Steven Seagal
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
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Audio is from Cum Town, Episode 36 - Goatee Era Seagal (1/18/2017), with guest Ben O'Brien
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Hell yeah dude
I don't know if I enjoyed Nick's or Stav's special better. Both probably make my top 10 specials of 2023 for sure though.
This seagal review is one of my favorite videos on RUclips, it is absolutely hilarious, well done
@@Scott-fy7fm the "rain man" one is awesome
the way he just says 'whats happenin' to a 5 year old romanian child killed me lmaoo
"CHE MA FARTS"
“Was hanin”
Hahahaha
He might as well been like “How’s it hangin, lil’ n*gga?”
Does she even speak English? And if so, why?
I love the way he holds guns. The stock is like never in contact with his shoulder. He's so fuckin strong he just absorbs all the recoil with his limp wrists lmao.
Or the way he swaps sides with his rifle without a care for the empty cases that will fly into his face :)
🤣🤣🤣
He puts the stock over his shoulder like its an RPG, amazing.
You can shoot any gun that way no problem. Especially a 12 gauge..... No shouldering required. You barely hold the gun and your trigger finger absorbs all the recoil for best accuracy. All 65 year old ultra special undercover secret black ops guys know this.
And the man has fat eyes. The first person in the world with fat eyes.
Him wearing his sunglasses while sniping is the funniest thing ever
They even had to retouch the reflection of the sunglasses. You could probably see the camera in the reflection or something.
not to the guy he fuckin shot from 50 yards away,he was thinkn "thats the coolest mutherfucker ive ever see"**** (pink mist.)
It’s so realistic come on 😀💩💩💩💩
@Southern Fun haha
Jules D lol that’s not super far fetched I’ve shot my scoped rifle with my glasses on
"Well, it started with Glimmer Man and now it's progressed to the point where he just talks like a slave" had me dying laughing
Making movies in Moscow…….he is Шлях трафи
steven seagal sounds like hes physically exerting himself just by talking
HE EVEN LAGS LIKE A CHEAP COMPUTER!!
XD
He is.
at this point in time - he's killing himself by simply talking outside of "slavery" accent
I can swear I saw a Seagal movie where it was obvious someone else was doing his ADR with a half assed impression.
No wonder why Seagal whispers everytime he talks,
I can never hear a thing he’s saying most of the time.
I literally fell on the floor when I heard Seagal's voice and realized that they weren't exaggerating at all.
Proposition steve
I thought he was fucking kidding when he said they sold her to a pedophile.
norseman bushcrafting ooo
Did you literally fall on the floor?
man what the fuck am i missing with his movies XD
“Are you really as good as they all say you are?”
“eryaghfjwnbs”
Goddamn it that was fuckin hilarious
What did he actually say lmao
@@andreipulosul1492 'every once in a while' lmao
@@weedwin7356 *EVRYONCEANAWHILE*
4:32
About every six months I check in on this masterpiece.
This is so gold.
Once a month for me tbh
Same, the commentary is GOLD
1 a year for me
Same!! It never gets old.
Fun fact: Seagal has claimed once to be immune to any chokeholds. In order to prove it, he had a stuntman put him in a chokehold. Seagal promptly lost consciousness and also shit himself.
Good Ole Gene Lebell
Hahahahahahahahhayahahahahahha
No Gene also put him in a hold.
There was a stunt man who's team complained Seagal was being too rough.
When Seagal heard the stunt guy was some belt in an art form he told him put him in a choke and he get out of it.
The stunt guys boss said go ahead and old steven could not get out of it and after a bit of straining he tapped and headed straight to the toilets 😂
@@JMmkting Hahaha, thank you for the clarification on the story mate :)
The true (skid) mark of a great warrior! 😁 😁 😁
The fact Seagal choses to remain completely clothed during the sex scene says to me that he's aware of how he looks
or the woman only agreed to do the scene if he was fully clothed... dudes a real sleaze ball...
Pretty sure the leather jacket is now a part of him.
Maybe just maybe he comes from the old school of thought that you don't get unclothed with a woman unless you are married to that woman. Dummy.
@@roberttimothy1338 LOL
Or may be his belly weight might physically prevent her from getting close
"this is my sister"
"WHATS HAPP'NIN"
holy shit i nearly fell off my chair
"Stranger danger!"
😂😂😂
I was laughing so hard I started to cry hahaha
I about pissed myself. Wtf greets a little 6 or 7-year-old kid like that?
@@TheSchematican the little sister? Open up, this is the FBI
“Fatly going around corners”
Omfg I died from laughter
😂
Hahaha me too 😂😂
"fatly coming around a corner"
Stellar
Priceless
Exactly! I fell out of my chair 🤣
Holy fuck I gut chuckled so hard at this
Come on the guy is 68 yrs old
Steven Seagal is the kind of guy that wakes up the entire family to let them know that he's going to bed
WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE!?
ughhh "immm going ....to....bed...ok uhhhh🤣
I’m na get me maaa slippers motherfuckers
I'm totally ripping off RCR here, but I think it fits.
Steven Seagull is the kind of guy that shits himself but keeps singing happy birthday.
@@Prototheria I would love a pet Seagull called Steven Seagull 🤣. I have a Miniature Schnauzer called Arnold Schnauzernegger 😊. Yes I agree 😂
he talks like robert downey junior in tropic thunder talking about the jeffersons
YES!! That's exactly the character I was thinking. Downey killed that role!
and looks like Danny McBride has been playing him for the last 15 years,
@@M2Mil7er Now I want to make a Steven Segal Movie but swap out Danny McBride and not tell anyone. Put Segal in the credits, and on the poster. But when you see the movie it's Just Danny McBride
He's got a little Chicano twang in his voice too
"whayddya mean 'you people'?"
I listen to this probably once a month
lol me too,still funny :)
Same my favorite clip from CT
I had a dividin' rods tells me there's gold in dem hillz.
at least tenth time for me.. everytime I hear his name I wound up here
Everytime i hit the slopes i rewatch this. After i listen to jazz for 17 hours
A lot of people don't know this, but Steven Seagal actually knows karate, taekwando, judo, jiu jitsu and many other types of dangerous words.
King of improv
Nice
I’m not gonna lie you got me in that first half
He's been doing martial arts for 85 years
@@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd Marshmallow arts more like
He's sniping from 5 feet away, shooting at a devout taliban islamist I'd presume, who is drinking liquor, out of a flask. it's amazing.
Why Would you ever hire him instead of vandamme
Uteop He served two tours in Foreverever Land with Frank Dux bro. Jokes aside does the first bullet hit the flask and dent it? Lol
M Lo i thought it was some type of anti material rifle or some shit
@@TheSchematican Oh man, I'd forgotten about Frank Dux. Thank you for mentioning him. And it looked like it may have, which I imagine it wouldn't in real life, it would completely over penetrate and leave a very clean entry and exit.
I like how he needs to shoot the flask first....😁
Seagal is just the navy seal copypasta in human form.
😂
more like gravy seal
More like Navy meal
More like big fat fuck
More like buttered veal
“Limp wristly firing the gun” is brilliant
"Fatly going around corners". A brilliant description.
Dude that was so fucking hilarious because then they show the scene and that is EXACTLY what’s happening. It’s such an apt description.
@@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis yeah, just gut and gun barrel.
A close second is where he's "limp-wristedly firing" and they show him just turn the gun like he's nonchalantly turning off an oversized water valve to shut off the yard sprinkler instead of actually participating in a firefight.
It’s seriously one of my favorite lines. I come back to it every time and still giggle.
lol
😂😂😂😂😂
"That means one of us has to die." Said Steven Seagal to the bacon double cheeseburger.
The burger got revenge later, by giving Seagal terrible diarrhea.
@Casey R. Fair.
@@leighbelk769 more like a cardiac arrest
@@quakethedoombringer Yeah, makes sense.
Hahahahahahahah
"He's fatly going around corners." Lmfao 😂
Steven should be respected he’s the greatest Buffet Master of all time
Sounds like yo mamma!
I feel bad for the corners. His weight could do some serious damage if and when he loses his balance while fatly moving near them.
Best adverb yet.
one of the funniest lines I've heard lol
4:33 "Are you really as good as they ALL say you are" -- The fact she added "all" ("they say" wasn't enough -- no, it must be UNANIMOUS) is proof Seagal himself wrote that line
good catch
You can actually tell they dubbed over the original line to add "all" lol
@@latentfuss711 nah she says it
"Fatly going around corners..."
I'm fucking dead.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
“His body sucks...” 😂
can tell u do not know what respect is shure can tell your mom and dad did not teach u it
One of the greatest lines ever said.lmao
@@kevinshaw4569 I bet you walk fatly
The way Seagal holds his rifle is completely embarrassing.
Paul Marchano “fatly going around corners”
"Stock propped up on his shoulder"
A little higher and he'll be holding it like a rocket launcher.
I had to rewind every time he held a rifle, just to laugh at how bad it was
The fact that it was still so out of control and flipping around in his limp hand when firing BLANKS was hilarious.
Segal sounds like Robert Downey Jr as the black guy in Tropic Thunder.
Ha! Lincoln Osiris!
RDJ is far more better
@Rocky Dennis do you mean Robert Downey Syndrome?
That's an insult to the character in Tropic Thunder! 😂😝😂
@Michael W there you are...
I knew I wasn't the only one 😁
I gotta say, the editing here is top notch. When Nick switches gears, the clips also switch to match exactly what he's talking about.
I would bet money Segal watches his own movies, often.
I have very little difficulty believing he does.
I remember one story of segal’s talent agent walking in to see him sobbing in front of computer. He asked Segal why and segal said, “I think I just read the best damn script ever written.” His agent replied “Hang on, I didn’t forward you any new scripts. Who’s this one by?” And Segal turns to him to whisper, “Me.”
@@VisitTheCosmiko The story is from Rob Schneider
I bet he's never even seen a movie in his life
Narrating along the way
Don't mess with the Gravy Seals
bringing a whole new meaning to 'hot insertion' xD
gray seals ?
Meal Team 6, Semper Pie brother
"The goddamn cook's a seal?!?!"
Lmao
Neighbor: "This is my Sister"
Seagal: "Whats hannenin"
I read this comment before I saw that part of the video and it made it so much funnier.
My future pick-up line for all eternity.
100% honestly - I laughed at this comment for over 30 seconds, and every time I re-read it I start again (laughing as I type even) 😆😂🤣
I’ve only seen this video about 50 times and it already is one of my all time favourites.
they should have cast him for Tropic Thunder and just told him it was an actual action movie
That would have been brilliant
The idea of Big Seagull in that movie has my imagination running wild! Woulda been great!
@@balefulbunny if reality ever gets reset, i vote @Mhammerable to be in charge lmaoo. my head is spinning with the possible hilarity that idea entails. SHANE GILLIS!!!! IF YOU READ THIS!!! steal this mans idea and make this a sketch lmao... a concept this good can't be squandered by the likes of... _network television_
@@bob3007 the humor of this absolutely disappears after turning it into a sketch as all of it relays on the authenticity of Steven's performance
@@Obiniu good point 🤙🤙
Seagal is the most convincing actor ever. In every movie he plays Steven Seagal perfectly, even the same voices are the same. He's a genius.
Half of Steven Seagal's Film are dubded because he couldn't be bother to pronounce words properly.😂
@@Sofus. Yeah what is that all about?
There's that vampire film wherein he speaks maybe 2 minutes, the rest is bad, bad dubbing.
😂😂😂
His range is extraordinary....
He’s been a trained thespian for 127 years
Seagal really looked at a 6 year old and went “wus hapnen?” like she’s an old friend of his.
Alpha move
He was just geniunely confused about what was going on. His age is taking a toll on him.
I thought the same thing.
highkey autistic as fuck
I immediately had to pause and go to the comments section to see if anyone noticed that.
That’s how I say hello to black guys at work
7:35 I love that line so god damn much, "Fattily going around corners" made me cry laughing because it so encapsulates all of Steven Seagals movies from the last 30 years 🤣
'He's fully clothed and she's naked, he's still wearing sunglasses.' I had to grab a glass of water because I choked a little on my own laughing tears just now.
That's very Neil Breen of him
He only wants to do himself.
I was watching at the bus stop and I legit dropped on my knees. Good shit
Easy ride, though, smack his arse, and ride the ripples. Job done.
@@JoeChillton😊😅
My favorite quote about him is “With every movie he makes, his gut gets bigger and his audience gets smaller.”
because he eats them.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
His eyes also get smallee
I think i heard it first on MXC
@@PrincessofPower84 Hells yeah! That's indeed where it's from!
Fun fact: dude I shoot with was an armorer on a few of his direct-to-landfill films, he said Segal would stack two McDonalds chicken sandwiches one on top of another then eat them both at the same time.
You’ve never stacked 2 McChickens and scarfed em down? Lol what a loser
That's normal
Heard Steven Seagal is going on a diet. One cow instead of 2.
Bruh McChickens hit different
@@ThjyuGaming And I'm sure it was just a snack.
The way he shoots the gun has me dying 😂
To use “Fatly” as an adverb genuinely kills me
I think "fatly" is my favorite new word 😂
I use it all the god damn time now
And it fits perfectly 😂
Fatly, dumbly, uglyly
rip
"he's just fatly going around the corner" - that's fucking brilliant, nearly shit myself laughing at this
unlike Seagal that actually shit himself
@@Scornfull *Adam
@@StarHarvestOfficial Seagal*
I died hahahahahah
"fatly" is my new favourite adverb.
HE KEPT HIS JACKET ON FOR THE SEX SCENE LMFAO
He’s got a lot of fun hidden things in his pockets
It's a tactical move.
@@nickmattio3397 whoop. Like that
Good lord ,,, Do you really want to see him without a shirt?
prolly pulls it out through his underwear to pee
Oh my god…that discussion was one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a while. I was DYING
That female actress deserves an oscar for keeping a straight face during that scene asking “if he’s as good as they say he is”
That 'female' actress; as opposed to those male actresses I guess
I think the woman in the sex scene deserves an Oscar 🤣
@@iainrickwood2623 ey, listen. These days gender is a tricky topic. You COULD have a male actress. Don't ask me how please.
@@TheReelDealFilmReviews she deserves free therapy for life
@@TheReelDealFilmReviews that woman deserves way more than that
I like that Steven Seagal either has or will see this video, and he'll inevitably say the words "Cum Town" out loud at some point.
😂😂😂
*inhale*
cum townuhh *exhale*
Y’all play too much
The title of his next film should be Cum on Town
"Whozis Nick Mullen muhfugga?"
Modern Steven Seagal movies are effectively trying to convince you that a man who's probably older, in worse health, and honestly less attractive than your own father is a badass.
not effective
critically effective! 😂
Guy of Minimal Importance reminds me of Tom Segura’s bit.
He is older, in worse health and less attractive than my father and my dad is a fucking alcoholic.
"Just fatly going around corners." Incredible 😂 This guy's amazing.
Seagal is very successful at being unintentionally hilarious. Imagine if he had even the slightest amount of self awareness, he'd be making a fortune as an action-comedy star.
Glad I came back to see this comment.
Do you think it would still be funny?or lose the magic of he knew and did it on purpose.
@@WorldWidePatriots Yes, I think it would still be funny if he became self aware and did it on purpose. It's not simply mocking himself that makes it amusing, it's mocking the fake tough guy persona and over the top absurd action movie genre that's amusing. Movies like the expendables still do just fine even though the actors and writers are aware of the self parody. By not being self aware he comes off as straight pathetic. Still funny, but, in a sad way that most emotionally healthy people tend to ignore, hence the lack of financial success and tendency for more of a mean spirited mocking then a good natured ribbing.
by Seagal do you mean Tom Myers?
So very true 🤣 🤣
JCVD has done exactly that
Much respect for this man of men.
Former Meal Team 6, Gravy Seals AND Green Buffet.
😂😂😂
Overdosed on laughing by this one 😂
@James Marshall Top Sirloin Gun
brilliant
Don't forget former KFC champion (or, judging by his physique, current?)
I love how the Muslim Islamist is drinking alcohol in his movie
You'd drink too if the only operations they sent you on were against Fat ass Seagal/
Muslim Islamist? lol
@@hangukhiphop makes sense not every Muslim is a radical
Hahaha
@@hangukhiphop I was about to say exactly that.
"There's three human transactions in this movie"
10/10
"fatly" that is the perfect word to describe anything that Steven seagal does
😆😆7:35. That shit gave me the giggles.
fatly fart noise at 52s
"34, he isn't a.. young guy.."
That got this 35 year old's eye a bit teary.
Don't feel bad, when I was 21 everyone older than 25 was 'ancient'. I can guarantee you its the same with the guys commentating.
I'll be 31 in a week...
@@spets4265 When I was 26 I was callled an "old man" by chicks 20 at the bar
I just turned 32 and people call me a kid still. Some woman said "Ahhh! Your still a baby." Little strange but I guess theses guys are all 20 - 24 or so.
They have 35 is middle aged 😂
This part cannot be said often enough: They used a body double whenever he had to walk stairs. They never show his face and he's noticeably thinner in those shots.
but the double has to wear a fat suit to look like old Stevie :)
@@jorgvonameln7819 and has to walk slower to keep the same pace that Stevan would.
Please say this is a joke.
What, so he just never moves at any point in his life? Haha what a human sloth.
"We need to send our *best* Special Forces guy, and he spends half the movie in a chair!"
... and the other half he apparently spends off set while the body double moves around a lot.
I swear I saw a scene somewhere not long ago from one of his recent movies where his character walks up some stairs, only it was an obvious stunt double. Literally used a stunt double to walk up some stairs.
🤣🤣🤣
Do you know the name of the movie?
Seagal is on the verge of having a heart attack every time he stands up. No wonder he has his stunt doubles do the walking for him.
No that was when he was young and fat he climbed a stair thats one stair then sat down .
@@Yoda-em5mt idk what you’re talking about but, no. Whatever you said is absolutely not what I’m talking about.
The kid is just warming up at 70. He has many decades ahead of him to star in many great movies.
And he's still on the payroll of the CIA, and even the CIA don't have clearants (sic) to know that knowkedge, 'cos it's not declassifried (sic) and it wont be for a very, very, very, very, VERY long time.
*_You can take that to the bank, Senator Trent: the bruh bank! (Bruh)_*
Many is a bit of a stretch
@@alextoschi2242 steven seagal will live to be 187 years old
I can see his last movie: he's frail and weighs less than 100 pounds because he's in his 90s. Three Russian mobster show up to kill him and he magically leaps from his bed, throws away his respirator and wipes the floor with them
While sitting in bed. And you know, Seagal probably DOES have a few movie scripts lying in his house for quick retirement checks...
He's a vampire like Keanu reeves...except he got turned too late in kife.
When they rolled credits in Sniper Special Ops half the cast members appear under "in memory of..."
yo hol up. when’s that cause i’m not watching that shit movie
he probably ate them
@@thesalamilids it's because they're all o.a.f. lol
@@awest182 holy fuck that's good
Sniper Special Ops has the record for longest credits in a motion picture clocking in at 45 minutes, with 42 of those minutes listing off everyone credited as "Assistant to Mr. Seagal"
You guys are hysterical. I could listen to this a 1000 times. 😂
It’s a podcast called Cumtown lol, has since turned into The Adam Friedland Show
I've been back here twice in two days and a minimum of 5 times since I first watched it. It's pure joy
@@hardcoreclassicenjoyerdefinitely one of the best bits of the podcast
He craps these movies out for the foreign market. Seagal is literally and figuratively huge in Asia. They love the “black cowboy” voice
he's the last bastion for the classic american action heroes the world fell in love with. ain't that sad? foreigners want Arnold but all they get is Seagal
maybe 20 years ago
Super popular with older Filipino men here
@@EliasPoint true with older Filipino but the young or that saw his peak in 90s can't stand him
If you watch any animated Ghost In The Shell, the character Batou is based on him.
"Are you really as good as they say you are?" You know he wrote that self-serving line himself.
Just how he wrote that unaware jewel:
Sheffer: What happened to you Robert?
64 year old Seagal on a chair: *I never went soft*
@@rigelc.hoffman2496 he's not wrong, you can't go soft if you were never hard to begin with
like u and your mom and family show
respect
Steven doing a sex scene so half assedly while fully clothed is comedy gold
His movements are so quick he slides in and out before she notices....
he looks so sad while doing it too
@@dage2079 Oh she didn’t notice, but not for that reason 😜
“the russian mafia sounds pretty reasonable” FUCKING GOLD
All his actors being above 60 is the reverse version of the problem all student films have where every character is 23.
I’d rather watch these movies than those shifty student films tbh. Way funnier and more entertaining.
The 'teens' from Spiderman...
Geez Louise.
@@EndOfSmallSanctuary97 We get it you voted for Trump
@@ChangedMyNameFinally69 wha how does that correlates
@@blakecameron People whining about student films seems sus
"He refuses to take his sun glasses off when looking through the sniper rifle"
I felt off the chair laughing, twice.
Did the chair enjoy it?
This clip was so good it made me listen to Cumtown podcast for around eight months which almost destroyed my life.
I've been listening for about 16 months and my life has improved, which tells you how shitty it was before.
Hell yeah dude
Sounds about right brother!
Same here
@@Trisket huh
Seagal also insists on this editing technique that involves removing frames in action scenes to make him appear to move faster and hit harder. I love it.
Let's take a minute to appreciate how well those clips were put together to show the progression of Steven Seagal's obesity
...and absurdity...
Dude Steven Seagal sounds like Alec Baldwin doing a Steven Seagal impression.
Whuzappnin'?
Or Baldwin lazily doing a slave
Sounds like Sgt.Osiris doing an impression of Billy Crystal.
Marry me
Steven Seagal is just living life doing what he wants, doing what he loves-Being fat and pretending to be a badass.
It's the american dream.
(Wipes tear)
Just like the rest of us lol
@@TheChuckFina Russian, Serbian, and American dream
The ideal lifestyle
While also human trafficking and money laundering.
This was perfect in every way.
At this point, Steven Seagal movies are just Steve’s fantasy land adventures where he’s the hero and heroes don’t get old.
"Fatly going around corners" Yep sums them up perfectly.
I lost it on that
7:36
He should have added that guy that plays the tuba around fat people to illustrate his point
Woman: “And this is my sister”
Steven to 5yo child: “whazz hapnin”
😂😂😂
I died when I heard that
Bro, I was in sitiches
He sounds more like a Tom Segura impression of himself than he sounds like Steven Seagal lmao
So awkward.
CIA, FBI, KFC…seagal is in all of them
2:59 Believe it or not, That old man is actually more badass than Seagal ever could be. His name is Dale Dye, who is a legit U.S Marine veteran, fought in the Vietnam War and served as a captain, awarded the bronze star medal and 3 purple hearts, and founded Warriors Inc., an organization that helps actors portray soldiers in war movies more accurately.
Oh damn, never knew this. I knew he looked familiar, he played Col. Sink in Band of Brothers! Brilliant series and casting on that one.
Well. He failed in that movie. 😬
Yup, Dale has done more for people than Cum Town ever has, lol.
@@Boomerangi13 Yeah he's done a handful of war films. He was also in Saving Private Ryan.
He was in "Platoon" too
I respect what Steven is doing
He's helping get retired wrestlers some beer money.
*SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK*
He's getting RVD weed money
@@relentlesschaos7445 you mean pill money. Lol
AyeRaxX710 Nah RVD is just a Stoner baby. He saw enough of that hard shit in the locker room tho
@@tobieolson242 nah, he did take pills for a period, but he was able to get off them before he got bad with them when he saw what was happening to guys like Jeff Hardy and shit.
I feel like Steven farts a lot on set and the crew just has to deal with it.
"It's like I always say, we have to blow it and we have to blow it now"
~ Steven Seagal [On Deadly Ground, 1994]
He did shit his pants once after claiming his aikido training made him impervious to being choked unconscious. Somebody called his bluff and Segal let him try. Dude choked Segal out and Segal shit in his pants.
Oh, thats a power fart. Thats how he asserts his dominance over the entire cast and crew.
Sounds reasonable to assume that he farts on set.
I think he's more the guy who shits with the door open and he even likes to talk while taking a shit...and he doesn't shit silent or normal, he might push and moan like a lot. But hey...he's the big star of the film.
If they were ever to make a biopic of Steven Seagull he should be played by Danny McBride.
McBride would have to put weight on.
@@itsconnorstime Fair enough 😁
SEAGAL: A Life. Starring: Steven Seagal.
@@Drazakhan_Dynasty guys, it should obviously be Will Sasso playing Steven Seagal in the biopic.
Robert Downey Jr.
"Are you really as good as they all say you are?"
-"Erreywonceanywhile"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 HOLLLERIIIINNNN !!!!!!
💀💀💀
“Murph murph.” Belch
I feel so bad for that actress. Imagine spending your life at your craft, probably dreaming of acting in movies, working your way up through regional theatre, finally getting a break to appear in a movie with a decent budget... and you have to deliver a line like that. Just brutal.
@@mjxw Hey I'm sure she used the 50 bucks she got for the role for something useful.
"I really wanna write a movie where Steven Seagal kills James Bond."
The film when he batters Bruce Lee is good. Lol
does anybody else just come back to this every few months?...every line in this video is gold
Yes, I return to this quite often.
I do
" every once in awhile"
hell yeah dude, im gay
Its funny
The fact people keep funding his movies is amazing and I'm so thankful to them.
What kills me is that some of his coactors seems like they're trying to do their best. But his mere presence destroys the scene.
The scene, in which the man that he saved. Thanked him. He answered back, without looking at him. Ah, come on, Seagal.
Its like he's doing an impression of Robert Downey Jr's role in Tropic Thunder...
Fatly.
Took a whole lotta trying
Just to get up that hill
Now we're up in the big leagues
Getting our turn at bat
YES!
Lol I was trying to remember who he was reminding me of thats it thanks.
Or was Robert Downey Jr doing a Steven Seagal impression in Tropic Thunder?
Steven Segal is real life Robert Downey Je in Tropic Thunder
He’s more like Ben Stiller’s character, washed up action star
Exactly what I was thinking of! Lmao
Steven Seagal is definitely the movie star of all time, every movie he makes is a movie and it really shows the imagery on screen
Truly an actor of time.
"And that's Steven Segalls definition of a good man." LMAO
I fucking died of laughing
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The best line in the whole thing! Very funny.
Using the term "fatly" as an adverb is the funniest shit, and I die laughing at that part every time i watch this
lol that stuck out to me too
Same this is my fave segment ever.
(:
I felt attacked, but can’t stop laughing...
like u and your mom and family show
respect
All of Steven Seagall's movies are his dreams come true. He even has more hair now than he was 35. He's an idol.
The more fatter he gets, the thicker his hair is.
He found the fountain of eternal youth, but it had obscene amounts of sugar
like u and your mom and family show
respect
can tell u do not know what respect is shure can tell your mom and dad did not teach u it
@@kevinshaw4569I take it you're a Segal fan? I bow to you fellow Segalite, caw caw
Every few months, I always come back to watch this masterpiece
"... just fatly going around corners..." The greatest summation of Steven seagull ever👏👏👏
the best part is the edit: right when he says that, Steven is coming around a corner stomach first.
"WE NEED OUR BEST SPECIAL FORCES OPERATIVE!!!"
A 300 pound, barely mobile Steven Seagal enters the chat. 🤣🤣🤣
He is like 360 at least lol
A 300 lbs 70 yr old with a widows peak that puts Vegeta to shame. And he somehow smashes these 20 something yr old broads in all his movies. Priceless..
“I’m putting a team together, we’re meeting at Dunkin’ Donuts in 30 min”
Lol barely mobile
@WungusBill "Ah'ma snatch every muthafucka birthday!"
“Just fatly going around corners”
Actually lost my shit
Me too. How does one go around a corner Fatly lmfao
7:37 “Just fatly going around corners…”
I’m dead!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
fatly going around corners
Damn Andy didn't think I'd see you here
An example of English morphing for the better.
You taught me how to blender. Thank you.
I died at that 😂😂😂
The greatest adverb
I will never be tired of hearing,"The Asian connection is between Seagal and the dialysis machine".
More like the high fructose corn syrup connection
Yep this got me
"fatly going round corners" hahahahahahhahhaa
7:36
Yeah, I laughed my ass off at the invention of the adverb "fatly".
@@scottcantdance804 Best part is that the adverb really describes how he's moving.
This is a roast for the ages. I come back to this from time to time out of pure joy.