To the narcissist every time you call them out or stand up for yourself it's always "disrespect " to them. That does not stop me from calling out the lies and deception smh
Yes, you never get to stand up for yourself. You never get to defend your self. You don't even get to even the score because it is "all disrespect" and you are treated as if you are dangerous.
Covert Narcissists are worried about Being abandoned Losing respect Their flaws or weaknesses pointed out Being average Not being the centre of attention Being taken advantage of Being made fun of Not having enough control
You just described my ex to a T. I'm just now learning I was duped and was in an mentally abusive circus of a relationship. I'm so glad i woke up to this type of personality.
Yes. There are lots of employers and shareholders who behave like that towards those who are helping them get rich by doing back breaking and damaging of lungs work which is high risk too. Like the possibility of say loosing an arm while working in a factory. Think a woman or a man who is outstanding in productivity there while having expectional good health compared to others there? Think again. A lot of employers and shareholders in the Victorian era instead of being grateful to employees would have rather been gossiping about them after they lost yet another marriage partner or another child again so they wouldn't have to face their corruption like for example manufacturing a whole lot of things back then containing by using arsenic as one of the supplies to do so. Not to mention how much any young scientist man or woman back then would have been treated whenever calling for peace instead of going along with the flow anytime the crown thought going to war again was the best thing for the crown to do. Like for example during the Boer war in Africa.
The narc in my life for the past 33 years, still throws in my face an incident that happened 25 years ago! We were having a cookout with a group of friends and he accidentally started a grease fire on the front porch and when he went to get water to spray it myself and two of our guests, yelled for him not to use water on a grease fire. To this day when he is ranting about whatever, he will throw that incident on my face, accusing me of trying to humiliate him in front of our friends. Believe me, they never forget anything they have perceived as a narcissistic injury and then person who, in their mind, caused it. They never forget and never forgive.
It seems so silly. Mistakes are opportunities to learn but he was concerned about was what others think. Its a self esteem issue. He cant generate it on his own so he tries to borrow yours
Thank you so much for the work you are doing. These pathetic, delusional people try to avoid abandonment by people who find them detestable. They have already been abandoned! There is no one so blind as one who refuses to see.
I've had to go due to my awful mother and my father inlaw. It honestly hasn't worked for me. They just keep crossing our boundaries with zero fks given.
They sure do know how to dish it out! This explains why he always feels he has to partner with someone. I was wondering why he has always been so afraid to launch out on his own! Amazing though how many people support him.
So so true the ex narcissist I used to be married to was just like that was scared of Abandonment so he left me it was a blessing but every time we would be somewhere and he would see homeless people he would always say I never want to be like that and he has the look in his eyes like a little scared kid when he says it so true love your work💯👏🏾
As I listen to this again 6 months later, I realize how well my mother fits this description. I was sooo busy thinking I was to blame for everything that happened, that I did not notice these eccentricities/"exccentrocities" in her! I am able to really scrutinize her personality and how she treated me now, without being blinded by my need to unconditionally love her. I had no capacity to love that. But I sure tried. Thank you, Clarise. Your vision is clear and you pass that on to me. 🕶
Agree spot on. Yes, everyone has a bad head in life but can you imagine living with bad head day everyday. Narcissistic people are running from their self every day. The problem is you can’t run from yourself 😂
It must be hard being with them but they made their choice .Many people were abused as children but didnt allow that to turn them to blood sucking people
The things we fear comes among us smh I can only pray God search there hearts & free them from that tormenting spirit to awaken kindness as it’s given to them. Let us Pray 🙏🏾
I have just realised I am a overt narcissist. And I have attracted a covert narcissist. Bless you Clarice. I am praying for us both to find our humility. My soul depends on it.
Wow, well at least you admit it. If your really want to be set Free from Narcissism, pls check out Daniel Adams on RUclips You may be the first Narcissistd to get delievered from generational demons curses from the family bloodline . Check it out! I will be deleting my comment . So I Hope you See itb
So many truths, but I'm reminded of all the times id have to be aware of the tone I said anything in, cos the wrong tone meant id have to explain what the problem was when there wasn't a problem. Impossible and exhausting.
We find it so hard to even fathom how someone could live this way. If only there were some kind of cure, because they would be less damage left by these toxic contemptuous dangerous people. Thank you for your educational videos, Clarice. ❤❤❤
He got freaked out at the grocery store because I wandered off to look at the sale item aisle. I said why didn't you just text me? We both have cell phones? I was maybe 20 feet away from him. Swing and a miss? That didn't land for him but it was notable to me. We are grown up adults that are calm and loving to each other, right? So glad he's gone.
I strongly disagree. The narcissist is not scared of abandonment, rather they are scared of being irrelevant. They feel nothing as far as emotional abandonment but rather anger they weren’t able to abandon you first. I believe it’s a massive misconception among many in the trauma profession. Narcissists are empty shells. They feel nothing other than hidden insecurities.
No, they fear abandonment. It's not the abandonment of the person, it's the abandonment of the situation. You might be paying for everything or providing a home, car, etc. You're right, they don't care ANYTHING about the person, they care about what they will lose until they are the one that is ready to abandon you.
I am dealing with my ex who left me recently after 30 years of putting up with their nonsense. I started the grey rocking and could see that infuriate them, then indulged in a bit of calling them out and setting some boundaries. They got enraged by me calling them out and totally ignored any boundaries I set . I even posted something on social media which critisised them and was then threatened with legal action accusing me of slander and threatened to enact an apprehended violence order against me, so I calmly made notes on some of their nonsense and threats and sent them to my lawyer for advice. I'm a bit over dealing with their rage for a bit, and it was nice to get a chance to call them out as it gave my confidence a boost but I need a break so reverting back to grey rocking. Cant go totally no contact just yet as I am trying to negotiate a settlement with regards assets and have them feeling like their winning when I know I am happy to leave under what we currently have agreed to. I know they have squirreled away some money from me over time and I have subtly let them know I know. Have an old friend who is my lawyer and he will ensure that he uncovers any financial dishonesty on their part, so will be an interesting couple of monthd.
I’m right there with you. 29 years in. Coming up on mediation in less than a month. Not sure what to expect but my lawyers strategy is on point. Hope we can end it after mediation. Can’t wait to be me, free and on my journey far away from it.
8 Things that the covert narcissist worries about: 1. Being abandoned 2. Losing respect 3. Having their flaws or weaknesses exposed 4. Being seen as average 5. Being outshone 6. Being taken advantage of 7. Being embarassed or made fun of 8. Not having control over others. Basically these ppl are scared, hurt little children who have learned that the world cannot be trusted to be seen as safe, and they need spiritual healing, becoz that is where their wound is and Jrhovah God is the only source of that healing 😮💨
@@stevensteven3417 BINGO!!!!! That first wonderful person you meet is the damaged and spiritually-stunted child inside, looking for new parental hope in the form of you. But the person you begin to deal with more and more thereafter, is the demon they made a deal with in order to try to feel powerful in this scary, confusing world. Coz trying to pretend you are a capable fully-formed adult is impossible as a small child without help in this world - i know coz i used to try until i found just being honest was even MORE empowering. All we can do is love them, be patient, be kind no matter how mean they feel they need to be to us, and treat them tenderly like the scared little children they are, but with the respect our brothers and sisters deserve - don't take their crap, just don't hate them like everyone else they encounter does, coz WE know the truth about them! When time comes for judgement, no-one will be sorrier for the choices they have made than they, seeing that they were damaged little kids right throughout their lives... they will weep for their state, they will weep for their choices and the pain they created in others, and they will no doubt be permitted to judge themselves, coz when you are in the right spirit and you SEE what you have done, you convict yourself... you don't even NEED him to pull the axe down upon ur own neck, u do it urself. And mercifully... he knows this... 🙏❤
That is all it Boils TO down to, Is CONTROL. Everyone of the narcissist fears is Based on CONTROL. NOT ME, I DON'T TAKE NO SHE FROM THE NARCISSIST. AS A MATTER OF FACTS, I DON'T TAKE NO SHE OFF OF NO BODY. I WATCHED WHAT YOU SAID, AND WHAT YOU DO. I DON'T LOVE BS N MY LIFE. MY SOUL KNOWS
They are abandoned children. They were traumatized at a young age and haven't developed healthy coping mechanisms. They are acting purely on a survival mechanism, The only one they have ever known. Therapy can help release that unresolved trauma and teach them healthy coping strategies.
@@fingsandstuff, Emotionally abandoned? By who? Not my parents or anyone in my family. My brother was pampered and coddled throughout his life by all of us. He was the favored child amongst my siblings and I. He was the "Golden Child." He is now a malignant narcissist. My brother was never emotionally neglected.
I was reading some wise words, that happiness is when you can be comfortable with your own self even all alone. I think that's something a narcissist can never do, It explains the many reasons why narcs do what they do, creating dependency- the need to feel important - wanting admiration - being the boss of others and controlling them. They are never satisfied and never secure in themselves and never happy, So I work on being happy with myself even when alone, not that I am always but the people Ive known the longest or the best all know and remark how I seem to lack fear, narcissists no matter how they try and hide it are themselves controlled by fear that they only want to transmit to you, and if you don't accept them they will truly hate you.
Happines for me is being gentle with myself, and having healthy boundaries, and integrity towards my inner child, and finding the safe people to connect with, that are ok with me being my authentic self. And going after my passions, and dreams and hobbies, with the help of God , in my life!:) Being whole and healing and staying true to that inner child :) With gentleness humor love and respect :D
They lack true happiness .I was wondering they have all the materialistic things on Earth but still hate us.They know we have peace and true happiness something they dont have
@Man You seem to misunderstand. I have made every available effort to ensure she never remembers my name. I am stalked through flying monkeys and fake accounts on IG.
@@ericdoan9949 LET THEM STALK!!! LEAVE HER!!! And then go with your own life, WITHOUT her. You're a man but you afraid of being stalked by her and her flying monkeys??? REALLY???
@@sebastiangiovinco2871 What in the actual f*** does my gender have anything to do with fearing anyone or not. She has been left and efforts are made so she never comes around. And it's not so much her, but who can influence with her lies that can do something.
My narc ex told me before she left me 1 month ago for another man was that she had multiple men chasing her and she said I'm not bragging just saying....so even if I ignore her she will tell herself....oh well there are plenty of other men who still will reach out to me. I will always love her though as crazy as that may sound,but I know now who she really is.
They have to be the center of attention! Like A child. They will do ANYTHING to get it too! Even flirting right in front of you and making A fool of themselves even tho they don’t see it that way. Lol It’s all about them! Even before their own children. They make sure you know all about them but could care less to ask you anything of yourself or care about your feelings or what you want. Period! If you like to have A one sided relationship and are at their beck and call then this is for you. However, anyone with self respect run!
Loved this video, and the breakdown of why they do what they do in relation to what they worry about. Brought many memories back of how an ex and even close family members have behaved, and they all hit every point you listed. Keep up the good work
Careful some of their behaviors tend to stick to ppl so if you ever have some one say to you that ur behaving like a narc you should do an internal assessment of ur behavior...
I guess this counts me out. Am solo by design and try only to compete with myself and only brag if someone asks too many personal questions😅 Seriously Aristotle put it clearly humility is the happy medium between arrogance and modesty. (Ethics) Best advice about narcissists: stay away from them and know yourself as best you can.😊
How low you have to think about yourself to keep someone "trapped" so (s)he won't leave you LOL. That is an ultimate admission that you are messed up as you are.
They hate the truth and its legitimate to record interactions and conversations without their knowledge. They are creepy obsesive to the point of stalking/watching you like its their job. Also they are so pathetic they are digging through your trash.
The narc strategy is a failed strategy since perhaps greatness comes from the authenticity to oneselfs, and the true expression of who one is. The narc on the other hand manipulates others because they are unfortunately tightly married to their tactics and their false self. Its how they survived. I grew up in a narc family system, and i was the scapegoat and i am an empath, and i have 3 years in healign from the trauma of growing up in a family system like that. And it happened by finding a safe enough person that was able to share and also sort of in a support group setting where i heard about for the first time people growing up under trauma. Some key aspects where selfcompassion and not being so hard on myself, and the other aspect was healthy boundaries and starting to speak up more for myself and thats when i reconnected to my inner child / true self, and basically i have promised to love honor and protect my inner child or true self and that connection i have best I can and with the help of God. To survive a narcisistic abusive family and specially i lived 2 years alone with the grandiose narc parent it was tough, i drank to cope with the pain and it all. Im sober, and it has taken me a while, to find the correct support to heal from the trauma of growin up in narc abusive family system. First with the selfcompassion, and then by honoring the nudges my inner child gave me , to be his voice and set a boundary when necesary or speak up when necesary, i have now a good connection to my true self. I practice trying to be gentle , and speaking up when i need to, and connecting with safe people and continuing to heal in my life, little by little, and share also what has helped me. The awareness about narc abuse is great out there that its getting out there. We continue to heal, trust God for His strength and guidance, stay true to our inner child, live and keep getting into thriving, playing having fun, and doing our hobbies, and living with coregulation and regulation and peace. Its a good and peaceful life and its all good, and we can choose healthy people, and if a narc comes , we know how to spot the redflags, keep a distance, a healthy boundary, and express our true self anyway shine anyway and choose relationships where reciprocally our true self is welcome.... narcs always want a subjugation, so screw that .Im not about diming my self in anyway anymore, my inner child likes expressing who he is and finding authentic relationships so thats what i try to do for him, have gentleness and healthy boundaries integrity towards him and find those safe enough connections , and love him and do our hobbies, and have fun, and see how much safety there is in the world while being able to navigate and keep safe and protected from the unsafe pople with the healing journey we have and the awareness :)!
I’m married to one. My kids can’t stand him, he blames my kids for ruining our marriage, when it was him and him only. My kids are scared for me and want me to leave. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Leave him before your children leave you, my son left and hasn't looked back because I chose to stay. Im in full no contact now and I feel so alive and normal. My son and I have repaired. Do it for your children ❤from Australia
Narcissists have double standards. They can abandon us but they don't want anyone to abandon them. But also, please see this video that I mentioned to understand more ruclips.net/video/EfopvNkadSY/видео.html
My father is a malignant narcissist. I’ve tried to get it through to him for years that he should talk to someone about his narcissism, however, he shrinks it off like I’m trying to insult or belittle him and usually calls me a narcissist in spite. I thought for a long time I was one till I started watching these videos, they’ve really helped a lot. I often feel bad for hating him but I’ve been loosing my patience with him lately and it’s been getting really violent. Not sure how I can get him to watch this video but I know if I can then it would help.
@@hugmc no I think if they can play devils advocate and entertain even a possibility that they’re narcissists and what a narcissist is then that self awareness could change their life. It’s worked for me so far.
Sorry but you really don't stand a chance. The antisocial (malignant) npd is a sociopath. A lot them get incarcerated because they are so violent. They'd have to lose everybody and everything AND feel bad about it to face themselves. You probably shouldn't confront these types. I know 2, they both did what they did and they were sentenced, actually one is awaiting his sentence but they got him. He was amused by it all and has no remorse. It was an incredible thing to see that lack of emotion. Be careful. You can't fix him. They're too far gone.
I think a narcissist is very aware of its surroundings and they must be good observers, and would be great protectors if they only would use it for good. They take no shit from no one and know if somebody is trying to manipulate them and will instantly fight back very viciouse.
As much as I would love to hate them for what they have done, I just cant, I actually understand how messed up they must be inside, how completely empty they must feel. I empathize with them. I've been there, I've felt completely worthless, like i am absolutely nothing, no self worth at all. It's the worst feeling one can possibly have. The pain is unbearable, but instead of becoming Narcissistic I went off in the complete polar opposite direction, I became a people pleaser and overly empathetic and tended to everyone else's needs and never my own. But! I healed over time without therapy, I now have strong boundaries, a tonne of self respect and still maintain my understanding and empathetic qualities. So I believe they can be helped, its just getting them to realize they need help is the hard part as they live in constant denial of any wrong doing. But after experiencing a relationship with one for a few months, even in that brief time, I could see their true inner self screaming out for help, I could sense their pain and feel the utter helplessness and despair of them being stuck in a continuous cycle of self fulfilled misery yet not knowing how to break free.
@@fingsandstuff it’s interesting what you said b/c my ex “friend”/abuser came to me in my dreams a few nts ago. In part of it they were desperately attempting to reach out to me for a hug kinda like the movie Groundhog Day on a loop. I literally saw their terrified inner child with my eyes in the dream. But they could never fully commit to the hug or trust me. It took me a day to make sense of it all. At first I felt compassion & sadness for them. Then I realized the likelihood of this ever happening in real life is zero…and I must admit my compassion fizzled to zero as well. However I do understand what you said-and I do also believe they can change. The problem is most don’t want to even if aware. I can’t support or enable that anymore w this particular person. They know exactly who/what they are and do not care that they hurt ppl. very sad all around
@@spiritgurl1111 I see NPD as being similar to multiple personality disorder. There is their true self, scared, weak, has no sense of self and there is the fake self, the mask they wear to protect that inner true self at all costs. I think their inner true self, the weak, scared, vulnerable person that feels worthless knows what they do is wrong and actually feels guilt. I think that is why they often dob themselves in. Not because they actually want to do that, but it is in fact just their inner self wanting to relieve themselves from the guilt. Hence why you will often find them insinuating or even confessing things, then a day later they will deny doing such. The inner self tries to relieve the guilt, then the mask comes back on and protection mode is enabled, deny deny deny... I think its not really a deliberate attempt to confess but more a byproduct of the condition. My ex let the mask slip a few times and I saw the real raw true her. Feels totally worthless, feels she doesn't deserve good things, feels she deserves all the bad that happens to her, feels it was her fault and that she deserved to be sexually abused as a child. She saw herself as having no value at all. None. She didn't reveal this all at once, this is something I came to realize over time after piecing together many conversations and moments of her letting her mask slip. I can actually see why she needs constant validation, she has no sense of worth at all inside. And believe me, unfortunately for me and sadly too, for her, she seeked validation daily, multiple times. Unfortunately victims of sexual abuse will often put themselves through that same trauma in order to try and still process it or to gain power over it. Sadly, people cant keep secrets like that for long. So of course it was only a matter of time before I found out. Instead of being hurt, I just felt sad for her, because for her to do that, she must be messed up pretty bad. So I researched trauma etc etc and fell into this who personality disorder rabbit hole. But I too have learned that you cant even suggest they need help, because in their mind they are doing ok, well, the fake image thinks they are, deep down they are suffering and only causing themselves more pain. But dont dare try to even suggest that. So yes sometimes walking away and hoping they finally see the light is the best that you can do. It's sad, it really is. Deep down they are miserable and know it but their coping mechanism (the fake image) is preventing them to see that it is exactly that misguided coping mechanism that is actually causing them the grief.
@@fingsandstuff yep I’ve seen many drs & coaches make the comparison to multiple pd. My abuser most definitely told on herself in little drips over years. But like you I had no clue about NPD til I went down the same rabbit hole at the end of the bs relationshit. Now it’s all crystal clear 😵💫😩 and she seems proud of her vile behaviors. I just cannot wrap my head around that level of arrogance + stupidity + cruelty
While sometimes I want to "kill" the narcissist, I never want to take advantage of them. This would cause me pain, and bring out my sympathy and want to fix it for them. But I guess they still are afraid around me. I have always wanted a good relationship with my narcissist and never want him to hurt. I still feel protective of him. But I need the same thing back!
Yo, same here..... Sometimes I really want to k!ll my Narc. It's no problem to take some of an advantage of them, as they take an advantage of you. If you think about it, really, with the Narc it is not relationship, its always transactional-ship.
Wanting to save a narcissist. Doesn't make sense to me. You are leaving yourself emotionally wide open to be an easy target emotionally victimized, and allowing more narcs. in your life, because you feel sorry for them. Ain't my cup of tea, but to each it's own.
@@Prometheuspredator Thanks for the put-down where you come out "smarter". I do not appreciate it. If you can't support where someone else is, then perhaps it is good not to comment at all. Yes, this is a boundary.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer, I do apologize about my response and realize i may have came off too strong, but i am coming from a diffrent mindset than you as my character as a person does conflict with narcissists. I have learned this the hard way from dealing with these evil monsters both professionally and personally. I found for myself that giving these type of people abnormal in character consideration and sympathy is leading you into a place of being a target of their abuse, manuplation, and triangulation with others. As I hope you can see that I don't give them any consideration for their frailty of life experiences as my recourse is to give them no attention nor sympathy. I gray rock and terminate relationships when there is evidence of narcissistic tendencies. I have hit a ceiling in my life that does not support nor feel sorry for these freaks of nature.
Can someone give some info. about what happens after you leave them, without warning, and go no contact… after over 16 years of marriage? I know he tried to gain control over financial things but to no avail… I just wonder if he has indeed turned the page and already lives “happily ever after” while one struggles to heal and to keep going while trying to make sense of all the horrible things that happened through the years…. I know it may sound silly but…. Maybe a little sense of closure?
One thing I've learned is that there is no happily ever after for them. They haven't changed. They'll go through life seeking relief but won't find it because they don't look within. The narc in my life used me to help regulate his emotions & it was exhausting. He used projection or blame shifting in order to avoid responsibility or accountability. Since they don't want to be left alone to face their demons, it won't be any different for the next person(s) they draw in. Those poor souls will suffer just as we have. The only closure is the closure we give ourselves. All the best to you on your healing journey.
You left and the best thing for you to do now is forget about getting closure. Trust me, he wasn't happy with you and no matter who he is with -- he won't be happy with her either because they do not know how to be truly happy. Rest now. Enjoy life. Piss on him. Live happily ever after because it is a gift that not all people get...
You have to give yourself closure don't go back stay no contact. Time helps heal, the longer your away from the narcissist the better you will feel and you will start to see clearly what the narcissist motives were. Stay no contact and do the necessary work on yourself to heal and be a better you.
I believe you know the answer to the question you are asking here. No matter how much time has passed statistically these types of people turning the page is extremely rare. Logically you feel it's not likely the same way I do. My relationship of 17 years with my Nex, I can think back and remind myself of how she just would not accept any kind of criticisms of any kind from anyone at all. She loved going hours talking about my many failures, shortcomings, flaws and everything else alike especially with my own family members when I was present but not near or close enough to hear. It's very upsetting to think these people are the way they are but the most important thing to remember is they do not think the way you and I do. Literally, In almost every aspect and way we percieve life in our many experiences the narc could be standing right next to you witness it all In front of them and they still will NOT see things the way we do or interpret it in a healthy manner. It's best to avoid letting any thought of these people in your mind. I ask you please don't do it to yourself. Having been in close contact with them had done enough damage to many of us in the world and that number grows every day at a terrible and freightening rate. Live you your life and give not a second of thought about them at all. They are not thinking about you at all or me or anyone else for that matter, only them & always will be always about and only them. Take care of yourself.
But as a survivor of narcissistic abuse I was told by a counselor that I need to be treated w respect? That I need to leave the room when someone asks a disrespecting me. It’s called boundaries. I believe everyone should be treated w respectf
I’ve always wondered if 100 narcissists was dumped on a nice Sunny island..On this island would be large storehouses full of a variety of food and everyday needs like soap etc.Clean water and tea and coffee.No drugs or booze though.Also good living quarters given with clean bathrooms,showers etc..The narcissists are left on this Sunny island for a year to live together..Would they be ok together.?.Or when the boat comes in a years time,there’s only one narcissist there eating the second from last narcissist remaining..Though the food storehouses are still got more than plenty of food..
i think abandonment is also an empath/echoist thing not a narccisistic fear, Yes Narcissists fear abandonment because you cannot be the supply no more and feel you are getting away. people must understand that waiting for a text is not a bad thing, feeling ignored is a human fear
My ex narc gf has been abandoned by her father and I know of 3 ex bf including me that walked out on her ‘ she’s way to damaged to ever be happy with anyone .now on new supply with her 3rd child with 3 different men including my son
@@ExposingtheNarcissist : Oh I see. Never would I ever have conceived of him walking out one morning, never coming back, never telling me, divorcing me, after 39 yrs married. He needed the (his) upper hand, his control, his decision.
Narcissists are the worst kind of people. My ex narc didn’t take me to the ER during two medical emergencies (sooo many other things he did) but came crying to me like a baby when he had food poisoning and I still took care of him like an imbecile.
Holy sht, I'm a narcissist in some ways. I'm not out to be the best, or want attention, but I desire recognition of work well done This is military training and coming home to a new world. I will not cheat people, but I hate being embarrassed or made fun of. I am indeed easily offended and I will expose people for their faults, though I will not desire to manipulate or control. I just want people to do their fare share. I literally hate attention all on me, though I hate being judged in the slightest. Make a video on how to practice being a better person!!
The thing with personality disorders is that everyone exhibits these characteristics to an extent. It’s when the intensity of these attributes reaches levels that are untenable and dysfunctional that there’s a problem. The fact that you have enough self-awareness to post this comment probably means you are under clinical levels of narcissism. Also, I don’t know your personal history (none of my business), but from some of what you are saying, you might have some trauma or/and an overly developed inner critic.
If a narcissist is watching this video. Focus in yourself, forget about other people's opinions and go into therapy please. The list of things you people worry about it enough to cause you depression/ anxiety
To the narcissist every time you call them out or stand up for yourself it's always "disrespect " to them. That does not stop me from calling out the lies and deception smh
Omg!! So true! My eyes have been opened so wide!! My narcissist ex always called it disrespect!! He’s so pathetic!! I’m so free now!!
10000 % truth
It's a pity when you are so brainwashed that you think it's your fault all the time.
Yes, you never get to stand up for yourself. You never get to defend your self. You don't even get to even the score because it is "all disrespect" and you are treated as if you are dangerous.
They really take offense when you bombard them with truth and facts.
Yes they can dish it out but they can't take it in return
Ain't that the damn truth.
Exactly I tell him that all the time
This sounds just like Dr Sam Harris who is a narcissists narcissist.
O yes we can take it because we are Great
True
Covert Narcissists are worried about
Being abandoned
Losing respect
Their flaws or weaknesses pointed out
Being average
Not being the centre of attention
Being taken advantage of
Being made fun of
Not having enough control
TOTALLY AGREE KEEPING PEOPLE TRAPPED. TOO.. THE GANGSTALKING ON ME AND MY 2 SONS HARRASEMENT.
They are all of these anyway.
And yet they seem to do everything they can to make all of that stuff happen as often as possible.
It is a sad fact 😔 but true fact.
You just described my ex to a T. I'm just now learning I was duped and was in an mentally abusive circus of a relationship. I'm so glad i woke up to this type of personality.
They fear abandonment yet abandon you in the most horrific way possible. 😕
Yes. There are lots of employers and shareholders who behave like that towards those who are helping them get rich by doing back breaking and damaging of lungs work which is high risk too. Like the possibility of say loosing an arm while working in a factory. Think a woman or a man who is outstanding in productivity there while having expectional good health compared to others there? Think again. A lot of employers and shareholders in the Victorian era instead of being grateful to employees would have rather been gossiping about them after they lost yet another marriage partner or another child again so they wouldn't have to face their corruption like for example manufacturing a whole lot of things back then containing by using arsenic as one of the supplies to do so. Not to mention how much any young scientist man or woman back then would have been treated whenever calling for peace instead of going along with the flow anytime the crown thought going to war again was the best thing for the crown to do. Like for example during the Boer war in Africa.
All I have to say is they are crazy and very very Evil. I spend no time with those clowns.
True
so true
Have not spoken to my brother for years
Avoid, ignore and evade!!
Evil huh? Based
Tell them what they are and watch em run!!
The narc in my life for the past 33 years, still throws in my face an incident that happened 25 years ago! We were having a cookout with a group of friends and he accidentally started a grease fire on the front porch and when he went to get water to spray it myself and two of our guests, yelled for him not to use water on a grease fire. To this day when he is ranting about whatever, he will throw that incident on my face, accusing me of trying to humiliate him in front of our friends. Believe me, they never forget anything they have perceived as a narcissistic injury and then person who, in their mind, caused it. They never forget and never forgive.
Very very rightly said about them, they never forget and each time they remember it you can see the hatred in their eyes
Curse you! 3 demerits to you all right there!
OMG 😳 I thought I was the only one experiencing something similar 😅
This is 💯 accurate
It seems so silly. Mistakes are opportunities to learn but he was concerned about was what others think. Its a self esteem issue. He cant generate it on his own so he tries to borrow yours
Thank you so much for the work you are doing. These pathetic, delusional people try to avoid abandonment by people who find them detestable. They have already been abandoned! There is no one so blind as one who refuses to see.
Well said!
Yeah.agree.❤️😊👍
I highly recommend therapy to anyone that has been or still is in a relationship with a toxic person!
The awareness of narcissistic behavior and how to deal with it through watching the videos of Clarice is all the therapy you will ever need.
@@garyviehe9365 honestly!
I've had to go due to my awful mother and my father inlaw. It honestly hasn't worked for me. They just keep crossing our boundaries with zero fks given.
Their biggest worry is them getting exposed for who they really are!
Simply they don't have to have a reason to worry!
They sure do know how to dish it out! This explains why he always feels he has to partner with someone.
I was wondering why he has always been so afraid to launch out on his own!
Amazing though how many people support him.
My goodness, is this ever a wonderful dose of wisdom. Every word should be Underlined … 🙏🏼
Thanks for listening!💖
So so true the ex narcissist I used to be married to was just like that was scared of Abandonment so he left me it was a blessing but every time we would be somewhere and he would see homeless people he would always say I never want to be like that and he has the look in his eyes like a little scared kid when he says it so true love your work💯👏🏾
Yoh
It's ironic that their way of life actually leads to what they fear the most; abandonment.
As I listen to this again 6 months later, I realize how well my mother fits this description. I was sooo busy thinking I was to blame for everything that happened, that I did not notice these eccentricities/"exccentrocities" in her! I am able to really scrutinize her personality and how she treated me now, without being blinded by my need to unconditionally love her. I had no capacity to love that. But I sure tried. Thank you, Clarise. Your vision is clear and you pass that on to me. 🕶
Agree spot on. Yes, everyone has a bad head in life but can you imagine living with bad head day everyday. Narcissistic people are running from their self every day. The problem is you can’t run from yourself 😂
It must be hard being with them but they made their choice .Many people were abused as children but didnt allow that to turn them to blood sucking people
@@zakithiganyaza5525 yes
The things we fear comes among us smh I can only pray God search there hearts & free them from that tormenting spirit to awaken kindness as it’s given to them. Let us Pray 🙏🏾
I have just realised I am a overt narcissist. And I have attracted a covert narcissist. Bless you Clarice. I am praying for us both to find our humility. My soul depends on it.
Wow, well at least you admit it. If your really want to be set Free from Narcissism, pls check out Daniel Adams on RUclips
You may be the first Narcissistd to get delievered from generational demons curses from the family bloodline . Check it out! I will be deleting my comment . So I Hope you See itb
Congrats on realizing you are a narc.possibly get some therapy
So many truths, but I'm reminded of all the times id have to be aware of the tone I said anything in, cos the wrong tone meant id have to explain what the problem was when there wasn't a problem. Impossible and exhausting.
Yes all 8 points are100% correct
Thanks for another informative perspective! Many Continuous Blessings!🌻
We find it so hard to even fathom how someone could live this way.
If only there were some kind of cure, because they would be less damage left by these toxic contemptuous dangerous people.
Thank you for your educational videos, Clarice.
❤❤❤
He got freaked out at the grocery store because I wandered off to look at the sale item aisle. I said why didn't you just text me? We both have cell phones? I was maybe 20 feet away from him. Swing and a miss? That didn't land for him but it was notable to me. We are grown up adults that are calm and loving to each other, right? So glad he's gone.
I strongly disagree.
The narcissist is not scared of abandonment, rather they are scared of being irrelevant.
They feel nothing as far as emotional abandonment but rather anger they weren’t able to abandon you first.
I believe it’s a massive misconception among many in the trauma profession.
Narcissists are empty shells.
They feel nothing other than hidden insecurities.
This lady missed the boat on a lot of stuff.
No, they fear abandonment. It's not the abandonment of the person, it's the abandonment of the situation. You might be paying for everything or providing a home, car, etc.
You're right, they don't care ANYTHING about the person, they care about what they will lose until they are the one that is ready to abandon you.
Exactly that's why they come back to finish the job they have to WIN it makes them feel powerful
I am dealing with my ex who left me recently after 30 years of putting up with their nonsense. I started the grey rocking and could see that infuriate them, then indulged in a bit of calling them out and setting some boundaries. They got enraged by me calling them out and totally ignored any boundaries I set . I even posted something on social media which critisised them and was then threatened with legal action accusing me of slander and threatened to enact an apprehended violence order against me, so I calmly made notes on some of their nonsense and threats and sent them to my lawyer for advice. I'm a bit over dealing with their rage for a bit, and it was nice to get a chance to call them out as it gave my confidence a boost but I need a break so reverting back to grey rocking. Cant go totally no contact just yet as I am trying to negotiate a settlement with regards assets and have them feeling like their winning when I know I am happy to leave under what we currently have agreed to. I know they have squirreled away some money from me over time and I have subtly let them know I know. Have an old friend who is my lawyer and he will ensure that he uncovers any financial dishonesty on their part, so will be an interesting couple of monthd.
I’m right there with you. 29 years in. Coming up on mediation in less than a month. Not sure what to expect but my lawyers strategy is on point. Hope we can end it after mediation. Can’t wait to be me, free and on my journey far away from it.
8 Things that the covert narcissist worries about:
1. Being abandoned
2. Losing respect
3. Having their flaws or weaknesses exposed
4. Being seen as average
5. Being outshone
6. Being taken advantage of
7. Being embarassed or made fun of
8. Not having control over others.
Basically these ppl are scared, hurt little children who have learned that the world cannot be trusted to be seen as safe, and they need spiritual healing, becoz that is where their wound is and Jrhovah God is the only source of that healing 😮💨
you could also argue that they are possessed
@@stevensteven3417 BINGO!!!!!
That first wonderful person you meet is the damaged and spiritually-stunted child inside, looking for new parental hope in the form of you.
But the person you begin to deal with more and more thereafter, is the demon they made a deal with in order to try to feel powerful in this scary, confusing world.
Coz trying to pretend you are a capable fully-formed adult is impossible as a small child without help in this world - i know coz i used to try until i found just being honest was even MORE empowering.
All we can do is love them, be patient, be kind no matter how mean they feel they need to be to us, and treat them tenderly like the scared little children they are, but with the respect our brothers and sisters deserve - don't take their crap, just don't hate them like everyone else they encounter does, coz WE know the truth about them!
When time comes for judgement, no-one will be sorrier for the choices they have made than they, seeing that they were damaged little kids right throughout their lives... they will weep for their state, they will weep for their choices and the pain they created in others, and they will no doubt be permitted to judge themselves, coz when you are in the right spirit and you SEE what you have done, you convict yourself... you don't even NEED him to pull the axe down upon ur own neck, u do it urself.
And mercifully... he knows this... 🙏❤
5 and 8 are beyond the truth. They are very insecure and feel like Grade A Losers.
Totally agree! They can manipulate humans but they can't manipulate Jehovah!!!
Its weird how narcs stalk people & somehow we'll think it's love.....NO,it's DISRESPECT!@
That is all it Boils TO down to, Is CONTROL.
Everyone of the narcissist fears is Based on CONTROL.
NOT ME, I DON'T TAKE NO SHE FROM THE NARCISSIST.
AS A MATTER OF FACTS,
I DON'T TAKE NO SHE OFF OF NO BODY.
I WATCHED WHAT YOU SAID, AND WHAT YOU DO.
I DON'T LOVE BS N MY LIFE.
MY SOUL KNOWS
Only a Narcissist won’t tolerate another narcissist
All these things they worry about as a narc they need to know how to be nice to people they really go thru alot I don't feel sorry for them tho
S neither do I it amazes me how they absolutely cannot accept NO.
They are abandoned children. They were traumatized at a young age and haven't developed healthy coping mechanisms. They are acting purely on a survival mechanism, The only one they have ever known. Therapy can help release that unresolved trauma and teach them healthy coping strategies.
@@fingsandstuff abandoned children????? I don't think so.
Most of Narc I've ever met is a pampered children by their parent.
@@sebastiangiovinco2871 indeed, emotionally abandoned too leads to narcissism.
@@fingsandstuff, Emotionally abandoned? By who? Not my parents or anyone in my family. My brother was pampered and coddled throughout his life by all of us. He was the favored child amongst my siblings and I. He was the "Golden Child." He is now a malignant narcissist. My brother was never emotionally neglected.
I was reading some wise words, that happiness is when you can be comfortable with your own self even all alone. I think that's something a narcissist can never do, It explains the many reasons why narcs do what they do, creating dependency- the need to feel important - wanting admiration - being the boss of others and controlling them. They are never satisfied and never secure in themselves and never happy, So I work on being happy with myself even when alone, not that I am always but the people Ive known the longest or the best all know and remark how I seem to lack fear, narcissists no matter how they try and hide it are themselves controlled by fear that they only want to transmit to you, and if you don't accept them they will truly hate you.
Happines for me is being gentle with myself, and having healthy boundaries, and integrity towards my inner child, and finding the safe people to connect with, that are ok with me being my authentic self. And going after my passions, and dreams and hobbies, with the help of God , in my life!:) Being whole and healing and staying true to that inner child :) With gentleness humor love and respect :D
They lack true happiness .I was wondering they have all the materialistic things on Earth but still hate us.They know we have peace and true happiness something they dont have
Thank you Dr.Clarice for your wonderful researches on Narcissism and warning us
I am always watching your videos for more information and understanding of my narc. She is still at it with her cheap petty tactics for attention.
@Man I am not exactly sure how much more "leave her" I can be. She will bait me and get 0 reaction. Even when I am in a position to react in any way.
@Man You seem to misunderstand. I have made every available effort to ensure she never remembers my name. I am stalked through flying monkeys and fake accounts on IG.
@@ericdoan9949 LET THEM STALK!!! LEAVE HER!!!
And then go with your own life, WITHOUT her.
You're a man but you afraid of being stalked by her and her flying monkeys??? REALLY???
@@sebastiangiovinco2871 What in the actual f*** does my gender have anything to do with fearing anyone or not. She has been left and efforts are made so she never comes around. And it's not so much her, but who can influence with her lies that can do something.
My narc ex told me before she left me 1 month ago for another man was that she had multiple men chasing her and she said I'm not bragging just saying....so even if I ignore her she will tell herself....oh well there are plenty of other men who still will reach out to me. I will always love her though as crazy as that may sound,but I know now who she really is.
They have to be the center of attention! Like A child. They will do ANYTHING to get it too! Even flirting right in front of you and making A fool of themselves even tho they don’t see it that way. Lol It’s all about them! Even before their own children. They make sure you know all about them but could care less to ask you anything of yourself or care about your feelings or what you want. Period! If you like to have A one sided relationship and are at their beck and call then this is for you. However, anyone with self respect run!
Thank you Clarice! ♥️
Loved this video, and the breakdown of why they do what they do in relation to what they worry about. Brought many memories back of how an ex and even close family members have behaved, and they all hit every point you listed. Keep up the good work
Careful some of their behaviors tend to stick to ppl so if you ever have some one say to you that ur behaving like a narc you should do an internal assessment of ur behavior...
Very informative
NeigHbour narcissists hate indoor/outdoor security cameras, too. Mine is a communal and maybe classic narcissist.
I guess this counts me out.
Am solo by design and try only to compete with myself and only brag if someone asks too many personal questions😅
Seriously Aristotle put it clearly humility is the happy medium between arrogance and modesty. (Ethics)
Best advice about narcissists: stay away from them and know yourself as best you can.😊
How low you have to think about yourself to keep someone "trapped" so (s)he won't leave you LOL. That is an ultimate admission that you are messed up as you are.
My partner called me names like cow useless miserable .then said he didn't say it or prentend it never happened.
Same here, exactly
They hate the truth and its legitimate to record interactions and conversations without their knowledge.
They are creepy obsesive to the point of stalking/watching you like its their job.
Also they are so pathetic they are digging through your trash.
Their lives are made up of fears and worry. They live a miserable existence filled with paranoia and hate. It must be exhausting !
May Lord guide them in his light and life
He didn't like me to laugh or talk
The narc strategy is a failed strategy since perhaps greatness comes from the authenticity to oneselfs, and the true expression of who one is. The narc on the other hand manipulates others because they are unfortunately tightly married to their tactics and their false self. Its how they survived. I grew up in a narc family system, and i was the scapegoat and i am an empath, and i have 3 years in healign from the trauma of growing up in a family system like that. And it happened by finding a safe enough person that was able to share and also sort of in a support group setting where i heard about for the first time people growing up under trauma. Some key aspects where selfcompassion and not being so hard on myself, and the other aspect was healthy boundaries and starting to speak up more for myself and thats when i reconnected to my inner child / true self, and basically i have promised to love honor and protect my inner child or true self and that connection i have best I can and with the help of God. To survive a narcisistic abusive family and specially i lived 2 years alone with the grandiose narc parent it was tough, i drank to cope with the pain and it all. Im sober, and it has taken me a while, to find the correct support to heal from the trauma of growin up in narc abusive family system. First with the selfcompassion, and then by honoring the nudges my inner child gave me , to be his voice and set a boundary when necesary or speak up when necesary, i have now a good connection to my true self. I practice trying to be gentle , and speaking up when i need to, and connecting with safe people and continuing to heal in my life, little by little, and share also what has helped me. The awareness about narc abuse is great out there that its getting out there. We continue to heal, trust God for His strength and guidance, stay true to our inner child, live and keep getting into thriving, playing having fun, and doing our hobbies, and living with coregulation and regulation and peace. Its a good and peaceful life and its all good, and we can choose healthy people, and if a narc comes , we know how to spot the redflags, keep a distance, a healthy boundary, and express our true self anyway shine anyway and choose relationships where reciprocally our true self is welcome.... narcs always want a subjugation, so screw that .Im not about diming my self in anyway anymore, my inner child likes expressing who he is and finding authentic relationships so thats what i try to do for him, have gentleness and healthy boundaries integrity towards him and find those safe enough connections , and love him and do our hobbies, and have fun, and see how much safety there is in the world while being able to navigate and keep safe and protected from the unsafe pople with the healing journey we have and the awareness :)!
That's true ..... I am afraid of being perceived iz " average " . 😅😅😅😅🙏🏼💯
We ❤ Claurice; phenomenal video . 👏🏼💯
This is very true they are a scerit layers
I’m married to one. My kids can’t stand him, he blames my kids for ruining our marriage, when it was him and him only. My kids are scared for me and want me to leave. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Leave him before your children leave you, my son left and hasn't looked back because I chose to stay.
Im in full no contact now and I feel so alive and normal. My son and I have repaired.
Do it for your children ❤from Australia
@Exposing the Narcissist Great content! Please, what is the title to the song and the artist towards the end? Very beautiful jazz! Thank you.
Hi. Thanks. I think it is called Hold On. I got it through my Storyblocks subscription.
@@ExposingtheNarcissist Awesome. Thank you!
Keep up the good work 👏 🙌 👍 👌 💪 😉
💯 accurate with what happened to me…
Super paranoid controllers
How do they fear it when they’re the ones doing the abandoning? 🤔
Exactly - I second that thought! 🤔
Narcissists have double standards. They can abandon us but they don't want anyone to abandon them. But also, please see this video that I mentioned to understand more ruclips.net/video/EfopvNkadSY/видео.html
If they do it first… you cant. Leave first or be left.
Thanks for this video ... its 💯 true ... was.esp. looking for info about covert narcissists
This is brilliant. Thanks
My father is a malignant narcissist. I’ve tried to get it through to him for years that he should talk to someone about his narcissism, however, he shrinks it off like I’m trying to insult or belittle him and usually calls me a narcissist in spite. I thought for a long time I was one till I started watching these videos, they’ve really helped a lot. I often feel bad for hating him but I’ve been loosing my patience with him lately and it’s been getting really violent. Not sure how I can get him to watch this video but I know if I can then it would help.
Your living a delusion they are sick demons that can’t be healed sorry but it’s true
@@hugmc no I think if they can play devils advocate and entertain even a possibility that they’re narcissists and what a narcissist is then that self awareness could change their life. It’s worked for me so far.
Sorry but you really don't stand a chance. The antisocial (malignant) npd is a sociopath. A lot them get incarcerated because they are so violent. They'd have to lose everybody and everything AND feel bad about it to face themselves. You probably shouldn't confront these types. I know 2, they both did what they did and they were sentenced, actually one is awaiting his sentence but they got him. He was amused by it all and has no remorse. It was an incredible thing to see that lack of emotion. Be careful. You can't fix him. They're too far gone.
@@murphine969 narcissistic people on the lower scale can deliberately chance some things about themselves but they can’t be healed
spot on!!
I think a narcissist is very aware of its surroundings and they must be good observers, and would be great protectors if they only would use it for good. They take no shit from no one and know if somebody is trying to manipulate them and will instantly fight back very viciouse.
A very true video.
Thanks🙏
They are very Petty and self-absorbed
As much as I would love to hate them for what they have done, I just cant, I actually understand how messed up they must be inside, how completely empty they must feel. I empathize with them. I've been there, I've felt completely worthless, like i am absolutely nothing, no self worth at all. It's the worst feeling one can possibly have. The pain is unbearable, but instead of becoming Narcissistic I went off in the complete polar opposite direction, I became a people pleaser and overly empathetic and tended to everyone else's needs and never my own. But! I healed over time without therapy, I now have strong boundaries, a tonne of self respect and still maintain my understanding and empathetic qualities. So I believe they can be helped, its just getting them to realize they need help is the hard part as they live in constant denial of any wrong doing. But after experiencing a relationship with one for a few months, even in that brief time, I could see their true inner self screaming out for help, I could sense their pain and feel the utter helplessness and despair of them being stuck in a continuous cycle of self fulfilled misery yet not knowing how to break free.
So well said thank you
@@spiritgurl1111 You're welcome 🙂
@@fingsandstuff it’s interesting what you said b/c my ex “friend”/abuser came to me in my dreams a few nts ago. In part of it they were desperately attempting to reach out to me for a hug kinda like the movie Groundhog Day on a loop. I literally saw their terrified inner child with my eyes in the dream. But they could never fully commit to the hug or trust me. It took me a day to make sense of it all. At first I felt compassion & sadness for them. Then I realized the likelihood of this ever happening in real life is zero…and I must admit my compassion fizzled to zero as well. However I do understand what you said-and I do also believe they can change. The problem is most don’t want to even if aware. I can’t support or enable that anymore w this particular person. They know exactly who/what they are and do not care that they hurt ppl. very sad all around
@@spiritgurl1111 I see NPD as being similar to multiple personality disorder. There is their true self, scared, weak, has no sense of self and there is the fake self, the mask they wear to protect that inner true self at all costs. I think their inner true self, the weak, scared, vulnerable person that feels worthless knows what they do is wrong and actually feels guilt. I think that is why they often dob themselves in. Not because they actually want to do that, but it is in fact just their inner self wanting to relieve themselves from the guilt. Hence why you will often find them insinuating or even confessing things, then a day later they will deny doing such. The inner self tries to relieve the guilt, then the mask comes back on and protection mode is enabled, deny deny deny... I think its not really a deliberate attempt to confess but more a byproduct of the condition. My ex let the mask slip a few times and I saw the real raw true her. Feels totally worthless, feels she doesn't deserve good things, feels she deserves all the bad that happens to her, feels it was her fault and that she deserved to be sexually abused as a child. She saw herself as having no value at all. None. She didn't reveal this all at once, this is something I came to realize over time after piecing together many conversations and moments of her letting her mask slip. I can actually see why she needs constant validation, she has no sense of worth at all inside. And believe me, unfortunately for me and sadly too, for her, she seeked validation daily, multiple times. Unfortunately victims of sexual abuse will often put themselves through that same trauma in order to try and still process it or to gain power over it. Sadly, people cant keep secrets like that for long. So of course it was only a matter of time before I found out. Instead of being hurt, I just felt sad for her, because for her to do that, she must be messed up pretty bad. So I researched trauma etc etc and fell into this who personality disorder rabbit hole. But I too have learned that you cant even suggest they need help, because in their mind they are doing ok, well, the fake image thinks they are, deep down they are suffering and only causing themselves more pain. But dont dare try to even suggest that. So yes sometimes walking away and hoping they finally see the light is the best that you can do. It's sad, it really is. Deep down they are miserable and know it but their coping mechanism (the fake image) is preventing them to see that it is exactly that misguided coping mechanism that is actually causing them the grief.
@@fingsandstuff yep
I’ve seen many drs & coaches make the comparison to multiple pd. My abuser most definitely told on herself in little drips over years. But like you I had no clue about NPD til I went down the same rabbit hole at the end of the bs relationshit. Now it’s all crystal clear 😵💫😩 and she seems proud of her vile behaviors. I just cannot wrap my head around that level of arrogance + stupidity + cruelty
While sometimes I want to "kill" the narcissist, I never want to take advantage of them. This would cause me pain, and bring out my sympathy and want to fix it for them. But I guess they still are afraid around me. I have always wanted a good relationship with my narcissist and never want him to hurt. I still feel protective of him. But I need the same thing back!
Yo, same here..... Sometimes I really want to k!ll my Narc.
It's no problem to take some of an advantage of them, as they take an advantage of you.
If you think about it, really, with the Narc it is not relationship, its always transactional-ship.
ONE MORE. YOU CANNOT FIX PEOPLE , OR HELP TO FIX PEOPLE WHO NOT WILLING TO FIX THEMSELVES.
And with the Narc, MOSTLY, they become worse as they age.
Wanting to save a narcissist. Doesn't make sense to me. You are leaving yourself emotionally wide open to be an easy target emotionally victimized, and allowing more narcs. in your life, because you feel sorry for them. Ain't my cup of tea, but to each it's own.
@@Prometheuspredator Thanks for the put-down where you come out "smarter". I do not appreciate it. If you can't support where someone else is, then perhaps it is good not to comment at all. Yes, this is a boundary.
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer, I do apologize about my response and realize i may have came off too strong, but i am coming from a diffrent mindset than you as my character as a person does conflict with narcissists. I have learned this the hard way from dealing with these evil monsters both professionally and personally. I found for myself that giving these type of people abnormal in character consideration and sympathy is leading you into a place of being a target of their abuse, manuplation, and triangulation with others. As I hope you can see that I don't give them any consideration for their frailty of life experiences as my recourse is to give them no attention nor sympathy. I gray rock and terminate relationships when there is evidence of narcissistic tendencies. I have hit a ceiling in my life that does not support nor feel sorry for these freaks of nature.
Can someone give some info. about what happens after you leave them, without warning, and go no contact… after over 16 years of marriage? I know he tried to gain control over financial things but to no avail… I just wonder if he has indeed turned the page and already lives “happily ever after” while one struggles to heal and to keep going while trying to make sense of all the horrible things that happened through the years…. I know it may sound silly but…. Maybe a little sense of closure?
One thing I've learned is that there is no happily ever after for them. They haven't changed. They'll go through life seeking relief but won't find it because they don't look within. The narc in my life used me to help regulate his emotions & it was exhausting. He used projection or blame shifting in order to avoid responsibility or accountability. Since they don't want to be left alone to face their demons, it won't be any different for the next person(s) they draw in. Those poor souls will suffer just as we have. The only closure is the closure we give ourselves. All the best to you on your healing journey.
You left and the best thing for you to do now is forget about getting closure. Trust me, he wasn't happy with you and no matter who he is with -- he won't be happy with her either because they do not know how to be truly happy. Rest now. Enjoy life. Piss on him. Live happily ever after because it is a gift that not all people get...
You have to give yourself closure don't go back stay no contact. Time helps heal, the longer your away from the narcissist the better you will feel and you will start to see clearly what the narcissist motives were. Stay no contact and do the necessary work on yourself to heal and be a better you.
I believe you know the answer to the question you are asking here. No matter how much time has passed statistically these types of people turning the page is extremely rare. Logically you feel it's not likely the same way I do. My relationship of 17 years with my Nex, I can think back and remind myself of how she just would not accept any kind of criticisms of any kind from anyone at all. She loved going hours talking about my many failures, shortcomings, flaws and everything else alike especially with my own family members when I was present but not near or close enough to hear. It's very upsetting to think these people are the way they are but the most important thing to remember is they do not think the way you and I do. Literally, In almost every aspect and way we percieve life in our many experiences the narc could be standing right next to you witness it all In front of them and they still will NOT see things the way we do or interpret it in a healthy manner. It's best to avoid letting any thought of these people in your mind. I ask you please don't do it to yourself. Having been in close contact with them had done enough damage to many of us in the world and that number grows every day at a terrible and freightening rate. Live you your life and give not a second of thought about them at all. They are not thinking about you at all or me or anyone else for that matter, only them & always will be always about and only them. Take care of yourself.
But as a survivor of narcissistic abuse I was told by a counselor that I need to be treated w respect? That I need to leave the room when someone asks a disrespecting me. It’s called boundaries. I believe everyone should be treated w respectf
Thanks!
Wonderful! Thanks again!
They can abandon you, disrespect you
I’ve always wondered if 100 narcissists was dumped on a nice Sunny island..On this island would be large storehouses full of a variety of food and everyday needs like soap etc.Clean water and tea and coffee.No drugs or booze though.Also good living quarters given with clean bathrooms,showers etc..The narcissists are left on this Sunny island for a year to live together..Would they be ok together.?.Or when the boat comes in a years time,there’s only one narcissist there eating the second from last narcissist remaining..Though the food storehouses are still got more than plenty of food..
Good info, but the speech method seems to be hard to listen to. But sure is important message
Narcissist only worry about money and getting it from someone else! They are users !!
All you have said is the truth. They love attention, competing.
How can they have abandonment issues when THEY ABONDON people??!
Because they are hypocrites. Do not try to use logic on these people.
💯 truth
i think abandonment is also an empath/echoist thing not a narccisistic fear, Yes Narcissists fear abandonment because you cannot be the supply no more and feel you are getting away. people must understand that waiting for a text is not a bad thing, feeling ignored is a human fear
Clarice ❤️❤️
#9 Money
Let he who has no sin cast the first stone.
Their image!!! How people see them!!
If they fear abandonment then why do they abandon people?
The Narcs will leave you before you get the chance to leave them.
New supply .... New juice ...... New victims ...... New persona !!
your question is not question, they fear being abandonment, but never care abandon others
Exactly, they so darn mean that they push u away, and then when we do pull back cuz of their meanness they blame on us, ya their brains arnt right
They will abandon you if they feel you are becoming problematic by beginning to understand their mo…they want to abandon you before you abandon them…
Cowardy Custards
He worries about me talking to my FRIENDS about him but he tells his co-workers everything about us, sure
Double Standards. That is the Narcissist's code of conduct.
They are irrationally worried that they will receive the ugly treatment they give to others.
She told me she didn't care what people think of her.
I don’t think anyone likes to be the butt of anyone’s bullying??
Donald Tump Jr. picture perfect
My ex narc gf has been abandoned by her father and I know of 3 ex bf including me that walked out on her ‘ she’s way to damaged to ever be happy with anyone .now on new supply with her 3rd child with 3 different men including my son
& u gotta flat out disrespect them
These people vomit word salad every time you call them out
💯 % my ex!
But we’re all afraid of abandonment really.
Is this something you worry about everyday? And who are you afraid of abandoning you and why? These are questions you need to ask yourself.
@@ExposingtheNarcissist : Oh I see. Never would I ever have conceived of him walking out one morning, never coming back, never telling me, divorcing me, after 39 yrs married. He needed the (his) upper hand, his control, his decision.
Heidi Ramirez
Narcissists are the worst kind of people. My ex narc didn’t take me to the ER during two medical emergencies (sooo many other things he did) but came crying to me like a baby when he had food poisoning and I still took care of him like an imbecile.
We live and learn.🙏
Yes how he can keep 3 supply and you too 🙏
That's my wife 100%
Their always playing the victim for the evil things they do that's a fact
Ame
What if they stay out all night
You tell them your done
Don’t come back
Holy sht, I'm a narcissist in some ways. I'm not out to be the best, or want attention, but I desire recognition of work well done This is military training and coming home to a new world. I will not cheat people, but I hate being embarrassed or made fun of. I am indeed easily offended and I will expose people for their faults, though I will not desire to manipulate or control. I just want people to do their fare share. I literally hate attention all on me, though I hate being judged in the slightest. Make a video on how to practice being a better person!!
The thing with personality disorders is that everyone exhibits these characteristics to an extent. It’s when the intensity of these attributes reaches levels that are untenable and dysfunctional that there’s a problem. The fact that you have enough self-awareness to post this comment probably means you are under clinical levels of narcissism.
Also, I don’t know your personal history (none of my business), but from some of what you are saying, you might have some trauma or/and an overly developed inner critic.
If a narcissist is watching this video. Focus in yourself, forget about other people's opinions and go into therapy please. The list of things you people worry about it enough to cause you depression/ anxiety
Phew.. it must be exhausting to be superior to, the fairest of the land and the winner of all wars.
Those traits are also characterized as being a Karen.