He Ghosted You And RETURNED You MUST Do This Next Or You Automatically Lose
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2024
- Guides And Coaching: liinks.co/elliotscott
He ghosted you and now he's back? Before you decide your next move, watch this video! As a seasoned dating coach, I'm going to teach you the crucial steps to handle this all-too-common scenario. Let's jump right into it.
👻 If he ghosted and returned, you're probably asking WHY and WHAT to do now. I show you how to:
1️⃣ Understand his actual mindset when he ghosts and comes back.
2️⃣ Assess the lack of respect and the implications for your value.
3️⃣ Call him out - the right way.
4️⃣ Ensure he reflects on his actions and genuinely apologizes.
5️⃣ Negotiate new terms if you're considering giving him another chance.
You will want to watch this video because I don't just spill the truths you need to hear; I provide actionable steps to protect your heart and self-respect. With over 10 years of expertise, I've seen it all, and trust me when I say - you're not the exception.
🚫 What NOT to do when he resurfaces.
✅ How to respond if you choose to give him a chance.
🛑 Why repeating old patterns only leads to more ghosting.
The link to my comprehensive guide on handling ghosting is down below, so make sure to get it at the end of this video. If you're serious about changing your dating life, sign up for one-on-one coaching for tailored advice that has helped countless clients before.
Remember, I'm not just a dating coach; I'm someone who's been on both sides of the ghosting situation. This isn't just what you want to hear; it's what you need to know.
Ladies, it's time to take control. Watch now and let's navigate this together. Peace out!
CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Ghosting Response Tips
0:16 - Ghosting Red Flags
4:09 - Handling Ghosting Comebacks
14:16 - Interim Strategies Post-Ghosting
14:29 - No Contact Rule Guide
14:46 - Ghosting Situation Wrap-Up
I believe it was Elliot himself that said “ a man that values and loves you would NEVER put himself in a position to lose you” so I would NEVER take him back
Correct. Just broke up after 5Y. He was cheating on me since beginning but I was so blind and afraid to lose him. Feel like I am a rubbish. So I am on stage that I have to find my own happiness.. ❤
You MUST do this: Block him.
@BeautyQueen2023X Exactly
Ignoring is not enough, he should be blocked. Plain and simple.
@BeautyQueen2023X I know the effects that ignoring have on people. I have ignored people in different contexts, relatives, fake friends, co-workers, I could write a book about the topic. It is not hard for me AT ALL. In the case of a guy who did not consider me a human worthy the trust of telling me he does not want to pursue the interaction with me, but he rather ghosted me (meaning he is emotionally blocking ME without me having done anything wrong right?) why the hell shall he only get ignored? Hell no, he will be RESTRICTED. That kind of people do not deserve any open channel to slither back in. You really think if you only ignore is sufficient? give me a break🙄. Only ignoring leaves the door open for the guy to come back and treat you like crap. You think it is right? Suit yourself. To each with its own.
😂😂😂😂
Agreed, if he ghosted he’s not worth your time coming back. Block his ass
When the ghost comes back now they're known as "zombies". 😂
*DO* *NOT* *TAKE* *HIM* *BACK*
If he comes back then ignore him. Block him. Don't even "negotiate" or "talk it out". It's likely he's a narcissist. He doesn’t care.
It's exactly 💯 narcissist personality disorder you all can study it on Google and RUclips tons of Information and therapy for free the more you study and learn about it the better off you'll be I studied for like 7 months every day best thing I did
A guy ghosted me and he returned 14 years later with tears in his eyes..now he respects me so much..he never lied to me again..but I broke up with him
I can tell you right now….he is 100% right! PLEASE do yourself a favor and LEAVE him alone! This has happened to me. He got close, then ghosted then he would later come back and the cycle repeated multiple times. I finally got tired. I realized this on my own. That guy will NEVER change! It took awhile to heal. Now I’m happy. I have someone else.
was he your boyfriend? or just someone whom you casually dated?
@@pappico Yes he was my boyfriend.
I'm sorry you went through that. Men suck sometimes
It's narcissist personality disorder and reasons for the ghosting cycle that will never stop is because he's seeing other people simultaneously and when things go wrong with them he does it to them goes back to you , best thing to do is called grey rocking have absolutely no contact block everything, make it so can't contact you don't respond to anything it's a sickness that there is no cure or treatment for study everything you possibly can like crazy for months on Google and RUclips about narcissist personality disorder and this is abuse this guy is telling you right I've. Been through it I now know every trick in the book
If he really did love you then he would have never ghosted you in the first place.
I took back a ghosted twice, third time I laid it out, that I felt disrespected, taken for granted etc. I told him don't come back unless u are serious and what I wanted. A month later he came back, persisted, I finally said yes and we are now engaged 6 mnths later so it's not that blk and white
Yes, then you must be the 1% Elliot mentioned and called him out and got him to persist.. pretty much what Elliot just said but congrats for you!
@BeautyQueen2023X we live together and his attitudes changed, it was never playing or cheating, it's been over a year so it's safe to say there's been a change, u sound like a woman scorned. Basically all situations are different. Even if someone was roses from day one and married for 10 years can leave or cheat etc. So let's just never date ever- just in case😉
@kahleesi-queenfire179 every situation is different, it may not work for others that lay it out either. My point is to take advice w a grain of salt because it depends on person, yourself, your situation, how long you've been together, why they ghosted etc
@@LindaC444 He ghosted you TWICE and you took him back and agreed to marry him? You are a placeholder.
@BeautyQueen2023X sweet heart don't be so bitter- u are literally getting so angry and blasting back to back comments- I am happy!! And guess what I'm strong enough on my own to walk away if I need too, and stand up to him like I did that last time.. except he kept chasing and proving himself for about 4 mnths before I took him back, 6 mnths later engaged, and we had been together over 2 years total. Do again, all I am saying is every situation is different so use your judgment when making decisions. It is not a one size fits all cookie cutter cut throat decision to block and never take someone back. Elliot mentioned it the video too...make them work for it to prove themselves, don't take them right away. Then u have a better chance in them returning fir the right reasons and for good
A man that truly loves you can't ignore you for days, while going out with other women and then come back begging the following week! After the first 3 months of love bombing, I endured 2 years of this cycle with my narcissist ex and each time I believed he would change but a week later I would catch him messaging random girls on social media, pretending to be single and he eventually slept with one of them, then he blamed me for his cheating, because he said he wanted me to stop my modelling at events as he didn't like men looking at me. There were so many red flags but I ignored them! These people are insecure and get off on making you suffer! I'm now happily single and will never tolerate such disrespectful behaviour again!
This is why I'm single. Best way to be
Yeah, really, it's not worth the aggro
After a year... he found me somewhere and messaged me "Hi..."...
Like wtf,,, how did you get here again, BLOCK.
I was ghosted, he came back twice.,each time I asked “what has changed?” and he vanished again 😂
Perfect response
great question!!!!
Ghosting is so hurtful and disrespectful. I want him back just so I can slap him literally and get my revenge.!!
Don't waste your time he's got narcissist personality disorder and numerous other women juggling simultaneously, nothing affects them, they secretly enjoy hurting you, and playing games the best revenge is to go grey rocking and get on with your life Google and study the crap out of narcissist personality disorder do this as much as possible every day for months it will help you I promise
You are amazing. I got ghosted. I ignored. He stayed 8 years apologizing. I forgave him . He proposed to marry me. I did not accept
Niiiice
He only came back because his 1st option didn't work out and now you're the "backup".
Absolutely
Did everything you said to do in this video. He said & did all the right things. Promised he wouldn't ghost me again. Guess what...he ghosted me again! Just forget guys like this! They don't have good intentions & are not worth your time & energy!
I was in this vicious cycle with my ex for 7 YEARS!!! he would get mad, vanish, then come back after 1, 2, 3 months. Would always apologize then eventually do it again. I finally put my foot down in August. He has attempted several times to come back via phone calls, brings up sex, and then i tell him that's not happening, he rages, and then hangs up. I'm not sure how to end this cycle other than walking away for good. Ladies don't waste your time like me no matter how much he begs or pleads, THEY NEVER CHANGE!!!!!! Thank you Elliot, God bless 🙏🙏🙏
Block. Change the number. Start dating others.
Guilty - I thought he came back because he missed me and realized what he lost. Thank you for the education.
Never ever give a ghoster the privelage of access to you. Block them on everything and if they try n show up at your house, call the cops. Let the dead rest in peace
I don't even block, I just mute the conversation because I've heard blocking is an emotional reaction 🙃
Lol same
It may or may not be an emotional reaction, but oftentimes, it's a necessary action.
Where it can feel necessary, this allows others to control our emotions. Which gives them power because we have reacted "emotionally" In my opinion, muting conversations, after setting boundaries will suffice for me. You do you..
@@firstbestbabymuting instead of blocking is still giving the other person power because you care about how blocking is perceived from their POV. If one really doesn’t care, they would do what makes them feel better / safe whether it is muting or blocking. The initial comment made it seem like they don’t wanna block because of how it would look to the person, which shows you still care.
@@jessicat2304 I understand what you are saying. I respectfully disagree and here is why, muting is not emotionally reacting or giving your power away because you are "taking a break" WITHOUT them knowing about it because it is private.
Also, trained professionals advise not to block it is emotionally reacting because they know about it and you can still just as easily block/unblock and this way they DO know about it!
If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't need to block at all, they wouldn't even get a thought from you!
When a guy ghosted you or has not put in the effort to create security, he will never improve. In fact, he’ll give up because he doesn’t want to feel judged and like you’re waiting for him to mess up again.
He doesn’t miss you. He’s only back because he thinks you’re easy and he’s bored.
Also because his new gf didn’t work out.
@@jskyler7 💯
ghost him too
I got so much clarity from this video and comments below. No more MERRY GO ROUND.
100% Blocked him.
Ghosters always think they can do better in relationship . and you are good but they think they can do better then you ,may be best .i took him 4 times ,thinking this will be the first and last chance . they only keep you as an last option .they don't love you at all ,they see us as a fan of them . they keep coming back and wanting us to thank them for coming back .
The guy still can fool you, and say "yeah i want a relationship with you" then he f¨¨cks with you and will ghost you again, so no guarantee what he says
He will absolutely regret losing me because I am absolutely not coming back. He didn’t want me to leave but he thinks I’m coming back. In fact, I know when precisely he thinks I’m coming back. I wonder if he’ll actually reach out once that time comes and passes. Chances are I wont care by then but right now I’m still healing so there’s a part of me that hopes he does so I can turn him away. I already know what I’ll say. It’s just one sentence and that’s all I need.
So true! But by experience it will never work out. Cut it if and forget him. Know your worth
I just think to myself: THE AUDACITY
Then just say something aloof and dignified that very much says "uhh nah buddy, you f'd up n lost this..im not interested but hope you find something"
Have a little chuckle to myself then carry on along my merry way.
I could never ever get with anybody like that... somebody who couldn't give me decency n basic consideration to my feelings.
Imagine being stuck in a whole relationship with somebody like that, NIGHTMARE! 😬
Ladies, any conclusions you're looking for from him were spelled out loud n clear to you the second he disrespected you by ghosting.
ONWARDS N UPWARDS 😌✌️
Listen to Elliot! He’s right. Dont give him any chances.
He’s just coming back for the 🐱
You're a better friend to women than most women are to other women. I'm 34 years-old and I've only been ghosted once after I broke up with a man who refused to accept the break up. This was almost a year ago. He tried to meet me outside my place to drop my things off and "talk things out". When I told him to stay the hell away from me and to mail my stuff out instead because I didn't want him anywhere near me he ghosted me and kept my belongings. I see that more of a control move but nonetheless that was the first time I was ghosted.
With that being said I've seen women give women sh*t advice to other women when it comes to dating and ghosting. And I end up looking like the bad guy when I tell these women the man has absolutely no respect for them and that he doesn't even like them. I see women telling other women to message the ghoster only to be ignored by him. I see the same women get so excited when these guys reappear and then use them for sex then ghost them again. And these women think they have bragging rights when that happens. It's nauseating. All I know is that if I ever heard back from my ex the only response he's getting is an invoice with all my belongings listed on it and an added on time wasting fee.
Well said. And unfortunately, most women don't always go the most practical route, their broken hearts lead them astray.
Yea he is genuine very few men or so called dating coaches are on RUclips. I call them grifters.
No self respect and can't rein n their emotions.
I had a guy ghost me for 2/3 weeks, he was hella active on various social media platforms and yet couldn’t take 5 seconds of his time to see that I was reaching out. All for him to just come back to use his deployment as some form of excuse and said how he didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words. The audacity of him to pull the “but I still do care for you and like you” card. How much of a difference would it have made if he had approached me with this instead of leaving me in the dark lmao
Sounds like a manipulator men know how to do that well
Yeah… he know the game. He think that “oh… he came back… he loves me” lol 😂 that’s what he’s thinking 😂
It is funny to see a guy 45 years who should have some maturity doing ghosting like a teenager 🤣he can kiss my a**ss, and then he doesnt even apologize, he only started to apologize when i called the dude out, another redflag!!
I'm not giving that bastard a chance he don't deserve it
😂😂😂 🖕🏻👏🏻
whenever men get in their feelings after being intimate he’s ghosting out of guilt. we give them chance after chance because they’re all guilty 😊
He came back 2 months later after dating for 4 1/2 mo. He was going through a divorce.
One guy texted me after 3 years! Unbelievable. We only went on one date. 😅 then he got butthurt when I put him on the spot.
Ugg . Called him a mf . He kept video calling and was obsessed. He was turned off when I said that.. but showed me he had other motives.. I liked him so much. But it was 6 months since. Things moved fast initially....I worked with him from a diff market. Ladies don't move so fast!! You'll live and it will be better
Thank you so much for this❤
Thank you for giving it to me straight Elliot!
I needed to hear this… I’m getting better at it, but need to stop excusing their bad behaviour
I love this thumbnail. 😂
I absolutely love listening to you!! Thank you, you are GREAT!!!!!!
Blocked him...again! Living my best life! 🌴💎🧬❤️😊
100 % correct ladies - it happened to me exactly like this video. Great video Elliot!
He will apologize and still do again😢
If only I’d known this years ago . Very valuable advice. Thank you
This guy that I met is doing that and I have another guy that wants to take me out. I have a lot of guys I want to take me out right now. But I’m after Mr. impossible.
You give sound advice and you’re not just a regular coach, you look out for women. Thanks 🙏 it’s hurtful but if we also feel we’re not done yet we give the guy a chance.
Not the FWB line 😂😂😂😂 classic Elliot
The answer is .....RUN AWAY. 😂
My alone feels so good. I'll have you only if you're sweeter than my solitude ❤
Men these days are very serious or LOYAL TO ONE WOMAN …..WOMEN ARE LOOKING TO A MONOGAMOUS MAN TO THE CORE AND INCLUDES THIS ( no porn at all , no texting , sexting , emailing exes , no emotional affairs , upfront honest all days until forever , great communication skills , no coercive or controlling behaviors , no phone sex ….pretty much a man that is sober and understands what it takes to be a great husband ) ……
I DONT EVEN WANT HIM BACK AFTER GHOSTING ME CUZ WIT IF TIMES GET
HARD
UR GONE AGAIN
True story. He showed u who he was when it gets difficult.
I've been thinking. I wonder if women's higher number of oxytocin receptors are why were loving (seen by men as emotional) and men's almost non-existent oxytocin receptors, Further blocked by higher testosterone levels means that they're not loving ( seen by men as logical). Which would explain why men see dating as a market and women as things to obtain rather than people to love. And other men as people to compete with and dominate rather than people to love....
Most women's problems really would be fixed if our baseline assumption was "he doesn't love you, he doesn't have the capacity to, not untill his testosterone drops and he's been around you for years".
Wow, who are you? This is incredibly introspective. Thank you for writing this out. I'm going to screenshot, so I never forget. God bless 🙏🏽
Tony gaskins said he didn’t feel in love with his wife until 3 years into marriage. Before he was thinking of cheating. They’re married since 2006 I think.
Elliot is right... this happened to me before I found this video
NEVER NEGOCIATE WITH NARCS NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Really nice video! i was wondering if i could help you edit your videos and make them more engaging as well as create short content out of them.😇
It's a shame when it's your own husband of 15yrs.
Get his spot back in line lol😂that’s good
They get worse everytime you let them bsck. His ego gets more exaggerated and boisterous making it more volitile and possibly dangerous for you. Any man coming back in his ego has something to prove to himself and you and it NEVER goes well.
I told him that I don`t love him anymore, because I saw that he don`t value me. Than he left and he never come back. I didn't contact him also. So I guess this is better than if he came back?
Before that his favorite excuse was "I didn't want it to happen like this.".
this is why i don’t date very often😊
i had one of these freaks come back 3 years later. my mouth fell open and the block button was pressed so fast. what are you doing buddy? gross ... wtf
hes never really ghosted me but it usually goes him saying “you’re amazing and everything i want but im not ready for a relationship bc you deserve better” then me going “ok then leave me alone” then he comes back two months later again w the “i miss you and you’re perfect but im not ready” and me again saying “ok then leave me tf alone” i don’t get it
He just wants sex . BUT NOT A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE
@@user-jw1bl4hq9j Yep. It's a booty call only.
Tell him he is now a friend. That is the title he deserves. And that you need to date other guys who wants the boyfriend title + commitment.
His loss
I've been ghosted for 11 wks & counting
What happened?
Yess, walk the other way, spend time on yourself. Also please study limerence, it can make you understand yourself and why you get sucked into dipshit holes.
Did this a lot in my 20s for not knowing any better.
I tried all this stuff near the end and he said I’m too pushy… 🤷🏼♀️ said he wanted to do things in his own time… is that fair? Doesn’t feel fair to me to keep waiting but also doesn’t feel fair to him if I made demands. Does this mean we go separate ways?
I did all that Elliott said. He promised not to do it again and he ghosted me again on the next day & he came back after five days, saying he miss me. I muted him for good.
He ghosted me for three months, came back and I let him right back in. He was gone in 30 days. I took him back because I cared about him and I liked him, and I had a hard hard time accepting the fact that he didn’t care about me. I wonder if he’s gonna be back again. I personally would not have the audacity to even look someone in the eye that I did that too, but clearly some people have it so maybe he’ll come back again and I’m not answering
Yep thanks for the confirmation. Not interested in half foot out the door anyways. Bye boy
I never give them my number anymore. We text on the app or i give my telegram nickname. If he ghosts. I block and change my nickname
1:48 make this crystal clear. I never wanted scott back.. Id rather put needles in my own eyes for the record LOLLLLLLL tell em like it is Elliot. Ladies repeat after me. WE ARE NOT A MATCH. SAY IT LOUD AND SAY IT PROUD
He said he needs some time on his own a lot of stress at work and family…I told him take your time and when you feel better and still want to meet let me know. He was thankful. We know each other for 2 years now, and we have smth like fwb situation. Is this ghosting too?
I’m pretty sure ghosting is leaving with no explanation. I think. Because it’s kind of like they just disappear and they don’t even let you know what happened he let you know what happened I would say for you to emotionally detach yourself and to kind of just live your life, the best that you can. And to realize men and women the way they fall in love is much different the more you pull away and live your life and are happy doing it the better.
He ghosted me for a couple of months after I broke up with him unexpectedly (I was hopped up on new birth control hormones that made me super anxious and neurotic. We'd only been dating 2 months. It was a mess). A few weeks later I started reaching out with texts and phone calls, he responded to the first 2 then stoped responding. I ran into him one day and he agreed to talk in person. I told him I'd had the bc implant removed and asked if he'd be willing to try again. He told me he didn't want to close the door on us but he wanted to focus on his career. After that he responded to 2 texts then ghosted me again. I haven't heard from him since early July.
It's just so confusing to know what to do when he comes back. I felt responsible the first time, but not the second time. I think he will eventually come back because we were friends for 4 years before we dated.
He does not respect you if he does not call the next day!!!!, Even if the excuse is good, he has to apologize if he flaked. And that supperiority complex is often misogynist men, cause they will do it right away, never give a flaker a second chance.
What is considered ghosting? 3 days no texting or more?
3 days is it gosthing ? He cancelled the date because of family reason and I get upset so he gosthed me for 3 days. Then he came back saying "sorry for these days". I know by a friend he had family matters to resolve and he was quiet with almost everyone. Should I take this has a gosthing ?? He gave me zero explanation by then or now. I didnt respond to him but at the same time I feel "hh maybe he was really feeling down and couldnt handle pression". What you think about it ?
This guy can only do better by actually starting with someone new.
Is 3 weeks a long time of ghosting
This is so interesting and so true. We'll just call this one Tyler. We didn't know this, but it was like we'll say Michelle. From the minute he met her until he ghosted her, it's like he (even without really introducing himself). He assumed Michelle liked him and one day put an ultimatium in front of HER, and she's like what? She didn't give the answer "he wanted" and picked the other girl. Michelle was like what? 6 months later, he struts in front of Michelle with the other "girlfriend" and shoves her in Michelle's face. I told Michelle, I can't believe this; he thought he had a "relationship" with you when you never even dated? He USED you to make this other girl jealous. If he wanted to Date you, he'd Date you. Not this game playing thing. He would never put another girl in front of you and praise HER in front of you. He should be NICE to you!!!!! I wouldn't be surprised if he lied and told the other girl you two dated, and you don't even know this.
What if it was a platonic friend? That is, a male who you shared no romantic relations with? Do you treat it as someone who does not know how to be a friend and ignore the calls/messages or allow the communication?
I’m wondering if 2weeks is considered ghosting
Yes.
😩
Yes
After a few days, it's ghosting.
1 day is ghosting. A man has to court you and talk to you everyday.
whats considered ghosting.. he turned his phone off all yesterday but called me this morning..
Cheater. Never trust a man who does that. He might have blocked you, now unblocked. I learned the hard way.
If you were their 1st choice thy would have never ghosted you. so BLOCK
What if he breaks up and then come back
Don’t take a man back if he breaks up and comes back. I did it, it became a cycle.. he then cheated and I left for good.
He came back after 2 months and I took him back. But sometimes I can't help but think he might do it again and I don't want to go to through that turmoil again. I can't help bringing it all up whenever we get into an argument and he gets so upset why I keep reminding him.
If u take him back u have to "forgive and forget" or its going to continue to cause issues. If you can't get over it then split up- no point going in circles of doubt fear and mistrust
@@LindaC444 Lady? ☝️ WHAT YOU SAID!!!!👌
Actually, I have had guys ghost me and I never let them come back. Of course they try to say one stupid word text so it didn't help them and I just ignored them. So saying every woman does this is not exactly accurate!!
He needs ego stroke and validation
You used to be this guy now who are you?
I'm even worse 😫 jk
why dont men love women??? no entiendo tanta misoginia!!!!!!!!!!
HOT AF
Is ghosting both of us don’t message each other after our 5th date for a month or is ghosting I messaged him and he never answered
Ghosting is him not acknowledging that you’re reaching out. He just ignores you. I once dated a guy for a bit. He called me that afternoon to make dinner plans. I got worried when he didn’t call and tried to reach him. Nothing. I left a message about how worried i was. Nothing. I tried the next day. Nothing. I never heard of ghosting before. I couldn’t understand what happened. Three months later, he claimed he just now found my number and had to do an emergency job out of town all that time. Lol he had no idea a friend of mine pretended to accidentally call the wrong number and he answered. I wanted to make he had not died. And she wanted to help lol So it was all a lie. When he called, i just said i was dating someone else. Never take them back.
@@Mayfloweralways at least you have the ability to contact him for an explanation. I have too much fear of rejection
@@aprilcloyce7426 i do know the feeling. Try to remember that it sets you free to move on. I’m going to share something that i hope helps you. The man i dated after that, he was great at first. About two months. But then he would forget to call. Or he forgot my birthday. Or he was too busy. And i just couldn’t accept it as rejection. He gave good excuses. He said all the right things. I stayed for years. And then one day i asked why he wasn’t making time for us lately. And i asked more questions. He grabbed me very hard and then grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. I would have said he was not capable of that. But i was wrong. You’re not being rejected. You’re just finding out he’s the wrong man for you. I promise. The man i’m with now, he can’t wait to see me. He makes time. He loves just snuggling and hug. It’s not rejection. It’s you finding out that he wasn’t the right person to give more of your time and commitment. It’s ok that you find that out. It’s a blessing.
If he’s not responding or reaching out. If a man doesn’t text at least 3 days after a date - block. You should have a line of guys. Don’t give out sex to anyone though.
@@Mayfloweralways Good for you!