Still working on finishing the merch website, but the link will be posted everywhere on all socials (and the new video coming out the 20th if I can finish it) - Hope you guys are excited for the merch, and thank you for allowing me to be able to release something like this! Truly an honor and a blessing folks
He walks up to you. "Hello," he says. It's almost as though he is speaking in bold. It terrifies you. What terrifies you even more is what he says next: "Nut butter." At that, he turns and walks away.
Can you imagine being the cashier seeing this taller than life man buying every type of milk or every type of nut and wondering wth is he gonna do with them
Just imagine walking down the isle of a grocery store and seeing a man, Taller than a _freaking_ *T-Rex* there, With a shopping cart... filled to the _brim_ with _nuts_
@@RudyJi158 Originally it was chocolate cut with hazelnuts because there was a shortage of chocolate during its conception in WWII. Sugar is only the first ingredient the modern mass-produced product.
Usually youtuber merch is horribly embarrassing to wear in public but the designs look very nice and if you told me it was an LA based skate brand I would believe you. Def gonna cop.
I’m really glad Ted told us that he wouldn’t be in the same house in the next video. I got to say a proper goodbye without being surprised, which I really appreciate. Thank you Ted.
I don’t know how he possibly perfectly described how the macadamia tasted by saying that it’s the worst part of the salad. A man of high lexical talent.
"bro why you so tired? Everything ok at home?" "Oh I'm good I just stayed up all night making homemade butter out of different kinds of nuts with my friend and then we tried to make the ultimate butter by combining all of them"
10:16 ohohoho a chance to talk about my culture? Yes please. (I'm aboriginal if anyone's curious :] ) Wendigos (win-dee-go) are people who have become overpowered by greed or resorting to cannibalism to survive. They become mutated. And turn into an evil spirit who wanders around in search of people to kill and eat. They know how to mimic human voices and lead their prey into their trap. Saying their name summons one. Being around one or being in contact with one for a prolonged amount of time will turn you into one. They are described to be tall, have pointed or animal-like ears with horns sprouting out of their head. Their eyes are described to be sunken and glowing like hot coal, they have super sharp teeth, horrible smelling breath and bad body odor. You're able to tell when one's coming when you feel fevered, extremely hungry, paranoid and easily ticked off and feelings of extreme coldness. They live in Canada and in some parts of the US. Also talking about my ethnicity, I should bring awareness about Residential Schools. (HUGE TW) Residential schools were implemented in Canada from 1871-1921 to take away indigenous children to strip them of their culture. Children were abused, raped and killed. In August they found over 1,300 bodies of children in only 5 of 139 schools. And it's so fucking sad that we may never know the exact number of how many children died because of some bodies being burned. And if any rape victims got pregnant and gave birth they'd get their babies thrown into the fireplace. I was first taught about these horrible places in school when I was 8, and every year we have a lesson taught about them. Every year on September 30 we wear orange shirts to remember the poor children who were killed, And to show that every child matters. This is a fucking cultural genocide and it should've been addressed years ago.
@@NecroEdward1118 It's because we'd have to change every road sign, throw out old cups and buy new ones, and manufacture everything with metric only on it, so it's too costly
Can I just say, that Ted has had by far the coolest add for his merch on his channel that I have ever seen, the musics bopping, it’s got the backstory clips behind the designs, keeps you interested as well, plus you can wear all of this without feeling like your gonna get judged for wearing someone’s merch because of how casual they look and how unique they are. You done good Ted ✋
hopefully we will see the lunch club in the trending page. I like how despite his videos getting there, he still maintains his true personality and doesn't let the mainstream media change who he is (idk just saying). Edit: tbh I no longer care. People get replying hmm and it seems funny
Someone mentioned on a previous video that Ted sounds like a theatre kid who learned how to project his voice and just never stopped. I have never been able to un-hear his constant shouting now.
My watch has the date, Pokémon go, Minecraft, fortinte, COD, what year it is, my heart rate, RUclips, access to the internet, Amazon, a key to my car, linex AND windows, eBay, and all my credit cards. The only thing it can’t tell is the time
I don't think I could go within 20 feet of Ted now that he has created and consumed the ultimate nut butter. His mere presence would be a death sentence
You should mix all the jellies and jams next then combine it with The Ultimate Nut Butter to make the Super Ultimate Awesome nut butter and jam sandwich
Still working on finishing the merch website, but the link will be posted everywhere on all socials (and the new video coming out the 20th if I can finish it) - Hope you guys are excited for the merch, and thank you for allowing me to be able to release something like this! Truly an honor and a blessing folks
First reply
No
I’m exited to check it out! 🙂
Ya like jazz?
looking forward to it ted!
Can this be counted as a biological weapon against kids allergic to nuts
Yes. It’s best if you shell them with it.
As a guy with a peanut allergy, i can confirm it is.
oh god no
Bioterrorism is illegal
@@BurneyDeux funny*
imagine you're just trying to get groceries and this big man with a terrifying aura just has a shopping cart filled to the brim with nuts
I'd never set foot in a Wegman's again
He walks up to you. "Hello," he says. It's almost as though he is speaking in bold. It terrifies you. What terrifies you even more is what he says next: "Nut butter." At that, he turns and walks away.
i would never go to my LIDL again
Listen. As someone who works at a Wegmans, I've seen some weird shit. Seeing 20+ kinds of nuts? That's just a Tuesday afternoon.
this is one of the best comments I’ve ever seen
the nut zone is my favorite place in the world
I love you schlatt
Same I plan on living there one day
Love you too schlatt
Thank you, Schlatt, very cool!
i hate all of you
“time moves differently in the nut zone” is a horrific sentence and i never want to hear it again thank you
@Hmm Prime mouth
Tell that to schlatt
@Hmm Prime it’s been a month lmao
@@syddddddddd25 but he said mouth
Every 5 minutes in them Nut Zone gives you an hour in the real world.
This could just be me, but think you might need just ONE more stick of butter.
It might just be a you thing
1??? He needed like 12 more
You know daniel I think you might be right.
You know what Schlatt? You’re dead wrong
Ok daniel
Fake: didn’t nut in the butter
Expecting the apology video immediately
I’m afraid you have been cancelled Ted Nvidia
He will be dethroned
@@dariusdrew7427 *EXECUTE THE FALSE PROPHET*
How do you know that he didn’t 😳😳
Theodore Nvidia, consider yourself canceled. Smh my head.
Don't worry, that was taken care of in the first half a second of this video
“The Nuts are in the Oven” sounds like the absolute worst euphemism I’ve ever heard, thank you Ted
I'm gonna use that in the future.
Welp, the nuts are in the oven!
That's what happens before you get a bun in the oven
@@xtremegaming1232 and then you go "ah, nuts!".
This is used for when a man gets a man pregnant
I'm a big fan of this "creating the ultimate" series
It’s a quest like no other
Truly
@Aiden Castanedaacosta damn I didn't even notice
Same
creating the ultimate series
Can you imagine being the cashier seeing this taller than life man buying every type of milk or every type of nut and wondering wth is he gonna do with them
Queen Queen big ceral bowl but w nuts not cereal. Like, put that shit in a childs paddling pool and soak
That was my first thought too lol!
What else do you do when you buy every available type of one thing? Consume each individually? Filthy casuals.
Daeighve Geoughnns i know it’s a typo but you saying you’ve been a catheter before actually knocked me flat on my ass
If hes taller than life at 6'4 then wtf am I at 6'7
My favorite episode of good mythical morning so far
No Ted, no...
Pinned but no heart
If this goes on “r/cursedcomments”, put me in with a red circle around me. Thanks-
• BAnᔕhEE • can i also be there?
😂
Now mix every type of jelly, and make an ultimate nut butter and jelly sandwich
Weevil I think you're really on to something here.
He should make some form of ultimate bread too
Zeke Lemieux like all the types of wheat?
The Gru jelly from despicable me 2
0k nOtHiNg this tops it off
Just imagine walking down the isle of a grocery store and seeing a man,
Taller than a _freaking_ *T-Rex* there,
With a shopping cart...
filled to the _brim_ with _nuts_
He's the man from the maths problems
“Sir do you realize that that is crunchy peanut butter? That’s a felony in 29 states, that’s not so favorite puppy”
@@iamstupid3822 Thats funny because i eat crunchy peanut butter out the jar with a spoon-
@@ihavenocockandimustcream yoooo the man with the nuts! all the different types of slightly different nuts that get their own variables...
@@ryleishields I love eating crunchy peanut butter! Not on sandwiches, of course, but on crackers or by itself? Amazing.
Alternate title: Ted and his friend go through every single stage of greif while eating nuts
i went through the 7 stages of grief at a dinner bell once
i guess you could say....
they went NUTS
Hey, buddy how you doing! (it's every not evry) (thank you for fixing it ❤️)
@Umbrella Driver that's just how much greif they were going through, they had an extra 2 stages
Jflo 1229 i’m disappointed in you.
How did Harrison go from “Scruffy college student” to “Balding dad in his mid 30s” over the span of 6 months?
Quarantine
B I G L I O N
College
That's Lester from gta 5 you are talking about
He looks like logic if he got divorced
The milk man is back
Wrong he is nut man now
The man himself
Give him a few hours and a dark room and he will procure the world’s first sample of NUT MILK
Nice pfp my guy (I own you now)
He never leaves
I think the fact that they never explain WHY just eating a macadamia nut "raises more questions than it answers" is why I love this content so much.
I want to make nut butter out of testicles
hazelnuts: “i was actually supposed to be in the video”
and peanuts shouldn't
Isn't Nutella made from hazelnuts?
not to mention pine nuts
@@emilpersidski No, Nutella's first ingredient is sugar. It's made FROM sugar WITH some hazelnuts
@@RudyJi158
Originally it was chocolate cut with hazelnuts because there was a shortage of chocolate during its conception in WWII. Sugar is only the first ingredient the modern mass-produced product.
“It’s not a sponsorship, it’s something pretty cool baby”: advertisement for guardian tales
i got a political advertisement for trump
deleted the ad there, sorry about that- RUclips puts them in an increments automatically
It still happens
Ted Nivison oh your good I just thought it was funny
Guardian Tales best game
I think one of Ted's most incredible humouristic resources are his facial expressions. I have never seen one twice.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE *HMM FACE*
Yaes
True
I feel like the way ted determines the rating system in these videos is by randomizing an article on wikipedia
That would make semse
lmao
Unus annus
@@cactusatackus8523 Memento Mori
@@theoneandonlymr.d thx
i was hoping they would taste it and ted would just go “eh” then that’s it end of video
I’ll mkk ikkkk mmm
M
Harrison just seems so broken. Ted managed to completely mentally and physically break a man. Can we pray for Harrison please?
He's even loosing his hairline
No.
Yes
As a person deathly allergic to all nuts, this terrifies me
The nuts are coming for you abb
Same bruv
Stop being allergic than, duh 🙄
Slothster 0612 😂
good
He missed the opportunity of saying, "I'll cashew guys around in the next video"
If this was a slimecicle video
@@justasmltwngir1732 slimecicle or the childrens plaything created by overly eccentric youtubers who exploit kids for their lack of innate reasoning?
@@PhoenixTwoFiftySix slimecicle lmao. Lemme edit my comment
I CAN’T BELIEVE I FOUND THIS COMMENT AGAIN TWO YEARS LATER AND CAME BACK TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING
The merch isn't embarrassing. that's a good thing
If i wasnt a *child* and i had money i would buy that merch
Usually youtuber merch is horribly embarrassing to wear in public but the designs look very nice and if you told me it was an LA based skate brand I would believe you. Def gonna cop.
papa ted does not let us down
Thank you! It is my goal to not be that thing but so far this is the only situation in which that has been successful
I’m waiting for this thread to explode because Mr. Nivison responded lol.
This isnt how nut butter is made. Everyone knows nut butter is made from nut milk from a nut cow
every cow is a nut cow if you treat her right
that’s how almond milk is made
@@sploinkbob no, almond milk comes from almond cows. We're talking about nut cows here
I’m really glad Ted told us that he wouldn’t be in the same house in the next video. I got to say a proper goodbye without being surprised, which I really appreciate. Thank you Ted.
this feels like kickthepj shade LMAO
i love how you can see it get darker and darker outside in the window
It’s the world slowly descending into chaos as the ingest more and more NUTs.
"It's very alright" Yo pro cooking advice: add salt. Salt is the only salvation from this hell known only as "nutbutter".
Salty nut butter...🍆⛲
Villainous Nice guy I’m going to hurt you.
@@cedarsforest7999 sounds kinky...
I think he needs to add just one more stick of butter
Harrison: *uses the spoon normally*
Ted: *_"how did you do that?"_*
"Time moves differently in the nut zone" Harrison - 2020
I don’t know how he possibly perfectly described how the macadamia tasted by saying that it’s the worst part of the salad. A man of high lexical talent.
You can tell it’s actually been four hours when he says “what you think, will go, what, walnut, will it butter?”
“Will It Butter?” Would be a great video concept
Timestamp?
@@foxinabox_6626 13:37 I got u
@@zekelemieux7829 ty ur a legend
Harrison doesn't need to imagine having a mythical being as a friend, Ted already is one
69 likes
@@mimithebunno pog 😎
hes got some cute nails
The pure agony in Ted's voice when he said "It's 2am" is just pure beauty
14:00
@@ellotheregovna401 thanks, kind soul
‘my eyes feel like they’re falling out of my head’ we did it guys. we found the secret ingredient.
i wonder if ted knows they sell pistachios “unwrapped”
shhh dont tell him let him make longer content
You mean the pistachios without forskin?
We can’t let him know
@@carlwebber4094 someone needs to take your rights away
@@frogdrewathing8095 His names Carl he is black I doubt he has them to begin with.
i love how ted always just brings in one of his different irl friends every food video and never properly introduces them
Alternate Title: “Two men slowly descend into madness while making that good nut... Stegosaurus?”
n u t b u t t e r
Stepbrosaurus
Ted: *mentions how almonds taste sweet*
Me: so that’s the cyanide.
so he is about to die, got it *scribbles notes*
But cyanide almonds are bitter?
I like that only Harrison's left hand has its fingernails painted
king
i only paint my left hand too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Probably to prevent biting fingernails
I'm going to be completely honest, the crunching sound effects just make this video for me.
it's the different theme songs for each nut for me
I see you too are a fellow of culture
I personally enjoy the black screens with the stock photo of the nuts on screen while some random music plays
Finally, a person of quality
They could've theoretically just put all the different types of nuts in at one time and saved themselves
Yeah but then they couldn't have tried all the flavors separately. Not like they sell those kinda things. Jeez.
"bro why you so tired? Everything ok at home?" "Oh I'm good I just stayed up all night making homemade butter out of different kinds of nuts with my friend and then we tried to make the ultimate butter by combining all of them"
alternate title: two grown ass men spend an entire night staring at a food processor
i love that ted goes straight from nut butter to aliens and pyramids
“Nut Butter. It’s an enigma.” God I knew I was in for a treat when he started with this
Also the Wegman’s love is immaculate
I like to think that it isn't a sound effect and whenever Ted eats something someone's bones shatter.
"You should have some basis for that bias"
"No.."
Anti-vaxxers be like
Warning: Do not try this at home if allergic to nuts
Why not??
oke
Well there go my plans for tonight.
Ah no I was gonna do this I was really excited about it too
I am allergic to tree nuts but I can have all the peanuts in the world
Ted: “It’s something frickin cool, baby.”
Me: *gets Chromebook ad*
10:16 ohohoho a chance to talk about my culture? Yes please. (I'm aboriginal if anyone's curious :] )
Wendigos (win-dee-go) are people who have become overpowered by greed or resorting to cannibalism to survive. They become mutated. And turn into an evil spirit who wanders around in search of people to kill and eat. They know how to mimic human voices and lead their prey into their trap.
Saying their name summons one. Being around one or being in contact with one for a prolonged amount of time will turn you into one.
They are described to be tall, have pointed or animal-like ears with horns sprouting out of their head. Their eyes are described to be sunken and glowing like hot coal, they have super sharp teeth, horrible smelling breath and bad body odor.
You're able to tell when one's coming when you feel fevered, extremely hungry, paranoid and easily ticked off and feelings of extreme coldness. They live in Canada and in some parts of the US.
Also talking about my ethnicity, I should bring awareness about Residential Schools. (HUGE TW)
Residential schools were implemented in Canada from 1871-1921 to take away indigenous children to strip them of their culture. Children were abused, raped and killed.
In August they found over 1,300 bodies of children in only 5 of 139 schools. And it's so fucking sad that we may never know the exact number of how many children died because of some bodies being burned. And if any rape victims got pregnant and gave birth they'd get their babies thrown into the fireplace.
I was first taught about these horrible places in school when I was 8, and every year we have a lesson taught about them.
Every year on September 30 we wear orange shirts to remember the poor children who were killed, And to show that every child matters.
This is a fucking cultural genocide and it should've been addressed years ago.
"Because Harrison and I have to be out of here in 4 days"
*makes the nut butters*
"...in 3 days."
The hard cut to “its 2 Am” resonated with quarentine self
the small 'huh?' after you rise from being water boarded gets me every time
"1 to 5 stegosauruses" Americans will measure in anything but the metric system
Honestly yeah, like I'd use the metric system if everyone else used it but we just don't lol its tough
@@NecroEdward1118 It's because we'd have to change every road sign, throw out old cups and buy new ones, and manufacture everything with metric only on it, so it's too costly
@@sambradley9091 its doable if done gradually over time, ie requiring every new road sign to be made with both metric and imperial
i personally think instead everyone should measure by size of dinosaur/number
I've heard a cat described as "3 apples long"
Why do I live in this country?
Peanuts are actually legumes so technically your eating bean butter.
I believe you
beanut butter
Creating the ultimate bean butter?
BEAN BUTTER
Do could you make butter bean butter??
There were so many "nut" related jokes that weren't said, but should have been
And they totally missed the best one:
1:18 "Harrison, do you even know why you're here?"
Harrison should have said, 'I do nut.'
The fact that Harrison stayed for this entire video just shows he is a good friend.
Milk video: “Almonds are the worst nut.”
This video: “4/5 stegs”
“We need to be out of here in *checks watch* FOUR DAYS”
I have a Casio w-201 watch, so it tells me the day of the month and week
Ted Nivison pog
Ted Nivison poor ted has gone crazy and Harrison is just chilling in the background
@@TedNivison well aren't you fancy
@@TedNivison out here flexing a $20 watch, this I good.
Oh god what if they made sticks of nut butter into rectangular prisms like normal butter
*And why do I fear it so much*
Holy shit your butter comes in rectangular prism sticks?
Did you partially get this idea from a recent rooster teeth animated adventures
Smokey it do
It’s like a really big french fry but butter
13:40
*Rhett and Link frantically trying to think of other things to butter*
“All the worst parts of a salad” great analogy
So the whole salad
@@ethancollins3789 silence salad taste great
how ironic that Kellogg invented nut butter when he hated nutting
This is the definition of an underrated comment
"Arrivederci, as they say"
As an Italian speaker, no, they do *not* say goodbye, as they say.
i’m happy that i wasn’t the only person who noticed that lol
è quasi come se fosse uno scherzo ò_ô
csdrew22 sì ma un po' di male scherzo (mi dispiace per errori non fluente in italiano :'])
@Just Time nice
Can I just say, that Ted has had by far the coolest add for his merch on his channel that I have ever seen, the musics bopping, it’s got the backstory clips behind the designs, keeps you interested as well, plus you can wear all of this without feeling like your gonna get judged for wearing someone’s merch because of how casual they look and how unique they are. You done good Ted ✋
Are we just ignoring the fact that Harrison wants to be friends with a Wendigo.... that which EATS HUMANS
Just don’t let it eat you what’s the problem?
youre also not supposed to say its name is superstition so rip
Censor the e because it's bad luck
No, a wendeego. Totally different.
Power Spirit wendeego Montoya
hopefully we will see the lunch club in the trending page. I like how despite his videos getting there, he still maintains his true personality and doesn't let the mainstream media change who he is (idk just saying).
Edit: tbh I no longer care. People get replying hmm and it seems funny
Hmmm
Hmmmmmm
That is bullshit words
Hmmmm
Hmmmmmmmmmm
I love how they just gave up on the stegosaurus rating system in the middle
Harrison eats everything in this video like it's gonna kill him and I love it.
Someone mentioned on a previous video that Ted sounds like a theatre kid who learned how to project his voice and just never stopped.
I have never been able to un-hear his constant shouting now.
I have literally never wanted to buy any youtuber merch but that “the good stuff” pin or patch or whatever it is... i need it
i was like "HE'S FINALLY SELLING HIS OWN MILK" then i was like "oh just merch"
I keep coming back to this video and the cereal one. I always loved Harrison as a guest. Hope he’s doing well
"Crunchy? You got fucking crunchy?!"
"Is there a problem?"
"W-where do I begin!?"
Absolute fucking best way of describing crunchy peanut butter
hey i know you made this comment 7 months ago, BUT CRUNCHY IS 10X BETTER THEN CREAMY
@@Courier8_6 I politely disagree
@@Courier8_6 I violently disagree
@@natesal5037 no offence but, WRONG!!
@@Courier8_6 that’s it! I’m getting me mallet
kinda scared for this, but i’m sure it’ll be fine
“We have to be outta here in...”
*Checks watch*
“4 days”
My watch has date, day of the week, and time on it.
My watch has the date, Pokémon go, Minecraft, fortinte, COD, what year it is, my heart rate, RUclips, access to the internet, Amazon, a key to my car, linex AND windows, eBay, and all my credit cards. The only thing it can’t tell is the time
Trip - does it have the drug compartment as well?
AllenIsAngsty ok
@AllenIsAngsty nope, it’s an older modle
I love walnuts and I loved Harrison’s “idk it just made me happy”
eating dirt must've been fun for Harrison
“Its very alright”
Ted Nvidia - 2020, and now me in every situation.
*Nivison
@@_ryannefrancis_2824 *nvidia
@Jack Barden Telenivison*
As someone with an allergy to most nuts, I'd probably die just by walking in to that room
I love how he has a picture of whatever the videos topic is on his monitor
Me being allergic to all nuts hmm yes if I was there I would die
Yoo same here dude
@Koen 145 I will try but if I don't respond soon I am dead
I think so
Harrison is the smarter kid you’d hang out with in science class
Not gonna lie I was just watching the ultimate milk.
Nut* gonna lie
Same
i was watching lana rhoades funniest momts
Hope whoever moved in after them didn't have a nut allergy.
should've gotten schlatt to help you out, he knows A LOT about nuts
they call him the nut man
wait no-
The king is back and he bears the gift of buttery nuts
Didnt realize there was an ad before his announcement and i thought ted was gonna be in the live action mulan movie
Everyone knows the laws of physics. You can make a liquid out of anything if you blend it long enough.
Nut butter is made in Detroit Michigan in a underground laboratory
Thanks Obama
Thanks Barack
Thanks Obama
He's right
@@nutbutter1410 i thought you made that account a couple mins but u joined 3yrs ago
This looks like something a 4th grader would turn in for a stay-at-home science fair project.
I can’t even think about being in the same room as that without needed like 20 EpiPens
same here buddy
Hah suckers
Allergy gang rise
Why no one really cares bruh all of you with nut allergies always want to say something
I don't think I could go within 20 feet of Ted now that he has created and consumed the ultimate nut butter. His mere presence would be a death sentence
HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THIS GLORIOUS VIDEO AND HAPPY (almost) ONE YEAR TO YOUR FIRST MERCH DROP
Fun fact: A Stegosaurus’ brain is the size of a Walnut
so is mine but you dont see me bragging about it
Land of the lost reference?
So is yours if you actually believe this
They had two brains.
@@chefjim1285 That's a misconception.
I bet Ted spent at least 10 minutes choosing the perfect song to represent the life and soul of each nut presented on the screen
I’m starting to see a trend, macadamia-anything is bad. Macadamia milk? Bad. Macadamia nut? Lacklustre. Macadamia butter? Horrible.
Hawaiian macadamias are better and if theyre regularly roasted theyre even better regular meaning non dry roasted
Chocolate covered macadamia nuts are proof of god
Sebastian L it’s a religious experience eating those
i love this video especially just because ted and harrison both become just so so miserable over time
You should mix all the jellies and jams next then combine it with The Ultimate Nut Butter to make the Super Ultimate Awesome nut butter and jam sandwich
The bread should be an ultimate multigrain as well