How to Trigger a Narcissist's Shame and Shut them down
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 26 июн 2024
- Master Coparenting with a Narcissist:
emotionalabuserecovery.com/sp...
chapters
00:00 introduction
00:36 The most commonly given advice
01:33 Use their shame driven nature !
02:30 Understand the Narcissistic personality dynamics
04:16 HOW TO DO IT ?
05:57 SAY THIS to instantly trigger their shame !
07:55 Don't do this all the time ( imp )
09:24 You mustn't forget to do this !
10:58 Workshop Announcement !
11:23 What can be said to trigger their shame ?
Master Co-parenting With A Narcissist:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/specialoffer
Thank you, Danish!
Thank you so much ❤❤
Bless you please make more videos on advice ❤❤ .
My narcissist is I think mix of narcissists types please can you make video on it. It is possible that they can be mix c nar and m nar.
I would like to know how the deprivation from a narcissistic father affects a female's life and development . Deprivation of emotional support, affection, nutrition, and safety. There was more than adequate financial income . Both parents survived heavy bombardment of WW2. So intergenerational trauma.
@carmenpeters728 that's a great topic!
@@carmenpeters728 I think my father is also narc
Narc has no shame because they are drama creater
I completely agree
Yep🌊
Dear ple answers me kya ye log kud ko alone fell karthe rhthe he kya चाह कितनी be भीड़ क्यों ना हो
@@user-sf4bn9mb7x no they have lots of supply from friends and family
So true
Danish, you are doing God's work. The amount of validation and soothing feeling I get by watching your videos is next level. May God always bless you, protect you and you grow more and more in life.
Amen 🙏
❤
I fully concur. Thanks Danish, may GOD Bless you for the good that you bring into so MANY people as we transform into the people our family NEVER wanted to see US Thrive much less than to have Survived!
Indeed
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
people who haven’t been in a narcissistic relationship have absolutely no idea about sinister they are.
the most common response that i’ve gotten is “he can’t be that bad because he’s always nice to me”.
if you reverse engineer that response, it actually makes sense. narcissists will cultivate and maintain a sparkling public image, so that next to nobody will believe you when you say you have been abused behind closed doors.
in my lived experience, an excellent comeback i've used with the narcissist... when they make any ridiculous comment...respond with a blank face, no emotion, combined with "i wonder why you feel that way." it's like a tai chi move... they project their words, i dodge it, and their words go right back to them to deal with.
another 3 comeback phrases to disarm a narcissist:
1-when they put you down: "that's your opinion of me."
2-when they accuse you of feelings you don’t have: "how you think is not my responsibility."
3-when they twist the story: "we obviously remember things differently."
here's one way to call out a lying narcissist, is a comeback like this: "there is no need to LIE if we are trying to FIX what’s going on here! lying simply prolongs the drama."
here's some reverse psychology you can try: when a narcissist makes an accusation, comeback with "i don't know what you're talking about, you'll have to explain."
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Exactly! They cant explain anything. I used to ask them for any examples and he didnt have even one for what he was acusing me. He would just quickly change the topic while his body and voice been shaking.
Absolutely spot on! Adding to my list. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻💖
@@klejjxd agreed. narcissists are insecure bullies and petulant cowards when called out.
all the best.
-cheers, steven
@helpinyerdasellavon thanks for your kind words.
wishing you all the best.
-cheers, steven
⚠️❤️Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is Jesus coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤️🥹
Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤️He loves you like crazy! ❤️🥹 What saves us is trust in what He did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤️
I’ve found you trigger a narcs shame they get violent
Yes
😫
Agreed. Mine attempted to strangle me. Psychotic. I was having a serious conversation with him about getting clean off of dr☆gs because it was the hard stuff. I was scared for him. That was how he "repaid" my deep concern.
Edit: Yes, we are divorced and live apart. There was law involved, etc
I think this works with covert narcs...
@@AngieDeAguirre they don’t have respect for anyone.
6:30 "They image everything". They also imitate people. Their speech, mannerism, body movements, facial expression, dressing. etc
Yes.They imitate other people.to such an extent.its a joke😂
@@uwenebotha1594He watches someone explaining or commenting on a subject over and over and over...then talk about it like it's his idea or his way of thinking 😂😂😂
Yes.He does the same here😅
V true, I just escaped one such person was absolutely a psychotic experience, initially I didn't understand they copied my accent etc started wearing clothes like mine, shoes but now I understand
Yes.They do.😮
🎯 I will only talk to you when you can talk to me as an adult
I’ve tried things like this many times. At first it works, but then he just threw it back at me, and either started an argument or something else.
It’s a great idea, but as every good thing with a narcissist, it doesn’t last.
Maybe works in a professional setting with much luck. But any child trying this will get their hearing abilities slapped out of them
They have zero shame and the worst is that they think they have every right to destroy if the words are not what they expected to hear
They are FULL of shame! That's why they need supply every second of the day to cover it.
No, they are afraid of shame, they don't want the rest of the people to learn how evil they are is part of their games.
No one asks whether learning Jiu Jitsu or Taekwondo makes you a violent person or a criminal yourself. But you learn this to defend yourself against a violent person or criminal if you are in a situation you can't walk away from. So thank you
Danish you are a blessing. Shalom
I found using a knowing smile or a slight smirk without further explanation to be quite effective too.. just glance knowingly & half smile then turn away & never adress the issue...drives them mad🤣😂
Unfortunately smiles or laughter with the particular one drove him to rage. It escalates with some and over the top reaction.
My husband and I live with his elderly parents, his Dad is a vile narcissist. My favorite phrase that my husband employs with his Father when he is spewing rage is," Are you sure this is how you want to handle this?" I have seen him deflate many situations with this phrase.
I am a narc magnet and now a narc detector.... I also can't help provoking them haha
Now that I’m aware, I get a buzz out of saying NO to simply anything they want. In company they’re forced to smile blandly but beware behind closed doors!!😆
@@alectrona1613 lol that's funny
It sure is funny.... lolol....
My peace has the first priority in my life. It isn't funny to provocate conflict. There're to much of them in the world. I just take distance from them and if I can't I play the grey rock. They need the dopamin of conflicts. I don't give them any. No reaction, no games, no provocation. Peace and love.
@@lizielita you are right I and 85% with you... I have to admit there id a small element I can't figure out if I want revenge or to show them to the world I think it's a bit of both more to show people
This is so helpful, Danish. You're so right. Narcissists use shame attacking their victims only to get their supply while we aim trying to stop their abuse defending our personal boundaries, not to hurt the narcissist, huge difference. Because they think they're perfect and know it all, I've also told them: "Since you're perfect and know it all, I honestly wasn't expecting such behaviour from you" with a calm tone in circumstances when leaving or ignoring them was not possible, more than one have shut up and suddenly left the room. The goal is to keep focused on the subject, topic or problem rather than making it emotional or personal as that's what they're after. The least we engage emotionally or personally with them, the better. Thank you 🙏🏻
I did that with a narcissist friend..we haven't spoken again...
Yes, I did this with a narcissistic niece. We, too, have never spoken again, and she then told others that she wasn't communicating with me, because I had "crossed boundaries." Haha. Narcissists know the lingo alright. Too bad they can't walk the talk.
Congrats. You are better off. Nothing good can come from any relationship with these empty, childish, pathetic people.
I as well lost my bff of 50 years from highschool. We no longer talk because of her narcissistic behavior.
You name it
They will blame it !
💯🔥❤
💯🔥❤ DITTO
Thank you. It's heartbreaking that I have to deal with a narcissist because we have two children. Can't wait to see them employed and fully independent young adults living their lives away from him. He is such a manipulative jerk that's trying to turn them against each other and both of them against me (a b***ch that dared leave him) but they are clever young people aware of the situation.
Danish, Thank You. Today early we were driving to the store ( I try to avoid getting in the car and at one point I was walking 7 miles everyday to buy food) He was doing the normal verbal abuse and I said calmly what would your Father do if he heard you just now? Silence. It's exhausting to maintain calm all the time. Try to master your emotion. I'm 10 years in and it's hard. Wish all the best and love to all of you because you are not alone.
Your not alone too😊Just find a way to get away from him please. You CAN do it!!!💪🏾🌹Blessed 🐝
Please 🙏 try to leave! NOT worth giving Your energy & let NEGATIVITY grow! 🤷Try Atlant is SCA LAR . Contact her , she is in yt & has web site as well.. Blessings 🙏🕊️🌟
If the individual you are dealing with has gone past Narcissism, into full Psychopathy, triggering their shame can produce a uncontrollable, violent rage and physical attack.
They are very very dangerous
Better avoid them and not indulge in their dramas
My narc (my fake spouse) got angry waiting on a valet at a hotel, and he stepped on the gas to go back around. When he almost ran over a valet, my daughter and I screamed, "Look out!" Then he shouted, "Shut the fuc* up! Shut the fuc* up, dam*!" I figured he'd say, "Wow! Thank you. I could have hurt that guy."
This happened to me and I was attacked. 100% correct.
Yup, depends on the mental state of the narc/psychopath. If you know they won't kill but throw a fit to play 'the role' then study that to survive. Keep yourself pure.
But if they go off the edge then look for moments of them being distracted and or routines and get away fast.
Not worth staying for that, others should be freed from them too (kids).
@@tammyhollis1519 Think of great athletes in moments when quick wits and precision are called for in that instance they fall back on past great experience and proceed with confidence and perform.which becomes ingrained..its quite the opposite in that driving experience..nothing but lack of preparation and failure causes panic and blame shifting and ultimately catastrophe..which becomes ingrained
After nearly running down a poor cyclist, my narc husband blamed the cyclist, the car, the road and finally me, who was completely silent up until the near accident! 😅
When I calmly pointed out that none of this was true and he would have ended up in jail, he went crazy.
After parking the car, he locked the car before I could get the shopping out. Then the silly, immature creature with no ego strength bolted up the road. It's bum going uphill at top speed as so comical that I couldn't stop laughing😂😂
😂 😁💕
They rarely miss an opportunity to expose themselves for the truly ludicrous beings they are. Im glad you enjoyed that moment.
😀If he has been behaving like that all of his life to people I feel bad for you and the rest of his family. On the other hand after selling someone a vehicle while knowing full well it is a recall given how dangerous it is to drive already at 30 miles an hour speed I am sure both the narcissist and the used car delearship he works for and on top of that the company who built them all too each and every time they find out that someone was almost killed or killed while driving it in the city would be doing the exact same thing concerning the driver, the signs on road and any passengers present in that vehicle at the time instead of maybe the other driver of other vehicle in the accident instead while only at best saying to themselves, "We already told them all so." After some government agent from the crown long ago had insisted that a family man changes both his first and last name if he wants to get a paid job which isn't working in the military all of his life while taking away his children for good to be sent into a residential school until he finds one where nobody knows his true birth name then I am sure all thinking in the same train of thought following in the foot steps of that government agent and the crown long ago when often misdiagnosing the descendants of that family man with this and that might go so far as saying it is the whole fam damily from time immemorial who is at fault not the average guy at 50 during a midlife crisis after losing much of his eyesight to the welding all day lights and the losing a lot of his hearing too at work in the blue colar job he was sent to instead of only ever allegedly being according to the same in the past only a good for nothing gypsy instead. If it is only a midlife crisis taking Danish Bashir's advice while looking after your own health may start making him wonder if he should be for example going for an eye test and a hearing test too. Sometimes after going through a bad relationship for awhile some people in their twenties act like they are already in a midlife crisis for awhile until realizing how much they have to heal from instead of getting a putting them down reaction often from others.
❤you are só precious in your description! You just described my own husband NArC!!! I dó, and I'm sure Millions of others will appreciate!❤
If only there was another person in the car and they said something like
."Dude, you really sh*t the bed on that one...Where did you get your license?..in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box..I ve seen better driving from Muchael J. Fox EDIT :go ahead .. laugh..remember Michael mostly did comedy..yeah I know, i know ,...as opposed to me
I agree with you Danish. We must create our internal boundaries and integrity before we can calmly show the narcisist , basically, the truth of how absurd their behaviour is.
exactly!!! when they come for supply, create pain and break their pleasure game 💯
Not able to use. This narc I live with, not romantic, is psycho and has come at me with abuse twice. Now have lock on bedroom door, wear key as Safety Necklace - never take off and always lock door. I appreciate you Danish. Another beautiful spirit helping us rising Phoenixs. Bless you 🙏
I believe the "grey-rock" method works.
Distance yourself from the misbehaving person or be unresponsive. If you do have to contact them, show no emotion. No yelling, arguing, or anything like that. Don't even defend yourself.
Mine was so nuts that he would follow me everywhere still trying to fight. Then he would start the threats of harming pets, calling my dad to lie to him, evicting me, and on and on until I would have to call the police, who he would then lie to. If I tried to leave, he would block my car. If I succeeded in leaving, he would be even worse when I got back, or he would pack all his stuff and disappear to backup supply for several days, blaming me all the way. He would also leave on the occasions I had to call the police and then blame me, saying I left him no choice because I called the police, when he was the instigator of everything. He was so bad near the end that he started rehearsing fabricated stories he was going to tell the police if I didn't obey him, or if I had to call them. I wish recording without consent were legal in my state, because that would have led to a very different outcome for him. And as I've posted a few times already in other videos, when I told him I wasn't going to participate in his fight, he would often call me a hypochondriac. He had no idea what the word meant but kept using it, thinking it made him sound smart, when it did just the opposite.
@@Jen-nc7fg If you aren't able to record him maybe you could write down notes of all the problems he caused you. Maybe that is permissible in some states. I believe a lot of narcissists truly have low self-esteem. If they behave uncontrollably, it is best to try to stay away from them for long periods of time. Sometimes, staying away for short time periods may do the job. Sometimes, you may have to stay away for a longer time. With some narcissists, they understand action better than words.
I'm not telling you are narcissist is like a dog. That is very disrespectful. Please don't misunderstand me. With a dog, it doesn't particularly understand english. Dogs understand repetitive behavior. You can speak to a dog all day long. If you don't train your dog in a particular way, it won't understand you. What I understand, some narcissists understand some consequences. If you keep leaving when a narcissist acts wild, there's a possibility some narcissists will improve bit by bit. We have to understand that many narcissists have low self-esteem. Some may act very childish. One of the best ways to deal with a narcissist is no reaction and distance.
No arguing.
No defending yourself.
No smiling or laughing.
No frowning.
If you do have to communicate with them, say as little words as possible and go on with your day. I believe doing this will frustrate them so much. It's not that you want to frustrate them. You just want the bad behavior to stop. If you feed into their bad behavior, what do you believe is going to happen? More than likely it will remain or get worse.
Grey rocking would not matter in my situation. He had a loud voice and loved to YELL. I used to look at him and think "What a moron!" Oh, he was big and bad yelling at me.
The best. Peace and love.
"When you know how to talk to me/act like you got some sense let me know". Straight after this walk away Or go into grey rock mode if you cant live until they behave in a suitable way for you.
"Besides throwing tantrums and ..... What else you got going for yourself"
"If you keep...., im gonna be forced to..."
"I will not be disrespected". Then simply walk away for good or until they grovel back to you.
Also note that this all should be done with you in mind. Defend yourself internally before you even say any of this stuff externally because they are trying to create horrible Narratives about you internally and externally. So defend yourself internally and externally because if you dont their narrative will dominate yours, which will live you with faulty perceptions, faulty decision making and faulty habits. This is how Narcs keep you trapped
So inside your mind your mind you can say "He/she is allowed to have their opinion, i know my truth". Demonize them in your head to keep yourself sane. "I get to decide whats best for me, thats not up to(narcissist name). Do this with all Narcissists/Toxic People In General, Colleagues, Coworkers, Parents, Teachers, Bosses Etc. Hope This Helps.
Amazing advice, Danish. They always feel entitled to disrespect and exploit their victims and we're on our own right to defend our personal boundaries. "I will discuss the issue when you behave like a decent adult" is useful. The calmer you remain, the more it exposes their crappy behaviour. Also avoid explaining yourself in an argument with them as they see it as a weakness they can use against you. Remaining emotionless using short and sharp sentences in 3rd person limits significantly their chance to get their supply. Mindfulness meditation is helpful to gain awareness, focus, clarity, strength and self control. Thank you 🙏🏻
"There's something on yer bum" is a funny way to stop them suddenly 🍑😳😅
I called my ex a baby husband and he almost brought down the roof, Danish God bless you am so blessed come across your page
Baby husband 😂
The only way I control my narcissistic husband is to have my cell phone on hand and threaten him to call 911
Get out! 😳
Some people live in an illusion to hide themselves from the truth.
God bless you and your family! I was on my way to this! You helped me so much to love myself the way I deserve! I'm still "testing" (LOL). Everyone here on the comments, to whom are true, my love to you all too! xoxo
It is really hard to leave if you share a house with them, first I spend an insane amount of time selling my belongings (computers, games, instruments such as piano, valuables) because I don't want to leave him anything. Also the rent where I live is is not cheap. I am really trying to clean out most of my hard earned stuff before getting out.
Stated differently: trigger cognitive dissonance within the narcissist. I love it!
I really find big comfort and clarity in your words as u give life to my hellish experiences through your videos- something I find hard to word out and something that not everyone can understand
The Narcissist is always making your life hell. To give some discomfort back to them allows them to experience what we do. Otherwise they'll have no clue. This is the best channel about Narcissists, so sad Danish is the best because of first hand experience. I finally broke free, it's something I should've done years ago. It's my mother who is the Narcissist
Hi Danish,
I think my mother was a Narcissist No matter what my sisters and I were going through, the only thing that mattered to her was how it was going to make her look in society. I have since had a narcissistic husband, who I did love, and currently a narcissitsic boyfriend who I do not love. He has made me see more clearly the impacts of narcissistic behavior on me because I don't love him. This is all hitting me like a tone of bricks. People throw around the term, Narcissist, so causally, but they cause such serious damage- how does one heal?
D
With NPD affecting less than 3 percent of the population I find it pretty amazing that so many people believe that they are in a relationship with a narcissist. I think those people should start looking at themselves to find out why they blame their problems on others.
I highly doubt it's just 3 percent. How many of these people get official diagnoses?? They don't even think they have problems let alone go to a psychologist and get a diagnosis. And now kids growing up with social media, you think it's still 3 percent??
Have done the “I wonder what so and so will think about this” and did get an angry but eventual compliance-that was an ex. I never realized that this was a technique. Yes. It did work. My narc sister said in an email after several that were slanderous, belittling, shaming and blaming. “I know that I have been a good sister to you but you do not want to see it that way”. She further went on to say “Your head is spinning out of control…You are so filled with hatred and jealousy…you will not find your answers in a church but when you decide to look into yourself and change.” Huh?
I just block, ignore and move on with my life as if they've never existed 😊
Thank you 🙏 for acknowledging that leaving is simply not an option for many people! There is no one online who approaches coaching narcissistic victims from this angle long term as a serious reality check.
Hi Danish. Thank you. Love your work. I couldn't use the above techniques. I gave him a false sense of security. I was so vulnerable, I would never dream of leaving. He felt emboldened and and created a public scene which gave me my way out. He is most unstable. I needed to be patient 🙏 please ladies, don't endanger yourself or your children ❤
I just escapee one cause I m pretty independent, talking to a friend who was going thru divorce help me recognize the pattern, listening to you is a relief that I took all the right steps in time. You should really spread it lile an awareness program
Successful in eyes of others and so insecure.. Was really unbelievable
Thanks alot for informing & giving worthy advice.I have been able to decide, divorce monster & protect my lovely daughters who went through so much mental & physical trauma.I have been able to get rid of disrespectful narcissist ex husband who has been destroying us & took custody of my lovely daughters.I have been able to gain control of myself,my daughters ,got out of financial crisis created by narcissistic family,rage environment created by toxic ex husband & in laws through your worthy guidance.May ALLAH pak bless you and our court system esp.my lawyer & concerned judges.It' s really very hard to get rid of such toxic predator.
"How about we talk about this when we both can behave like grown-ups."
So beautifully explained and complicated! Validating in any case! Everything you say is right here. I would use different words. The narcissists I have had the misfortune to have to have contact with, worse yet rely on, feel no shame only rage. I think the reaction is that they are angry with themselves for not being in complete control, ESPECIALLY if someone is watching that they didn’t notice or think significant. Thank you!
“When you can no longer deny your lies, cheating, gaslighting and manipulation you attack and rage at your victim like a spoilt child.”
More content like this one, please. More such educated suggestions about how to shut down a raging narcissist and stop them in their tracks. Thank you as always.
This 👆👆👆
You are a real empath who is talking about narc abuse, there are many other doctors and videos available (deep down I feel they are the narcs who is giving all these talks about themselves to lash out their negativity as if they are doing some social service doing those videos - it doesn't feel right and authentic) but yours - hats off!
God bless you sir for giving the idea of how to be safe from a narciccist I'm completely tied by staying with a narciccist husband i and my son We fall sick every now and then don't know when I and my son will be free from him so painful life its very difficult to stay with with this type of people whole day blames fights have no words how much we are tied
In other words is about making you up and their down in the relationship dynamic. The opposite of what normally happens.
One Day I will meet you and that is the promise. I don't think you realize how much you have helped me. Since January 2021. I Love you so much and Jehovah brought you in my life. I Thank you...❤❤❤
I only witnessed my narcissistic ex feel shame maybe three times in the 11 years we were together all three times he did the exact same thing he put his hands over his eyes like a little kid and literally ran out of the room and hid from me it was absolutely incredible
It's not the action.. it's the reaction that seperates normal and abnormal people. And we all know how healthy individuals and narcisstic people react differently to shame as well. Their apologies are the most shallow and hollow things existing on earth with absolutely no purpose at all.
Thank you for this information 💛
I sent my narcissistic neighbours into hiding, then they moved and rented out thier house during the middle of a court case we filed. We then went back to court and granted an order to send documents to them via email.
smooth, clear, and beautiful... Thank you!
Thx Danish! These tips are super helpful 😇
If their old and have health issues and they rage say you’ll have heart attack. It works
Thank you Danish, for all your advice and the time you use o make these videos. You are very helpful.
Fantastic advice, as always
Thank you, Danish.
You are so right!
The opposite of within is: outside of you or publicly. Without means: "nothing" or "without anything". Nevertheless, your Englisch is really good. ❤
I like to give my severely narcissistic sister the underlying feeling that I just might screenshot her childish rants against me in chat and share them with those she respects. I never would share them, because it would be very petty, but I like to subtly give her the feeling that I might, and that she is being watched or even recorded.
bro ur channel is amazing love u bro
Just excellent today. Thank you💚
I was struck by my narcissistic partner, once will be always.
For example, I found that my husband was cheating on me. He knew that I knew. This afternoon when he told me that one of his workmate was to be married, I said:” Wish her best luck.” He walked away without a word.
You still have sex with your husband?
Brilliant idea. I will use this advice.
I found out the hard way that each narcissist has a different value system. Most exist in communal narcissism with that value system of theirs. The difference is how often they can move from one communal narcissism setting to a stated different one as if they did nothing wrong in the last one while leaving a trail of destruction behind them which our Lord called rotten fruits.
Ingenious. I will try it.
Who's ready for round one? Didn't know about the secret mentor/publicists?
Thank you Danish🙏from South Africa
excellent thank you
I am not sure if the narcissists feel shameful of themselves, to be honest. If they really feel shameful, they wouldn’t do any evidence deeds to others.
Bottom of many barrels,and getting to another bottom of another an another ad-nauseum........🙀
Hi Danish. My problem is meeting narcissistic friends. It will be good if you can talk about narcissistic friends . How to spot their behaviour so we can avoid getting close to them.
I have known this person for 40 years and only did I realise that she's a narcissist after listening and learning from watching your videos. It's something she did to me when she came back to my country for a holiday that triggered me she's a narcissist. I hope I am right .
Thank you.
I called my sibling a narcissist and they walked home to then text me a rageful insulting text LOL
Yes, Danish, more videos like this. Tactics on the game.
Thank you. I am using the sentance: " this conversation ends now! And wake outside to my matters. Also not responding to each Gaslyiting!(gray rock).i wish to learn from you how to stand infront shouting and rage.❤Thank you
I've handled my narcissistic mother and sister by telling them the *truth*. Oh boy, a narcissist hates that! I'll take it for awhile. The berating or whatever. Fine. But in my mind I'm strategizing.
They've been mean to me since forever. I don't say something back all the time. I stay silent. Not because I'm scared or don't know what to say. Oh, I know what to say. I just wait. Maybe it's in the present conversation. Maybe it's in a later one about the same thing. But I'll say something.
I make sure I use a low-key voice, concentrate on my body language and remain calm, and make my comment short and to the point.
The comment has to be relevant to the subject. No going off on a wild tangent.
I use their truth against them. They can't disagree. They have to face it. And thankfully it shuts them up. For the meantime. Might have to do it again. Depends on them.
❤thank you gor your guidnace
My narcissistic boss corners me when no one is around and unleashes the most over the top childish tantrums: clenched fists, red face, screaming, wind-milling arms. I want to say to her: "Everyone sees how you treat people. Everyone knows you're the bully, not the victim." And "I wish you could see yourself right now, how your face changes when you throw these tantrums. You turn into a gargoyle." (She's really vain about her appearance.) I want to video her and stream it live.
Let them monologue about how they're the victim. Wait for the right moment, and then ask if they hear how they're talking. And then tell them they're embarrasing themselves.
He ends up making me the bad one 😢
My narc brother is an empty vessel. His whole being is a mirror of his father. If I say “your father hated you” he’s destroyed. And I get a few weeks of peace.
I think the crux in this lies in what you say in the end: the technique is best used once your nervous system has healed. I’m afraid most of us are far away from that. How you could master that while still being around the narc is a mystery to me.
You are right but you didn’t consider work situation where people would feel trapped because they need a job and it’s hard to find another one. This is where I found the most abusive/ bullying behaviour from the narcissists. How can do shame them while they have great influence on your job?
Ur making them too good to have shame, they are shameless individuals, at least the one I dealt with 😅
Danish, could you please do a video on this: I left my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago. I haven't pursued divorce yet because we have an underage child... I am keeping the peace. I'm getting hoovered ever since he realized the anger and other tactics didn't work. My question: he's being perfectly nice and charming ever since I left. I stay grey or yellow rock and I wonder this: is he feeling resentment because he's having to work so hard for so little supply? He invites me to lunch and pays. He offers to help in ways he never did while we were together. How must he feel with so little payout?!
Thanks for all your informative videos! Cheers, Chris
At some point, they've criticized all of their flying monkeys and supplies. To them, their image is everything. If you say it as a comment to yourself that you will threaten these third parties with truths or whatever, they will freeze. They can't really protect their fanbase. Remember to make it obvious that you're recording.
What a video wow I wish you would have been around during my 17 yr marriage to this crazy man
Yes
Just divorced mine but found out that he can be charged for sexual assault. He threatened and coerced me since two weeks after giving birth. Threatened to kill himself 3 different times I tried to file for divorce.
Once he got a new supply, he told me to pack my bags and get the eff out.
Do I file charges for sexual assault?! He has continued to call me a whore and a slut throughout divorce.
Decisions. Decisions.
If the divorce is done leave it in the past. Avoid damage, stress and injury to your life. Visit your local police to discuss any possible ongoing harassment & threats of self injury, so they can conduct wellness checks. Keep all communications documented and follow their instructions. Invest in a home security camera. If you ever feel in danger or threatened, leave immediately and stay with friends or family. Determine if relocation is required and listen to your instincts.
He will love if you try to press charges. He’s most likely been waiting for you to do that. Then comes all the things he’s been collecting on you. Whether true or false. Be happy you are out. God bless you!
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger my life has already been damaged. So tired of people saying just leave. It’s done. No it isn’t. He is currently and has for the last 23 years broken the law. It’s about time they pay. And he has nothing on me. I have years recorded and counselors notes of him admitting to rape.
@@KingdomWoman333 The times of women just being glad to get out alive should be over. He has nothing on me. But he committed spousal rape and domestic abuse for 23 years. I want justice. Not to just survive the abuse.
@@DKilgallen beloved if you have evidence do what you know is necessary. God bless you!
Yeah they don’t like being called immature.
I wonder ,what happened if a narcissist see this video,he may come to know how to reply when a victim corner them😢
I thought about doing this but tbh I doubt if this will work with my mum, seriously...but thanks for the idea tho, I never heard of a Narc losing...
Pls make episode in Hindi. Pls sir.vety grate ful to you.very important point you share.gratitude ji
My community including authorities enabled him go Queensland go 👍
He blocked me so i blocked him and focused on myself and my kids. Ive left them in the hands of karma
Ive done it and he comes back 20 x harder
That's them trying to break your spirit- power control and manipulations always the main goal