Your Brain is Sabotaging Your Dates

A friendly reminder to not blame yourself and focus on the actual problem, which isn't you. #dating #firstdate #gaydating
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[@Sco-Show]

Do you also beat yourself up when things don't go the way you want?

[@maxsupernova]

All the freaking time. But I’m getting better at it.

[@winchylovespie.3.133]

You are so real 😭 I miss this youtube

[@brygram]

ScoShow spot on. In a positive way, you understand the complexity of meeting someone you prefer. A suggestion would be to 'value range' potential mates based on your preferences, then to expand your viewpoint. Dates should be about the event: not an audition or interview; not decoding the other person.
For example; you might appreciate volunteer activities, spirituality, and strong work ethics.
After date three...
A bodybuilder might not be in range (narcissistic?), but if you think of bodybuilding as a strong workout ethic and having a degree of spirituality...a bodybuilder who volunteers at a local animal shelter, and treats you like a king... might now be in range.
Some people "bury the lead" on dates due to nervousness, shyness, or their preference to slowly disclose their best attributes.
What if he were rich? Would that make it difficult for him to date...like how could he determine if his dates liked him or his money?

[@razor3974]

I believe I hard something like that related to internal dialog at the end of the discussion between Andrew Huberman and Petter Attia on the Huberman Lab Podcast. It is timestamped "internal dialog" or something like that. The guy had also to process to an internal dialog reframing and the solution offered by the therapist worth the hearing ;)

[@Sco-Show]

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out!

[@freestyleandsmile]

I wasn't given much affection when I was a kid. Affection for me was when one of my parents spoke to me in a normal tone of voice. I was also bullied in school. The feeling of being worthless was strong for me for many years. I would turn down dates on the basis that I knew I wasn't good enough for them. Felt like I was running away from anyone getting to know me my whole life. That's also what kept me in the closet for so long because I felt it was just another thing that made me different and I felt different and alone and unlovable and I became a drifter running in and out of peoples lives. I'm 33 years old now and last year I came out to everyone I knew. Even made a facebook post. I've also shared how I felt about all of this out loud to a few people I know now which is huge for me to let someone else in my world. And I'm getting encouragement. I'm getting better and moving in the right direction. I admit to being too impatient at times but I know it'll take some time. 😊😊

[@Sco-Show]

I'm so happy for you! I've learned in the last few years with therapy that a lot of my reactions stem from things that happened in my childhood. Once I've been able to identify and acknowledge that I can then work on changing the behavior. Keep growing!

[@PhilCollectibles]

All the voices in my head always try to break me F me up and change me but talk is cheap this is the last time I listen to the voices in my head

[@the90schannel]

41 years old and I still wrestle with what you described in your video. I sit myself down and listen to Elena Brower’s monologue on Above & Beyond’s Flow State album and it gives me a nice reset

[@NativeNYker73]

Los Angeles is a city full of posers and players! Many gay men in the area are 10's looking for an 11 (see The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy for reference). Seriously though, I had many of those same types of encounters back in the day. What changed was not the men, but my approach to meeting them. I started going out for meetups as opposed to dates. That way, my focus was on an activity (I'm a huge foodie) or the scenery rather than...finding my soulmate in a city full of soulless succubants (sorry if that sounded a little bitter...I remain a NYker at heart and simply don't know how to fake the funk). It's actually how I ended up meeting my husband. As always, thanks so much for sharing...

[@Sco-Show]

Joining a club or group for an interest you have is a great way to meet like minded people! I joined Varsity Gay League to play kickball and it's been a lot of fun as well as expanding my social circles. Congrats to you and your husband!

[@dalemettee1147]

Scott, your a cute guy and I hope you find your other half.

[@Sco-Show]

Thanks for the kind words, Dale!

[@hermann-josefkauling4414]

Du sprichst viel zu schnell, also unwirksam, schade

[@Sco-Show]

Danke für die Kritik!