The problem with this is nowadays most men know that women won’t stick around or put out in situationships, so they will straight up lie for months about how they’re looking for a relationship and say ALL the right things. There is literally no way to tell the difference.
Don’t sleep with him unless he has actually made you his committed official girlfriend or honestly ideally until you’re engaged or married. Plus, why would you stay with someone who can’t even see your potential/worth as a wife? You are the million dollar suitcase; if he can’t see that, he is NOT worth your time or energy. You have plenty of other options; he should be thankful that you even gave him a chance.
@@queenofthecrossroads2613 Women these days are too easily manipulated and they let the man fool them into becoming a bed placeholder. Know your WORTH.
What is the difference between situationship and relationship? Seriously I don't know. Because many people I know say they are in relationship (both man and the woman agree to this) but for me it seems like situationship.
If he saw you as his dream woman (it's all about looks) - no matter what you do - he will accept you, if he lost interest - he was never interested FULLY in the first place, only windowshopping.
It’s not all looks; plenty of pretty women found themselves in the dumb Becky bed placeholder position. It’s about your self-confidence and knowing your worth, as well as having the ruthlessness to walk away when he doesn’t give you what you want. Men respect the woman who is higher status and is willing to cut them loose because she knows she has plenty of other options.
@@deedeebrecca8645 Looks are only 35% of what keeps a man’s interest. There are plenty of pretty girls who got used as doormat bed placeholders. What keeps a man’s interest is you having a confident abundance mentality of options as well as the ruthlessness to walk away from him if he doesn’t live up to your standards. Men respect the women who know they have options and won’t settle for less.
@@zhhhhhhhbut so what? What if a man will respect you after you walk away? Then you have exes that respect you but you are still single because he didn't respect you fully or didnt live up to your standards when you were actually together. You are confident and cut your loses, your exes respect you after you kick them out. But you are still single. So what's the point? There is no one solution
@@annakarina8417 No, dumping him means you stop wasting your time on a man who is making you his dumb temporary bed placeholder. It also means you have space now for another man who is willing to make you his fiance or wife. Life is limited, and no offense but you'd be a true fool to be wasting your time and life on a man who sees you as the forever temporary dumb bed placeholder / free escort to be used for free sex. How sad that your standards are so low that you are basically acting as a free prostitute to a man who doesn't care about you.
@@Sadtoday I went thru the same thing literally more times than I feel comfortable admitting lmao it never ends well. Go cold turkey till the end of time basically
For 10 weeks I hung out with a guy spending a lot of time at his house for hours multiple times a week , Go out every week to see our favorite local band, and spent hours on the phone. He just got out of a six-year relationship. We have a really good time together, we go hiking and out to dinner sometimes afterwards. We never did hook up but it was a lot of cuddling… I really adore him And want to date. He never tries to hit on me. Finally last week we were talking and I brought up something about me being triggered by him exchanging numbers with a girl he was talking to when we were out at a concert. And his punchline to that was well the difference here is that we’re not in a relationship. He was not wrong! But that felt like a punch in the gut. He knew for the last 10 weeks that I really liked him and adored him because I told him. He told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he just got out of one after six years. I told him I understood that he was in a transitional time in his life. I was really upset and wanted to cry but I didn’t in front of him. I got up to leave he tried to hug me and I just let him without hugging him back and said we don’t do that anymore. I will not be going back to his house or giving him any more attention like I did. Elliot is not wrong… He totally took advantage of all that energy I was giving him without matching mine. He has since then texted me that he really misses me and can we please go for a hike and out to eat… But yet has asked when. Well I certainly won’t be following up on that one that’s now his job, and honestly I don’t even think it’s a good idea at this point, I’m not trying to just be a friend while I am trying to get over having a crush on him… my energy will be wanting his attention. Obviously he really just enjoyed my attention that I doled out in large amounts. NOT ANYMORE 😢
Absolutely don’t spend another minute on that one. After everything you described, sorry, but that IS dating. Exchanging numbers with someone in front of you is SO disrespectful! Cut him off and it’s his loss. What a tool!
That is so hurtful what he said to you even if it was technically true. You did the right thing. Stay strong and don't give him anymore of your precious energy. Can't just be friends after what you shared with him. Find someone else who values you, appreciates you, and is worthy of your energy.
@@angelatrinh1156 now the point is how to even find the right person... these fake guys come out so strong as the right person initially. Trusting them and getting heartbroken has created self-doubt, now every guy looks the same...
Aww deary, don’t worry. Learn from this and move on. I would suggest you watch The Story of Yanxi Palace. It’s a Chinese historical drama, but it follows a girl who eventually rises up in the palace and her secret to winning the heart of who she conquered was her ability to control her emotions. If you’ve ever seen a girl who is less attractive with a more handsome guy, it’s usually because that less attractive girl did not fawn over the guy. She treated him like he was everyone else and if he crossed a boundary, she politely backed off. The error you made with him was 1. Giving him energy that allowed him to know he was your crush and then 2. Telling him he’s your crush. It’s also not just about withholding your body, but it’s about the level of effort he had to invest in you before it was obvious you liked him. You may have responded to his texts too fast or treated him with deference too soon, so he knew early on. How much a man has to invest in you before you like him is nature’s way of telling them whether the girl is below, equal to or above him. Men marry the prize. If he easily got you, you were not acting like the prize and he sensed you were beneath him in mating value. You can get men you never dreamed you could get if you understand this principle (along with taking care of yourself and looking well put together).
This guy never took me out on dates, and I never put out, then he pulled away. Ladies don’t give up nothing. Wait to get to know him first, even if it takes three months. He got blocked and deleted 🙌🏽🙌🏽
After 3 years I have mine back. The memories are fading. Hopefully the hurt will soon be gone for good. The way he hurt me is something I think will haunt me going forward always thinking is every man going to do the same thing.
I'd say STRONGLY consider taking them back. And if you decide do, don't let them come back right away.... you'll really lose all power then. They need to work for that spot back in your life. Show them you don't need them and you can live without them. If they feel they can come right back without any sort of challenge or work, they're not gonna understand the consequences of their actions. It's not gonna be easy but well worth it. If they just broke up out of nowhere and moved out, then it may have been another person in the picture possibly. Sounds like it didn't workout like they thought and now they want to come back. Definitely make them work for it because you're worth way more than the way they did things!
Make him stay out and work on showing you why he left and didn’t work it out while in home with you. Above person could be right also, maybe someone else. Be sure you tell him you’ll think about it but you don’t like how he left things what is he willing to do to make it up.sorry to say he may just want access to sex and if he moved out and that is the hard truth
Tell him that you want to go very slow and that he has to prove himself to you, but also find yourself some other male options so you have leverage. That way, he knows that if he messes up again, you will find another man who can easily and quickly replace his spot. Men hate male competition and they don’t like ceding their territory to other men.
Same, I left him twice last year, went no contact, he called me 5 months later, same old nonsense, doesn't know what he wants, but thought I'd fall for it again. So, I blocked him, took all my power back. Plus his broken man child behaviour, has put me off him forever.
@@mylife2022good for you! ❤️ So glad u did that! id love to talk to u privately about my experience 😫 I'm struggling a little with this period and it's been over 40 days of no contact, I have no intention of reaching out and I have every intention of moving on but it's so difficult trying to let go
This is why you don't sleep with a guy until he's your official committed boyfriend or ideally until you're already engaged or married. The dreamgirl has self-respect and knows her value. Most women these days fooled themselves into becoming Becky the Bed Placeholder while he is still looking for Dreamgirl.
Women shouldn't enjoy sex? And what if for a woman good sex is one of her condition to be engaged or married? She should be virgin and then settle for her first lover (in marriage)? We had it already and in many countries it is still exactly like that. Result? Men still divorcing their virgin wifes, me still cheating on their virgin wifes, men still falling in love with different women during marriage with their virgin wifes. So it's not that easy. At the same time we all know women who were sleeping around a lot, enjoying themself, then having a boyfriend and then getting married, now happy married for years and their husbands seems still super happy like they won the lottery.
@@Sadtoday just leave the room then; why would you still want to be around him if he’s pushing himself on you? You should have your own standards and boundaries
Hmmm I did this twice in my life and both times they never changed, I ended up breaking up, one got into the stanly stalker position and the other one is in the henry the happy helper position.
There are many "relationships" where men never considered these women their real gfs, they only use them for sex, bill splitting, and these men are cheating on them. Too many men around like that, even men that are married are hitting on me.
I have a question How can we balance between being in a stable realashsonihip and not taking us for granted and fulfilling the desire of hunting in a man and not taking us for granted?
You make sure he truly wants you in the beginning. You explain certain standards you have and then wait to see if he fulfills them. If not, don’t be so eager to communicate and go out. He’ll understand your actions and adjust or not. That doesn’t mean be cold. Just be firm. Disagree with him. Tell him when you’re not happy with something. You establish yourself not as someone who wants him, but wants to be happy, and that it hopefully includes him. But maybe not, if he’s not there for the right reasons. And you mean it to your core. Yes, tell him when he’s wonderful but never hesitate that you can re-evaluate if he’s not treating you well. That’s really all you need to do. Not be afraid to let him go, if he deserves it. He’ll feel that.
If a man got his money freely (e.g., income tax return, inheritance) and spends this on you, will this be considered an investment? Even though he didn’t work hard for the money? How does this differ from a man’s perspective?
No sex on a first date. Although I saw a video by a sex therapist who said you should have sex on a first date, if you like a person, to find out if you are sexually compatible (ie in how you kiss, what you like) else the dates would be a waste of time because that is so important (to be compatible). Made sense to me too. What are your thoughts about this?
So your giving a stranger (man whom is stronger than you) the goods after a few hrs of meeting? Just critically think here. And don't listen to ridiculous "therapists/experts " all the time. Be discerning. You ever hear of the SNAKE OIL SALESMAN?
So helpful. Sports. These guys are just too hard to deal with. So here's Michelle. She knows they've got guys whom have girls coming up to them all the time. So they dont' think they need to prove anything. Frustrating. Lots of talking etc. but doesn't go anywhere. These guys give little info so it's hard to do the detective work. You want someone certain. It's sad that yes a guy will take advantage of you. So, as the lady, you need to state your wants and needs and he either steps up or doesn't. So for this season she's just cutting it off. Not staying too long.
Elliot, You make some really good points and ideas, but honestly its such hard work listening to you. You would do well to maybe script this before you record. There’s a lot of waffle.
I love your stuff. I notice however alot of your material thinks that men have no natural responsibility for his childen in nature.... without the male around the Child has a high chance of not surviving so it's naturally in his instinct to actually stick around at least until the family is no longer vulnerable, many years. Even if he goes around and has many children they will still have a low survival rate without him in 'nature' Also, I know many men that are now single dad's putting alot of recourses into an ex they cant stand as they have a child together.
Check out my guides here: payhip.com/b/jaLfc
The problem with this is nowadays most men know that women won’t stick around or put out in situationships, so they will straight up lie for months about how they’re looking for a relationship and say ALL the right things. There is literally no way to tell the difference.
This is correct! They totally mutated 😂
Don’t sleep with him unless he has actually made you his committed official girlfriend or honestly ideally until you’re engaged or married. Plus, why would you stay with someone who can’t even see your potential/worth as a wife? You are the million dollar suitcase; if he can’t see that, he is NOT worth your time or energy. You have plenty of other options; he should be thankful that you even gave him a chance.
Just wait! Men will usually not waste time with women they only want to sleep with. They can’t hold those cards very long- they WILL play them.
@@queenofthecrossroads2613 Women these days are too easily manipulated and they let the man fool them into becoming a bed placeholder. Know your WORTH.
What is the difference between situationship and relationship? Seriously I don't know. Because many people I know say they are in relationship (both man and the woman agree to this) but for me it seems like situationship.
If he saw you as his dream woman (it's all about looks) - no matter what you do - he will accept you, if he lost interest - he was never interested FULLY in the first place, only windowshopping.
It’s not all looks; plenty of pretty women found themselves in the dumb Becky bed placeholder position. It’s about your self-confidence and knowing your worth, as well as having the ruthlessness to walk away when he doesn’t give you what you want. Men respect the woman who is higher status and is willing to cut them loose because she knows she has plenty of other options.
You are correct. Men are visual. They want the best looking. Looks fade and so does a man's interest.
@@deedeebrecca8645 Looks are only 35% of what keeps a man’s interest. There are plenty of pretty girls who got used as doormat bed placeholders. What keeps a man’s interest is you having a confident abundance mentality of options as well as the ruthlessness to walk away from him if he doesn’t live up to your standards. Men respect the women who know they have options and won’t settle for less.
@@zhhhhhhhbut so what? What if a man will respect you after you walk away? Then you have exes that respect you but you are still single because he didn't respect you fully or didnt live up to your standards when you were actually together. You are confident and cut your loses, your exes respect you after you kick them out. But you are still single. So what's the point? There is no one solution
@@annakarina8417 No, dumping him means you stop wasting your time on a man who is making you his dumb temporary bed placeholder. It also means you have space now for another man who is willing to make you his fiance or wife. Life is limited, and no offense but you'd be a true fool to be wasting your time and life on a man who sees you as the forever temporary dumb bed placeholder / free escort to be used for free sex. How sad that your standards are so low that you are basically acting as a free prostitute to a man who doesn't care about you.
when he is truly dead to you and feels that energy shift, that’ll get the job done lol
I literally told him not to talk to me anymore and she had his friend reach out to me saying he needs to talk to me uh no
@@Sadtoday I went thru the same thing literally more times than I feel comfortable admitting lmao it never ends well. Go cold turkey till the end of time basically
So basically no guy is really ready or interested in a relationship, got it!
maybe coz they never leave their boyhood to step into manhood. 🔥just a guess
For 10 weeks I hung out with a guy spending a lot of time at his house for hours multiple times a week , Go out every week to see our favorite local band, and spent hours on the phone. He just got out of a six-year relationship. We have a really good time together, we go hiking and out to dinner sometimes afterwards. We never did hook up but it was a lot of cuddling… I really adore him And want to date. He never tries to hit on me. Finally last week we were talking and I brought up something about me being triggered by him exchanging numbers with a girl he was talking to when we were out at a concert. And his punchline to that was well the difference here is that we’re not in a relationship. He was not wrong! But that felt like a punch in the gut. He knew for the last 10 weeks that I really liked him and adored him because I told him. He told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he just got out of one after six years. I told him I understood that he was in a transitional time in his life.
I was really upset and wanted to cry but I didn’t in front of him. I got up to leave he tried to hug me and I just let him without hugging him back and said we don’t do that anymore. I will not be going back to his house or giving him any more attention like I did. Elliot is not wrong… He totally took advantage of all that energy I was giving him without matching mine. He has since then texted me that he really misses me and can we please go for a hike and out to eat… But yet has asked when. Well I certainly won’t be following up on that one that’s now his job, and honestly I don’t even think it’s a good idea at this point, I’m not trying to just be a friend while I am trying to get over having a crush on him… my energy will be wanting his attention. Obviously he really just enjoyed my attention that I doled out in large amounts. NOT ANYMORE 😢
Absolutely don’t spend another minute on that one. After everything you described, sorry, but that IS dating. Exchanging numbers with someone in front of you is SO disrespectful! Cut him off and it’s his loss. What a tool!
That is so hurtful what he said to you even if it was technically true. You did the right thing. Stay strong and don't give him anymore of your precious energy. Can't just be friends after what you shared with him. Find someone else who values you, appreciates you, and is worthy of your energy.
I feel you, I was in such a situationship for 4 years.... and now heartbroken
@@angelatrinh1156 now the point is how to even find the right person... these fake guys come out so strong as the right person initially. Trusting them and getting heartbroken has created self-doubt, now every guy looks the same...
Aww deary, don’t worry. Learn from this and move on. I would suggest you watch The Story of Yanxi Palace. It’s a Chinese historical drama, but it follows a girl who eventually rises up in the palace and her secret to winning the heart of who she conquered was her ability to control her emotions. If you’ve ever seen a girl who is less attractive with a more handsome guy, it’s usually because that less attractive girl did not fawn over the guy. She treated him like he was everyone else and if he crossed a boundary, she politely backed off. The error you made with him was 1. Giving him energy that allowed him to know he was your crush and then 2. Telling him he’s your crush. It’s also not just about withholding your body, but it’s about the level of effort he had to invest in you before it was obvious you liked him. You may have responded to his texts too fast or treated him with deference too soon, so he knew early on. How much a man has to invest in you before you like him is nature’s way of telling them whether the girl is below, equal to or above him. Men marry the prize. If he easily got you, you were not acting like the prize and he sensed you were beneath him in mating value. You can get men you never dreamed you could get if you understand this principle (along with taking care of yourself and looking well put together).
Elliott is right ladies. Please value yourselves. Just keep legs closed, let him leave or step up for what’s right.
Every woman, young and old, needs to watch this.
We notice u tell us truthfully how men actually THINK . I will love a video on what resources a man should provide. To be fair.
This guy never took me out on dates, and I never put out, then he pulled away. Ladies don’t give up nothing. Wait to get to know him first, even if it takes three months. He got blocked and deleted 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I think this is one of the best videos you've ever made. Really concise. Thanks.
Love your videos up they cheer me up immensely how you explain things
Great advice, you have really matured over the years. Thank you
After 3 years I have mine back. The memories are fading. Hopefully the hurt will soon be gone for good. The way he hurt me is something I think will haunt me going forward always thinking is every man going to do the same thing.
he came back after 3 years?
No
Power back
Get out of that relationship NOW!!!! The right man would not hurt you, and he would do everything in his power to never lose you!
Why be with a selfish man that doesnt care if he causes you pain.
This video couldn’t have came at a better time haha
He pulled away once and asked him back. He came back but he's pulling away again😢 i guess all i can do is let him go?...
Needed this, my ex broke up and moved out two days ago and wants to work things out. Feel like I have no power.
I'm sorry 😞
I'd say STRONGLY consider taking them back. And if you decide do, don't let them come back right away.... you'll really lose all power then. They need to work for that spot back in your life. Show them you don't need them and you can live without them. If they feel they can come right back without any sort of challenge or work, they're not gonna understand the consequences of their actions. It's not gonna be easy but well worth it. If they just broke up out of nowhere and moved out, then it may have been another person in the picture possibly. Sounds like it didn't workout like they thought and now they want to come back. Definitely make them work for it because you're worth way more than the way they did things!
Make him stay out and work on showing you why he left and didn’t work it out while in home with you. Above person could be right also, maybe someone else. Be sure you tell him you’ll think about it but you don’t like how he left things what is he willing to do to make it up.sorry to say he may just want access to sex and if he moved out and that is the hard truth
Tell him that you want to go very slow and that he has to prove himself to you, but also find yourself some other male options so you have leverage. That way, he knows that if he messes up again, you will find another man who can easily and quickly replace his spot. Men hate male competition and they don’t like ceding their territory to other men.
Date others
I wasnt getting my money's worth, that's for sure. I didn't know enough.
11.20 is so accurate, that was literally me and after 2 weeks I had enough
Same, I left him twice last year, went no contact, he called me 5 months later, same old nonsense, doesn't know what he wants, but thought I'd fall for it again. So, I blocked him, took all my power back. Plus his broken man child behaviour, has put me off him forever.
@@mylife2022good for you! ❤️ So glad u did that! id love to talk to u privately about my experience 😫 I'm struggling a little with this period and it's been over 40 days of no contact, I have no intention of reaching out and I have every intention of moving on but it's so difficult trying to let go
Elliot don't you EVER apologize for how you look.... You are Hawt!😍😂
First part yes. Second part no
Man, Im doing everything wrong😬
I'm addicted🤦♀️
I am doing everything right, but i got no sex in my life haha.
@NoName-ph5pg supposed to have someone on speed dial for that....
This is why you don't sleep with a guy until he's your official committed boyfriend or ideally until you're already engaged or married. The dreamgirl has self-respect and knows her value. Most women these days fooled themselves into becoming Becky the Bed Placeholder while he is still looking for Dreamgirl.
Women shouldn't enjoy sex? And what if for a woman good sex is one of her condition to be engaged or married? She should be virgin and then settle for her first lover (in marriage)? We had it already and in many countries it is still exactly like that. Result? Men still divorcing their virgin wifes, me still cheating on their virgin wifes, men still falling in love with different women during marriage with their virgin wifes. So it's not that easy. At the same time we all know women who were sleeping around a lot, enjoying themself, then having a boyfriend and then getting married, now happy married for years and their husbands seems still super happy like they won the lottery.
What if he’s the one that invited himself over and push it on you and pushes and pushed and pushed it on you until you give in
@@Sadtoday just leave the room then; why would you still want to be around him if he’s pushing himself on you? You should have your own standards and boundaries
@@Sadtoday he is abuser. Run
Hmmm I did this twice in my life and both times they never changed, I ended up breaking up, one got into the stanly stalker position and the other one is in the henry the happy helper position.
How to communicate needs . transactional needs
Can you put out some audio books for your guides lol
There are many "relationships" where men never considered these women their real gfs, they only use them for sex, bill splitting, and these men are cheating on them. Too many men around like that, even men that are married are hitting on me.
I have a question How can we balance between being in a stable realashsonihip and not taking us for granted and fulfilling the desire of hunting in a man and not taking us for granted?
You make sure he truly wants you in the beginning. You explain certain standards you have and then wait to see if he fulfills them. If not, don’t be so eager to communicate and go out. He’ll understand your actions and adjust or not. That doesn’t mean be cold. Just be firm. Disagree with him. Tell him when you’re not happy with something. You establish yourself not as someone who wants him, but wants to be happy, and that it hopefully includes him. But maybe not, if he’s not there for the right reasons. And you mean it to your core. Yes, tell him when he’s wonderful but never hesitate that you can re-evaluate if he’s not treating you well. That’s really all you need to do. Not be afraid to let him go, if he deserves it. He’ll feel that.
You know me too well 😅
True love
If a man got his money freely (e.g., income tax return, inheritance) and spends this on you, will this be considered an investment? Even though he didn’t work hard for the money? How does this differ from a man’s perspective?
I think it's the same. It's investment
But investment shouldn't be only money.. It should be time and effort too. He should spending time with you and helping you not financially
My ex will never value me thats why i.left 4 years together and he didnt give a damn when i left
❤
No sex on a first date. Although I saw a video by a sex therapist who said you should have sex on a first date, if you like a person, to find out if you are sexually compatible (ie in how you kiss, what you like) else the dates would be a waste of time because that is so important (to be compatible). Made sense to me too. What are your thoughts about this?
So your giving a stranger (man whom is stronger than you) the goods after a few hrs of meeting? Just critically think here. And don't listen to ridiculous "therapists/experts " all the time. Be discerning. You ever hear of the SNAKE OIL SALESMAN?
So helpful. Sports. These guys are just too hard to deal with. So here's Michelle. She knows they've got guys whom have girls coming up to them all the time. So they dont' think they need to prove anything. Frustrating. Lots of talking etc. but doesn't go anywhere. These guys give little info so it's hard to do the detective work. You want someone certain. It's sad that yes a guy will take advantage of you. So, as the lady, you need to state your wants and needs and he either steps up or doesn't. So for this season she's just cutting it off. Not staying too long.
What if he is my colleague? how can i not talk to him?
You can't. That's what we call a life lesson. Don't shit where you eat lol
Thank you 😅but should I ignore him or treat him neutrally/just as a colleague? (he wanted to be friends of course. lol)@@ElliotScottDating
8:51
Elliot, You make some really good points and ideas, but honestly its such hard work listening to you. You would do well to maybe script this before you record. There’s a lot of waffle.
I agree 💯. I just popped this up last minute. I will make sure to have it more structured
I love your stuff. I notice however alot of your material thinks that men have no natural responsibility for his childen in nature.... without the male around the Child has a high chance of not surviving so it's naturally in his instinct to actually stick around at least until the family is no longer vulnerable, many years.
Even if he goes around and has many children they will still have a low survival rate without him in 'nature'
Also, I know many men that are now single dad's putting alot of recourses into an ex they cant stand as they have a child together.
❣️ Promo*SM