Thank you Charice. These narcs destroy lives but we have to learn to let go. To all the people that have been hurt, I pray for you and you will conquer and rise above all of these slimy people.
Hi , well I never think such think exists, I have experience that and I wish people never experience that. Is hard wen you give 100% for somebody wo are really fake and without feelings. Was really hard only think I say!
I would definitely add **GASLIGHTING** to that list. From my experience, the intentional psycholoical mind games they played on my memories are one of the most challenging in the recovery process.
I had one who had a tell when he lied (he wasn't a narcissist, just a pitiful pathological liar). He never did figure out how I knew he was lying. I got to where I could see the switch flip from truth to lie. I found it funny as he*l. He was not so amused.
“I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing I play with lives, puppets on string I’ll take everything you have, then keep on moving Think I care about you? You must be dreaming And for all that you did, I appreciate nothing See there’s one thing you’ll soon be realising I’m a wolf A wolf in sheep’s clothing “ (If a narcissist was honest)
Let's not insult a wolf... wolves are pack animals. They have a hierarchy within the pack, they work together for the well-being of the pack, and they are loyal.
If I had to add one more, if the Narcissist was honest, the narcissist would say, "I like to create conflicts, but I the narcissist don't know how to handle any life conflicts. I, the Narcissist , are emotionally weakling." This is a good break down about narcissists. I would give it 100 likes so more people could see it...valuable information. 👍👏❤️🩹
Absolutely true. I lived through all that’s described here for 15 years. Nothing is EVER enough for the Narc. No unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness.. nothing is ever really good. With age they get better at faking some apologies, but beware, they are not sincere, they are just a means to obtain what they want… you back, you as a toy. You as that big source back.
Selfishness seems to be a key word to describe narcissism. I am so glad that I quietly walked away from some narcissist/toxic relationships in the last couple of years. I had to learn the hard way that narcissists never look out for you and their agenda in a relationship is what can you do for me. Great video, Clarice. So precise and accurate.
I think the key sign is inability to love. selfishness is something all people have in some grade. its normal and natural. But narcs are unable to mutual energy exchange - win-win relations,
Thank you very much. Both of my parents are narcissists. I struggled so much in my life not knowing what my parents were doing to me. I'm doing much better now from keeping a safe distance from them now. Narcissistic people are disgusting. What a miserable way to live.
I second that. Both my parents are narcissists. It took a long time for me to understand why they were so mean and cruel for no apparent reason. I recently cut off all ties to them. I quietly moved and changed my phone number so they will never be able to find me. As they have been actively trying to destroy my life. Narcissists are sad cruel sadistic people.
I'm happy for you. I have to figure out how to thrive, or just make it while still living with it. It's not that terrible til something happens and he turns on me. Times where I have lost something too. Like financial security or someone important to me. God help me then.
My stbx covert narc husband held grudges with our daughter when she just tried to correct his spelling mistakes while her overt narc grandmother scolded her in her face. They’re really sick people! I’m glad that we’re separated but he’s still abusing us financially. Hope we can be narc free one day.
Two things I've learned, one good, one bad. 1. They will hold on to the narcissistic injury till the day they die and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. 2 You are free of them in your brain, heart and soul as soon as you decide to be and they can't penetrate past that.
They would tell you that they love rolling out the passive aggressive behaviour. The sulking or silently fuming or the totally ignoring act. It is all designed to put the focus on them. It is all about control. They are controlling the moment or situation by getting your focus on their immature and child-like passive aggressive behaviour. Peace!
I would agree!!!.. they control you with manipulation & gaslighting.. so as to make us think that what actually happened didnt happen.. this is their way of not owning what theyve done.. but really narcissists are "incapable" of being honest.. they will change reality to rewrite the past
Most narcissists come from traumatic background and they hide the fact of their true of bringing. Which is really horrific. So they may lie about their childhood and say that it was jubilant when it was not.
Yes. My mother a covert narcissist does this. Guess its a part of her hiding in dishonesty. Plus she is not able to evaluate her childhood experiences. I figured out that she got traumatized of her father, but she adored father and was abusive to our granny thow she was not a narcissist. and was helping mother. Its what I remember from childhood.
Or the complete opposite. Saying how badly they were treated to gain sympathy and control over you. I do not believe anything I am told by the narcissist.
I have 4 adult children, and One of my adult daughters is the Narcissist in my Life. She's So Cruel and Lies about Everything, despite having been brought up the same as all her siblings. She's the Only One. She was a really happy, joyful child, and a nice friendly teenager, but gradually became this Monster as she got older. She's in her 30's now, and regularly gives me the Silent Treatment. I'm Done with her now. Life's too Short.
@@carriered4715 I’m really curious about how do psychologist explain that, my ex who is a narc also had a pretty good childhood from a working class family, loving nag and devoted mum, parents were not together but his father was not estranged by any means. His whole family adored him.
My cousin said to me when she was young pre teen:"Why do you cry for others? " I said bcs I feel their pain, she said:"How can I learn to do so?" Some years later she expressed that she cannot stand people (men especially) who express their deep feelings since she find it to be a sign of weaknesses and she despise that. She also many times said how she never forgets if people did something she found wrong,no matter how small it was or how long ago it happend. As we were pretty young I believed she is just trying to be a rebel. But as years passed I started to believe it was true. She learned to mask her lack of emotions and she has a good job,some friends,but she never experienced intimacy. She said at one occasion she believes something is wrong with her but she never went to a professional. Idk if she is a narcissist or something else but I needed to remove myself from her since she started to interfere in my life and created a bit of chaos. I miss her at times,or some aspects of her since we grew up together and I found myself partly responsible for her but I realised we are adults now and I need to take care of my family and myself first. Ofc she is angry and probably will try to do something to have my attention. I just hope I will be strong enough when the wave comes. Wish me luck!
Instead of being a victim, be set free. Consider it a lesson, grow from it. Yes, pain heals, like a wound. But it does. It's like Covid, nobody really understood it, it came, it went, we healed.
@all.about.narcissism because victim mentality often stays in a victim mentality. Always blaming someone else for their situation in every situation. Staying in that mindset, is not where you want to be, but it's easier than dealing with the pain of healing, because it is painful.
I have a narcissistic friend since long time and I found out her to be a narcissist only last year. Suddenly all of her "I need time for myself", which meant ghosting, silent treatments, discarding and so on made sense...and also made sense the huge amount of love and interest she gave me in the beginning. Once she's been sure to have my love and care, she must have put her focus and attention on someone else to have as many supplies as possible in case of need. She's probably love bombing someone now, manipulating and deceiving. Yet it will be impossible to forget her, and that illusion, but I can stop caring even if it will take time. It's so easy to be deceived by these people
I tend to remove those people from my life. If you can't kept get together dates, return phone calls/texts, show you might give crap, you are simpy no longer in my life. Buh-Bye!
I'm just here to agree with all the positive comments. This analysis is spot on to every point given in my experience. Amazing how they are all the same. Like they went to school for their NPD and they all follow the same script.
My stepsons birth mother fits this to a tee! Her uncaring behavior and lack of any empathy has nearly destroyed him, and I absolutely hate her for it. She doesn't even want him, but won't let me adopt him out of spite. She is the devil in the flesh.
As always you checked every box. I wish the courts were trained in the disordered machinations of NPD's. Maybe then I wouldn't have had my life almost destroyed when she filed a false police report for domestic abuse. My only crime (apparrently) was telling her I couldn't and wouldn't any longer tolerate everything she did over a 3 year period that you discussed in this video. I guess I 'got off light'. The 3 previous men she did the exact same thing to weren't as 'lucky'. I 'only' lost my home and everything I own for 30 days until I could get her out of my home...that I bought and owned. We didn't even live together! In fact, I hadn't seen her for a month until that day she showed up unannounced and I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting her in the door because it was cold out. It all went sideways from there. She'd obviously been planning my destruction for the month since I'd seen her last. She played me, the police, and Family Court masterfully. The same exact way she did before. One poor sob was accused of rape after he told her it was over...but fell for the LoveBombing. And of course that meant she had his 'DNA' to prove at the ER that she'd been raped. Worse yet is Domestic Abuse 'victim' laws ensure her anonymity. Nothing will ever show in background checks. I know because I paid for one a year after knowing her. If I wasn't recovering from the relatively recent loss of my wife of 27 years to a stroke I would never have fallen for her targeting.
@@MiteshDamania I’m assuming the false allegations/police reports… I think there should be a severe penalty for trying to manipulate the justice system into a personal punishment system…the most current example I can think of is Amber Heard - women can be abusers too, and ALL abusers generally try to swap roles & “play the victim” - it makes it so difficult for the true victims to seek justice.
add this: once the narcissist has you hooked and bamboozled, the NPD's true nature ramps up. you will find every event, date, outing, simple task, to appt, all the way to special events ALL BRACKETED by needless confusion, arguments, chaos and overall upset. But I guess Charice nailed it when she described the narcissist as actively seeking discord, so that they can pour out their hate. boom. excellent video. THANK YOU!
They are BEYOND insecure, and will manufacture entire scenarios in their mind that are according to them are 💯 true of you and your friends hatching an elaborate plan to overthrow their kingdom, and all you were doing was whispering to your friend if they could please pass the creamer....😐
When you speak charice. Is like you have an every day camera hovering over my life. Been dealing with almost every point you make with my child's mother. It's sad but thanks to you I understand better why things happen the way they do. It has also allowed me to let things go and control my emotions in the process of avoiding the narc celebrating my upsets. I allowed it to happen blindly because my son is the pawn in the middle. Thank you. You have no idea how much your videos have helped me. 💪
Thank you Clarice. I've been watching your channel but this is my first time commenting. Oh my Goodness you're so much on point. You're a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work 👍
Thank The Most High for channels like Clarice keeping us informed about how these Narcs operate in a manipulative, selfish manner 🙏🏾. Remember the light in us causes darkness to scatter. That’s why the Narc is uncomfortable in our presence. Keep praying for The Most High will provide a way of escape and healing ❤️.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the narcissist bc of how impossible my current relationship feels sometimes; but there’s only one of these traits that I can honestly say applies to me, and that’s the struggle to forgive. I feel like I have no patience for people who have wronged me, and I burn those bridges almost immediately. I don’t seek revenge or “justice” but I do hold grudges and I have a big problem with forgiveness.
This was great. Good info. Perfectly describes the narcissistic parents and the ex. It’s the last one that makes all the others possible. They lie like their lives depend on it.
I lived with a narcissist for twenty three years before divorcing. I never knew what in the hell was going on and I didn't know if I was nuts or she was. She demanded so many contradictory things from me. I only learned of her condition beginning at five years after our divorce. From my experience, you hit the nail right on the head on every point. No amount of prayer every helped and my faith in God has been severely damaged...I think beyond repair. Thirteen years after our divorce, I'm still trying to recover and heal the wounds.
I don’t usually commment. But holy shit is this so clear to understand with your explanations. My ex absolutely exhibited a majority of these things and I simply ignored them because I trusted her words. Now I’m on the other end of a discard and going through some major healing.
Clarice without a doubt you have my ex husband framed perfectly here, you absolutely must know him! Goodness gracious. I wish I could meet you, you are amazing.
I think some narcissists are very, very, very good at pretending to be kind and meek and they do give gifts in order to secure up your allegiance so they can begin gulping down narcissistic supply from you like an energy vampire. I say that since a narcissist separated from me, did not ever say sorry, and now a woman tried to get attention from me in church but I was on it, and blocked the phone number and email.
Describes most wealthy people. They give money to charity but only to be admired by others. Corporations give money to a charity right before they're about to lay off 10,000 or so of their employees. This way there's less public outcry over the layoffs. If you work a big corporation and they have a big fundraising event or a charity ball. Look out! It may mean you're about to lose your job.
Your videos have help me and my family greatly. From your information we were able to understand that our neighbours were narcissists and we had already endured years of crazy lies. It wasn’t until 2 years ago that all hell broke lose and 💩 got real. After watching your videos we knew our only option was to get the cops involved and install cameras. With more proof and pressure from the cops never ending presence, this pushed our neighbour to move. We now have a calm situation here at our home and we can enjoy our backyard again. Thanks for helping us out.
as a person with the diagnosis NPD (been in therapy since the age of 6y/o) i am highly aware of what i am doing, this is all true but we all believe and know this world is cruel due to thw trauma we experienced, demonizing us is not the answer, we struggle way more with our actions than the people around us, i personally am always honest and tell people about my diagnosis as soon as i "like" someone, most ppl do not bother. Its all a game for us and we are the dealer, we cant lose, even if we do, in our innerself we did the right thing if that makes sense. when we split with people, its more like releasing an animal you petted for a while. we lack "empathy" bc our feelings are way more important than anyone elses, what is imo healthy, i have been trained to cause the least amount of pain for the people around me, so i am precieved as really loving and empathic, but having the power of knowing i could completely destroy a person is only fueling my NPD and i precieve myself as merciful. reading all this comments here where you guys tell about your experience seem true, but you cant blame a narcisst for playing this game of life for them, am not sure why am even commenting but telling your friends my ex was a narcisst (in general being called a narcisst gets way too easy away) is just not true, please be careful what you say, bc being a "narcisst" is just become a way to say you are a jerk. Also in the defends of the cheating aspect, most of you guys were a toy in their collection not a equal partner, what really sucks i understand, but i personally would never cheat on my partner :/
Yeah this sounds right. My mum and older sister suffered from being narcissists. My mum recently died and my sister thinks I'm her slave now. Shes had ppl threaten to kill me. Id rather die than be around a narcissts.
I noticed too that if they aren't willing to improve their surroundings which is what they actually reflect they are mainly neglecting themselves. For many many many years my brother's home fell apart and he just watched. A visit in 2004 worried me. My daughter and I went to visit again in 2015 and the were plywood boards on the floors due to holes in the floor. It's awful to see my brother and sister in law in it but it's not something I can make them do and I will not fight them to get them to do anything about it. If they fall in inside of it, for four years I spoke to them and encouraged them, and said they shouldn't let it go. I tried.
Wow. Experienced that. Didn't see it for what you described. I've been separated from my husband for 2 years but I remember him watching TV and being annoyed at the gentleman I hired to do some necessary drywall work disturbing his peace. Oh your comment gave me a really clarifying ah ha moment.
I have BPD, it sucks. It's so sad and it's so lonely. I have to lie and manipulate just so i can taste what a relationship feels like. I see i have some of the traits in this video and it hurts me. I don't mean to be evil, i don't mean to be bad. I m so alone, i never asked for this.i hate when i wake up in the morning
Greetings, Clarice .. I appreciate the fact that you speak concisely and to the point. I also like that you place "supers" or words on the screen. All this gives IMPACT to what you are saying ! Good work and thank you !
I had a lot of people in my life over the years, only one can I say without a doubt that I was with was a hundred percent of narcissist, probably even worse than that. You are describing him to a tee and that person actually tried to kill me when I said I was leaving. It wasn't out of love, it was about all of the information I had on them.
I just had a 4 year sentence end with a narcissist romance scammer.. yes, double whammy! The damage it has done to me mentally physically, emotionally and financially is devastating and permanent. . I will never get the money I couldn't afford to lose back. It was life insurance money my caring husband left for my son and i to survive on and we lost him very unexpectedly.
1) I lack empathy 2) I have an aggravated sense of self importance 3) I need a lot of attention 4) I struggle with intimacy 5) I am not accountable 6) I manipulate and exploit others 7) I have a fragile self esteem 8) I never forgive or forget 9) I have have an additive personality 10) I am pathological liar 11) I will gaslight you (not in the video, but they do gaslight others) 12) I am an as*hole (also not in the video, but the truth) Oh look! This video just described people like Elon Musk and Bill Gates as well as my ex. I survived and left after only 2 years. His next girlfriend and I talked quite often and agreed - the person you date is not the person you get long term. For me, I simply realized he trying to make into someone I was not and was never going to be. I thank my parents everyday for raising strong women in a time when it was not often done.
You just described my ex-wife. 10 of 10. I used to think, well, maybe she’s not a full blown narcissist. But since she is every one of those ten, I guess she is. Thanks for this.
Hi Charice - Really liked this video, the level of detail you go into on the topic of narcissism is v good. Your voice is v soothing and your pace is not rushed which is greet. V nice presentation. Well Done. Thank You!! God Bless You!! 💕🙏💕
When I had a turbulent experience with a narc female friend last summer, when I told her to get out of my life (knew her 8 months), she only talked about 'me, I, myself:- I don't want to lose a friend, my feelings have been hurt etc etc. Hilllllaaarrrious! Her husband kicked her out so she came to mine. I saw everything clearly in those days and she was kicked out of 2 homes in a matter of weeks. A Professional Victim, of course. My name slandered. Good. I was living in Moscow and having a reputation for being an as$hole, when in fact, I am an empath, is a great benefit for me. This way, other narc ex pats stay away.
I spent 10 years thinking what's wrong with her... I am glad that finaly know what kind of personality she is... unfortunatelly 10 years of my life are lost... no children... no family for her the same...
Every single thing you said in this video, 100% describes the girl I’m dealing with right now. She’s also very immature in her thinking. She is definitely bipolar and has ADHD. I’ve read up on it and she definitely shows signs of being a sociopath. Unfortunately I’ve become trauma bonded and it’s killing me inside.
The amount of punishment is never enough. Revenge! I still forgive them because they have a condition and they know not what they do even when you tell them. I forgive them because I can’t imagine not being responsible for myself, or not being able to love. They are asked to love, but they know they can’t. It’s sad that everyone asks them to do something that they are incapable of. If that is said about any area of one’s life, it’s got to be torture knowing one is just incapable. God bless them, and forgive them.
You quote the Bible and you sound kind. For those reasons I wonder if you can help me. I left my narcissistic husband 2 years ago after 20 years of marriage. He did all the usual narc stuff. I forgive him I suppose. I don't want anything from him. I release him. However he still insists God wants us to be reconciled. I can't go back to him and have any sanity and while I say I forgive, I still feel angry. What can I do? I don't want to go before unbelievers and ask for help ie ask a judge for divorce and our town is very small and I don't want to ask church leaders here for help because he has friends in the church and they will think I'm crazy. He looks pretty good from the outside even has an online pastoral credential. So, I do nothing about the whole thing. What would be a biblical response? How do I glorify Jesus? Any thoughts you have would be appreciated.
@@cynthiaaustin1763 well I’m not what you think as far as the knowledge of the Bible. But I woke up this morning with this thought from God for myself that might help you somehow. My ex divorced me, but we were not close to the church peers. God told me that he won’t let her return because she is used to my weakness, and I’m used to being weak for her. So getting back together, God wont allow to happen for us. That’s our situation, maybe not yours. We must consider Gods will, pray and obey….. my grandfather was a Christian pastor and missionary… my mother has divorced twice, and she felt the condemnation for it….. God makes exceptions, and I believe with all my heart he made our divorce happen, so that we COULD flourish in our walk with Christ. God’s word is his word though, and his ultimate command is written for most relationships. Therefore my only suggestion can be to really lay down your burden before God, really be attentive to what your heart wants, what God wants for you, and what the estranged man in your life is revealing to you. I’m sorry that I can’t give you an absolute answer, but trusting in God, seek and ye shall find. I pray that God will talk to you clearly and help you determine the right course. A lot could have changed, then again maybe he has just failed and wants you back. So many things only you can consider. It stinks, I know, but God has all the glory. Amen? God is
@@christopherbrubaker2070 Thank you very much for your considerate response. Your belief that your divorce was allowed by God that your relationship with Him could flourish is eye opening to me. Thank you for sharing that. You said you were used to being weak around your ex wife. I automatically "people please" with my husband as an automatic default and it is detrimental all around. Your comment about unhealthy ingrained roles in the relationship was especially helpful too. I want nothing more than to glorify, obey and please Jesus so I will do what you suggested and lay the whole mess at His feet and leave it there. Thank you for your kindness in taking the time to respond. I haven't known where to turn but when I read your words that were Jesus' words on the cross, something in my spirit said ask him. May God bless you. Thank you again.
@@cynthiaaustin1763 I’m so glad this helped. You are obviously cherished as a child of God, I can tell. May your days be made sure, and your heart renewed. God bless you
I'm blown away by your insight Clarice. Are there any reading materials you recommend? I shouldn't really focus on the topic but I'm still suffering because it and my ex's unconscionable behaviour so I might as well educate myself further. Thank God my little daughter is not displaying her mother's traits so far.
Oh my. I really wanna send this to a certain person. I can't, cuz they're outta my life, but it'd sure be interesting to be a fly on their wall when they opened it. :)
Who else here was branded as a narc by their narc abuser...who also said you are not only a narc but also an abuser?! This is the ultimate gaslight of the narc abuser
1. I lack empathy 2. I have an exaggerated sense of self, filled with pride 3. I need a lot of attention, all recognition, constant validation, must have supply 4. I struggle with intimacy. Not loyal to anyone. 5. I am not accountable for negative actions. Always blame. 6. I manipulate and exploit others. Everything is off balance 7. I have a fragile self esteem/ ego 8. I never forgive or forget. Never stop seeking revenge 9. I have an addiction personality 10. I am a pathological liar
Oh he was honest buy in way that would make it look as though it has happened or he was doing it or already did and then would watch my reaction then smirk laugh and walk away
I dont think narcs would get isolated if telling truth. Because they would stop being narcissist and start being real person fith deep life experience.
@@z32luvr But they are constitued. Total delusional. My Covert narcissist mother is telling how great was har family spec father who was the cause for har covert narcissism - her mother she hated, but in private - but she was not a narcissist And at the same time she steals a storry heard from my aunt about the third person to fake nonexisting sufferings to take the victim pose - starts to repeat storries heard from other people which is not about her, So she lives in delusion, hides and protects roots of her real trauma, even thow she needs the vistim image. People would be compassionate if she realy told about her real childhood trauma and was a FAIR and HONEST and open person But now she is ending as a covert narc - undiscovered, refusing to heal, harming people around first her childern and grandchildren. But she will get discoveret with time. They have gone in delusion and are cowards. Thats why they have become narcissists and thats why they will not change. They had 2 ways but chose the wrong way in childhood - appropriate for their weak dishonest character.
AN EYE-OPENER, I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT I WAS UP AGAINST, BUT I THOUGHT THEY THOUGHT LIKE ME, I HAVE 2 TO DEAL WITH, ITS NO WONDER MY LIFE HAS BEEN SO DIFFICULT, A WHOLE FAMILY WAS MY GIFT FROM GOD, I HOPE IT WAS TO HELP ME TO SEE REAL EVIL IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, I KNEW IT BUT I HADN'T WATCHED THESE UTUBE VIDEOS, I THINK I DISMISSED IT ALL BECAUSE I WAS SO USED TO IT AND I DIDN'T THINK IT AS BAD AS IT REALLY WAS!! WHY I WAS SO OBSESSED WITH EVIL!
Wow I just learned not only am I a narcissist I’m a total piece of crap. Everything she said I have done or do. How does someone change now that the light of truth has been shown on the darkness one has been hiding? I don’t want to be this person anymore. How do I change to become a better person? How do I become whom God made me to be?
You just described Cormac Mears ( original roots in county Mayo in Ireland, lives in London, DOB: 7/09/1978 - this information is by request of another commentator who is worried that innocent person with the same name can get in trouble unfairly ) in every detail. Everytime I said something he did not like or that didn't suit his agenda to have cold-blooded sex with me without feelings or called him out on his lies, he asked me why am I insulting him.....even the slightest thing was taken by him as an insult, back then I could not understand why he is insulted by me all the time if I just say things for what it is. I told him that I just speak my mind and cannot be silenced when there are so many red flags. They are such insecure individuals.
I haven't heard it phrased that way before but "cold blooded sex" sums it up exactly, unfortunately. It is a very sad and lonely experience. Especially since sex is supposed to be connection. ❤️
@@alanam.1615 sex is not a connection without emotional and intellectual connection as well. If it is just sex - there is no connection at all. Sexual chemistry alone is just an illusion of a connection and that is what npd men strive for - to create an illusion at the beginning that you have a connection together.
@@alanam.1615 if you don't have shared values in life and you have only sexual connection then it is just "cold blooded sex". No connection here and they don't care about you, don't love you, don't attach to you in a healthy way like emotionally and mentally healthy people do. It is for them that sex is a connection because they are not capable of feeling, giving and receiving love and healthy patterns/dynamics. Therefore cold sex/drugs/alcohol/gambling/superficial money power are the only things that can temporarily make them happy/content/calm/relaxed.
Let's simplify. They would say: Your wants, needs and opinions are an annoyance to me. If you weren't so stupid you'd see that I am always right and you would always do whatever I want you to. Furthermore, if there is ever a problem with anything, it is your fault. I'm infallible. YOU are the problem.
They are empty, fragile, and desperately clinging to external validation. It is sad, but they are so deeply recessed into their own distorted experience that they will never be able to see you as anything but a crutch. They are drawn to hierarchal systems that allow them to follow rules and check boxes on lists that affirm their directionless moral compass as "good". Anyone who does not clearly validate this mindless pursuit is perceived as a threat, and that is when they lash out with all the manipulation and abuse in an attempt to protect their fragile ego from experiencing reality. Gray Rocking is the only real answer. Ignore them and distance yourself from getting sucked into their attempts to use you to feed this cycle. Play dumb and walk away as soon as you see them coming.
it isn't fragility.... it's evil. if you question God..... God said it were gold, you tested it... how dare you test it....... see... if God says "It is gold, ship it.".. but you tested it first...... now you report back to God that it is not gold..... where as, You accept that it is gold, because God said so, so you shipped it.. when it got to its destination it were inspected and it is not gold.. now God wants you to produce the gold that He swears you stole from God.
bear in mind, I left the radio on one night.... I woke up to the radio being destroyed. my arm got hurt. I had to wash dishes, and I got spanked. It ended when I said "No." if I hand't... I'd still be paying for it to this day.
that isn't narcissism. It's actually "trolls" that demand a lbs of human flesh for the least offense, for all time. You can see them all over the internet.
We are talking about people with problems, not monsters and you also have problems if you carried on a relationship with such people. Be accountable for yourself.
@@stingylizard that's a relationship you can't choose of course. Just saying we should be aware of ourselves not just blame others. We can't change other people but we can empower ourselves to protect ourselves.
Many traits apply to nearly everyone. Short videos like this is why it's such a misused term by people that don't want to work to better thier relationships. .. thier Problem. Not mine.
Thank you Charice. These narcs destroy lives but we have to learn to let go. To all the people that have been hurt, I pray for you and you will conquer and rise above all of these slimy people.
Hi , well I never think such think exists, I have experience that and I wish people never experience that.
Is hard wen you give 100% for somebody wo are really fake and without feelings.
Was really hard only think I say!
🔑 word “slimy”
Hard to let go when you have a child with them.. just want to be free and not deal with this person at all.
Amen.
🎉❤
I would definitely add **GASLIGHTING** to that list.
From my experience, the intentional psycholoical mind games they played on my memories are one of the most challenging in the recovery process.
Gaslighting would fall under the 'I manipulate' category I think.
@@basictruths777 Yes.
Agreed. 💗
It could fall under lying, too.
The lies with my Ex narc was awful! How can a grown man lie so much?!
Because he’s not a grown man. He’s a man child.
Peter Pan. ..as I called.
Mine was a woman, but I wholeheartedly agree with you
Men and full grown women can be pathetic narcissists... Dont let it affect ur view on all men...
I had one who had a tell when he lied (he wasn't a narcissist, just a pitiful pathological liar). He never did figure out how I knew he was lying. I got to where I could see the switch flip from truth to lie. I found it funny as he*l. He was not so amused.
“I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing
I play with lives, puppets on string
I’ll take everything you have, then keep on moving
Think I care about you? You must be dreaming
And for all that you did, I appreciate nothing
See there’s one thing you’ll soon be realising
I’m a wolf
A wolf in sheep’s clothing “
(If a narcissist was honest)
Read that somewhere about addiction, you know the source?
@@tonyp.bahama9368 yes, source is me 🙂
@@shak7262 ahh Nice, reminds me of something i read somewhere but i cant remember.
More like a coward in human skin. .. narcissist are cowards deep down...
Let's not insult a wolf... wolves are pack animals. They have a hierarchy within the pack, they work together for the well-being of the pack, and they are loyal.
Please give this video a thumbs up! She is helping many find light in the darkness of narssicism❤
Thank you!💖💖💖
If I had to add one more, if the Narcissist was honest, the narcissist would say, "I like to create conflicts, but I the narcissist don't know how to handle any life conflicts. I, the Narcissist , are emotionally weakling."
This is a good break down about narcissists. I would give it 100 likes so more people could see it...valuable information. 👍👏❤️🩹
Tell IT!!!
Absolutely true. I lived through all that’s described here for 15 years. Nothing is EVER enough for the Narc. No unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness.. nothing is ever really good. With age they get better at faking some apologies, but beware, they are not sincere, they are just a means to obtain what they want… you back, you as a toy. You as that big source back.
Selfishness seems to be a key word to describe narcissism. I am so glad that I quietly walked away from some narcissist/toxic relationships in the last couple of years. I had to learn the hard way that narcissists never look out for you and their agenda in a relationship is what can you do for me.
Great video, Clarice. So precise and accurate.
I think the key sign is inability to love.
selfishness is something all people have in some grade. its normal and natural. But narcs are unable to mutual energy exchange - win-win relations,
@@zandatee innability or refusal
@@kimgordon3695 Inability!
if it looks as an refusal its just a selfprotecting because of inability
@@zandatee yes deep Trauma. 🙏
@@kimgordon3695 No justification. Most become empathetic and compassionate in same circumstances. They have a choice.
Thank you very much. Both of my parents are narcissists. I struggled so much in my life not knowing what my parents were doing to me. I'm doing much better now from keeping a safe distance from them now. Narcissistic people are disgusting. What a miserable way to live.
I second that. Both my parents are narcissists. It took a long time for me to understand why they were so mean and cruel for no apparent reason. I recently cut off all ties to them. I quietly moved and changed my phone number so they will never be able to find me. As they have been actively trying to destroy my life. Narcissists are sad cruel sadistic people.
Sorry u had to go through with that...at least now u know and are smarter.
God is Truth❣
Narcissists are liers!!
The Devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy 👿
So true ❤
This is really is not the place for your religion. Not everyone follows a religion, it is a personal thing and ought to be kept personal.
This is the best breakdown of a Narcissit I have ever heard! Every single thing is on point Wow!!I thank God I'm the one who Got away!!
I'm happy for you. I have to figure out how to thrive, or just make it while still living with it. It's not that terrible til something happens and he turns on me. Times where I have lost something too. Like financial security or someone important to me. God help me then.
I think so too
My stbx covert narc husband held grudges with our daughter when she just tried to correct his spelling mistakes while her overt narc grandmother scolded her in her face. They’re really sick people! I’m glad that we’re separated but he’s still abusing us financially. Hope we can be narc free one day.
🙏🏾
U will be
Two things I've learned, one good, one bad. 1. They will hold on to the narcissistic injury till the day they die and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. 2 You are free of them in your brain, heart and soul as soon as you decide to be and they can't penetrate past that.
I send you so much good luck and good wishes ♥
@@lennie1703 Thank you so much. Yes, I agreed. Once you leave their playground, they are powerless.
They would tell you that they love rolling out the passive aggressive behaviour. The sulking or silently fuming or the totally ignoring act. It is all designed to put the focus on them. It is all about control. They are controlling the moment or situation by getting your focus on their immature and child-like passive aggressive behaviour.
Peace!
I would agree!!!.. they control you with manipulation & gaslighting.. so as to make us think that what actually happened didnt happen.. this is their way of not owning what theyve done.. but really narcissists are "incapable" of being honest.. they will change reality to rewrite the past
This is an honest, objective view of who narcissists are and what they want, which is ultimately to destroy their victims.
Most narcissists come from traumatic background and they hide the fact of their true of bringing. Which is really horrific. So they may lie about their childhood and say that it was jubilant when it was not.
Yes. My mother a covert narcissist does this. Guess its a part of her hiding in dishonesty.
Plus she is not able to evaluate her childhood experiences. I figured out that she got traumatized of her father, but she adored father and was abusive to our granny thow she was not a narcissist. and was helping mother. Its what I remember from childhood.
Sooo TRUE, my narcissist ex husband came from very dysfunctional family his father being an alcoholic and a narcissist also, HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
Or the complete opposite. Saying how badly they were treated to gain sympathy and control over you. I do not believe anything I am told by the narcissist.
I have 4 adult children, and One of my adult daughters is the Narcissist in my Life. She's So Cruel and Lies about Everything, despite having been brought up the same as all her siblings. She's the Only One. She was a really happy, joyful child, and a nice friendly teenager, but gradually became this Monster as she got older. She's in her 30's now, and regularly gives me the Silent Treatment. I'm Done with her now. Life's too Short.
@@carriered4715 I’m really curious about how do psychologist explain that, my ex who is a narc also had a pretty good childhood from a working class family, loving nag and devoted mum, parents were not together but his father was not estranged by any means. His whole family adored him.
You are a expert everything you said is exactly correct. These people are very dangerous.
My cousin said to me when she was young pre teen:"Why do you cry for others? " I said bcs I feel their pain, she said:"How can I learn to do so?" Some years later she expressed that she cannot stand people (men especially) who express their deep feelings since she find it to be a sign of weaknesses and she despise that. She also many times said how she never forgets if people did something she found wrong,no matter how small it was or how long ago it happend. As we were pretty young I believed she is just trying to be a rebel. But as years passed I started to believe it was true. She learned to mask her lack of emotions and she has a good job,some friends,but she never experienced intimacy. She said at one occasion she believes something is wrong with her but she never went to a professional. Idk if she is a narcissist or something else but I needed to remove myself from her since she started to interfere in my life and created a bit of chaos. I miss her at times,or some aspects of her since we grew up together and I found myself partly responsible for her but I realised we are adults now and I need to take care of my family and myself first.
Ofc she is angry and probably will try to do something to have my attention. I just hope I will be strong enough when the wave comes.
Wish me luck!
It's never too late to keep'em away from you in a emotional level.😢😢😢
👍stay strong sister
Instead of being a victim, be set free. Consider it a lesson, grow from it. Yes, pain heals, like a wound. But it does.
It's like Covid, nobody really understood it, it came, it went, we healed.
CoV is entering Phase III
@all.about.narcissism because victim mentality often stays in a victim mentality. Always blaming someone else for their situation in every situation. Staying in that mindset, is not where you want to be, but it's easier than dealing with the pain of healing, because it is painful.
I have a narcissistic friend since long time and I found out her to be a narcissist only last year. Suddenly all of her "I need time for myself", which meant ghosting, silent treatments, discarding and so on made sense...and also made sense the huge amount of love and interest she gave me in the beginning. Once she's been sure to have my love and care, she must have put her focus and attention on someone else to have as many supplies as possible in case of need. She's probably love bombing someone now, manipulating and deceiving.
Yet it will be impossible to forget her, and that illusion, but I can stop caring even if it will take time.
It's so easy to be deceived by these people
I tend to remove those people from my life. If you can't kept get together dates, return phone calls/texts, show you might give crap, you are simpy no longer in my life. Buh-Bye!
They spin what they learn or discover as their inherent superiority, not knowledge to share with others or use for benefiting all.
I'm just here to agree with all the positive comments. This analysis is spot on to every point given in my experience.
Amazing how they are all the same. Like they went to school for their NPD and they all follow the same script.
My stepsons birth mother fits this to a tee! Her uncaring behavior and lack of any empathy has nearly destroyed him, and I absolutely hate her for it. She doesn't even want him, but won't let me adopt him out of spite. She is the devil in the flesh.
As always you checked every box.
I wish the courts were trained in the disordered machinations of NPD's. Maybe then I wouldn't have had my life almost destroyed when she filed a false police report for domestic abuse. My only crime (apparrently) was telling her I couldn't and wouldn't any longer tolerate everything she did over a 3 year period that you discussed in this video.
I guess I 'got off light'. The 3 previous men she did the exact same thing to weren't as 'lucky'. I 'only' lost my home and everything I own for 30 days until I could get her out of my home...that I bought and owned.
We didn't even live together! In fact, I hadn't seen her for a month until that day she showed up unannounced and I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting her in the door because it was cold out. It all went sideways from there. She'd obviously been planning my destruction for the month since I'd seen her last. She played me, the police, and Family Court masterfully. The same exact way she did before. One poor sob was accused of rape after he told her it was over...but fell for the LoveBombing. And of course that meant she had his 'DNA' to prove at the ER that she'd been raped.
Worse yet is Domestic Abuse 'victim' laws ensure her anonymity. Nothing will ever show in background checks. I know because I paid for one a year after knowing her. If I wasn't recovering from the relatively recent loss of my wife of 27 years to a stroke I would never have fallen for her targeting.
What needs to show in the background checks?
@@MiteshDamania I’m assuming the false allegations/police reports… I think there should be a severe penalty for trying to manipulate the justice system into a personal punishment system…the most current example I can think of is Amber Heard - women can be abusers too, and ALL abusers generally try to swap roles & “play the victim” - it makes it so difficult for the true victims to seek justice.
I had to go through a similar situation. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Unbelievable that’s awful.
Enmeshed
add this: once the narcissist has you hooked and bamboozled, the NPD's true nature ramps up. you will find every event, date, outing, simple task, to appt, all the way to special events ALL BRACKETED by needless confusion, arguments, chaos and overall upset. But I guess Charice nailed it when she described the narcissist as actively seeking discord, so that they can pour out their hate. boom. excellent video. THANK YOU!
They are BEYOND insecure, and will manufacture entire scenarios in their mind that are according to them are 💯 true of you and your friends hatching an elaborate plan to overthrow their kingdom, and all you were doing was whispering to your friend if they could please pass the creamer....😐
When you speak charice. Is like you have an every day camera hovering over my life. Been dealing with almost every point you make with my child's mother. It's sad but thanks to you I understand better why things happen the way they do. It has also allowed me to let things go and control my emotions in the process of avoiding the narc celebrating my upsets. I allowed it to happen blindly because my son is the pawn in the middle. Thank you. You have no idea how much your videos have helped me. 💪
Thats what happens when u think with ur pecker. ..im sure there were many signs and then u still chose to marry..
Thank you Clarice. I've been watching your channel but this is my first time commenting. Oh my Goodness you're so much on point. You're a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work 👍
🤗💖
Thank The Most High for channels like Clarice keeping us informed about how these Narcs operate in a manipulative, selfish manner 🙏🏾. Remember the light in us causes darkness to scatter. That’s why the Narc is uncomfortable in our presence. Keep praying for The Most High will provide a way of escape and healing ❤️.
fantastic video & spot on!!! 🏃♀️!!!!
Fantastic. Thank you again for sharing your gift.
They taught us a good lesson
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the narcissist bc of how impossible my current relationship feels sometimes; but there’s only one of these traits that I can honestly say applies to me, and that’s the struggle to forgive. I feel like I have no patience for people who have wronged me, and I burn those bridges almost immediately. I don’t seek revenge or “justice” but I do hold grudges and I have a big problem with forgiveness.
This was great. Good info. Perfectly describes the narcissistic parents and the ex. It’s the last one that makes all the others possible. They lie like their lives depend on it.
Excellent summary
I lived with a narcissist for twenty three years before divorcing. I never knew what in the hell was going on and I didn't know if I was nuts or she was. She demanded so many contradictory things from me. I only learned of her condition beginning at five years after our divorce. From my experience, you hit the nail right on the head on every point. No amount of prayer every helped and my faith in God has been severely damaged...I think beyond repair. Thirteen years after our divorce, I'm still trying to recover and heal the wounds.
🙏💖
This list is so spot on! Thank you! The malignant narc is extremely mean.
I don’t usually commment. But holy shit is this so clear to understand with your explanations. My ex absolutely exhibited a majority of these things and I simply ignored them because I trusted her words. Now I’m on the other end of a discard and going through some major healing.
👍stay strong brother
Totally on point, Clarice🙌🏽1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣
I go through all 10. The sad thing is they can’t let you go.😢
This is excellent and so true. Thank you for sharing.
This was very, very useful!! It's amazing how destroyed their lives have become from being so broken!!! They, in turn, destroy others!!! 😢
That was intense and SUPER informative. Thank u
Clarice without a doubt you have my ex husband framed perfectly here, you absolutely must know him! Goodness gracious. I wish I could meet you, you are amazing.
Wow, thank you🙏
So not only did u date one ...ignore all the signs but then u married him....why?
This is so PERFECT. So true.
I think some narcissists are very, very, very good at pretending to be kind and meek and they do give gifts in order to secure up your allegiance so they can begin gulping down narcissistic supply from you like an energy vampire. I say that since a narcissist separated from me, did not ever say sorry, and now a woman tried to get attention from me in church but I was on it, and blocked the phone number and email.
The vulnerable covert
Describes most wealthy people. They give money to charity but only to be admired by others. Corporations give money to a charity right before they're about to lay off 10,000 or so of their employees. This way there's less public outcry over the layoffs.
If you work a big corporation and they have a big fundraising event or a charity ball. Look out! It may mean you're about to lose your job.
Saying truthfully "I am a pathologic liar" is like dividing by zero.
Your videos have help me and my family greatly.
From your information we were able to understand that our neighbours were narcissists and we had already endured years of crazy lies. It wasn’t until 2 years ago that all hell broke lose and 💩 got real. After watching your videos we knew our only option was to get the cops involved and install cameras. With more proof and pressure from the cops never ending presence, this pushed our neighbour to move.
We now have a calm situation here at our home and we can enjoy our backyard again.
Thanks for helping us out.
Thank You for the extreme Clarity!
as a person with the diagnosis NPD (been in therapy since the age of 6y/o) i am highly aware of what i am doing, this is all true but we all believe and know this world is cruel due to thw trauma we experienced, demonizing us is not the answer, we struggle way more with our actions than the people around us, i personally am always honest and tell people about my diagnosis as soon as i "like" someone, most ppl do not bother. Its all a game for us and we are the dealer, we cant lose, even if we do, in our innerself we did the right thing if that makes sense. when we split with people, its more like releasing an animal you petted for a while. we lack "empathy" bc our feelings are way more important than anyone elses, what is imo healthy, i have been trained to cause the least amount of pain for the people around me, so i am precieved as really loving and empathic, but having the power of knowing i could completely destroy a person is only fueling my NPD and i precieve myself as merciful. reading all this comments here where you guys tell about your experience seem true, but you cant blame a narcisst for playing this game of life for them, am not sure why am even commenting but telling your friends my ex was a narcisst (in general being called a narcisst gets way too easy away) is just not true, please be careful what you say, bc being a "narcisst" is just become a way to say you are a jerk. Also in the defends of the cheating aspect, most of you guys were a toy in their collection not a equal partner, what really sucks i understand, but i personally would never cheat on my partner :/
Why am i attracted to and attractive to Narcissts? I am so done with PEOPLE now because I am so tired of their abuse.😢
your parents might be narcs
@amys0482 my mother was definitely a narcisst
Spot on! Thank you!
Yeah this sounds right. My mum and older sister suffered from being narcissists. My mum recently died and my sister thinks I'm her slave now. Shes had ppl threaten to kill me. Id rather die than be around a narcissts.
Thankyou for sharing.
Great video.....approaching it in this way makes it easier to look back and reflect.
I noticed too that if they aren't willing to improve their surroundings which is what they actually reflect they are mainly neglecting themselves. For many many many years my brother's home fell apart and he just watched. A visit in 2004 worried me. My daughter and I went to visit again in 2015 and the were plywood boards on the floors due to holes in the floor. It's awful to see my brother and sister in law in it but it's not something I can make them do and I will not fight them to get them to do anything about it. If they fall in inside of it, for four years I spoke to them and encouraged them, and said they shouldn't let it go. I tried.
Wow. Experienced that. Didn't see it for what you described. I've been separated from my husband for 2 years but I remember him watching TV and being annoyed at the gentleman I hired to do some necessary drywall work disturbing his peace. Oh your comment gave me a really clarifying ah ha moment.
I have BPD, it sucks. It's so sad and it's so lonely. I have to lie and manipulate just so i can taste what a relationship feels like. I see i have some of the traits in this video and it hurts me. I don't mean to be evil, i don't mean to be bad. I m so alone, i never asked for this.i hate when i wake up in the morning
👍stay strong brother
All facts!! Great job Clarice 🎉 👏
Greetings, Clarice ..
I appreciate the fact that you speak concisely and to the point.
I also like that you place "supers" or words on the screen.
All this gives IMPACT to what you are saying !
Good work and thank you !
Thank you so much!
I subscribed you when you had 200s subscribers, now you have over 100 thousands....😄😄😄😄😄😃😃😃😃😃😃👍👍👍👏👏👏👏👏👏
Hi Mark. It has been a while. Glad to know you are still here😊
I had a lot of people in my life over the years, only one can I say without a doubt that I was with was a hundred percent of narcissist, probably even worse than that. You are describing him to a tee and that person actually tried to kill me when I said I was leaving. It wasn't out of love, it was about all of the information I had on them.
Love the video
5 star reading! So true! Ive been there! But no more
Excellent video as always ❤ Thank you very kindly for being a ray of truth, hope, strength, love !! ☀️💗☀️
I just had a 4 year sentence end with a narcissist romance scammer.. yes, double whammy! The damage it has done to me mentally physically, emotionally and financially is devastating and permanent. . I will never get the money I couldn't afford to lose back. It was life insurance money my caring husband left for my son and i to survive on and we lost him very unexpectedly.
1) I lack empathy
2) I have an aggravated sense of self importance
3) I need a lot of attention
4) I struggle with intimacy
5) I am not accountable
6) I manipulate and exploit others
7) I have a fragile self esteem
8) I never forgive or forget
9) I have have an additive personality
10) I am pathological liar
11) I will gaslight you (not in the video, but they do gaslight others)
12) I am an as*hole (also not in the video, but the truth)
Oh look! This video just described people like Elon Musk and Bill Gates as well as my ex. I survived and left after only 2 years. His next girlfriend and I talked quite often and agreed - the person you date is not the person you get long term. For me, I simply realized he trying to make into someone I was not and was never going to be. I thank my parents everyday for raising strong women in a time when it was not often done.
You just described my ex-wife. 10 of 10. I used to think, well, maybe she’s not a full blown narcissist. But since she is every one of those ten, I guess she is. Thanks for this.
I’m in this boat. It took my friends saying he was a narcissist and me finally researching. Explains a lot.
This is not my first time, but now I realize that this is the road I've been on for many years. Is scary for me.
Hi Charice - Really liked this video, the level of detail you go into on the topic of narcissism is v good. Your voice is v soothing and your pace is not rushed which is greet. V nice presentation. Well Done. Thank You!! God Bless You!! 💕🙏💕
Thank you so much! Glad it was helpful.
You did an excellent job with this video. Thank you.
When I had a turbulent experience with a narc female friend last summer, when I told her to get out of my life (knew her 8 months), she only talked about 'me, I, myself:- I don't want to lose a friend, my feelings have been hurt etc etc.
Hilllllaaarrrious!
Her husband kicked her out so she came to mine.
I saw everything clearly in those days and she was kicked out of 2 homes in a matter of weeks.
A Professional Victim, of course.
My name slandered.
Good. I was living in Moscow and having a reputation for being an as$hole, when in fact, I am an empath, is a great benefit for me.
This way, other narc ex pats stay away.
Thankyou Clarice such wisdom and wise words. I wish I had known this a very long time ago. Truly this needs to be taught at School
Thanks Clarice
I spent 10 years thinking what's wrong with her... I am glad that finaly know what kind of personality she is... unfortunatelly 10 years of my life are lost... no children... no family for her the same...
Every single thing you said in this video, 100% describes the girl I’m dealing with right now. She’s also very immature in her thinking. She is definitely bipolar and has ADHD.
I’ve read up on it and she definitely shows signs of being a sociopath. Unfortunately I’ve become trauma bonded and it’s killing me inside.
Great video and channel 👏 👍 you're so right about these types of people.
Thank you kindly💖
You nailed it 100%!!! After three years with my ex-fiancée, you described her 1:1. Truly uncanny!
Really great comments down below, that is exactly how they are. Great video thank you
The amount of punishment is never enough. Revenge! I still forgive them because they have a condition and they know not what they do even when you tell them. I forgive them because I can’t imagine not being responsible for myself, or not being able to love. They are asked to love, but they know they can’t. It’s sad that everyone asks them to do something that they are incapable of. If that is said about any area of one’s life, it’s got to be torture knowing one is just incapable. God bless them, and forgive them.
You quote the Bible and you sound kind. For those reasons I wonder if you can help me. I left my narcissistic husband 2 years ago after 20 years of marriage. He did all the usual narc stuff. I forgive him I suppose. I don't want anything from him. I release him. However he still insists God wants us to be reconciled. I can't go back to him and have any sanity and while I say I forgive, I still feel angry. What can I do? I don't want to go before unbelievers and ask for help ie ask a judge for divorce and our town is very small and I don't want to ask church leaders here for help because he has friends in the church and they will think I'm crazy. He looks pretty good from the outside even has an online pastoral credential. So, I do nothing about the whole thing. What would be a biblical response? How do I glorify Jesus? Any thoughts you have would be appreciated.
@@cynthiaaustin1763 well I’m not what you think as far as the knowledge of the Bible. But I woke up this morning with this thought from God for myself that might help you somehow.
My ex divorced me, but we were not close to the church peers. God told me that he won’t let her return because she is used to my weakness, and I’m used to being weak for her. So getting back together, God wont allow to happen for us. That’s our situation, maybe not yours. We must consider Gods will, pray and obey….. my grandfather was a Christian pastor and missionary… my mother has divorced twice, and she felt the condemnation for it….. God makes exceptions, and I believe with all my heart he made our divorce happen, so that we COULD flourish in our walk with Christ.
God’s word is his word though, and his ultimate command is written for most relationships. Therefore my only suggestion can be to really lay down your burden before God, really be attentive to what your heart wants, what God wants for you, and what the estranged man in your life is revealing to you.
I’m sorry that I can’t give you an absolute answer, but trusting in God, seek and ye shall find. I pray that God will talk to you clearly and help you determine the right course. A lot could have changed, then again maybe he has just failed and wants you back.
So many things only you can consider. It stinks, I know, but God has all the glory. Amen? God is
@@christopherbrubaker2070 Thank you very much for your considerate response. Your belief that your divorce was allowed by God that your relationship with Him could flourish is eye opening to me. Thank you for sharing that. You said you were used to being weak around your ex wife. I automatically "people please" with my husband as an automatic default and it is detrimental all around. Your comment about unhealthy ingrained roles in the relationship was especially helpful too. I want nothing more than to glorify, obey and please Jesus so I will do what you suggested and lay the whole mess at His feet and leave it there. Thank you for your kindness in taking the time to respond. I haven't known where to turn but when I read your words that were Jesus' words on the cross, something in my spirit said ask him. May God bless you. Thank you again.
@@cynthiaaustin1763 I’m so glad this helped. You are obviously cherished as a child of God, I can tell. May your days be made sure, and your heart renewed. God bless you
So on point
I'm blown away by your insight Clarice. Are there any reading materials you recommend? I shouldn't really focus on the topic but I'm still suffering because it and my ex's unconscionable behaviour so I might as well educate myself further. Thank God my little daughter is not displaying her mother's traits so far.
If narcissists were capable of being honest, they would not be narcissists.
Catch 22
Oh my. I really wanna send this to a certain person. I can't, cuz they're outta my life, but it'd sure be interesting to be a fly on their wall when they opened it. :)
Who else here was branded as a narc by their narc abuser...who also said you are not only a narc but also an abuser?! This is the ultimate gaslight of the narc abuser
For no reason names are thrown about in an argument
1. I lack empathy
2. I have an exaggerated sense of self, filled with pride
3. I need a lot of attention, all recognition, constant validation, must have supply
4. I struggle with intimacy. Not loyal to anyone.
5. I am not accountable for negative actions. Always blame.
6. I manipulate and exploit others. Everything is off balance
7. I have a fragile self esteem/ ego
8. I never forgive or forget. Never stop seeking revenge
9. I have an addiction personality
10. I am a pathological liar
So accurate. 😟
Oh he was honest buy in way that would make it look as though it has happened or he was doing it or already did and then would watch my reaction then smirk laugh and walk away
I dont think narcs would get isolated if telling truth. Because they would stop being narcissist and start being real person fith deep life experience.
If only they could change.
@@z32luvr But they are constitued.
Total delusional. My Covert narcissist mother is telling how great was har family spec father who was the cause for har covert narcissism - her mother she hated, but in private - but she was not a narcissist
And at the same time she steals a storry heard from my aunt about the third person to fake nonexisting sufferings to take the victim pose - starts to repeat storries heard from other people which is not about her,
So she lives in delusion, hides and protects roots of her real trauma, even thow she needs the vistim image.
People would be compassionate if she realy told about her real childhood trauma and was a FAIR and HONEST and open person
But now she is ending as a covert narc - undiscovered, refusing to heal, harming people around first her childern and grandchildren. But she will get discoveret with time.
They have gone in delusion and are cowards. Thats why they have become narcissists and thats why they will not change.
They had 2 ways but chose the wrong way in childhood - appropriate for their weak dishonest character.
Possibly
"I'm a manipulative psychopath and I love to see you in pain and im not sorry"
You nailed it
AN EYE-OPENER, I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT I WAS UP AGAINST, BUT I THOUGHT THEY THOUGHT LIKE ME, I HAVE 2 TO DEAL WITH, ITS NO WONDER MY LIFE HAS BEEN SO DIFFICULT, A WHOLE FAMILY WAS MY GIFT FROM GOD, I HOPE IT WAS TO HELP ME TO SEE REAL EVIL IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME, I KNEW IT BUT I HADN'T WATCHED THESE UTUBE VIDEOS, I THINK I DISMISSED IT ALL BECAUSE I WAS SO USED TO IT AND I DIDN'T THINK IT AS BAD AS IT REALLY WAS!! WHY I WAS SO OBSESSED WITH EVIL!
Pure real , truth. ❤
Wow I just learned not only am I a narcissist I’m a total piece of crap. Everything she said I have done or do. How does someone change now that the light of truth has been shown on the darkness one has been hiding? I don’t want to be this person anymore. How do I change to become a better person? How do I become whom God made me to be?
Therapy and prayer can help.
I think your one of the ones who can be saved
👍stay strong brother
@@nolesy34 thank you I need to hear that I’m shocked I’ve let myself turn into such a monster without being aware of it.
@@billycranston5481 im glad to help 👍
This is 💯 percent true! They will NEVER be happy! Unless some nut does EVERYTHING THEY say! Still, will not be happy!
You just described Cormac Mears ( original roots in county Mayo in Ireland, lives in London, DOB: 7/09/1978 - this information is by request of another commentator who is worried that innocent person with the same name can get in trouble unfairly ) in every detail. Everytime I said something he did not like or that didn't suit his agenda to have cold-blooded sex with me without feelings or called him out on his lies, he asked me why am I insulting him.....even the slightest thing was taken by him as an insult, back then I could not understand why he is insulted by me all the time if I just say things for what it is. I told him that I just speak my mind and cannot be silenced when there are so many red flags. They are such insecure individuals.
I haven't heard it phrased that way before but "cold blooded sex" sums it up exactly, unfortunately.
It is a very sad and lonely experience. Especially since sex is supposed to be connection. ❤️
@@alanam.1615 sex is not a connection without emotional and intellectual connection as well. If it is just sex - there is no connection at all. Sexual chemistry alone is just an illusion of a connection and that is what npd men strive for - to create an illusion at the beginning that you have a connection together.
@@alanam.1615 if you don't have shared values in life and you have only sexual connection then it is just "cold blooded sex". No connection here and they don't care about you, don't love you, don't attach to you in a healthy way like emotionally and mentally healthy people do. It is for them that sex is a connection because they are not capable of feeling, giving and receiving love and healthy patterns/dynamics. Therefore cold sex/drugs/alcohol/gambling/superficial money power are the only things that can temporarily make them happy/content/calm/relaxed.
You really shouldn't use names - it can cause damage to someone else that has the same name.
@GEE yes, perhaps you are right. It was just anger. I needed to let it out.
Let's simplify. They would say:
Your wants, needs and opinions are an annoyance to me. If you weren't so stupid you'd see that I am always right and you would always do whatever I want you to. Furthermore, if there is ever a problem with anything, it is your fault. I'm infallible. YOU are the problem.
They are empty, fragile, and desperately clinging to external validation. It is sad, but they are so deeply recessed into their own distorted experience that they will never be able to see you as anything but a crutch. They are drawn to hierarchal systems that allow them to follow rules and check boxes on lists that affirm their directionless moral compass as "good". Anyone who does not clearly validate this mindless pursuit is perceived as a threat, and that is when they lash out with all the manipulation and abuse in an attempt to protect their fragile ego from experiencing reality. Gray Rocking is the only real answer. Ignore them and distance yourself from getting sucked into their attempts to use you to feed this cycle. Play dumb and walk away as soon as you see them coming.
it is genuine.. I truely believe that they are sorry they got caught and if you give them another chance, you won't catch them the next time.
it isn't fragility.... it's evil. if you question God..... God said it were gold, you tested it... how dare you test it....... see... if God says "It is gold, ship it.".. but you tested it first...... now you report back to God that it is not gold..... where as, You accept that it is gold, because God said so, so you shipped it.. when it got to its destination it were inspected and it is not gold.. now God wants you to produce the gold that He swears you stole from God.
bear in mind, I left the radio on one night.... I woke up to the radio being destroyed. my arm got hurt. I had to wash dishes, and I got spanked.
It ended when I said "No." if I hand't... I'd still be paying for it to this day.
that isn't narcissism. It's actually "trolls" that demand a lbs of human flesh for the least offense, for all time.
You can see them all over the internet.
that lot wants blood... and is never satisfied.......... they are the literal definition of "monsters."
Yet, I consider controlling others, to be narcissistic....... I simply class the trolls in another group as the trolls might not be narcissistic.
We are talking about people with problems, not monsters and you also have problems if you carried on a relationship with such people. Be accountable for yourself.
Tell that to the neglected abused child of a narc....
@@stingylizard that's a relationship you can't choose of course. Just saying we should be aware of ourselves not just blame others. We can't change other people but we can empower ourselves to protect ourselves.
I video describing shelley.
Many traits apply to nearly everyone. Short videos like this is why it's such a misused term by people that don't want to work to better thier relationships. .. thier Problem. Not mine.