarity and discussion can develop. In the workplace I have noticed that gaslighting can happen in a hierarchy, where the more power or authority one has the more "gaslighting" is interpreted. If gaslighting becomes habitual by the person, it is likely the case that it is a marker of both lack of self control or entitlement. In general when we view events as comporting with a norm or pattern, the point is that it justifies or serves as an excuse. "hey" I'm not the only one who thinks this "gaslighter", convincing others that she or he are acting like others would. Thinking about social groups, generally, we would note or recall there were people that were passive and others that were more extroverted. In other words in social groups, norms or customs evolve and it is not so much about healthiness but rather about custom or what is accepted by a group participant in exchange for membership. If workplaces mirror social groups, the question about decomposing the learned behavior and reinforcing the change might be relevant. Gaslighters are not popular in the eyes of others which reinforces denail about the subject. So perhaps group activities reinforcing the opposite of gaslighting should be involved imo. It'd be great if HR people were proactively involved in social dynamics at work.
Always start from the incontrovertible foundation that she is less important than you and that she always needs to prove herself to you. Sound toxic ?
That's because modern society tries to gaslight you into thinking you have to prove yourself to others -- especially women.
Don't let society gaslight you, with the possible exception of your children, you are always the most important person in your own life !
You are the prize!
Thank you.
#8: break up as fast as possible!
Sometimes a breakup is a blessing in disguise 🙏
@@YourWingmam or, as in my case, a divorce
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "no one can make a fool out of you without your permission." Meaning don't give the gaslighter the power to manipulate you. How do you not become manipulated? Don't care about what they say or do. If they do something you don't like you don't have to care about it which is saying you may not like her actions but you don't have to let it get to you. Learn how to shift your focus. Learn how to change your thoughts. Someone does something you don't like start thinking about something you want to do or enjoy like an upcoming movie or trip or game. If you don't give them power they can't bother you.
You don’t have to go on an emotional rollercoaster just because someone says or does something you may not like. You can think “I might not like their behavior but in this moment I’m not going to let them have my day. I’m putting my attention elsewhere” and shift your thoughts to something positive.
Very important for me: MAKE NOTES!!!
Of what you want to cover and things said during an adult discussion
Some women can intentionally or unintentionally overwhelm you with words and feelings to knock you off focus. Be ready for tears.
It sounds misogynistic. Oh well. Tune your argument to the monthly cycle.
I'm so glad we had this talk said no man to no woman ever during her lady cycle
The techniques do not work on gaslighting parents. 😢
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Thank you Anna🙂
My pleasure ❤️
Very articulate. Hopefully the law will catch up to Narcissism, especially covert passive aggressive Narcissism. Keep up the amazing work you do. I unfortunately went down this rabbit hole to include her daughter being passive aggressive... This behavior had to have been taught and reinforced. We need a new shirt logo "I’m with stupid--->"..."I’m with narcissist--->"
Children learn by observation. At least you got out! (I assume.)
@@YourWingmam I did. 9 months no contact. Free as a bird…enjoying life with my dogs.
Anna, thanks for this video! I remember through it all I stayed strong!
Darealdeal
I agree with a lot of what Anna says, but feel that we are in an age where we are banding terms around that can be quite dangerous. Narcissist for example. I think pretty much everyone has narcissist traits of different degrees and that everyone is capable of a bit of what we now call 'Gaslighting'. For me this term really should only be used when there is strong preemptive manipulation taking place and is language that should be reserved to psychologists and only the most capable and empathic of therapists. In my opinion one should never call out someone as a narcissist.
Some people are guilty of rotten behaviour towards others without even being aware of what they are doing.
So much of our relational behaviours come from inner wounds that lay deep. If we are on the receiving end of bad behaviour we should have as much responsibility as the perpetrator when it comes to self awareness and to what dynamics are at play.
Relationships can often be a calamity of messiness and the words we should really apply are 'How am I mature ?' and 'How is the other mature ?.'..or not..
All that can be exhausting, but either way we should aim to be kind where we can and of course importantly to ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! It's true that labeling can be complex, and self-awareness is crucial in navigating relationships. If you're interested in exploring more about maturity in relationships and enhancing self-awareness, you might find the WakeUp2Luv program valuable. It focuses on understanding and improving relational dynamics. Feel free to check it out .members.wingmam.com/get-women/ Wishing you insightful and fulfilling connections! 🌟
I can relate in a big way Anna.. experienced a lot of the trauma as a teenager and have been recovering ever since.. it put a huge dent in my life but I have survived and work on it to this day at 74.. thanks for all you do
One day at a time, you got this!
Shouldn't it be gaslit not gaslighted? I've definitely heard the phrase I'm being gaslighted but it's also true that you go into a gaslit restaurant not a gaslighted restaurant.
Great topic that is so real with some people i have been incontact with. To solve any problems i get it in a text message. One can not wiggle out of something. I have a very good memory. What i have done i would say i want one to text any thing family get togeather. If i am dating someone and a narc. or psychopathic control freat i walk from them just like any drama qween. Family mrmber i would shorten time spent or in a controled enviroment to mimize any problems. Very good video
Anna’s red flag’s tips was awesome
I think, that gaslighters not so common in relationships just because you avoid them first of all. But scumbags or gaslighters very often can meet you at work, at shops everywhere! And you continue across with them all the time in outside not at own relationship. Be aware gaslighters!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Anna, again it's a good look. An understated gold necklace would have added. Content of the video was excellent.
Yes, you're right! And thank you for appreciating the video!
My ex girlfriend was like that and should have left her ages ago . She called everyone her btch . She was depressed and blame others . She gaslighted and minimize my feelings.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
I am fine but i tell others not be disrespectful to me but i still hear the word Bitch in my head sometimes. I had Soul Ties with her in Coke cola toxic relationship and feel better now .
Women in general, will respect a man so long he is assertive and firm in his convictions.
It's nice to be prepared for the gaslighting war a lady might bring to the guy. I have a question, Anna. Why do some people smile in awkward or uncomfortable situations, including in relationships? My guess is they are just being polite, making light of the situation, or maybe boosting their confidence. For example, a woman asks her man semi jokingly "You can't afford that truck! Aren't you broke?" and he smiles and laughs and maybe says "Don't worry. My piggy bank is my angel. " or nothing at all and just changes the subject. Do you think smiling with a mild laugh and a response like that shows he's confident and emotionally strong?
Great observation! Indeed, people often use humor and smiles to navigate awkward situations, showing confidence and emotional strength. It can be a positive coping mechanism. If you're interested in enhancing your understanding of social dynamics and relationships, check out my WakeUp2Luv program members.wingmam.com/get-women/. It provides valuable insights and tools. Wishing you positive and confident interactions! 😊🚀
is the reverse of gaslighting possible?
Someone who claims to forget... but firmly believes what she/he claimed happened or was said?
It’s still gaslighting even if they’ve subconsciously forgotten it. :(
@@YourWingmam sad... cause I fell for that trick pretty deep...
But it all cam crumbling down when cops were called on my for "supposed" verbal abuse.
I left her that night... but then she called my best friend to tell her that I was physically abusive towards her, I was jealous and insecure.... but she somehow waned my friend to convince me to come back... 🤔
And all this while she had started sleeping with another man, barely days after I had left...
I had met her a year after going through a divorce. And if I'm honest with myself, she forced the relationship on my with the: "I'm gonna change my Facebook status, cause I'm no longer single".
I am now single... and will remain so for the foreseeable future.
You content is still rather refreshing to watch.
Thanks for providing this content!
Thank you milady, another video to add to my "Run, Forest run" playlist.
And now something completely different...
Any chance to make a video with suggestions on what (or not) to focus on to increase chances to get a real date through speed dating? I recently went on one of those events and of course I did it totally unprepared. I mean what could go wrong? 😀
It was such a great experience, from pure panic in the beginning, through pride that I didn't run away screaming with tears in my eyes and sheer happiness afterwards when it was over and I realized that I did it.
With hindsight, I spoiled my chances with probably two or three potentially good women that seemed to be interested until we started conversation which was not soo... Well, let's say that I didn't use well those 3-4 minutes one have to make a good impression.
So, any chances to enlighten us on this subject?
Oooooh ouch girl that Sounds downright Machiavellian
Can be! And sneaks up on you little by little. :(
9:15 Maybe a narcissist, or is ready to break down and admit that she's insecure or wrong. Kind insistence with the knowledge that you are winning is an option.
Women also chip away at men to test their emotional strength. Many men cannot handle it
Truth!
Okay, how is this for a gaslighting example; husband: you said you were lucky to have me, wife: no I didn’t or, husband : I liked that thing you did, wife: I didn’t do that, you must have imagined it.
It appears professionals may be more likely to give advice to preserve the relationship than the mental health of the person being gaslit.
You 'got this one'. You're back on track. And I feel good.......... Da da da da da How's the West Coast?
Glad you enjoyed it! Cold with melting snow lol
I have a car.
Was in your neck of the woods recently , cold, it must have followed me back to the smart asses cause mine is frozen. Gaslighting, what would we call it without the movie? The effort recognized would leave no room for confusion,I wouldn’t make a good target. Thanks
Why would believe what someone else says ? Believe in yourself, and always make them prove to you what they say that contradicts whatever you already believe is true. NEVER BETRAY YOURSELF by simply accepting other people at their word. Before you accept anyone's word, they must already have an established credibility with you -- which is always an on-going process of 'trust-but-verify'. The bottom-line is: Nobody can gaslight you unless you uncritically accept what they say.
Amen!
Anna, I’m just curious how recent did you film this video was it; days ago, a week ago, or a month ago or two months ago let me know as soon as you can with answer.
A week ago
@@YourWingmam Thanks.
Not being gaslighted. Being ghosted. I dropped the lady that was gaslighting me. I kept in contact with her occasionally but basically dropped her as a 2024 New Years Resolution.
🙌
OK Anna. You forgot one key thing is.... what exactly is "gas lighting?"
Key point
✔️😁
All good comments for when both of you are willing to work on yourselves and your relationship. Otherwise get rid of the toxic person and move on to better. Or you can stay on the roller coaster ride until you've had enough :)
Exactly!
@@YourWingmam It appears I am looking for a unicorn! And that's ok cuz I love my life as is! So many women are not into self improvement...sad actually
Frankly: IMHO, if ANY ONE of those 10 signs is proven to be true, one should call it quits. That person is not a coworker you're stuck to cooperate with indefinitely; that person is not your mother or your child. Just quit. You can't correct/change/improve a toxic adult of this kind. No negotiations. And - sorry - no therapists (a therapist will only suck your money to prolong the obvious agony); that's their bread & butter.
Red Red Red. ( Sigh sigh ) no not gaslighting you 😅😅. Just Real comment Real Talk lovely ❤🙏💯👋👋
Thanks for watching! 💞
@@YourWingmam 😚😚
You so gorgeous
Would you be interested in a video pertaining to gaslighting yet not in a romantic relationship scenario?
It’s essentially the same, simply adjust responses according to who you’re dealing with. The formula is basically the same. The love sammich (
No gaslighting. If she does it, see ya later.
Cat always halfway of video and semihiden. And always decoy-targets hide it ;)
😻
1st 🥇
@@JSFGuy OK Karen 😂
@@JSFGuy and btw it's no Pick me behavior
Well done!
Good job, but it's important to remember, "The first will be last, and the last will be first." 😊
@@audiophileman7047 ...god damned i should deleted my comment 😑
🧯
Oh my!!! Big breath... Let's see what she's got to say... I'll make a list, and then we can discuss it later... Like 11 minutes and 23 seconds later
Lol
Thanks!
Thank you so much! 🙏🥰
My ex was the grand champion of gaslighting.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Thank you she has my kids to where they even blocked me from calling
This could have been named, the last things she has said before I dumped her.
Dear Anna:
You know, for such a dark topic you were giggling quite a bit in this video. I like seeing you happy though, so all is good.
Definitely seen gaslighting and I no longer care for it. I think the best thing to do if you are emotionally mature is to walk away once you spot it in a new relationship. It is not worth fighting that beast. One example you left out of things gaslighters do, they flat out accuse you of gaslighting them. They are just too much work. Wash your hands of them.
Great video though. I like how you explain everything in detail and offer good examples each time. I can tell you put a lot of time and effort into your videos, very appreciated.
That is all for today. I hope you are having a great weekend and you have an awesome week. You have a beautiful smile and a beautiful laugh Anna. Hug and a peck on each cheek. See you next week.
Thanks for appreciating the video and for your thoughts and the compliment! :))
Let's go Anna! ❤
Thing is with narcissism personality disorder is every interaction becomes about usurping. It's a game they're addicted to - they love doing it because the power thrills them.
like I've seen below, Why put up with this behaviour. Just walk away and enjoy your life.....
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
The weirdest thing at work happened to me today at the liquor section long story short I helped this guy get a bottle of liquor he told me to hurry up he was tired of wating this girl who also wanted liquor said she works retail and she said you shouldn't let people treat you like that we had a brief conversation hadand then she told me she works retail and reported the guy for me and as she walked out I looked at her and said I appreciate it my sigma ways said don't try to approach this girl but i Think I might have fallen in love lol. I've never had a woman show empathy and integrity before. Maybe that meant she liked me? she didn't have to do Any of that she was really tall and really gorgeous so I'm thinking yeah no don't do it she's probably just a nice person
That's a unique and intriguing encounter! It's wonderful when people show empathy and integrity. If you're interested in exploring more meaningful connections, the Wakeup2Luv program could provide valuable insights. Cheers to unexpected moments! 🌟 If you’re curious, here’s the link: 👉 members.wingmam.com/~access/a2c2208f/
@YourWingmam I looked her in the eyes and said I appreciate it normally." I wouldn't do that, but I might have fallen in love at that moment just cause of her actions and wanted to approach lol
This whole country was gaslighted for 4 years
by a narcissist.
When it comes to social media accounts, and you get blocked as a punishment that really hurts, especially when you’ve had kids with this person
At the end of the realtionship , your the abuser,gaslighter,narcissist 😂
Great insights on gaslighting in relationships! It's crucial to recognize these signs and empower oneself against manipulative behaviors. As a fellow dating coach, I appreciate your focus on building healthy connections. Understanding these dynamics contributes immensely to creating meaningful and respectful relationships. Keep up the valuable content!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
No handling. RUN
Most of the time that's the sanest course of action. Of course, we all forget sometimes but if it's a pattern, RUN
Great info, thank you
My pleasure ❤️
A lot of women will make a statement but not finish the sentence leaving you hanging trying to figure out what they are trying to say. It's really aggravating! Is this a form of gaslighting?
Didn't Roy Orbison write a song about you?
Thanks for the info on how to respond and how to take back your power.
Depending on how much I like the lady, might just end the relationship before trying your solutions.
I hope I don't have to, but now you made this video, I can refer to these solutions.
They're useful phrases even if your gal isn't gaslighting. Relationships come with misunderstandings. :)
@@YourWingmam That's for sure. Everyday life comes with misunderstandings.
Have an issue at work, which I now take photographic proof of my message book to prove if extra messages have been added after my arrival, then accused of not actioning the message.
I exploded my temper in public at 2 of the nurses last week.
The girl I'm dating have some of them
Tragically I've observed these things in so many women...
You sound like you are now Red Pill!
More than before, yes, especially the younger ones (though it happens at any age). Teach them how to treat you.
The "One strike and your out" attitude establishes your boundaries, and confidence. @@YourWingmam
@@YourWingmam A really comprehensive and well put together video by the way!
Not my type. Classy looking..... Most of all. Great content.. big fan of you. Channel!!!!!
I appreciate that!
You are so lovely 😉
Love your videos. But no man is going to look at his girlfriend and say, "I just bought this new outfit. What do you think?". And if he did, he better hope his buddies never find out he said it. Lol.
Yeah, true! Though he might say, “is this good enough?” Referring to what he should wear to some event she wants him to go to.
An extra comment to help boost the RUclips algorithm!
🙏
Unfortunately nobody is perfect, and when you don't give a 2nd chance, you might be in a pickle. It could be that you think you are too good and too perfect for...
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
@@YourWingmam my apologies i wrote that comment in the wrong place, it was meant to a narcissistic comment that stated " we should never give a chance to a woman who made a mistake" it seems to me he's been taught wrongly.
Again my mistake, but I think you are awesome. And thank you for all this hard work you do , to help others. That is very nice🕊 GOD speed🙏
Congrats on 300K. 🥳🎉🍾
Woohoo! Thank you for being here and for being part of it! :))
You are so sweet and feminine. I wish all young girls be more like you.
You are helping me a lot to find better relationship, partner .
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@@YourWingmam of course 😊
I recently dated a girl who checked the first 3 boxes. Not quite a narcissist but a very broken individual and definitely untrustworthy. That relationship highlighted some major trust issues I have and because of that, she was a very unsafe person for me. It’s been tough to walk away but I know it’s the right thing to do. Not all women are terrible. Many are just broken and wounded, but I’ve learned that you still need to be guarded around them, set boundaries, and walk away if you need to. No matter how much it breaks your heart
Excellent self-awareness! Definitely a fine line between a narcissist and an emotionally damaged woman who is not a narcissist. We are all a little bit broken, but some of us can be healed and others can’t. There’s a delicate balance between being vigilant and staying open. Thank you for your comment!
@@YourWingmam that’s a great point to remember as well so I appreciate you saying that. I think anyone can heal if they really want to heal, but not everyone will because it requires humility, accountability, sacrifice, just basically not doing the same things that you used to do. It’s simple, but it isn’t easy, and some people don’t want to change unless it’s easy. Sucks when people you care about are like that