Surviving Empty Nest Syndrome | Empowering Midlife Wellness
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
- It’s the end of August and most of our kids are back in school and college, and many of us in midlife are watching our children become independent adults and leave home. The so-called “empty nest syndrome” can be experienced as a huge range of emotions- from joy, relief and pride; to grief, lack of purpose and depression. Today I’m talking about my own ongoing experience with becoming an empty nester, as well as sharing what I’ve learned from talking to thousands of women in our age group, and normalizing some of these feelings so we don’t feel alone!
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I can’t even begin to tell you how much this video is helping me. My 14 yr old son left to live with his dad a year and a half ago. I’ve been a single mom since the beginning and we were so very close. What you said about single parents and being kinda meshed and it’s my main identity. I’ve been so depressed and judging myself and my parenting. Thinking about how he is thriving with his dad and step mom and how I’m missing out on his life. I’ve been so alone and feel like well everything you described. But thank you so much…I’m going to listen to this video when I start to feel sad again
I understand
Oh dear I never thought it would be this painful. My daughter left 2years before she went to college because we were in a fight, our first fight ever. I miss her so much that I’m paralyzed. Couple that with menopause and bipolar, anxiety major depression disorder and I stay with my 94 year old father who has medical issues so I’m his caregiver even though I have 4 siblings who never even visit. My husband also took his own life at a hotel near my house. I’ve also lost near 10 friends to this as well. My therapist dismissed me and there’s a waiting list for another one. This is too much for one person. Thank you for the video what you say is all true. 💕🙏🐾
So true dear identical to my situation as well.
❤
My heart goes out to you. It is the most painful rejection but your son has gone to his Dad to learn how to be a man. This is not a rejection of you as his mother. It happened to me also and the only way I lived through it was to set him free, he’s following testosterone. Sending support to you.
With 3 adult children - my youngest just left the nest. I cried the first week and looked at baby pictures and thought if I keep doing that I would be always miserable.
My daughter had a friend who passed away in high school and those parents have the most painful losses.
Empty Nesters know our kids will more likely come back at some point and that’s a real gift.
IMO, we must be grateful for what God has given us and look forward to this next stage of our life if we want to not be in continuous pain.
There are still people who need us in the world. We could find out where else we can be of service - I was considering rocking little babies in the hospital who don’t have their Moms around.
There is also a soup kitchen I could help at downtown to be of service in the world.
It seems looking to help others instead of focusing on our misery can help us live better lives.
We ain’t dead yet and we have a lot we can contribute by virtue of our life experience.
We don’t want to waste too much precious time having a pity party and feeling badly for things we can not control.
We’ve got a lot of life left to live and must put on the Big Girl Pants and get on with it.
What did we do when we were single chicks?
Hopefully we focused on our goals and tried to live our best life simultaneously.
Which is exactly what we should be doing now. 👏
When the kids come back (and someday we may have Grandchildren,) hopefully that will be a bonus to an already rewarding life.
Our kids may be gone but if our heart is still beating, we still have purpose.
Our job now is to go find what that is! 💕
Thank you so much for writing this. My 18 yr old still lives home but she is gone most of the time . I’ve been so sad and miss her so much .
She’s our only child. My biggest fear is being shut out of her life ,not because she wants that but because she’s busy building her future .
The last of my 5 children just moved out 4 days ago...2 have left in the last month. Such a big change and I can't stop crying. 32 yrs of having children in the home....it's so hard. Reading your comment does help. ❤ I am thankful all of my children live close to me and we are very close.
Thank you so much for saying it how it is. My youngest noved out in July and the level of grief, anxiety and feeling of depression I'm experiencing right now is staggering. I have filled up my life, seeing friends, taking up hobbies and activities, but still, coming back to my empty apartment or waking up in it on weekends, I feel lost, disoriented, the sadness is surreal. The loneliness can be such a heavy presence. It helps so much hearing someone like you who knows it and understands it ❤
Hi there, I can totally relate to what you shared in your post. My only son just left home in August and moved to New York to pursue music. I'm a single mom and he is my love and my world. I am experiencing all the same feelings that you shared as well, even as I'm hanging out with friends exercising trying to fill up my life and I even have a dog that keeps me company but the feeling after your child leaves home & your left with your empty apartment when you come home are very real and I can only hope and pray that as time passes &our lives continue to fill and we recreate ourselves that the feelings get better 🙏🙏
@Outta The Ashez "my love and my world" is exactly how I feel, too. I relate completely to what you just wrote. Now, 3 months after my initial comment, things are a bit better and easier, but to be honest, despite making myself very busy and socail, I still struggle, and the weekend mornings are still difficult. It is not as bad as it was, though, no more crying in the subway or bursting into tears at work. I had felt the same way when my daughter left. To people who laugh it off or don't get it I say "what is so hard to understand, our children are the loves of our lives and we have shared our lives with them for 20 years then suddenly they're gone". All that to say that I get what you're going through and I feel for you. As I said, it gets better litlle by little even if at first we have to fake it until we make it, but I don't think that anything can replace our kids' presence or fill that void, not really. Like you wrote, we recreate ourselves. Much love to you ❤️
My baby moved out tonight down the road 15 minutes, and it hit me so hard....the baby child hurts so much!!! I feel you both
@@mandilynn47 Mine is only 8 minutes away and I am just sick over this
@@lisagodbey5418 it hurts and it feels so lonely. I'm here with you!😪❤
Last year my only child left for college and it was so hard. I talked to any knowing parent I could find to express my sad feelings. I lamented that in our society we are inundated with helpful info preparing us for a new baby, but not one bit of help when that same child leaves us. It is every bit as big of a change. I’m also going through a painful separation and probable divorce, my husband says the loss of my daughter’s presence amplified how we’ve grown apart. The two people I cared for are gone, along with our daily routines, their voices, their presence , whether shouting or laughing, I miss it all. Everyday is a battle of motivation: I am lost in an empty house and an empty life feeling like I have no purpose. Thank you for this conversation. It needs to be discussed more.
Wow. Thank you for this! I’m laying in bed. Watching this video. Eating ritz crackers & drinking Dr Pepper. Eldest daughter returns to college tomorrow. Youngest moves into his first apartment tomorrow. He graduates from high school in May. We will put our house on the market in mid April and will be full time RVers. I really needed the validation in this video. Thank you!
((Hugs))). Focus on the family has some wonderful videos on empty nesters. Jim burns wrote a book on it too. Praying you’re blessed in this new season & Rv’ing sounds like a fun adventure!! I have 6 children. Oldest just moved out a few days ago, . Thankful not far. Our family of 8 is very close knit but we all love Jesus & I believe that’s one thing that glues us together bc no matter where we are we can pray for and encourage each other❤
Hope things went smoothly!
They broke my sanity, now they're breaking my heart. They don't tell you that when you sign up.
In some other cultures, the kids don’t leave home. The families work together to get ahead. They live together and the grandmother is there to watch the kids so the parents can work.
This is a better way.
My son just left and my heart is broken in many pieces..I can't stop crying...I feel soo empty..with no purpose in life.
please tell me that you aren't feeling as sad as you were 6 months ago. . . ..praying for you Mama!!!
@Sonny J. Rock I am seen a counselor and doing better...thank you x asking
@mariarodriquez7031 good to hear...that is a good idea. I will keep counseling in mind, thank you. Prayers & Hugs 💜💙💚
I feel the same way.
I know the feeling unfortunately.😢life has no purpose or meaning now❤😭
You really addressed so many of my issues with this empty nest syndrome. My son will be 21 tomorrow and just abruptly moved out last month. I'm a divorced mom, unemployed, and we lived 19 years of his life with my parents. I centered my life around him and we were truly best friends (unhealthy as it may sound).
I'm not in a relationship, though recently, I've had a couple of men interested. I don't know how to be a girlfriend or a wife anymore. Quite frankly, I don't want to fall in love and be left again. It's hard enough knowing that the next people to leave are probably my aging parents.
Thank you for this video and your honesty in how you are feeling.
I so feel this. My father died in 2018, my oldest daughter suddenly and abruptly estranged me in 2019. I have no idea why, and she has NO interest in talking to me. That is a story for another time. My mother lost her mind and married a creep young enough to be my brother. She cut me off for investigating him and and proving he was a creep. Younger daughter moved out abruptly in 2021. Lost 2 cats over 2020 and 2021. Daughter moved back in after a bad breakup a few moths ago, and now is moving out taking my 19 year old son with her. I can't stop crying. I still have one left a home, but it is just so hard knowing I will never be able to see them on a daily basis again. I am glad to still have one at home, but it just feels like one loss after another.
I have to tell you, I was someone that called my mom nightly.
He just turned 21July 30th, and has been gone for two years this month. I don't even want to celebrate Halloween-my favorite holiday. 😢 I'm crying today. My hot flashes have suddenly come back to boot. I miss my bud-hearing him bust up laughing randomly. That smile. I'm single, so 100% alone.
Thank you so much. My autistic child just moved out at age 27. I am proud yet terrified. He only lives 8 minutes away. My goal was to support him to become an independent person and we are here. He is doing fine I am lost and finally had to go visit my doctor. My worry is in overdrive. I fake being okay when he calls 😂 My husband (not his dad) does not understand the overwhelming grief. Your video was honestly the best one
That is exactly how I feel, sense of grief! And I understand I should be happy for him but I am sad not to see him everyday!i miss him so much! He is my only son! 😢
You seem so sad, just like me.. I just started down this road..... It hurts
Yes it does
Thank you for speaking on this topic. This does totally seem to be just one of those things in life that we don’t talk about. I am going through this now and I have waves of emotion. Also I feel like giving every parent who has gone through this is big hug!
Thank you for this information and encouragement. I’m 59 and have 3 children. 39,35,20. So, for 39 straight years I’ve had a child living in my home. Seems like my life’s purpose has been dedicated to raising my children. When I just moved my youngest away to begin his Bachelor’s Degree it has been devastating for me. Empty Nest is real after coming home to a empty house after all these years knowing those years are over. Although I know it’s normal and I’m so proud of my son, he wants to be dr. I’m lost here and struggling. Your video helped me see not to take what’s happening personally, that’s it’s normal and I’m not alone. It’s so hard but I know I’ll be fine with time.
It’ll just take time. ❤
I am having a really tough time with my youngest going off to school. I am tearing up one minute, telling myself to get a grip in the next. Feeling rough. Thanks for this.
Hi Angela, you are not alone! These feelings of grief and loss are normal and you'll get through this
It's the craziest jumble of emotions!!!! I am there with you!
Are there any chat rooms where we could talk with each other not just the comment sections
Awesome Video, thank you!!!
I am a dad of 4 girls. I have worked from home since 2002. I was home all summer, every day when they returned from school, I've been here for it all. Now, they're all out except one and my she graduates in 2025. I'm so sad. I know men are supposed to be tough, but, I am very emotional about it all and I find myself longing for when all 4 were in the home and I am creating a past in my head that didn't exist.
Am I just fearing getting older? I do wonder if something is wrong with me.
I'm a young empty nester because I'm 45 but had my son at 20. I'm married and work but I do find myself not doing well some days because I miss my 25 yr old son.
He keeps in touch, but the daily grind is hard because he was basically my free entertainment n so funny when he was growing up.
Thank you soooo much.. My daughter is, I expect, leaving our home shortly. "All of the sudden" it is dawning on me that she's much more serious with her boyfriend of 2 years than I realised. She actually dropped some bombs on me in a short amount of time (weeks) that I did not see coming. As in having converted, wanting to get married and get out of the house within a year or so. I'm a single parent to her ever since she was a baby. I am very prone to anxiety and am seeing all these fear thoughts and emotions coming up. Even-though I've seen her boyfriend here several times a week for about 1 1/2 year. He's well mannered and kind to me and treats her well. I hear them laugh a lot etc. So in that sense: there's no obvious reason for me to feel like she's making a mistake. I probably am projecting a lot of my own passed mistakes onto her.. But it mostly boils down to I feel like "NO! DON'T LEAVE!"
I feel exactly that: grieving and also a lot of worrying "did I instill the right things in her? Is this boyfriend really good enough?" Your words are so comforting and you are making me cry so some of my angst is being relieved in knowing that a lot of what I'm feeling is normal. It is just past noon over here and I'm re-potting some plants. She's gone to the big city for a day out with her mother- and sister- inlaw to be.. You know what. I'm going to pore me a glass of wine and call my cousin or something.. Sure: drinking is not the solution but I need that glass right now. Thank you for helping your fellow mothers going through this.
I also miss my mom who left this earth in 2009.. I wish I could call her right now.
Thank you.
Being a single parent and raising my daughter on my own for the last 20 years, she just graduated college and left home yesterday. I am sooo broken, can't stop crying. The grief and the hurt is destroying my peace.
Thank you for this video. My son who is an only child left today to live 12 hours away. I feel like my heart was ripped from my chest. We are very close. The house looks empty and sad. It has only been a few hours but it feels like a month.
I agree-this isn't talked about enough. As I looked around my Church this past Sunday, I wondered how many women and men were standing there with aching hearts, like me. I think we need more acknowledgement and support in this area.
I started freaking out with just the thought of her leaving about 8 to 6 months prior to my daughter graduating H.S, and now she's getting ready to move and has an apartment with a date coming up. I'm literally grieving. She is doing the right thing by signing up for college and even getting a second job, but even though I'm incredibly proud of her chasing what she wants, i still feel so sad. This freaks me out because i feel like im never going to see her. I also have a son who will be in the same position next year, and im just in an overwhelming state of sadness. I really connected with you when you said its normal to look back at memories but also your mistakes or things that i wish i could've done better, and that has been tough 😭
Thank you!!!!!!
I have been beating myself up going over every little thing I did wrong even though I chose them over a career and was a stay at home mom. 😢
Thank you for being so real and honest. You give me hope. ❤
I ADORE the picture board idea. I get trapped in the illusion that I was a bad mother but you reminded me of the thousands upon thousands of amazing photos I have. Thank you ❤
Thank you for speaking about this . I was a single mom for 27 years and my last child just left and her busy life started so quickly . My three adult kids adore each other so they are always getting together for things and I feel a bit left out of the family . I am going through peri menopause on top of everything else . Life just flipped upside down in a way I didn’t expect . I am definitely taking extra care to nurture my friendships now because without my friends I would be so lonely .
That's sad that they leave you out....I think it's our society.... Back in the olden days, kids left home but still saw their parents and grandparents alot, kinda like the Amish. the family was usually 3 generations, not divorced, and stuck together cuz they generally didn't leave far from home. And had more community. There is really no reason they can't invite you out with them at least once a week.
As a single parent I’ve found it difficult to find a friendship group. Ladies I know all have partners and many are retired
I admire the perspective you shared about when kids leave on “lousy” terms or “Abruptly”. Sometimes they leave after a conflict/ battle and it is very painful for both the 18 year old and the parent. I find parents often tell white lies about how great the communication is with their 18 or 19 year old when they do leave. This was well explained, very practical and authentic. I am so grateful for finding this today. I am less alone. Love from western Canada
Thanks so much for watching!
Thank you for addressing this. I had a terrible time as each of my children left for college. I felt so alone trying to adapt to their absence. I still have a hard time when they come home for a holiday or beak and then leave again. My heart feels full when they are all home.
I sm glad you commented that. I only have one and thought parents who have multiple do not feel it till the last one.
my wife isn't having a tough time, but, I am. It seems like every Sunday afternoon, evening, I get super down in the dumps, missing my kids and find myself playing clock in my head for 5-10-20 years ago. I have a lot to look forward to, I just get bummed out. We raised our girls to be independent, adventurous, driven, and why am I so surprised that that is what they did?
@@sonnyrock5 I’m so happy to hear from a dad. Your perspective is needed because as you can see by the comments here… most of the time it is women going through the severe, separation anxiety.
I love how you put it at the end… that we raise our kids to grow up and be independent, and then when they do exactly what they’re supposed to do… “leave”… we feel shocked, frightened, alone, and often abandoned. What a complicated set of emotions. It’s like a roller coaster.
@@PaigeNewberry thank you for the encouragement. I am having a super tough time with it all. I'm a father of 4 girls and I miss them so much. My youngest graduates in 2025, and I'm already fearing how I will feel when she leaves "the nest". My wife isn't nearly as bummed out about the life change, which is great for her. I'm grateful that you responded to my comment. Most of my friends tease me about being a big baby, which, I am a tender heart and it sucks. I wish I wasn't so sensitive! I keep praying that God will help me stay focused on gratitude that I was lucky enough to have children, lucky they are all doing so well, lucky that I am close with them and there aren't anger issues like some of the other parents are dealing with. When they put these babies in my arms, it seemed like a lifetime away that they would be young adults leaving dear ol' dad behind, but, the time machine brought this day here and I'm confused by it all.
This Vid is super good and does help me when I'm feeling exceptionally sad. If anyone knows of any other good content for parents struggling with missing their children, younger years, please let me know!!!
@@sonnyrock5
Me too. Boy do I understand the loss. Big hug for you.
Thank you so much for this. I am a solo mom to my 20 year old son. In December, he moved 10 hours away from me and I am REALLY struggling. It’s definitely a grief - I break out crying at random memories or when I want to tell him something but realize he’s not here. 😢 I didn’t prepare for this, I was always just so busy with him and work (and the pandemic these past few years). 😢😢😢 I am so grateful to you for making this video. 🙏🙏🙏
Wow! Wish I had this to listen to six years ago. Thank you for helping others deal with these emotions & for being so transparent with your own life. Big hug!
My daughter turns 18 next month & she plans to move out of state with her best friend (who I banned from our home last year). Her best friend is a pothead, no goals, no ambitions, and actively has been working to drive a wedge between my daughter and me. This girl dropped out of school, her parents bounced her around & gave her whatever she wanted & now she lives out of state with people who don't want her there, nor do they want my daughter to come.
This is my only child. I'm mortified. My daughter is firm on her decision and can't be talked out of it. Currently, she's double majoring in online college and working full time.
Thank you for this video, I'm struggling so much with her upcoming departure.
I’m so sorry. Hopefully your daughter comes to her senses soon 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing! You just provide the life jacket to save me from the sea of depression.
As a mom who lost my oldest to Leukemia in 2021 it feels like I’m losing my my family. My son died, then one son graduated then he moved out, and I was down to one in the house and then a tread later my house burned down and it was my baby’s senior year and my 3rd born moved back in with his wife. Now my baby moved for college and my son and his wife are moving in a few weeks.
I just cry.. my husband works off 14 days so it will just be me half the time. I am a mess…
I am so very sorry for your unimaginable but very real loss, Trish. You’ve suffered much. I’m not in the phase of my kids going off to college. My youngest of 3 just graduated and moved from Maryland to Hawaii. The other 2 are in different parts of the country. As natural as it seems, it’s even hard to do things that would have brought me joy in the past. I guess that’s depression. I agree that women friends are vital. But many have moved away. It all takes immense and unanticipated effort. I hope you can find peace and moments of joy, at the very least 🌹 Laura
This is SO helpful. I’m a single mom of three grown boys and I’ve been struggling. I have a career (I’m an RN) but 🎉it’s never been my focus and I don’t love it. It was just a good way to pay the bills and have some flexibility when my kids were little. I don’t know what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. I’m struggling with all the things you talked about.
Thank you so much for this wonderful video and sharing your personal experiences with us. It's so empowering to not feel alone, and you are right... It is important to share with others. Thank you for being so open. My son will be leaving for college fall 2024. I'm a single mom and he is my only child, so I'm really trying to prepare now as best I can. I thought he was going to a university about 45 minutes away, but he and his girlfriend now want to go to another University about 4 hours away. He just told me a couple of days ago, and I'm trying to educate and support myself, learning about empty nest and why I started feeling depressed when I learned his college would be further away. Feeling encouraged to be proactive in my own caretaking. Thanks so much ❤
The pain I am feeling at the moment is unbearable, it is really physically painful my oldest left home 5 years ago and I don’t remember the physical symptoms being this bad, my middle child left last week then my youngest tells me he is leaving soon to join the army. And I am in physical pain and crying buckets of tears.
Thank you for including estrangement.
This season is physically painful for me. So glad you did this video.
Thanks for watching, I hope this video helps.
I feel so comforted by all that you said, especially because you have been through these thought and feelings yourself. Thank you for your openness and wisdom.
Hi! My experience with my oldest daughter was that we were practically estranged between ages 16-18. It improved once she went to college, made a wonderful friend group and had a great college experience. We are now very close in a mother daughter sense but also as two adult females. I let her live her life but we check in, share and it’s the best thing ever.
My youngest just went to college. Different story. It’s been drama drama drama and I’m exhausted by her neediness. Prayers that her Sophomore year will be smoother sailing. She and I have always been close. I just need her to flap her wings a little harder 😀❤️
Sometimes our kids can struggle with the transition to adulthood too! I wish you and your youngest the best on this journey
WOW! You sound quite ungrateful and cold-hearted. At first I was encouraged by the first part of your story, but then when you describe your 2nd daughter being so needy, ( drama drama drama), just WOW! I would welcome the chance to have my child need me at first for awhile once they moved out!!
I’m a single mom with a freshman in college and a senior in high school. I made them each a scrapbook and it’s been super helpful. I so appreciate you sharing your own experience combined with your subject matter expertise. I’m grateful to have found you!
My son is 24 years old, and as hard as it was to watch him go to college it was only two hours away so I knew that I could see him if I wanted to or if he needed me in any way shape or form. This week my son moved to Juneau, Alaska with his girlfriend. A 5 Day road trip and a three day ferry trip to get there! I am having difficulties with the fact that I can’t be there for him if he should ever need me. He is my baby, luckily, his sister my daughter lives locally and has blessed me with two grandchildren. I am hoping once he has arrived safely and is settled in. I can settle my nerves! I’m so happy for him and that he found somebody that loves him so much and that he is so in love with, and I take a lot of solace in that. I am trying to look at this as an adventure of a lifetime for him! Thank you for this video and making my feelings feel more normal!
Thank you for sharing. My question is this: wasn’t it the case that in the past parents weren’t left behind, but there was much more of a “tribal” (for want of a better word) quality in families? Yes, the younger generation formed their own families but the parents/grandparents always lived near. What happened that there’s this horrible and sad separation and parents are left behind? Is it economics? You see in “primitive” societies that elders are valued and respected; they remain a part of a cohesive larger family group. Do you have any ideas? Thanks.
Yes! Very true! Even recently in the 50’s grandparents lived next to their kid and grandchildren
I agree with your post. Even my own parents lived only 2 streets from my grandparents .... It was great growing up with that. My mom never had to go through this except with one brother who moved to another state. Society was closer in the "olden" days. I think divorce is a huge factor, breakdown of families more the norm...Amish people don't seem to go through this.... They stick together... It's sas to see how even my older friends feel NO pain when sticking their elderly parents in a "home" and not even bringing them out for the holidays when the parent is still intact! It's sad....
This video is exactly what I needed today. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. This was very helpful.
Yeah my son is in his senior year of highschool too and it has been difficult being alone so often being that he also works part time and hangs out with friends too.
This is so helpful to me. I thank you very much for speaking with your heat. ❤
This video really helped me clarify my feelings and that I am not alone . Thank you 😊
Very content! Thank you for sharing your experience and expertise!
This was really helpful! I had tears watching it, Thank you so much for sharing.
I so wish I also listened to this months ago…Thank you so much for talking about all of this!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for addressing this! Great ideas and relevant for any stage after children are gone.
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for this video! I needed this! ❤
Great info, going through the same process. thank you.
That was very interesting and helpful. Thank you.
You put that for everyone to see!!! What a great idea to remind you… AND THEM… in all the positive things you have done!!!
This is an excellent, mature, real and non-cliche discussion about empty nest. It is realistic, based on her prof. experience and it is also hopeful at the same time. I loved the insight and nonmaladaptive advice. Thank you.
Thank you, I feel so much better.
Thank you for this ! I’m balling my eyes out every day as I’m getting ready to move my daughter to Hawaii for college.
Thank you for such a regreshingly honest video.
Very helpful! Thank you!
I knew the day was coming, but I didn’t think it would happen like it did….I quit my career over 20 years ago and raised my kids, homeschooling them the whole way. I absolutely loved being their mom. I was so happy. Then, my oldest of two daughters married and 4 days after the wedding moved to the other side of the country. I was devastated. So much so that I am still, over a year later, having health issues.that I didn’t have before; I developed leaky gut, gastroparesis, insomnia, adrenal fatigue. To make it worse, my second and last daughter married less than a year later and boom! It was all over. At least she didn’t move away, she just moved out. The Lord blessed me with a very good husband but I know he doesn’t know what to do to help me. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I know if I didn’t have the Lord Jesus I would be dead by now.
Thank you so much. I'm at the crossroads of this very subject as we speak. My last child is off to college and had in the best way that ahe could has told me to stand down. I have to say it hurt a little but I get it. This is my time to rebuild and make a new life for myself. It's hard but I'll find my way. Thanks!
I just started vlogging about this topic today and then your video popped up in my feed. It’s 1,964 days until my youngest goes to college (roughly 5 years) and I wanted to document this journey towards becoming an empty nester. I too am a divorced single parent, so everything you said really hit home. Thanks for sharing this.❤
Dr Susan. Thank you for this ! It’s helping me tremendously. My 18yr old daughter still lives at home but she’s in college , works p/t and has many friends . I miss her so much ! I have my faith ,my husband and my job but my heart hurts .
Thank you fir sharing the anecdote about your twins and how different their personalities are. That helped a lot!
Thank you Dr.Susan!
this really resonates with me as a single parent.
I lived with my daughter for the past 11 years after the divorce, and last summer she got in to dentistry program and decided to be independent and moved out.
I was depressed, felt abandoned, and secretly resented her...
I lost my sense of purpose and self-confidence, felt useless, even though I have a career and I'm busy all the time.
I know it was the best move for her, to fly out of the nest, but was a very difficult year for me.
Only recently, I feel reconnecting with my friends and start challenging activities to find my confidence back.
I guess the empty nest will always have a hue of nostalgia in it, but c'est lavie, and as humans we need to adapt to survive.
Yes such is life! I'm glad you've found ways to get your confidence back
Thank you for stating the resentment part… I felt like I was the only one getting upset with my two daughters for never calling or even checking in once and a while, especially while I was paying for their phone bill each month. I was thinking to myself, “Why am I paying for a phone they can’t even use to text it call!!”😢😢☹️
Thank you so much for sharing. Like you said, all the info out there is not helpful. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way!
Thank you Dr. Susan ¡ I thought I was the crazy one ¡ I feel exactly like that
Lol no you're not crazy!
Thank you! 😢
Thanh you this helps a lot! Agree on holiday issues! I’m a midwife!
Thank you!
Dead on how I'm feeling too sending my girl to her second year in out of state college. The second year is just as hard! Had an emergency hysterectomy last December and it felt like it was just too many changes! That's why I hired Meg Ellis!
She sounded like she was going to cry at the 6:00 mark.... Being divorced or single is much harder to cope with this.... Guess we never really get over the grief.... Great video
Thank you so very much💕🫶
Wow! Thank you so much is this a great topic for this time of year! Totally not liking empty nest syndrome. 
Thank you for this video. My 24 year old recently moved out, and I didn't know there was a term for what I've been feeling lately, Empty Nest Syndrome until I looked it up.
Plus, I recently became divorced and going through perimenopause.
This is my daughter's last year in high school, will be going to out of state college after. Getting anxious thinking about her not being home everyday. My life was surrounded by her daily activities, driving to friends, sports, activities, talking about her days, etc during our daily walks with our dog. Soon she ll be gone and I'm alone. It's terrifying
My oldest left in a dramatic way , we were estranged However we are working on building a new kind of relationship.
My youngest is 17 and it’s the first Christmas Eve with out either of them. Thankyou for this , it helped me to at least understand why I was feeling so crazy at times .
You are not alone!
Random pop up today from RUclips and WOW I’m so grateful to have found you. What are your thoughts on sharing these feelings with our children? Not to inspire guilt but rather just so they know. I would have wanted to know how my Mom felt, especially since we all are so close.
My eldest (I have two kids one 17 one 19) is moving out in a week. We had expected this for June but he jumped it to April (1st) three weeks ago. We live in a university town so apartments empty in the spring and fill in the summer & fall & he wanted to get on it now. What a shock. I wanted my May & June. He is moving to an apartment down the road, very close, all positive as far as growing up, launching, he is attending our local university; but this upcoming move out is absolutely...uhg, sad and devastating. I have hobbies, interests, plans, the same husband of 26 years; friends but It hurts, it's a physical hurt. I feel grief, sadness. I know it's the right time for him but my heart is saying no, no, no, don't go. Had to demand myself NOT TO CRY yesterday while at my swimming group, or while in a meeting at work when the topic of everyone's kids came up. He's going on a family trip with us this summer, house-sitting for us mid-April, going on other events & trips with us but I am on the verge of tears at all times. Forcing a smile & positivity. I love my husband, we get along well, my daughter is wonderful, it couldn't be more white picket fence but I don't care. I am devastated and I am afraid of what is immediately to come. I've always pictured our future with my kids and it's a positive view of them as adults but this transition is awful. I am dreading the night he is officially gone. And after? Thank you for addressing the style of when someone leaves home. Some of us will need a lot of help getting through this transition. My sibling died young and it rocked my family. I slap myself when I EVEN try and compare, but loss could be a big trigger here, I don't know, I am checking in on my daughter about the move-out. I talked to her last weekend and will try and keep her feelings in the mix without being a big sloppy frightful wreck myself when the time comes.
I agree I am suffering terribly crying after they come to visit then go away. It is terrible. I had very good parents but I still felt lost when my mom went away as a child. I always felt no separation problem when they went to their dads but now that they have gone to college I feel totally lost depressed and sad
Thankyou❤
I totally relate . I feel like I have lost my 2 kids . Am a single mum u raised them . Its was a house full of kids ..now I feel empty lonely and lost I just cry
Thanks so much for the video and for everyone’s comments that people have been sharing. I feel like my family has spent the last two decades working to put men on the moon. Done! But now the control center is empty and everyone went home! It’s a bittersweet success. We’ll … I suppose Mars is next!
A subject id love to touch base on is Empty Nesters after their fine with kids gone ( the husband & wife) aspect of it just being the two of us.
For me- we work together ( 19 years) and Empty nesters for 10. It's becoming difficult with the amount of time we spend together. Basically how important it is to have ME TIME
My son who left 4 years back for his University is now 21 years old handsome , trusted,loving , considering man.since he left he used to talk daily on vudeo call ,if busy he would sent video message ❤.Now its time for my youngest one 17 years old dsughter ,who already left the home for her studies .Still Me and my husband are in same city( hotel ) and she is in her hostel ( we have vome to drop her ) I am still in a position to figure out ,how I will feel once we reach home .I do cry off and on when I am free here 😢
Still, we HAVE to let our kids go. My mother was so selfish that when i bought a house only ONE street away, she lured me 10 years later to sell my house, move back "home" along with my 14 y.o son after my father died..i was single mom in my 40's!! She NEVER asked me to move home directly, but i was brainwashed by her narcissism all my life, so she was able to guilt me to " come home" . So we lived with her for another 10 years. Then, she died and my siblings forced me and my son out of her house. He has been with me in this new house only 6 months and is moving out soon. I am grateful he is becoming a man, but i would be able to handle it SOOOO much better if i had my OLD house that i raised him in when he was a child, cuz i would have lived in it 20 years with great memories of just me and him. Having my son leave AND living in this new, unfamiliar house is just too painful and overwhelming. I came home to an empty house for the first time in decades, and cried my eyes out yesterday.
We are all connected with each other; even if some people do or do not want to be. Love is the most powerful of them all and nothing will beat it. Evil and hate stand no chance against love, unconditional love. Thank you for your videos, and if you see a glass with liquid in it... is it half full of half empty... my answer is it simply a glass with liquid in it... #3
Please make follow up videos.
Thank Goodness for this video. The previous 5 were so bland and positive. Other videos telling women to reconnect with their husband (Uhg!), their extended family and friends (Really? how many actually have any of those left?), or go out and expand our career or volunteer work, but I've already burnt out on the drama of mean bosses and co-workers.
I'm watching this as my boys are in High school but I've been so depressed thinking about it coming ip
Thx
I have three daughters. Youngest is a freshman in college this year. 😢
Thank you Dr 😊 My twins left for college and it has been 7 months and I still have these sad sad feelings of feeling purposeless. Been a single parent since they were 10 years old and one twin was born with a disability. So am struggling. Do I need to seek help?
Thank you! What if your child is constantly telling us what we did wrong?
I honestly feel like I’m going to die and sometimes feel I can’t breathe .
I'm 60, my 5 children grown. Went through menopause pastc3 yrs, moved from my home of 26 years and my children's home and now my grandchildren are teenagers. I'm only 60..I'm so overwhelmed and so terribly sad, so terribly sad.what do I do now? I
Are there any support groups for empty nesting, grieving parents?
My son is a junior in high school he is always gone between friends and first job and more it’s just hard I’m already going through empty nest