When you keep dating the wrong types of gay guys 🤦♂️
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
- Why do I keep dating the same types of gay guys!? I identified 2 types of men I've dated this year and spoiler alert, they're not great.
0:00 Intro
0:07 The first type
0:52 The confused man
1:52 The second type
2:35 The intimidator
3:32 Is there a third type?
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#gaydating #datingapps #datingtypes
Have you found yourself dating the same type of person?
Hi Scott, I'm Stephan. I'm sorry to hear your dating experiences didn't go well. I can relate because I've been trying to find a long-term boyfriend for the past few years and it's been difficult. I've never had a boyfriend before and I've never been on a date before. There were 5 guys I've tried to pursue a relationship with and each time there was a different reason the other guy had that prevented a relationship from happening between me and him. I discovered that I've been attracting guys who have an avoidant attachment style. My experience with the 5th guy happened a few months ago. I know I need to attract a guy who has a secure attachment style. In a few weeks I'm going to start online therapy with a gay therapist in order to figure out why I've been attracting guys who are avoidant and what I can do to attract a guy who's secure.
Hi Stephan! I've found the last few years working with a therapist to have been one of the best things I've ever done for myself. All the best on your journey!
@@stephanolbina2642 hi Stephan, I agree with Scott.
I came out of a 12 year relationship in 2018 and have purposely stayed single to work on myself.
I am finally at peace with understanding attachment styles and how they relate to personalities as well as being able to understand what actions mean to each.
For example:
- Empaths without healthy boundaries are very similar to pre occupied anxious attachment personality style. Both are people pleasers both have a fear of abandonment rejection or disapproval and both attract polar opposite personality types.
- Empaths with healthy boundaries are very similar to secure attachment personality types, both are emotionally intelligent, they regulate themselves as well as validate themselves. They do not have fears of abandonment rejection or disapproval nor do they experience anxiety from committing to another secure attached person. They attract similar personality types.
- Covert / Overt narcissism have similarities with fearful avoidant attachment personality styles, both are secretive when they feel less than and both can be demanding when they don’t get their way. They can be hot and cold with their partners because they have the fear of abandonment and they also have the fear of commitment at the same time. This group attracts anxious people and dismissive people, dating is not a good experience for this group.
For this group they also refer to it as disorganized attachment personality style because if a preoccupied anxious person dates a fearful avoidant, the fearful avoidant person will take on more characteristics of a dismissive avoidant personality type.
If a fearful avoidant personality style dates a dismissive avoidant personality style then the fearful avoidant picks up characteristics of a preoccupied anxious because they emotionally react to their partner instead of responding logically.
- Covert narcissism is similar to the dismissive avoidant attachment personality styles because they both have the fear of commitment (with an underlying fear of abandonment) this is very confusing for anyone dating this person because even though they have the underlying fear of abandonment they will NEVER show this to anyone. They put themselves out there as independent people but their pride never lets them relax and allows them to be themselves. This group usually only attracts anxious people only. It’s not fun for either party in this type of relationship.
Bottom line since you are new at this try to work on yourself throughly so you are a secure attached person or empath with healthy boundaries and you should attract another secure attached person as well.
Those who date the other attachment styles spend their lives trying to fix or hope that their partners will eventually change. It just doesn’t happen unfortunately.
Hope this helps
Great video, and you are very articulate. If I was around your age, I would have asked you out as you are my type. But, alas, I am old enough to be your grandfather - so in the meantime, keep your character as is and have a wonderful life. (PS: I have someone like you, and we have been together 34 years now)
I seem to always like a good fixer upper, then get frustrated because he doesn't want to be fixed (LOL). Finding your equal is difficult.
Hello from NYC! Great video and thanks for sharing. I see you were able to utilize your acting chops in this one! I hope all is well.
Thank you, hope you're doing well too!
I really related to this and I really appreciate you making this video ♥️♥️ I feel like I am starting to make progress in all things adulting and building up confidence in myself and even think about handling a healthy relationship
Thanks for the kind words, you got this!
Love the vids Scott you seem a sweet guy who has a lot of love to give, have to say though Star Wars beats Star Trek any day of the week.
Thanks for the kind words! (And I'm a Star Wars fan too, I like both franchises! 😉)
Just subscribed, you're interesting
I have never meet the same person but last week I meet with someone special BUT he tol me Im HIV + . What would you do?
I've been dating this guy for 5 years and he doesn't want to make a compromise of goon have a coffee or anything you make so many excuses just to meet up or anything and then he brags about his American friend who's in prison or something and the relation he has with him it's kind of putting I just chill out my straight friends and he gets hello jealous about it then you jokes with me to have a relationship with my siblings I'm more of a sensitive type of person really panicked Close already love the guy so I don't know what to do I don't know what to do you think I'm doing something wrong
Trekie 🥰
I am also a gay could you date with me
Maybe date outside your race
Well, maybe, or maybe not.....🤔
Guys am new here
And am looking for sugar mommy relationship
Am from Ghana
My name is Peter