The BIGGEST Male Insecurities in Dating Revealed… | Matthew Hussey

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  • Опубликовано: 28 май 2022
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    So this wasn’t the video we’d planned to release this week . . .
    But an online conversation turned into something so unexpected that we scrapped the original plan and recorded something new, because I couldn’t wait to talk about it.
    The video this week is all about bravery and kindness, and my goal is that by the end of it, you will understand and be able to relate to men a little better.
    Your coach,
    Matthew x
    P.S. Which revelation surprised you the most? I look forward to reading your thoughts as we continue this discussion . . . which has already become one of my favorites.
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Комментарии • 633

  • @k9luver701
    @k9luver701 2 года назад +396

    When I heard the insecurity about "not measuring up to previous boyfriends " I burst out laughing. Not at the person who was saying it but because my previous boyfriends were SO bad. My fault for putting up with egregious behavior and not breaking it off at the first red flags. I am single because those previous men didn't treat me well. Be kind, caring, and treat me with dignity and respect and you will be LIGHT YEARS ahead of anyone from my past.

    • @sun_rose123
      @sun_rose123 2 года назад +7

      Amen to that

    • @Erin-uz2gf
      @Erin-uz2gf 2 года назад +14

      Yeah exactly me too!! Well they're EX boyfriends for a reason.....if anything we're hoping you're the opposite of them lol.....learn our lessons with them and go on to find a better person all around, kindness is an astoundingly beautiful trait to recognize in a person but especially in a potential partner....

    • @Mandy.S.
      @Mandy.S. 2 года назад +9

      No need to worry about that here, either! The only worry would be if you're anything like him, you're out! 😅

    • @Sk8erMomAndBoys
      @Sk8erMomAndBoys 2 года назад +4

      I totally agree and that's why I'm still single lol

    • @flutterlybutterly6188
      @flutterlybutterly6188 2 года назад +2

      Agreed!

  • @missmo463
    @missmo463 2 года назад +242

    I wish we didn’t allow ourselves to get in our own heads this much!

    • @misslanapaulford
      @misslanapaulford 2 года назад +10

      Sadly we can be our own worst enemy.. it can be a constant struggle 😪

  • @beccamay8768
    @beccamay8768 2 года назад +305

    You will never be good enough for the wrong person!
    So when people do not see your value it's not about 'I'm not good enough, I'm not this or that'.
    NO!
    They're NOT for you! And we've got to learn to accept that and not internalize rejection. Not to internalize the fact that this person could not step up to the plate and give us what we need. That's not their role in our life.

    • @Tactical50
      @Tactical50 2 года назад +3

      I love this!

    • @brianteeter8796
      @brianteeter8796 2 года назад +5

      Such a simple statement, but yet so spot on.
      We tend to accept what our role is or isn’t in relationship, but when we got caught up in the fantasy of what we want, it seems to blur what we should see as a sign that someone may not be right for us.

    • @toenytv7946
      @toenytv7946 2 года назад +5

      Rejections make me try harder. That’s sad. Pulling away is a childhood trauma maybe. Sad. Trusting the person your with should not be that way.

    • @toenytv7946
      @toenytv7946 2 года назад +1

      Mutually assured destruction.

    • @TheHermitTeller
      @TheHermitTeller 2 года назад +1

      Well said

  • @ansoogund
    @ansoogund 2 года назад +101

    My ex was like that. She was kind and brave and allowed me to express my own excitement, passion, fear, and insecurities. She told me what she liked and never played games. Well, she is an ex, but we spent 5 years together with what was my happiest moment in life but it wasn't for her. Anyway, the point is that games are painful. playfulness is nice, but playing weird games really increases anxieties and insecurities I think.

    • @AlexBobalexRavenclaw
      @AlexBobalexRavenclaw 2 года назад +3

      More details please.

    • @1Life2Live007
      @1Life2Live007 2 года назад +3

      Sounds like a dream that will never come true. My ex did nothing but play games. It was exhausting.

    • @ansoogund
      @ansoogund 2 года назад +4

      @@1Life2Live007 So sorry to hear you had to go through this. I hope you managed to work through it after and are in a better place.

    • @1Life2Live007
      @1Life2Live007 Год назад +5

      @@ansoogund thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it. My motto nowadays is I’d rather be single than in a marriage and feeling single. Life’s to short! God bless you!

  • @thejackbutler
    @thejackbutler 2 года назад +124

    I think you can avoid a game of waiting to text but just having an authentically full life. If you’re authentically responsive and she loses interest, she likely wasn’t really interested

    • @rayssapop
      @rayssapop 2 года назад +20

      100%! Because if I'm interested, his responsiveness tells me he also is so we can keep getting to know each other and not lose momentum. It's even more attractive and exciting. At least for me. If I have to chase too much, I lose interest.

    • @thejackbutler
      @thejackbutler 2 года назад +3

      @@rayssapop Totally get it on the losing interest

    • @AngelaPortugal26
      @AngelaPortugal26 2 года назад +6

      @@rayssapop same here. I appreciate the fact that I'm being prioritized so I actually I don't fall into those games.

    • @dr.sammypryor
      @dr.sammypryor Год назад +1

      good insight! I think this is true.

  • @totalmcr4eva
    @totalmcr4eva 2 года назад +141

    For me, the difference between positive and negative insecurity is how they portray it. If someone is open about their anxiety but are still trying, it's endearing. If they expect you to somehow fix their insecurity, or are constantly seeking reassurance, it's a turn off.

    • @EvanCops
      @EvanCops 2 года назад +3

      Yeah my ex bf was constantly seeking reassurance, he expected to fix him and I said no. I've got my own insecurities that I'm working on.

    • @Kupperdurden
      @Kupperdurden 2 года назад +3

      @@EvanCops But that's actually the point of a relashionship, to fix the other one. That's what means to complete eachother. You're not looking for a partner if not. By definition, if you want to be with someone, it's because you feel incomplete, that there is something missing.
      If you're definition of a relationship is that both should deel with their own problems, then you don't understand what a relationship really is.

    • @irisledezma6674
      @irisledezma6674 2 года назад +1

      For me I feel like if you're looking for reassurance in the other person it's not a turn off. It's a signal telling you that they were hurt that bad by the previous people that couldn't love them the way they needed to be loved. Or simply understand the reason why the person is feeling so hurt by what it is that's bothering them that they feel they need that reassurance in the first place. I am speaking from experience but I also feel that if you do what you can to comfort the other person or help them through their insecurities or negative thoughts then in time it'll gradually be less and less.

    • @dominika1348
      @dominika1348 Год назад +1

      People need a reassurance if they've been hurt to feel confident again later on it's hard to be patient but if you see other amazing qualities then wait and look for a progress it was worth it in my example but it took some time

    • @loinfinito3311
      @loinfinito3311 Год назад +1

      Wow totally another mindset…I feel that if you want someone to fix you, it will fail. Only you can fix you, should never depend on someone else.
      I want to be with someone because I feel whole and I want to multiply that joy with someone else.

  • @ToraTheGoldenRetriever
    @ToraTheGoldenRetriever Год назад +10

    I reward kindness, consistency and courage. My date at the time played no games I sensed that he was sincere and that he truly liked me, even my coworker confirmed what she sensed from him. She literally said I see that he’s very into you because of the way he looks at you. Again that man is now my husband for 13 yrs.

  • @eliseturner4815
    @eliseturner4815 2 года назад +75

    I think an insecurity is only a turnoff when the other person cant handle it. I am a woman and to me, manliness isnt about not being insecure or not having fears but knowing and doing what it takes regardless. No one is free of insecurities, yet some of us can take risks still because we know what are the really important things. You can be the most insecure man in the world, thats fine. But dont let it cast a shadow on our everyday life and ruin precious moments. Thats all, thats the secret to making an insecurity not just okay but maybe even attractive.

    • @EsiriE
      @EsiriE 2 года назад +3

      Yesss 🔥

    • @sharbeddow9836
      @sharbeddow9836 10 месяцев назад +1

      I think I saw a saying once "courage is being afraid of doing something, but still doing it anyway". The more courageous I am in approaching people, the easier it gets. I know many of us are scared of getting hurt, rejected, mocked, ignored, dismissed, etc. I admire someone who knows their insecurities and can talk about them, but they don't use them as an excuse or crutch.

  • @jackieb4608
    @jackieb4608 2 года назад +67

    More men need to talk about their experiences/insecurities in general. A lot of men are taught that they can't be vulnerable, sensitive, insecure, caring, unsure, etc. Thank you for opening up this type of discussion, Matthew

    • @scottadler
      @scottadler 2 года назад

      Bullshit. If a girl detects a flaw, an insecurity, she bites his face off. Been there many times.

    • @jackieb4608
      @jackieb4608 2 года назад +1

      @@scottadler Maybe that's the women that you've been drawn to, been attracted to, or dated. Most women do not "bite his face off" if they see a flaw or insecurity. If you think that, I would say you should date more "nice" women. That's not all of us in general.

    • @scottadler
      @scottadler 2 года назад

      @@jackieb4608
      Nonsense. There is no such thing as a "nice" girl. ("Women," meaning adult females able to face the consequences of their own behavior, simply don't exist.)
      My ex-girlfriends were all "nice" -- until they weren't. The nicest and sweetest of them was secretly dating someone else and when he proposed, she let me know where I stood -- I was a nice, safe, stepping stop to money. By the way, she told me at the worst possible moment. I should have thrown her clothes out the window.
      The overwhelming majority of girls believe that men are a dime a dozen and it doesn't matter how badly they behave. Most of us realize that fact and just take what we can get. Then they through us out of our homes, reduce us to sleeping in our cars, and sneer when we commit suicide. (Feminists riot wherever appalling male suicide rates or what they call "man filz" are discussed.)
      These days, men are simply dropping out of the dating market by the millions. It's just too mean, too cruel, and too expensive. The competition is just too great. There's just no point.
      Okay, I'll grant that you might be a real, honest, nice girl who would never two-time or monkey-branch anyone. Perhaps there's another one living in Rwanda. Perhaps you can meet someday. Have an international Conference of Nice Girls -- in a closet.
      Cheers.

    • @pewterschmidt23lord99
      @pewterschmidt23lord99 2 года назад +2

      No, just no

    • @scottadler
      @scottadler 2 года назад

      @@jackieb4608 Let me add that the girlfriend whose betrayal nearly killed me was also the nicest, sweetest girl I ever met. She loved kittens and puppies, she felt guilty about stepping on dry leaves and breaking them. And she actually felt guilty about using me as a placeholder while she looked for a rich husband. She finally told me that we couldn't see each other anymore -- at the worst possible moment -- because her real boyfriend just proposed and gave her a ring.
      She later tried to use break-up sex to salve her conscience. Two years later, another nice girl did precisely the same thing.
      There truly is no such thing as a "nice girl" -- if any exist, every man wants her. By the way, the two creeps who monkey-branched me were NOT beautiful, just nice. Nice men -- I prefer the term "safe men" -- have nothing to offer. They die by the millions, of suicide, loneliness, and depression.
      But what do you care? They're just losers, to be tossed away whenever convenient.
      American men should stop dating. They should go to Asia, Africa, or South America, and find a local woman who will appreciate them. I understand that it's very easy. American men are considered gold in those places.

  • @Mandy.S.
    @Mandy.S. 2 года назад +6

    I seem to forget that men get nervous, too. It makes me less nervous knowing they get nervous, too. 😁

  • @sallyvivian7792
    @sallyvivian7792 2 года назад +11

    Perhaps the problem is trying to strategize dating. Not having a ‘game plan’ so to speak, allows the authentic & genuine side in each of us to emerge. Meet with no expectations, let it flow & if there’s good communication/ listening something nice could unfold. And being friend zoned shouldn’t be a worry. Eventually falling in love with your ( best ) friend, for all the right reasons. That would be the best!

  • @kimberlybe5805
    @kimberlybe5805 2 года назад +128

    Vulnerability about insecurities is so gorgeous. That’s grown thinking I would say…and we all deserve a mature connection 💗 you are perfect for the right person just the way you are! Be authentic 😊

    • @Fdastrup
      @Fdastrup 2 года назад +5

      Thanks for this. It sure feels like there aren’t men who can embrace all those parts of me. Just want to shut me down. Usually.

    • @kimberlybe5805
      @kimberlybe5805 2 года назад +6

      @@Fdastrup and then we learn that only we can embrace all parts of us..to then attract the one that can embrace us the same:) Create the change you wish to see within! You are magnetic to the very energy you carry and sometimes a small shift can make all the difference ❤️‍🔥 I wish you the very best finding the love you deserve 😊

    • @jackfavvv0280
      @jackfavvv0280 2 года назад

      I strongly disagree with your first sentence.

    • @kimberlybe5805
      @kimberlybe5805 2 года назад +3

      @@jackfavvv0280 it’s just my opinion:) some will agree strongly others won’t. But I will say that if we can’t be vulnerable about our greatest fears and insecurities then how can we ever fully let someone in and have real love? If we have been judged in the past we tend to not be vulnerable but at what point do we realize it no longer serves us to stay locked in our own thinking. I’ve been there and it’s self sabotage eventually. I trusted myself to be vulnerable and was shown that is safe now. I wish the same for you!

    • @philu3
      @philu3 2 года назад +2

      @@kimberlybe5805 Your first sentence will never be good enough for Jack; he's just not your person 😉

  • @shannonfitzgerald8909
    @shannonfitzgerald8909 2 года назад +26

    Well said Matthew, I hate games, I just want communication, being vulnerable is inner beauty and maturity. Being brave and kind is what we all need to be. Thank you for this video!

  • @Sara-ck2vn
    @Sara-ck2vn 2 года назад +10

    LOVE THIS! I really needed this advice. Thank you Matthew for the lovely person that you are ❤️

  • @waytruthlife3679
    @waytruthlife3679 2 года назад +11

    Great video! You explain things so well, it’s truly a gift. Thank you👌😇

  • @Astutli
    @Astutli 2 года назад

    I will always remember this "Kindness and Bravery". Thanks Matthew. Stay Blessed. ❤️❤️

  • @DRVIPDIVA
    @DRVIPDIVA 2 года назад +11

    It’s such a great feeling to know that many of us out here have the same concerns, worries and even insecurities about dating, because sometimes it really feels like everyone is wearing a mask and nobody want to be real. Great video and it brings a lot of clarity on that subject.🙏🏻🙏🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  • @toenytv7946
    @toenytv7946 2 года назад +12

    Incredible message to the umpteenth degree. Thank you Matthew to speaking to our insecurities. A topic worthy of a good talk about.

  • @CoffeeOverdosed
    @CoffeeOverdosed 2 года назад +34

    To be honest, I found this advice to not only be useful in my dating life, but in my personal relationships as well. Thank you for posting such amazing content Matt! 😃

  • @user-tj6iy3ib1t
    @user-tj6iy3ib1t 2 года назад +10

    I saw that post in Instagram, and I saw all comments, and I thought - it's really useful to making posts like that, for us women, to read men's opinions, and after it to hear Matthew's comments - it's really cool, thank you so much❤️

  • @10kainma
    @10kainma Год назад +5

    This was one of my all time favorite videos. Would love to highlight vulnerability, kindness, bravery more. We're often told how we should show up in interactions, but it's scary, and being brave is hard. Thank you!

  • @lucyherrera1313
    @lucyherrera1313 2 года назад +2

    I truly appreciated this video, Matthew! I’m in a happy relationship, but remembering to compliment & voice the little things is something I’m going to implement 💓

  • @bymariagil
    @bymariagil 10 месяцев назад +1

    I love the way that guys showed up and freed their most vulnerable thoughts. Thank you for every single one of them .❤❤❤

  • @adriankmita
    @adriankmita 2 года назад +4

    Really love this video. Thanks!
    No one likes being overlooked for genuinely being a kind and brave person - especially when that is who they really are. Being rewarded with attention for bad behaviour and observing people being rewarded for bad behaviour doesn’t help that perception either - Directing our limited and precious energy toward people that return the energy and qualities of kindness and bravery is great advice.

  • @nora1172
    @nora1172 2 года назад +3

    Beautiful Video, love it❤️Kindness and Bravery 🏋️‍♀️Training and getting more consciousness in doing so. You inspired me to try more of it, 🙏thank you.

  • @marielocascio2099
    @marielocascio2099 2 года назад +16

    Love how this message helps bridge the divide between men and woman by showing we all have vulnerabilities. Communicating more compassionately with one another helps create more loving and fullfilling relationships and that"s a pretty cool outcome for everyone. Much respect xo

  • @violett8042
    @violett8042 2 года назад

    I watch Mathew for years and it’s been such a long journey of growth, these new videos are so dip, so kind. I’d say this one is the best, straight to the heart❤️

  • @jenniferlee7167
    @jenniferlee7167 2 года назад +52

    Well said Matthew and this is coming from a mature woman who wants to seek kindness and who hopes to receive it in kind. God Bless.

    • @scottadler
      @scottadler 2 года назад +1

      Right. You and another one. That makes two of you.

  • @redpurple_ua
    @redpurple_ua 2 года назад +2

    Matthew, your videos always appear in my life when I most need them. Thank you ❤

  • @misslanapaulford
    @misslanapaulford 2 года назад +21

    Matthew can we have more videos like this. It was lovely 😍

  • @Jenn-mx4ym
    @Jenn-mx4ym 2 года назад +3

    Reward with kindness and Bravery!
    Even when your overcoming your own fears/anxiety’s/insecurities, is beautiful, showing understanding & because we all have them.
    It’s like you have been Present in my week, this week! Very close to home!…..🙏💙✨

  • @DearSybersue
    @DearSybersue 2 года назад +6

    This is such a great topic Matthew!! Everyone should watch this. ❤️

  • @tomaohanjanyan7472
    @tomaohanjanyan7472 Год назад +2

    This game thing is so real. After 6 months of "not talking" to each other, we started talking about football (:D) and in a day or 2 showed how we missed each other. But as he did it first, he kind of showed cold responses after that, which starts a new game I don't want to play or even can't.

  • @ramparkash2318
    @ramparkash2318 2 года назад +1

    Matthew. Your video's are always awesome. Really nice content. Nice sharing. Keep it up.

  • @jackietaylor3188
    @jackietaylor3188 2 года назад +7

    I think I speak for a lot of people when I say your posts and videos are a great humanitarian service I think you really mean what you say and embody it and dig deeper and on a more emotional level than most people who have a similar platform. I don’t know if you’ll read this message I hope you do and understand that it’s very very helpful.

  • @tiffleigh7946
    @tiffleigh7946 2 года назад +5

    Great video, very helpful! It is refreshing to hear from the guys point of view on this crazy dating game. 🧡

  • @c.b.2321
    @c.b.2321 2 года назад +3

    It's so important to feel what we feel, and to tell it to somebody. It's all old story from the childhood. We need to share our feelings. Nothing else works.

  • @jasonsantos4105
    @jasonsantos4105 2 года назад +2

    I honestly thank you for your video really opened my eyes, that is giving me a different outlook towards people who I care about Thank You

  • @edytama4938
    @edytama4938 2 года назад

    You are attentive, sensitive, knowledgeable.Thank you for your work and the work of colleagues 💞

  • @emmaloves23
    @emmaloves23 2 года назад +1

    Love this video very much! Thank you for these beautiful thoughts! ❤️

  • @allmarknobite8726
    @allmarknobite8726 Год назад

    Matthew, subbed to your channel recently and very much appreciate your work. So many opportunities to learn! Today's lesson; redirecting effort and energy to "potentials" that demonstrate warmth, interest and curiosity and letting go of the "fantasy" that I can turn indifference into something. Thanks again!

  • @kitkatkatie5174
    @kitkatkatie5174 2 года назад +16

    Awww this is a video I needed!! Have 5th date with a guy on Saturday and we communicate every day. Still in the early dating phase and the mind games I go through and the waiting for the text back anxiety is all to real and as women we overthink everything!! Watching this is helping me remember that guys are human and have the same insecuritys around dating!! It is helping me feel confident in myself and remember that the guy I'm seeing is probably going through simular thaught and feeling simular way!!

    • @robynackroyd3217
      @robynackroyd3217 2 года назад

      Yes! I feel the same and am going through a similar situation 💜

  • @SEAN31680
    @SEAN31680 2 года назад +4

    Although I'm in a relationship, this video still contains important information. After some months you just take a lot of things your partner does for you for granted. I'm gonna tell him more often how happy he makes me and that I've become a better person in some areas. ✌🏽

  • @jameslima7811
    @jameslima7811 2 года назад +1

    Wow. So many of the same I had. Very relatable. I miss her. I hope she's not suffering and is healing like I am as well.🙏🏼💜

  • @soul-etude
    @soul-etude Год назад +3

    Thank you so much Matthew for this brilliant video that made my heart melt. I am the kind of person that does not play any games, the one who listens carefully to others and lets them be vulnerable, and who appreciates kindness and affection. Your post really makes me believe that there are brave men out there who are not afraid to show their soft side, their vulnerability, because being authentic is not easy, it's a strength. And yes, I choose to stay on the side of kindness, loyalty, support and encouragement and respond positively only to people with the same values. And i still find it strange that people judge my attitude as "the end of the game", instead of committing. But, I guess, these are their rules and one day I'll find the one who does not see kindness and responsiveness as something one should take advantage of. Thank you again.

  • @violetmartha916
    @violetmartha916 2 года назад +3

    My favourite video so far. Thank you Matthew. 🎉

  • @baltasartieskens1032
    @baltasartieskens1032 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for this video. As a man i recognize in all of the things you are addressing. Good to know that there is a way my vulnerablity can be channeled without the risk of being hurt so much al the time. Kindness and bravery it is! ;) Your content is inspiring. Thanks mate.

  • @pamelacotte
    @pamelacotte Год назад

    Thank you Matthew for bringing men and women together to see that we all have vulnerabilities.
    The kindness and bravery idea is powerful for dating and all human relationships.

  • @sparkleandshinewithsarah6032
    @sparkleandshinewithsarah6032 2 года назад +1

    Thank you so much Matthew I absolutely love your videos they've helped me so much not just with dating/relationships but with understanding myself and healing the parts of me that have been broken over the years. I'm now in such a good place and have met a wonderful man that makes me very happy he is genuinely the love of my life and watching your videos helped me get there long may that continue and thank you so much again for your honest, kind, funny and genuine take on the world and the connection that has to our lives and for helping women like me all over the world.
    Much love and gratitude
    Sarah ☺️

  • @jensweeney4128
    @jensweeney4128 2 года назад

    Matt. I’ve been listening and experiencing the wild and wonderful world of advise from men like you. Thank you. So far it’s been an amazing eye, heart and mind opener. My heart is still questing. Yer good. Again thanks.

  • @KG-bliss
    @KG-bliss 2 года назад

    This was just beautiful...even the way you addressed it Matthew...to follow kindness etc... too beautiful 🥰

  • @diannaantes5262
    @diannaantes5262 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing this 💌

  • @Regiigii
    @Regiigii 3 месяца назад

    This video is so needed. Dating at any age is difficult. Hearing this brought so much light to this topic. Thank you for this video. 🙏🏽✌🏽

  • @LilyDiorMusic
    @LilyDiorMusic 2 года назад +1

    Lovely post Matthew, real the soulful, thank you 🙏🏼🥰

  • @Janettyboo
    @Janettyboo 2 года назад +1

    I have saved this video so I can rewatch it over and over. Please do more like this, to get more insight into the male perspective

  • @hermitcat2022
    @hermitcat2022 9 месяцев назад

    Wonderful video. Very comforting .Thank you.❤

  • @SolarShadows88
    @SolarShadows88 2 года назад +5

    This was great insight! I just started dating someone and we have been on a total of 3 dates. But I definitely want to start trying the rewarding for kindness and risk. Hopefully it will go well 🙏

  • @twilighttime
    @twilighttime Год назад

    Thank-you!!!!!! ♥️ This gentleman is truly beautiful inside and out, & always willing to kindly share his knowledge and wisdom.

  • @HealthyByKiona
    @HealthyByKiona 2 года назад

    what a beautiful post!!! thank you Matthew for sharing that vulnerability so many of us feel no matter what gender!

  • @Keepersoftheflame
    @Keepersoftheflame Год назад +6

    3rd Date ideas:
    Walk in the park or perhaps picnic
    Art Museum (you get to see the world throught thier eyes)
    Green house / nursery (you can tell a lot about a person based off what flowers they like)
    Pick a food neither of you have tried, go to that foodie place or truck (trying new things together is good way to create good memories)
    Short road trip like 1 hour or so to live music.... see how they travel... and live music is good for the soul
    Look up what activities are avaiable in current place. You may be surprised and there for can surprise date!! Or travel to local tourist attraction.
    Learn how to hold space for self... it makes holding space for other easier.

  • @irisledezma6674
    @irisledezma6674 2 года назад +1

    Seeing this post today, couldn't of come at a better time for me. This guy that I'm seeing is a little bit of a puzzle and I'm trying to figure him out, his behaviors, thoughts, & feelings & sometimes those internal insecurities get the better of me. But the more we talk, I'm starting to gradually understand him a little bit better & I want to believe he's slowly letting down his walls, at least I hope so anyway.
    But thank you Matthew for always being a blessing, I always watch your videos and always take in the advice you give and try to implement it into my daily life & relationship habits, not only hoping it'll lead me to Mr. Right, but leading me to the version of myself I was always meant to be. Thank you. I adore you, you're such a very beautiful and genuine person.

  • @DrPatrickKingsep
    @DrPatrickKingsep 2 года назад +1

    Hi Matthew and others on this page...a real and honest account of male insecurities in relationships and dating - thanks for putting this information together Matthew and getting it out there for people to learn from!! Great YT channel on relationships Matthew

  • @SanctuaryVibe
    @SanctuaryVibe 2 года назад

    Wow!!! What a FABULOUS video.
    One of my favourites EVER. 💞

  • @thelidiaedit
    @thelidiaedit 2 года назад +26

    Hi Matt, cool video. Just two days ago, I was talking to my boyfriend about women & girls who always "chase" popular guys and completely ignore other guys. He said something interesting and valid, while I explained him how I witnessed a lot of this from friends or female acquaintances and what I made of it.
    This video reminded me of this conversation, when you touched on the subject of triggering insecurities and showing vulnerable parts of ourselves that we don't want. So I could see that my thoughts are somewhat confirmed.
    I will share this video with him :) And I really hope all this gaming, and need for being the alpha-person stops. Instead of making us stronger, it's just making us covertly ultra-vulnerable. Have a nice sunday!

    • @lad7534
      @lad7534 2 года назад +2

      what was the valid point that he made?

  • @myrtofeli7340
    @myrtofeli7340 Год назад

    One of the most beautiful videos. It moved me. Playing games like that does not come from loving intentions and definitely has nothing to do with any kind of emotional investment or progress in a relationship. It only hurts the other and breaks their trust. Even if it comes from a place of insecurities, it still comes from selfishness of not wanting to exert honesty and vulnerability and risking to loose that person. Either way you will loose them if you play games , stressing and hurting each other. So you have the best opportunity to see if they are compatible with you when YOU are vulnerable and honest. When you take the risk to loose them.

  • @Wendywolf8
    @Wendywolf8 2 года назад

    The reason it brought people together is because you do Matthew, there's such a warm and loving rnergy coming off of you, proud to be in the live life club

  • @asinsodojrn
    @asinsodojrn Год назад

    Awesome video! I think this might be my favorite video of yours!

  • @BeckyJB
    @BeckyJB 2 года назад +3

    I am happy to see that there are still genuine men in the world.

  • @rartinderkaur3499
    @rartinderkaur3499 2 года назад +3

    Hi Sir ... Thanks for this big one that highlights that man's side in relationship needs to be understood and that their opening up (on any side) or being vulnerable shud not be called as insecurity, instead making them come out with their emotions and treating with acceptance will turn "if she is into me "into a strength of surety that is Valuable and worthy . Thanks and Regards 💝

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 года назад

      Rartinder Kaur. Ur saying absolutely right.

  • @madden5455
    @madden5455 Год назад

    I really appreciate your vulnerability and the sincere content you post. Thanks for this video

  • @humming_wolf4635
    @humming_wolf4635 2 года назад +6

    I needed this video for my current relationship..

  • @cayad2591
    @cayad2591 2 года назад +4

    thank you Matthew! for bringing that around the way in which you did. all those responses you got from men could have been from women as well. I'll leave it there. ❤️

  • @tess7798
    @tess7798 2 года назад +1

    Beautiful message, Matthew.

  • @irmalair1
    @irmalair1 2 года назад +12

    As a woman I'm insecure about the fact that I'm a 28 yo virgin with no previous relationships at all.
    I just never was in a relationship "place" before, and now it feels impossible to be out there with no previous relationship AND wanting to stay virgin until marriage (... at least for as long as possible 😅😅) , knowing I'm not into the "super religious" lifestyle, which unfortunately seems the only one where virginity is accepted.
    Ugh... I might as well just die alone it seems 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @Lifes_Frosting
    @Lifes_Frosting Год назад +3

    We are all the same. Treat others the way you would like to be treated and watch the world change for the better. Stop with the games, the ghosting, and toxic influencer dating advice. Just play well together. It's simple. 💚

  • @karlinda84
    @karlinda84 Год назад

    Vulnerability teaches us so much. If someone takes vulnerability as weakness then that shows you the person needs to grow and might not be the right time to get involved with them.

  • @Lev1232
    @Lev1232 2 года назад +3

    My God, this video is spot on! Thank you!

  • @jadeblair6865
    @jadeblair6865 2 года назад

    Thank you for your videos!! Made me think about some questions I need to ask myself. :)

  • @yvonneschermerhorn866
    @yvonneschermerhorn866 2 года назад

    Helpful, meaningful video for all of us! Thx.

  • @user-fv6eu7zc2d
    @user-fv6eu7zc2d 2 года назад

    Thank you all guys to share what they really feel a little vulnerable to sustain texting, I feel it true too and also sharing my true feelings with the guy I really like. We send songs for each others each day. But I really don't know it will be work or not in such a little chatroom to build up something further...

  • @stacymitchell8262
    @stacymitchell8262 2 года назад

    Thank you! That's so good to hear!

  • @janetrobinson6001
    @janetrobinson6001 2 года назад

    This was great advice. Follow kindness and bravery.

  • @alexxxxxxxaaaaaa
    @alexxxxxxxaaaaaa Год назад

    Amazing perspective, Matthew, thank you so much, it was heart warming 🤍

  • @irenesubang17
    @irenesubang17 2 года назад +1

    Third date ideas: going to a museum or art gallery? a cooking class? Concert or live music? There are many avenues for many more dates. Thank you for this video! With love from the philippines!

  • @alexandriasmith6494
    @alexandriasmith6494 2 года назад

    This is really reassuring!

  • @DonnaPellegrino
    @DonnaPellegrino 2 года назад +1

    Wow! Matthew...This was one of the best videos ever! You really do understand men and women. You are the most informative relationship coach I’ve heard. Tell me what do you think of twin flames or soulmates?

  • @AngedAmour326
    @AngedAmour326 2 года назад +2

    Great video!!

  • @xoxolycadaniel8574
    @xoxolycadaniel8574 2 года назад +4

    Too smart, good work!

  • @womei159753
    @womei159753 2 года назад

    This video made me so proud of the person I am today, I am friends with this guy (I have a crush on him but don’t want him to know because he would probably get confused, I don’t want to do that to him). Anyway, I believe I’ve created a space where he feels comfortable to talk to me about most things. I think vulnerability is a strength so I don’t shy away from it.

  • @Decor673
    @Decor673 2 года назад

    Thank you so much! It really helped❤but can I ask if you can make a video related with this on how to help those vulnerable guys

  • @MyVlogTherapy
    @MyVlogTherapy 2 года назад +5

    This is very helpful to include more of the male perspective, balance 🙂 please talk about the texting frequency etiquette..

  • @geishagrrrl1
    @geishagrrrl1 Год назад +1

    I love this one especially! Thank you Matthew. Thank everybody for sharing in our Collective exhale in our Real and exciting Connection adventures! "Character AND Chemistry"
    "Make Bold Moves and Great Forces go with You' - S. Gossett. Great Luck, everybody❣❣❣

  • @gisellcorrea5603
    @gisellcorrea5603 2 года назад

    Thank you Mat, you are a blessing to the world. ❤

  • @kevinthemayor
    @kevinthemayor 2 года назад +18

    Very refreshing and hope giving! Being a gentleman by nature makes it very difficult to date in the last 20 years!

    • @jessicaw9011
      @jessicaw9011 2 года назад +3

      Gentlemen are still hot! Don't give up, man!

    • @Erin-uz2gf
      @Erin-uz2gf 2 года назад +2

      The right woman for you will love that about you

  • @Lichfeldian--Suttonian
    @Lichfeldian--Suttonian 2 года назад +17

    Lovely video, Matthew. Men _are_ vulnerable. We aren’t the physical and financial ‘Spartacus’ that we feel that we have to be for the attraction. Instead of having expectations of the other, best to have an honest communication to heartily express how truly human we really are. As on June 2022, I am 56, and first dates and texting _still_ scare me to pieces because of the pressures that I feel as you describe. I think that I speak for many men in that I feel I cannot just ‘be’ and be accepted. I have to be _doing something_ more to prove myself. I just want to walk into the first date and naturally emanate ‘me’. That is where I find my confidence. ladies! 😊

    • @bonjustbon5089
      @bonjustbon5089 2 года назад +7

      From a single/divorced 56 yr old lady my POV: just be real...show some respect/manners...be kind...communicate/be present...the ladies that mind don't matter...the ladies that matter don't mind....we've had our share of jocks & jerks ....superficial is not impressive...just sayin 😉

    • @Lichfeldian--Suttonian
      @Lichfeldian--Suttonian Год назад

      @@bonjustbon5089 That is very good to know. Thanks.

    • @sharbeddow9836
      @sharbeddow9836 10 месяцев назад

      59 years old... I understand

  • @mariadivinity9251
    @mariadivinity9251 2 года назад

    wiiii loved the part about the matrixxx! beautiful videooo

  • @mackenziehaley456
    @mackenziehaley456 2 года назад +1

    Follow kindness and bravery, that really caught my attention. A man recently stood me up one night and then totally ghosted after 5 dates. It really hurt, and I kept asking myself what I did wrong. But listening to this helps me a bit, it helps me see that he wasn’t being kind or brave and I need to redirect my energy like Matthew said, instead of continuing to wonder and stress over it. Thanks Matthew.

    • @MaricaIvica
      @MaricaIvica Год назад

      I so do not understand this.. after 5 dates? Did he later on explain?

    • @mackenziehaley456
      @mackenziehaley456 Год назад

      @@MaricaIvica nope. Haven’t heard from him since.

  • @adrianamanta291
    @adrianamanta291 2 года назад +1

    Is all about working on yourself and just be authentic and who cares if they reciprocate or not because you are ok with yourself

  • @helenzielasek1812
    @helenzielasek1812 2 года назад

    Sooooo beautiful, Mat. Thank you so much🌸💛!!!!!

  • @elisemiddleton2660
    @elisemiddleton2660 2 года назад

    Thank you Matthew. This video is very insightful and men should know women are not indifferent. In fact worn have the same insecurities, thoughts, and struggles.
    There are women that don’t want pay the game, sometimes women just want honest, kind, a sense of humor, and down to earth man.