One thing I've learned as a single woman is to not be afraid to fail. Men aren't the only ones who face rejection, so you gotta learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
It’s not a sex thing. Everyone goes through rejection with people, jobs, and everything. Life is a reflection of our inner selves how we respond to it is what makes or breaks something.
As a women I don't understand how so many women apparently never approach guys and still end up having a dating life... The majority of guys I ended up with I approacheded myself lol
@Gabriella Ross its all right, I learned long ago it is more important to earn money, rather than to love. It used to be painful, now I feel nothing at all.
Yeah I get that feeling. Finding love isn't easy. I think that it isn't that love will find you... It's that most people look for love the wrong way. Too often we look for love in other people. Really the hard part is finding what we love about ourselves and making it easier for others to love that about us too. That sounds cheesey, so maybe it can be said another way: If we start by spending time on our passions and improving on ourselves, then we'll become more attractive. We'll end up enjoying our lives, which in itself is attractive, and not worrying about finding someone else to validate us, which has an odor of desperation and often repels healthy individuals. No one says it's easy. Only that it's worth the effort.
I love that he said that "Not all women are the same" Thank you. Someone please tell the manosphere that. There is more to how a woman thinks and feels than just a woman's nature. There is culture, religion, and regions that influence how a woman will thinks or acts. And individual personality is the most important. Matthew is a smart man.
@@Sputnik-03 The only women that say men are the same are bitter feminists. And whenever I've read a woman say something stupid like that, she gets jumped on by other women. Women are not afraid to disagree with each other. Men in the manosphere can be followers. Women love to argue with each other. So I have never read a woman say something as stupid as "All men are liars, cheaters, pigs" without a dozen other women flaming her. And in real life, I'd think nothing of disagreeing with a woman who said that. Both men and women need to stop judging the opposite sex based on their own bad decisions and choices. If a woman thinks all men are liars and pigs, then that says something about HER and her bad judgement. Same goes for men. There is no womansphere. There are feminists and traditional women on opposite sides always fighting each other. And feminism is cancer. But I see the manosphere as the man's version of feminism. Nothing but toxic negativity and telling each other, "Oh it's not you. It's them. " Same shit feminists do to each other. If all you are attracting is toxic people, the problem is you. Any therapist would tell you that after you spend a few thousand dollars.
@@zsuzsuspetals that is so true. It's ourselves who decide what type of people we surround ourselves with. And there are 'good' and 'bad' people of all genders, races or cultures.
Nobody is the same regardless of gender, which is why he merely is generalising and summising if's and maybe's that will often not apply, he was never an expert only a spokesman who never quit creating content and repeating hish thoughts on dysfunctional dating. Notice how many stories he makes up, none real or evidence based.
I love the “dropping the handkerchief” concept. I saw my boyfriend sitting at the bar before i met him and decided to just sit next time him. We’ve been together since then.
Always helpful to hear advice from someone on matters of the heart who doesn't believe in the soul. The heart is fickle, shallow, changeable, but the soul is the stuff that makes for lasting relationships. The heart is situationally ethical, it's says if you love someone you treat them well. And when you don't love them anymore, oh well whatever. Meanwhile, the soul says treat everyone well, always. I look back on my life and I know that the people who truly loved me, who I truly loved were the ones who loved everyone and I was blessed with the chance to stand near them.
I think the phrase be yourself is basically about being your best self. You know, be as close as you can to the seven-year-old kid you used to be. After all, you were most fully yourself at that age than any other time in your life. As Heraclitus said, 'We are most fully ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of a child at play."
I always feel that if a guy is coming up to me comfortably, then he's doing the same with other women, and I don't feel special, also he's a riskier option for a loyal relationship
Shes kind of got a point though I dont agree it's a good reason to turn the person away. I just think it's worth keeping in mind if he seems like a pro hes probably had a lot of practice. And that COULD be because they are a player.
@@joerasiah3519 I think that's the case sometimes, maybe even mostly. But some girls also like shy guys and think they are cute..there are definetly guys that like shy girls or I'd probably never have had a boyfriend before lol. Asking someone out can be awkward for both parties, so it helps in general to be as confident as u can about it..
Louise...so what you are saying is that just because a man is confident that he might leave you? I am sorry but It tells me that you yourselve are insecure and therefore look for insecure man who might be afraid of leaving you. Every person out there deserves the best and a man who hasnt got his shit together isnt really something any woman should deserve.
I've been following Matthew for years now because I do like some of the suggestions he gives. But this section of this video really turned me off. I appreciate that he doesn't believe in Soulmates or the Law of Attraction, but he doesn't need to judge it as bad or wrong. And it's absolutely NOT a lazy response to tell someone to just be themselves. I FINALLY just learned how to fully be myself and truly love myself. Being myself is accepting and appreciating all of me and not buying into the negative thoughts or subconscious patterns that had me dating unavailable men. And, I'm also shocked that Lewis didn't assist Matthew in shifting his awareness to these things because he's all about being the greatest version of yourself. He just sat there agreeing with him 😔🤦🏼
There are multiple ones, there is no single 'one' for you. It absurd to think like this, because then you've got one shot to make it work and if you blow it, you blow it.
I think he means that without thought or direction it is lazy advice-and for some, and he said this, it’s an excuse not to progress and just be who you are as you currently are. I personally feel we should all strive to grow into the truth of who we are, which includes our potential.
If you ask me, I don't care if he is single or married what he says makes sense. Not all men are the same, but he gives good guidelines, so you don't possibly mess-up a connection with someone you like. Sometimes when he asks women questions it makes me think in a different way. "Well, gee, why do I feel this way" or "Wow, I never thought about that".
at 3 minute mark on "being yourself is lazy," I think "be yourself " is the acknowledgment of the fact that you are a dynamic, adapting, ever changing human being. Being yourself means showing who you are, regardless of the season of change you are in. To show your most authentic self, risk being vulnerable, and also to think before you speak, as well as listen to the other person - that is not lazy at all, in fact, it is quite the opposite and takes concerted effort if you understand what being yourself truly means. I take it as the above. I am responsible for me, and I evaluate my values, beliefs, goals, etc.. on a consistent basis. Your relationship with yourself takes effort, so why would relationships with others be any different? There's a difference in doing good work , and staying in a relationship where you are constantly battling - it's exhausting, and many times that type of a relationship spins into a toxic dance that does not result in growth for either person involved.
This was a great video! Love the advice to make a subtle first move. And the description of the bar scene was an excellent illustration of the art of flirtation! Fantastic job, guys!
I can vouch. If being oneself worked, there would be no need for dating advice, PUAs would not be able to charge money, and Match would be out of business.
Well First of all I have to say I am a huge Hussey fan and follower, you are like my guideline as for relationships and talking to men. And I get your point of being more comprehensive and tolerant towards making the first move. However, I’ve been this “nice girl” making the first move and then suddenly guys that acted interested pull the “ I had no idea I thought we are just friends” or “Its complicated” or “ I meet other girls , I am not sure I want a relationship”... card.... so how do you explain that? The only reason I see is again the cliche “ if he is interested he will be there for you and make the first move” . Men want you to be the one to approach some times but every time I do this...they pull away. 🤷🏻♀️ I get positive response from men when I act disrespectful and b*chy, and I refuse to create a relationship based on those values. So I stay single and lost🤷🏻♀️😑
Do you only make the first move, or also the second, third,...? And how do you react when the man doesn't behave as you would like him to treat you? I think there could be your answers. Hope this helps :)
@@elachi92 thank you very much for this comment, I really had some thoughts about it since I first read it but wanted to give it some time to evaluate and put into practice. It made me take awareness and improve my response to the situation. Still single though😂 however..improved version single. Thank you!!!
I am going to challenge you on “being yourself” remark as being lazy. Learning to “be myself” has been a journey of self-discovery. I have experienced perfectionism trauma and was always worried about what people thought of me and wondered if I was doing the right or wrong thing. The great part of “being yourself,” brings the unique qualities and perceptions that one can bring to an experience, solution to a problem, or having enough empathy to help someone understand that they aren’t alone. The perception of “being yourself,” also helps people know that who they are and what they have to offer is enough. Change is inevitable. That is how we evolve as people, through experience. By “being yourself,” doesn’t mean that we can’t look through different lenses, adapt to new ideas, or step outside of our comfort zone.
True Erin , but he just says: its Lazy advice. he actually says: its not Enough. (also, itsVery hard coz being yourself , You Change , people change) Of course a person need to be " his/herself" So, just to give you a it of relief :)
Thank you for this... really great to get the back story on the emergence of "Matthew Hussey". Always loved the principles he promotes and love even more understanding where they've emerged from... great to having that insight into the human. Thank you!
Oh my.. This guy is amazing. Would love to meet him in person. He definitely knows what he is talking about. I've had a lot of "Ohhh" moments when watching his videos.
Hello to whom it may concern I can recomend you to someone that helped me restore back my broken relationship, he helped me get my ex back and I believe he can also help you too
I seem to attract only narcissist, damaged abusers 💔 😍Where have you been all by life - gentlemanly, genuine, capable of REAL honest vulnerable communication - Matthew??
Funny thing, I was literally thinking the same thing about the Law of Attraction fans, even before I heard him say it, even though this video has nothing to do with LOA. I so much can't relate to the crowds around this type of stuff. I like a number of concepts around Law of Attraction, but the people flocking around it are incredibly weird and loud and hysterical. The cult-like treatment of gurus and entrepreneurs is hugely problematic, and by the way it's something real entrepreneurs regect themselves (despite the social media pages who prey on this type of interaction). Real leaders don't thirst for other people's attention and for others worshipping them, as Matthew demonstrates with his demeanor, because he sure looks like a very balanced person who grew up a lot during the years since I first saw him.
I agree. While the LOA on its own is actually pretty interesting and if it works for some people I'm.not one to judge. But I have come across people who've become a bit bonkers on it. I think it's to with everything being excessive. You do things excessively and things turn weird.
@@amnajaved6894 I feel like it's because some people look at it as a way to cheat the system, be better than others, feel superior to others, live only to acquire stuff, etc. You can't be happy with that attitude, not *really* happy, and that's the whole point. And also, the authors. There are hundreds of popular book authors and gurus who proclaim LOA, and everyone adds their twist to it. Many with the intention of making you feel you will be better than others if you follow their version of LOA. I've read some books when I was little and they were all about making magic and being smarter than others, that's how it felt. Kind of repulsive.
The original Law of Attraction comes from Hicks, from what I know. Their message seems clearer to me. Not that it doesn't work, it's that we don't work on it. The issue is, the habit of thinking negatively, of trying to fix issues while focusing on them, those are far more prevalent than even understanding a good message said in a plain way.
I love this advice about “dropping the handkerchief”. However, what happens with progressive (or burned) men who get resentful with women who ask them for anything because to them it’s a sign of weakness or dependency?
That is because most of us men have jobs out in the "wild". Not everyone was out of work during this pandemic. Notice roads getting paved? Contractors remodeling houses and businesses? I noticed alot of men out there. As for me, working in construction, my line of work has not skipped a beat. Course by the time I get home, it's late and I'm exhausted and in no mood to mingle.
@Matthew (if you are reading this): I don't know why I keep attracting losers and the occasional creepy guy. I've heard people telling me all my life: "youre so intelligent and attractive and insightful." So Why is this happening? Why can't I attract somebody as intelligent (if not more because that does not intimdate me) who is a "winner" and ambitious and who puts action behind the ambiton? Or a world traveller?
Omg can't agree more! Been here for 4 years and yes definitely saw that trend. I think it also has to do with British men being more private about their feelings.
Plus with all of the #METOO garbage, and false rape allegations, is it any wonder why more and more men are taking their red pills and walking away? In Nottinghamshire, England, it is actually illegal for men to approach women. The UK is totally fucked.
There is no Template for everybody. We are all still different and paradoxically the same at the end of every day. No piece of advice applies to everyone. It’s like Fitness, no singular “Diet” applies or works for each individual.
Matthew I have been following your work for some years now, and I've noticed something that is missing from your work as a coach, you don't focus on self-love or self development, as in giving advice to women that they should work on themselves before looking for love. Not every woman who has a job and is independent in every way is ready for love. She can be so successful, but when it comes down to her own self-esteem, her own feeling of worth, she lacks on it, that's why many woman get attracted to the wrong kind of guy. Life is not telling the guy the right words, the right formulated sentence, or playing the right game or tactics and then you can get him. It's way deeper than that. And as a woman who has a diploma in cognitive therapy I can tell you, that the principals of law of attraction is similar or a simplified law of what cognitive therapy stands for = working on your thoughts, your emotions and learning how to deal with your life = coping with life. I used to follow you, but I stopped, not that I anything against you, but I like to work on myself on a deeper level. I now follow Psykologist who talks more about attachment style and how to heal, express yourself from your own needs and feelings, rather saying the right words so not to scare the guy away 😉 Wish you the best ❤️
Well said. I totally agree. Do find his points interesting though but what you’re saying will constitute to a healthy long term relationship rather than some step by step attraction script. I’m with you on this one.
These are not missing from his work. He has whole courses (retreat) focusing on confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. But you can't expect to get everything for free.
@@vmagika my point is not about getting things for free. It's about his perspective and fokus in everything he speaks about in the social media and in interviews - focus on the right words to say to a man. If he talks about more about psychological themes such as attachment style that has a lot of effect on your relations to others in your adult life, he wouldn't even give something away, because it's such a deep topic that it's hard to give something away for free. It takes at least 6 months of inner work to even shift your way of thinking to handling your life.
That’s not the problem crating a discussion. How do I find out if he has a girlfriend ? Don’t want to get embarrassed while I am flirting and he says suddenly I have a girlfriend .
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
The relationship im in feels really risky We've known each other for 3 years on and off and she really likes me But i feel she doesnt express it enough but she used to write about how she felt about me a lot. But feel like she questions the relatio ship Ive talked to her about it and she says she wants this relationship She was a mess a few months when we lost contact for a few months but now she seems to be getting better Im practically living with her Am i being to emotional about how much i feel for her or should i not be thinking about it to much?
Sounds like you're codependent and simping with this one. A good rule I've heard is never to commit more than the other is committing as well. And, in fact, if they don't commit, move on. Never waste your life on someone not as interested in you as you are in them. Another great advice I've heard is to only get physically involved that matches the level of commitment. This is from a couples therapist based on data. Basically, from a social / emotional / mental health standpoint, people should only get 100% physical if theyre on a marriage track or married. That therapist says statistically &ex before marriage isn't significant to the success of a relationship and each person's mental healrh but it is if it's done without that level of mutual commitment. Also, words don't matter here - actions speak louder than words - don't listen to what they say, watch what they DO. And what she's doing is stringing you along but more importantly, you're letting her. She can't do that if you don't let her by ending things and moving on. Sounds like you don't have enough self respect to be happy and feel whole as a single person and or believe in and go after the qualities in a person that you really want and are best for you. So develop your self respect so you don't just give it a way for someone to use, to the first person who pays you any attention, no matter how half a&&ed it is and how many irresponsible problems they have, that what make you feel important and "needed"? etc. This is a one sided, non committal relationship for her - and self serving for her - and maybe for you too - maybe it seems like more work for you to be either single and or develop yourself so you have what the person you really want is looking for too. If you are still in this "relationship", you have to ask yourself why and what you're getting out of it. You're in it by choice so why are you choosing it? Figure that out then choose something else / what is healthier / better / what you really need / want in a person instead and end this (if you haven't already).
I like this guy and agree with most of the things he says but if a girl in a bar or anywhere says “omg it’s so busy in here. It must be your big shoulders”, and pushes me (even gently) I’d get pissed and confused.......unless she was hot. Seriously touching or pushing anyone is a STRONG flirty move, but strong doesn’t always mean good. If he’s not interested in you or he’s not desperate, then you already fucked up. Not everyone can get away with this move obviously. You’d be naive if you think this move works for everyone hahahahhah
My mum was 21 years old when four men turned up at her home at the same time to ask her out. Each man sat there waiting for the other man to leave. My mum was living at home and it was in the late 1940s. People met through friends and family ,at dances and balls. Men had to work hard at winning a woman . There was no pre marital sex. Or at least you would first have to be engaged Men knew the woman who slept around and passed them around. I think the sexual revolution in the 60s changed everything. My mum said it’s not woman’s freedom it’s now mens. So I think it’s become much harder now for woman to find a man who wants to commit for the long term.. Look up the commitment on the internet . It’s all about how to get a man to commit and not the other way around. As the saying goes woman are the gate keepers to sex and men are the gate keepers to commitment. If woman united world wide and stopped making it so easy for men to get sex then men would have to try harder. It’s probably as simple as that.
Basically, women expect that a man makes a move. yet the guy can not read the mind of a woman and know if she is single. and she has to read his mind about whether he is single.
I don’t like that he takes as a reference period his teenager years as a prove that’s useless to be a gentleman cause girls or guys At that time clearly can’t understand & appreciate that. Offer that kind of treatment to mature girls/women and they’ll know to appreciate that.
I think he was merely saying he was brought up that way by his mother. As for being a gentleman with women, it is obviously not enough, it has to be paired with another quality from the beginning, for example being humorous or adventurous and being a gentleman, than a woman might find this man immediatly interesting and want to know more about him. A lot more exiting than just being polite. Don't you agree ?
Like a complete unknown / Like a rolling stone absolutely. Politeness alone is just manners we all should be brought up with. Rest is a matter of personality traits that makes us interesting & attractive to someone.
I can agree that high school may not be relevant, but I think if many of us are honest with ourselves (obviously not everyone), the reason we need his videos is because we are attracted to men who aren’t gentleman initially then want him to become a gentleman once in a proper relationship
disney girl great you mentioned that. If a person (man or woman) starts a relationship with the thought to change that person further in the relationship, then it’s 100% doomed to fail. Because that’s a completely wrong approach. Or you accept the person as he/she is when you enter thy relationship, or you move on and wait for the person that you’ll like fully. And another point “bad guys”, psychologically women’s desire to tame them comes from the “mother syndrome “, once a women understands and goes away from these 2 unhealthy models she’ll become much more successful in her personal life.
Cristina Cernei I’ll look at mothers syndrome,; that’s a new one for me lol. Who knows, maybe it’ll allow for some introspection. I personally don’t believe in changing a man, but I want to prove to myself I am worthwhile by gaining the care of someone who doesn’t care easily (messed up I know. I think it’s because I’m insecure and need reassurance). Anyways, thanks for the new term!
hi, i walked up to a girl said hi, i'm robert, there's something about you that told me i just had to say hi, to you and ask you what your name is. She straight face looked at me said "is that your best line" I said no, i'm just talking to you. She walked away, did i say the wrong thing? if she walks away, it's over, i don't go back to her?
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately...
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Not sure how you know all this as until you reach your 50 s you haven't really experienced everything there is to know !!!!! I clean 5 hours a day i don't make you tube videos.....very strange times we are now living in !!!!!
Wait a minute..Matthew is 27?? I seriously had to check when this video was made because I thought this was done several years ago. I literally thought he was at least 32 or 33. I've been following his videos since 2015! I'm still in shock.....He just made a statement referring to the year 2015..so maybe this is a past clip?
Matt I know a person who commit a lot of sin infeddelity unfaithdulness or wreck a family now she gonna be single forever she’s a lesbian from Hongkong
Mathew doesn’t practice or ‘believe’ in The Law of Attraction??? Wow, I’m totally shocked by that honestly. Very smart and clever man that I would just assume was knowledgeable to something so powerful and truly life changing! The LOA is ancient, before Christ even so it’s common knowledge with Science AND spirituality to back it up so with Science/Quantum Physics backing it up I’d think it’s safe to say, The LOA is very much practical sense Matthew. Anyhoo, I love you still!!! 💞🥰😘
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
One thing I've learned as a single woman is to not be afraid to fail. Men aren't the only ones who face rejection, so you gotta learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
Yes! 👌
This reminds me of Jocko Willink's "Good" speech.
It’s not a sex thing. Everyone goes through rejection with people, jobs, and everything. Life is a reflection of our inner selves how we respond to it is what makes or breaks something.
As a women I don't understand how so many women apparently never approach guys and still end up having a dating life... The majority of guys I ended up with I approacheded myself lol
@@JustLIkerapunzel true that
The saying I hate the most is don’t go looking for love, love will find you when you least expect it.
I just might be the hide and seek world champion. It's been decades and it still hasn't found me.
@Gabriella Ross its all right,
I learned long ago it is more important to earn money, rather than to love.
It used to be painful, now I feel nothing at all.
tailgunner2 lmao. Took me a while but same lessons learned.
Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you a trip or things that will make you happy 😅
Yeah I get that feeling. Finding love isn't easy.
I think that it isn't that love will find you... It's that most people look for love the wrong way.
Too often we look for love in other people. Really the hard part is finding what we love about ourselves and making it easier for others to love that about us too. That sounds cheesey, so maybe it can be said another way:
If we start by spending time on our passions and improving on ourselves, then we'll become more attractive.
We'll end up enjoying our lives, which in itself is attractive, and not worrying about finding someone else to validate us, which has an odor of desperation and often repels healthy individuals.
No one says it's easy. Only that it's worth the effort.
Infinite; true. That all Hollywood and media BS.
I love that he said that "Not all women are the same" Thank you. Someone please tell the manosphere that. There is more to how a woman thinks and feels than just a woman's nature. There is culture, religion, and regions that influence how a woman will thinks or acts. And individual personality is the most important.
Matthew is a smart man.
@@Sputnik-03 The only women that say men are the same are bitter feminists. And whenever I've read a woman say something stupid like that, she gets jumped on by other women. Women are not afraid to disagree with each other. Men in the manosphere can be followers. Women love to argue with each other. So I have never read a woman say something as stupid as "All men are liars, cheaters, pigs" without a dozen other women flaming her. And in real life, I'd think nothing of disagreeing with a woman who said that.
Both men and women need to stop judging the opposite sex based on their own bad decisions and choices. If a woman thinks all men are liars and pigs, then that says something about HER and her bad judgement. Same goes for men.
There is no womansphere. There are feminists and traditional women on opposite sides always fighting each other. And feminism is cancer. But I see the manosphere as the man's version of feminism. Nothing but toxic negativity and telling each other, "Oh it's not you. It's them. " Same shit feminists do to each other. If all you are attracting is toxic people, the problem is you. Any therapist would tell you that after you spend a few thousand dollars.
I knew that
@@zsuzsuspetals that is so true. It's ourselves who decide what type of people we surround ourselves with. And there are 'good' and 'bad' people of all genders, races or cultures.
As a male who been watching alot of manosphere, its getting stale listening to the same onesided bitter arguments
Nobody is the same regardless of gender, which is why he merely is generalising and summising if's and maybe's that will often not apply, he was never an expert only a spokesman who never quit creating content and repeating hish thoughts on dysfunctional dating. Notice how many stories he makes up, none real or evidence based.
I love the “dropping the handkerchief” concept. I saw my boyfriend sitting at the bar before i met him and decided to just sit next time him. We’ve been together since then.
Always helpful to hear advice from someone on matters of the heart who doesn't believe in the soul. The heart is fickle, shallow, changeable, but the soul is the stuff that makes for lasting relationships. The heart is situationally ethical, it's says if you love someone you treat them well. And when you don't love them anymore, oh well whatever. Meanwhile, the soul says treat everyone well, always. I look back on my life and I know that the people who truly loved me, who I truly loved were the ones who loved everyone and I was blessed with the chance to stand near them.
I think the phrase be yourself is basically about being your best self. You know, be as close as you can to the seven-year-old kid you used to be. After all, you were most fully yourself at that age than any other time in your life. As Heraclitus said, 'We are most fully ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of a child at play."
You again with your inner child. You heard the guy, it's cliché and lazy. He doesn't want to be associated with it. lol
Being yourself is great advice for long term relationships because u can’t fake it forever right? Lol
I love the questions asked and the way in which they were being expressed.
I always feel that if a guy is coming up to me comfortably, then he's doing the same with other women, and I don't feel special, also he's a riskier option for a loyal relationship
So he should be nervous? Then it's just weird...
What? Thats weird
Shes kind of got a point though I dont agree it's a good reason to turn the person away. I just think it's worth keeping in mind if he seems like a pro hes probably had a lot of practice. And that COULD be because they are a player.
@@joerasiah3519 I think that's the case sometimes, maybe even mostly. But some girls also like shy guys and think they are cute..there are definetly guys that like shy girls or I'd probably never have had a boyfriend before lol. Asking someone out can be awkward for both parties, so it helps in general to be as confident as u can about it..
Louise...so what you are saying is that just because a man is confident that he might leave you? I am sorry but It tells me that you yourselve are insecure and therefore look for insecure man who might be afraid of leaving you. Every person out there deserves the best and a man who hasnt got his shit together isnt really something any woman should deserve.
Woman drops handkerchief and man stops Dead in his tracks...
This is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man! ” lmao love that
*woman drops handkerchief* *man picks up handkerchief and keeps it* lol
Matthew is only 27yo?! I thought he is much older than that! I though he’s already in his 30s!
This is an old video that Lewis is sharing again!
Emily Giuffre' oh...I see. Thanks for the info!
He's 33 years old now. But yeah thought it was weird at first too lol
I can't. Believe this video is 6 years old! 😐
For a second I was like how is he younger than me!
On the other hand these advice are the reason some men think you're hitting on them when you ask them about something you need.
I've been following Matthew for years now because I do like some of the suggestions he gives. But this section of this video really turned me off. I appreciate that he doesn't believe in Soulmates or the Law of Attraction, but he doesn't need to judge it as bad or wrong. And it's absolutely NOT a lazy response to tell someone to just be themselves. I FINALLY just learned how to fully be myself and truly love myself. Being myself is accepting and appreciating all of me and not buying into the negative thoughts or subconscious patterns that had me dating unavailable men. And, I'm also shocked that Lewis didn't assist Matthew in shifting his awareness to these things because he's all about being the greatest version of yourself. He just sat there agreeing with him 😔🤦🏼
Same. A large number of lewis guests do talk about law of attraction or at least know all about it.
🎯
Millenial alert !!
There are multiple ones, there is no single 'one' for you. It absurd to think like this, because then you've got one shot to make it work and if you blow it, you blow it.
I think he means that without thought or direction it is lazy advice-and for some, and he said this, it’s an excuse not to progress and just be who you are as you currently are. I personally feel we should all strive to grow into the truth of who we are, which includes our potential.
If you ask me, I don't care if he is single or married what he says makes sense. Not all men are the same, but he gives good guidelines, so you don't possibly mess-up a connection with someone you like. Sometimes when he asks women questions it makes me think in a different way. "Well, gee, why do I feel this way" or "Wow, I never thought about that".
"Be yourself" means don't try to be what you think other people want you to be.
Underrated comment ever!! In fact I'm gonna screen shot it
at 3 minute mark on "being yourself is lazy," I think "be yourself " is the acknowledgment of the fact that you are a dynamic, adapting, ever changing human being. Being yourself means showing who you are, regardless of the season of change you are in. To show your most authentic self, risk being vulnerable, and also to think before you speak, as well as listen to the other person - that is not lazy at all, in fact, it is quite the opposite and takes concerted effort if you understand what being yourself truly means. I take it as the above. I am responsible for me, and I evaluate my values, beliefs, goals, etc.. on a consistent basis. Your relationship with yourself takes effort, so why would relationships with others be any different? There's a difference in doing good work , and staying in a relationship where you are constantly battling - it's exhausting, and many times that type of a relationship spins into a toxic dance that does not result in growth for either person involved.
This was a great video! Love the advice to make a subtle first move. And the description of the bar scene was an excellent illustration of the art of flirtation! Fantastic job, guys!
Be yourself is not bad...it means dont be fake...because your true character will eventually show up later on.
Nah it's obvious, so lazy advice
I can vouch.
If being oneself worked, there would be no need for dating advice, PUAs would not be able to charge money, and Match would be out of business.
Well First of all I have to say I am a huge Hussey fan and follower, you are like my guideline as for relationships and talking to men. And I get your point of being more comprehensive and tolerant towards making the first move. However, I’ve been this “nice girl” making the first move and then suddenly guys that acted interested pull the “ I had no idea I thought we are just friends” or “Its complicated” or “ I meet other girls , I am not sure I want a relationship”... card.... so how do you explain that? The only reason I see is again the cliche “ if he is interested he will be there for you and make the first move” . Men want you to be the one to approach some times but every time I do this...they pull away. 🤷🏻♀️ I get positive response from men when I act disrespectful and b*chy, and I refuse to create a relationship based on those values. So I stay single and lost🤷🏻♀️😑
Do you only make the first move, or also the second, third,...?
And how do you react when the man doesn't behave as you would like him to treat you?
I think there could be your answers. Hope this helps :)
Men love crazy women! And drama! They say they dont but really, they do!
@@elachi92 thank you very much for this comment, I really had some thoughts about it since I first read it but wanted to give it some time to evaluate and put into practice. It made me take awareness and improve my response to the situation. Still single though😂 however..improved version single. Thank you!!!
@@ahmobile5795 I mean...😂 straight to the point and so true...thank you! It made me laugh so much and feel understood. Very wise!! Thanks again!!
Are you the sister of Vladimir?
It just seems like games honestly...I think it just happens without all these mind games..
People evolve...GREAT GREAT COMMENT
I am going to challenge you on “being yourself” remark as being lazy. Learning to “be myself” has been a journey of self-discovery. I have experienced perfectionism trauma and was always worried about what people thought of me and wondered if I was doing the right or wrong thing. The great part of “being yourself,” brings the unique qualities and perceptions that one can bring to an experience, solution to a problem, or having enough empathy to help someone understand that they aren’t alone. The perception of “being yourself,” also helps people know that who they are and what they have to offer is enough. Change is inevitable. That is how we evolve as people, through experience. By “being yourself,” doesn’t mean that we can’t look through different lenses, adapt to new ideas, or step outside of our comfort zone.
True Erin , but he just says: its Lazy advice. he actually says: its not Enough. (also, itsVery hard coz being yourself , You Change , people change) Of course a person need to be " his/herself" So, just to give you a it of relief :)
I knew the handkerchief metaphor would make it in this
Thank you for this... really great to get the back story on the emergence of "Matthew Hussey". Always loved the principles he promotes and love even more understanding where they've emerged from... great to having that insight into the human. Thank you!
This is much better info that I hear coming from Matthew. He's about 90% spot on. There are a few things I'd change but this is. Very accurate!
Oh my.. This guy is amazing. Would love to meet him in person. He definitely knows what he is talking about. I've had a lot of "Ohhh" moments when watching his videos.
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Appreciate stumbling across this, some great tips 😊👍
OK, How can I ‘drop a handkerchief’ in an online world? Any cool lines?
swipe...right?
This was recorded in2015.
10:07
I seem to attract only narcissist, damaged abusers 💔
😍Where have you been all by life - gentlemanly, genuine, capable of REAL honest vulnerable communication - Matthew??
Lol me too what's wrong with me 😭
Maybe because you're only attracted to them 😂😂
i know when guys are nervous but even when i help them they're still scared so nothing moves x)
Funny thing, I was literally thinking the same thing about the Law of Attraction fans, even before I heard him say it, even though this video has nothing to do with LOA. I so much can't relate to the crowds around this type of stuff. I like a number of concepts around Law of Attraction, but the people flocking around it are incredibly weird and loud and hysterical. The cult-like treatment of gurus and entrepreneurs is hugely problematic, and by the way it's something real entrepreneurs regect themselves (despite the social media pages who prey on this type of interaction). Real leaders don't thirst for other people's attention and for others worshipping them, as Matthew demonstrates with his demeanor, because he sure looks like a very balanced person who grew up a lot during the years since I first saw him.
I agree. While the LOA on its own is actually pretty interesting and if it works for some people I'm.not one to judge. But I have come across people who've become a bit bonkers on it. I think it's to with everything being excessive. You do things excessively and things turn weird.
@@amnajaved6894 I feel like it's because some people look at it as a way to cheat the system, be better than others, feel superior to others, live only to acquire stuff, etc. You can't be happy with that attitude, not *really* happy, and that's the whole point. And also, the authors. There are hundreds of popular book authors and gurus who proclaim LOA, and everyone adds their twist to it. Many with the intention of making you feel you will be better than others if you follow their version of LOA. I've read some books when I was little and they were all about making magic and being smarter than others, that's how it felt. Kind of repulsive.
The original Law of Attraction comes from Hicks, from what I know. Their message seems clearer to me. Not that it doesn't work, it's that we don't work on it. The issue is, the habit of thinking negatively, of trying to fix issues while focusing on them, those are far more prevalent than even understanding a good message said in a plain way.
Couldn't agree more.
Um. Definitely don't ask a stranger to hold your drink in a bar. Not safe at all.
He suggested to ask the guy to hold her jacket so she could give her friends thier drinks, not for the stranger to hold the drink
I love this advice about “dropping the handkerchief”. However, what happens with progressive (or burned) men who get resentful with women who ask them for anything because to them it’s a sign of weakness or dependency?
Would u rly want a chance to date a guy like that
Let them go. Don’t you want someone who will help you?
So many of these will work if you’re meeting someone in person. It’s so hard to meet quality men in the “wild” anymore 😕
That is because most of us men have jobs out in the "wild".
Not everyone was out of work during this pandemic.
Notice roads getting paved?
Contractors remodeling houses and businesses? I noticed alot of men out there.
As for me, working in construction, my line of work has not skipped a beat. Course by the time I get home, it's late and I'm exhausted and in no mood to mingle.
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That’s not what I need but thanks Shaka.
Men like you are rare
@Matthew (if you are reading this): I don't know why I keep attracting losers and the occasional creepy guy. I've heard people telling me all my life: "youre so intelligent and attractive and insightful."
So Why is this happening? Why can't I attract somebody as intelligent (if not more because that does not intimdate me) who is a "winner" and ambitious and who puts action behind the ambiton? Or a world traveller?
You wrote exactly what my situation is. But don’t let it keep you from Being Happy on your own :)
I think people do change with their relationships, because we are always growing and wanting to learn how to make our love ❤️ lives better.
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Yeah dropping the freakin handkerchief doesn’t work in london ... most British guys are way too awkward and polite to take an opportunity to flirt
Omg can't agree more! Been here for 4 years and yes definitely saw that trend. I think it also has to do with British men being more private about their feelings.
Yes!!! can we please create a self help group for this? LOL
@@anetak.9494 haha yes! I like you’re thinking !
Yes I agree British people culturally are very conservative and socially awkward unlike the Europeans, Spanish Italians.
Plus with all of the #METOO garbage, and false rape allegations, is it any wonder why more and more men are taking their red pills and walking away? In Nottinghamshire, England, it is actually illegal for men to approach women. The UK is totally fucked.
There is no Template for everybody. We are all still different and paradoxically the same at the end of every day. No piece of advice applies to everyone. It’s like Fitness, no singular “Diet” applies or works for each individual.
God I really like these videos.they are super helpful👍😍
Some women are more social confident than others. Learning how to flirt.
Matthew I have been following your work for some years now, and I've noticed something that is missing from your work as a coach, you don't focus on self-love or self development, as in giving advice to women that they should work on themselves before looking for love. Not every woman who has a job and is independent in every way is ready for love. She can be so successful, but when it comes down to her own self-esteem, her own feeling of worth, she lacks on it, that's why many woman get attracted to the wrong kind of guy. Life is not telling the guy the right words, the right formulated sentence, or playing the right game or tactics and then you can get him. It's way deeper than that. And as a woman who has a diploma in cognitive therapy I can tell you, that the principals of law of attraction is similar or a simplified law of what cognitive therapy stands for = working on your thoughts, your emotions and learning how to deal with your life = coping with life. I used to follow you, but I stopped, not that I anything against you, but I like to work on myself on a deeper level. I now follow Psykologist who talks more about attachment style and how to heal, express yourself from your own needs and feelings, rather saying the right words so not to scare the guy away 😉 Wish you the best ❤️
Well said. I totally agree. Do find his points interesting though but what you’re saying will constitute to a healthy long term relationship rather than some step by step attraction script. I’m with you on this one.
These are not missing from his work. He has whole courses (retreat) focusing on confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. But you can't expect to get everything for free.
@@vmagika my point is not about getting things for free. It's about his perspective and fokus in everything he speaks about in the social media and in interviews - focus on the right words to say to a man. If he talks about more about psychological themes such as attachment style that has a lot of effect on your relations to others in your adult life, he wouldn't even give something away, because it's such a deep topic that it's hard to give something away for free. It takes at least 6 months of inner work to even shift your way of thinking to handling your life.
Unique pairing gentleman nice accent smart and good-looking and sensitive and funny
That’s not the problem crating a discussion. How do I find out if he has a girlfriend ? Don’t want to get embarrassed while I am flirting and he says suddenly I have a girlfriend .
Now you know how I feel Mademoiselle lol
Welcome to the man's world dear.
When is going to coach guys again. We need help out here
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The relationship im in feels really risky
We've known each other for 3 years on and off and she really likes me
But i feel she doesnt express it enough but she used to write about how she felt about me a lot. But feel like she questions the relatio ship
Ive talked to her about it and she says she wants this relationship
She was a mess a few months when we lost contact for a few months but now she seems to be getting better
Im practically living with her
Am i being to emotional about how much i feel for her or should i not be thinking about it to much?
Sounds like you're codependent and simping with this one. A good rule I've heard is never to commit more than the other is committing as well. And, in fact, if they don't commit, move on. Never waste your life on someone not as interested in you as you are in them.
Another great advice I've heard is to only get physically involved that matches the level of commitment. This is from a couples therapist based on data. Basically, from a social / emotional / mental health standpoint, people should only get 100% physical if theyre on a marriage track or married. That therapist says statistically &ex before marriage isn't significant to the success of a relationship and each person's mental healrh but it is if it's done without that level of mutual commitment.
Also, words don't matter here - actions speak louder than words - don't listen to what they say, watch what they DO. And what she's doing is stringing you along but more importantly, you're letting her. She can't do that if you don't let her by ending things and moving on. Sounds like you don't have enough self respect to be happy and feel whole as a single person and or believe in and go after the qualities in a person that you really want and are best for you. So develop your self respect so you don't just give it a way for someone to use, to the first person who pays you any attention, no matter how half a&&ed it is and how many irresponsible problems they have, that what make you feel important and "needed"? etc.
This is a one sided, non committal relationship for her - and self serving for her - and maybe for you too - maybe it seems like more work for you to be either single and or develop yourself so you have what the person you really want is looking for too.
If you are still in this "relationship", you have to ask yourself why and what you're getting out of it. You're in it by choice so why are you choosing it? Figure that out then choose something else / what is healthier / better / what you really need / want in a person instead and end this (if you haven't already).
I like this guy and agree with most of the things he says but if a girl in a bar or anywhere says “omg it’s so busy in here. It must be your big shoulders”, and pushes me (even gently) I’d get pissed and confused.......unless she was hot. Seriously touching or pushing anyone is a STRONG flirty move, but strong doesn’t always mean good. If he’s not interested in you or he’s not desperate, then you already fucked up. Not everyone can get away with this move obviously. You’d be naive if you think this move works for everyone hahahahhah
Matt, Lewis, I know this won't happen, but I would sure love advice for women dating women.
Do not move in together on second date. Also get ready for a wild ride in 9 of 10 cases of women dating women. The intensity is insane.
matthew is a genius. on top of that he is hard working , dedicated , disciplined and drop dead gorgeous
My mum was 21 years old when four men turned up at her home at the same time to ask her out. Each man sat there waiting for the other man to leave. My mum was living at home and it was in the late 1940s. People met through friends and family ,at dances and balls. Men had to work hard at winning a woman . There was no pre marital sex. Or at least you would first have to be engaged Men knew the woman who slept around and passed them around. I think the sexual revolution in the 60s changed everything. My mum said it’s not woman’s freedom it’s now mens. So I think it’s become much harder now for woman to find a man who wants to commit for the long term.. Look up the commitment on the internet . It’s all about how to get a man to commit and not the other way around. As the saying goes woman are the gate keepers to sex and men are the gate keepers to commitment. If woman united world wide and stopped making it so easy for men to get sex then men would have to try harder. It’s probably as simple as that.
Richard Wiseman was my lecturer - my intellectual crush 😍
Where was the dating advice?
Basically, women expect that a man makes a move.
yet the guy can not read the mind of a woman and know if she is single.
and she has to read his mind about whether he is single.
I don’t like that he takes as a reference period his teenager years as a prove that’s useless to be a gentleman cause girls or guys At that time clearly can’t understand & appreciate that. Offer that kind of treatment to mature girls/women and they’ll know to appreciate that.
I think he was merely saying he was brought up that way by his mother. As for being a gentleman with women, it is obviously not enough, it has to be paired with another quality from the beginning, for example being humorous or adventurous and being a gentleman, than a woman might find this man immediatly interesting and want to know more about him. A lot more exiting than just being polite. Don't you agree ?
Like a complete unknown / Like a rolling stone absolutely. Politeness alone is just manners we all should be brought up with. Rest is a matter of personality traits that makes us interesting & attractive to someone.
I can agree that high school may not be relevant, but I think if many of us are honest with ourselves (obviously not everyone), the reason we need his videos is because we are attracted to men who aren’t gentleman initially then want him to become a gentleman once in a proper relationship
disney girl great you mentioned that. If a person (man or woman) starts a relationship with the thought to change that person further in the relationship, then it’s 100% doomed to fail. Because that’s a completely wrong approach. Or you accept the person as he/she is when you enter thy relationship, or you move on and wait for the person that you’ll like fully. And another point “bad guys”, psychologically women’s desire to tame them comes from the “mother syndrome “, once a women understands and goes away from these 2 unhealthy models she’ll become much more successful in her personal life.
Cristina Cernei I’ll look at mothers syndrome,; that’s a new one for me lol. Who knows, maybe it’ll allow for some introspection. I personally don’t believe in changing a man, but I want to prove to myself I am worthwhile by gaining the care of someone who doesn’t care easily (messed up I know. I think it’s because I’m insecure and need reassurance). Anyways, thanks for the new term!
hi, i walked up to a girl said hi, i'm robert, there's something about you that told me i just had to say hi, to you and ask you what your name is. She straight face looked at me said "is that your best line" I said no, i'm just talking to you. She walked away, did i say the wrong thing? if she walks away, it's over, i don't go back to her?
Gosh...I thought he was 37!!!
Is this an old recording? Thought he was 33?
This was recorded in 2015.
10:07
Why should we listen? Because what he talks about makes complete sense.
Logic and Psychology are sure ways that keep me interested. More like truth and commonsense? Sad that its not pervasive! Sob sob!
The same 5 percent lol where is the rest of 95% Matthew
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How old is this ?
5 yrs
WOW!!
In Japan women would actually write a small letter and give it to him.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
Text him on WhatsApp
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Not sure how you know all this as until you reach your 50 s you haven't really experienced everything there is to know !!!!! I clean 5 hours a day i don't make you tube videos.....very strange times we are now living in !!!!!
This doesn’t apply to India and Indian men. 🙈
Why flirt when you have pre-arranged marriage in between families ? loll
What, he was only 27 year old in this video and giving out these dating advice?!
Wait a minute..Matthew is 27?? I seriously had to check when this video was made because I thought this was done several years ago. I literally thought he was at least 32 or 33. I've been following his videos since 2015! I'm still in shock.....He just made a statement referring to the year 2015..so maybe this is a past clip?
He's 33 ;)
@@rwaidaalkhoury5885 That's what I thought, thanks.
💖
Jesus 27 !!!!!! , I thought he was closer to my age like late 30's early 40's . Ugh .
I think Shawn Mendes would have bette dating advise since he got the girl in the end.
Wtf 27?
This was 2015
Why r u single, Matt? Or r u not? 😉
Matt I know a person who commit a lot of sin infeddelity unfaithdulness or wreck a family now she gonna be single forever she’s a lesbian from Hongkong
I’m not verbally initiating any conversation with a man.
I will drop my lip gloss, purse, phone etc.
Bashing law of attraction is pretty Platitudinous lol.
27 in 2020 ?
This video is older
Mathew doesn’t practice or ‘believe’ in The Law of Attraction??? Wow, I’m totally shocked by that honestly. Very smart and clever man that I would just assume was knowledgeable to something so powerful and truly life changing! The LOA is ancient, before Christ even so it’s common knowledge with Science AND spirituality to back it up so with Science/Quantum Physics backing it up I’d think it’s safe to say, The LOA is very much practical sense Matthew. Anyhoo, I love you still!!! 💞🥰😘
He's brilliant, very ntelligent