My son got me out of the trauma bond, I ended up in an auto accident, 6 months recovery,, and 2 years to get my head straight! My son is my best friend. Kids are important, can't wait for my daughter to move closer! 💕
The unconsciousness of the narcissistic always feels undeserved entitlement to whatever they want, no matter what they've done or who they hurt, I've seen no remorse except for when someone doesn't give them their way
It's like never taking out the garbage....Sure at 1st you may be able to get away with it but come back a while later & see/smell what the living conditions are like🤢.
@RobinSpeer That is absolutely true! I dated a woman(7mos. older than me) who was 3yrs into a stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis. This was before I learned about narcissism, so I tried to enrich her life. Including helping her quit cigarettes. I had never met someone who was so angry, delusional, and ungrateful. After 3mos together, she grew frustrated with me, and started to devalue & triangulate me against her ex bf. I had already began learning about narcissism, and recognized the red flags, so I disappeared on her. I've been free of her for 14mos. I've spoken with ppl who have known her for almost 20yrs and after sharing my observations with them, they have all told me her narcissism has only grown worse not only as she's grown older, but esp. since she received her terminal diagnosis. now, and life has gotten so much better since leaving her.
Agree... Because chances are you'll pick another one.. I have a friend who's on her 3rd abusive husband... She leaves one then picks the same personality in different skin for the next one..
Very wise, i managed to steer clear of dating for a decade but eventually ran into another by default! Back to the peace and liberation of independence and solitude. Good luck!
Never try to make it work with a narcissist. It doesn't work. A narcissist will never change. It doesn't matter how much someone serves a narcissist with love and dedication, he'll never love the other person.
I worked in skilled nursing facilities for 20+ years. They’ve run off most of their family, they are helpless, and they lash out at staff. I didn’t know the label of Narcissist then. We called them spirit suckers.
Ummm…make sure you aren’t labeling dementia and Alzheimer’s patients this way. They truly can’t help their behavior. It’s not narcissism for them but brain death.
Spirit Sucker is quite accurate, unfortunately they do more than just sucking other's spirits, they literally tried to poison their soul and those who pitied and helped them
It's weird. Why have kids if you're just going to feel jealous and tear them down? Your job as a parent is to help your kids live confidently in this crazy world. This man had to wade through a lot of confusing BS with his dad 🙁
I grew up in a house with two neurotic parents. My dad just had anxiety issues, but my mom is a narcissist. Now that my dad has passed, mom is a real handful !
U r a good parent. My mom didn't want me to grow in my career and she devastated me last december by beating me ad yelling loudly like a monster. We stayed in a hotel room. She create so much fuss that the hotel men called and reminded us to leave the next day. Even today, I can't sleep at nighty, always crying and fearing for everything. She used bad words in front of my dad and my little daughter. She thinks herself to be an angel down to earth. After that she blocked me in whatsapp and not at all talking to me. She made my dad too to hate me saying more lies about me. I sent a message that I will end my life. For that message also there is no reply from them. Now I am 40 years old and she is 67 years. She is very jealous on me and my kid😢
I grew up with 2 malignant narcissist, there is not only envy or jealously from them, but hate too. Imagine we were 6 kids, 2 were the golden child and 3 scapegoats, yes! Just because 1 scapegoat wasn't enough for their big ego, the 2 golden child were supported by them, with money and school, even inherited in life from them, the others we are surviving and barely making our needs done, among siblings we don't have a good relationship since our parents always instigate hate and competition for their "love" between us .. I can keep writing the damage done, but thanks God I have been recovering , i am the only one aware of all this in my family the rest ended up being narcs too. So sad, so damaging these demons in flesh should not reproduce, they only destroy the life of their kids, do you wanna hear something even worst? My hometown it's infested with narcs too, and these narc family dynamics are very common there, so i do believe narcissism it's genetic
my mother had kids to keep my Dad with her otherwise she a*b*or*ted, she told me (5x)...........she made fun of me and my sister for our appearance of being unhealthy and not cared for, she would wipe our faces with sour dish rags (old days, they used rags to wash dishes) and she was never comforting or nice to us, merely mocked or made fun of our unhappiness. she did let molestation happen (denied it but over and over it happened to all of us) and denied that her dad was a molester *but both her sisters said he did and their mother told them, "you are on your own as he brings in the $$$$"). and so on. crazy jealous and competitive, I think she hated women.....and had no respect for them. she was always after everyone's man *husband, mate. but she also emasculated men if they married her. my Dad left her when she bragged in a fight *which was often and violent, that the child she was carrying was not HIS child and so he left with us. sooooo soooo jealous and hated me. they are out there, trust me.@@Here4TheHeckOfIt
It is so true...Even with all their taking, they are still unbelievably miserable with insanely raging egos. They have no internal peace and their hearts are devoid of love. They're always on a hair trigger to have their world collapse by anyone's even well-meaning comments. That's got to be the worst existence imaginable!
@@Solscapes. The universe has a way of balancing all things. Just because you don't see justice doesn't mean there's been justice denied. If your mother is like mine, its the appearance of doing fine they really care about. They are so competitive they can't even get along with one another (they have acquaintances, not real friends),, can't eat out without someone spitting in their food, to die badly. Some would say that because they reject any introspection and live an unexamined life, they've had lives not worth living. Live in the truth!
They are.. They open a door to the demonic world because of how they treat people. Pray when interacting with them every time if you can’t have no contact..
As a nurse, I can tell you they all die ALONE. No family members will be with them.The only ones there at their passing are the medical personel. Incredibly sad.
Thank goodness their families found the strength to leave and build safe lives for themselves. People don't get a free pass on abuse just because they're dying. The only sad thing in that situation is how nasty those people must have been and the trauma they must have inflicted on their families for it to get to that point. I hope their victims found peace. For myself, I won't know when my abusers pass. I went no contact 3 yrs ago after yet another attempt on my life. It was long overdue. Maybe they'll find someone to be there for them in their final hours, but it certainly won't be me.
Helen .that must be Draining . Generally very exhausting mentally and physically because I am sure they must be demanding your attention all through yet others need to be attended.
My dad was obsessed with my physical strength. He would insist to start arm wrestle games with me. At one point I started going to the gym and became much stronger, I kept avoiding having arm wrestles with him after that because I knew I would win and that would devastate him. But one day he insisted so much, mocking me and calling me gym boy that I accepted it, as expected I won without even trying. As expected also, he got so mad at me for winning, started making snarky bitter remarks, oh you might have won but you still have a fat belly, your spine is still crooked, you have the hunchback of a loser. When I was your age I had a six pack, I was so good at sports .... etc. Back then I felt guilty for hurting him, nowadays over 25 years later I think, what kind of father wants their children to be weaker than them and gets mad when finds out they are not? A narcissistic father.
@@Here4TheHeckOfIt They compete with their own kid, because their entire life is lived by making sure others feel "less than." Even their own children. Which is why the age-ing narcissistic parent, as their bodies are failing them, get meaner and meaner as they blame others for their physical decline. No accountability. Everything is OTHER people's fault. Even death and dying is caused by others......... not a natural process. Especially since it is the ultimate in loss of control.
After almost 30 years I finally figured out that instead of getting better with age and experience, they get worse! Don’t waste your life trying to make these people happy. You can’t
So agree. I could not leave for reasons which won't go into here. They do not change, have come to the conclusion they need a butterfly with endless wing's that they can rip-off daily slowly armed with the knowledge that the wings will regrow. They will never change sadly. Their victims are often silent as I became. For those of you reading these posts and young enough to leave. Please do so. My best wishes to all on here who have lived this nightmare as I did. Bless you all.
Thanks for the video!! My mother is 78 and a malignant narcissist.... She abused and neglected me as a child.... I had zero self-esteem, then was bullied in middle school because my mom wouldn't buy me any new clothes when I went through a growth spurt..... I was homeless at 17, but managed to graduate from college in 4 years with a 3.5 GPA in business and got a job in the corporate world.... I quickly married another malignant narcissist, and my children and I were abused for 14 years.... The abuse continued after the divorce, since I was trapped in a small town with no support.... I am 58 years old and am a You Tube creator ( I retired from teaching and waitress full-time) and have learned to heal and practice self-love.... I have started to speak out about my abuse ( I have a health and wellness You Tube video), and my mother and sister have turned against me, claiming that I am emotionally unstable..... I want to share my story to help others to learn to self-love and setting good boundaries....
Wow, that's an incredible life story! I see you have gone through a much of tough tiems and you want to help others by sharing yoir experience and how you dealt with problems. It's always amazing to see authentic people thrive off of their traumas and heavy problems and turned their dark times into a strength!
Your story resonates with me. I also left home at 17 with very basic qualifications and had to learn to survive. I saw myself through film school top of my year and after graduating with nothing let to prove, drove a cab for ten years. Gave it up for the stress and danger, and became a singer for ten more years. Working in entertainment I met more narcissists and backstabbers than the rest of my life put together. I changed domain providers to save money and lost my Google ranking overnight. And had no energy or desire to get it back. I'd sung the same songs for ten years and never really enjoyed doing shows, though the money was good. I lacked the true confidence, set myself ridiculously high standards and hated every performance I did bar one or two. I was on anti anxiety and antidepressant drugs. I slept all week and worked one day at the weekend. It was barely living. I sold everything and moved to France for two years, but slipped into an even deeper depression and stayed indoors with the shutters closed for the whole of August. I returned to England in the fall with barely any money left and got a job as a cycle messenger, with the idea that I would get into shape for my latter years. I also had a boyfriend half my age for a couple of years, which was an interesting experience. Cycling was the happiest I've been, earning peanuts, but the camaraderie and unconditional acceptance of the messenger community is extraordinary. Or was... Now things have changed once more. No radios. Apps. Electric cycles with legs hanging down and none of them speak English. I feel depressed again but I'm working on my music, the only thing keeping me going. I miss the riders and the life but I'm getting too old for it. I'm so glad I saw the twilight of traditional messengering. But the world now. I don't really like it. I think I'm slightly narcissistic, but not as much as my mother, and as for my sister, she's a vulnerable narcissist on steroids. I can't help her any more, I don't even know how to, and being around her ratchets up my stress levels to ten instantly. My mother is okay with me, because I was the golden child to some degree. I really like that you became a waitress. Doing real work for real people means more, and a simple life is the best life of all. Finally, my parents have had their health challenges, some are ongoing, and I thank God every day that I can walk and talk and sleep and do all the things I want to. But the future is for me a dark place full of shadows and dead ends. I'm 54.
What a joke should be proud of your kids doing well if not better education that you helped them gain. To know your job is done they can support themselves when you pass on.
Ikr??? Mine (the last one) is serving 5 years of a 20 year sentence. His worst fear. I take no pleasure in his self induced misery but I’m grateful he won’t be able to hurt his children or women……at least for now!!
narcissists get progressively worse with old age. mix bitterness, an increased desire to control and suppress people, manipulation, gaslighting and diseases like dementia - and just imagine what a toxic concoction that becomes. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@user-ik4sy3jo5t i wasn't writing an april fool's joke in the comment section lol. narcissists in old age are everything mentioned in the video. even worse. their nastiness is the real deal. -regards, steven
So many non narcissists think you love a narcissist into health, but all they do is take advantage. It’s important to be wise and realize they just operate in a different way.
@@user_kH9bw3ns1 Yeah, I'm dealing with a narc right now. You have to think like them. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is transactional to them. So when I feel like this person wants something or whatever, I act like the GM of a sports team and get into horse-trading mode. You get this if I get that. Drives 'em nuts, but it's impossible for him to view me as weak (they think everyone is weak) because he can smell that I'm on his level. I'm speaking his language.
I tell everyone that crosses my path do not give me an excuse to burn a bridge. I have undergone abuse from narcissists all over and through my family. I will never suffer another!!!!!
Interesting, I live by don’t dare me, the response is usually very shocking to the person who does. They have absolutely no clue I have no eff’s to give, so just try me. I guess the silver lining of childhood abuse is there is no reason to walk around bragging about how much one can endure and not break. It seems to catch many off guard🤷🏻♀️
I've burned a lot of bridges, I also have no EFFS to give. I decided in my early 20's never to put up with people's crap, life's too damn short to be miserable. In saying all of that I've got some amazing friendships that go back 55 years.
Yes, you develop lines and if people continue to cross them then that's it: short scrift and not suffering fools. We've all learned not to tolerate abuse because we have already suffered it. One positive outcome of having suffered narcissists although it takes while to develop for the gentle souls.
Well said you have been through a lot. Take no BS. Short and sweet to the point. Liked that comment Do not give me a reason to cut you out of my life. As if being burned that badly
I ended a relationship with a sadistic covert narcissist. I'm only 49yrs old, but I have absolutely no interest in being in another romantic relationship ever again. I'll be lucky if I ever mentally recover from what he did to me. I'll keep working on it, enjoying & loving my children & my friends & family and becoming the best version of myself through this journey. As for my ex, he'll live out the rest of his days looking for anyone who will have sex with him, bragging about his fancy car & talking about how cool he was in high school til the end of his days.
In the exact same situation, how do they live with themselves after the chaos and trauma they put everyone through , quite disturbing , may god help us all to never live that again
My NPD mother is 90 and I did what I could for years. She is in an Assisted Living now. Recently, she has gotten so bad with the tantrums, raging and self-centered behavior, I have gone 90% no contact. I know her AL will contact me about any medical issues, they always have. I continue to manage finances, but I have blocked her on my cell phone and I only pick up her messages when I want to every few days. There are no more social visits or nightly phone check-ins. It was simply her or my sanity. Also, I think my therapy kicked in as well to set boundaries on what I will not tolerate.
@@jbrown2908 Agree. When I hit 60 years old, I just suddenly decided that I don't want to spend another decade being verbally abused. My childhood was miserable, but she still treats me the same as she did when I was a teen and there is no talking sense to her. Believe me, I have tried. Her mother lived to be 100, so I do believe I am at risk of losing another 10 years to misery.
it's okay at this point to dive into that last 10 percent. My mother told me in an exasperated fashion, as she was dying, that she wasn't going ANYWHERE! Fine. Roam the earth as a ghost in a tattered nightie. I won't be holding any séances to help her.
My mother even abused me after she passed away. Not only did she turn all my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews against me in the 7 years prior. She refused that I attend the reading of her will as well as any gatherings during and after her funeral. I was not allowed to know anything. When I went no contact, she even made me think that my son was dead. When I was raped at the age of 16, she hit me and told me never to speak of it. And on and on, I'm surprised I am still alive. 💔
"#5 and the most disgusting behavior...". I wish i watched this video last summer. I made a HUGE mistake agreeing to staying friends with my last narc. And yes he had zero shame and remorse, and was puzzled that I saw anything wrong with his totally chasing women 30+ years younger during the short time we dated. He never saw me as his girlfriend, just his mommy. He's nuts if he thinks he'll get a cute youngster to give up their life to be his mommy. Narcs are parasitic.
Its true my narcissistic mom was very cruel to me But she says i have to take care of her in her old age I left her in her late 50s Its gives me peace when i think i don't need to take care of someone who harassed meand robbed me of my childhood
Fortunately my narcissistic mother always loved my brother and sister the most. Now she can live with either one. Went no contact 10 years ago and I don't regret it.
I did the same to my narcissist mother. I stopped seeing her, stopped, talking to her, and I stopped making any contact with her and her husband. The last time I saw them was in 1997 their probably dead by now, but if not they both would be 80 years old. My mother was never in good shape her entire life, always over weight, and lazy. Never did exercise to stay healthy. Living amongst narcissist is like living with the devil. No thanks.😇😇😇
I've been gone 5 yrs. In that time she got dimentia. My brother needs help prepping to get her in a home. I agreed to help. My compassion and understanding have me in a false belief that she won't be evil now. My body is reacting otherwise lol. It still holds the trauma and knows who I'm about to deal with. I am prepared lol.
Caretaker of a narcissistic husband dealing with dementia, Alzheimers, and he is stuck in his own “ crap” no one wants to care for him, including me as I keep discovering more and more abuses of me, he is weakened but still get his cruel remarks in. I discovered he had a blog about me for many years, where he reposted my Facebook posts and he and his cronies laughed about my “crazy’ views.
Wow.. Mines more Covert.. But everything is all about him.. He does tell his coworkers his crazy wife is a conspiracy nut.. But he kisses my butt mostly because he knows I want to leave..
That’s exactly what I went through. The” I’m stealing money from my xwife.” After going through divorce stuff I found out she siphoned off $400k from my accounts in six years time.
my own mother stole jewelry from me and when I laid my beautiful watch on the sink to bathe a baby *in her house, it "disappeared" and she and her husband were the only ones there...........but denied ever seeing it for like forever........but I believe she also took that...........bought the clothes off my back as well, had to have everything I had and to try to be "me"........ugh. I never knew, I kept trying to please her, never suspected she hated my guts............finally had to wake up..........took me years to acknowledge that she was the enemy who was always telling everyone I was horrible, horrible things (lies) to make me look bad.....it was all her.
The narc I had the misfortune of living with would try to throw my stuff away, telling me it "had to go" because I "wasn't using it." Bullied me to give them my old computer or a car I was hoping to get fixed so they could turn around and give to others to appear so magnanimous. Then, they started with nasty, digging comments insisting I was "stealing" from them, and claim I was taking _their_ stuff and money. Imagine how irate I was when this person kept doing this and then tried to pass it off as a "joke." They were told to stop lying and trying to attack me. One day, they had the audacity to blurt out, while in a giftshop owned by someone we both know, "She's a thief, she's always stealing from me!" And when he did it, everyone started looking at me weirdly as though they wondered if I might be shoplifting. I lost my temper and confronted him, demanding he stop lying for attention and apologize to me immediately for purposefully trying to humiliate me in public. I put him on the stop to embarass him for his shitty behavior. Again tried to claim he was "just joking" and I told him that only an idiot would be stupid enough to think saying that about someone in a _store_ is "funny" because it basically comes off as intentionally trying to get someone into trouble. I told him to look around and notice how everyone in the store, including the owner, felt uncomfortable and concerned. People don't say things like that unless they are trying to play mind games with people for their own, sick "entertainment." He abruptly left the store, and I apologized for his bad behavior to the owner. She said it was weird for him to say such a thing, and that she was a bit offended he did that to me. On the ride back to the house, I shared her comment with him and told him I will not tolerate his attacks on me, especially in public. We rode home in silence then. The next day, he avoided me, which was just fine. The following day, he acted like nothing had happened. Typical narc behavior.
honestly, if they do not outright steal, they find a way to get it, they have NO morals whatsoever, I have never known a narc who didn't manipulate or steal in "legal" ways to get what they want. pretending to care and all the while scamming to get the goods of this elderly woman *my old neighbor (she did get it all too). my "golden monkey" brother moved in on my mother and spent her money while saving his pension and SS and living off her for years, we were not allowed to see or visit, he turned the police away at the door as he had been a cop (not a good one but for "power") so he had a badge, and we don't even know what happened to her in the end. he was / is a narc. my niece manipulated my mother who was frail and had dementia and could be pressured, did just that, pressured her to change her will to leave everything to HER. but it's "legal", right? it says so on the paper, right? and so on and on and on. I have many, many stories and all thieves, one way or the other. "the ends justify the means" for them. no ethics, no morals at all and certainly not God.......@@thomashenshallhydraxis
My father was a narcissist too. He was a mean nasty person. He destroyed family relationships and lives. When he died we cried tears of joy and not grief. It was like being released from hell... literally.
I’m finding that true, my mother just turned 88. She no longer sees, nor talks to me. Just holiday greetings, only. It’s heartbreaking, but I finally am at peace about it.🎚⚓️
@@cca3422Same here at 50 years old. My mom is 81 but I see her maybe once a year and I no longer talk to my three siblings from what I call my ex-FOO. (Family of origin) They fly out to see me annually but they no longer invite me to the Thanksgiving or Christmas functions like they be used to because I stood up to my scapegoating siblings 8 years ago. As the saying goes, "It's better to be alone than in bad company!" It was a process that started 8 years ago and like yourself, I'm so much more at peace that I do not have fake relationships like those any longer in my life. PS--not everyone who becomes virtually alone is a narcissist. Some are SMEAR CAMPAIGNED upon SCAPEGOATS
"It doesn't make sense" was the most important sentence in this episode. I spent years trying to make sense out of the insanity coming at me, feeling like it was just barely out of my grasp, and unwilling to admit that it was just gaslighting insanity and wasn't supposed to make sense.
My narc and I could’ve had such a wonderful life. He made great money (and so did I, even though he undermined my career) and I did everything else, was a fantastic cook, great entertainer, I’m not hideous… It always blows my mind how jealous his friends were of what he had, not just me, but everything, but it was never enough. More more more gluttonous more. He took absolutely zero pleasure in simple things. Never wanted to just look at the stars, or enjoy snuggling, or doing something spontaneous. Just a lump of miserly, lazy nothing.
I'm so glad you figured that part out. For me, that was one of the hardest things to deal with... You expressed it well too! Good luck, fellow survivor!
@dontbeadogsbody3564 Years hey are empty vessels who leach onto you for a personality they don't have. Literally, I honestly think I "fell in love" with an ex because it was actually me he mimicked back at me! It was like I fell in love with my own traits! That there was never really anything there. It was all in my head, the person is thought was in front of me. It was a fraud in front of me. My mother was the same only she married him and lived with him for 40years. A man she thought loved her to the day she died,when in fact he was a fraud. Her whole life with him was a lie he wasn't the person she thought he was.
I'm glad I'm not the only one to "wish" the narcissist to pass on, I've been feeling like a horrible person. Thank you for making this video. He asked me why I'm still around, my answer was cause nobody else will put up with your bull crap! I've even told him I will train my replacement, all that did was piss him off. I walked out of the room, I have/ had other things to do.
I have a narcissist 95 Yr old mother in law, who is very spiteful and makes life hell ! the world has to revolve around her . We will get our life back when she passes on 👍
My narc DID die about a year and a half ago. I had gone no-contact ten years before but I never felt completely safe until I got the news. There was always the off chance the monster was going to pop out from behind the curtain and go after me again. Can you imagine being the person whose legacy is massive relief that you're finally dead?
I didn't want to move again but was forced to, 6 times have I since getting the boot at 17, so when asked why I stayed I replied where am I to go? Narc mom would have liked me to live with her, even inherited the house but I'm not that desperate to get away, love yourself 1st it's what's important!
@@dnwittedon't have to imagine, living it also, I fear dementia diva whose finally locked up with no phone gets one and calls, the ultimate scam artist!
This is describing my entire family of “adults.” They sucked the life out of us kids, and yet we were feeling shameful for being RELIEVED when they finally died after their long, dramatic, soap opera demise. Thank you again for exposing these fraudulent, nasty people.
After finally escaping my narcissist , I am so happy, so at peace. Not willing to get remarried because I am not willing to be a nurse or a purse to any old man. I am able to do things other people only dream about. I am working on moving to another state and plan on buying a small house. I should have enough left over to do some traveling. Dont need a man, dont want a man.
My father did the same. He even questioned my abilities as a growing boy, cursed my relationship, cheated on my mother, used trauma and extreme pain to me and my mother, abused physically and mentally day and night for years, gave us diseases, fears and all the problems of the world, and finally left us one day for another woman. This is just a part of my life.
It must be horrible. That is their ultimate goal to leave you with problems and illness. I also fought a long time to avoid my narcissistic parents make me ill but they won in part that I made a mistake with career choice, experienced unemployment in my young adult life due to the recession, being an introvert, autistic, and with ADHD that put me at a disadvantage to become financially independent. They undermined me and sought to make me ill. I am ill now but money is no longer a problem for me and they can no longer make threats of making me homeless or putting me in jail. Though I am sick now and I am recovering years of life that I lost due to them.
I saw this first hand. My wife and I helped a lonely old widow from our church and she accused us of being after her money. I couldn’t take the abuse anymore and finally left her on her on. Wish I saw this video a few years back, this old lady was exactly as described. You live you learn.
Same thing happened to me when I started helping an old neighbor lady. I started doing things for her and she kept asking me to do more for her. Her son, who only lived a mile away seldom visited her. She started yelling at me and I was finally done with her. She kept calling me leaving angry messages but I just ignored her.
People that have nobody have already burned all their bridges. It should be a red flag when they say they have no family, relatives or friends to help them.
Just to say, ...yes...my mother was jealous/envious of me. She was always ready to take away my joy ( using different methods ). I never knew what to expect daily, but...I knew it would be something. This is how millions of children live.
Some women should not be mothers. My mother was the same way. She also wanted to relive her childhood through me. When I protest and tell her no and Would stand up to her she would get histrionic even in public.
The most tragic element for a victim of a covert narcissist was not the atrocious, ungodly acts they’ve done to us. Not the gaslighting or the devious isolating. It’s the fact that we the victims believed, forgave, remained loyal and loved them regardless of their sickly manipulation. We believed that if we persistently stood tall and firm for them, they’d eventually see us for who we were and abandon their heartless behavior. That they would come to finally realize and understand the friend they had in us. Miss Daisy took a long time to see the friend she had in Hoke the chauffeur in “Driving Miss Daisy”. “Wind in his Hair” grew to understand that “Dances with Wolves” was not his enemy, but a fierce comrade he could count on and trust with his life. It finally hit Charlie Babbitt to shed his arrogance and find in Raymond an honest to goodness true brother in “Rain Man”. The covert narcissist will never have the capacity to feel or understand these beautifully human “Ah-ha”moments. All we victims have to comprehend this fact if we want to heal and become a survivor.
Very well said... My prayers are that their souls be saved and that they will look to the hills from Whence Cometh their help and know that their help comes from the Lord.... I still love my husband 😭😭😭😭
No disrespect to you under no circumstance but know that women are also narcissistic as well, It’s in both genders !! The sad thing is narcissistic people once was an innocent loving child that had to shield him/her self from some extreme trauma in order to survive in the way they only knew how to !! Suppressing every emotion or empathy in them in that thought to be safe place in there brain trapped there very being in captivity and they’ve lost who they were !! There is help for them if they can manage to mustard the ability to accept that they have a problem!! They can actually be healed through the power of the Holy Spirit where God saids it will renew the spirit and regulate the mind setting the captives free !!!!! Keep your selves safe and just pray for them !!!!!!
My narc father died a year ago, and yes, he got exponentially worse over the last years. Having so much close contact in the end brought back all the crap from my childhood I had either forgotten about or tried to put behind me. Now I feel relief instead of grief that he is gone (which creates a lot of guilt), but because I feel more damaged by trauma than I ever would have thought, I can't find peace because he lives louder in my head than he ever did when he was alive. He also managed to betray me once again with my brother's help just a few years ago -- driving a deep wedge between us -- and it seems he continues to try to shape my life from the grave, leaving a mess behind that I will probably spend the rest of my life cleaning up. These content providers and forums with people having similar experiences helps. Thanks.
Always fight in life struggle is the sign of life , worship god and then bless will come. In utter dark one match stick is enough to come out of darkness.
You have described the details of my situation exactly, except it was my mother who was this way. I don't think I will ever get over her final betrayal. I miss my brother. We were friends growing up. Of all of the things she did to me, losing my brother's love and respect was the worst. I am 61now, and glad I'm on my way out of here! She made my life hell.
You have a chance at peace now. Don't give him one more minute of your life. He took enough. He crushed you, a child sent from God. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Reclaim yourself one baby piece at a time. You can come through. Peace and prayers.
Get rid of that guilt ! My narc father died 30 years ago- he absolutely poisoned my only full sibling against me .. and for that I am sorry .she followed in his footsteps)… BUT him ? I only very infrequently even think about him , and I am relieved that he can no longer hurt me . I miss my mother ( who also died 30 odd years ago ) every day ! But him … naaah… he did his best to destroy everything about me … so my best revenge now is living well … and forgetting him most of the time … which is a victory !
You described it well their end goal. Narcissists want to leave you with problems even when they are not their. They seek to haunt you. I have self-sabotaged myself throughout my life, in my studies and in my work, because I hear their narcissistic mental abusive comments in my head. I also realized later why my mother was intentionally stunting me with food and why my father was preventing me from becoming strong when I was 16 to 20. They did not want me to grow as a man. My father was fearful that I would become too strong that I would be able to defend myself and my mother and sister, though they became narcissists from the conditioning and brainwashing.
#2 my mom always assumes my capabilities are same as hers. Like she wasn't a weak old lady and I have trained to be strong. It's completely nuts! She also was always green with envy of my body! Getting old is hard to anyone, but especially to narcs. I witnessed this also with other narcs (whom I of course attracted ) who are decades older than me. They seek to see us as "the same". They refuse to see that I'm so much younger than them. Crazy. I don't want to become this type of crazy person myself.
yes, my narc brother once said he could lift the same weight as me (they were jealous i could throw my nephew in the air) and his wife piped in and said "yes, we just haven't had the training." As though they had been unfairly excluded from some secret class on how to do push-ups. 😂
The jealousy is unbelievable! My job, my looks, my accomplishments, anything and everything that she never was. My narc mother passes almost 2years ago now, but I'm still dealing with all the hurt and pain she caused me, and probably will for a long time to come. I pray that anyone that goes through this heals quickly. God bless you all ❤️🙏🏻
I repaired HVAC at a care home long ago and there was this one very spiteful and demanding patient who was a former police officer but who got a massive infection and became a multiple amputee. He constantly yelled demands at the nurses and one of the Caribbean nurses responded to him in a singsong voice "Or what, you going to arrest me, beat me? Come on, get up from your bed and beat me with your police stick". And all of the other nurses laughed while the man wailed in defeat. Very fitting torment for that guy. I don't even know him but from the way he was yelling at the caretakers I knew what kind of person he is.
I’m an empath and what I see is a person who is suffering incredibly and hopelessly. It breaks my heart people live and feel this way all their life. I was abused by narcissists and would never support or defend them EVER, but take a step back and look at them. They are very sad beings. I’m still healing from my past and thank God I finally figured out what happened to me and pray to be free of the symptoms soon. What these people inflict on others is lifelong. Also so very sad.
I agree with you. It's sad when you realize they've never known how to be happy and alienated everyone around them. But no contact is the only way to be free of them.
Your comment is very true. I am still trying to heal and by God's grace I will. Revelation 21:4 gives encouragement to endure because the best is yet to come.
I agree with you! No more relations with a man. I desire to have a peaceful and happy life! I have older children and grand children to love! 😍😊❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
My Mom's brother was also a narcissist and he was always trying to date much younger women. My grandmother would always suggest women to him that would be nice to date, in his own age range and he was disgusted by this. The last "relationship" he had before he died was an on again off again thing with what started off as a 17 year old girl. He was in his 60's. He saw no problem with this. His "friends" were 2 young men in their early 20's but the friendship started when these kids were seniors in high school I think. It blows your mind. I have always struggled with managing money, and I've often thought it was because I was never allowed to have any responsibilities involving money. My mother and family was very controlling. I was only allowed to have certain "jobs", such as babysitting or doing chores for my grandparents, thus I would never have a larger amount of money to do anything and would always have to grovel to them if I wanted to do something. My mother would always say "I'm not driving you anywhere, and you're not borrowing my car either". My sister was smarter, she got a waitressing job, and would walk to and from even at night just so she could have a life. They do want to keep you stuck, childish, and dependent, that way you can't escape them. To this day I would rather cut out my own tongue than to ask my mother for money.
Wow.. It just clicked I lived that.. My dad always said he didn't want to put miles on the car.. Yet 35 years later he runs the roads.. It was about control. So instead I baby sat and almost all the "father's" were perves trying to hit on me as they drove me home.
Narcissists are children who never grow up. They want to have the highground over you and when you're an adult they will try to keep you in your place. You can never know anything more than them or better them. I'm 69 with a 96 year old mother who to this day does not allow me to voice my own opinions. They will disrespect you till the day they draw their last breath.
It was only very recently that I realized my husband was a narcissist. We have been married 10 years and have not had sex for 8 of those. I just woke up about 4 months ago. and now I plan my escape. I made every single excuse for him. We went to couples therapy where he openly admitted that he never loved him and was never in love with me...now 1 year and 9 months later i am planning to divorce him.. i honestly don't know how or why i stayed with him.. Through studying narcissism I came to realize my mother is a narcissist as well and pretty much all of my siblings! I really had no name for any of this and I punished myself for years trying to figure out why my mom and siblings hated me...wow!
Shortly before my narc died, I was terrified that he was going to do something horrible. This went on for a very long time. He was mentally unstable, and full of rage. Delusional, paranoid, and totally disintegrating. What you are describing is EXACTLY what I witnessed in my narc. This stage is truly terrifying. But we need to understand it so that we can reverse the CPTSD that they have inflicted on us.
My father is in an old age home. He's a malignant narcissist. But he is so sweet and polite and keeps his cool and imaginary high ground as he makes his son feel terrible.
I have an old narcissistic neighbors and she pays people to walk her dogs but no one can stay for a long period because the constant verbal abuse. Her adult children and doctors say she has dementia or Alzheimer's disease but she has a great memory. I guess they say it to not admit she's unbearable.
Boy it sure does!My narc father would literally close the curtains at 3:00PM even in the summer out of fear that "bad people" would 👀 in through the 🪟s at him despite the fact that the 🪟s were all way off the ground even🤪.
@@malwads1836 Mine used to shut all the shutters in the house even upstairs so the house was always dark. I would open them and he would close them again I didn't understand why he was doing this. Your response may be his reason.
The older they get the WORST they get... he's out of my life now.. I have been CELIBATE 17 yrs at the age of 37 now 56 going on 18 years of CELIBACY..n going to keep that way
Can anyone else sense that awful energy they give off? Sometimes, strangers will exit a room sharpish when they look at me! It’s like that demon inside of them knows. I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it; huge paradigm shift happening folks.
I know what you are talking about.. its like they see me and it says to them.. You know I know. I had to stand in line with one of them for 45 mins and it rolled off this person who was ahead of me. I literally developed a headache. Stress went up right away.. and there was no way to shut this man up.
The absolutely worthless court system and the no-fault divorce? The narc in my life is so greedy and selfish. I’m sure he is socked away all kinds of things over the 26 1/2 years we were married and whatever he’s telling me about is I’m sure just a very small portion, which he is also trying to steal. We not only live in a pathocracy, it truly is a demonic realm at this point. The worst people are getting away with everything in every single aspect of life and nobody is doing anything about it. Only now do all my friends and family tell me they didn’t like my husband from the start. Thanks. Thanks for having my back. 😕 my mom was a narcissist. His mom was a narcissist. I wish I hadn’t wasted my life with him. It would’ve been really fun to of been with someone who loved me and actually wanted to do things and make a life as a couple together. But my narc was apparently always only looking out for himself.
Yes! This so much! My narc foster mother sa me and I have ptsd from it. Plus depression and anxiety. Any a few illnesses that were preventable. On top of that people were encouraging me to see my abuser in a positive light. She was never brought to justice not even for the sa. I have anger deep inside of me due to that injustice.
@@danika9411 I'm slowly making myself let go, but it has often been a "2 steps forward, 1 step back" journey. Learning more about what was really going on - through a lot of videos here - has really helped me make some progress. Hopefully, you can find some peace as well. God bless you!
My therapist advises that my “justice” is that I made it well beyond the development of an emotional four old unlike both my parents. With hard work I can treat my CPTSD and toxic traits I recruited to survive my neglectful childhood. What confuses me is how these types are so fluid socially and intellectually. My parents owned two businesses. Only in my fifties do I now notice the many one dimensional people walking the earth who lack emotional depth to be able to empathize and experience intimacy. I do feel sorry for them in way from a distance. They kick ass at work as they aren’t slowed down by empathy like most people. It’s fascinating but also can lead to me focusing on them which is a problem. 💜
You make some great points Danish. As a therapist also working with victims of narcissistic abuse, one of the things Ive noticed is that narcissists live a very very long time - relative to empathic people. Narcissists can unfortunately survive for decades and continue to cause endless suffering during these years of demise. Waiting for a narcissistic parent to die, is a common and tragic response from children of narcissists.
Every video on narcissism states the same. They will suffer, either they themselves or their close ones in similar circumstances. God's messengers will arrange this. Sometimes we can stand back and watch the narcassist completely fall. My story is similar to those who have suffered. I married without Knowing a covert narcissist. I suffered physically mentally emotionally and financially. My son did too. 30 years on, my ex who was once a bully, controlling and loved only his money is now alone, depressed, disabled and lives his life, at the age of 77, with no interaction, friends and is need of operations which he can't have due to his greed and obesity. A man who once controlled companies and ripped people off to finance his businesses is reduced to a shadow of his former self, alone and living in one room struggling to walk and battling his own demons. Narcissists are eventually found out and do suffer at the end of their life.
This is why money and possessions are so important to a narc. All my husband buys is ball caps, golf paraphernalia, yeti cups, hand jobs and God only knows what other sex services, food, alcohol, tasteless media, but he needs every possible cent he can scavenge because he knows that’s the only thing he has left to attract anyone.
@@carpediem6431 In the process. Every time I get frustrated with how soul sucking the divorce process is (when nobody in the court system acknowledges this type of person, even though they’re obviously everywhere, specially in divorce court), I remember how soul sucking the marriage experience was. Trying to extricate myself as quickly, and not as penniless as possible.
Couldn't take it anymore, have a disabled child, also n can t do both by myself..had my narc mother placed in a home. We have occasional contact with her, what a monster.. still trying to" punish" me. Yep.. jealous, spiteful, hateful. Keep telling myself.. she s where she needs to be. Now it s time for me.
So true. The upside of the downside is that, now, when people see what that person is really like, they don't judge you anymore for having let her down, even if she is your own mother. There are limitations to sacrifice, we shouldn't sacrifice our own life to one of our parents.
I’ve been told my whole life by my parents and my cousins that I owe my parents. Only realized a few days ago how much I have sacrificed for them which is my entire life thus far. I just want peace.
What about the chrildren that have been abused in institutons that are left with such physical & emotional scars that they have the bottle or a needle in their arm for a minutes peace; or the ones that were murdered ,or didn't make ir ? The church people dont want to ackowledge that though even today ! Carn't speak out againts the churches?! Really?Then there are the chrildren that are told by their cruel narc Mother's that they "wished they never had them"? l was told that at age 10.I did all her messages on her whim,cleaned the bathroom to her liking each week or else do it again totally.Cleaned up the whole kitchen after dinner after school . which left school homework undone. Washed & polished my Father's car each fortnight.Did the lawn on the other weekend.She also demanded presents - that I knew I would forfeit my 20 c pocket money to provide bc& I went hungry at school at 10 years of age .The kind Nun would give me extra milk as she saw how thin & how I would look longingly at the salad roll's on tuck shop day with my mouth was watering.I was told on my 5th birhday, that I was old enough to to do her shopping now .I wondered how on Earth to get to the shop? I was simply told not to get into cars with men ,& not to.talk to strangers & what she wanted. to.the letter.Later when older 16 /17 she would accuse me of inappropriate behaviour & rage on for ages if 10 minutes late home on the bus from work? I was too old fashioned for that!!I even hitched hiked for 2 months to get them two sets of crockery (as we were so poor looked down upon & unnessarrily) even though girls were going missing & murdered at that time. .Both parents never stopped me - although I was hurt that they didn't after the first box of crockery.The boy upstairs was terrified & warned me, but I pressed on for them & their betterment. At that time too ,my Mother hated my boyfriend from.school & threatened to.put me in the ,'bug house' if I didn't stop seeing him;& marched me to the Social worker to do so.. The Social worker was beyond horrified .I gave them everything.Forced to sell my cheap house to buy a better one for them - which I did & got a morgage whilst 'they,' decided too & fro if they would live there or not for 5 & half years as I toiled to improve it with my Father ? I bought it for them . Finally, after asking permission to have a morning coffee with a gentlman at age 49 as I scrubbed my Mother's floors one moening & being told no ! After,being a slave to them both & seeing a crash coming like '29' in 2002 soon for 2008.I sold up & had to move far away to purchase a house.I still suppported them & bought them.a lovely car soon after the sale so as they would't 'look poor' - that was nearly as much as the house & I had to walk on a broken leg for two half years to provide..it was excruciating.. & I cpuld have lost my leg.I nursed them both til.their deaths.They realised as they went down hill suddenly. Mum with dementia & immobile, & my Father blind,just how' dependable,' I was . Next Narc arrives in the shape of a boyfriend & was utterly cruel, dishonest & horrible, hurting my beautiful dog Hetty & myself on every level physical,emotional, financial ,& with typical untrue gossip abuse 20 years on now.I dont want to look for the good in people no matter their position nor how pious & religious they appear to be as it is not the truth.So very shocked ,hurt & disappointed in the human race as a whole.Look at all the Wars & the death chambers...On & on it goes. One has to be stronger than strong to survive these creatures.I say to anyone if you see unfair ,& preposterous behaviou's ,& if your not broken totally RUN & GIVE THEM NO QUARTER, as some learn when too late, when your nearly an invalild yourself..& many recalcitrant dont.The Bible says never help an evil man(.no.doubt woman ),as your reward will be 7 fold. I have many sad memories,injuries,broken bones & immune disorders to endorse that. God has intervened & protected me ,but I am here now at 70 with a life of disbelief & sadness. Please Take heed.God Bless. .
You described my father in a nutshell. As he has grown older, the paranoia, and rage, and emotional outbursts are just on another level. I first cut ties with him about 8 years ago, eventually my mother and siblings saw him for who he was and went no contact as well 2 years ago. We are all better off without him.
@@Seraphim7 this is a fallen world and is ruled by satan. That's why God allows it to happen. These people all had free will to choose and those chose hatred and pain.
I fear my mother, in her late 70s, is going to be the same situation. It breaks my heart that my dad passed just as we were starting to like each other for the first time in my life. Growing up, our house was always in some kind of tragedy or uproar, and my mom had me believing it was because of my dad. Looking back, I now see that it was her all along. I also found out that I, being first born, was the child used to trap my father into marriage. I feel like I survived my childhood, emotionally speaking, as my mother will point out that we were always provided for.
💯Aging is the narcissists worst enemy. This is currently my ex brother in law. He can’t even use his money to get supply now because his reputation precedes him & no one wants to deal w/him.
My narc had rage just below the surface that almost anyone can sense, but he came from a very repressed, rural, Swedish German background, so there were a lot of repressed things that of course caused problems for him later in life, because he never learned how to self soothe. His superpower is restraint, so he always looks like an even keel, dependable guy. What a liar.
@@dontbeadogsbody3564that sounds like my deceased full Italian m last husband. Everyone thought he had it under control. But he saw everything as a personal slight, an insult. It was trauma just talking to him to stop him from imploding and hurting himself or others.
@@devilsoffspring5519 Aging doesn’t have to be an enemy. It’s a natural part of life. It’s how you’ve taken care of your body, maintained your social garden, lived your life That determines how harsh the aging experience will be. Aging can be a wonderful time. Lots of wisdom. Slowing down, enjoying and reflecting on things that you never had time to do before. Moving into a different role. But narcs only have one way of being in the world and because they do not develop any wisdom, they do not learn to accept or enjoy any of these changes.
@@devilsoffspring5519 Aging is a natural part of life. It doesn’t have to be an enemy. It all depends on how you lived your life, took care of your body and maintained your social garden. If he’s lived a life where lots of your bad deeds are going to come knocking, yes, aging is bad. But aging is also a time of great wisdom and reflection. You are able to think about, do and reflect on things you’ve never had time to do before. However narcs have no restraint, so they’ve likely abused their bodies And never learned how to take responsibility for caring for their body, they left that up to their supply. They dislike people, because everyone is competition, unless they are supply, So they do not have the kinds of friendships that help support the transition from aging to death. They’ve lived an unscrupulous, oftentimes disgusting life and unfortunately because they’ve had no interests outside of vices, in their old age, they must sit alone and be reminded of all of the things that made them alone now.
Thanks for uploading this! I just realized that my aunt is a narcissist who in her old age suddenly became super invested in me and began helping me after not interacting with me my entire life because she is growing old, lonely, and sicker as the years pass and she has alienated everyone with her behavior. She was dressing me up in her old clothes and trying to convince me to do things that I didn't want, trying to keep me from going to the dr when I broke a bone-- all to control me and vicariously live through me because she can't do it anymore. When she realized she can't project onto me and that I'm my own person she had a meltdown, started picking fights with me, getting involved in my business, asking me if I locked doors to keep her out when I'm just in the bathroom trying to shower, trying to pry into my personal life to figure out what traumas I have and even asking if I'm suicidal. She eventually kicked me out and followed me to my car to scream at me. I now realize that I was being emotionally abused, however briefly. I was just an extension of herself and never a real person to her, and having my own goals really triggered her.
I remember my dad used to say stuff like "Okkk, mom. Relax mom. Not around the grandchildren mom" to his malignant narcissist mother. Now, he's entering that same point in his life and I'm having to say the same stuff to him, my malignant narcissist father. Fortunately, that won't happen to me. I was the scapegoat of the family, I'm a decent person, and got the heck out! No contact for 5 months. The most peaceful and fulfilling 5 months I've ever had!
I had 25 miserable years with my NH - he got so much worse as he aged (more verbally and physically abusive) He got himself in some trouble and ended up in prison where he died of a heart attack.
My grandmother was an narcicistic alcoholic, I remeber her how she frighened me when I was in the kindergarden. 25 years later when she had her final months I enjoyed telling her I will be happy when she is gone.
@@tabletsam5624 i pray You will feel loved by someone in Your life, it doesn't have to be Your parents. And i hope Your parents will be also good, we can only pity them and wish them improvement cause narcs are not very happy in life.
My mother used to chase me through the house with a knife in one hand and a mason jar in the other. She said she was going to chop me up and stuff me in it. I remember sitting in the hall closet and sobbing. Probably 8 or 9 yrs old. She hated me through adulthood.
That is so so true about older men narcs chasing young woman I myself was a victim of a sixty five year old man who targeted me age fourty . And what is the sickest is he would flirt with younger woman than me in twenty’s right in front of myself where it was not innocent flirting but hey I want you in my bed flirting. It was so so so recognizable to everyone one around. I would call him out about it and he would say iam insane to think such things. Gaslighting the crap out of me. Your not going to make me admit of doing something wrong I know that I wasn’t it.
My career was centered around Veterans with dementia, and I can say you are spot on. Fortunately they were a member of someone else’s family, and not mine. I loved my work but could never have done it if they were my family members. I went home at the end of my day. Most of my patients were further along in the dementia progression so they really couldn’t help doing what they did. The narcs were easy to identify…..
Again spot on. I'm 72 now and prefer my own company with my dogs. I trust no one fully. I have good interactions with strangers in reallife, but never ger involved. I think the latest "trick" played on me has actually strengthened me.
This is unfortunatelly familiar to me. I have to take care of old narc parents. It's like living in quick sand. 😢 Narcs won't really become better when they get old. Sending love to anyone in same awful and draining position ❤ fighting for their sanity.
How are we supposed to "seek support" when nobody around us will help us? All they want to do is either hold up the previous delusions of the narcissists or just edge away as fast as they can. Happened with the plumber this morning (whose family has been a longtime friend of the family).
I, too am in this position with my elderly narc parents. They will constantly team up against me to degrade me, stick their noses up at me, say and do cruel things. It never ends😢😢😢
Oh my, I too am caught up in all this, reconize so much of all said here. Sad to see how many we are who suffer, and the narcs are all the same :/ Sending love to you all stay strong! ❤
How timely for my situation, I am witnessing this exactly, the narc in my life is 80 yrs old and this is just what I am seeing. Thank you. So validating for me.
WOW! Thank you for confirming this! My sister was ALWAYS nasty, and got WORSE, so I can't IMAGINE how she'll be when she is old! I don't want to be around her to find out! 😮
Wow, you described exactly who my father was and exactly how he acted at the end. In the end, he had driven everyone away (including his 8 sibling) including me, his daughter. He was alcoholic, married 7 times (twice to the same women)and was always looking for what he could get out of every situation. At the end he even drove me away because he wanted to possess me. He was so jealous of other people in my life that he kept trying to buy my attention. He was I’ll and I was taking care of him but I also had a young son and my elderly mother that I was living with and taking care of. When buying me didn’t work he would hurt himself on purpose so that I would come running to his side. He put himself in the hospital 6 times in a 3 month period trying to get my attention. When that didn’t work to his satisfaction he got mean and accused me of stealing from him and calling me all kinds of names. I couldn’t take any more and I told him exactly what I had been wanting to say to him my whole life. So he told me I was no longer his daughter. So I hung up the phone and called my uncle and begged my uncle to come get him, so he did. Needless to say I never spoke to my father again. One day my uncle called and told me my father had died in an convalescent hospital. I didn’t want things to end that way 🥺😢but there was just no reasoning or talking to him.
Yes you definitely nailed the oldass narcissist. I haven’t spoken to a grandmother in 14 years but I was told how mean and horrible she was till the very end of her miserable old life here on earth. She was a narcissist to the core and once I stopped speaking to the narcissistic people that were my family is when I began to find peace and real actual love for myself and ended up finding out about narcissism and it confirmed my knowing of the demons inside of them. Peace and true joy and happiness can be yours again when you leave your narcissistic family and or friends behind. I know this from experience. I slept in my car in parking lots for a longtime by myself alone until I found my feet again. Worth every second for sure. 😊
Thank you Danish. I really appreciate your channel and you for helping me understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My boyfriend has this Disorder and it is very frightening to me. Especially the violent rages and threats to my life. I'm hoping to get out soon before I lose my mind.
Basically a toddler with those rages. Tell him to grow up! Get out in secret! He might want to stop you. Have a trusted person with you in case he stops up. You may have to leave a lot of possessions behind..better that than your sanity or your life!
Leave quietly. Have a good plan and a plan in place so you can STAY gone. Ex. Make sure you're not a position that you need his money or support for anything. Make sure your family/friends/support are on your side and let them in on the plan.
You described my oldest brother exactly with one difference; he played the part of 'nice/cool guy' with co-workers and neighbors while being his narcissistic evil self to his relatives and anyone he thought inferior that he could use without exposing himself. He married a girl 26 years younger than him and made her life a living hell. He made my life as much a hell as he could as I was growing up (he was 10 years my senior). Happily, he committed suicide in Jan 2000 just before his 55th birthday. I'm not shedding crocodile tears over his death as he was truly a monster and destroyed the lives of everyone he could, especially his daughter who became a drug addict and a prostitute. And he didn't care. His behavior made me think he was a psychopath and he might have had a tendency to be one, but not all the way. Anyway, I'm glad he's been dead for the last 24 years and I wish I understood what a narcissist was 50 years ago. I would have ignored him and stayed away from him.
Its frightening and sad all at the same time. I know someone like this. He's currently in prison and I went to see him because I felt sorry for him after reading his sad delusional (paranoid) letters. He nearly wrecked my life ten years ago! I thought he just needed someone to communicate with and I thought as he is in prison it was relatively safe to have contact with him but straight away he is trying to triangulate me with his wife. He see's himself as the victim and refuses to accept any responsibility for his behaviour for anything, including the reason he is in prison. Thank you for your video because it reminds me of just how bad they are. When you aren't around them anymore you tend to forget how vile they can be. Time is a healer but it can also causes your rose coloured spectacles to re-appear.
This is exactly how my monster-in-law is behaving. Her son (my hubs) and I stay far away. She wants him to toss me aside and cater to her only while his older brother lives with her free ans done so his entire life. My hubs told her no, he lives with you, he needs to do for you.
My mother had some unhealthy attraction to her mailman & she would make the most disgusting comments about him which I have to say turned my stomach & he was the same age as one of my brothers! So I can see parallels to this episode. I cut off all communication 6 years before she passed & she was so angry with me, she would leave scathing messages to me on my phone, screaming, yelling telling me it would be my fault if she has a stroke or heart attack & how dare me treat her like this, bla bla bla. She used my inheritance as the carrot & of course cut me off & was was even more infuriated that I told her I never wanted her money, it was so toxic, I’m surprised I’m not more damaged than I already am! I’m at peace!
My mother has NPD a totally selfish manipulative bit of evil, nearing the end of her life. It’s like watching a pilot with a burning parachute falling to earth. I can’t wait for the end really. Great Channel, anyone just discovering your parents or family is a narcissist I wish you the best and remember you are not alone in this.
I saw my father go through all of these stages in his final months and, together with my narcissistic brother and sister, he wrote me out of a significant part of his will despite me returning to be his primary carer. Since my father's death, I've been shunned by both my siblings but I see it as a blessing to be free from their toxic behavior.
Woah similar story shunt out of the will and did so much for the family. Should of stayed away from my 2 narc siblings after the death of my dad. I have a serious spinal injury spent 12 years rebuilding it. The narc brother grabbed me on the spine and destroyed my mobility career path.. He's classed as mentally ill lives is supported living cannot be prosecuted.. Knew exactly what he planned to do. Hate that he did this to me.
My father has acted like he has dementia for about 45 years. I finally figured out he's a narcisist. I've heard the same stories repeated to anyone who will listen since I was a kid. He'll tell the same stories and never wants to listen to anyone else.
Oh yes I am the only care taker of my 80 year-old Narcissistic mother it's exactly as you describe. It's quite sad actually watching them loose their narcissistic potential , and ability to maneuver through situations ,their smearing is obvious their lying is obvious, even their lovebombing is ridiculously fake. It's like their once successful technics and meticulous manipulations are now all come out unorganized and messy for every one to see. It actually now becomes obvious how much all these behaviors are part of who they are . It is how they have learned to interact and communicate all their lives , with malignancy, lies, verbal abuse hypocrisy, blackmail, threats, belittling, comparing. It's like watching a professional swimmer trying to not drawn in water at old age.
I grow up with a narcissistic father very aggressive and physically and verbally abusive, i was very miserable dealing with depression, hate and suicidal thoughts, ending up very sick. About 7 years ago i give my life to Jesus , i accepted Him as my Lord and Savior , He healed my body and my soul, filled me with joy and peace. Please call on Jesus, He can do it for you as well. God bless you !
This is soooo ironic, you’re describing my mother looking for any reason to fight, beat me or put me down. I was 4 years old, and she was 22 and she was already making everyone miserable. I’ll be 40 next month, and wow you’re so on point. They are just bitter…
![Lethal Company Music Video 🎵 "Follow The Orders" [VERSION A]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QeooZB4Z7RA/mqdefault.jpg)
Register for workshop on "Break the trauma bond with a Narcissist"
emotionalabuserecovery.com/eventbtb
My son got me out of the trauma bond, I ended up in an auto accident, 6 months recovery,, and 2 years to get my head straight! My son is my best friend. Kids are important, can't wait for my daughter to move closer! 💕
I understand! Happily single for over a decade!
Will you be having another webinar? It looks interesting/helpful.
My daughter’s mother is a covert narcissist and a therapist. I am done with relationships. I can’t go through this again.
I need the workshop.
You can't do ugly things to people and then expect to live a beautiful life.
The unconsciousness of the narcissistic always feels undeserved entitlement to whatever they want, no matter what they've done or who they hurt, I've seen no remorse except for when someone doesn't give them their way
Bars !!
It's like never taking out the garbage....Sure at 1st you may be able to get away with it but come back a while later & see/smell what the living conditions are like🤢.
say it louder for the narcs in the back🫡
You thought you can just slide in a RDR2 reference and we don't notice 🤣🤣
They absolutely get meaner, more demanding and entitled as they get older. I've learned to ignore them and find my own peace.
Me too
My grandma told me she has always been this way and I had to learn to live with it. No I don’t and quit going around her
@RobinSpeer That is absolutely true! I dated a woman(7mos. older than me) who was 3yrs into a stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis. This was before I learned about narcissism, so I tried to enrich her life. Including helping her quit cigarettes. I had never met someone who was so angry, delusional, and ungrateful. After 3mos together, she grew frustrated with me, and started to devalue & triangulate me against her ex bf. I had already began learning about narcissism, and recognized the red flags, so I disappeared on her. I've been free of her for 14mos. I've spoken with ppl who have known her for almost 20yrs and after sharing my observations with them, they have all told me her narcissism has only grown worse not only as she's grown older, but esp. since she received her terminal diagnosis. now, and life has gotten so much better since leaving her.
Very very true. And if they chose you in thier old age. You are doomed
They become malignant monsters...
I will not get into another relationship with another man. I prefer to live the rest of my life alone and at peace and happiness.
😅what will we do then? I feel exactly t same at 60 having watched this vid
I hear ya! It isn’t worth it.The peace of being unattached IS worth -your peace of mind across the board.
Agree... Because chances are you'll pick another one.. I have a friend who's on her 3rd abusive husband... She leaves one then picks the same personality in different skin for the next one..
Very wise, i managed to steer clear of dating for a decade but eventually ran into another by default!
Back to the peace and liberation of independence and solitude.
Good luck!
Yep, so done with a man. It's peaceful even though I'm poor!
Never try to make it work with a narcissist. It doesn't work. A narcissist will never change. It doesn't matter how much someone serves a narcissist with love and dedication, he'll never love the other person.
GOD SAYS DIFFERENT
@@doralinda81 True but quite rare because you have to fight so many demons; its very very hard. Been there, and I most sincerely wish you the best.
I hear they run in families sometimes. .
so very much wish I had this truth told to me decades ago. thank you
You mean he or she
I worked in skilled nursing facilities for 20+ years. They’ve run off most of their family, they are helpless, and they lash out at staff. I didn’t know the label of Narcissist then. We called them spirit suckers.
Energy Vampires
Skilled nursing facility? What is that?
Ummm…make sure you aren’t labeling dementia and Alzheimer’s patients this way. They truly can’t help their behavior. It’s not narcissism for them but brain death.
@@susanfudge1737
Nursing homes that's where a lot of narcissists are being dumped and no one comes to visit them either.
Spirit Sucker is quite accurate, unfortunately they do more than just sucking other's spirits, they literally tried to poison their soul and those who pitied and helped them
I can't imagine being jealous of my children. I'm so proud of my babies, who are now in their 40's.
It's weird. Why have kids if you're just going to feel jealous and tear them down? Your job as a parent is to help your kids live confidently in this crazy world. This man had to wade through a lot of confusing BS with his dad 🙁
I grew up in a house with two neurotic parents. My dad just had anxiety issues, but my mom is a narcissist. Now that my dad has passed, mom is a real handful !
U r a good parent. My mom didn't want me to grow in my career and she devastated me last december by beating me ad yelling loudly like a monster. We stayed in a hotel room. She create so much fuss that the hotel men called and reminded us to leave the next day. Even today, I can't sleep at nighty, always crying and fearing for everything. She used bad words in front of my dad and my little daughter. She thinks herself to be an angel down to earth. After that she blocked me in whatsapp and not at all talking to me. She made my dad too to hate me saying more lies about me. I sent a message that I will end my life. For that message also there is no reply from them. Now I am 40 years old and she is 67 years. She is very jealous on me and my kid😢
I grew up with 2 malignant narcissist, there is not only envy or jealously from them, but hate too. Imagine we were 6 kids, 2 were the golden child and 3 scapegoats, yes! Just because 1 scapegoat wasn't enough for their big ego, the 2 golden child were supported by them, with money and school, even inherited in life from them, the others we are surviving and barely making our needs done, among siblings we don't have a good relationship since our parents always instigate hate and competition for their "love" between us .. I can keep writing the damage done, but thanks God I have been recovering , i am the only one aware of all this in my family the rest ended up being narcs too. So sad, so damaging these demons in flesh should not reproduce, they only destroy the life of their kids, do you wanna hear something even worst? My hometown it's infested with narcs too, and these narc family dynamics are very common there, so i do believe narcissism it's genetic
my mother had kids to keep my Dad with her otherwise she a*b*or*ted,
she told me (5x)...........she made fun of me and my sister for our appearance of being unhealthy and not cared for, she would wipe our faces with sour dish rags (old days, they used rags to wash dishes) and she was never comforting or nice to us, merely mocked or made fun of our unhappiness. she did let molestation happen (denied it but over and over it happened to all of us) and denied that her dad was a molester *but both her sisters said he did and their mother told them, "you are on your own as he brings in the $$$$"). and so on. crazy jealous and competitive, I think she hated women.....and had no respect for them. she was always after everyone's man *husband, mate. but she also emasculated men if they married her. my Dad left her when she bragged in a fight *which was often and violent, that the child she was carrying was not HIS child and so he left with us. sooooo soooo jealous and hated me. they are out there, trust me.@@Here4TheHeckOfIt
They reap as they have sown and they have sown a lot of pain and misery
It is so true...Even with all their taking, they are still unbelievably miserable with insanely raging egos. They have no internal peace and their hearts are devoid of love. They're always on a hair trigger to have their world collapse by anyone's even well-meaning comments. That's got to be the worst existence imaginable!
Yes, I think so and it's like they do it themselves. Their personality type can hurt them in the end
And they still have an eternity in hell to look forward to.
@@Solscapes. The universe has a way of balancing all things. Just because you don't see justice doesn't mean there's been justice denied. If your mother is like mine, its the appearance of doing fine they really care about. They are so competitive they can't even get along with one another (they have acquaintances, not real friends),, can't eat out without someone spitting in their food, to die badly. Some would say that because they reject any introspection and live an unexamined life, they've had lives not worth living.
Live in the truth!
@@doralinda81 May I ask how you think this happened? Can you trace it back to the way you were raised or some specific event?
I seriously think that Narcissists are possessed by Evil. (God please deliver us and protect us 🙏)
Agree.
Guess who the very first narcissist was/is?
Satan.
I totally agree
It’s a spiritual problem
They are.. They open a door to the demonic world because of how they treat people. Pray when interacting with them every time if you can’t have no contact..
Evil is an old biblical description of narcisists.
As a nurse, I can tell you they all die ALONE. No family members will be with them.The only ones there at their passing are the medical personel. Incredibly sad.
These must be the people everyone feels so sad for because they have no family? Well, they do but no one comes to see them.
but are all that dies alone narcissist ?
So true!
Almost everyone die alone in exception with air crash or other circumstances. The most important thing is where is your soul going after this life.
Thank goodness their families found the strength to leave and build safe lives for themselves. People don't get a free pass on abuse just because they're dying. The only sad thing in that situation is how nasty those people must have been and the trauma they must have inflicted on their families for it to get to that point. I hope their victims found peace. For myself, I won't know when my abusers pass. I went no contact 3 yrs ago after yet another attempt on my life. It was long overdue. Maybe they'll find someone to be there for them in their final hours, but it certainly won't be me.
For loving caregivers, narcs are a nightmare. They constantly challenge your character.
Yes!
Constantly complain as well!! I saw such folk in a nursing home I worked in back in the 80s do this!!
Thats true trying to get you to continuously compete with them just sad
Yes. There was an evil child that hated me, when I was caring for her she would cry just to make others think I was mistreating her.
Helen .that must be Draining . Generally very exhausting mentally and physically because I am sure they must be demanding your attention all through yet others need to be attended.
My dad was obsessed with my physical strength. He would insist to start arm wrestle games with me. At one point I started going to the gym and became much stronger, I kept avoiding having arm wrestles with him after that because I knew I would win and that would devastate him. But one day he insisted so much, mocking me and calling me gym boy that I accepted it, as expected I won without even trying. As expected also, he got so mad at me for winning, started making snarky bitter remarks, oh you might have won but you still have a fat belly, your spine is still crooked, you have the hunchback of a loser. When I was your age I had a six pack, I was so good at sports .... etc. Back then I felt guilty for hurting him, nowadays over 25 years later I think, what kind of father wants their children to be weaker than them and gets mad when finds out they are not? A narcissistic father.
😳 Your dad is an absolute weirdo! Why would he want to compete with his own kid? I'm sorry if I'm being harsh. Hope you're living a great life now.
@@Here4TheHeckOfIt They compete with their own kid, because their entire life is lived by making sure others feel "less than." Even their own children. Which is why the age-ing narcissistic parent, as their bodies are failing them, get meaner and meaner as they blame others for their physical decline. No accountability. Everything is OTHER people's fault. Even death and dying is caused by others......... not a natural process. Especially since it is the ultimate in loss of control.
It's delusional is what it is.
Why didn't you just pretend to lose?
@@joyfulj1663 ok, and then what?
After almost 30 years I finally figured out that instead of getting better with age and experience, they get worse! Don’t waste your life trying to make these people happy. You can’t
So agree. I could not leave for reasons which won't go into here. They do not change, have come to the conclusion they need a butterfly with endless wing's that they can rip-off daily slowly armed with the knowledge that the wings will regrow. They will never change sadly. Their victims are often silent as I became. For those of you reading these posts and young enough to leave. Please do so. My best wishes to all on here who have lived this nightmare as I did. Bless you all.
Thanks for the video!! My mother is 78 and a malignant narcissist.... She abused and neglected me as a child.... I had zero self-esteem, then was bullied in middle school because my mom wouldn't buy me any new clothes when I went through a growth spurt..... I was homeless at 17, but managed to graduate from college in 4 years with a 3.5 GPA in business and got a job in the corporate world.... I quickly married another malignant narcissist, and my children and I were abused for 14 years.... The abuse continued after the divorce, since I was trapped in a small town with no support.... I am 58 years old and am a You Tube creator ( I retired from teaching and waitress full-time) and have learned to heal and practice self-love.... I have started to speak out about my abuse ( I have a health and wellness You Tube video), and my mother and sister have turned against me, claiming that I am emotionally unstable..... I want to share my story to help others to learn to self-love and setting good boundaries....
Wow, that's an incredible life story! I see you have gone through a much of tough tiems and you want to help others by sharing yoir experience and how you dealt with problems.
It's always amazing to see authentic people thrive off of their traumas and heavy problems and turned their dark times into a strength!
Hang in there. My sister finally saw the light.
Your story resonates with me. I also left home at 17 with very basic qualifications and had to learn to survive. I saw myself through film school top of my year and after graduating with nothing let to prove, drove a cab for ten years. Gave it up for the stress and danger, and became a singer for ten more years. Working in entertainment I met more narcissists and backstabbers than the rest of my life put together. I changed domain providers to save money and lost my Google ranking overnight. And had no energy or desire to get it back. I'd sung the same songs for ten years and never really enjoyed doing shows, though the money was good. I lacked the true confidence, set myself ridiculously high standards and hated every performance I did bar one or two. I was on anti anxiety and antidepressant drugs. I slept all week and worked one day at the weekend. It was barely living. I sold everything and moved to France for two years, but slipped into an even deeper depression and stayed indoors with the shutters closed for the whole of August. I returned to England in the fall with barely any money left and got a job as a cycle messenger, with the idea that I would get into shape for my latter years. I also had a boyfriend half my age for a couple of years, which was an interesting experience. Cycling was the happiest I've been, earning peanuts, but the camaraderie and unconditional acceptance of the messenger community is extraordinary. Or was... Now things have changed once more. No radios. Apps. Electric cycles with legs hanging down and none of them speak English. I feel depressed again but I'm working on my music, the only thing keeping me going. I miss the riders and the life but I'm getting too old for it. I'm so glad I saw the twilight of traditional messengering. But the world now. I don't really like it. I think I'm slightly narcissistic, but not as much as my mother, and as for my sister, she's a vulnerable narcissist on steroids. I can't help her any more, I don't even know how to, and being around her ratchets up my stress levels to ten instantly. My mother is okay with me, because I was the golden child to some degree. I really like that you became a waitress. Doing real work for real people means more, and a simple life is the best life of all. Finally, my parents have had their health challenges, some are ongoing, and I thank God every day that I can walk and talk and sleep and do all the things I want to. But the future is for me a dark place full of shadows and dead ends. I'm 54.
THANK YOU. Even just sharing that much helped me.
Peace be with you. 😢
"Jealous of the accomplishment of their children." Spot on.
What a joke should be proud of your kids doing well if not better education that you helped them gain.
To know your job is done they can support themselves when you pass on.
A narcissist just cant fathom that they arent in control.
Ikr??? Mine (the last one) is serving 5 years of a 20 year sentence. His worst fear.
I take no pleasure in his self induced misery but I’m grateful he won’t be able to hurt his children or women……at least for now!!
Agreed 💯!! They are now in control by/from KARMA ?!?
Absolutely.
They will do anything to cheat death and avoid their messes. Send them to Pluto. One way.
Control freaks
Don't delegate tasks
Want to be the super power
narcissists get progressively worse with old age. mix bitterness, an increased desire to control and suppress people, manipulation, gaslighting and diseases like dementia - and just imagine what a toxic concoction that becomes.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@@user-ik4sy3jo5tYep! Oh shit. And it’s all true🙈
@user-ik4sy3jo5t i wasn't writing an april fool's joke in the comment section lol.
narcissists in old age are everything mentioned in the video. even worse.
their nastiness is the real deal.
-regards, steven
@@user-ik4sy3jo5t Yes, shit, lol! They start to stink of it both literally and figuratively.
@@narcicide8814 you're right...narcissists, no matter what age, are like used pampers diapers.
self-absorbed and full of 💩 lol
-cheers, steven
@@narcicide8814 agreed. narcissists are like used pampers...self absorbed and full of poop.
-cheers, steven
So many non narcissists think you love a narcissist into health, but all they do is take advantage. It’s important to be wise and realize they just operate in a different way.
That is my belief as well. I give them narcissistic supply, and they need more and more. It a void
@@user_kH9bw3ns1 Yeah, I'm dealing with a narc right now. You have to think like them. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is transactional to them. So when I feel like this person wants something or whatever, I act like the GM of a sports team and get into horse-trading mode. You get this if I get that. Drives 'em nuts, but it's impossible for him to view me as weak (they think everyone is weak) because he can smell that I'm on his level. I'm speaking his language.
I tell everyone that crosses my path do not give me an excuse to burn a bridge. I have undergone abuse from narcissists all over and through my family. I will never suffer another!!!!!
Interesting, I live by don’t dare me, the response is usually very shocking to the person who does. They have absolutely no clue I have no eff’s to give, so just try me.
I guess the silver lining of childhood abuse is there is no reason to walk around bragging about how much one can endure and not break. It seems to catch many off guard🤷🏻♀️
I've burned a lot of bridges, I also have no EFFS to give. I decided in my early 20's never to put up with people's crap, life's too damn short to be miserable. In saying all of that I've got some amazing friendships that go back 55 years.
Yes, you develop lines and if people continue to cross them then that's it: short scrift and not suffering fools. We've all learned not to tolerate abuse because we have already suffered it. One positive outcome of having suffered narcissists although it takes while to develop for the gentle souls.
Well said you have been through a lot.
Take no BS.
Short and sweet to the point.
Liked that comment
Do not give me a reason to cut you out of my life.
As if being burned that badly
With narcissists, wisdom does not come with age. Only increased narcissism.
Spot on📌
Not everyone who becomes virtually alone is a narcissist. Some are SMEAR CAMPAIGNED upon SCAPEGOATS
So true, i know.
I ended a relationship with a sadistic covert narcissist. I'm only 49yrs old, but I have absolutely no interest in being in another romantic relationship ever again. I'll be lucky if I ever mentally recover from what he did to me. I'll keep working on it, enjoying & loving my children & my friends & family and becoming the best version of myself through this journey. As for my ex, he'll live out the rest of his days looking for anyone who will have sex with him, bragging about his fancy car & talking about how cool he was in high school til the end of his days.
Venomous snake
Yup. I ended a relationship at 48. Im 61 now. Still no desire. I thought maybe I would get into one after a few years. Nope.
In the exact same situation, how do they live with themselves after the chaos and trauma they put everyone through , quite disturbing , may god help us all to never live that again
He is pitiable. He will only have people hang out with him as long as he has money.
Unfortunately I went from one narcissist marriage to another 😕 😪 🙃 😞
My NPD mother is 90 and I did what I could for years. She is in an Assisted Living now. Recently, she has gotten so bad with the tantrums, raging and self-centered behavior, I have gone 90% no contact. I know her AL will contact me about any medical issues, they always have. I continue to manage finances, but I have blocked her on my cell phone and I only pick up her messages when I want to every few days. There are no more social visits or nightly phone check-ins. It was simply her or my sanity. Also, I think my therapy kicked in as well to set boundaries on what I will not tolerate.
Bless you, im getting there. Thank you for sharing and giving strength to others
@@jbrown2908 Agree. When I hit 60 years old, I just suddenly decided that I don't want to spend another decade being verbally abused. My childhood was miserable, but she still treats me the same as she did when I was a teen and there is no talking sense to her. Believe me, I have tried. Her mother lived to be 100, so I do believe I am at risk of losing another 10 years to misery.
💜
it's okay at this point to dive into that last 10 percent. My mother told me in an exasperated fashion, as she was dying, that she wasn't going ANYWHERE! Fine. Roam the earth as a ghost in a tattered nightie. I won't be holding any séances to help her.
I prefer to live in the Peace of my own solitude than within the chaotic madness of a broken life with a Narcissist.
📣 LOUDER, PLEASE, FOR THOSE IN BACK! 📣
My mother even abused me after she passed away. Not only did she turn all my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews against me in the 7 years prior. She refused that I attend the reading of her will as well as any gatherings during and after her funeral. I was not allowed to know anything. When I went no contact, she even made me think that my son was dead. When I was raped at the age of 16, she hit me and told me never to speak of it. And on and on, I'm surprised I am still alive. 💔
Please seek the help of a therapist who specializes in recovery from narcissistic abuse and trauma. There is help out there.
@@michellebazin7988 Thank you! Have a blessed day. 🩷🙏🏻
I'm so sorry you went through that. Sending you a big hug
😢Sending you a big hug. 🙌
@@michellebazin7988 Thank you so much. God Love you. ❤️🙏🏻
"#5 and the most disgusting behavior...". I wish i watched this video last summer. I made a HUGE mistake agreeing to staying friends with my last narc. And yes he had zero shame and remorse, and was puzzled that I saw anything wrong with his totally chasing women 30+ years younger during the short time we dated. He never saw me as his girlfriend, just his mommy. He's nuts if he thinks he'll get a cute youngster to give up their life to be his mommy. Narcs are parasitic.
Only a man-child with mommy issues wants his girlfriend or wife to be a mommy figure. It's sick!
You better believe they are parasitic oh my god.
I just told the same kind of guy I'm not your friend and I never was. Don't put me in your category of friends cuz I am not your friend.
Their users
Parasite is right! 👏
Its true my narcissistic mom was very cruel to me
But she says i have to take care of her in her old age
I left her in her late 50s
Its gives me peace when i think i don't need to take care of someone who harassed meand robbed me of my childhood
Yep- left my mother when I was 50, and she died when I was in my late 50's. She will not be missed!
Fortunately my narcissistic mother always loved my brother and sister the most. Now she can live with either one. Went no contact 10 years ago and I don't regret it.
I did the same to my narcissist mother. I stopped seeing her, stopped, talking to her, and I stopped making any contact with her and her husband. The last time I saw them was in 1997 their probably dead by now, but if not they both would be 80 years old. My mother was never in good shape her entire life, always over weight, and lazy. Never did exercise to stay healthy. Living amongst narcissist is like living with the devil. No thanks.😇😇😇
I've been gone 5 yrs. In that time she got dimentia. My brother needs help prepping to get her in a home. I agreed to help. My compassion and understanding have me in a false belief that she won't be evil now. My body is reacting otherwise lol. It still holds the trauma and knows who I'm about to deal with. I am prepared lol.
Dam i understand 💯 percent
Caretaker of a narcissistic husband dealing with dementia, Alzheimers, and he is stuck in his own “ crap” no one wants to care for him, including me as I keep discovering more and more abuses of me, he is weakened but still get his cruel remarks in. I discovered he had a blog about me for many years, where he reposted my Facebook posts and he and his cronies laughed about my “crazy’ views.
That is very cruel of him. Whew!
Leave him. You owe him absolutely nothing
You sound a much 'bigger person' with great strength of character! Salutes for continuing to care knowing what you know!
Wow.. Mines more Covert.. But everything is all about him.. He does tell his coworkers his crazy wife is a conspiracy nut.. But he kisses my butt mostly because he knows I want to leave..
You are enough.
Yes, they will say you are taken their money. When actually they have taken my money from me and stole from me
If a narcissist is accusing, she is confessing.
That’s exactly what I went through. The” I’m stealing money from my xwife.” After going through divorce stuff I found out she siphoned off $400k from my accounts in six years time.
my own mother stole jewelry from me and when I laid my beautiful watch on the sink to bathe a baby *in her house, it "disappeared" and she and her husband were the only ones there...........but denied ever seeing it for like forever........but I believe she also took that...........bought the clothes off my back as well, had to have everything I had and to try to be "me"........ugh. I never knew, I kept trying to please her, never suspected she hated my guts............finally had to wake up..........took me years to acknowledge that she was the enemy who was always telling everyone I was horrible, horrible things (lies) to make me look bad.....it was all her.
The narc I had the misfortune of living with would try to throw my stuff away, telling me it "had to go" because I "wasn't using it."
Bullied me to give them my old computer or a car I was hoping to get fixed so they could turn around and give to others to appear so magnanimous.
Then, they started with nasty, digging comments insisting I was "stealing" from them, and claim I was taking _their_ stuff and money.
Imagine how irate I was when this person kept doing this and then tried to pass it off as a "joke." They were told to stop lying and trying to attack me.
One day, they had the audacity to blurt out, while in a giftshop owned by someone we both know, "She's a thief, she's always stealing from me!"
And when he did it, everyone started looking at me weirdly as though they wondered if I might be shoplifting.
I lost my temper and confronted him, demanding he stop lying for attention and apologize to me immediately for purposefully trying to humiliate me in public. I put him on the stop to embarass him for his shitty behavior.
Again tried to claim he was "just joking" and I told him that only an idiot would be stupid enough to think saying that about someone in a _store_ is "funny" because it basically comes off as intentionally trying to get someone into trouble.
I told him to look around and notice how everyone in the store, including the owner, felt uncomfortable and concerned. People don't say things like that unless they are trying to play mind games with people for their own, sick "entertainment."
He abruptly left the store, and I apologized for his bad behavior to the owner. She said it was weird for him to say such a thing, and that she was a bit offended he did that to me.
On the ride back to the house, I shared her comment with him and told him I will not tolerate his attacks on me, especially in public.
We rode home in silence then. The next day, he avoided me, which was just fine. The following day, he acted like nothing had happened.
Typical narc behavior.
honestly, if they do not outright steal, they find a way to get it, they have NO morals whatsoever, I have never known a narc who didn't manipulate or steal in "legal" ways to get what they want. pretending to care and all the while scamming to get the goods of this elderly woman *my old neighbor (she did get it all too). my "golden monkey" brother moved in on my mother and spent her money while saving his pension and SS and living off her for years, we were not allowed to see or visit, he turned the police away at the door as he had been a cop (not a good one but for "power") so he had a badge, and we don't even know what happened to her in the end. he was / is a narc. my niece manipulated my mother who was frail and had dementia and could be pressured, did just that, pressured her to change her will to leave everything to HER. but it's "legal", right? it says so on the paper, right? and so on and on and on. I have many, many stories and all thieves, one way or the other. "the ends justify the means" for them. no ethics, no morals at all and certainly not God.......@@thomashenshallhydraxis
My mom never raised me , but she wants me to care for her in her old age, she is insane , the sight of her make me vomit . Omg
My father was a narcissist too. He was a mean nasty person. He destroyed family relationships and lives. When he died we cried tears of joy and not grief. It was like being released from hell... literally.
Aye, your dad has Ligma
They get worse with age
I’m finding that true, my mother just turned 88. She no longer sees, nor talks to me. Just holiday greetings, only.
It’s heartbreaking, but I finally am at peace about it.🎚⚓️
Alot of them seem to get dementia
@@cca3422Same here at 50 years old. My mom is 81 but I see her maybe once a year and I no longer talk to my three siblings from what I call my ex-FOO. (Family of origin)
They fly out to see me annually but they no longer invite me to the Thanksgiving or Christmas functions like they be used to because I stood up to my scapegoating siblings 8 years ago. As the saying goes, "It's better to be alone than in bad company!"
It was a process that started 8 years ago and like yourself, I'm so much more at peace that I do not have fake relationships like those any longer in my life.
PS--not everyone who becomes virtually alone is a narcissist. Some are SMEAR CAMPAIGNED upon SCAPEGOATS
Who?
"It doesn't make sense" was the most important sentence in this episode. I spent years trying to make sense out of the insanity coming at me, feeling like it was just barely out of my grasp, and unwilling to admit that it was just gaslighting insanity and wasn't supposed to make sense.
@@jbrown2908 The freedom after going no contact was AMAZING.
My narc and I could’ve had such a wonderful life. He made great money (and so did I, even though he undermined my career) and I did everything else, was a fantastic cook, great entertainer, I’m not hideous… It always blows my mind how jealous his friends were of what he had, not just me, but everything, but it was never enough. More more more gluttonous more. He took absolutely zero pleasure in simple things. Never wanted to just look at the stars, or enjoy snuggling, or doing something spontaneous. Just a lump of miserly, lazy nothing.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I'm so glad you figured that part out. For me, that was one of the hardest things to deal with...
You expressed it well too!
Good luck, fellow survivor!
@dontbeadogsbody3564 Years hey are empty vessels who leach onto you for a personality they don't have. Literally, I honestly think I "fell in love" with an ex because it was actually me he mimicked back at me! It was like I fell in love with my own traits! That there was never really anything there. It was all in my head, the person is thought was in front of me. It was a fraud in front of me. My mother was the same only she married him and lived with him for 40years. A man she thought loved her to the day she died,when in fact he was a fraud. Her whole life with him was a lie he wasn't the person she thought he was.
I'm glad I'm not the only one to "wish" the narcissist to pass on, I've been feeling like a horrible person. Thank you for making this video. He asked me why I'm still around, my answer was cause nobody else will put up with your bull crap! I've even told him I will train my replacement, all that did was piss him off. I walked out of the room, I have/ had other things to do.
😂😂😂😂 . . .
I have a narcissist 95 Yr old mother in law, who is very spiteful and makes life hell ! the world has to revolve around her . We will get our life back when she passes on 👍
My narc DID die about a year and a half ago. I had gone no-contact ten years before but I never felt completely safe until I got the news. There was always the off chance the monster was going to pop out from behind the curtain and go after me again. Can you imagine being the person whose legacy is massive relief that you're finally dead?
I didn't want to move again but was forced to, 6 times have I since getting the boot at 17, so when asked why I stayed I replied where am I to go? Narc mom would have liked me to live with her, even inherited the house but I'm not that desperate to get away, love yourself 1st it's what's important!
@@dnwittedon't have to imagine, living it also, I fear dementia diva whose finally locked up with no phone gets one and calls, the ultimate scam artist!
This is describing my entire family of “adults.”
They sucked the life out of us kids, and yet we were feeling shameful for being RELIEVED when they finally died after their long, dramatic, soap opera demise.
Thank you again for exposing these fraudulent, nasty people.
I was also wondering if I was wrong for being glad my biological dad died.
After finally escaping my narcissist , I am so happy, so at peace.
Not willing to get remarried because I am not willing to be a nurse or a purse to any old man.
I am able to do things other people only dream about. I am working on moving to another state and plan on buying a small house. I should have enough left over to do some traveling.
Dont need a man, dont want a man.
"They can't fake patience anymore" Well said.
My father did the same. He even questioned my abilities as a growing boy, cursed my relationship, cheated on my mother, used trauma and extreme pain to me and my mother, abused physically and mentally day and night for years, gave us diseases, fears and all the problems of the world, and finally left us one day for another woman.
This is just a part of my life.
Jesus that's hard.
It must be horrible. That is their ultimate goal to leave you with problems and illness. I also fought a long time to avoid my narcissistic parents make me ill but they won in part that I made a mistake with career choice, experienced unemployment in my young adult life due to the recession, being an introvert, autistic, and with ADHD that put me at a disadvantage to become financially independent. They undermined me and sought to make me ill. I am ill now but money is no longer a problem for me and they can no longer make threats of making me homeless or putting me in jail. Though I am sick now and I am recovering years of life that I lost due to them.
I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you have found a way to move on.
Blessings and healing to you. You are beautiful.
Same exact story here. When my parents split, I was 16 and it was the happiest day of my life.
I saw this first hand. My wife and I helped a lonely old widow from our church and she accused us of being after her money. I couldn’t take the abuse anymore and finally left her on her on. Wish I saw this video a few years back, this old lady was exactly as described. You live you learn.
My aunty resembles this ignore her totally pray I never get to go to her funeral...
Same thing happened to me when I started helping an old neighbor lady. I started doing things for her and she kept asking me to do more for her. Her son, who only lived a mile away seldom visited her. She started yelling at me and I was finally done with her. She kept calling me leaving angry messages but I just ignored her.
@@mrsmucha problem with me is I answered the messages and I foolishly came when she called.
People that have nobody have already burned all their bridges. It should be a red flag when they say they have no family, relatives or friends to help them.
Just to say, ...yes...my mother was jealous/envious of me. She was always ready to take away my joy ( using different methods ). I never knew what to expect daily, but...I knew it would be something. This is how millions of children live.
That is how I lived. Always on edge. Trying to read her mood. Living in fear. When you relax she attacks.
Some women should not be mothers. My mother was the same way. She also wanted to relive her childhood through me. When I protest and tell her no and Would stand up to her she would get histrionic even in public.
The most tragic element for a victim of a covert narcissist was not the atrocious, ungodly acts they’ve done to us. Not the gaslighting or the devious isolating.
It’s the fact that we the victims believed, forgave, remained loyal and loved them regardless of their sickly manipulation. We believed that if we persistently stood tall and firm for them, they’d eventually see us for who we were and abandon their heartless behavior. That they would come to finally realize and understand the friend they had in us.
Miss Daisy took a long time to see the friend she had in Hoke the chauffeur in “Driving Miss Daisy”. “Wind in his Hair” grew to understand that “Dances with Wolves” was not his enemy, but a fierce comrade he could count on and trust with his life. It finally hit Charlie Babbitt to shed his arrogance and find in Raymond an honest to goodness true brother in “Rain Man”. The covert narcissist will never have the capacity to feel or understand these beautifully human “Ah-ha”moments.
All we victims have to comprehend this fact if we want to heal and become a survivor.
Beautifully said! Thank you! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Very well said... My prayers are that their souls be saved and that they will look to the hills from Whence Cometh their help and know that their help comes from the Lord.... I still love my husband 😭😭😭😭
👏 So well said!
Stay free ladies! I love my life without him, the loser
Yes!!!
Right they are losers but living int thought of winners
I love this so much💕 perfectly worded
No disrespect to you under no circumstance but know that women are also narcissistic as well, It’s in both genders !! The sad thing is narcissistic people once was an innocent loving child that had to shield him/her self from some extreme trauma in order to survive in the way they only knew how to !! Suppressing every emotion or empathy in them in that thought to be safe place in there brain trapped there very being in captivity and they’ve lost who they were !! There is help for them if they can manage to mustard the ability to accept that they have a problem!! They can actually be healed through the power of the Holy Spirit where God saids it will renew the spirit and regulate the mind setting the captives free !!!!! Keep your selves safe and just pray for them !!!!!!
My narc father died a year ago, and yes, he got exponentially worse over the last years. Having so much close contact in the end brought back all the crap from my childhood I had either forgotten about or tried to put behind me. Now I feel relief instead of grief that he is gone (which creates a lot of guilt), but because I feel more damaged by trauma than I ever would have thought, I can't find peace because he lives louder in my head than he ever did when he was alive. He also managed to betray me once again with my brother's help just a few years ago -- driving a deep wedge between us -- and it seems he continues to try to shape my life from the grave, leaving a mess behind that I will probably spend the rest of my life cleaning up. These content providers and forums with people having similar experiences helps. Thanks.
Always fight in life struggle is the sign of life , worship god and then bless will come.
In utter dark one match stick is enough to come out of darkness.
You have described the details of my situation exactly, except it was my mother who was this way. I don't think I will ever get over her final betrayal. I miss my brother. We were friends growing up. Of all of the things she did to me, losing my brother's love and respect was the worst. I am 61now, and glad I'm on my way out of here! She made my life hell.
You have a chance at peace now. Don't give him one more minute of your life. He took enough. He crushed you, a child sent from God. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Reclaim yourself one baby piece at a time. You can come through. Peace and prayers.
Get rid of that guilt ! My narc father died 30 years ago- he absolutely poisoned my only full sibling against me .. and for that I am sorry .she followed in his footsteps)… BUT him ? I only very infrequently even think about him , and I am relieved that he can no longer hurt me . I miss my mother ( who also died 30 odd years ago ) every day ! But him … naaah… he did his best to destroy everything about me … so my best revenge now is living well … and forgetting him most of the time … which is a victory !
You described it well their end goal. Narcissists want to leave you with problems even when they are not their. They seek to haunt you. I have self-sabotaged myself throughout my life, in my studies and in my work, because I hear their narcissistic mental abusive comments in my head. I also realized later why my mother was intentionally stunting me with food and why my father was preventing me from becoming strong when I was 16 to 20. They did not want me to grow as a man. My father was fearful that I would become too strong that I would be able to defend myself and my mother and sister, though they became narcissists from the conditioning and brainwashing.
#2 my mom always assumes my capabilities are same as hers. Like she wasn't a weak old lady and I have trained to be strong. It's completely nuts! She also was always green with envy of my body!
Getting old is hard to anyone, but especially to narcs.
I witnessed this also with other narcs (whom I of course attracted ) who are decades older than me. They seek to see us as "the same". They refuse to see that I'm so much younger than them. Crazy.
I don't want to become this type of crazy person myself.
They try to assume and hijack your self and identity
yes, my narc brother once said he could lift the same weight as me (they were jealous i could throw my nephew in the air) and his wife piped in and said "yes, we just haven't had the training." As though they had been unfairly excluded from some secret class on how to do push-ups. 😂
The jealousy is unbelievable! My job, my looks, my accomplishments, anything and everything that she never was. My narc mother passes almost 2years ago now, but I'm still dealing with all the hurt and pain she caused me, and probably will for a long time to come. I pray that anyone that goes through this heals quickly. God bless you all ❤️🙏🏻
I repaired HVAC at a care home long ago and there was this one very spiteful and demanding patient who was a former police officer but who got a massive infection and became a multiple amputee. He constantly yelled demands at the nurses and one of the Caribbean nurses responded to him in a singsong voice "Or what, you going to arrest me, beat me? Come on, get up from your bed and beat me with your police stick". And all of the other nurses laughed while the man wailed in defeat. Very fitting torment for that guy. I don't even know him but from the way he was yelling at the caretakers I knew what kind of person he is.
I’m an empath and what I see is a person who is suffering incredibly and hopelessly. It breaks my heart people live and feel this way all their life. I was abused by narcissists and would never support or defend them EVER, but take a step back and look at them. They are very sad beings. I’m still healing from my past and thank God I finally figured out what happened to me and pray to be free of the symptoms soon. What these people inflict on others is lifelong. Also so very sad.
I agree with you. It's sad when you realize they've never known how to be happy and alienated everyone around them. But no contact is the only way to be free of them.
Your comment is very true. I am still trying to heal and by God's grace I will. Revelation 21:4 gives encouragement to endure because the best is yet to come.
I agree with you! No more relations with a man. I desire
to have a peaceful and happy life! I have older children and grand children to love! 😍😊❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
My Mom's brother was also a narcissist and he was always trying to date much younger women. My grandmother would always suggest women to him that would be nice to date, in his own age range and he was disgusted by this. The last "relationship" he had before he died was an on again off again thing with what started off as a 17 year old girl. He was in his 60's. He saw no problem with this. His "friends" were 2 young men in their early 20's but the friendship started when these kids were seniors in high school I think. It blows your mind.
I have always struggled with managing money, and I've often thought it was because I was never allowed to have any responsibilities involving money. My mother and family was very controlling. I was only allowed to have certain "jobs", such as babysitting or doing chores for my grandparents, thus I would never have a larger amount of money to do anything and would always have to grovel to them if I wanted to do something. My mother would always say "I'm not driving you anywhere, and you're not borrowing my car either". My sister was smarter, she got a waitressing job, and would walk to and from even at night just so she could have a life. They do want to keep you stuck, childish, and dependent, that way you can't escape them. To this day I would rather cut out my own tongue than to ask my mother for money.
Wow.. It just clicked I lived that.. My dad always said he didn't want to put miles on the car.. Yet 35 years later he runs the roads.. It was about control. So instead I baby sat and almost all the "father's" were perves trying to hit on me as they drove me home.
Narcissists are children who never grow up. They want to have the highground over you and when you're an adult they will try to keep you in your place. You can never know anything more than them or better them. I'm 69 with a 96 year old mother who to this day does not allow me to voice my own opinions.
They will disrespect you till the day they draw their last breath.
It was only very recently that I realized my husband was a narcissist. We have been married 10 years and have not had sex for 8 of those. I just woke up about 4 months ago. and now I plan my escape. I made every single excuse for him. We went to couples therapy where he openly admitted that he never loved him and was never in love with me...now 1 year and 9 months later i am planning to divorce him.. i honestly don't know how or why i stayed with him.. Through studying narcissism I came to realize my mother is a narcissist as well and pretty much all of my siblings! I really had no name for any of this and I punished myself for years trying to figure out why my mom and siblings hated me...wow!
A part of my brain is convinced that Danish low-key knows my entire family...
Same here
All of my brain is convinced, cannot believe it, he knows every member of the family i married into
Lol, same here.
😅
that's because it's so prevalent
Shortly before my narc died, I was terrified that he was going to do something horrible. This went on for a very long time. He was mentally unstable, and full of rage. Delusional, paranoid, and totally disintegrating. What you are describing is EXACTLY what I witnessed in my narc. This stage is truly terrifying. But we need to understand it so that we can reverse the CPTSD that they have inflicted on us.
My father is in an old age home. He's a malignant narcissist. But he is so sweet and polite and keeps his cool and imaginary high ground as he makes his son feel terrible.
I have an old narcissistic neighbors and she pays people to walk her dogs but no one can stay for a long period because the constant verbal abuse. Her adult children and doctors say she has dementia or Alzheimer's disease but she has a great memory. I guess they say it to not admit she's unbearable.
The kids are narcissistic too...enablers.
Does she live in Australia
Paranoia does get worse over time.
Boy it sure does!My narc father would literally close the curtains at 3:00PM even in the summer out of fear that "bad people" would 👀 in through the 🪟s at him despite the fact that the 🪟s were all way off the ground even🤪.
@@malwads1836 Mine used to shut all the shutters in the house even upstairs so the house was always dark. I would open them and he would close them again I didn't understand why he was doing this. Your response may be his reason.
Thank heavens for people like you, who have helped through this maze of narcissistic people.❤❤❤❤
The older they get the WORST they get... he's out of my life now.. I have been CELIBATE 17 yrs at the age of 37 now 56 going on 18 years of CELIBACY..n going to keep that way
Can anyone else sense that awful energy they give off? Sometimes, strangers will exit a room sharpish when they look at me! It’s like that demon inside of them knows. I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it; huge paradigm shift happening folks.
2024 is the year of Karma.
Keep shining your light!!! 🙌♥️
I know what you are talking about.. its like they see me and it says to them.. You know I know. I had to stand in line with one of them for 45 mins and it rolled off this person who was ahead of me. I literally developed a headache. Stress went up right away.. and there was no way to shut this man up.
My husband has this evil aura about him he’s so nasty and I think it’s why he smells but it’s a smell that comes from inside.
Totally agree. I think we're having a collective reckoning with institutional and media narcissism
Please do a show that helps survivors deal with the lack of "justice" after the narc moves on. Many thanks!
The absolutely worthless court system and the no-fault divorce? The narc in my life is so greedy and selfish. I’m sure he is socked away all kinds of things over the 26 1/2 years we were married and whatever he’s telling me about is I’m sure just a very small portion, which he is also trying to steal. We not only live in a pathocracy, it truly is a demonic realm at this point. The worst people are getting away with everything in every single aspect of life and nobody is doing anything about it. Only now do all my friends and family tell me they didn’t like my husband from the start. Thanks. Thanks for having my back. 😕 my mom was a narcissist. His mom was a narcissist. I wish I hadn’t wasted my life with him. It would’ve been really fun to of been with someone who loved me and actually wanted to do things and make a life as a couple together. But my narc was apparently always only looking out for himself.
Yes! This so much! My narc foster mother sa me and I have ptsd from it. Plus depression and anxiety. Any a few illnesses that were preventable.
On top of that people were encouraging me to see my abuser in a positive light. She was never brought to justice not even for the sa.
I have anger deep inside of me due to that injustice.
@@danika9411 I'm slowly making myself let go, but it has often been a "2 steps forward, 1 step back" journey. Learning more about what was really going on - through a lot of videos here - has really helped me make some progress. Hopefully, you can find some peace as well. God bless you!
My therapist advises that my “justice” is that I made it well beyond the development of an emotional four old unlike both my parents. With hard work I can treat my CPTSD and toxic traits I recruited to survive my neglectful childhood. What confuses me is how these types are so fluid socially and intellectually. My parents owned two businesses. Only in my fifties do I now notice the many one dimensional people walking the earth who lack emotional depth to be able to empathize and experience intimacy. I do feel sorry for them in way from a distance. They kick ass at work as they aren’t slowed down by empathy like most people. It’s fascinating but also can lead to me focusing on them which is a problem. 💜
"Justice is the purview of Heaven"...please be kind to yourself, that is the only justice we will find here
Your words are 101% relatable and authentic
Danish, you have helped me piece together my life. I just wanted to say Thank you.
My Father just passed, sadly never showing love to anyone...we were just Humans to be used. You are describing his end of life years exactly.
You make some great points Danish. As a therapist also working with victims of narcissistic abuse, one of the things Ive noticed is that narcissists live a very very long time - relative to empathic people. Narcissists can unfortunately survive for decades and continue to cause endless suffering during these years of demise. Waiting for a narcissistic parent to die, is a common and tragic response from children of narcissists.
BSE I think they are so selfish and vampires. They take and never give so their energy runs not as fast as let’s say a normal empath
Every video on narcissism states the same. They will suffer, either they themselves or their close ones in similar circumstances. God's messengers will arrange this. Sometimes we can stand back and watch the narcassist completely fall. My story is similar to those who have suffered. I married without Knowing a covert narcissist. I suffered physically mentally emotionally and financially. My son did too. 30 years on, my ex who was once a bully, controlling and loved only his money is now alone, depressed, disabled and lives his life, at the age of 77, with no interaction, friends and is need of operations which he can't have due to his greed and obesity. A man who once controlled companies and ripped people off to finance his businesses is reduced to a shadow of his former self, alone and living in one room struggling to walk and battling his own demons. Narcissists are eventually found out and do suffer at the end of their life.
Lord, my ex narc will be 70 this year,, only exemption is he’s not fat ! Oh and he’s not living in one room as of yet.
This is why money and possessions are so important to a narc. All my husband buys is ball caps, golf paraphernalia, yeti cups, hand jobs and God only knows what other sex services, food, alcohol, tasteless media, but he needs every possible cent he can scavenge because he knows that’s the only thing he has left to attract anyone.
My heart goes out to you.
Can you get out of this abusive marriage?
@@carpediem6431 In the process. Every time I get frustrated with how soul sucking the divorce process is (when nobody in the court system acknowledges this type of person, even though they’re obviously everywhere, specially in divorce court), I remember how soul sucking the marriage experience was. Trying to extricate myself as quickly, and not as penniless as possible.
@@dontbeadogsbody3564 I wish you the best. Good luck. The struggle will be worth it when you are free.
@@carpediem6431Yes. Thank you. 😊
Couldn't take it anymore, have a disabled child, also n can t do both by myself..had my narc mother placed in a home. We have occasional contact with her, what a monster.. still trying to" punish" me. Yep.. jealous, spiteful, hateful. Keep telling myself.. she s where she needs to be. Now it s time for me.
So true. The upside of the downside is that, now, when people see what that person is really like, they don't judge you anymore for having let her down, even if she is your own mother. There are limitations to sacrifice, we shouldn't sacrifice our own life to one of our parents.
I’ve been told my whole life by my parents and my cousins that I owe my parents. Only realized a few days ago how much I have sacrificed for them which is my entire life thus far. I just want peace.
What about the chrildren that have been abused in institutons that are left with such physical & emotional scars that they have the bottle or a needle in their arm for a minutes peace; or the ones that were murdered ,or didn't make ir ? The church people dont want to ackowledge that though even today ! Carn't speak out againts the churches?! Really?Then there are the chrildren that are told by their cruel narc Mother's that they "wished they never had them"? l was told that at age 10.I did all her messages on her whim,cleaned the bathroom to her liking each week or else do it again totally.Cleaned up the whole kitchen after dinner after school .
which left school homework undone. Washed & polished my Father's car each fortnight.Did the lawn on the other weekend.She also demanded presents - that I knew I would forfeit my 20 c pocket money to provide bc& I went hungry at school at 10 years of age .The kind Nun would give me extra milk as she saw how thin & how I would look longingly at the salad roll's on tuck shop day with my mouth was watering.I was told on my 5th birhday, that I was old enough to to do her shopping now .I wondered how on Earth to get to the shop? I was simply told not to get into cars with men ,& not to.talk to strangers & what she wanted. to.the letter.Later when older 16 /17 she would accuse me of inappropriate behaviour & rage on for ages if 10 minutes late home on the bus from work? I was too old fashioned for that!!I even hitched hiked for 2 months to get them two sets of crockery (as we were so poor looked down upon & unnessarrily) even though girls were going missing & murdered at that time. .Both parents never stopped me - although I was hurt that they didn't after the first box of crockery.The boy upstairs was terrified & warned me, but I pressed on for them & their betterment. At that time too ,my Mother hated my boyfriend from.school & threatened to.put me in the ,'bug house' if I didn't stop seeing him;& marched me to the Social worker to do so.. The Social worker was beyond horrified .I gave them everything.Forced to sell my cheap house to buy a better one for them - which I did & got a morgage whilst 'they,' decided too & fro if they would live there or not for 5 & half years as I toiled to improve it with my Father ? I bought it for them . Finally, after asking permission to have a morning coffee with a gentlman at age 49 as I scrubbed my Mother's floors one moening & being told no ! After,being a slave to them both & seeing a crash coming like '29' in 2002 soon for 2008.I sold up & had to move far away to purchase a house.I still suppported them & bought them.a lovely car soon after the sale so as they would't 'look poor' - that was nearly as much as the house & I had to walk on a broken leg for two half years to provide..it was excruciating.. & I cpuld have lost my leg.I nursed them both til.their deaths.They realised as they went down hill suddenly. Mum with dementia & immobile, & my Father blind,just how' dependable,' I was .
Next Narc arrives in the shape of a boyfriend & was utterly cruel, dishonest & horrible, hurting my beautiful dog Hetty & myself on every level physical,emotional, financial ,& with typical untrue gossip abuse 20 years on now.I dont want to look for the good in people no matter their position nor how pious & religious they appear to be as it is not the truth.So very shocked ,hurt & disappointed in the human race as a whole.Look at all the Wars & the death chambers...On & on it goes. One has to be stronger than strong to survive these creatures.I say to anyone if you see unfair ,& preposterous behaviou's ,& if your not broken totally RUN & GIVE THEM NO QUARTER, as some learn when too late, when your nearly an invalild yourself..& many recalcitrant dont.The Bible says never help an evil man(.no.doubt woman ),as your reward will be 7 fold. I have many sad memories,injuries,broken bones & immune disorders to endorse that. God has intervened & protected me ,but I am here now at 70 with a life of disbelief & sadness. Please Take heed.God Bless.
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@@cjvklhortonfamily5 i wish this peace to you with all my heart. You deserve it.
You described my father in a nutshell. As he has grown older, the paranoia, and rage, and emotional outbursts are just on another level. I first cut ties with him about 8 years ago, eventually my mother and siblings saw him for who he was and went no contact as well 2 years ago. We are all better off without him.
My dad on his dying bed still a child who did not want to go...still never found himself...may he rest in peace.
That's sad
Aww that's so sad..
❤️🩹💔💔 that is sad 😔 It’s sad it Seems they
they’re doomed . Makes me wonder why God would allow this .
What a doomed life they live
@@Seraphim7 this is a fallen world and is ruled by satan. That's why God allows it to happen. These people all had free will to choose and those chose hatred and pain.
I fear my mother, in her late 70s, is going to be the same situation.
It breaks my heart that my dad passed just as we were starting to like each other for the first time in my life. Growing up, our house was always in some kind of tragedy or uproar, and my mom had me believing it was because of my dad.
Looking back, I now see that it was her all along. I also found out that I, being first born, was the child used to trap my father into marriage.
I feel like I survived my childhood, emotionally speaking, as my mother will point out that we were always provided for.
💯Aging is the narcissists worst enemy. This is currently my ex brother in law. He can’t even use his money to get supply now because his reputation precedes him & no one wants to deal w/him.
My narc had rage just below the surface that almost anyone can sense, but he came from a very repressed, rural, Swedish German background, so there were a lot of repressed things that of course caused problems for him later in life, because he never learned how to self soothe. His superpower is restraint, so he always looks like an even keel, dependable guy. What a liar.
@@dontbeadogsbody3564that sounds like my deceased full Italian m last husband. Everyone thought he had it under control. But he saw everything as a personal slight, an insult. It was trauma just talking to him to stop him from imploding and hurting himself or others.
Aging is everyone's enemy, it has nothing to do with narcissism.
@@devilsoffspring5519 Aging doesn’t have to be an enemy. It’s a natural part of life. It’s how you’ve taken care of your body, maintained your social garden, lived your life That determines how harsh the aging experience will be. Aging can be a wonderful time. Lots of wisdom. Slowing down, enjoying and reflecting on things that you never had time to do before. Moving into a different role. But narcs only have one way of being in the world and because they do not develop any wisdom, they do not learn to accept or enjoy any of these changes.
@@devilsoffspring5519 Aging is a natural part of life. It doesn’t have to be an enemy. It all depends on how you lived your life, took care of your body and maintained your social garden. If he’s lived a life where lots of your bad deeds are going to come knocking, yes, aging is bad. But aging is also a time of great wisdom and reflection. You are able to think about, do and reflect on things you’ve never had time to do before. However narcs have no restraint, so they’ve likely abused their bodies And never learned how to take responsibility for caring for their body, they left that up to their supply. They dislike people, because everyone is competition, unless they are supply, So they do not have the kinds of friendships that help support the transition from aging to death. They’ve lived an unscrupulous, oftentimes disgusting life and unfortunately because they’ve had no interests outside of vices, in their old age, they must sit alone and be reminded of all of the things that made them alone now.
Yes they reap as they sew. I've been fortunate in watching the come up once
Thanks for uploading this! I just realized that my aunt is a narcissist who in her old age suddenly became super invested in me and began helping me after not interacting with me my entire life because she is growing old, lonely, and sicker as the years pass and she has alienated everyone with her behavior. She was dressing me up in her old clothes and trying to convince me to do things that I didn't want, trying to keep me from going to the dr when I broke a bone-- all to control me and vicariously live through me because she can't do it anymore. When she realized she can't project onto me and that I'm my own person she had a meltdown, started picking fights with me, getting involved in my business, asking me if I locked doors to keep her out when I'm just in the bathroom trying to shower, trying to pry into my personal life to figure out what traumas I have and even asking if I'm suicidal. She eventually kicked me out and followed me to my car to scream at me. I now realize that I was being emotionally abused, however briefly. I was just an extension of herself and never a real person to her, and having my own goals really triggered her.
Absolutely 👍 Hope you came out of this narcissistic "game" 💐🧙
I remember my dad used to say stuff like "Okkk, mom. Relax mom. Not around the grandchildren mom" to his malignant narcissist mother. Now, he's entering that same point in his life and I'm having to say the same stuff to him, my malignant narcissist father. Fortunately, that won't happen to me. I was the scapegoat of the family, I'm a decent person, and got the heck out! No contact for 5 months. The most peaceful and fulfilling 5 months I've ever had!
I had 25 miserable years with my NH - he got so much worse as he aged (more verbally and physically abusive) He got himself in some trouble and ended up in prison where he died of a heart attack.
Oh my goodness. I hope you have a fulfilling life
@@JS-il9nw its been a journey but it is more peaceful. Thank you!
My story is similar. But he’s still alive. Although your story gives me hope and inspiration. A girl can dream. 😊
Mine survived quadruple CABG, sceptic shock, serious knee and shoulder injuries etc but his miserable end will come soon.
Good
My grandmother was an narcicistic alcoholic, I remeber her how she frighened me when I was in the kindergarden. 25 years later when she had her final months I enjoyed telling her I will be happy when she is gone.
😁 Wish I would have had that courage.
hahaha...I'm happy for you :)
@@tabletsam5624 i pray You will feel loved by someone in Your life, it doesn't have to be Your parents.
And i hope Your parents will be also good, we can only pity them and wish them improvement cause narcs are not very happy in life.
Oh wow you rock made my day! I leave mine alone, I just send cards but it's really for the staff!
My mother used to chase me through the house with a knife in one hand and a mason jar in the other. She said she was going to chop me up and stuff me in it. I remember sitting in the hall closet and sobbing. Probably 8 or 9 yrs old. She hated me through adulthood.
That is so so true about older men narcs chasing young woman I myself was a victim of a sixty five year old man who targeted me age fourty . And what is the sickest is he would flirt with younger woman than me in twenty’s right in front of myself where it was not innocent flirting but hey I want you in my bed flirting. It was so so so recognizable to everyone one around. I would call him out about it and he would say iam insane to think such things. Gaslighting the crap out of me. Your not going to make me admit of doing something wrong I know that I wasn’t it.
It might have been my Dad 😅
😅
Glad you recognized the nastiness and sickness. Hopefully you got out after the first few times you saw the behaviour.
My career was centered around Veterans with dementia, and I can say you are spot on. Fortunately they were a member of someone else’s family, and not mine. I loved my work but could never have done it if they were my family members. I went home at the end of my day. Most of my patients were further along in the dementia progression so they really couldn’t help doing what they did. The narcs were easy to identify…..
Again spot on. I'm 72 now and prefer my own company with my dogs. I trust no one fully. I have good interactions with strangers in reallife, but never ger involved. I think the latest "trick" played on me has actually strengthened me.
This is unfortunatelly familiar to me. I have to take care of old narc parents. It's like living in quick sand. 😢 Narcs won't really become better when they get old.
Sending love to anyone in same awful and draining position ❤ fighting for their sanity.
How are we supposed to "seek support" when nobody around us will help us? All they want to do is either hold up the previous delusions of the narcissists or just edge away as fast as they can. Happened with the plumber this morning (whose family has been a longtime friend of the family).
I, too am in this position with my elderly narc parents. They will constantly team up against me to degrade me, stick their noses up at me, say and do cruel things. It never ends😢😢😢
Much love to you 💜 My elderly narc parents discarded me 4yrs ago 🎉 Hallelujah, praise the Lord 🙏 They and my narc sister deserve each other 😈
Oh my, I too am caught up in all this, reconize so much of all said here. Sad to see how many we are who suffer, and the narcs are all the same :/
Sending love to you all stay strong! ❤
@@amarbyrd2520MOVE AWAY!
How timely for my situation, I am witnessing this exactly, the narc in my life is 80 yrs old and this is just what I am seeing. Thank you. So validating for me.
WOW! Thank you for confirming this! My sister was ALWAYS nasty, and got WORSE, so I can't IMAGINE how she'll be when she is old! I don't want to be around her to find out! 😮
Wow, you described exactly who my father was and exactly how he acted at the end. In the end, he had driven everyone away (including his 8 sibling) including me, his daughter. He was alcoholic, married 7 times (twice to the same women)and was always looking for what he could get out of every situation. At the end he even drove me away because he wanted to possess me. He was so jealous of other people in my life that he kept trying to buy my attention. He was I’ll and I was taking care of him but I also had a young son and my elderly mother that I was living with and taking care of. When buying me didn’t work he would hurt himself on purpose so that I would come running to his side. He put himself in the hospital 6 times in a 3 month period trying to get my attention. When that didn’t work to his satisfaction he got mean and accused me of stealing from him and calling me all kinds of names. I couldn’t take any more and I told him exactly what I had been wanting to say to him my whole life. So he told me I was no longer his daughter. So I hung up the phone and called my uncle and begged my uncle to come get him, so he did. Needless to say I never spoke to my father again. One day my uncle called and told me my father had died in an convalescent hospital. I didn’t want things to end that way 🥺😢but there was just no reasoning or talking to him.
Yes you definitely nailed the oldass narcissist. I haven’t spoken to a grandmother in 14 years but I was told how mean and horrible she was till the very end of her miserable old life here on earth. She was a narcissist to the core and once I stopped speaking to the narcissistic people that were my family is when I began to find peace and real actual love for myself and ended up finding out about narcissism and it confirmed my knowing of the demons inside of them. Peace and true joy and happiness can be yours again when you leave your narcissistic family and or friends behind. I know this from experience. I slept in my car in parking lots for a longtime by myself alone until I found my feet again. Worth every second for sure. 😊
Thank you Danish. I really appreciate your channel and you for helping me understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My boyfriend has this Disorder and it is very frightening to me. Especially the violent rages and threats to my life. I'm hoping to get out soon before I lose my mind.
Leave. In silence. Best of luck
Basically a toddler with those rages. Tell him to grow up! Get out in secret! He might want to stop you. Have a trusted person with you in case he stops up.
You may have to leave a lot of possessions behind..better that than your sanity or your life!
Leave quietly. Have a good plan and a plan in place so you can STAY gone. Ex. Make sure you're not a position that you need his money or support for anything. Make sure your family/friends/support are on your side and let them in on the plan.
Quietly gradually set back 💰 in a safe place he doesn't know about, it'll help you escape more comfortably.
I told my Alcoholic narcissistic boyfriend I was going to the shop that was a year ago I never went back.Get out while you can that's my advice x
Danish always smashes it out of the park! Laser sharp observations and detailed explanations. Thank you for giving us your well crafted insight!
You described my oldest brother exactly with one difference; he played the part of 'nice/cool guy' with co-workers and neighbors while being his narcissistic evil self to his relatives and anyone he thought inferior that he could use without exposing himself. He married a girl 26 years younger than him and made her life a living hell. He made my life as much a hell as he could as I was growing up (he was 10 years my senior). Happily, he committed suicide in Jan 2000 just before his 55th birthday. I'm not shedding crocodile tears over his death as he was truly a monster and destroyed the lives of everyone he could, especially his daughter who became a drug addict and a prostitute. And he didn't care. His behavior made me think he was a psychopath and he might have had a tendency to be one, but not all the way. Anyway, I'm glad he's been dead for the last 24 years and I wish I understood what a narcissist was 50 years ago. I would have ignored him and stayed away from him.
I'm done with men! I'm 62 and I'd rather have a dog. They know how to love unconditionally and are better company.
Me too!!!!
I’m 22 and I feel the same way I said I’d rather have a dog or cat😢
@@aaliyah6402 I'm sorry, you're 22? I hope someday that you will find someone who makes you happy. You deserve that.
Its frightening and sad all at the same time. I know someone like this. He's currently in prison and I went to see him because I felt sorry for him after reading his sad delusional (paranoid) letters. He nearly wrecked my life ten years ago! I thought he just needed someone to communicate with and I thought as he is in prison it was relatively safe to have contact with him but straight away he is trying to triangulate me with his wife. He see's himself as the victim and refuses to accept any responsibility for his behaviour for anything, including the reason he is in prison. Thank you for your video because it reminds me of just how bad they are. When you aren't around them anymore you tend to forget how vile they can be. Time is a healer but it can also causes your rose coloured spectacles to re-appear.
This is exactly how my monster-in-law is behaving. Her son (my hubs) and I stay far away. She wants him to toss me aside and cater to her only while his older brother lives with her free ans done so his entire life. My hubs told her no, he lives with you, he needs to do for you.
My mother had some unhealthy attraction to her mailman & she would make the most disgusting comments about him which I have to say turned my stomach & he was the same age as one of my brothers! So I can see parallels to this episode. I cut off all communication 6 years before she passed & she was so angry with me, she would leave scathing messages to me on my phone, screaming, yelling telling me it would be my fault if she has a stroke or heart attack & how dare me treat her like this, bla bla bla. She used my inheritance as the carrot & of course cut me off & was was even more infuriated that I told her I never wanted her money, it was so toxic, I’m surprised I’m not more damaged than I already am! I’m at peace!
Perhaps that's why my former friend has turned so very awful.
I praise God I am free from her now.
My mother has NPD a totally selfish manipulative bit of evil, nearing the end of her life. It’s like watching a pilot with a burning parachute falling to earth. I can’t wait for the end really. Great Channel, anyone just discovering your parents or family is a narcissist I wish you the best and remember you are not alone in this.
I loved that rabies analogy because I was raised by a narc and I felt it creeping in on me. I chose to change before it was too late.
I saw my father go through all of these stages in his final months and, together with my narcissistic brother and sister, he wrote me out of a significant part of his will despite me returning to be his primary carer. Since my father's death, I've been shunned by both my siblings but I see it as a blessing to be free from their toxic behavior.
Woah similar story shunt out of the will and did so much for the family.
Should of stayed away from my 2 narc siblings after the death of my dad.
I have a serious spinal injury spent 12 years rebuilding it.
The narc brother grabbed me on the spine and destroyed my mobility career path.. He's classed as mentally ill lives is supported living cannot be prosecuted.. Knew exactly what he planned to do.
Hate that he did this to me.
I'm glad I got out after 38 years. I live my best life and hope karma hits him.
"They suffer in so many ways." My. Heart. Effin'. Bleeds.... 🙄
Agree. Wah.
Lol 😂
I read it at the time he said it
...& when they croak......Time to break out the party hats🥳🤣!
My father has acted like he has dementia for about 45 years. I finally figured out he's a narcisist. I've heard the same stories repeated to anyone who will listen since I was a kid. He'll tell the same stories and never wants to listen to anyone else.
Oh yes I am the only care taker of my 80 year-old Narcissistic mother it's exactly as you describe. It's quite sad actually watching them loose their narcissistic potential , and ability to maneuver through situations ,their smearing is obvious their lying is obvious, even their lovebombing is ridiculously fake. It's like their once successful technics and meticulous manipulations are now all come out unorganized and messy for every one to see. It actually now becomes obvious how much all these behaviors are part of who they are . It is how they have learned to interact and communicate all their lives , with malignancy, lies, verbal abuse hypocrisy, blackmail, threats, belittling, comparing. It's like watching a professional swimmer trying to not drawn in water at old age.
A lot of this can happen if the person is not a narcissist but has suffered some sort of severe trauma.
This was super enlightening! Thank you❤
Perfect topic I agree ☝🏽
Im 73, divorced the EX 20 yrs ago. Cant trust any man. Im living alone with my cat dealing with my depression and PTSD.
I grow up with a narcissistic father very aggressive and physically and verbally abusive, i was very miserable dealing with depression, hate and suicidal thoughts, ending up very sick. About 7 years ago i give my life to Jesus , i accepted Him as my Lord and Savior , He healed my body and my soul, filled me with joy and peace. Please call on Jesus, He can do it for you as well. God bless you !
This is soooo ironic, you’re describing my mother looking for any reason to fight, beat me or put me down. I was 4 years old, and she was 22 and she was already making everyone miserable. I’ll be 40 next month, and wow you’re so on point. They are just bitter…