Yes my ex Narc can't replace me I don't care how much he tries Why ? Because I m a super empathetic beautiful person.He can't top me. Narc ty for making me stronger
I discarded the covert narc husband 3 weeks ago after 20 years. I planned my exit, gave him no closure, and took my power back!! Never give up hope! You have to love yourself enough to leave!!! You can't change them or fix them they are damaged goods. Its all about YOUR happiness and the happiness of YOUR kids, these individuals don't care or love you never did let that sink in and accept that survivors. The longer you stay the worse things become. I thank God everyday that I am free!!!
@@Anna-eu8px Great! Go for it!! Don't. tell. him. anything. Operate in stealth mode outsmart the narcissist. Move fear out of the equation. Consult a family lawyer who specializes in domestic violence because that's what it is, violence and abuse against you. They can tell you how to appropriately handle the situation since you have assets together.
@@Anna-eu8px Smear campaigns are a given with toxic individuals making you look crazy while they play the victim. Mine blames me for breaking up the family and I could care less lol. Hopefully your adult kids will be supportive and support your decision to leave, if not...oh well, its your life to live! Make sure you have support from a friend or family member who can encourage you along the way. Arm yourself with knowledge and you will know how to break him top exec and all. He is not God. Hope this helps...bless you!
I left my covert Narc husband 3 months ago after 23 years together 18 married. I had no choice but to jump from the toxic roller coaster ride. I'm filing for divorce very soon. I think you and I have suffered long enough. I couldn't allow him to suck not another drop of energy from my soul. Just like you said I'm free! I feel so much better and am looking forward to the future. I'm a survivor. Thank You Jesus!! Good luck to you.
When you discard a narcissist don't expect narcissist will go sad or suicidal. They lack courage and bravery they never do that..instead they will quickly find someone else who can fulfill their needs. Coward narcissists
Yup they don't have the stones to even attempt suicide. It's all for show and effect. I tried to commit suicide while I was with the narc. I'm much better now and free of him and his constant drama, agony and the betrayal was so much.
@@resilience_onward don't give them the satisfaction of seeing u hurt. Whatever happen to you they just don't care, these are soulless peoples. They don't deserve u. Be happy. May God be with you 🤞🍀🌹✨
@@dhrubajyoti14 I swear this girl I’m in a relationship has no soul..no remorse…cannot cry..I’ve ever seen her she’d a tear.but boy I sure have..she’s destroyed my self esteem..and my soul..I’ve absolutely treated her like royalty..but she will ghost me and be out with other men…until she decides it’s my turn again
It's interesting the term monster that you use, I was married to my ex wife for 37 years and I to used that term as well to describe her. They are monsters aren't they.
I am 76, and a year ago I had to end the relationship with my sister, my only sibling, and her family because of a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and high drama. I can imagine that behind the scenes she will be playing the victim and slandering me at every opportunity. Terrible situation, but I'll have a more peaceful, honest, and generally more pleasant life without her.
I'm 35 and in similar situation. I've been the target of narc abuse from my Covert narc older sisters for years...it's crazy how we can go years not even knowing what what we were experiencing, but with research, coming to the understanding and healing, the feeling of empowerment is awesome. Best wishes to you Sir!
It's amazing the punishment we empaths put ourselves through for these people, I'm sorry that you, all of us empaths go through but I'm happy that your free from this evil sickness of the Narc don't look back love and respect go two ways.
Absolutely! The narcissist woman told me she has suffered without me! She and her flying monkeys were all defeated and I've moved on with my life! No more narcissist forever!
Yes. I believe some narcissists do suffer when the irreplaceable supply leaves them. My ex narc stayed close to me, attentively called me 3 times a day, without fail yet still managed to ruin the relationship by getting another supply and although he hid her, my intuition served me well that he was stunned that I knew about her
I always have to cut off narcissists, because they never want to leave me. I'd rather be discarded by them, so I don't have to deal with a stalker for life, but I refuse to keep toxic people in my life who want to manipulate, devalue, and control me.
That’s funny bcuz that was my plan to get the narc to discard me so I didn’t have to speak to them again BUT they always just make threats of leaving but never keep their ass gone lol
Are we/I whimping out by my "running away". What about the conflict that makes them so intimidated that you achieve the dominant outcome of mutually agreed upon separation. Don't tell me I can't do it. My narcissistic father has a rabid hold on the whole family and I will achieve separation if it kills one of us. It is the only way. But my victory will be in the spiritual realm and therefore there is no need to call the police.
The sad thing is that you have to do it after so many semi-discards from them. Their "discards" are FAKE, and they always want you or I around for supply. Only you or I could do THE TRUE discard. (Good for you for doing what I used to fail to do too often before I finally did it myself!)
So true. My son was and had been abusing me hard out. I called him out and told him to pack up n piss off. Tears sorry hugs love you followed instantly. Next came even more hard core gaslighting triangulating and in came his flying monkeys. The discard has been my win
Thank you, I discarded my ex, I think he may have been expecting it, but I have done it in the past and ended up talking to him again, so I think he thought that would happen when I run into him a few days later. I ignored him turned my back on him and walked away. He pretended he was having a good time with friends but I know it was a show for me. I really don’t care what happens to him now, when I’m done, I’m done.
They keep hoovering and stalking you when you discard them. One thing I’ve been noticing is that there’s a lot of negativity online about being the person that leaves. There’s this mindset that the person that leaves is the bad guy and the person that gets left is the victim. I feel like most of the time it’s the victim that’s leave. They’re one that has something to run away from.
if you are a true empath (we all have some degree) let your intuition guide you, more often than not its right when it comes to a narcissist 😊 remember you were and are emotionally stronger than the narcissist ever will be. It took time to break you down so it will take time to rebuild your true authentic self but the journey is truly life changing and worth ever second. stay strong❤
50 days no contact today and I’ve only received 2 no caller ID numbers and an attempt to get information out of me through his friend. I was a primary source of Grade A supply so I highly doubt he’s done yet- just waiting on a good time to worm his way back in- thankfully Ive come to my senses and shut n locked/ blocked that door forever- and thrown away the key- there’s no way back for him!
I have had 3 narcs in my life over the years, including my ex husband. Luckily, I'd gotten smart enough to not waste as much time in the 2 relationships as I did in my marriage. These relationships never work out. You end up wasting so much of your time in the hopes that one day things will go back to how they were in the beginning. Time is your greatest commodity. You can never get the time that a narcissist takes from u back. Please put yourself and your sanity first.
I can definitely relate! I left my ex (taking our children and the Family pet) and only gave him 1 day notice! And that was only because I could no longer hide the moving boxes. That was 2 years ago and we have SUPER low contact because he barely sees the kids. Yet he is doing ALL that he can to stall our divorce proceedings 🙄 He is feeling that narc injury til this day!! Thank God for your channel and others like it! ❤🙏🏽
Clarice’s channel and Little Shaman Healing are among the best channels for straight-from-the-shoulder types of information. I’ve benefited from them the most, with others like Surviving Narcissism running close behind.
@@finallyfree3847 It’s totally PEACEFUL, isn’t it? You may have to help your children to have trauma therapy, if any were sensitive to their biological father’s behaviors. My father’s behaviors impacted my life so badly, that I was in therapy for decades. EMDR/CBT trauma therapies before and after my second “failed” relationship (partner an undiagnosed NPD), helped me to heal. THAT relationship was a total of almost 30 years. I’m thankful that we didn’t have children. Again, congratulations! You did it!!!
I discarded my ex Narcissist and he's been struggling every since,4 years.....5 women ..currently living in a rooming house with single men,he's bitter and still arrogant 😏😏😒😑
My wife was trying to discard me, she was trying to leave me, but when I figured out that she was a narcissist I flipped it around and left her. Even though that is what she wanted that's not the way she wanted it to happen. She went nuts, one minute she was bashing me and slandering me and the next minute she was begging me to let's work it out. Most of the terrible things she said to me or about me she acts like she never said them or like she doesn't remember saying them. Will the crazy ever end? ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!
I feel for you. I’ve just recently got away from my covert narc but have 2 small kids with him and one on the way. I know that I will never have a normal life again but I’d rather not be around him 24/7 and live that kind of unnormal life (but without him near me). I’m fully aware that it will be difficult to deal with him still over the kids 😔
I discarded him 7 months ago.. ive experienced many hoover attempts after 4 months to now so I had to call the police to warn him off and now moving house. Its the only way to heal and protect yourself x
I was stalked and harassed for 2 solid years….. it’s a Horrible place to be! I was hacked, stalked, devalued to all possible. Beware these types! Dangerous indeed! ⚠️☢️
@@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723 thank you for sharing.. yes I was hacked too and he lives around the corner from me so feel I have to move now to be able to heal going forward. It's horrible how they invade your life x
@@daniellegotheridge6406 I think you are wise to move. I tried grey rocking and he and those aligned with him harassed me constantly. Until, I learned how to absolutely defend myself.
It’s so true when Clarice said their describing a relationship that didn’t exist!!! And the sad truth is, they want us, the real victim🙋🏽♀️in the situation to validate their lying delusional version! They truly want it to be an “us” that was toxic or that ruined the relationship. It’s so deep when you think of the abuse, and the level of love, acceptance and forgiveness we gave over and over and over, only to have them say in one of their cut down fests, you ruined the whole relationship. It was nothing short than devastating when the narcissist would loudly display their lack of empathy and their inability to love while they shout from the mountains how horrible you were and continue the abuse while yet claiming to be the victim! Those are truly the things that would hurt me the most even when it was over. And I left the narcissist every time they never left once, but there was a always a heavy price to pay for that as well. You truly have a quick choice to make in order to have some sanity because the experience is enough to give you a nervous breakdown. I take narcissist abuse more serious than anything it can truly alter a good hearted person. Thank God when we can come out and be better than what we were with them. Only by Gods grace!🙏🏾 -Truly humbled.
@@amygee4028 Yes Amy I will never get use to it ever! But if another one run up I will be done first go round ain’t no more yrs months or more weeks after the exposure
I discarded a narcissist. Toughest thing I ever did. Moved 5 states away. He only hovered twice begging for me to return. But there was no way. He sent all the flying monkeys in. This all happened 25 years ago and back then I had no idea of what a narcissist was. It’s amazing how therapeutic you have been for me. Thank you so very much for your work!
I discarded mine first, only to accept an hoover 2 days later, which lasted that day and then she discarded me, Power on her side. very clever, sly people.
After leaving him with no contact he tried his best to say how sorry he was couldn't we work it out all that. Then got mad and admitted he had been cheating on me for the last year! I was so grateful that I had left him before he could discard me. Thank u God!
I can relate when you said that they play the victim after you break up with them. That’s exactly what my ex fiancé is doing. He makes it seem that I did all the hurting in the relationship when in fact his Narcissistic bullshit is what pushed me away!!
I have had similar experience with this Clarice. I discarded my narcissist very recently and they are masters of playing the victim. I just couldn’t stand her playing the victim anymore so I had to get away. Thank you again for this video my hon.
They rage. Then like years later you get a random message from them. I called it a boomerang, but the term i learned is hoovering. Doesn't matter whether it was an ex lover, old friend or a colleague. They all do that
I had already discarded my neighbour narc when it stopped me 8 months later to invite me to her birthday party (she was throwing it for herself in her 50's - her 3rd in two years). I just walked past as she continued talking and went on my merry way. Three people actually turned up for this one but i did not. She knew I was home. The next day she took to slamming and banging things around and even launched into a tirade from the other side of the wall we share. I did not respond. She then claimed I was attacking her and called police who dismissed her manipulations. That was two years ago. She's caused no end of drama and smear campaigns against me which has consistently received no response. I know it will never end. The damage, suspicion and corrosion she's caused is extraordinary. My indifferent demeanor hides a desire for revenge.
Thank you very much, Clarice, and a happy Sunday to you ! it's too late for me to discard in the traditional way the narcissist as she has already run off to a new life for herself but as a result of repeated verbal abuse and emotional abuse and other forms of intolerable behavior that continue since the narcissist left I am going to get an order of protection from her....it's my way of saying "NO MORE" abuse will be tolerated! It has taken me 3 1/2 years to get to this point...🙌I finally feel relieved! 🙌
I had to do the same thing and followed through on his DV charge which I was fully prepared to testify in trial but he took a deal but was still a felony conviction....he went to prison which was a perfect ending to that toxic relationship
After 35 years of constant gaslighting and shameless manipulation, I have finally found a way to stop the “conversation” with my utterly toxic brother. The last time we met, three weeks ago, I only said one word to him (“hi”) and that was it. His own son no longer wants to speak to him either… so during an in comfortable family gathering, he played the victim while showering our parents he once despised with constant love and attention. He then left without saying a word, probably fuming at us. He is "lucky" to have our parents as the typical enabling flying monkeys - I’m not angry anymore, anger being a negative and time-consuming emotion, but my main relief comes from the fact I live 6000km from him and his despicable manipulations. I am feeling I have succeeded in freeing myself as I no longer care about him. FINALLY. I certainly don’t hate him but I don’t love him either.
They will try anything they can in their dirty little play book, they can dish it out but they can't take it, once you come to the conclusion in life that you can't put up with them anymore and throw in the towel your done ✅ and they can't take it, it's a big time narcissist injury 🤕 you smashed their pathetic ego, but you did this for yourself 👍 up Clarice and survivors and thrivers 🙏 🦋 close all the doors and lock 🔐 them up and don't let them stay rent free in your mind.
You're right! They always want to get you back to revenge. When he found out he got a serious health condition. At first, he wants to play as a victim, wants to leave this world to make me feel bad but now he really cares about his health, wants to live. I no longer believe in what he said!
I discarded a narcissist after 20 year marriage and every aspect of my life has been so much better! I armed myself with knowledge, went through tremendous growth and healing. He still can't comprehend what has happened and attempts to Hoover. I am strong, have absolutely no interest or empathy for someone who had no empathy for me.
Kid you NOT; she asked me to come back politely twice. Then begged twice. Then... asked my family and friends. Her life essential fell apart... Me lay low and mined my owned business
All I did was not wanting to date anybody and she took it very personal. Been harassing me twice for that after two attempts for a relationship with me for a total of 2.5 years
I had to discard narcissist, with help of authorities, because she returned before. The Judge surprised me 6 month Order of Protection and after 10 week review, the Judge added another year. I am healing without anger, "poor me" or victimization. Fortunately, I don't have this disorder. I hope she finds the help she needs. My life feels so abundant. No longer being drained. Continue on your mission, for you are helping so many.
I had no clue of NPD these videos weren't around back in the day. Every word in this video is on point; (diffinitely my experience). after I discarded him; he cried out loud, begged, pleaded, and so much more, than came the stalking & hoover this went on for months. He was unsuccessful I stayed strong never went back to that toxic ass hole. That narc ended up on drugs. Thank goodness for your videos they're educational and informative. 🙏🏾
Kids should be taught in HGH school about narcissistic how to spit them how to deal with them etc. I’m in my 50’s and just realized exactly who in my life was a narcissistic and how I wasted so much time and energy on them.
That's exactly what she said when I told her to leave me alone, she said " I'm shocked . She also said " I love you and your kid's " . Nope I still wont befriend her again.
After been gaslighted, accused, and manipulated for a month, I decided to discard my narcissistic boss and go no contact. I broke my working contract and leave my job. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't stand her behavior any longer. She drove me crazy and almost got me to believe if I have OCD/OCPD. It's been 10 days now. As expected, she bad mouthing me to everyone in the office. One of my close friend told me that.
I love it! After so many discards by both parties, they FINALLY they have no room for margin for error from me. I've been discarded too FOR STANDING UP FOR MYSELF. Zero shame from me,, either way. More like, let's just END THIS once and for all and let you get the "win" (if their childish ego is STILL that damaged!)
A few months ago , I discarded my narcissist ex but kept contact. A few weeks later, I went no contact and changed my workplace. Since then, he has always been trying to contact me in different ways, but I ignore him. Most recently, he came to my city and tried to pursue me to meet him, and I turned him down. One thing is certain. He is never going to give up, and thanks to your lessons, I am never breaking the no contact.
We discarded our narcissistic roommates. This video is so accurate. They slandered us (especially me) to EVERYONE they could. One of them was my former foster "sister" of barely 2 years back in high school. She made sure ALL of her biological siblings, friends, and contacts were informed how "evil" and "toxic" WE were for telling her no. Although she left that part out. She AND her bio-sister (our other roommate) were both angry and upset with us for not allowing our children to be around them any longer after multiple violent outbursts from BOTH that damaged our rental property. We were even contacted by outside sources from the issues in order to see how we felt or even try to shame us for standing our ground and keeping up the thick wall that won't let them back into our lives.
The discard was taking too long so I left 🤣 he always claimed that I was annoying when we were together but kept emailing (was blocked on everything - phone, social media, etc) and then calling from random numbers. Dude, these new numbers are blocked too. Go AWAY
We had many times where I would break away as it seemed our values weren't aligned but he would always Hoover me back. I wish I had known at the time that is what it was but I always wanted to hear that stuff I believed he was capable of and the love was worth it and real. In the end, I had to wait until he discarded me by actually breaking up with me, which he said he did because he thought I would do it to him, which makes no sense now that I think of it, because I had tried that several times before and they weren't stunts. The only change in me was saying no a lot more to their demands and not engaging in the dramas like I used to which meant he had to escalate the dramas. If you want to break free, just keep saying no!
I discarded my ex over a year ago, unexpectedly, it hurt him bad. After the indirect rage and insults etc he turned into the victim! I blocked him everywhere and never allowed him near me. I am at absolute peace since being away from him, feel I can live my life. I became aware that he recently tried contacting me via my 'words with friends' mobile app lol! I don't feel safe playing it now with random people and have had to change settings! Lol. Seemed like he wanted to hold onto 'something' and 'anything'. I can't stand him or his narcissistic traits, I find them disgusting.
Cynthia ,as the saying goes " if the devil cannot find you he will send a narcissist " ? Now ,there must be a good purpose to your life ,as you , like me have been surrounded in a nest of Narcs . sadly ,so must be something good entering your life good luck Cynthia !
It's not you, it's THEM! I used to sorta buy into that "if there's one finger pointing out, there's THREE pointing back at you" saying. Until it happened to me a few years ago! No longer afraid to call out multiple narcs at once virtually. I do it politely, but they still RAGE OUT or get caught in a draw dropping lie or laugh and all but dare me to take some more. (Good!! I confirmed a previously unsuspected enemy for being JUST THAT instead.) Like yourself it's a plural thing, definitely not singular. Scary to say because I could be called 'paranoid." But as Nirvana sang in 'Territorial Pissings', "Just because you're paranoid. Does not mean THEY'RE NOT after you...GOT TO GET AWAY. GET AWAY. GET AWAY!"
What are you talking about. A pretty young woman like you has 1000’s of options and still you choose the wrong guys for the wrong reasons. Just adjust your mentality a bit and you’ll be safe for the rest of your life.
I have just found out about this dis order and it has affected my marriage before we even got married to each other 21 yrs ago. I'm just learning about this and how to survive from it, move on from it and why this happens so thanks to these videos and others that shed light on situation being married to a narcissis woman who had me snow balled. I say a big THANK YOU to all for getting this out providing the facts an information on this topic.
Idk if you are still married to her but I just want to let you know that no one has the right to tell you to do this or that. Many commentors or contentors on YT and outside family or friends are very eager to say that you should leave a narcissist. But they dont have the right to intervere in your marriage and tell you what you need to do with your wife. Being married with a narcissist can be extremely stressfull. But being divorced can sometimes be worse.
I divorced my ex wife this year and it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to do. I blamed myself for many things but I’ve come to accept that she was going to do what she wanted no matter what. My consolation is that she exposed herself as a hypocrite, lost everything and will never find anyone as good as I am again.
As a comment reader I am genuinly curious how you are doing now one year later. Do you still think it was a good choice or do you feel you’re doing worse now? And don’t worry, I am not a flying monkey 😂😅
I discarded my narc and never looked back... but payed a heavy price. what rage was unleashed on me I can't even begin to tell the horror story...suffice to say....30yrs later he is still stalking me ! Why ?
Just quit social media. Change your phone number. Know that no matter what you do you will have a smaller circle of friends and family. Best to be in control of that, you decide who gets the new number. And if social media is too important then quit it and go back 3 to 6 months later with a new ID. Peace!
Thank you for taking the time to explain all these things. I am the scapegoat of a malign narcissist paternal figure and, damn, I feel everything you say in the video. Got out of 18 yrs of abuse with c-ptsd and, obviously, a few narcissistic traits myself. I think a big step in personal healing, recovery, growth, is to realize the abuser is not going to change his behavior like he changes between manipulation techniques ( bittersweet joke, but humor helps deal with s**t in life, right?); then, there is the moment when people actually leave from under their influence, which some do earlier, some later, some never. If anyone reading finds themselves still in a relationship with an abuser AND still finds excuses for them, please, I beg of you, break up from wishful thinking and see what people do to you, willingly, consciously, repeatedly. Then, I believe should start the healing process, both trough introspection and pushing one's limits in resigning reality as it was, as it is, all things that hurt and why they hurt, and with professional help, from someone specialized in traumas. People need to learn to learn from their experiences and rejoice their memories, for they hold the key of our wisdom. Why? Because they tell us the root of the problems, of the hurt; once you know the root of an illness, you have a better understanding on how to deal with it. And where to learn from better, than your own experience? Face fears, unpleasant traits, learn from mistakes and regrets. Make difference between feeling and thinking. And yes, I know, those who feel the need to preach about what others should do just show a big sign of depression ( never said I'm not clinically depressed ); but I ain't preaching what I haven't done myself. Take care everyone!
I neither Love or hate the idea that they will laugh and smirk thinking they got rid of you. But in reality you just got so tired of the pain and trying to be their friend. Trying to make them feel safe. Happy. I wish they were capable of accepting kindness 💖
Your videos are really waking me up, educating me and making me a bit afraid at the same time. I'm beginning to believe that I am in a relationship with a Narcissist. I have been in the relationship for 2 years, I remember the love bombing stopped after 6 months then, I would get devaluation in the form of staying away and ignoring me. And now I get the feeling in the past 3 months a new source of supply has been acquired.
When I finally recognized the futility of hoping for improvement or even a tolerable status quo with my ex-fiancé, I wrote her a Dear Jane letter. She basically never spoke to me again and it was clear at the only time I encountered her at the public library that she was very angry and rude. I spoke kindly to her until the very end.
I know a narc who was dramatically discarded by her husband. Yes she went into full victim mode....although she admitted she'd scammed him out of money and was having affairs. Really?
But you can't say that now because some BRAINWASHED gynocentric and/or feminist "womyn" think that men are ALLEGEDLY the majority of narcissists. Full crocodile tears mode? Nowadays expected from a full-blown NARC or a situational narc because accountability is KRYTONITE to most woman PERIOD
At 71 yrs. old I went no contact 6 mo. ago. The "golden child" older sister took over before mom died. She's been on a rabid smear campaign against me. Blessings to all here!
When I was finally able to get away from my boyfriend of 6 years he told everyone terrible lies about me, even to my friends who knew better. Yet, here it is 4 years later and still cannot get rid of him. Last month I moved out of town, an hour away. If I did all the things he said I did, one would think that he would be happy to be rid of ME. He is still playing his games. Now I am thinking of moving to another state.
I discarded a narc friend that was in my life for over 20 years. He hoovered me about 5 months later and invited me to the cinema. I shot him an email indicating that it was truly over. It's sad yet empowering to do the discarding. There is something masochistic about the action. In my humble opinion, there are too many unknown unknowns between narc-empath connections. It is a very intense pain because you saw through them; I felt like I learned his language and dissed him in his own 'secret tomgue.'. It's a very draining, pulverizing experience. Defeating them is like beating up 5 bullies in one time but leaves one with a broken hand. A severely broken hand.
I discarded and was immediately discarded right back. He posted some love songs on social media with my name but he has not tried to come back and I don’t believe he will.
I heard to discard him. He had too Much drama,,. He would come home tell me to get a gun to shoot him,,.He even again told me another time that I was poisoning him slowly in his food. I had enough..I decided to get our and Live in peace 🙏🙏🙏 He is.still following me. Making himself a victim Thank You 🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏💞💕💕
My wife and I are undergoing divorce. I have been trying to implement bo contact. The children dread being with her. She wants custody of the children but the children do not want as they have been subjected to manipulation and control. We still stay in the same house but I have been behaving like she does not exist and it is driving her insane. My concern is that she now threatens me through SMS saying she is planning to relocate to another province (300 kilometers away). She knows that the kids and I are close. Our divorce is not finalised. She finds creative ways of getting us to talk behind the lawyers' back and I have been resisting because I know her tricks. I do not know how to approach the relocation story because I never responded to it. The kids do not wamt to relocate.
Kudos to you for keeping your head straight while being forced to juggle 5 pins of flames at once. The Westfarms Mall is unfortunately that men are GUILTY till proven innocent. Stay safe like you are. Stay strong! Let that WITCH mealt into a puddle of piss inevitabley. She'll do the self-damage herself
Oh my God this was meant for me, because I recently got out of a 24-year relationship with the ex narcissist 🤡had no idea he was I saw the change in him2021 and that's when I got out of the relationship I discarded him right away ,🎯I downplayed it where it wouldn't be no problem, he bought it but tried to get back in ,🏃♀️and I told him it would be best for me to move on ,he knew something but he didn't know because he said whoever told you anything about me! it's not true😬 I never said anyting😬🤷♀️🤣💪 run
Do you have a video about narcs starting fights before bdays or standing you up on special days etc? Mines started a fight day before bday, only got a txt so never did what he claimed he had planned to only then the day after bday to play victim !
Narcissists do that to upset you and also so that they don't have to do anything nice for you. It is a very strategic, selfish tactic.I think it would be included in this video ruclips.net/video/aNLMyKi5PuQ/видео.html It is a passive aggressive behaviour of the Narcissist to sabotage and disappoint.
@@ExposingtheNarcissist it’s weird bcuz he has done many things for me before but it’s a control thing I guess only do for you and kind of it serves them! Now he won’t stop calling yet the one day that supposed to be my bday he abandoned me!
@@ExposingtheNarcissist for me that was too abusive and outta all things this one was a BIG deal! He is the one who future faked and acted like he had things set up…I didn’t ask for anything materialistic but a sunflower! So you mean to tell me Im not worth $6 or even $1 for a card!? Naaahhh That was just evil if you ask me straight up cruel! and I know it was revengeful and his way of paying me back for something ive done and that’s even more sick!
I escaped my ex- covert narc of 3 1/2 years. (Live together 1 year) few months ago. First couple years I probably would see her 2 days 1 night a week. I worked a lot with a busy on-call schedule. I look back and think “I was a side supply”! I noticed some things that where odd. She has said the word “You” more then I have ever heard somebody say any word. Couldn’t take a joke and noticed at her family holiday dinner she would always one up her sister story. I down play everything by saying “she just has a lot of pride.” Or “she just very competitive.” What little I knew. I’m a truth teller and I’d make fun of her for these actions. But would always have to convince her I’m joking. Then I moved in…. First couple months ok. Then mask was starting to slip. Couple of bad things happen to me almost back to back and I noticed a joy in her when I told her. Not a in your face joy but I saw it. I just think can’t be right. That’s some sick shit. Another negative thing happened and I saw joy again. I googled what I had experienced. Quickly as I pushed SEARCH narcissism was everywhere. My mind was blown. I call her out and yes I saw the videos on why you shouldn’t. I had to let her know and I called her out on so many lies. We all know she doesn’t listen and calls me a narcissist. I said f”*€’ it and go Grey Rock. Until I can orchestrate my escape which took 5 months. It was a nightmare and I maybe slipped into a few traps but pretty much played the game. I did end up in the garage on air mattress last couple months but still played a funnier grey rock character. She lied I’d tell her calmly your lying. I’d open door to bedroom kinda fast to laugh at her panicking knowing she in her phone chatting with whoever. Deep down this shit was hurting me. Person I loved was not even real. WTF! It was so lonely those last few months. I was getting all of the covert narcs specialties. Her daughter and, mom live there too and could tell they had been givin orders to triangulate. She’d mix the good days of course. I’d be freezing in garage and she’d be like come to bed as if she concerned and confused why I’m out there. I’d say oh ok. Don’t judge I was freezing. I finally move out but had to leave a couple my fish tanks at her pad. She would act like she changed. I’d spend the night here and there. Then she starts texting me all sorts of YOU blame. Then she says it’s over and I’m like ok I thought that’s why I moved out. Next weekend comes and I get FB notification which I never do. It’s her on a weekend getaway with new supply. She got me good
I think even if this person is in your social circle, you can create a zero contact space in which you do not greet, acknowledge or engage in conversation when you are in a group social setting. He will have plenty of supply and if he tries to antagonize you in front of everyone, do not speak or react, just ignore him.
I broke up with him first and he BEGGEDDDD AND CRIEDDD to have me back, apologized a million times, told me i was right, told me he cant live without me, loves me, misses me etc. I took him back against knowing better. In the beginning he was being all sweet (love bombing again) and not much later he started the devaluing, started suddenly disappearing sometimes and in the end he ghosted me, discarded me, 2 days before I was going to fly to his country to see him.
A narcissist needs himself! If you find out that someone or others in your narcissist 's life leave this unhealthy relationship as soon as possible! When you find out financial problems that happen with narcissists who want free money and your own bank account! Debt will be your big problem if you don't find out what a narcissist or narcissists are doing behind your back you need to change your life around! You need to be strong if this time of decision and choice!no more Contact is what it says ! You need to change your phone number too as well and tell your narcissist you are done and you need a break from dishonest people! You must decide on leaving this disfunctional relationship for good !
A super empath is irreplaceable, and they know that, 20 secondary sources of supply can’t make up for one super empath.
Nice :)
Yes my ex Narc can't replace me I don't care how much he tries Why ? Because I m a super empathetic beautiful person.He can't top me. Narc ty for making me stronger
Correct
@@zoesmith2857 Beautifully said Zoe! Love that!
🗣🗣🗣
I discarded the covert narc husband 3 weeks ago after 20 years. I planned my exit, gave him no closure, and took my power back!! Never give up hope! You have to love yourself enough to leave!!! You can't change them or fix them they are damaged goods. Its all about YOUR happiness and the happiness of YOUR kids, these individuals don't care or love you never did let that sink in and accept that survivors. The longer you stay the worse things become. I thank God everyday that I am free!!!
@@Anna-eu8px Great! Go for it!! Don't. tell. him. anything. Operate in stealth mode outsmart the narcissist. Move fear out of the equation. Consult a family lawyer who specializes in domestic violence because that's what it is, violence and abuse against you. They can tell you how to appropriately handle the situation since you have assets together.
@@Anna-eu8px Smear campaigns are a given with toxic individuals making you look crazy while they play the victim. Mine blames me for breaking up the family and I could care less lol. Hopefully your adult kids will be supportive and support your decision to leave, if not...oh well, its your life to live! Make sure you have support from a friend or family member who can encourage you along the way. Arm yourself with knowledge and you will know how to break him top exec and all. He is not God. Hope this helps...bless you!
I left my covert Narc husband 3 months ago after 23 years together 18 married. I had no choice but to jump from the toxic roller coaster ride. I'm filing for divorce very soon. I think you and I have suffered long enough. I couldn't allow him to suck not another drop of energy from my soul. Just like you said I'm free! I feel so much better and am looking forward to the future. I'm a survivor. Thank You Jesus!! Good luck to you.
@@Qd322 Wonderful! Yes, thank you Jesus! Good luck to you as well.
Blessings to you Angie 🤗🤗🤗 ..
So proud of you 👏🏾
When you discard a narcissist don't expect narcissist will go sad or suicidal. They lack courage and bravery they never do that..instead they will quickly find someone else who can fulfill their needs. Coward narcissists
Yup they don't have the stones to even attempt suicide. It's all for show and effect. I tried to commit suicide while I was with the narc. I'm much better now and free of him and his constant drama, agony and the betrayal was so much.
@@resilience_onward don't give them the satisfaction of seeing u hurt. Whatever happen to you they just don't care, these are soulless peoples. They don't deserve u. Be happy. May God be with you 🤞🍀🌹✨
And when they can't find anyone?
@@dhrubajyoti14 I swear this girl I’m in a relationship has no soul..no remorse…cannot cry..I’ve ever seen her she’d a tear.but boy I sure have..she’s destroyed my self esteem..and my soul..I’ve absolutely treated her like royalty..but she will ghost me and be out with other men…until she decides it’s my turn again
Definitely grown children 😜😛 really sad devils
The demon in them hates you but needs you
So true
Wew that statement is so powerful
It hates them too. Pray and forgive them,moveon.
Spot on.
Absolute fact👌
I dumped him after 36 years and never spoke to the Monster again. 4 years now!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!🍾🎉 🍾🎉🍾
I would like to know how. You did,??????? Please tell how you went about it? Please help! Known him for..38.years. still here. Want to leave 😫
It's interesting the term monster that you use, I was married to my ex wife for 37 years and I to used that term as well to describe her. They are monsters aren't they.
I dealt with all this for close to a month. I can't imagine it going on any longer. Regardless, glad you're free now
Yay!❤️💜❤️💜😍🧡💖❤️💜💖🧡👏🙌🙌🙌🙌
I am 76, and a year ago I had to end the relationship with my sister, my only sibling, and her family because of a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and high drama. I can imagine that behind the scenes she will be playing the victim and slandering me at every opportunity. Terrible situation, but I'll have a more peaceful, honest, and generally more pleasant life without her.
I'm 35 and in similar situation. I've been the target of narc abuse from my Covert narc older sisters for years...it's crazy how we can go years not even knowing what what we were experiencing, but with research, coming to the understanding and healing, the feeling of empowerment is awesome. Best wishes to you Sir!
I had to do the same with mother and brother. It’s for the best.
So true true words I hear coming from you. It's sad we gotta do this for ourselves but sanity is important to have so chop chop they will go.
I commend you for your courage. Bravo
It's amazing the punishment we empaths put ourselves through for these people, I'm sorry that you, all of us empaths go through but I'm happy that your free from this evil sickness of the Narc don't look back love and respect go two ways.
I discarded a narcissist 10 months ago. I haven't heard from him since. My life is so much better without him.
Same here dear good 👍 u got it ❤
Absolutely! The narcissist woman told me she has suffered without me! She and her flying monkeys were all defeated and I've moved on with my life! No more narcissist forever!
Never trust these Narcissists they are plain evil
Yes. I believe some narcissists do suffer when the irreplaceable supply leaves them. My ex narc stayed close to me, attentively called me 3 times a day, without fail yet still managed to ruin the relationship by getting another supply and although he hid her, my intuition served me well that he was stunned that I knew about her
I always have to cut off narcissists, because they never want to leave me. I'd rather be discarded by them, so I don't have to deal with a stalker for life, but I refuse to keep toxic people in my life who want to manipulate, devalue, and control me.
That’s funny bcuz that was my plan to get the narc to discard me so I didn’t have to speak to them again BUT they always just make threats of leaving but never keep their ass gone lol
Are we/I whimping out by my "running away". What about the conflict that makes them so intimidated that you achieve the dominant outcome of mutually agreed upon separation. Don't tell me I can't do it. My narcissistic father has a rabid hold on the whole family and I will achieve separation if it kills one of us. It is the only way. But my victory will be in the spiritual realm and therefore there is no need to call the police.
@@90charim Please see my comment above because it was really in response to you, and not so much Jack.
The sad thing is that you have to do it after so many semi-discards from them. Their "discards" are FAKE, and they always want you or I around for supply. Only you or I could do THE TRUE discard. (Good for you for doing what I used to fail to do too often before I finally did it myself!)
Currently dealing with this mindset and situation I need y’all to pray 🙏🏾 for me
Right, narcs want to be the first to discard. It's a power move for them, and they don't want their ego bruised
So true. My son was and had been abusing me hard out. I called him out and told him to pack up n piss off. Tears sorry hugs love you followed instantly. Next came even more hard core gaslighting triangulating and in came his flying monkeys. The discard has been my win
I live in peace now! 🙏🏼
Me too hallelujah
Thank you, I discarded my ex, I think he may have been expecting it, but I have done it in the past and ended up talking to him again, so I think he thought that would happen when I run into him a few days later. I ignored him turned my back on him and walked away. He pretended he was having a good time with friends but I know it was a show for me. I really don’t care what happens to him now, when I’m done, I’m done.
Yes i took my power back..an im so much happier now..ty so much..🌹
Absolutely
How do I know if I'm 1 cause I need to talk can u help me please
Amen hallelujah
They keep hoovering and stalking you when you discard them. One thing I’ve been noticing is that there’s a lot of negativity online about being the person that leaves. There’s this mindset that the person that leaves is the bad guy and the person that gets left is the victim. I feel like most of the time it’s the victim that’s leave. They’re one that has something to run away from.
Ya crazy as f
if you are a true empath (we all have some degree) let your intuition guide you, more often than not its right when it comes to a narcissist 😊 remember you were and are emotionally stronger than the narcissist ever will be. It took time to break you down so it will take time to rebuild your true authentic self but the journey is truly life changing and worth ever second.
stay strong❤
🕊❤️🙏
agreed 1000%💯🎯
50 days no contact today and I’ve only received 2 no caller ID numbers and an attempt to get information out of me through his friend. I was a primary source of Grade A supply so I highly doubt he’s done yet- just waiting on a good time to worm his way back in- thankfully Ive come to my senses and shut n locked/ blocked that door forever- and thrown away the key- there’s no way back for him!
I have had 3 narcs in my life over the years, including my ex husband. Luckily, I'd gotten smart enough to not waste as much time in the 2 relationships as I did in my marriage.
These relationships never work out. You end up wasting so much of your time in the hopes that one day things will go back to how they were in the beginning. Time is your greatest commodity. You can never get the time that a narcissist takes from u back. Please put yourself and your sanity first.
🕊❤️🙏
I can definitely relate! I left my ex (taking our children and the Family pet) and only gave him 1 day notice! And that was only because I could no longer hide the moving boxes. That was 2 years ago and we have SUPER low contact because he barely sees the kids. Yet he is doing ALL that he can to stall our divorce proceedings 🙄 He is feeling that narc injury til this day!! Thank God for your channel and others like it! ❤🙏🏽
Clarice’s channel and Little Shaman Healing are among the best channels for straight-from-the-shoulder types of information. I’ve benefited from them the most, with others like Surviving Narcissism running close behind.
@@Anna-eu8px Thank you Love! Once my kids began to see how he truly is and were behind my decision to leave that was all she wrote! Blessings!! ❤
@@finallyfree3847
Congratulations!
Your children will benefit from their mother’s wisdom and strength.
Blessings!
@@nryane Thank you so much!! It took me 20+ years to wake up but this peace is so worth it!! ❤
@@finallyfree3847
It’s totally PEACEFUL, isn’t it?
You may have to help your children to have trauma therapy, if any were sensitive to their biological father’s behaviors.
My father’s behaviors impacted my life so badly, that I was in therapy for decades. EMDR/CBT trauma therapies before and after my second “failed” relationship (partner an undiagnosed NPD), helped me to heal. THAT relationship was a total of almost 30 years. I’m thankful that we didn’t have children.
Again, congratulations! You did it!!!
I discarded my ex Narcissist and he's been struggling every since,4 years.....5 women ..currently living in a rooming house with single men,he's bitter and still arrogant 😏😏😒😑
THANK THE HEAVENS THE TRASH TOOK IT SELF OUT..
All bad fruit will eventually fall from their tree.
Those single men had better watch out!! Lol.
My wife was trying to discard me, she was trying to leave me, but when I figured out that she was a narcissist I flipped it around and left her. Even though that is what she wanted that's not the way she wanted it to happen. She went nuts, one minute she was bashing me and slandering me and the next minute she was begging me to let's work it out. Most of the terrible things she said to me or about me she acts like she never said them or like she doesn't remember saying them. Will the crazy ever end?
ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!
they love you and hate you at the same time its crazy , blowing hot and cold nasty ?
Lol one ring to rule them all that was funny
@@wendyjones5853 lol
I'm laughing as you just described the exact same thing that I did... and she did! Lol
Theses responses continue in cycles
After three years divorced, it's exhausting! I have 3 children with the diabolical narc. Constant confusion!
I feel for you. I’ve just recently got away from my covert narc but have 2 small kids with him and one on the way. I know that I will never have a normal life again but I’d rather not be around him 24/7 and live that kind of unnormal life (but without him near me). I’m fully aware that it will be difficult to deal with him still over the kids 😔
@@r_EVOL_utionRENEGADE Then you know exactly where I am with this clown... And their "parenting": insidious. Be careful and strategic.
@@cuethelights8195 I am and will be. Take care!
I discarded him 7 months ago.. ive experienced many hoover attempts after 4 months to now so I had to call the police to warn him off and now moving house. Its the only way to heal and protect yourself x
I was stalked and harassed for 2 solid years….. it’s a Horrible place to be! I was hacked, stalked, devalued to all possible. Beware these types! Dangerous indeed! ⚠️☢️
@@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723 thank you for sharing.. yes I was hacked too and he lives around the corner from me so feel I have to move now to be able to heal going forward. It's horrible how they invade your life x
@@daniellegotheridge6406 I think you are wise to move. I tried grey rocking and he and those aligned with him harassed me constantly. Until, I learned how to absolutely defend myself.
@@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723 sorry you've been through that x
It’s so true when Clarice said their describing a relationship that didn’t exist!!! And the sad truth is, they want us, the real victim🙋🏽♀️in the situation to validate their lying delusional version! They truly want it to be an “us” that was toxic or that ruined the relationship. It’s so deep when you think of the abuse, and the level of love, acceptance and forgiveness we gave over and over and over, only to have them say in one of their cut down fests, you ruined the whole relationship. It was nothing short than devastating when the narcissist would loudly display their lack of empathy and their inability to love while they shout from the mountains how horrible you were and continue the abuse while yet claiming to be the victim! Those are truly the things that would hurt me the most even when it was over. And I left the narcissist every time they never left once, but there was a always a heavy price to pay for that as well. You truly have a quick choice to make in order to have some sanity because the experience is enough to give you a nervous breakdown. I take narcissist abuse more serious than anything it can truly alter a good hearted person. Thank God when we can come out and be better than what we were with them. Only by Gods grace!🙏🏾
-Truly humbled.
Isn't it hard to wrap your mind around how they think and behave?
@@amygee4028
Yes Amy I will never get use to it ever! But if another one run up I will be done first go round ain’t no more yrs months or more weeks after the exposure
agreed 100%!💯💯🎯
I discarded a narcissist. Toughest thing I ever did. Moved 5 states away. He only hovered twice begging for me to return. But there was no way. He sent all the flying monkeys in. This all happened 25 years ago and back then I had no idea of what a narcissist was. It’s amazing how therapeutic you have been for me. Thank you so very much for your work!
You are very welcome. Many thanks💓
I discarded mine first, only to accept an hoover 2 days later, which lasted that day and then she discarded me, Power on her side. very clever, sly people.
After leaving him with no contact he tried his best to say how sorry he was couldn't we work it out all that. Then got mad and admitted he had been cheating on me for the last year! I was so grateful that I had left him before he could discard me. Thank u God!
I can relate when you said that they play the victim after you break up with them. That’s exactly what my ex fiancé is doing. He makes it seem that I did all the hurting in the relationship when in fact his Narcissistic bullshit is what pushed me away!!
If he doesn't come correct, there's no need of him
My filoshy 👌🤷
I have had similar experience with this Clarice. I discarded my narcissist very recently and they are masters of playing the victim. I just couldn’t stand her playing the victim anymore so I had to get away. Thank you again for this video my hon.
They rage. Then like years later you get a random message from them. I called it a boomerang, but the term i learned is hoovering. Doesn't matter whether it was an ex lover, old friend or a colleague. They all do that
I had already discarded my neighbour narc when it stopped me 8 months later to invite me to her birthday party (she was throwing it for herself in her 50's - her 3rd in two years). I just walked past as she continued talking and went on my merry way. Three people actually turned up for this one but i did not. She knew I was home. The next day she took to slamming and banging things around and even launched into a tirade from the other side of the wall we share. I did not respond. She then claimed I was attacking her and called police who dismissed her manipulations. That was two years ago. She's caused no end of drama and smear campaigns against me which has consistently received no response. I know it will never end. The damage, suspicion and corrosion she's caused is extraordinary. My indifferent demeanor hides a desire for revenge.
Finally got the courage to discard my ex. She always commented how bad I was however would be the one to reach out.
Takes courage to finally let go. Well done
Being an empath is very attractive to the people with NPD. I was always a victim from family members, admirers and closefriends!
Thank you very much, Clarice, and a happy Sunday to you ! it's too late for me to discard in the traditional way the narcissist as she has already run off to a new life for herself but as a result of repeated verbal abuse and emotional abuse and other forms of intolerable behavior that continue since the narcissist left I am going to get an order of protection from her....it's my way of saying "NO MORE" abuse will be tolerated! It has taken me 3 1/2 years to get to this point...🙌I finally feel relieved! 🙌
I had to do the same thing and followed through on his DV charge which I was fully prepared to testify in trial but he took a deal but was still a felony conviction....he went to prison which was a perfect ending to that toxic relationship
After 35 years of constant gaslighting and shameless manipulation, I have finally found a way to stop the “conversation” with my utterly toxic brother. The last time we met, three weeks ago, I only said one word to him (“hi”) and that was it. His own son no longer wants to speak to him either… so during an in comfortable family gathering, he played the victim while showering our parents he once despised with constant love and attention. He then left without saying a word, probably fuming at us. He is "lucky" to have our parents as the typical enabling flying monkeys - I’m not angry anymore, anger being a negative and time-consuming emotion, but my main relief comes from the fact I live 6000km from him and his despicable manipulations. I am feeling I have succeeded in freeing myself as I no longer care about him. FINALLY.
I certainly don’t hate him but I don’t love him either.
Love Jesus Amen.
They will try anything they can in their dirty little play book, they can dish it out but they can't take it, once you come to the conclusion in life that you can't put up with them anymore and throw in the towel your done ✅ and they can't take it, it's a big time narcissist injury 🤕 you smashed their pathetic ego, but you did this for yourself 👍 up Clarice and survivors and thrivers 🙏 🦋 close all the doors and lock 🔐 them up and don't let them stay rent free in your mind.
😂😂😂😂😂🙏☺️
Yes, Yes and Yes !!!
Can't let them stay in your head, they gotta go !!!
It ain't easy but it's for the best !!!
Remember y’all narcissist will take your good energy and run to the new supply just to make themselves feel good but in reality they are the devil
You're right! They always want to get you back to revenge. When he found out he got a serious health condition. At first, he wants to play as a victim, wants to leave this world to make me feel bad but now he really cares about his health, wants to live. I no longer believe in what he said!
I discarded a narcissist after 20 year marriage and every aspect of my life has been so much better! I armed myself with knowledge, went through tremendous growth and healing. He still can't comprehend what has happened and attempts to Hoover. I am strong, have absolutely no interest or empathy for someone who had no empathy for me.
Hugs 4 all
Kid you NOT; she asked me to come back politely twice. Then begged twice. Then...
asked my family and friends. Her life essential fell apart...
Me lay low and mined my owned business
4 years ago I walked away from the narc, and since then the ill-mouthing and destruction of my reputation started.
All I did was not wanting to date anybody and she took it very personal. Been harassing me twice for that after two attempts for a relationship with me for a total of 2.5 years
I had to discard narcissist, with help of authorities, because she returned before. The Judge surprised me 6 month Order of Protection and after 10 week review, the Judge added another year. I am healing without anger, "poor me" or victimization. Fortunately, I don't have this disorder. I hope she finds the help she needs. My life feels so abundant. No longer being drained. Continue on your mission, for you are helping so many.
I had no clue of NPD these videos weren't around back in the day. Every word in this video is on point; (diffinitely my experience). after I discarded him; he cried out loud, begged, pleaded, and so much more, than came the stalking & hoover this went on for months. He was unsuccessful I stayed strong never went back to that toxic ass hole. That narc ended up on drugs. Thank goodness for your videos they're educational and informative. 🙏🏾
Kids should be taught in HGH school about narcissistic how to spit them how to deal with them etc. I’m in my 50’s and just realized exactly who in my life was a narcissistic and how I wasted so much time and energy on them.
Queen...best on narcissism on RUclips ❣️
Awww, thanks. You are very kind.
That's exactly what she said when I told her to leave me alone, she said " I'm shocked . She also said " I love you and your kid's " . Nope I still wont befriend her again.
I quietly up and left my Narcissist and she did exactly that.
After been gaslighted, accused, and manipulated for a month, I decided to discard my narcissistic boss and go no contact. I broke my working contract and leave my job. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't stand her behavior any longer. She drove me crazy and almost got me to believe if I have OCD/OCPD.
It's been 10 days now. As expected, she bad mouthing me to everyone in the office. One of my close friend told me that.
I love it! After so many discards by both parties, they FINALLY they have no room for margin for error from me. I've been discarded too FOR STANDING UP FOR MYSELF. Zero shame from me,, either way. More like, let's just END THIS once and for all and let you get the "win" (if their childish ego is STILL that damaged!)
Sooo true, that's the way narc does! 😡
Thank you Clarice 🌠🙏👊
A few months ago , I discarded my narcissist ex but kept contact. A few weeks later, I went no contact and changed my workplace. Since then, he has always been trying to contact me in different ways, but I ignore him. Most recently, he came to my city and tried to pursue me to meet him, and I turned him down. One thing is certain. He is never going to give up, and thanks to your lessons, I am never breaking the no contact.
We discarded our narcissistic roommates. This video is so accurate. They slandered us (especially me) to EVERYONE they could. One of them was my former foster "sister" of barely 2 years back in high school. She made sure ALL of her biological siblings, friends, and contacts were informed how "evil" and "toxic" WE were for telling her no. Although she left that part out. She AND her bio-sister (our other roommate) were both angry and upset with us for not allowing our children to be around them any longer after multiple violent outbursts from BOTH that damaged our rental property.
We were even contacted by outside sources from the issues in order to see how we felt or even try to shame us for standing our ground and keeping up the thick wall that won't let them back into our lives.
I dumped him and blocked him and walked away. Never been happier 😊. Always remember narcissist don't like shame so when you discard them it's shame
The discard was taking too long so I left 🤣 he always claimed that I was annoying when we were together but kept emailing (was blocked on everything - phone, social media, etc) and then calling from random numbers. Dude, these new numbers are blocked too. Go AWAY
We had many times where I would break away as it seemed our values weren't aligned but he would always Hoover me back. I wish I had known at the time that is what it was but I always wanted to hear that stuff I believed he was capable of and the love was worth it and real. In the end, I had to wait until he discarded me by actually breaking up with me, which he said he did because he thought I would do it to him, which makes no sense now that I think of it, because I had tried that several times before and they weren't stunts. The only change in me was saying no a lot more to their demands and not engaging in the dramas like I used to which meant he had to escalate the dramas. If you want to break free, just keep saying no!
What this lady says here is spot on..it’s like she’s reading my mind
I discarded my ex over a year ago, unexpectedly, it hurt him bad. After the indirect rage and insults etc he turned into the victim! I blocked him everywhere and never allowed him near me. I am at absolute peace since being away from him, feel I can live my life.
I became aware that he recently tried contacting me via my 'words with friends' mobile app lol! I don't feel safe playing it now with random people and have had to change settings! Lol. Seemed like he wanted to hold onto 'something' and 'anything'. I can't stand him or his narcissistic traits, I find them disgusting.
This is true my ex … my mother and father gone….my sister was as bad
Now a friend that ‘wasn’t a friend
Cynthia ,as the saying goes " if the devil cannot find you he will send a narcissist " ? Now ,there must be a good purpose to your life ,as you , like me have been surrounded in a nest of Narcs . sadly ,so must be something good entering your life good luck Cynthia !
It's not you, it's THEM! I used to sorta buy into that "if there's one finger pointing out, there's THREE pointing back at you" saying. Until it happened to me a few years ago! No longer afraid to call out multiple narcs at once virtually. I do it politely, but they still RAGE OUT or get caught in a draw dropping lie or laugh and all but dare me to take some more. (Good!! I confirmed a previously unsuspected enemy for being JUST THAT instead.)
Like yourself it's a plural thing, definitely not singular. Scary to say because I could be called 'paranoid." But as Nirvana sang in 'Territorial Pissings', "Just because you're paranoid. Does not mean THEY'RE NOT after you...GOT TO GET AWAY. GET AWAY. GET AWAY!"
Same here…. I dumped x of 36 years, mother sister old friend of 50 years and two sons. I’m alone and loving me.
Greatly explained truth Clarice 🙌🏽👏🏽💯
Blissful Sunday...As Well As Many Many Blessings In General! Thank You!🌻
So fed up and sick and tired. Lord give me the strength to get through these demons.
What are you talking about. A pretty young woman like you has 1000’s of options and still you choose the wrong guys for the wrong reasons. Just adjust your mentality a bit and you’ll be safe for the rest of your life.
It's a damn shame that these ppl exist such a waste of life smh
Well done Finally Free, what a wonderful mother you are.
It is a problem if you take a stranger as your mother. It means that you have no strong boundaries and weak reality perception.
Happy happy Sunday!!
Happy Sunday 🕊🌿
I have just found out about this dis order and it has affected my marriage before we even got married to each other 21 yrs ago.
I'm just learning about this and how to survive from it, move on from it and why this happens so thanks to these videos and others that shed light on situation being married to a narcissis woman who had me snow balled. I say a big THANK YOU to all for getting this out providing the facts an information on this topic.
Idk if you are still married to her but I just want to let you know that no one has the right to tell you to do this or that. Many commentors or contentors on YT and outside family or friends are very eager to say that you should leave a narcissist. But they dont have the right to intervere in your marriage and tell you what you need to do with your wife.
Being married with a narcissist can be extremely stressfull. But being divorced can sometimes be worse.
I divorced my ex wife this year and it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to do. I blamed myself for many things but I’ve come to accept that she was going to do what she wanted no matter what. My consolation is that she exposed herself as a hypocrite, lost everything and will never find anyone as good as I am again.
As a comment reader I am genuinly curious how you are doing now one year later. Do you still think it was a good choice or do you feel you’re doing worse now? And don’t worry, I am not a flying monkey 😂😅
Everything I said is still true. Sometimes I miss her but that was her false self. I don’t miss who she really was.
I discarded my narc and never looked back... but payed a heavy price. what rage was unleashed on me I can't even begin to tell the horror story...suffice to say....30yrs later he is still stalking me ! Why ?
Great information! Thank you❤
Your videos are the best on the subject!
Thanks💖
Just quit social media. Change your phone number. Know that no matter what you do you will have a smaller circle of friends and family. Best to be in control of that, you decide who gets the new number. And if social media is too important then quit it and go back 3 to 6 months later with a new ID.
Peace!
Thank you for taking the time to explain all these things. I am the scapegoat of a malign narcissist paternal figure and, damn, I feel everything you say in the video. Got out of 18 yrs of abuse with c-ptsd and, obviously, a few narcissistic traits myself. I think a big step in personal healing, recovery, growth, is to realize the abuser is not going to change his behavior like he changes between manipulation techniques ( bittersweet joke, but humor helps deal with s**t in life, right?); then, there is the moment when people actually leave from under their influence, which some do earlier, some later, some never. If anyone reading finds themselves still in a relationship with an abuser AND still finds excuses for them, please, I beg of you, break up from wishful thinking and see what people do to you, willingly, consciously, repeatedly.
Then, I believe should start the healing process, both trough introspection and pushing one's limits in resigning reality as it was, as it is, all things that hurt and why they hurt, and with professional help, from someone specialized in traumas.
People need to learn to learn from their experiences and rejoice their memories, for they hold the key of our wisdom. Why? Because they tell us the root of the problems, of the hurt; once you know the root of an illness, you have a better understanding on how to deal with it. And where to learn from better, than your own experience?
Face fears, unpleasant traits, learn from mistakes and regrets. Make difference between feeling and thinking.
And yes, I know, those who feel the need to preach about what others should do just show a big sign of depression ( never said I'm not clinically depressed ); but I ain't preaching what I haven't done myself.
Take care everyone!
I neither Love or hate the idea that they will laugh and smirk thinking they got rid of you. But in reality you just got so tired of the pain and trying to be their friend. Trying to make them feel safe. Happy. I wish they were capable of accepting kindness 💖
Thanks for sharing ❤⚘
This was very helpful!!! I learned many things I didn't know before!!! ❤
Your videos are really waking me up, educating me and making me a bit afraid at the same time. I'm beginning to believe that I am in a relationship with a Narcissist. I have been in the relationship for 2 years, I remember the love bombing stopped after 6 months then, I would get devaluation in the form of staying away and ignoring me. And now I get the feeling in the past 3 months a new source of supply has been acquired.
Proceed with caution on see this playlist if you decide to leave ruclips.net/video/h2WnwCAoanI/видео.html
When I finally recognized the futility of hoping for improvement or even a tolerable status quo with my ex-fiancé, I wrote her a Dear Jane letter. She basically never spoke to me again and it was clear at the only time I encountered her at the public library that she was very angry and rude.
I spoke kindly to her until the very end.
I blocked him on everything! I feel happy and free
I discarded my ex narc first n now he is completely miserable without me and without my attention.
I know a narc who was dramatically discarded by her husband. Yes she went into full victim mode....although she admitted she'd scammed him out of money and was having affairs. Really?
Thats cold.
But you can't say that now because some BRAINWASHED gynocentric and/or feminist "womyn" think that men are ALLEGEDLY the majority of narcissists.
Full crocodile tears mode? Nowadays expected from a full-blown NARC or a situational narc because accountability is KRYTONITE to most woman PERIOD
At 71 yrs. old I went no contact 6 mo. ago. The "golden child" older sister took over before mom died. She's been on a rabid smear campaign against me. Blessings to all here!
I love ur voice 😬
When I was finally able to get away from my boyfriend of 6 years he told everyone terrible lies about me, even to my friends who knew better. Yet, here it is 4 years later and still cannot get rid of him. Last month I moved out of town, an hour away. If I did all the things he said I did, one would think that he would be happy to be rid of ME. He is still playing his games. Now I am thinking of moving to another state.
I discarded a narc friend that was in my life for over 20 years. He hoovered me about 5 months later and invited me to the cinema. I shot him an email indicating that it was truly over. It's sad yet empowering to do the discarding. There is something masochistic about the action. In my humble opinion, there are too many unknown unknowns between narc-empath connections. It is a very intense pain because you saw through them; I felt like I learned his language and dissed him in his own 'secret tomgue.'. It's a very draining, pulverizing experience. Defeating them is like beating up 5 bullies in one time but leaves one with a broken hand. A severely broken hand.
I love how you say...
They will cry their EVIL eyes out. 😅
💖😅
I discarded and was immediately discarded right back. He posted some love songs on social media with my name but he has not tried to come back and I don’t believe he will.
Yes that's my hope too. I had my ah ha moment and now they can act like they discarded me and I'm fine with that.
I heard to discard him. He had too Much drama,,. He would come home tell me to get a gun to shoot him,,.He even again told me another time that I was poisoning him slowly in his food. I had enough..I decided to get our and Live in peace 🙏🙏🙏
He is.still following me. Making himself a victim
Thank You 🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏💞💕💕
I discarded my narcissist and he made multiple Facebook lives bashing me went on a total smear campaign
My wife and I are undergoing divorce. I have been trying to implement bo contact. The children dread being with her. She wants custody of the children but the children do not want as they have been subjected to manipulation and control. We still stay in the same house but I have been behaving like she does not exist and it is driving her insane. My concern is that she now threatens me through SMS saying she is planning to relocate to another province (300 kilometers away). She knows that the kids and I are close. Our divorce is not finalised. She finds creative ways of getting us to talk behind the lawyers' back and I have been resisting because I know her tricks. I do not know how to approach the relocation story because I never responded to it. The kids do not wamt to relocate.
Kudos to you for keeping your head straight while being forced to juggle 5 pins of flames at once. The Westfarms Mall is unfortunately that men are GUILTY till proven innocent. Stay safe like you are. Stay strong! Let that WITCH mealt into a puddle of piss inevitabley. She'll do the self-damage herself
Thank you💕🇺🇲
Oh my God this was meant for me, because I recently got out of a 24-year relationship with the ex narcissist 🤡had no idea he was I saw the change in him2021 and that's when I got out of the relationship I discarded him right away ,🎯I downplayed it where it wouldn't be no problem, he bought it but tried to get back in ,🏃♀️and I told him it would be best for me to move on ,he knew something but he didn't know because he said whoever told you anything about me! it's not true😬 I never said anyting😬🤷♀️🤣💪 run
You did it the smart way!
Good for you. Run fast, far and don't EVER look back.
Do you have a video about narcs starting fights before bdays or standing you up on special days etc? Mines started a fight day before bday, only got a txt so never did what he claimed he had planned to only then the day after bday to play victim !
They will mess up.every holiday, birthdays, any important event. They love it when they can do this.
Narcissists do that to upset you and also so that they don't have to do anything nice for you. It is a very strategic, selfish tactic.I think it would be included in this video ruclips.net/video/aNLMyKi5PuQ/видео.html It is a passive aggressive behaviour of the Narcissist to sabotage and disappoint.
@@ExposingtheNarcissist it’s weird bcuz he has done many things for me before but it’s a control thing I guess only do for you and kind of it serves them! Now he won’t stop calling yet the one day that supposed to be my bday he abandoned me!
@@ExposingtheNarcissist for me that was too abusive and outta all things this one was a BIG deal! He is the one who future faked and acted like he had things set up…I didn’t ask for anything materialistic but a sunflower! So you mean to tell me Im not worth $6 or even $1 for a card!? Naaahhh That was just evil if you ask me straight up cruel!
and I know it was revengeful and his way of paying me back for something ive done and that’s even more sick!
I escaped my ex- covert narc of 3 1/2 years. (Live together 1 year) few months ago. First couple years I probably would see her 2 days 1 night a week. I worked a lot with a busy on-call schedule. I look back and think “I was a side supply”! I noticed some things that where odd. She has said the word “You” more then I have ever heard somebody say any word. Couldn’t take a joke and noticed at her family holiday dinner she would always one up her sister story. I down play everything by saying “she just has a lot of pride.” Or “she just very competitive.” What little I knew. I’m a truth teller and I’d make fun of her for these actions. But would always have to convince her I’m joking. Then I moved in…. First couple months ok. Then mask was starting to slip. Couple of bad things happen to me almost back to back and I noticed a joy in her when I told her. Not a in your face joy but I saw it. I just think can’t be right. That’s some sick shit. Another negative thing happened and I saw joy again. I googled what I had experienced. Quickly as I pushed SEARCH narcissism was everywhere. My mind was blown. I call her out and yes I saw the videos on why you shouldn’t. I had to let her know and I called her out on so many lies. We all know she doesn’t listen and calls me a narcissist. I said f”*€’ it and go Grey Rock. Until I can orchestrate my escape which took 5 months. It was a nightmare and I maybe slipped into a few traps but pretty much played the game. I did end up in the garage on air mattress last couple months but still played a funnier grey rock character. She lied I’d tell her calmly your lying. I’d open door to bedroom kinda fast to laugh at her panicking knowing she in her phone chatting with whoever. Deep down this shit was hurting me. Person I loved was not even real. WTF! It was so lonely those last few months. I was getting all of the covert narcs specialties. Her daughter and, mom live there too and could tell they had been givin orders to triangulate. She’d mix the good days of course. I’d be freezing in garage and she’d be like come to bed as if she concerned and confused why I’m out there. I’d say oh ok. Don’t judge I was freezing. I finally move out but had to leave a couple my fish tanks at her pad. She would act like she changed. I’d spend the night here and there. Then she starts texting me all sorts of YOU blame. Then she says it’s over and I’m like ok I thought that’s why I moved out. Next weekend comes and I get FB notification which I never do. It’s her on a weekend getaway with new supply. She got me good
I think even if this person is in your social circle, you can create a zero contact space in which you do not greet, acknowledge or engage in conversation when you are in a group social setting. He will have plenty of supply and if he tries to antagonize you in front of everyone, do not speak or react, just ignore him.
I like the theory on the Primary source of supply. I guess that would be like them losing a favourite person which has imprinted on them!
I broke up with him first and he BEGGEDDDD AND CRIEDDD to have me back, apologized a million times, told me i was right, told me he cant live without me, loves me, misses me etc. I took him back against knowing better. In the beginning he was being all sweet (love bombing again) and not much later he started the devaluing, started suddenly disappearing sometimes and in the end he ghosted me, discarded me, 2 days before I was going to fly to his country to see him.
That is what many Narcissists do if you discarded them first. They want back in so that they can be the ones to discard you
A narcissist needs himself! If you find out that someone or others in your narcissist 's life leave this unhealthy relationship as soon as possible! When you find out financial problems that happen with narcissists who want free money and your own bank account! Debt will be your big problem if you don't find out what a narcissist or narcissists are doing behind your back you need to change your life around! You need to be strong if this time of decision and choice!no more Contact is what it says ! You need to change your phone number too as well and tell your narcissist you are done and you need a break from dishonest people! You must decide on leaving this disfunctional relationship for good !
He hoovered then blocked ghosted “discarded me”. I think it thinks it got the last word even though I was the one to escape
Right on!