Clear Expectations for Yourself and Your Partner in a Strong Relationship

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  • Опубликовано: 23 янв 2025

Комментарии • 109

  • @donnaallgaier-lamberti3933
    @donnaallgaier-lamberti3933 4 года назад +39

    This is a wonderful analogy...My husband and I have been through thick and thin together....debts, starting over financially, illness, adult children and his cognitive decline and we made a commitment to each other over and over. That is a committed relationship.

  • @JVanProduction
    @JVanProduction 2 года назад +3

    11:26 mark hit me hard. He hit it on the nail for how I felt in my last relationship. You can be in love but not necessarily happy. It’s hard to differentiate true happiness when you are in love. Your body and mind is giving you all the feel good hormones (dopamine, oxytocin,etc).. So, your body and mind are convincing you that you’re happy but your heart feels heavy and weighted. I didn’t feel like my partner respected me. I often felt overlooked or undervalued but my defense mechanism is denial. I would convince myself of all the “space mountain” moments and the things that he did that showed me that he loved me. The micro experiences . The sentiment override but every time he interrupted me, withheld communication, pitted me against one of his friends or created this narrative that I was unreasonable or stubborn, or convinced me that the conversation never happened... my heart sank. It felt heavy. It’s hard when you finally get to that vulnerability to realize that you fell in love with the wrong person.

  • @Rii875
    @Rii875 3 года назад +4

    I really need to think about breaking up rn, 3 months in I invested so much and he barely put any effort in, and I just stupidly thought “once he’s not this busy, once he got the time”, I’m not able to treat him like a king anymore if he doesn’t treat me like a queen.. we definitely need to have a conversation

  • @kelleyanne4372
    @kelleyanne4372 4 года назад +49

    This literally brought me to tears. I cannot even tell you how much this portrays exactly how I feel about relationships. Thank you thank you so very much for these incredibly inspiring words. ❤️

    • @ibrahimhamada5751
      @ibrahimhamada5751 4 года назад

      Hi kelley how are you today im ibrahim from egypt and im 36 years old I admire for your comment and It really thrills me to see a beautiful and adorable woman like you with such an amazing smile, I really would love to learn more about you but that is if you don't mind sending me a friend request.thank😍👍❤️🌹🇪🇬

  • @MichiSpeaks
    @MichiSpeaks 3 года назад +7

    This is unbelievable advice. We get lost in the idea of how perfect a person is within the first date and overlook the relationship of highest value which is a process, a commitment to building together. This is not an overnight romantic relationship. Its probably not one full of exciting dates and endless nights of hot sex. It’s one of confidence, struggle, support, bare honesty and emotional availability. The commitment to a person without conditions and with trust to see whether you both can, and want to build together. No overnight perfect partner here. This is a rare and true love. Excellent advice also to pacing relationships. This kind of relationship may take months/years. But the persistence and consistency of that person will trump any fuck boy that comes into your life. Thank you.

  • @jdaniels109
    @jdaniels109 3 года назад +3

    Your so right after lock down I really hope people will start to truly appreciate things like the supermarket, shops and even you tube, people taking the time to try and help and advise,the time and trouble that has been put into just about everything in life that we all everyday take for granted thank you Matthew you ve helped me in so many ways xxx

  • @TheVoiceOfGlobe
    @TheVoiceOfGlobe 3 года назад +1

    I really needed to listen that. All my regrets have gone away.

  • @douglassmith215
    @douglassmith215 4 года назад +5

    I would say it’s the space mountains and the trash cans in a successful relationship. Definitely agree with the builders analogy - that is genius. So many see the potential and not build with you. But building with the right compatible match who’s blue prints match yours, is so much easier and much more enjoyable on the journey

  • @joannehenton4610
    @joannehenton4610 4 года назад +5

    Haven’t watched this guy for years - he’s awesome now

    • @n.8899
      @n.8899 3 года назад +1

      He was not awesome then? 🤔

  • @thecurrentmoment
    @thecurrentmoment 4 года назад +7

    I also think of it as like the fabric of life, as opposed to the logo (the highlights).
    You can focus on having a flashy logo, but paying attention to having quality fabric makes it last longer

  • @yoshiasha
    @yoshiasha 4 года назад +2

    WoW Matthew!! That is beautiful feedback about getting down to what's really real in human dynamics, and what has the most depth and meaning... raising everyone up is how we all get there eventually....

  • @Shannonmiller1793
    @Shannonmiller1793 3 года назад +3

    I was married for 20 yrs to someone who showed his true colors- a controlling manipulative person. It was hard and now I’m free! The man I’m with now I fell in love with him at first sight... it’s not bullshit! We have a son and are engaged :) just wanted to share guys♥️🤟🏻 I’ve never been this happy 😊

  • @galactickitty
    @galactickitty 4 года назад +13

    This blew my mind. I was left building the castle during my 7year marriage.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 3 года назад

      Hold on tight & bring a Cap't on

  • @Janz-jd1qd
    @Janz-jd1qd 3 года назад +4

    I love the castle analogy.....my prince constantly leaves the building! 🤣

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад

      How are you doing 😊😊😊👋☺️☺️

  • @succulentlife3343
    @succulentlife3343 2 года назад +1

    The best advice and so true! Reality and the basis of really loving someone.

  • @jennifergarfield9613
    @jennifergarfield9613 4 года назад +10

    The small things matter most.

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад +1

      How are you doing 😊😊👋☺️☺️

  • @manishapujari6465
    @manishapujari6465 4 года назад +1

    I really want to meet matthew one day as he seems intellectual person with deep knowledge who will always teach me something new

  • @thescentedbarbers3578
    @thescentedbarbers3578 4 года назад +12

    I thought the exact same thing about the bins in Disney World. And the fact that Disney world was designed so that you are never more than 6m away from one- because they cared that much about the park ☺️

    • @annaeverette8960
      @annaeverette8960 4 года назад

      Yes! The trash cans video is still my favourite.

  • @taniaioannou6507
    @taniaioannou6507 4 года назад +4

    Great analogy! Couldn't agree more! Thank you!

  • @kimgordon3695
    @kimgordon3695 4 года назад +2

    Creating the CASTLE!!! YES 💝

  • @Loverofartsandmusic
    @Loverofartsandmusic 4 года назад +2

    This was so true to me a year ago. I was waiting for this man to build the relationship but he was hot and cold. I should've walked away sooner.

  • @annepenaranda1287
    @annepenaranda1287 4 года назад +4

    I always do this to build a strong connection to a relationship...
    1.have a meaningful conversation..
    2. Show you care...
    3.give love...
    But it's nothing! Why?

    • @StorytellingHeadshots
      @StorytellingHeadshots 2 года назад

      Just be sure you leave room for someone to also do this for you. ❤️

  • @halhatha
    @halhatha 3 года назад +1

    Lewis, please get both Matthew and Stephan L on together, that would really be something special ❤️💙

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад

      How are you doing 😊😊👋☺️

  • @hollyrhodes6984
    @hollyrhodes6984 4 года назад +5

    Love how you’ve explained the core of relationships. The trash cans really connected with the understanding. Thank you! ❤️

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад +1

      How are you doing 😊😊👋☺️☺️

  • @benchawngthu1882
    @benchawngthu1882 2 года назад

    improving my english in listening to mathew's speech

  • @bigjro010
    @bigjro010 3 года назад +1

    This was deep.. trash cans and building a foundation really moved me.
    wish I heard this earlier.. how can u fix a situation of spiteful nd unforgotten comments??

  • @Maegonet
    @Maegonet 4 года назад +5

    He's amazing

  • @chriscristah9178
    @chriscristah9178 3 года назад +1

    True Love is acceptance and not expecting the other to be like oneself. With True Love both are builders and weather all the storms in life because we are a Sanctuary for one another yet feel like we can accomplish every heart desire and dreams together. Great Castle analogy! Sad to hear he doesn’t believe in “love at first sight”... it exists and you know when it happens because you realize how all other relationships were faint, shallow, a shadow counterfeit and a compromise of the real deal some get to experience as True Love.

  • @kimkolimas6818
    @kimkolimas6818 4 месяца назад

    Great analogy brick by brick…..

  • @sherryjameson2942
    @sherryjameson2942 4 года назад +2

    That was hilarious, your correlation with the trash cans!

  • @fionajeffs8558
    @fionajeffs8558 4 года назад

    Love the co-building your castle together! 😊🙏❤

  • @rorik.3842
    @rorik.3842 3 года назад

    I love the depth of this 💕

  • @gwendolyntorres1596
    @gwendolyntorres1596 4 года назад +4

    Love the trash can concept. I gauge the quality of a restaurant based on the level of care they put in the bathrooms! Hahaha.

    • @jdaniels109
      @jdaniels109 3 года назад

      My old teacher used to say "you can judge any place by the toilets" . ...xx

  • @readingsbycara
    @readingsbycara 3 года назад +1

    *Sooo good.*
    💯 👍 💜
    The plot of land is *just* potential.

    • @readingsbycara
      @readingsbycara 3 года назад +1

      #staywell everyone
      💚

    • @readingsbycara
      @readingsbycara 3 года назад +1

      Being in love 😍 versus *being happy.*
      ♥️

  • @tianiemitchell5692
    @tianiemitchell5692 4 года назад

    I agree with that statement regarding arguments or disagreements in order to come to some sort of standing or compromised or disagree to disagree you can't do it and attacking way or crew way you have to just focus on what it is you don't agree with or having issues with and stress why it affects you the way it does and see if you can't come to some sort of compromise

  • @RachyNoodleNest
    @RachyNoodleNest 4 года назад +6

    Wow, this shit is life changing. I'm having painful flash backs to, coincidentally, an Orlando holiday with my ex but at the end of day, he wasn't there when I just needed a god damn hug.
    I was always in love, the whole 7 years, up until the day he left, but my God, I was so sad.

  • @cafecomspoilers2426
    @cafecomspoilers2426 3 года назад +1

    BEST PART AT 7:00

  • @monikageczo
    @monikageczo 4 года назад

    This was perfect. Thank you so much.

  • @chriscristah9178
    @chriscristah9178 3 года назад

    Depends on a couples priorities together: We chose to have a happy marriage... to laugh, have fun and be happy every day together. When it came to occasional conflicts... My wife sometimes reminds me that she’s a happy person even though she’s not happy with something I need to make up for so I don’t get confused and need to build intimacy with her again.

  • @jolenewaller2754
    @jolenewaller2754 4 года назад

    So true... it made me think. Thank you!

  • @annaeverette8960
    @annaeverette8960 4 года назад +5

    "Like buying a castle?" xD (yeah I wish!)

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад

      How are you doing 😊😊👋☺️👋

  • @MARIAM_M_AYOUB
    @MARIAM_M_AYOUB 4 года назад +1

    Yes! Hands on!

  • @thecurrentmoment
    @thecurrentmoment 4 года назад

    Remembering the highlights is like watching the recap of a cricket match on the news lol
    Those are literally the only times anything actually happened in the whole game

  • @elsab5782
    @elsab5782 Год назад

    I always looked into the trash cans for men, now I realize in what context I should think about trash cans

  • @HansikaSilva
    @HansikaSilva 3 года назад

    now this, this was a good one

  • @aniab4306
    @aniab4306 3 года назад

    God I loved the video so much thankyou

  • @danianmaguiremusic
    @danianmaguiremusic 4 года назад

    Love his analogies

  • @melissareeder645
    @melissareeder645 4 года назад +1

    I love this !!!

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад

      How are you doing 😊😊👋☺️☺️

  • @nezuko_turtle3589
    @nezuko_turtle3589 3 года назад +1

    "Can it be half a$$ed" loved that💯

  • @abezacostafebus8614
    @abezacostafebus8614 4 года назад

    Good stuff👍

  • @margaretahogberg6869
    @margaretahogberg6869 4 года назад +1

    I loved All this he talked about.
    Thank You

  • @robert6833
    @robert6833 4 года назад

    Excellent!

  • @diamand28
    @diamand28 4 года назад

    Omg I can’t agree more!!

  • @valerielove9837
    @valerielove9837 4 года назад

    Yes there is such a thing as love at first site. Mathew Mconahy did. And others . Also marriages fall apart after 20 years. Why do you think?

  • @raqueldelrosario9754
    @raqueldelrosario9754 4 года назад

    Am I the only one who feels they are on a date. They can't stop looking and smiling to each other. I can imagined after their conversation. They both said. " I had a great time with you"

    • @thecurrentmoment
      @thecurrentmoment 4 года назад

      I think they are building a wonderful castle...

  • @nickir9253
    @nickir9253 3 года назад +1

    18 years I was building on my own.....

    • @bryanjason1980
      @bryanjason1980 3 года назад

      How are you doing 😊👋☺️☺️

  • @faezahjumahat4196
    @faezahjumahat4196 4 года назад

    Hi Matt Good Nights From Singapore! How Do You Knows When A Guy Or A Man Really Likes Or Adores A Woman If He Never Approach Or ConFess His True Feeling's To A Woman? How To Knows If He Is Shy, Quiet, Charming Or AwkWard To A Commited Relationship? Can A Guy Commit & Build A Family's In The Near Future's? What Does Loyalty Means To Hold On His Needs Versus His Wants Or His Expectations Really Get His On Mind Or Soul Or Heart? Will A Guy Takes Times To Trust A Woman If He Still Harbour Bad Or Hurt From His Previous Relationship And Will Not Get A Rebound To Be Able To Stays Together & Grows Together?

  • @abezacostafebus8614
    @abezacostafebus8614 4 года назад

    Thats word

  • @toenkiesgodlo-ndlwana908
    @toenkiesgodlo-ndlwana908 4 года назад +1

    Wow!!!

  • @mamasuzy79
    @mamasuzy79 4 года назад

    Yes!

  • @JoeMercersWay
    @JoeMercersWay 3 года назад

    see space mountain is terrifying for me. The highlight for me is sitting at the bottom of a ride with a candy floss...

  • @melissachinnici
    @melissachinnici 4 года назад +2

    Well I'm going out after this an buying a nice trashcan

  • @CCCC-tq8yo
    @CCCC-tq8yo 4 года назад +3

    I want a motor home

  • @tylermusgrave7007
    @tylermusgrave7007 3 года назад +3

    LOL. then he starts talking about trash cans LMAO, "they moved me"

  • @thecurrentmoment
    @thecurrentmoment 4 года назад

    What if one person does all the timbers and one person does all the bricks and they complain "but *I* did all the bricklaying! You did none of it!"

  • @wendycordova5943
    @wendycordova5943 3 года назад +1

    It’s the faking trash cans duuuuudddes... lol

  • @annemann9134
    @annemann9134 4 года назад +2

    Build your doors narrow...windows high and narrow...plenty of evergreens...fruit tree orchard...fig trees...grapevines...cover all wiring in metal tubing to keep rodents from chewing it and starting a fire...

    • @ibrahimhamada5751
      @ibrahimhamada5751 4 года назад

      Hello anne how are you today im ibrahim from egypt and im 36 years old i admire for your comment and It really thrills me to see a beautiful and adorable woman like you with such an amazing smile, I really would love to learn more about you but that is if you don't mind sending me a friend request.thank🌹😍❤️👍🇪🇬

    • @annemann9134
      @annemann9134 4 года назад

      @@ibrahimhamada5751 I do not mind a friend request

    • @annemann9134
      @annemann9134 4 года назад

      I am a nurse...commercial artist...studied mechanical drafting also

    • @ibrahimhamada5751
      @ibrahimhamada5751 4 года назад

      @@annemann9134 can you get to know each other for what's up

    • @annemann9134
      @annemann9134 4 года назад

      @@ibrahimhamada5751 clarify...are you meant ng whatsapp

  • @crystalanamericaninsicily
    @crystalanamericaninsicily 4 года назад +1

    Laugh about the same things. That's the Foundation. Ying has to find it's Yang.

  • @kenyattadavis6411
    @kenyattadavis6411 3 года назад

    #trashcans

  • @carolj7586
    @carolj7586 3 года назад

    혼자 살자

  • @yagbute3617
    @yagbute3617 4 года назад +1

    So I was right...relationships are trash 🗑

  • @rdogs8312
    @rdogs8312 4 года назад

    Just me or someone farted at the beginning???