The #1 Conversational Technique That Keeps A Guy Interested On A First Date
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 11 фев 2016
- ►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts from dating expert Matthew Hussey --- bit.ly/1EpQNbm
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my RUclips channel now.
I post new advice videos for you every Friday and Sunday.
***
Do your words escape you on a first date?
You know you’re an interesting person, but sit you next to a guy, order a drink, and then find you don’t know what tosay and suddenly you can’t find anything to talk about!
Should you just randomly grab a topic? Movies? His shirt? The "crazy" weather we've been having lately?! (heaven forbid).
In this week’s episode of LOVELife, we go through some REALLY simple conversational foundations that will make you engaging and ensure you never run out of things to talk about.
***
Links at the End:
There Isn't a Spark: • I Don’t Feel That “Spa...
Embarrassing Sex: • What Gets A Guy Sexual...
Get the Man of your Dreams: www.howtogettheguy.com
***
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey
► FREE DOWNLOAD: “9 Texts to Get Any Man” → bit.ly/1EpQNbm
► FREE DOWNLOAD: “5 Complements to Get Him Addicted to You” →ter.li/tdxzcy 
Кино
![How Sweet - NewJeans ニュージーンズ 뉴진스 [Music Bank] | KBS WORLD TV 240524](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UEELqlGOl_k/mqdefault.jpg)
Standing up dj style . Drop that love advice DROP IT
Lol
hahah good one :-D
God this guy is a fucking genius. Like when I meet knew love interest I notice that awkward thing that kills the mode is "facts" and questions. It starts to feel robotic and forced. Where as opinions actually feels natural and interest.
Why not go on a date that doesn't allow for too much talking at first, just to break the ice, like something sporty if you're into that or artsy, a dance class or whatever. Then you do dinner after and you'll have lots to talk about by then.
That is what I had in mind. I have never dated and most likely will be having a date on Thursday and my idea was bowling. Its so much fun, I am a huge sports fan in general.
This is a great idea
And you get to see how they interact with others too
Alex Kroll how did it went?
"Fitness Singles" shares testimonials on FB for active dates like this
First dates are scary...but when you click it's so much more scarier because your vulnerability kicks in. This guy is GENIUS
A good friend of mine told me to not be too serious during a date just laugh here and then thatll make it easier for both of you
This guy is fucking brilliant
Social Intelligence: 100%
You really have to pack up yourself with conversational starters if you plan to have your first date because first date is a very crucial thing. It is where you can be attractive to your date or in a worst case scenario you can turn off your date.
Touch early, Sit next to each other, Involve in external situation
To talk about: Notice what's happening around you; get past facts and logic and get into emotions
I never had to deal with awkward silences... but still good to know.
That's because you're a woman and not an undesirable male
Aww what a sweet heart he has .
Dropping into your heart is the way to go. It is magnetic!
I just started watching your videos and I am amazed because such a young guy gives a great, beneficial advice on relationships. You were born with this gift?! :)
Jasmina J yeah right! so agreed with you ☺ he is totally wise.💅
feel the same way for Matthew hussy the stunner. .
Sooooooooo agree with you. In fact I already roll my eyes and instantly get bored when a (new) person asks me "what do you do for a living" and can already predict what the conversation is going to end up like. Lol. Also think that these questions/answers don't really define me as a person necessarily. I on my side tend to never ask that, in part because it also doesnt interest me. Call me insensitive but when I meet a guy/girl whoever at a bar..the last thing I'm thinking of is what he/she does for work. Rather than...I don't know...mention whatever caught my attention in the first place. Or whatever else is on my mind... ;) makes it so much more exciting!
ikkarus87 I thought I was the only one! I agree with you wholeheartedly. There’s so much to know about the person rather than what they do for work.
@@malyikaj The question is usually "What you do?", surely someone has interests and activities that the worth replying. It is a cultural habit to ask that question, just like variations of "how do you do? " Or "how are you?" It is not a question, but an acknowledgement that conversation is being sought. The automatic response without thought is expected "fine". It serves the same purpose as "pay attention to me, I would like to talk with you" the same a phone call start with a ring. Answering anything else besides the automatic answer throws them off and startles them.
The person might be a brilliant conversationalist but those safe standard auto questions and responses are a cultural feature. The only words that matter are those which follow the first auto question.
worse when someone doesn't respect your opinions or wants to argue about them because they disagree..
Then it's a simple hint for you to not pursue a relationship with that person, because if they can't value and respect your opinions at the start, and feel the need to argue, being the alpha male and knowing 'better', there could be many daily life disagreements later on in life so just let it be.
+Katarzyna Dabrowska To argue about something is not necessarily a bad thing. Just listen to eachother, think about it, admit you are wrong or disagree and stick to your opinion. If at the end of the argument you still have different opinions, accept and respect it and go on with your lives. Counts for men and women. It's how you keep a healthy relationship, because you can't always agree with eachother.
Jasper Alblas it's great because sometimes you can tell more about the person when you argue with them, not when everything is going really smooth. But the thing is on the first meeting they wanna see a girl that is down for everything they say, they just can't understand that there is a difference between me and them. Maybe it was my bad luck with guys, who knows ;)
+Katarzyna Dabrowska Yep, you definitely have some bad luck then :p
Well, i hope you find a openminded/intelligent/handsome guy. Don't give up, there are a few around ^^
Jasper Alblas I hope so!! thank u a lot :) hope you have a good day/night
mutual interest = easy communication ^^
This is the die-lemma of conversation. Love Matthew's accent. Great advice which allows you to just be yourself.
As always, excellent advice.
I love your advice, I wish you did longer advice videos :))
me 2 :D
+girlyanna Nahh, I kinda like the fact that they are short. My reason? Cause it gets to the point! The overall message of this video is much stronger than many advice videos which are much longer. And the fact that Matthew also gave some very good examples helped!
I need them short!
Great advice, just talk about something you are doing or did over the past few days. Thanks!
Needed this video this week 👌🏻👌🏻
By Jove!, Matt is the real deal! 🔥
So nice advice and I love it all your advice videos.. God bless
you are awesome. love your videos. extremely insightful.
Another great point there. Thanks, Matthew! =D
+Matthew Hussey Brilliant!
This guy is really good!
I know this is obvious,, but this is where technology has screwed us ,, we talk so much over texts and we dont have anything more to say becoz it has already been talked about over texting🙆🙆🙆😩😩😩
Can you speak on 2nd, 3rd etc dates please in the next videos???))
If there are questions you want answers to before really relaxing with him, continue with the theme of the first second part of the first date but as soon as you feel comfortable do something that is a shared experience. The first date, and maybe into the 2nd is talking about history and views, which were all before you met and the next phase should be creating your common history. Doing something together, such as seeing a play and discussing it later over a late dinner or taking a long walk to someplace you would like him to experience to understand your nature better, or his. If you two have a mutual attraction everything you do together will be something that is unique to your present, not your history. You do not need a script or plan when meeting friends so relax and be yourself with your new friend. Men are not some alien creature, they are much more like you than not. It is ok to be silly or concerned, just as you are with your friends. If you do form a relationship, friendship with him is the core of any long term relationship. If he is not your best friend, the one who you can't tell all too, maybe you want a relationship more there is enough trust to allow it to be a natural result of your personalities meshing.
I hope it worked out and you have the best friend in your life who just happens to be your lover. It is better to like a person than need them.
I've watched a few videos like this and for I have seen there are a lot of Matthews in this business. 🤔
u kno what we do that... every time randomly!! but unfortunately not where it is needed the most!!
Shay was such a sweetie ❤️
Does anyone else get a little giggle out of doing the very last double drum beat in the air with their hands?
I do! XD
Hi Matthew, I'm just trying my luck here. Not too sure I'll get a response. But here's this. I went on a lunch date with a guy I met online last Thursday. The lunch went well in that we found out we had some things in common and we both laughed quite abit throughout the lunch. He even showed me his dress up pic for some house party. When he was paying for lunch, I offered to split but he says I can treat the next time and when we parted, he said see you soon. Abt an hour or so after lunch, I texted him thank you for lunch and he said welcome and nice to meet you. I then replied nice meeting you too. And that it was such a coincidence we both went to the same university in the UK. He said yeah super coincidental. I didn't reply Coz I didn't know how to continue. And he hasn't texted ever since. Should I text him for a second date? Or is he just not interested?
i had a mate that used to do the slow mo run bay watch
It's opinions, yes, to some extent, but it's more just thinking with another individual through conversation. Conversation IS thinking.
Beautiful video Matthew!
I so love you Matthew :) Dreaming to meet someone like you😍😍😍
quarentine; glass of red; matthew hussey
how about that i already had a dinner with him and when it was going he told me that he didnt want to really focused to get a gf because he's very busy with his works but he completely do romantic when i was with him and he asked me to go out on a second date. what does he really mean? and what should i do? he's so confused me
Hi Matthew! Podrías ponerle subtitulos en español a tus vídeos me encantaría poder entender lo que dices tendras muchas seguidoras latinas Mia Astral nos habló de ti saludos desde México gracias!
but also if you have to force the conversation and theres no chemistry in the dialect i say move on
+Jasmillmelisa
I agree. You should not run out of things to say. Just be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else.
Hello there!! Could you please explain for me what is your meaning of "chemistry"? I'm the type that don't talk much in the first few dates but I do feel something for others. I don't know what do my dates think/feel? I assume that I'm "forcing the conversation" and they don't feel the chemistry like I do even though we had good times.
+cwon930 I get quiet also if I am with a guy I am interested in. Just try to be yourself since eventually you will have to be yourself in a relationship and you want to get the right guy and be compatible with them. Chemistry maybe due to the guy reminding you to someone in your family tree that you may have unresolved issues with. When you heal it with the new person you also heal it when the family member. Enodmorphins are high for 6 months, but then wear off. You need to be able to be yourself..not high on endomorphins if you want someone that is right for you and not just lust/fantasy. Being a "friend" and romantic is better than romantic only/lust only and no compatibility. It is hard to force myself to talk...maybe it brings out the feminine in me. If you say your opinions and they don't agree then you can screen a date and figure out if they are compatible. Only reflecting a guys opinions is a one sided relationship. You need to be able to have opinions/ Narcissists may not want woman to have her own opinions. They are very charming, but very dangerous. You tube has videos about narcisissm/codependency. Best wishes.
+Shasha8674 interesting point! I think i get what you mean perfectly. I'm planning to ask my crush out for tomorrow lunch before he's leaving to another country for work. I'm kinda scared about everything, tmr date or the near future. I'm scared that my silent might ruin the very last chance to be with him :(
cwon930 WHAT HAPPENED? UPDATE
I remember once I went on an online date, and when we got to the restaurant the guy got angry at me for looking over at other tables. He asked me what was more important going on at other tables that wasn't going on with him? I didn't know what to say. I've never had anyone criticize me for looking at another table for a moment. So really at this point, I guess it's best to keep your eyes frozen on the guy for fear of insulting him.
+RedTango Being curious about your surroundings is nothing to be angry about. Dating should not be about fear. He probably became insecure when you were focusing on other things than him, maybe mistaking it for disinterest and rejection all together, and he chose to react with anger. A man secure enough with himself wouldn't become angry over something like that. If you keep looking away, chances are even a confident man would wonder what you're doing, but even then he would phrase the question more respectfully like, "What are you looking at? I want to get in on the action." Just remember with that date it was *his* choice to be insulted. You seem like a person who knows how to maintain good eye contact, so please don't give up your curiosity for the sake of getting someone to like you.
Sounds like a total psycho.
He would've been left right there
That guy was very insecure. DO NOT keep your eyes on your table for fear of insulting your date. That was the first red flag-his reaction.
Need help here!!! I have been dating this guy for a year and a half now, we don't live together and we get to see one another only once a week.
So we mostly talk on the phone, however, we used to have very long conversations, but lately we are running out of topics to talk about.
I tried to "keep him on the phone" and spark the conversation, but our conversations on the phone are getting shorter and shorter.
What do you think I should do? This isn't normal, right?
I hope it got better. But phone and text are no substitute for communications in person. How are those hours together when you DO meet. If they are also getting stale, you need to look at whether you really are into each other that much. Do you have an active spontaneous conversation or activities when you meet or is it routine? A vacation, even if only a weekend, where both of you are out of your routine would certainly show you whether you both are as eager to pursue each other. 18 months is a long time without some definite commitment for future plans. Do you have firm plans for marriage or sharing your lives together? IF not, why not. Are than any impediments to being together more or living together? Which of you would be able with the least disruption to be the one to move to the other. Less text and phone is better, use them only to arrange for your meetings, or simply sending a one-way text "thinking about you and our next meeting. Couples that really wanted to be together have braved all sorts of discomfort and ordeal to be together so unless he only gets out of jail on a pass once a week, there probably is no overriding reason a couple who are really motivated to be together, stay apart. Ask him if he would be pleased if you moved to be with him and watch his reaction. You will know instantly. Routine kills any sense of adventure and anticipation.
Which of you texts or calls the other? If it is always you, pull back and let him prove he wants to talk with you mid-week. Don't call or text until he enthusiastically connects with you. A man who is into you, will make time, will climb mountains to be next to you. I know I have. Heck, I gave away everything businesses, houses, an airplane, but kept one house and one car in California to be with a girl 8,000 miles away in another country, that was 20 years ago. we are not together now but it was with no regrets. He needs to show more determination to be next to you.
Good luck!
What about if I've been on quarantine for the past two months and not so much has happened in my life ? What do I talk about :')
Edan, If you are isolated and have a developing relationship, What better topics than things that are real that you experience? You will be talking about this experience for decades, so why not share your thoughts, concerns and discoveries with him, if he would not be thrilled that you opened up to him, he is not the friend you want and could value. Trust me, if he is normal, he WANTS to know your thoughts.
On the other hand, if you have no current love interest, you certainly have something in common with the men you meet when it is over. What are you doing with your "downtime"? It is a great chance to do the tasks or creating you have found excuses to avoid before the pandemic. Depression will set in if you do not keep active even if all you accomplish is cleaning out the closet from hell or painting your bedroom walls. Being active, in control of your fate and environment makes all the difference in your mental state, relaxed alone time without interruptions is something you probably dreamed about before, enjoy it now that it is an opportunity. You have the world at your fingertips with the Internet, seek out some new friends, but do not waste your time on dating sites.
Seriously, even though women have all the advantages on dating sites with 800 men looking for reasonably normal women. But only losers use apps dating sites. But there are millions of hobbies or special interest sites where norma people interact with other normal people, of which few happen to be the opposite sex. Focus on local community sites or ones within the convenient travel distance. What interests and hobbies do you have that men might be interested in also, get on those local forums or activity club web sites. For people with busy hectic lives, this downtime ought o be viewed as a welcome vacation.
Once this is over, go do what you like, and meet men there who are there for the same reason. For example, if you really live theater, striking up a conversation with a man at intermission in the wine bar would be a natural result of seeing the first act and wanting to share your impressions with another person. Go do things you enjoy and make you happy and meet people doing the same for the same reason is 100 times more effective than scanning photoshopped photos and fake profile text. You would be amazed to find out that most men are too polite to approach a woman so only the jerks who do not care if they are intruding are the only men that approach you. It would be very successful to just introduce yourself to someone who might be interesting. The good guys are not wishing to disturb you even if they would like to meet you.
Who wants to be my valentine? 😊
🙋🏽🙋🏽🙋🏽
How can you tell if he is just a nice guy or he actually likes you? Help
+Omasan Ekah Go to Matthew Hussey's video, "How to tell if a Guy likes you."
If a man likes you and really wants to get to know you. He will initate the contact FIRST thru txt or a phone call. That shows that you have been on his mind. If he doesnt do that then, and you are constantly calling and txting him not only is it giving him power to control the situation but you are not giving him a chance to see if he cares about you or thinking about you.
Anyone from san diego wants to be my Valentine's?
THANK GOD I HAVE MY MAN MAX EDWARD ORELLANA HERE IN ABERDEEN MARYLAND. HE LOVES ME EVERYDAY. BUYS ME LONG STEM ROSES AND JEWELRY. BUT MOST OF ALL HE TELLS ME EVERYDAY THAT HE LOVES ME. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND AND ALL DAYS AHEAD. 💞💞💞
What the fuck...
+Angela Shelton Why is everything you said in ALL CAPS!! lol so dramatic
Anybody tested out the Troplusfix Dating Secrets (do a google search)? I've heard numerous awesome things about this popular dating course.
He looks so hot here
~Im far more interested in a guy's political & religious opinions, than how many siblings they have?!?~
I sure that your techniques work on men but does it work on you too? Well, since you know every move I was just wondering...
Guys don't want to talk about opinions about things they already made their mind up on. But the current situation is a good bet. #alfamale
Let me reword that. Alfa males or "high class" "self made men" don't care about not only your but the worlds opinions on something set in stone in their mind. That's what made them great that's what makes them confident that's what makes them men
+John Doe So "Afla males" care more about what the world thinks of something, then what the lady across the table thinks about it? Glad im no afla male then, sounds kinda lame. Even the term alfa male sounds ridiculous. But hey, thats my opinion. So you don't need to care xD
+Jasper Alblas exactly. Guys that get what they want don't give up because people disagree with him.
+John Doe You should not always get what you want. You become spoiled and arrogant. Admitting your opinion is not always the best, is how it should be handled :p
+John Doe Alpha are narcissistic and may only want you to mirror/reflection their opinions..not have your own opinions. I would not want to date a guy like that. Men don't have to be narcissistic. Confidence is good, but not letting the woman have her own opinions is not ok.
🌸
I think it is pointless to go on a "talking"-date with s.o. ... why not do sth. together like sharing a movie or sports activity both like ?? I don't get talking-dates, only with a girl-friend, but still then there has to be some kind of activity or plan to make... u know ?
How is it possible that anyone would actually need this advice? We all have friends, right? And when you hang out with them, you don't just sit in silence. Obviously, you already know how to have a conversation with another human being.
Heather Muffins bc for some ppl it is bot the same to talk to friends and to talk to a stranger. with your friends you already know what you can talk about but with a stranger who youre trying to get to know its more difficult
I don't have any friends
Well not with someone you find it hard to have something to talk about. Conversation is something i really struggle alot. Especially around guys i find it really hard to start a conversation with them.
Hey there. I have new vlog on recovery and sobriety. I would love if you checked it out!
it sounds so upstaged. like u know these persons.
Tell him you ask Matthew how to talk to men and he will say he asked someone else how to talk to girls. Boomm!!
yeah..repeat what she says..thats what they like. this is set up