Why does being cold work so well? Because, it’s literally just the natural, appropriate, and healthy response to being taken for granted, neglected or mistreated when someone has healthy self esteem. Long story short: never lower your standards just because you like a guy. The locus of control should be in the treatment you are receiving, not the person you are interacting with. I don’t care how much chemistry you have or how good the first date was - the right guy for you will never make you endure this. As soon as he stops making an effort and makes you feel neglected or disrespected, you need to mentally assume it’s not going to work out and be ready to walk. Now he has one last chance to fight for you like he’s on his last heart in a video game. If he can’t even do that, why would you want him anyway? There’s nothing attractive about a guy who’s not willing to fight and work for you.
@@maggot617 nothing valuable is for free. Marriage requires courtship. A man competes with other suitors for his dream wife to prove he is the best to mate with.
Bonus tip: whenever I decide I’m done with a guy because he disrespected me somehow, I always save his name as “🤡 clown(suffix)” in my phone to remind myself why things didn’t work out if ever I feel upset about what happened. (The suffix is whatever suffix is in his real name.) it works like a charm
@@maggot617 in most cases people need to reciprocate but we are talking about a scenario where a man messed up with a woman by being disrespectful or neglectful in which case he needs to do more than reciprocate, because he already failed to do that. Now he needs to make up for it and compensate for it.
The problem with me is: im a very patient, but once I walk away, I'm not coming back ever. You're dead to me. So I don't pretend to be cold, I have no emotion, you don't exist to me. I don't give them the opportunity to come back. I changed my number and they're blocked on social media, any mutual friends are blocked too. My cutt off game is ruthless. Don't play with me
My rule is never let a man disrespect you twice. Yes, people make mistakes. But if a man is "making mistakes" during the talking or dating stage when he's supposed to be on his best behavior, it only gets worse from there. ONLY if you've been in a committed, monogamous relationship for a good while does he get to "make mistakes," and even then, watch: Once is a mistake. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. If he screws up the same way more than twice, he's gone.
First of all, I do not chase . If he's gone I will respect his wishes and shut it down.. It's a wrap.... "My alone feels so good. I'll have him only if he's sweeter than my solitude..❤❤❤
I've gone totally no contact . Blocked him on all social media . Went totally cold . Now he's coming around and changing his tune . So it actually works . Thank You 😊 ...
It's not about being cold. It's about keeping your boundaries. Im warm, happy yet direct and firm. Dudes love it because they know ill communicate without being explosive. My light hearted mood is unaffected while being true to myself.
I’ve done this, day 3 is the hardest. You start doubting yourself even if logically you know your worth you need to believe it on an emotional level too to be able to pull it off. My weakness is when they come back, I fall back in. New rule, I don’t give guys second chances. Way too risky!
This is spot on! I was dating a guy end of 2022 for 6 months, broke up once in between bc he was taking me for granted. Mistake I made was not standing my ground when we got back together. He told me “let’s take things slow” and for the last 2 months we were together , he stopped taking me on dates, I became a booty call in essence. Finally , one day he became overly jealous bc I had to have a lunch meeting with a male client , ghosted me after that. It’s been a year and a half almost and I’m still so hurt about the whole thing. He broke me 😢
I walked away from a guy who took me for granted and I’m not going to cave. He needs to come to me and show me change, otherwise, goodbye for good! I’m fed up.
I am alone for many years now, not that i never dated but i am so happy living on my own. I only come here because i love Elliot and i like his videos 😂 you are funny, real and you know what you are talking about 🎶🎶🎶 Love ❤
@@ElliotScottDating I had dates and relationships from 15 till 44, was never alone. I am happy on my own and it will come when i am ready again. Life is amazing when you embrace the silence in yourself 😘
@@ElliotScottDatingno she shouldnt. Lets not act like picking ourselves and being happy being single is a bad thing. Pressuring people to date because “life is too short” just makes things more complicated because youre not doing it for yourself and its not genuine.
Elliot, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. I was crying about this man ghosting me for two months and I haven’t cried in two weeks. I took all your advice about no contact and not initiating anything. He texted me this morning trying to make small talk…. Idk where to go from here though…
@@cherrylane79 we just started talking about our old job together very basic conversation. I’m not sure what he wants, but I got him double texting now.
Mostly likely the other women he was interested in stopped talking to him and now he's feeling lonely. Keep your options open and let him earn time with you.
@@Talkwithdulciask him directly. What does he want bc your not friends anymore? If he's not offering you what you need. Tell him that doesn't work for you. And go cold and mean it
I blocked him including his phone number, but not to be petty. I did it because I know he will try texting or sending reels to slip back in communication. I told him I couldn’t do the back and forth. 😢
Good for you. Same for me, I don't want someone like that. If he can hurt you once, he can do it again. Walk with your head held high as he done you a favour in showing his bad behaviour early 😊
I'm done. This is not love, this is games and manipulation. I'm too old for this at 40 man 😞. I'll probably just hire a surrogate to have a baby on my own or adopt/foster. 🎯😞 Men don't know how to love. Men just "love" you if you're young, fertile, and perfect and don't give him problems! That's not realistic.
Thats the Game of Life. Everybody is playing something. When you Talk to a new gut you are Not bring yourself as you would Talk with an old friend. Wherever we do it, but we do it!
Damn…. Wish I saw this before… I actually did this on my own cut him off cause we weren’t on the same page… ran into eachother again and .. we missed eachother but he said he wanted to take it slow see where it goes but he isn’t ready for relationship still SMH now at square one again 😭😭. This makes me feel like I’m worthless…
So I was begging him last night to come back and he didn’t change his mind. So I the last thing I said was “have a good night. I love you” Then, today around 6pm he saw me in traffic and texted me “stop texting and driving” If he dumped me and is not interested in getting back together and has literally told me to move on, why is he still texting me this stuff
Im in NC for 1.5 years, but during this time each response/reach out by him was an attack of mistreatment, lies and disrespect towards me and my family. He kept denying the truth after I had called him out the first time on cheating. After being this cold for so long, he ended our relationship on text. Recently, I learned that he keeps lying to his family and went on a 5-day trip to make out with a common married woman close family friend (who also happens to be cheating on her husband, unfortunately his BFF). This was woman I had called him out on. Lesson learned. Never turing back. No second chance! He proved me right!
"Like" will get you fucked up lol I like a lot of shoes when I go shopping but, I cannot afford to buy them all just because "I like them".....liking is only a starting point. Thats it.
How to act if we come to see each other in a professional context? Literally avoid him? Not saluting him? Telling him the truth? I will see him in 2 days...i am kinda panicking and wished i won't see him in that context. It is like unatural.
Hi Elliot I am in the same situation as your client’s - we are coworkers - and he’s pulled away, I don’ t know how to behave. What do I do? How do I get in contact with you?
I have a question I’ve been wondering about… if you sense a guy is a player (but leading you on and trying to act serious) is it smart to straight up call him out on his bs? Let him know u aren’t dumb and figured out his intentions? Or is it smarter to just drop him while not calling him out on it?
I knew a guy one week and slept with him on the second date. My bad, I know! He ghosted me and I’ve gone no contact. We never see each other in the real world as we met online. I haven’t heard from him. do you think there’s any hope?
Just say really casual and girly "Am I seeing anyone else? hehe I am single and casually dating gentlemen and getting to know new people" you can add "with the intention of (finding a relationship/that leads to marriage/commitment)"
If you have to watch a video on how to be cold to a guy so he can notice you then the guy is not for you. All these tactics on RUclips don't work. The common sense thing to do is just move on and find a guy that won't play games on you. And no contact is a waste of time it just prolongs you more in pain
It does work. When you're being cold, you're focusing more on yourself and opening yourself up to other possibilities and not just waiting around for this guy to return. If he does return, Elliot says to make sure you establish a "contract" first. If he can't do that, move on.
SPOT ON. The thing is, only weak men will fall for this. Women want emotionally strong men. The conclusion would be she will only continue to attract weak men and eventually discard him in hope to find a stronger man. Those weak discarded men turn into stronger men through their pain and suffering then the market eventually shifts. I wish all these women the best of luck
@@derwoodhamburger Only a MEN who understand it went trough it. “When people show you who they are the first time, trust them” Aka “Be a MAN of your word” Or A woman. Either way. This shit gonna help you in your lifetime ALOT The only “bag”those cold woman gonna catch is a bodybag.
Not necessarily. I have experienced wild attraction but there are so many emotionally immature/ Playas out there. Some guys will play their stupid games, just be grateful they exposed themselves early so there is time to reflect on whether they are good enough to be in your life.
Sometimes it not that they aren't attracted. They don't want to invest or they want to see if they can find better OR they think you will be on standby for them. Mine ghosted me and now keeps spying on me. I've gone no contact and I'm sure he didn't expect that. I soft blocked him and he refollowed my stuff 3 days later. Some of them just play games
@@Lynn-r7x Mine came back twice, now he's gone again and I've decided to do no contact, and now he's following my stories, probably trying to keep me on the back burner again with intention to return, but I won't let it happen this time.
This is so bad advice men have emotions as well and it makes somebody feel insecure who wants a person that you have to play games with you want somebody that knows there worth and wants you
@@Lynn-r7x if somebody is giving you BS they are showing you who they truly are why bother just move on who wants to be with somebody like that a life time of playing games with a person that’s not ready for a relationship it will never last
Guides And Coaching: liinks.co/elliotscott
How do I get in touch/have a couching session with you?
You’re awesome Elliot. Your channel really helps women. Thank you ❤
@@yousralahrach3257 elliotscottservices.clickfunnels.com/pricing-page1659523299475
Why does being cold work so well? Because, it’s literally just the natural, appropriate, and healthy response to being taken for granted, neglected or mistreated when someone has healthy self esteem. Long story short: never lower your standards just because you like a guy. The locus of control should be in the treatment you are receiving, not the person you are interacting with. I don’t care how much chemistry you have or how good the first date was - the right guy for you will never make you endure this. As soon as he stops making an effort and makes you feel neglected or disrespected, you need to mentally assume it’s not going to work out and be ready to walk. Now he has one last chance to fight for you like he’s on his last heart in a video game. If he can’t even do that, why would you want him anyway? There’s nothing attractive about a guy who’s not willing to fight and work for you.
👏👏👏👑
People should reciprocate not “fight” for each other that’s low value
@@maggot617 nothing valuable is for free. Marriage requires courtship. A man competes with other suitors for his dream wife to prove he is the best to mate with.
Bonus tip: whenever I decide I’m done with a guy because he disrespected me somehow, I always save his name as “🤡 clown(suffix)” in my phone to remind myself why things didn’t work out if ever I feel upset about what happened. (The suffix is whatever suffix is in his real name.) it works like a charm
@@maggot617 in most cases people need to reciprocate but we are talking about a scenario where a man messed up with a woman by being disrespectful or neglectful in which case he needs to do more than reciprocate, because he already failed to do that. Now he needs to make up for it and compensate for it.
The problem with me is: im a very patient, but once I walk away, I'm not coming back ever. You're dead to me. So I don't pretend to be cold, I have no emotion, you don't exist to me.
I don't give them the opportunity to come back. I changed my number and they're blocked on social media, any mutual friends are blocked too.
My cutt off game is ruthless. Don't play with me
This is me. I'm very naturally cold once i get disrespected.
Call me edward scissor hands ✂️ because my cut off game is like that. Chop-chop-chop-chop 😂
Im the same way. Only one chance with me, you blew it, you’re done forever. It’s like they never existed.
That’s on period!
Why u choose this name @@user_abcxyzz
My rule is never let a man disrespect you twice. Yes, people make mistakes. But if a man is "making mistakes" during the talking or dating stage when he's supposed to be on his best behavior, it only gets worse from there. ONLY if you've been in a committed, monogamous relationship for a good while does he get to "make mistakes," and even then, watch: Once is a mistake. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. If he screws up the same way more than twice, he's gone.
Three times is a pattern. 💯 fact
I'm not giving a man a second opportunity to mistreat/disrespect me. Nope!
That's exactly what I was thinking yesterday. He gave me too much grief
Cant say I blame you haha.
I Will follow through exactly how this video says.
First of all, I do not chase . If he's gone I will respect his wishes and shut it down.. It's a wrap.... "My alone feels so good. I'll have him only if he's sweeter than my solitude..❤❤❤
I've gone totally no contact . Blocked him on all social media . Went totally cold . Now he's coming around and changing his tune . So it actually works . Thank You 😊 ...
Do you girl. Happy you did what you had to do!
Ya for now till you give him what he wants.
He better be meeting all your needs as the bare minimum
Only for short term
@@lolaamazonia5218 yeah, so I wouldn't allow him back at all, unless he's begging to give you everything you need
It's not about being cold. It's about keeping your boundaries. Im warm, happy yet direct and firm. Dudes love it because they know ill communicate without being explosive. My light hearted mood is unaffected while being true to myself.
That’s a great way of being
I’ve already forgiven him, but I am the BEST actress. I am ICE COLD AF until I get what I want! No more nice girl 😂 i’m ice girl now hahaha 🥶
ICE GIRL! I loooove that 😂
🥶 I am too.
YES !! Best approach is to LET GO! Holding on or waiting for an outcome is really unhealthy on every level.
I’ve done this, day 3 is the hardest. You start doubting yourself even if logically you know your worth you need to believe it on an emotional level too to be able to pull it off. My weakness is when they come back, I fall back in. New rule, I don’t give guys second chances. Way too risky!
I can relate with you
They will come back just to gain the upper hand by trying to get what they want just to turn around and go cold on you.
This is spot on! I was dating a guy end of 2022 for 6 months, broke up once in between bc he was taking me for granted. Mistake I made was not standing my ground when we got back together. He told me “let’s take things slow” and for the last 2 months we were together , he stopped taking me on dates, I became a booty call in essence. Finally , one day he became overly jealous bc I had to have a lunch meeting with a male client , ghosted me after that. It’s been a year and a half almost and I’m still so hurt about the whole thing. He broke me 😢
The best thing Elliot has taught me is to not be outcome dependent 💯 Its truly been liberating ❤️ thank you for that 🙏🏼
I walked away from a guy who took me for granted and I’m not going to cave. He needs to come to me and show me change, otherwise, goodbye for good! I’m fed up.
I love this guy. He’s exceptional 🥰
I am alone for many years now, not that i never dated but i am so happy living on my own.
I only come here because i love Elliot and i like his videos 😂 you are funny, real and you know what you are talking about 🎶🎶🎶
Love ❤
Go date! Life is short.
@@ElliotScottDating I had dates and relationships from 15 till 44, was never alone. I am happy on my own and it will come when i am ready again.
Life is amazing when you embrace the silence in yourself 😘
@@Liz-dragon-street.Peace is priceless
I’ve never had a serious relationship and I’m almost 38 years old. I guess I never craved it until now. Been very happy single, that’s for sure.
@@ElliotScottDatingno she shouldnt. Lets not act like picking ourselves and being happy being single is a bad thing. Pressuring people to date because “life is too short” just makes things more complicated because youre not doing it for yourself and its not genuine.
Elliot, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. I was crying about this man ghosting me for two months and I haven’t cried in two weeks. I took all your advice about no contact and not initiating anything. He texted me this morning trying to make small talk…. Idk where to go from here though…
IMO you can answer, and be polite, but be cold. (make him start from the beginning). Could be that he is trying to take advantage of you.
@@cherrylane79 we just started talking about our old job together very basic conversation. I’m not sure what he wants, but I got him double texting now.
Mostly likely the other women he was interested in stopped talking to him and now he's feeling lonely. Keep your options open and let him earn time with you.
@@prettyglowin694 you don’t have to be so negative 🤦♀️
@@Talkwithdulciask him directly. What does he want bc your not friends anymore?
If he's not offering you what you need. Tell him that doesn't work for you. And go cold and mean it
Never give a second chance
I blocked him including his phone number, but not to be petty. I did it because I know he will try texting or sending reels to slip back in communication. I told him I couldn’t do the back and forth. 😢
Well done and ul meet better
Good for you. Same for me, I don't want someone like that. If he can hurt you once, he can do it again. Walk with your head held high as he done you a favour in showing his bad behaviour early 😊
I become very cold that forget the guy and starting looking another paths instead of following the plan
Elliot be the type of guy to witness some injustice and be like “NAAA HOMIE, get yr ass back here and apologize for the bs”
Super Elliot to the rescue!
I wouldn't want my man to regret anything.. definitely not everything.
I am so glad I found your channel. I am really struggling right now. Thank you for your videos!
Welcome ❤️ 🙏 hope everything works out
@@ElliotScottDating Thank you so much ❤️
I absolutely love this coach! I wish he were available!! Thank you Elliot for all you do!
I am available haha
Thank 😊 you coach for this structured chart. Excellent teacher 👏 👍 👌 😀
I love it you are so passionate about it 😂😂❤❤
Elliot, you are the best! You are the best teacher! And you are so right. Thank you ❤
You’re my big brother in my head 😂❤ thank you for the advice
I'm done. This is not love, this is games and manipulation. I'm too old for this at 40 man 😞. I'll probably just hire a surrogate to have a baby on my own or adopt/foster. 🎯😞 Men don't know how to love. Men just "love" you if you're young, fertile, and perfect and don't give him problems! That's not realistic.
Thats the Game of Life. Everybody is playing something. When you Talk to a new gut you are Not bring yourself as you would Talk with an old friend. Wherever we do it, but we do it!
Damn…. Wish I saw this before… I actually did this on my own cut him off cause we weren’t on the same page… ran into eachother again and .. we missed eachother but he said he wanted to take it slow see where it goes but he isn’t ready for relationship still SMH now at square one again 😭😭. This makes me feel like I’m worthless…
Love the detail about the negotiation part
you have been SO helpful to me. i really appreciate you ❤
So I was begging him last night to come back and he didn’t change his mind. So I the last thing I said was “have a good night. I love you”
Then, today around 6pm he saw me in traffic and texted me “stop texting and driving”
If he dumped me and is not interested in getting back together and has literally told me to move on, why is he still texting me this stuff
Don't ever beg... self respect and rein in your emotions. He is a joke...And he doesn't care...Boys and immature men don't care...
He probably liked your message and found you someone that he would like to have some fun with.b
"im coming up close"..LOL..
Im in NC for 1.5 years, but during this time each response/reach out by him was an attack of mistreatment, lies and disrespect towards me and my family. He kept denying the truth after I had called him out the first time on cheating. After being this cold for so long, he ended our relationship on text. Recently, I learned that he keeps lying to his family and went on a 5-day trip to make out with a common married woman close family friend (who also happens to be cheating on her husband, unfortunately his BFF). This was woman I had called him out on. Lesson learned. Never turing back. No second chance! He proved me right!
I went on one date with this guy, I wasn't interested. So I texted him sorry I am not interested and he messaged me 7 times on 3 different apps 😂
10:32 - That's EXACTLY what mine said to me ! How did you know ? !
(except for the part about the dog swallowing something . . .)
"Like" will get you fucked up lol I like a lot of shoes when I go shopping but, I cannot afford to buy them all just because "I like them".....liking is only a starting point. Thats it.
Yes!!
I just wanna say, i think you’re Very smart and funny ☺️
😂 I love u & your delivery, Elliott!! ❤
Phenomenal video. Thank you!
I play this game well. My dad taught me well.
Great content Elliott!
I watch these things as time passing...its no longer exciting or even relevant to think of these things if men have no heart.
Thank you for acknowledging this is hard to do, yet necessary.
Love your work so much Elliot ♥️
Great Video❤
Nearly 4 years of on off bs.. I have no patience left. Blocked forever
I love it! This is 💯 ...
How to act if we come to see each other in a professional context? Literally avoid him? Not saluting him? Telling him the truth? I will see him in 2 days...i am kinda panicking and wished i won't see him in that context. It is like unatural.
On point, Cesar Millan oops I mean Elliot
You're the best
Hi Elliot I am in the same situation as your client’s - we are coworkers - and he’s pulled away, I don’ t know how to behave. What do I do? How do I get in contact with you?
I have a question I’ve been wondering about… if you sense a guy is a player (but leading you on and trying to act serious) is it smart to straight up call him out on his bs? Let him know u aren’t dumb and figured out his intentions? Or is it smarter to just drop him while not calling him out on it?
I dont get cold....i get sarcastic😎
Mother Nature IS a fine piece of ass, goddam 😂 4:36
Tell me she ain't tho. Mother Nature is Bae
yeah i went cold, it’s been like 8 months i think he committed to someone else. sucks but that’s life right?
She did this shit to me and went in relationship with someone else and I was the fool😂😂😂 who loved her
I knew a guy one week and slept with him on the second date. My bad, I know! He ghosted me and I’ve gone no contact. We never see each other in the real world as we met online. I haven’t heard from him. do you think there’s any hope?
May be hard to hear, but you don’t want “hope” with a guy like that. Guys go after what they want. I’ve learned this the hard way myself.
So how long is considered pulling away? If he waits a week and a half to reach out?
I’m done with BS games. I’ll stay single. Fuck it!!
Just say really casual and girly "Am I seeing anyone else? hehe I am single and casually dating gentlemen and getting to know new people" you can add "with the intention of (finding a relationship/that leads to marriage/commitment)"
Do you have any videos on when go know a guy is "done"
Not skip 😂😂
If you have to watch a video on how to be cold to a guy so he can notice you then the guy is not for you. All these tactics on RUclips don't work. The common sense thing to do is just move on and find a guy that won't play games on you. And no contact is a waste of time it just prolongs you more in pain
It does work. When you're being cold, you're focusing more on yourself and opening yourself up to other possibilities and not just waiting around for this guy to return. If he does return, Elliot says to make sure you establish a "contract" first. If he can't do that, move on.
Hey. Hope you're ok! Did covid change your voice a little bit? Just curious. It sounds so different
Taking trt so it changes my voice
😂"My f dog skip...Idon't know...swalloweed I don't know...a condom..." Loved it
What a bs.
Who wants a cold ex?
“I love her because she is so cold”
Said no man ever.
SPOT ON.
The thing is, only weak men will fall for this. Women want emotionally strong men. The conclusion would be she will only continue to attract weak men and eventually discard him in hope to find a stronger man. Those weak discarded men turn into stronger men through their pain and suffering then the market eventually shifts. I wish all these women the best of luck
@@derwoodhamburger
Only a MEN who understand it went trough it.
“When people show you who they are the first time, trust them”
Aka
“Be a MAN of your word”
Or
A woman.
Either way. This shit gonna help you in your lifetime ALOT
The only “bag”those cold woman gonna catch is a bodybag.
We don't care whether you want us. That is the point. We are walking away and you only have yourself to blame.
Bro are you ok
If you've gotta be cold why even participate? No thanks
I agree with that statement 💯. If it was up to me I'd tell you all to drop him 😅
@@ElliotScottDating no doubt
Because men test women too just like we test men to see if they're marriage material
If you like the person enough you will I suppose
❤
If he ghosted, he wasn;t attracted so being cold will do nothing, because he is not trying to initiate anything, he left you.
Not necessarily. I have experienced wild attraction but there are so many emotionally immature/ Playas out there. Some guys will play their stupid games, just be grateful they exposed themselves early so there is time to reflect on whether they are good enough to be in your life.
Sometimes it not that they aren't attracted. They don't want to invest or they want to see if they can find better OR they think you will be on standby for them. Mine ghosted me and now keeps spying on me. I've gone no contact and I'm sure he didn't expect that. I soft blocked him and he refollowed my stuff 3 days later. Some of them just play games
@@Lynn-r7x Mine came back twice, now he's gone again and I've decided to do no contact, and now he's following my stories, probably trying to keep me on the back burner again with intention to return, but I won't let it happen this time.
At no point did i guess condom. I said bee, toy, string, rock. Then you said condom.
Great Video, just when I needed it. Love your energy by the way! Regards from Belgrade, Serbia. 🤗🫶🏻🍀
omg this is chess...)
😂 ❤
Jaja u cute
This is so bad advice men have emotions as well and it makes somebody feel insecure who wants a person that you have to play games with you want somebody that knows there worth and wants you
He is saying be cold after they pull BS....he isn't saying just be cold for no reason.
@@Lynn-r7x if somebody is giving you BS they are showing you who they truly are why bother just move on who wants to be with somebody like that a life time of playing games with a person that’s not ready for a relationship it will never last
I love your drawings