I learnt in a hard way that people are different, due to my innocence , I shared a lot with people and expected people to share theirs with me , I wondered why people would not open up to me , but recently I learnt the power of silence , although I am still a work in progress , but being Silent brings respect and sanity to yourself . However, identify who is worthy to know your stuffs , choose who you talk to , you will be fine . Thank You Lucy, new subscriber here
hmm.. interesting.. well , if it's a man you're dating & are going in the direction of a serious , committed relationship , you should DEFINITELY talk about allllll of these , ESPECIALLY TRAUMA
Always serving knowledge!👏🏽 Privacy and Mystery is art and skill pivotal to a stress free life. People use sharing experiences with others to bond with people but I find actively listening and being GENUINELY interested when others are talking minimises the need to chime and share your experiences but still allows us to bond. You look stunning as always 💕
My relationship is not something that I broadcast in public. And what medical conditions did I talk about in public? Another bunch of lies are flowing.
I disagree with not telling a partner about past trauma because knowing that will help them to understand their partner better.. even if they don’t have a solution to get over the trauma. Also, some people who watch others share about their trauma on social media really do appreciate it. Because they may have experienced the same thing and it just makes them feel better to know they are not alone and others are experiencing or have experienced the same.
Find the balance in silence. Be carful not to be cold and dismissive. People talk about experiences to learn and get different view points on ways you can heal your experience. Telling people to keep these things to themselves is dangerous. Someone maybe going through abuse. They may need advice. Especially if they do not have the strength. If people didn’t talk about their illnesses, a lot of people would know nothing about anything, just what they’ve experienced. If this way works for you, that’s fine But you are teaching the new generation to do what the older generation have always done. So now we deal with so much trauma as a collective because we were taught to be silent and don’t shame the devil. Have you had a look at it from many perspectives? Not just yours. This can be seen as teaching people to be off balance, closed off and have selfish characteristics.
Not really, it's a lot more self less to live in silence. The reason the older generation always kept silent is because it worked. Unfortunately in some cases silence didn't work but for the majority it worked.
@@sadiakausar7566 how did it work? What does a happy life look like to you? Because if you think the mental health in our society is a good reaction from the way the generations before swept things under the rug…then o guess your right if you think the situation of the people of our world isn’t toxic. Moral transparency, communication, trust and truth are key to evolution with far less distraction than past and current. Share knowledge and distructive history won’t repeat. Maybe sit down and have a look at what’s happening in the world. Listen to why people are traumatised. See the secrets busting out the seams. The distractions of holding things in. There is such thing as toxic silence. But anyway good luck.
I’ve always been a very quiet person. People thought I didn’t talk or had some type of speech issue. That wasn’t the case, I just never like talking that much especially about myself. Over the years I have become a lot more open to certain people. I’ve been told I don’t talk much about myself. One thing I learned about that is that I should’ve kept my mouth shut!!!! My life will be private from this day on. The words that come off my tongue will only be about GOD, what good he’s done for me, inspirational or business. It’s best to keep a lot of things to yourself. I’m practicing how to be elegant and one the traits of an elegant woman is to keep her business private.
Wisdom is profitable, I have made my mistakes in this aspect in the past but I started practicing silence and dealing with sensitive issue myslf and I will tell you not all things people need to know about you.only few people care.In relationship and dealings women especially use wisdom
I feel like the advice being shared here is based on the bag experiences that can come from sharing information with the wrong people. There is an overlooked positive side that comes with sharing information. I think we should encourage people to use discernment when choosing who to share information with and timing. For example, a person might be suffering from an illness and not sharing that information leads to them not finding proper care and also not letting their family members know so that they are aware of how this affects them genetically. Another example is the fall out with friends. We have to realise that this can be a very hurtful situation for some people and we cannot stop them from talking about it with TRUSTED people. That way, they can be helped with healing , potential reconciliation or to properly close that chapter. Also, how comfortable would you be with a potential partner telling you that they broke up with their ex over irreconcilable differences? I would think that you would want to know so that you can also assess if that is the right person to pursue a relationship with and also know the potential issues you could be dealing with. However I do agree with you it shouldn’t be a repeated conversation over the course of the relationship but transparency about the cause breakup is very important..
1. Family issues and problems 2. Issues with friends/ friendship fallouts 3. Health problems 4. Previous relationships - 5. your past trauma - only person who should hear this is your therapist. Not even your partner.
The reality of life is that people talk. You can't always heal if you keep your problems to yourself. You can't trust everyone but you have to eventually trust someone.
Lucy, genuinely there is something about your aura, your personality and the way you carry yourself that make 80K + of us trust you. Your advise are sound, you have a touch of sarcasm, your accent is beautiful and your work is lovely. Thank you for all you do in the RUclips space, I admire your content & creativity💕💕❤
I totally agree with you Lucy, especially the part about giving clarifications when you’re no longer in good terms with someone. That’s just not worth it. If the friendship really meant something at some point, there’s no need telling everyone the sour part. Just respect people. This is great advice 👍🏽
This hited me very hard, because i did exactly the opposite and i see my wrong that was a really big reminder what you spoke. And now I am ashame of myself i even open my mouth and let these people know that side of me. thank you again
people @ jobs that I’ve worked or different environments I’ve been in would overshare so much they made me feel like I was extremely closed off or something!
Many ppl heal while sharing the burden and once they put it out there they feel light. Once u stop thinking about how or what ppl say u’ll live long. Some ppl share difficult situations or illness to help others 🤷🏻♀️. Who would stay would stay
I agree, dealing with any type of illness is difficult and a very lonely road. I admire people that share their stories. I follow several RUclipsrs who are sharing their healing journey. The fact is some people will never completely heal from their condition. And may never be able to give insight from a different perspective. I do agree that people receive information in different ways and can try to use it against you.
Thank you Lucy! Big greeting from Hong Kong! Even though I always consider myself a private person, your video is such a refreshment and a good reminder that we better stay private. For the sake of our mental health!
I really appreciate this video , I am a private person but these years tested me a lot . Sooo I spoke to a few friends about it... But I am getting back to being private because not everyone advice is sound advice...
I completely agree with all of the points that you have provided with this video...but I will sometimes share information with certain people that I am feeling out & seeing if I can trust them.....because if the information is made public then I will know that I cannot trust the individual.
Eww I’m cringing 😬 right now because I’ve done most of these and I regret it so much 🤦🏽♀️. I’m definitely learning to just listen 👂🏽to other’s without sharing my own business in return.
Wish I had seen this before I kinda made a mess with my attitude. Was so hurt about a friend's behavior that I literally became her and more by over talking. Now I feel so horrible I let myself go so low.
@@tondaniraluswinga2590 Yes, secretive people shouldn't be talking about things like this. Lucy seems secretive, you can't understand the power of communication.
Yes , but this one can be tricky as this can be seen as emotional dumping especially if the relationship is brand new. They are not your therapist and not there to help you heal. You should be doing the healing work before you involve someone else into that same deep intimate space.... I say this from experience where a guy was not healed in specific areas and It felt like he was using me to heal himself. Is this a problem in itself? Of course no, but if this is a "relationship" then why do I feel like I am your therapist and only there to serve his needs and fix his problems? I mean that's what God, family, friends, counselors /therapist are for ijs 🤷🏾♀️
even in church I probably talk but its positive they treat me like family always bless me I Don t ask I always say no but people just wanna help now I Don t trust outsiders I try not talk cuz I know people see me as women with issues ia m not perfect
Another thing to shut up about is your job struggle situations. Maybe tell two people and family, but keep it private it makes letting go of said job less pressure.
Listening to you changed a lot God bless you, I’m an over sharer and that’s because of my upbringing in my family we share everything and anything and it’s really affecting me so bad I’m trying to stop but it’s really not been easy 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️but all true this video all looked at was your beautiful skin.🥰🥰🥰
100% Lucy. I enjoyed every bit of the video. What do you film with pls? It’s ok if you can’t share, your video is just so clean and you look beautiful in it😍
Honestly ppl gossip about malicious information about ppl and it a reflection on that person who sharing sensitivity information. To me that’s mean u have less class and it’s not tactful. Ijs.
whew.. clicked & kinda nervous to see how many rules i've broken.. im so talkative & outgoing , i know this mouth has probably got to running in directions it didn't need to
So, what if I had an issue with someone and it's bothering me, am I to bottle it in? Won't it eat me up? I'm just curious and I'd really like to know, because I'm guilty of this🙂
I wish I heard this 4 weeks ago 🤦🏽♀️, I'm not big on the dating thing, I forgot how it works . So should I stop talking to the guy now becausehe knoes too much lol?
Being private a discipline God has been teaching me in this season of my life
Same here dear!
@@jowelgray303 sending love
Same here for me...and it leading me right 👍🙌🏼
Me too and I am more happier ever since
Me too❤😊
I learnt in a hard way that people are different, due to my innocence , I shared a lot with people and expected people to share theirs with me , I wondered why people would not open up to me , but recently I learnt the power of silence , although I am still a work in progress , but being Silent brings respect and sanity to yourself .
However, identify who is worthy to know your stuffs , choose who you talk to , you will be fine .
Thank You Lucy, new subscriber here
I learnt the hard way
I am working on being more private. My life continues to keep better and for some reason I feel strongly about protecting that💖
Samee
Same
Family matters
Issues of u nd ur friends
Person A to person B
Telling past relationships to new ones
Trauma nd struggle's
thanks you saved my time
hmm.. interesting.. well , if it's a man you're dating & are going in the direction of a serious , committed relationship , you should DEFINITELY talk about allllll of these , ESPECIALLY TRAUMA
@@TeKeyaKrystal you are definitely right hun about the serious relationship part
Always serving knowledge!👏🏽 Privacy and Mystery is art and skill pivotal to a stress free life. People use sharing experiences with others to bond with people but I find actively listening and being GENUINELY interested when others are talking minimises the need to chime and share your experiences but still allows us to bond.
You look stunning as always 💕
My relationship is not something that I broadcast in public. And what medical conditions did I talk about in public? Another bunch of lies are flowing.
I disagree with not telling a partner about past trauma because knowing that will help them to understand their partner better.. even if they don’t have a solution to get over the trauma.
Also, some people who watch others share about their trauma on social media really do appreciate it. Because they may have experienced the same thing and it just makes them feel better to know they are not alone and others are experiencing or have experienced the same.
Them will use them against you
Find the balance in silence. Be carful not to be cold and dismissive.
People talk about experiences to learn and get different view points on ways you can heal your experience.
Telling people to keep these things to themselves is dangerous. Someone maybe going through abuse. They may need advice.
Especially if they do not have the strength.
If people didn’t talk about their illnesses, a lot of people would know nothing about anything, just what they’ve experienced.
If this way works for you, that’s fine
But you are teaching the new generation to do what the older generation have always done.
So now we deal with so much trauma as a collective because we were taught to be silent and don’t shame the devil.
Have you had a look at it from many perspectives? Not just yours.
This can be seen as teaching people to be off balance, closed off and have selfish characteristics.
Not really, it's a lot more self less to live in silence. The reason the older generation always kept silent is because it worked. Unfortunately in some cases silence didn't work but for the majority it worked.
My thinking right now, i've been through that before. Silence is not always the best solution, there should be a balance
THIS
@@sadiakausar7566 how did it work? What does a happy life look like to you?
Because if you think the mental health in our society is a good reaction from the way the generations before swept things under the rug…then o guess your right if you think the situation of the people of our world isn’t toxic.
Moral transparency, communication, trust and truth are key to evolution with far less distraction than past and current. Share knowledge and distructive history won’t repeat.
Maybe sit down and have a look at what’s happening in the world. Listen to why people are traumatised. See the secrets busting out the seams. The distractions of holding things in.
There is such thing as toxic silence.
But anyway good luck.
@@patgorgeousladyasantewaaexactly 💯 we are not meant to hold everything in. It’s damaging isn’t it!?
I’ve always been a very quiet person. People thought I didn’t talk or had some type of speech issue. That wasn’t the case, I just never like talking that much especially about myself. Over the years I have become a lot more open to certain people. I’ve been told I don’t talk much about myself. One thing I learned about that is that I should’ve kept my mouth shut!!!! My life will be private from this day on. The words that come off my tongue will only be about GOD, what good he’s done for me, inspirational or business. It’s best to keep a lot of things to yourself. I’m practicing how to be elegant and one the traits of an elegant woman is to keep her business private.
How do you form deep connections with people if you do not talk about yourself? Do you have a good friend that you talk to if needed?
Wisdom is profitable, I have made my mistakes in this aspect in the past but I started practicing silence and dealing with sensitive issue myslf and I will tell you not all things people need to know about you.only few people care.In relationship and dealings women especially use wisdom
I feel like the advice being shared here is based on the bag experiences that can come from sharing information with the wrong people. There is an overlooked positive side that comes with sharing information. I think we should encourage people to use discernment when choosing who to share information with and timing. For example, a person might be suffering from an illness and not sharing that information leads to them not finding proper care and also not letting their family members know so that they are aware of how this affects them genetically. Another example is the fall out with friends. We have to realise that this can be a very hurtful situation for some people and we cannot stop them from talking about it with TRUSTED people. That way, they can be helped with healing , potential reconciliation or to properly close that chapter.
Also, how comfortable would you be with a potential partner telling you that they broke up with their ex over irreconcilable differences? I would think that you would want to know so that you can also assess if that is the right person to pursue a relationship with and also know the potential issues you could be dealing with. However I do agree with you it shouldn’t be a repeated conversation over the course of the relationship but transparency about the cause breakup is very important..
you are so intelligent ,the part you said when people act insensitive to your trauma makes you angry is so true i have been there 💯
Omg she is very intelligent i must say...
Silence increases power
1. Family issues and problems
2. Issues with friends/ friendship fallouts
3. Health problems
4. Previous relationships -
5. your past trauma - only person who should hear this is your therapist. Not even your partner.
The reality of life is that people talk. You can't always heal if you keep your problems to yourself. You can't trust everyone but you have to eventually trust someone.
Lucy, genuinely there is something about your aura, your personality and the way you carry yourself that make 80K + of us trust you. Your advise are sound, you have a touch of sarcasm, your accent is beautiful and your work is lovely. Thank you for all you do in the RUclips space, I admire your content & creativity💕💕❤
I totally agree with you Lucy, especially the part about giving clarifications when you’re no longer in good terms with someone. That’s just not worth it. If the friendship really meant something at some point, there’s no need telling everyone the sour part. Just respect people. This is great advice 👍🏽
This hited me very hard, because i did exactly the opposite and i see my wrong that was a really big reminder what you spoke. And now I am ashame of myself i even open my mouth and let these people know that side of me. thank you again
people @ jobs that I’ve worked or different environments I’ve been in would overshare so much they made me feel like I was extremely closed off or something!
Sis!!!!! I am glad you didn’t fold, you don’t have to share especially in a work place, all you have yo be in respectful, professional and compliant
I love you so much for helping young girl as a guide because i did alot of these things but listening to this now , i am unlearning alot.
Many ppl heal while sharing the burden and once they put it out there they feel light. Once u stop thinking about how or what ppl say u’ll live long. Some ppl share difficult situations or illness to help others 🤷🏻♀️. Who would stay would stay
Ijeoma my name sake, yes we can share our burden but to few people we trust.
You're right
I agree, dealing with any type of illness is difficult and a very lonely road. I admire people that share their stories. I follow several RUclipsrs who are sharing their healing journey. The fact is some people will never completely heal from their condition. And may never be able to give insight from a different perspective. I do agree that people receive information in different ways and can try to use it against you.
After watching this vid i realized that i used to talk and share alot but now i learned a hard way💯
Me too.. makes me sad just thinking about it, but I am working on myself. ☹️
Thank you Lucy! Big greeting from Hong Kong!
Even though I always consider myself a private person, your video is such a refreshment and a good reminder that we better stay private.
For the sake of our mental health!
This is one of the most educative videos I have ever watched… Thank you so much for sharing this wealth of knowledge.
- ne pas parler des problèmes de famille et amis
- health physique ou mentale
- pas parler de copain précédent à nouveau (pas comparaison)
5. Votre traumatisme passé (expériences traumatisantes passées) - sauf à un thérapeute
💚
I really appreciate this video , I am a private person but these years tested me a lot . Sooo I spoke to a few friends about it... But I am getting back to being private because not everyone advice is sound advice...
Same sis after trying to be vulnerable for a year, I hated it and I’m back to being private
May God lighten your days and years ahead dear
Thank you Lucy for this video cause I have a bad habit of over sharing and I’m actively working on changing that ❤️
The intro got me…..always serving knowledge. Yessss keep it to yourself, learn heal. Thanks for this video.
Same
You are beautiful! Skin, hair, makeup, nails- just EVERYTHING!
I completely agree with all of the points that you have provided with this video...but I will sometimes share information with certain people that I am feeling out & seeing if I can trust them.....because if the information is made public then I will know that I cannot trust the individual.
I feel bad, I talk about other people’s news so I don’t have to share mine lol but it’s always positive ones though, but point taken..
I just stumbled over this channel and I’m glad to be here. Thanks for your wise words and advice. Lucy, you’re a smart and intelligent lady. Thanks.❤️
Haha! Love the ex talk! I don’t like talking abt my ex to anyone! That’s none of their business!
Eww I’m cringing 😬 right now because I’ve done most of these and I regret it so much 🤦🏽♀️. I’m definitely learning to just listen 👂🏽to other’s without sharing my own business in return.
Wish I had seen this before I kinda made a mess with my attitude. Was so hurt about a friend's behavior that I literally became her and more by over talking. Now I feel so horrible I let myself go so low.
This applies to me Omo
I’m just learning to actually stop talking 😓
So many regrets after
you're my best mentor of the year.Thanks sis
But people face traumas from their past relationships, talking about it with their new partner is not bad, it can help them heal.
@@tondaniraluswinga2590 Yes, secretive people shouldn't be talking about things like this. Lucy seems secretive, you can't understand the power of communication.
Especially family trauma. Some people are just emotionally unavailable so they think holding everything inside is healthy.
Yes , but this one can be tricky as this can be seen as emotional dumping especially if the relationship is brand new. They are not your therapist and not there to help you heal. You should be doing the healing work before you involve someone else into that same deep intimate space.... I say this from experience where a guy was not healed in specific areas and It felt like he was using me to heal himself. Is this a problem in itself? Of course no, but if this is a "relationship" then why do I feel like I am your therapist and only there to serve his needs and fix his problems?
I mean that's what God, family, friends, counselors /therapist are for ijs 🤷🏾♀️
thanks for this I appreciate am used to telling people my problem especially when am in pains
Nice video but girl that orange shirt with your skin complexion is just 😍 where is it from?
Perfect timing. Thank you for sharing Lucy ✨
I'm trying to be so discipline about things of my life thanks my love ♥️🌈
Love. That lace is giving scalp!
Keep it positive and you will learn what not to say
Excellent lady! You are right 1000%!! Class act!!
Oh waooo I LOVE YOU ❤️ SO MUCH ( in my journey of glowing up and accepting my feminine energy you have been very supportive ). ☺️☺️
Yeah...that's absolutely true...thank you Lucy...✨✨
My gosh, just realized l had to work better on myself. Thank you, Lucy.
Thank you for leaving what camera you use in the description box 🤍. Love your energy btw x
Thanks for watching babe❤️
I actually have not been so private with my life (even though I try ) I’m always sharing one or two things esp money to close friends 😩
I am happy you are realizing ❤️
Thank you @Lucy Benson . You help me keep it together 🥰
Very Educative! 💯. Thank you very much.
Point taken.. I need to just keep it private.. Very private
Thank you Lucy for sharing the video it's helping me a lot...keep on sharing videos like this
You have discussed some really good points here Lucy 👏🏻 👍🏻
even in church I probably talk but its positive they treat me like family always bless me I Don t ask I always say no but people just wanna help now I Don t trust outsiders I try not talk cuz I know people see me as women with issues ia m not perfect
Wow, thank you so much for this.
Absolutely insightful!!
You're beautiful and your blouse colour looks SO good on you. thanks for sharing your reflection and lessons!
🥰
You are so intelligent. Every of your video is top notch.
What earrings are you wearing in this video Lucy? I love them!
U are so wise I really admire you 😘
Thank you for putting this out❤️
Loved the content.... love the way you delivered also , thank you¡
Your videos are just beautiful as you are. Thank you. I am struggling with this topic.
Wish I had heard this sooner , definitely can never trust anyone !
This Color fits you so well
Definitely 1000% message on point ❤❤❤❤ thank you Lucy
Another thing to shut up about is your job struggle situations. Maybe tell two people and family, but keep it private it makes letting go of said job less pressure.
I love this background 😍 btw Lucy always spilling facts 💯
yes , it looks like she has nice interior design in her home
I will work on myself 💜
This video couldn’t have come at any better time! Always coming with gems and knowledge😍 I keep saying Lucy is our big Aunt on this platform.
You are Officially my BIG SISTA🤞🏾
I appreciate this chat❤️✨
Thank you Lucy ♥️. This was needed !!
Listening to you changed a lot God bless you, I’m an over sharer and that’s because of my upbringing in my family we share everything and anything and it’s really affecting me so bad I’m trying to stop but it’s really not been easy 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️but all true this video all looked at was your beautiful skin.🥰🥰🥰
Lucy speaking nothing but facts !!
Great video. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
100% Lucy. I enjoyed every bit of the video. What do you film with pls? It’s ok if you can’t share, your video is just so clean and you look beautiful in it😍
Thanks love, i listed everything in the description
Just found your channel and ma’am .. 10/10 🥰🥰
This was super good!
Thank you for this video. Much needed.
Great advice Lucy.Thanks so much
That's right! I can never understand why people put so much of their lives out there. smh
Mystery is the magic sauce.👌🏼
This was Beautiful Advice...Well Shared 💗💗
I've done it by ignorance and i regreted it today
I think this video was amazing
A private life is a perfect life.
Honestly ppl gossip about malicious information about ppl and it a reflection on that person who sharing sensitivity information. To me that’s mean u have less class and it’s not tactful. Ijs.
Very interesting, inspiring 👏also informative 👍
whew.. clicked & kinda nervous to see how many rules i've broken.. im so talkative & outgoing , i know this mouth has probably got to running in directions it didn't need to
Siiis on the trauma part spitting facts
So, what if I had an issue with someone and it's bothering me, am I to bottle it in? Won't it eat me up? I'm just curious and I'd really like to know, because I'm guilty of this🙂
i appreciate this, learning how to be more private
Thank u soo much…I will wroke on myself
This is such great advice thank you for sharing
I wish I heard this 4 weeks ago 🤦🏽♀️, I'm not big on the dating thing, I forgot how it works . So should I stop talking to the guy now becausehe knoes too much lol?
Thank You.
Thank you for insights🙏🏼
I really love your content darling..anytime I come to your country I will like to see you in person please. I am watching from Sierra Leone 🇸🇱
Thanks darling
This wad so helpful. Thanks Lucy 🥰
Thank you girl 💁
You are so right 🎉
Thank you good advice