Thanks for watching guys! If you're interested in merch, there's a CRAM merch campaign going on at goop.store/ - buying one of those will support the channel! Also follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you know what to search.
nutty bomb why would you not expect THE D’angelo Wallace to be here? He’s the biggest man of culture and has the ultimate taste in creators.. and EVERYTHING for that matter; and Ted Nivison is the tastiest creator in the land my good fellow.
Caleb Angell I love milk. It is my life. But, we can’t stand whole milk XD. The hate is mutual on both ends. It just tastes light while whole and 1% and 2% taste so heavy lol.
as someone who has been lacking toes and tolerating ants for 7 years, i have never drank normal milk, only lactaid for fear of my insides exploding. Yes I eat cheese and other dairy products. I regret it hours later but its worth it.
As some who is lacking their toes and toddler ants, some milk (and milk products) is definitely better than others, however some diary is just not worth the hell that it opens though.
I recently found out I may be lactose intolerant so I tried lactaid, and it's pretty good! They don't actually remove the lactose from it, they add the enzyme _lactase_ which converts the lactose into easier to digest sugars. I guess that's what makes it a bit sweeter, but also it has a weirdly long shelf life? Like I bought some December 1st and it's good through January. As someone who never cared much for regular milk, I recommend lactaid for anyone wanting something a bit different with a lot less diarrhea.
thanks for sharing actually!! i don’t like milk because it grosses me out (also kinda makes me feel sick and i think makes my hormones more fucked and therefore my hormonal acne flare up) so i always drink oat milk. ive never tried lactaid really because it sounds disgusting like the spam of milks i guess😭 i always assumed it was gross and weird but it’s interesting to hear your explanation and that it’s actually sweeter. i’ll definitely try it at some point now lol thank you!
Things with a lot of fat in them tend to go quicker, is what I've noticed in the past couple of months. I had gallbladder issues and then surgery, so I had to eat a lot of fat free foods, and that stuff seemed to have longer shelf life. Idk. Ever froze milk and had little chunks of it that needs to be introduced to the water in the milk again, even though it's not past date or rotten? That's all the fat and cultures in the milk. The stuff that gives milk it's taste. Otherwise the rest of it's just water. How much water depends on how much actual milk is in it. That's the whole 2 percent vs 1 percent reason. Lactaid doesn't have that, so I assume it doesn't clump up nearly as fast as regular milk because it doesn't have the fat in it. Probably because there's more fat in, means there's more bacteria eating those fats. Idk, again. I'm not a milk scientist. lol I just know I personally have to drink a lower percent milk or lactaid, because my body currently can't handle the fat in the milk. Damn gallbladder ruins all the fun. Edit: I also noticed when my dad was freezing milk during the pandemic, that the lower percent milk lasted the longest and wasn't nearly as gross. Most likely because there was more water than the cream part of milk in it. So yeah, I'm not scientist, but I feel like I got a good theory going. lol
@@equaius893 the theatre kids I knew were just loud and cried about everything. The art kids never said a word, and the English majors just complain about English.
@@CHEESEDADDY Yeah, the strawberry milk at my cafeteria is godlike, I single handedly emtied the entire vending machine from strawberry milk in like a week.
Found out about ted through schlatt and im going through some of his videos, ted says he’s shocked about hitting 100 thousand subs in this video, he’s at 1.12 mil now, what a massive jump in subs since then.
Wait who discovered that goats produce milk? Like cows I get big fucken udder one night, truth or dare and some alcohol, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GOAT, WHAT THE FUCK WORLD
ted nivision... more like ted no-vision. ted i want you to know that your milk addiction will eventually result in bankruptcy. i once had your problem and i have arrived on your channel to warn you of your impeding predicament. please ted im begging you to stop. the upbeat 80s tunes did nothing to distract me from the pure sadness that this video gives me. from a worried civilian. get help!!
I feel like whenever something disappoints Ted, in or outside a RUclips video, the Minecraft cave ambience plays. Like, his son told him that he was gonna become a clown and ted’s just like “SKKRRRRRVBOOOMMMM”
Congrats on 100k Ted you're my favorite RUclipsr! Incredibly funny vids you tall man I love you, I hope you keep creating the best of content for as long as you want to ❤️
Fun fact I used to think that skim milk wasn’t made for human consumption because when I was really small at a hotel my brother almost accidentally put skim milk in my cereal and my dad said “what are you trying to poison her!!!” So I was completely convinced that no one drinks skim. And I still haven’t
Thanks for watching guys! If you're interested in merch, there's a CRAM merch campaign going on at goop.store/ - buying one of those will support the channel! Also follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you know what to search.
❤❤
Ok boss man
milk truck arrive 🥛🥛🥛
no
@@leepicfortnitefunniesxdfun4655
nice
ted violently waving scissors to then taste a shitload of milk is the most chaotic energy i’ve ever witnessed
Ted is the most chaotic energy i've ever witnessed
Problem?
I don’t think you understand. Ted *is* chaos.
Now you’re just milking it
stop that
He clearly likes it!
Charlie...
Go away Charlie
Leave.
i was JUST thinking *"god i wish there was an ultimate version of milk"*
Didnt expect to see you here
wait why are you here?? tf when did this happen?
the simulation has broken theres no way im seeing d'angelo wallace comment on ted nivisons video about the ultimate milk
nutty bomb why would you not expect THE D’angelo Wallace to be here? He’s the biggest man of culture and has the ultimate taste in creators.. and EVERYTHING for that matter; and Ted Nivison is the tastiest creator in the land my good fellow.
First.
Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberries, but it sure as hell tastes like *PINK.*
yeah
Precisely why it’s so good
I hate the fact that your not wrong
Yes
pink sauce but the opposite of deadly
I can't even fathom how strong their bones must be right now
7
@@TheComedyButchers ate
Henry M nein
Prowl I’m so proud of this community 😘
@@prowl1250 tin
The dairy goblin has delivered the forbidden liquid
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
🗿
ted is the man you were warned about in math problems
I was wrong, they are real
ted goes to the store and buys 90 ounces of milk, he dumps the banana milk into the sink how much good milk does he have left?
Joseph Liebgott gay
Somerandom PainTrain was that suppose to be a insult to op
*warned*
"You're gonna get arrested by the FBI for... I'm just gonna frame you."
Why is this so funny to me
my thought process went from:
“oh ted is back”
“is ted okay?”
“ted is definitely not okay”
“milk”
Elise I nose exhaled Intensely
@@MyAdbenture at least you weren't drinking milk
Elise milk
M I L K
In that order or..
Ted learned how to properly project his voice without hurting his vocal chords in choir class and just.....hasn’t stopped.
They taught us how during a kindergarten play but they never taught us how to stop so im just perpetually loud but smooth
he was actually in an acapella group LMAO
@@hayleymundy6943 loud but smooth is now living in my mind rent free
He speaks in ✨bold✨
I do this naturally and a choir kid brought it to my attention recently😂😂
Ted: "I would never threaten my fans"
Also Ted: "If you have a problem with that, I'm just gonna frame you"
"tastes like birthday cake frosting, 1/7"
"tastes like sour milk, 2/7"
???
Clearly you've never had 😎sour milk😎 before
@@donutholebandit6212 underrated reply
*cuts hair*
*points to plants*
“THOSE ARENT EVEN REAL! I BOUGHT THEM AT TARGET”
*threatens to frame us*
What a man
why are you surprised, this is ted nivison
Lmao
Later he then says "I would never threaten my fans
Crackhead energy
They’ve said “milk” so many times it doesn’t feel like a word anymore
Emily Fields feels like a place to call home
yeah i was texting my friend with this playing in the background and i said milk instead of bike
Take a shot everytime they say milk
"We need to bring all the milk people together"
Ted 2 minutes later: You like skim milk? Skim milk is like the worst milk.
Skim milk people aren't real milk people though.
Caleb Angell oh no, I don’t exist. Whoops.
@@theapotheosisTA you think skim milk is the best because you don't like milk.
Caleb Angell I love milk. It is my life. But, we can’t stand whole milk XD. The hate is mutual on both ends. It just tastes light while whole and 1% and 2% taste so heavy lol.
@@theapotheosisTA you like the one milk that doesn't taste like milk.
at one point my elementary school had plain milk, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, blueberry, and banana flavored milk all at one time.
Jesus
The milk god
I've never heard of blueberry milk in my entire life
@@thatguy3903 so good actually
Did you go to hogwarts??? My elementary had mold in the ceiling tiles.
"it tastes like an abusive father"
-Ted Nivison 2019
I can get over the fact that jacksepticeye is your pfp but your name is instant regret playlist which isn't a playlist its q channel...
@@yoshithepuppet6224 well I have an instant regret playlist...
as someone who has been lacking toes and tolerating ants for 7 years, i have never drank normal milk, only lactaid for fear of my insides exploding.
Yes I eat cheese and other dairy products. I regret it hours later but its worth it.
Bruh
Its good, not as healthy as you think, but its pretty good.
As some who is lacking their toes and toddler ants, some milk (and milk products) is definitely better than others, however some diary is just not worth the hell that it opens though.
Coward
Same here but I’m not a pussy
I love how confident Ted is in his opinions.
Nolan Henwood well he is the Milk Man
*facts
Well, he is right.
And when they eat something like a taste test or in the Minecraft recepies video on lunch club that he just *fucking tanks* it and straight eats it.
Well at the end of the day the two things that are always yours are your name and your opinions.
my dad, who's been drinking milk alternatives for years, really appreciated this
Ted is so underrated he needs more subs than he does. Hes hilarious and very passionate about milk. Strong bones.
Jotaro. for the first time I agree with you
Hello.... theres something about you that's different
@@johnliin you're not Diego....hm...
Yare yare...
Very true
they forgot rice milk, out of all of these stupid milks they forgot rice milk-
i don’t think they should subject themselves to rice milk
What in the hell is rice milk? and how did the milk rice!?
Seth Bomgardner i mean it's pretty good but I DONT KNOW
rice milk is lit rally the best milk too
@@tonimel-cao1848 Who's hurting you
Imagine being as naturally funny as this guy.
wuvboonk imagine being funny-
@@RichiesCupid69 oof my g
wuvboonk would suck not being funny
Sounds miserable
I would sacrifice an alarming amount of my loved ones to achieve that.
I recently found out I may be lactose intolerant so I tried lactaid, and it's pretty good! They don't actually remove the lactose from it, they add the enzyme _lactase_ which converts the lactose into easier to digest sugars. I guess that's what makes it a bit sweeter, but also it has a weirdly long shelf life? Like I bought some December 1st and it's good through January. As someone who never cared much for regular milk, I recommend lactaid for anyone wanting something a bit different with a lot less diarrhea.
thanks for sharing actually!! i don’t like milk because it grosses me out (also kinda makes me feel sick and i think makes my hormones more fucked and therefore my hormonal acne flare up) so i always drink oat milk. ive never tried lactaid really because it sounds disgusting like the spam of milks i guess😭 i always assumed it was gross and weird but it’s interesting to hear your explanation and that it’s actually sweeter. i’ll definitely try it at some point now lol thank you!
Things with a lot of fat in them tend to go quicker, is what I've noticed in the past couple of months. I had gallbladder issues and then surgery, so I had to eat a lot of fat free foods, and that stuff seemed to have longer shelf life. Idk. Ever froze milk and had little chunks of it that needs to be introduced to the water in the milk again, even though it's not past date or rotten? That's all the fat and cultures in the milk. The stuff that gives milk it's taste. Otherwise the rest of it's just water. How much water depends on how much actual milk is in it. That's the whole 2 percent vs 1 percent reason. Lactaid doesn't have that, so I assume it doesn't clump up nearly as fast as regular milk because it doesn't have the fat in it. Probably because there's more fat in, means there's more bacteria eating those fats. Idk, again. I'm not a milk scientist. lol I just know I personally have to drink a lower percent milk or lactaid, because my body currently can't handle the fat in the milk. Damn gallbladder ruins all the fun. Edit: I also noticed when my dad was freezing milk during the pandemic, that the lower percent milk lasted the longest and wasn't nearly as gross. Most likely because there was more water than the cream part of milk in it. So yeah, I'm not scientist, but I feel like I got a good theory going. lol
Yeah I like lactaid
This reminds me of the kids in lunch that would mix everything they had into one disgusting mush
I made the stuff and forced others to eat it
*cough cough* lunch club *cough cough*
That was me in 7th grade. I was always the one to eat it
me and a bunch of frineds used to mix applesauce and milk together and see who could chugged the most the real challenging was not throwing it back up
@@askewcat3209 you and your friends mustve come from hell what the fuck
This must be the milk that dad is searching for
Just Some Bigfoot With Internet Access ya how dare he take it that’s why dad has been goon for so long
Just Some Bigfoot With Internet Access Ape man lost father, so sad
Been looking for the milk for 15 years...
Just Some Bigfoot With Internet Access I was right, you are gonna be my own personal Justin Y
100,000 potential cram investors.
*Cram is actually just dried M I L K and i have no idea what marC is made of...*
actually im just worried now, *ted what is marC made of??*
Cram sword?
damn daniel straight with the facts again!
Dizzle2000 Laid in the sun for many days to be stronger than steel
Cole Hudson marc is the opposite of cram
Coconut milk: *exist*
Ted: And I took that personally.
YOU MONSTER 😤 SO THIS IS WHY MY FATHER NEVER CAME BACK WITH THE MILK 😭 YOU TOOK ALL OF IT
underrated comment
Atleast he didn’t come back with banana milk
holy shit
@@Moctezuma92 korean banana milk is great
So very underrated
Imagine the cashier that was blessed to scan that much milk at once.
When you hit a million subscribers, you should create the ultimate water, combining all of the brands of water you can find.
Vince Ábel Horváth yep
No... He is the Milk Man
including thick water
Bro dasani would undo all hydration previously present in the water
Worst idea
9:27 I was really excited for you guys to have strawberry milk but then I saw how looked… there is better strawberry milk out there, I promise
“I buy fake succulents and put them in the sun! Who does that?”
Me...I do that.
The minecraft cave sounds throughout this are all placed perfectly
*_"If you can milk a nut you can milk a plant"_*
Everything is wrong about that sentence
"But it doesn't say what it comes from."
i love how brian (or bryan) just knew after tasting the banana milk that ted would be utterly offended by it
Ted: **hits head with paper towel roll**
Ted’s hair: **b o u n c e**
When ted's voice dropped 12 octaves at 0:33 i lost a few years of my life
Magnapinna SOMEBODY ELSE NOTICED
Oh-
idk if im attracted or intimidated
@Alex S
yes you do
you know damn well
@@crab5482 you're not even wrong
Ted: "Oh don't use decimals"
Also Ted: 1.5/5 Kripke's
lmao
haha
1.9/5 KRiPkEs
the way ted talks intrigues me always making me want to keep watching his content
Ted: *drinks banana milk*
Ted: *vietnam flashbacks*
10:27
"Has all the promise of both an art and english student" those are bold words coming from a theater kid ted...
say what you will, at least the theater kids have charisma. the art and English students bring disappointment and sadness
@@equaius893 the theatre kids I knew were just loud and cried about everything. The art kids never said a word, and the English majors just complain about English.
@@equaius893 as an art student, can confirm
“Banana milk is confusing”
Doesn’t question strawberry milk
Strawberry milk is in every cafeteria. The good strawberry milk, not this shit
@@CHEESEDADDY Yeah, the strawberry milk at my cafeteria is godlike, I single handedly emtied the entire vending machine from strawberry milk in like a week.
Jel The God what brand we talking about? Cause Trumoo strawberry milk is about the worst thing I’ve ever drank
You guys got strawberry milk at school
LampCat I’m Scottish, we don’t even have milk in school over here.
Ted: "I'm just gonna frame you"
Also Ted: "I would never threaten my fans."
Ted’s humour is what David Dobrik thinks his humour is like
They're both funny
@@skiddlydiddlydoo4893 not true lol
@@skiddlydiddlydoo4893 nah David dobrik aint funny
@@skiddlydiddlydoo4893 nah fool, DD is t r a s h
This aged swimmingly
Imagine he did this in japan. This would be an hour long video
Ok cool the zee thanks
LivingDeadMeme ?
morgan yu Does he even live in Japan? The milk labels were in English
@@morethem2192 No, they were saying if he did, this video would be much longer. Ted lives in the U.S.
The_Creator oh I see thanks
Anything can be a milk if you squeeze hard enough, milk man.
so after I have a shower and I squeeze my hair, is it milk
What about Cram
Found out about ted through schlatt and im going through some of his videos, ted says he’s shocked about hitting 100 thousand subs in this video, he’s at 1.12 mil now, what a massive jump in subs since then.
smh you didn't even review the grayest of all milks
powdered milk
fun fact: snorting powdered milk will send you to another reality
ø k l c it’s called bü’thagūlår
RACCoon damn I wanna go
@Willow Rose and hazelnut milk
"it taste like an abusive father"
you forgot breast milk :(
god i want to like but I cant because its at 69 likes
Please be more specific. Do you mean Dog or rat breast milk????
@@AWormsPurpose rhinoceros
he already drank all the breast milk he could find
i felt my soul leave my body when i read that, thank you
"I bought fake succulents and put them in the sun!" lmao
That really hurt when he literally poured 5 dollars down the drain.
Juckett77 especially when they still needed it
@@chrisvvector banana milk wouldve ruined the ultimate milk anyway
It hurt cuz there’s a Korean banana milk that I love and it’s the only milk I actually enjoy
Sasha Blub dude the strawberry and the banana milks are so fucking good
I just realized that Ted is a reincarnation of iDubbbz and Carson
He reminds me of Ididathing
Nah, he's a bit calmer than whatever the fuck that combo would be
Ted is a neutral chaotic
ted is chaotic chaotic
How can you reincarnate 2 people who are still alive?
hes so confident sounding that i believed him when he said goat milk comes from cows
Wait who discovered that goats produce milk? Like cows I get big fucken udder one night, truth or dare and some alcohol, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GOAT, WHAT THE FUCK WORLD
@@Dogprofile uh goats have pretty noticeable utters too. Maybe after cows they were like “holy shit do they all do this?”
Just Imagine:
_Ted._
_In a Ghostbusters outfit._
_With the ectoplasm shooter filled with Coconut milk._
12:01 "I could've tried water." Poor Brian
“You like milk right?” *uncomfortable lactose intolerant silence*
Newsflash, dummy. Just tolerate the lactose and you'll be fine.
Mason Hills *lactose intolerance drops to 0%*
just don't listen to what the lactose says maybe then you could tolerate it
dude drink lactaid its literally just milk but without lactose
what is this heresy?
Whenever Ted walks into the grocery store, the employees are just like.
"here we go again"
The ultimate milk at the end was the definition of "negative + negative = positive".
Negative + negative is negative. Trust me, I'm a maths teacher. It's negative × negative that makes it positive.
I’m lactose intolerant so my insides are having a stroke
My brain is having a stroke from their fundamental misunderstanding of lactaid milk
@@blakejackson35 Just be 💕tolerant💕 you bigot ❤
@@archerymidnight3422 L
The funny thing is that most of these milks were plant “milks” which wouldn’t contain lactose
@@mildlymarvelous doesn’t matter the thought of milk was the joke this comment section is quite stupid from what I can tell
“im just gonna frame you” underrated ted quote
"I don't really know why you're all here" For your sexy voice silly
Trueeee
*I think this is appropriate to watch when eating cookies*
ted nivision... more like ted no-vision. ted i want you to know that your milk addiction will eventually result in bankruptcy. i once had your problem and i have arrived on your channel to warn you of your impeding predicament. please ted im begging you to stop. the upbeat 80s tunes did nothing to distract me from the pure sadness that this video gives me. from a worried civilian. get help!!
He knows too much
ted hates coconut milk and likes oat milk? very smart, i trust him.
@Emma Mathewson liking oat milk or trusting ted? cause ted is absolutely trustworthy
This is fascinating, he walks in store without a mask.
This Was Made 10 Months Ago.
@@zzzenith_zzzone Yeah, I know, it was just a joke
@@oliversuso1249 Thanks For Not Wooshing Me, I Can't Tell The Tone Of A Comment Through My Phone.
@@zzzenith_zzzone Bro, please dont take this seriously, its wortheless
@@oliversuso1249 I'm Not Anymore, Like I Said. It's Hard To Tell The Tone Of Someones Comment If There's No Voice.
Almost 2 and a half years later, and has 10x the number of subscribers! Way to go Ted!
it turns out that Pennsylvania's state drink is Milk
just thought if anyone should know it'd be youTed
Kitkat states have a state drink i’m gonna go look up mine
Its milk for Louisiana as well
I'm from Pennsylvania 😂
I’m from PA and I prefer meth
Mine is coffee and i am absolutely cheesed
The "plant based" milk is made from peas, it's p e a m i l k
bruh, you forgot about blueberry milk. its a thing, and its good. im lactose intolerant and i slurp that shit for days
Psycho Bear I’m the 69 th like. Nice
Wait w h a t
Bruh honestly Ted had the ability to be huge. From quality to comedy solid milk out of ten
Why is a video of a handsome man reviewing milk the best video Ive watched this week
Milk should be the new official worldwide currency
better than schlatt coin
Can I buy cram with milk?
i watch you because you are the milkman, and your milk is delicious
🥛
This video is pure chaos all the way through and I have to keep coming back at least once a year
I feel like whenever something disappoints Ted, in or outside a RUclips video, the Minecraft cave ambience plays. Like, his son told him that he was gonna become a clown and ted’s just like “SKKRRRRRVBOOOMMMM”
he opens his mouth and just *emits* the noise
**falls down the stairs*
WOOOORRRAAAAAAAAAAA
Underrated comment
“It’s not like when your drinking milk your only tasting lactate” IT KILLED ME IN STILL LAUGHING
take a shot of milk everytime Ted says milk.
you’d die
You would die from all the bone strengthening
We don’t want another milk outage. Sir William
“100000 subscribers!”… 4 years later and almost at 2 million subscribers
any and every kind of milk can be the ultimate milk if you believe hard enough
Is that an IT 2 reference??
WhySoSerious? no lol
Next: children
you forgot to add the VERY berry Cram milk
freddy what are you doing go back to the restaurant
@@finmiller9935 i am, you think there isn't a pc here?
The very raspberry berry cram
Electronic animatronic uses electronic devices yes
@@yourmom9283 thx mom
2 men taste testing milk
750,000 people: *huh, now thats content*
1m now
1.3m now
1.4m now
I'm lactose intolerant, like _very_ lactose intolerant, yet here I am subscribed to a man who talks about milk in 70% of his videos.
Listen, I'm here because I watch Carson and you're my favorite part of Carsons videos.
Same
relatable
When he went into the store I literally thought “wtf why isn’t he wearing a mask” and that’s how I know COVID has morphed reality
it’s sad, like literally how did i get confused by them now wearing masks. *this was in 2019*
One year later
Flax is a plant (idk if its in usa) but we have it in nz, we make flax flowers and weave things its pretty cool 😎
Congrats on 100k Ted you're my favorite RUclipsr! Incredibly funny vids you tall man I love you, I hope you keep creating the best of content for as long as you want to ❤️
Lactose-intolerant's Therapist: Don't worry Ultimate Milk is not real
Ultimate Milk: a
Ultimate milk: æ
Ultimate Milk isn’t real, it can’t hurt you.
Ultimate Milk:🏺🏺🏺🔮💈🧪🧪🧪📬🎈🎈🎈🎈🎎📇📇📏📏🛐🉑☢️☢️☢️☢️
Ultimate milk: ÿøü dårê øppōśė mê mørtåł
should've called it "creating the ultimilk"
thanks for making me forget my problems for 10 minutes, Ted. It helped a lot, u have no idea. Great video
"Ted no you're gonna break the milk"
Oh Yeah Baby, Milk Time
hodd toward is it relly you?? (
br
h
5:23
I would never threaten my fans
Literally five minutes before:
Threatens to frame us
Man, this was back when he was 100,000 subs. He doesn’t know how much he will have.
I got an ad for autism awareness on this video
i would not be suprised if ted had asd
Jiggle Boy serves you right
Milk them
I got an ad about if a baby goes to heaven if it dies
please don't use autism as an insult
6:39 was that the start of a Carson laugh
Oh my God it is
Fun fact I used to think that skim milk wasn’t made for human consumption because when I was really small at a hotel my brother almost accidentally put skim milk in my cereal and my dad said “what are you trying to poison her!!!” So I was completely convinced that no one drinks skim. And I still haven’t
Ted:
if you had Ectoplasm in one of those backpack things,
you’d look like the best _Egon_ from Ghostbusters *EVER*