Sam Vay OMG!!! It’s like my subconscious mind made an youtube video!!!! This video is liked and saved! And I’ve been watching it over and over again! This is unbelievable! The exact same words I’ve been thinking about! I’ve broke up with my boyfriend after 8 years and yeah we were young when we started dating, he was my first “boyfriend” and all the things you mentioned in the video I could just relate to everything literally everything you were saying!!! So glad this video popped up!😊
Thanks a lot for these two videos, very helpful as I’m at the 3.5years mark and I just know in my heart of hearts something is just not right, not so much in the relationship but in my own mentality towards the relationship. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to end things for three weeks now and spent the past two weekends crying like crazy, already mourning the relationship before it’s even over... from the next video I’m literally dreading the whole online dating thing 😂 I’m planning on skipping all that and instead am just going to try to “get out more” and try to meet people organically. Thanks again, this really helped confirm that I’m going to do the right thing.
I'm sorry to say this as I know you were young but you were a selfish and cowardly person to do that to your ex...you said you cared for him and loved him but in love with yet you were planning to break up with for almost a year but didn't have the guts to do so... I'm sure u told him sweet nothings and being intimate and planning the future during the period you were planning to break up with him this shows poorly on your character It's sad that you your partner has to be completely compatible with you to make you happy..your living in a fantasy world if you think or still think that's how it works! You think your perfect (your not) I'm sure he put up with a lot your crap and sacrificed his own happiness to be with you and that's how love works... I know your immature and you think the grass is greener but I know karma works in funny and I'm sure your future dreams and plans will be shattered like your ex's dreams..
Sam Vay I just wanted to say, I appreciate this video SO much! I’ve been in a 4 year relationship that I want to end, due to not being happy. We just aren’t right for each other. I have had many many many of the same exact thoughts. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before, and I’ve always thought you only leave a relationship if someone is treating you badly. That’s not the case though! Lots of guilt and anxiety, that is for sure. I told myself I’d do something like this as well afterwards because I’ve been searching for someone I could relate to, and have never found it, until now. I appreciate you being open and honest with your thoughts! I hope you’re doing well ❤️
One big thing that Sam didn't mention, unless I missed it, is it's not fair to the person you are with to be with them if you aren't certain. You are holding up their life too. They deserve someone who loves them whole and who is willing to commit to them fully too.
Yes, I agree completely and that was the main reason why I ended my 8 1/2 year relationship . Unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time didn’t want to accept that that was the reason for me leaving but instead wanted to accuse me of being unfaithful when in reality I was just happier being alone.
Amanda Van if you had social media while dating him then you weren’t exclusively his. You had many male orbiters validating you which always takes away from the energy anyone can put into a relationship..and we all know ladies value IG more than men do. Women by nature do not want to be alone and don’t understand it.
Unpopular O’pinion hahahaha get the fuck outta here wit that shit mate. Remember to take ur head out of ur ass, u sound like u need to go outside n get some air
Despite my reply to the weird ass person comment on here i totally agree to this. My ex left me becauee that very reason.. He was falling out of love even tho i kept falling more n more for him. It was a more ima end it here not to hurt u more and back then i never understood i thought i wasnt good enough but till many years after i realized he did me a favor. I was more then enough he just didnt deserve it and he let himself leave knowing i did deserve as much love i give in return. I grew hate for so many years till now i honestly thank him because he wasnt it. Im with someone almost 5 years now and its different. If the person who didnt have the same love in return keep me or didnt let me go i wuldnt have found what i have now which is more then what i deserved. Do them the favor and let them find the person who will give them back the same energy. And for yourself, go find yourself if thats what it is u need. Its a win win.
Unpopular O’Pinion is MGTOW in the building? Lol you make valid points I think. I also think if you’re not happy why stay? I do agree there is a difference with social media in how male female roles are portrayed specifically as it relates to a relationship. But for her to string him along when she’s no longer in love that’s also an issue here. On your other points - do tats detract from femininity I would say so....is she a thot? I cannot confirm that.
smilebe4death h this is so true. I was together with my ex for two years and had his baby very young I scarified so much for him and it was not the same on his end. He moved in and I felt alone continue to feel alone until a month after the baby was born I finally left him. Five months later trying to date again is just so strange
I just ended something because I felt alone with him, he was always talking about his ex, he was more away from me than with me. I got more and more unhappy and lonely, until I just didn't want to be with him anymore.
"He's a good person. He's not abusive, so maybe I should stop being a brat." To anyone reading this, you're not a brat. Just because a guy isn't abusive, doesn't mean that makes him acceptable to be with or he's right for you. It's sad that women (myself included) have begun to think that if a guy isn't abusive he is acceptable. It's sad. :(
Julia Heslop but there is also another extreme where women believe that they’re princesses and that unless a man worships the ground she walks on, he’s not worthy
when you said "20 years down the line am i going to regret my decision" i said no to myself and started crying, but although i know ill be happy again. im sad right now. and i can't get out of it.
And it is okay to be sad right now! Let yourself be human and cry it out you need it!! It’s hard to let go of people but it is well worth it when their time is up in your life. It’s giving you room to learn about yourself and bring in new people to grow and teach u❤️ u are great remember that! You will be happy again
One of my biggest fear is breaking up with my SO and them turning around and talking crap about me to all her friends. Even if I try to end it respectfully.
@@danfromzr3289 I also am afraid of that but then just remember that you’re no longer together & other ppl perceptions of you do not matter. you don’t need to tell others your story and part. Exs are bound to say bad things behind your back but what matters is the way you see yourself only
I think the problem happens when a young couple dates too long. There has to be some common goal they work towards so that they don’t grow apart. Otherwise there’s too much temptation out in the world
I don’t want to settle for something that doesn’t make me happy but at the same time I’m always asking myself...”are my expectations too high or unrealistic?”
@@paolasoriano2867 I can tell you now, a couple of years out that it was the right decision to walk away. I’m in a much better place now. I regained my independence, reconnected with myself, and eventually met someone amazing.
@@Kasiabobasia thanks for responding...I am asking myself that same question today. Am I asking for too much. And truth is am not asking anything out of the ordinary for a relationship. Just emotional and sexual intimacy.
@The Grumpy Horticulturist I’m sorry, that’s so hard. Listen to your gut. Maybe some time apart will give you more clarity. You are still young. I know it feels like time is running out to make life changes (mid 30s here 🙋🏻♀️) but trust me, there is a lot of life ahead of you! ❤️
I’m fresh out of a 4yr relationship. I’m so hurt... but I cant stop thinking about a conversation I overheard years ago. An older lady was giving a coworker advice on her relationship and I remember her saying “You’ll know in your heart if a relationship is sacred. That’s how you decide whether to stay or go.” I honestly never understood that until now
I think its okay to outgrow your young adult relationships. It does suck, but its a world of difference when you're with someone who you love and adore instead of being with someone because you feel obligated/comfortable.
keepinitreal I don’t necessarily think so. The getting comfortable part, of course, but just because you’re comfortable doesn’t mean you can’t adore your partner. If anything, your shared experiences can make you adore them even more than when you first met.
Hi Sam, this video brought me to tears almost immediately. My ex and I just ended our relationship two days ago and I am hurting so bad. Everything you’ve said I relate to. Thank you for sharing this.
Hugs to you all girls! Stay strong. It’s never easy, believe me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Spend sometime for yourself, love yourself and take care of your health (both mental and physical). ♥️
"I've never experienced dating, especially as an adult," these were my EXACT words! Like I honestly don't even know how to be a single woman because I've been with you my entire adult life. These mid 20s are a hot mess, but I had to go through with this breakup to regain my peace.
omg this is sooo relatable. Especially when she was talking about the thoughts you have when you're contemplating breaking up. I always thought about breaking up with my ex, but was too emotionally dependent on him, but he ended up breaking up with me anyways and in the end I was thankful because I got to gain my independence back again
Wooah. When you started saying “I became really dependent on him” I was telling myself. Please don’t say driving, please don’t say driving. And you did. And that’s just really crazy and it’s hitting so close to home
prettyhappy i think she meant like if she needed to go grocery shopping, her bf would drive. If they took a trip to a different city, her bf would drive. If they went out to go eat, the bf would drive. That’s how my relationship is. My mans drives everywhere if I’m with him. The only time I drive myself if when I drive to work or when I drive somewhere like ULTA, haircut, nail appointment, etc. I hate driving lol.
That's like me and my man but I love him driving me. He does everything for me makes me breakfast, I do the laundry. I love being dependent on him cuz he really does put me first more than my family
The part where you said you had no idea what a loving relationship looked like... hit my feels too deeply. My parents are the same and for the longest time, I assumed constantly arguing was normal couples' behavior.
Omg seriously? My parents were the same but for my whole life I knew i don't want something like that, I want to have better relationship. And all I had was my parents relationship, I didn't know anything else but I still new it wasn't okay, wasn't normal. So it annoys me so much when people say "Aw my parents relationship was crap so I always thought that's how it suppose to be"... really? Come on, everyone has their own brains to figure out what is good, what is bad.
paulinagtw i dont know What she meant with her comment, but! My parents fighted so badly all throughout my childhood and i knew it wasn What i wanted. But since i havent seen anything Else i dont know How many fights are too many, and likewise people fight differently, some yell, some usd horrible words and some people doesnt talk at all, gashlightning and so on. It is harder to aknowledge When something isnt right quicker When you havent really seen a healthy relationship. I have an ides What is But it might be too unrealistic. Hope it makes sense, english is not my first language
Queen Ra I experienced the same thing. My entire family is like that, honestly. My parents always said that it wasn’t really “arguing” or “yelling” it was just communicating and during my relationship with my ex boyfriend there was a point where we would argue about something almost everyday but make up and we were still extremely in love and attracted to each other so I thought this arguing phase was normal but he didn’t... and he came from a more stable family so :( I think it’s important to listen to other people’s perspectives because you can be really easily blinded by the things that you have experienced
As I write this it is 3 am and I cant sleep. I just broke up with my bf of 8 almost 9 years... I feel terrible. I get on RUclips and see this video. Life is crazy. Love is crazy. Thank you for posting this video.
@stephanie gallegos Yes I did and I took about a year and a half to "date myself" finally put myself out there and I found a WAY better love! We've been together for a year and a half now! That was the best decision of my life and it definitely paid off. I hope the best for you! Definitely take time for yourself and grow!
I agree. I broke up with my ex at 27, and we were together for 6 years. I knew I’d rather be single and get to know myself again, and the right person would eventually come along.
I agree! We have this idea in society that we need to be married or really committed to someone else by a certain age which just isn’t true or healthy. It forces people to stay in bad relationships in fear of being single at an older age. It makes people think they will never find anyone to love them ever again. You know what, a lot of people who get married young end up divorced so just cause their Facebook pictures look happy that doesn’t mean they are.
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday whom I still love and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. When we hugged goodbye I didn't want to let him go. But I know it was the right thing to do for both of us. It's hard when emotionally you really do love someone and want them, but logically you know you can't be together. I changed too much over the course of our relationship and my life is going to change even more, (moving away and working harder so less time and effort for him). I feel so thankful to have been with him. And I just hope that one day we can be best friends like we were before everything, best case scenario. I just keep seeing photos of us and the cards he wrote to me and I keep crying at random intervals. I know it's going to get easier eventually, and that instead of crying at those things I will smile at the found memories, but it's really hard right now because I still love him and I have lost my best friend. The future doesn't seem as exciting anymore but I know that will change with time.
It will get better i hope. I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years. I still love him he's my best friend it's incredibly hard but I don't want to settle for just ok. I don't know but it's very hard
My boyfreind and I started dating when I was 17 and he was 19. We just hit 7 years together last week been living together for over 2 years. He is literally my best freind. This video in no way made me question our relationship. If it did for you, if you feel like that person is dragging you down, it's time to move on. Everyone deserves to live a life that makes them feel whole and wonderful. With or with out a significant other.
I’m in a similar situation as you, my fiancé is my best friend for sure, if anything this video made me scared thinking about if something ever happened to us 😂😂
Has anyone else been in a situation where the other person is amazing, helps u, talks to u, laughs with u, loves u so much, nothings wrong, but for some reason...u just can’t and u cry Bc u don’t feel it and u don’t know why u don’t feel it? Idek it’s weird, this has happened 2 times to me already and it makes me scared that this will happen in all my relationships and I’ll eventually just break up with them.
Are you looking for someone else to make you happy? Are you disconnected from yourself? Maybe you realize they aren’t filling that hole in your heart and it hurts. Unfortunately no one can fill that hole but you. I could be wrong.
Diana Duenas it’s been over a year now that I’ve been alone, and tbh it’s been the best thing I could have done for myself. If u don’t feel it then u don’t feel it. It gets better
“Will I regret this” “what if this is the best” “what if I’m just being a brat” “I become really dependent” Literally. I’ve been feeling this for soooo long and I still keep making excuses. The guilt is big too because of our daughter.
It’s so crazy. I literally just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years 3 weeks ago. It was a mutual decision but it feels weird being single after so many years.
I’m 31 going through this ... talk about feeling late in the game to start over wanting marriage and kids and your partner doesn’t. We are total opposite just like you were.... exact same thing. I’m glad you made a decision and are feeling so much happier now.
Personally if my partner doesn't want kids that's a dealbreaker. That's not something you can wait and hope they change their mind about. I hope you find your happiness and get everything you want in life ❤🌻
@@monicachavez2737 Aww Thanks hun! When we first met I didn't want kids. But as I've gotten older that has slowly changed for me. I'm now at a place where I know i want kids. It's hard having to decide what to do after 6 years. I'm glad that you stand by what you want, that is a great thing to do.
I know this video is from a long time ago, but I came across it because I am ending a five-year-long relationship and I can't even begin to describe how relatable everything you said is! The fear, the guilt, the uncertainty, the confusion, the dependency, everything. It's incredibly hard when you discover you aren't compatible as a couple long term, but you do still care for them and love them and they are practically family to you. It's even harder when all of your friends are getting married and in long term relationships. Thank you so much for this video... it made me feel a lot less alone...I hope being single in my 20's brings a new love for myself and a sense of independence
@@TysonASMR omg wow I can't believe you came across this comment! It's so interesting looking back on now. We are both doing really well and everything happened for a reason! I'm living my dream life with my fiance (who is a perfect match for me!) and we'll be getting married next year. My ex is living with his girlfriend and her two kids and they are very happy as a little family. We actually just caught up and we are still on good terms! Thank you for responding that was really thoughtful :)
I wish I would’ve seen this video sooner! What I remember from my relationship with my ex (my first ever relationship in fact) was that I was kind of suppressed in a way? Like before I had gotten into that relationship with him, I was always loud and outgoing and cheerful, but during the time I was with him I felt quiet and alone, always sad.. Don’t get me wrong, I did love him and it was a really fun experience but after some time I felt like he was taking me for granted. I felt like I was always in competition for his attention, and I found myself crying every night and feeling like there was a giant hole in my heart. I was unhappy. So of course I told him. Like you said, it’s hard being the one to break things off, which is exactly what I did. I felt so so so guilty, I cried, he cried, and I spent the next few months wallowing in sadness and regretting my decision. I tried again but after he full on rejected me and took advantage of me liking him (before New Year’s Eve) it finally hit me that he ain’t shit. I started immersing myself in sports and the gym, reading, working out, working, anything to keep me busy. It was really hard to not think about him, but then suddenly one day my mind wandered less and less of the thought of him. The fact that he didn’t like me or would find another girl crushed my soul in the past. But now, Its safe to say that I’m over him. 😊
Aw I relate to this so much! The thought of him finding another girl still crushes my soul but I’m slowly getting over him and falling in love with myself. ❤️
Ashley Marie I can relate to the endless nights of crying & feeling alone. Was with my bf for 6 years, i felt the same way you did.. fighting for his attention & Him taking me for granted. Altho i knew i deserved better & someone that could provide & find me worthy enuf i stayed & was miserable. He ended up flipping everything around & left me but in a way the relationship was dead for a while. Its hard when its your first relationship and there was so much invested but i guess finding who you are & what you want is more. Its been 8 months, its getting easier but i still wonder & have love for him. I hope one day i can truly say im over him. Thank you for sharing!
Aww i relate to this so much. I feel like I always have to compete for his time, attention and I became quieter because I'm always wondering "why am I not enough when I used to be everything before" and it really sucks. I'm proud you had the strenght to move on , I'm so happy you're happy
This is literally my story! 7 years together. Long distance. Moved in together at 6th year. Broke up a year after. Now im happier than ever. I think we should be friends Sam
Never never settle. I met the most amazing man, you will know if things are right because there will be no problem once you move in together, I mean of course in any relationship you fight but you won’t feel the way you were feeling and now I have been married for almost a year, and let me say I had some incompatible relationships in the past and it feels so different when you find the right person
Literally can relate to EVERYTHING you said in this video. I'm going through the most devastating break up right now. Good to know I'm not alone. Thanks for uploading.
I'm 24 and just got out of an 8 year relationship! Everything you said is bang on. I miss her more than anything in the world right now but how will we know if theres someone better unless we try. I'm still upset and hardly sleeping because of the grief but i know it'll get better. If she really is the one, then time apart will prove it by bringing us back together. I just need to live and see how it goes! Thank you for your video! It meant a lot to me x
All I can say is WOW! This was definitely the sign I was looking for. Just like you I was feeling guilty about feeling the way I was feeling and wondering if I was alone!! Thank you so much for this!!!
Loving them but not being IN love 😩 I recently just got out of a 10yr relationship. I have sooo much love for him but I just wasn’t in love with him anymore. Are you guys still friends? Or have any communication at all?
I’m going through a lot as well and you feel alone because you don’t want to hurt the person. But when IS the right time to walk away? Financially I am saving
Can you explain to me how does loving someone still would make you fall out of in love? Can you please explain it to me why because I never get that idea.
For me I understand it as this: you may love your friends and care about them platonically, but not romantically. So talking out of love would be losing the romantic attraction for someone, but not necessarily the platonic “friendship” love
Omg I just got out of a 6 year relationship. I'm so thankful for this video! It's hard to gain back to yourself and search yourself again after losing your boyfriend/bestfriend because of realizing it was best for us to love ourselves first. We also moved in together and that's why we finally realized it wouldn't work.
"What if I end things and then end up CHANGING MY MIND..." WAAOW - that is 100% my dilemma right now as I struggle to make a decision if leaving my current boyfriend is a good decision. I just don't know! However it is selfish of me to waste his time just because I can't make up my mind.
This is why most high school relationships don’t work out past high school because almost everyone needs to go out and grow by themselves and have experiences to see what you want and don’t want! A lot of people change so much after high school and people don’t grow the same way together. I do agree you should move in before marriage to see if you’re truly compatible but it can definitely be tough. The first year I lived with my bf it was hard af. Combing two lives together is hard af. But you can figure it out we’ve been living together for 3 years now and it’s way better 😊 I do know of only one couple that’s stayed together since middle school and are now in mid 20’s getting married but that’s rare!
Brittanie Gonzalez yea I definitely agree with you usually your not mature enough when your in high school to understand what love is and what really goes into a relationship, relationships are no joke ,however, me and my husband are an exception we met in high school I was 15 and he was 17 we were together for 4 and a half years and we just got married last December and moved in with each other for the first time it’s been the most amazing 5 months of my life there were no surprises I just think before you move in with someone you have to be mature enough to understand you’ll do things differently and that’s ok just learn to compromise
Brittanie Gonzalez I agree with you . Btw my brother and his wife been together since middle school . Now they have little girls and have their house they are 29 . 🤭 . She moved in to our home when she was 13 . Lol . And since then she still with my brother .
I always stand by living with someone before you get married. I can understand why people wait, but I felt like I knew everything about my boyfriend but the dynamic of your relationship changes once you live together. I feel like it can potentially be a make or break!
I truly needed this video. It is scary how similar your story is to mine. My boyfriend of 8 years and I broke up in December for the same reasons that you mentioned. Even though I was the one that was dumped, we both just didn’t know what else was out there and felt like our lives were headed in 2 different directions that didn’t include each other. But I relate to your experience so much. After our relationship ended, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt like I had always been one half of a whole and I needed to find the other piece of me that was missing. Even though it hurt like hell some days, I went out and tried to get my independence back. And slowly and surely I’m seeing changes in me that I didn’t know were missing before. I feel more comfortable doing things alone now. Even though it would be nice to have someone around, I know I don’t need another person to complete me. I know I’m not ready to date yet, and I know I have more self discovering to do. I agree that it does feel easier to move on when you have a bunch of new things happening. I begin my first “big girl” career in June as a Registered Nurse and I’m excited to throw myself in to that to be the best caretaker I can. I loved this video, it was just the thing I needed to hear to encourage me to keep going. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤️
I randomly found this video and it’s my life right now. I’m 24 and have been in my relationship since 17! My bf treats me so good, but I’m not happy. The past year I’ve felt stuck in my head about leaving, but I don’t know how to. We have an apartment, 2 dogs and my car is in his name. I just don’t know how to “start over”. I had gained so much weight and let myself go. I’m finding myself again and get back to who I was before, making it harder to leave cuz now I feel ready..
You spoke my mind. I didn't cry watching this video. I got a sense of relief that there are more people like me...who have gone through something like I did. I had a relationship for 9.5 years. But it has ended. And now I know it's for good. I'm on my journey to love myself. Thanks for this video
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Everyone around me is pretty irritated even though I know what I did was best for me in the long run. Thank you so much for this.
The first boy I dated that I actually loved I’m still stuck on. We started dating the summer of my junior year too. We were together for 5 years. I’ve dated since and had a few serious ones but none of them compared to him. I left him and it was the worst decision of my life. I was too young and dumb to realize he was the best thing that happened to me. I cheated on him one night in college. Biggest mistake of my life. He didn’t even leave me when he found out, but he was visiting his mother in Arizona. I told him not to come back and blocked all his calls. I’m still paying for it. So if the guy you are with is practically perfect, and you are just a little bored. Think about what you are going to lose before acting.
Wow. It’s like I needed to read this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. & I love him but sometimes I think about how I don’t know what’s it’s like to be in another relationship & how other relationships are because he was the only person I had been with and he was my first everything. & I honestly feel awful sometimes for thinking that because he’s honestly such a good boyfriend. I love him so much, and I would neeeeever ever cheat, but it’s like I keep getting these intrusive thoughts about only being with one person my whole life. Like sometimes I just wish I would have dated more in high school and experienced things with other people and then met him. :/
M also in a relationship. It has been 5 years now,but i found another guy n unintentionally we started feeling for each other n now it has been 5 months,he knows that m in a relationship but still waiting for me to leave my long relationship. M so confused whom to choose...
Kayyvr I felt the same way. Then when I did go out into the world of dating, thinking I could find someone better, I realized that I had just left the best thing I could find. That was my experience, but I went about it the wrong way and really hurt someone. Don’t stay if you feel guilty but don’t leave if everything’s good.
You literally described my entire situation right now. My ex and I had a mutual breakup after 4 years on and off and I literally felt the same way. I’m really happy with my decision though so far but it’s still hard losing someone you have that much history with!
My heart hurts hearing this because all of these thoughts are clouding up my mind at the moment 😭 I just hope I can make the right decision, and do what’s best for me and my future.
I kinda knew I wasnt the only one going through this but no one around me ever was in my situation so I'm honestly so shook because you described perfectly my situation. It's like jumping off a cliff and you dont know what's next. I'm so afraid to regret it. So many people say they relate when youtubers share personal stories but it's the first time I really feel that connection. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
Almost exactly as my story. We got together young and broke up after almost 8 years. It was hard and I still had love for him but I wasn’t happy. I’m happier now than if I would have stayed in that relationship. Definitely the best decision I could have made.
Before you do, firstly try your best to regain that spark. Think of the good, try your best and realise why you fell in love in the first place. Of course this doesn't apply if there is abuse or manipulation etc, or you have huge differences
Thank you so much for sharing this 🌟 I know how it feels. On one hand, you’re afraid of losing a person that truly loves you and could be the one, but on the other hand you’re afraid that he’s not the person you’re meant to be with, so you’re waisting your time, while you could be with someone else who actually completes you. I mean, you’re just afraid of ending up alone. I took a long time to realize this, but if you ever doubt if your partner is the one that’s because he’s definitely not the one. And don’t let the fear of loneliness stops you from being happy because I assure you that you’re way more happy by yourself rather than with someone who’s just there...
Although I appreciate the 5 year relationship I had throughout high school. I wish I wouldve made more decisions with myself in mind. And not with our relationship in the forefront.
God, I so needed to see this right now. I've been having issues with my 4 1/2 year relationship, and I've been feeling alot of these same things. Its feels good to know I'm not alone.
This video is like perfect timing. We moved in 2 weeks into meeting and have been together 6 years. it's hard to lose your partner AND your best-friend, almost feels wrong to "willingly" give up all the things you went through together while transitionning from teenagers to adults.
I had a son with my ex, we had married after having the kid. I met him when I was 18. I just turned 28. I felt like I was taken for granted for providing and being driven to succeed in work to provide for my son's future. He wasn't setting goals for himself, felt insecure, and cheated. Things changed and it was hard. Esther Perel addressed it well: "It's harder to stay than to leave."
You don’t know how much this video means to me right now. I’m about to break it to him soon and I’m so scared. I relate to almost everything you mentioned in this video. Just know that this has helped me with validating my feelings and knowing that I will be okay. Thank you so much for sharing!
I completely disagree. If you think you’re only worth a man “kicking the tires”, having you pay half his rent and acting like a wife without the benefit of actually being one, you don’t know your worth. It removes the reason for a man to marry you. Why would he? He will be gaining NOTHING the morning after the wedding that he isn’t already getting. Men don’t have to marry women anymore, they can find one who will act like one anywhere, they don’t have to. Women, respect yourselves more! And FATHERS, RAISE DAUGHTERS WHO KNOW THEIR WORTH, NOT ONES WHO ARE OK WITH BEING TEST DRIVEN.
Shannon H. It’s not about the man? It’s about YOU. If you don’t know who you’re moving in with you’re a) putting yourself in a possibly dangerous situation because sure he’s Prince Charming right now, but once you’re married and legally bound with him maybe he’s not all that sweet behind closed doors, b) possibly moving in with a slob who expects you to be his mommy and slave and now you feel obliged to stay with him because you’re legally attached to him, c) you could find out you’re simply not compatible and don’t share the same values/habits/you’re too opposite or whatever. You should know your worth, and that includes knowing you are not in a relationship JUST for that other person. If you think living with your partner is a test drive, you’d be a 1000% correct, but it’s a test drive on BOTH ends. YOU’RE making sure HE’s not an abusive person, or a slob, or someone who you’re incompatible with, and he should be doing the same with you. If you think marriage is about forcing your husband to be with you to “get” something out of you he can’t get beforehand, I truly hope you find someone who won’t take advantage of your backwards logic to put you in a situation you can’t get out of. You don’t belong to anyone, married or not, and your partner doesn’t belong to you, married or not.
@@fergieestaenlacasa sweetie 90% of live in relationships dont end up marrying is because a man doesnt have to marry you to get "wifey" duties. a woman is a gift, not the man. as far as abuse and cleaning habits etc, you can vet all that BEFORE moving in / marrying someone. there are plenty of red flags you can find of abuse before moving in with someone. i've moved in with female roommates before and i dont want to do that with a man. im not splitting bills with a man or going half on rent with a man. live in relationships benefit men more because they have someone to split bills and rent with.
Glad other people are going through this. When leaving a long term relationship, it feels scary and like you're alone. I recently had a 12 year relationship end. Changing paths and future desires/ wants. Very sad at times, but some days are good while finding yourself again.
I lasted for 7 years and I am now 30 and newly single, this hurts a lot right now but I’m thankful for finding this video. I’m terrified of what’s to come and fear I’ll never get a chance to have children 😞 I’m just trying to keep the hope.
This has hit me at home. I’m 1 year into a joint lease and a 3 year relationship and feeling exactly how you said just not happy. Everything you said is exactly how I feel and so happy to hear someone else was there. Hearing other people talk about it helps me realize I’m not being negative. Thank you so much.
Hello dear, I recommend you Dr Ezekiel, He was the one who help me bring back my 6years broken 💔 relationship,so I promise that he will help you too,And also Dr Ezekiel always keep to his promise I which you seek his help,thanks
Here after ending just a 7 month relationship. I was always the girl in relationships. I knew I never found myself. When I was with him I knew I had to leave. We were different people. Different ways at looking at life. But he’s a good guy. I’m in the sad, cry every day phase. Thank you for this video and the comments. I’m trying to heal and find myself finally. I’m 25 years old, and I’m just now starting this journey.
This is how I felt because my ex and I were at two different phases of our life that didn’t align as much as we wanted to. We were together for 8.5 years and it’s been over 1.5 years since I ended the relationship. The best advice I received was feel everything instead of pushing it away. I still have my moments of sadness and regret but I know what I did was for myself. I’m staying strong and Enjoying my life right now.
I definitely agree with you that a couple should live together before getting married. You truly never know a person until you live with them. My boyfriend and I just hit 7 years together last month and we’ve been together since we were 15. We moved in together about a year and a half ago and it was certainly a test for our relationship.
You are so inspirational and the fact that you had the the courage to break up after 7 years says that you love yourself and put yourself first. Truly courageous
Having problems in a 6 year relationship and watching this video really let me understand there are a lot of people out there facing the same thing and questioning themselves the same thing. I feel better already
I absolutely love the way you explained all of this. You put exactly into words what I've been thinking/feeling for the past 10 months after breaking up with my ex of 4 years and being with him since I was 15. A lot of things happened at the end I wish could have turned out differently, because it had just been building for so long, it's sad that we can't even be friends or talk now. Anyway, im so happy you made this video. Thank you. You stole the words right out of my mouth, every last word. I'm happy to say I feel the same individuality and Independence as you do now, and it's so great, no matter how much your world has to flip completely upside down to get here. You rock girl, keep it goin. I love the girl talks!! 💖
ALL the yes! I was in a 5 year relationship from when I was 16 (almost 17) until I was 22. He broke up with me a week after proposing, then I found out that he had cheated on me with his now wife. It was super hard, and it took me a long time to heal. Heck, even these days there little bits of healing I'm still doing. I'm 27 now, but I love who I am and who I have become because I had time to be single, find myself, and realize who I wanted to be as a person and as a partner to be better for my current partner now. It's a new chapter which is scary and exciting, but at the end of the day, healing happens over time, and independence comes with it too. You're a rockstar!
Your relationship life is literally mine in paper. As of now I am going through the same thing. The hardest part that still brings me back to tears is leaving our dogs we had together. I am excited to love myself again. You’re amazing, thank you so much for this video!
Oh girl!! Same thing! Started dating an amazing guy at 16, dated for 9 years and I just ended things 3 months back for similar reasons. It just didnt feel right. Im riding the roller coaster of guilt and confusion still so this helped me so much! Thank you! Please do another on dating for the first time etc!!
wow i feel this so hard. no one ever tells you about breaking up with someone to be alone, or even about breaking up with someone who isn't "bad". It's so rough but I think it's so important in your 20s to really have that time to yourself that I think is so undervalued :// thank you sm for this video - making me feel like i'm not a horrible person.
The guilt is the worst!! I havnt broken up with my partner yet but i feel so guilty even thinking that i want to. And it kills me to think of hurting him. And im so scared i will regret this and it will be too late. Tearing me up inside. Hes all ive known for 10 years, my first serious relationship, i cant imagine not having him around but im not happy, i dont think he is either. But we both love each other so much it fkn sucks!!!
i went through such a similar situation (time frame, age, worries about dating, logistics, dependancy) one year ago. glad you’re putting this out now because like you, i needed something like this too when it all went down ! thanks for putting it out there gf :)
I literally can’t thank you enough for making this video omg. This is so helpful just knowing that I’m not alone with this feeling of loving someone but not being in love and not being able to see a future with them.
Guy here. I just wanna thank the creator of this video for expressing a lot. It helped me come to terms with questions. Although 30 y/o. the factors of a relationship transcend ages. after contemplating this thought of breaking up for two years out of a near 5 year relationship has finally come to an end. its happening today.... I hope to gain whatever momentum i can from this and become stronger. Don't get me wrong, this had no bad blood on my side. I just felt plain and simple, i need to experience life on my own, and that the necessary love for her and the relationship wasnt there. again thank you to all the posts over the years i've read. thank you for helping me move forward.
@@shriyasrivaz3369 the way she wrote makes it look like she clearly just wants to be nosy and hear all about it ...but yeah lets giver her the benefit of the doubt and believe she wanted to get advice on how to do it
Then why the fuck are you broadcasting it the internet when it’s gonna be there forever, why are you making a video on “why we broke up after 7 years” it’s only fair to get the guys point of view.
I feel you girl!!! I totally do. The hardest thing to do is leaving a partnership, I think it just hurts knowing you will break someones heart. I felt this ♥️ beautiful video. You gotta do whats right for you, even if it means leaving someone whose still in love with you.
I just ended my 5 year relationship today and this is strangely the exact same way I feel. So I really needed this and I appreciate you making this video❤️
Thank you so much for this. I'm in the process of ending an almost 10 year relationship, and it's so nice to have someone to relate to. It's amazing to have my feelings validated. You don't have to hate someone to want to end a relationship. I'm only 27, so the same boat, only serious relationship of my life, and the same situation of never having a positive relationship example to base it off of. It sucks feeling like you're ruining someone's life, but when it comes to the point of either ruining someone else's life or your own, it's the point of no return. It wasn't far into my relationship that I started to feel like my identity was being taken away from me. There was a lot of control, and emotional abuse going on. I would eventually try to stand up for myself and things would improve but they never stayed that way. You've given me so much hope and strength with this video. Thank you again.
I can definitely relate... it’s been a year that I broke off my 9 year relationship, almost a decade of being with my ex. And just like you mentioned, no one cheated or did anything crazy. He just didn’t value me... very little effort towards me and I was overwhelmed of giving it my all. Simply doing my very best for him to see my worth. (Which no woman should do). So when I broke it off I was heart broken and I felt VERY GUILTY. Guilty for wanting to move on. Guilty because for once in all the 9 years I chose to put myself first. I’m now 31 and still have hope I’ll meet my soul mate 😊 🤞🏼 That being said, I’m happy I came across this video. I needed to relate to someone and I’m glad I did. Thank you Sam. 🌻 Wishing you the very best and I’m so proud that you made this big decision as well.
Goddamn this is so relatable. Just got out of a 2 and a half year long relationship and feeling really conflicted about the decision. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thank you
I thank you for this video, i resonated so deeply with what I'm going on right now, my bf broke up with me during quaratine bc he felt uncertain about our relashionship and because he wanted to find himself. And while I still love him and this hurts me, I respect what he wants. i also, can now also see the relashionship from an outwards perspective. Your video makes me hope that in the future I will feel less guilty, less shame and perhaps in the long run, happy again
You're never late in the game. I left my two year relationship earlier this year because my ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. I'm 31. You never know what life will bring.
Hello do you need help to restore back your broken marriage/relationship, get/ reunite with your Ex, soulmate, specific person or banish third party from your relationship
This video helped me a lot thank you so much. I’ve been in an abusive relationship since I was 14 and I’m now 20. I’m trying to figure out what to do and how to get out of it. Sadly, we’re married so it’s a little harder but knowing someone that went through the same feelings makes me feel better! Thank you again.
F***. Maybe I shouldn't of clicked on this video because it was definitely a sign.............. But I love your videos Sam! Thank you for sharing your story. xoxo
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has doubted their relationship and felt so guilty. When you talked about dating and maybe finding someone who’s more compatible with you, I feel that. Exploring yourself, gaining back your independence. All of it. I’m just happy I’m not a dick for not feeling satisfied, though I truly love and deeply care about my significant other. This helped me so much, thank you! I can’t tell you how much I needed this 🙌🏼 I’ve been settling for a long time and I’m doing something selfish for once even after a long term relationship
My 17 year relationship just ended and I’ve never felt so lost. This video couldn’t have popped up at a better time. Thank you for making this. I’ll attempt to get to know who I am better and will look forward to what the future has in store. Again, thank you for the relief this video has given me.
Check out the second part to this girl chat! All about life after the breakup and my experience dating: ruclips.net/video/HbGqfJxgqq4/видео.html
Sam Vay OMG!!! It’s like my subconscious mind made an youtube video!!!! This video is liked and saved! And I’ve been watching it over and over again! This is unbelievable! The exact same words I’ve been thinking about! I’ve broke up with my boyfriend after 8 years and yeah we were young when we started dating, he was my first “boyfriend” and all the things you mentioned in the video I could just relate to everything literally everything you were saying!!! So glad this video popped up!😊
Thanks a lot for these two videos, very helpful as I’m at the 3.5years mark and I just know in my heart of hearts something is just not right, not so much in the relationship but in my own mentality towards the relationship. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to end things for three weeks now and spent the past two weekends crying like crazy, already mourning the relationship before it’s even over... from the next video I’m literally dreading the whole online dating thing 😂 I’m planning on skipping all that and instead am just going to try to “get out more” and try to meet people organically. Thanks again, this really helped confirm that I’m going to do the right thing.
I'm sorry to say this as I know you were young but you were a selfish and cowardly person to do that to your ex...you said you cared for him and loved him but in love with yet you were planning to break up with for almost a year but didn't have the guts to do so...
I'm sure u told him sweet nothings and being intimate and planning the future during the period you were planning to break up with him this shows poorly on your character
It's sad that you your partner has to be completely compatible with you to make you happy..your living in a fantasy world if you think or still think that's how it works! You think your perfect (your not) I'm sure he put up with a lot your crap and sacrificed his own happiness to be with you and that's how love works...
I know your immature and you think the grass is greener but I know karma works in funny and I'm sure your future dreams and plans will be shattered like your ex's dreams..
Sam Vay I just wanted to say, I appreciate this video SO much!
I’ve been in a 4 year relationship that I want to end, due to not being happy.
We just aren’t right for each other.
I have had many many many of the same exact thoughts.
I’ve been in an abusive relationship before, and I’ve always thought you only leave a relationship if someone is treating you badly.
That’s not the case though!
Lots of guilt and anxiety, that is for sure.
I told myself I’d do something like this as well afterwards because I’ve been searching for someone I could relate to, and have never found it, until now.
I appreciate you being open and honest with your thoughts!
I hope you’re doing well ❤️
John Doe stop being an ass
It's crazy how these types of videos find us when we are going through it ourselves..
Wow thanks for all the likes guys❤
Lucid Labyrinth was about to say the same thing!
litterally
Sameee *sending hugs and support*
True so wired 😫💖
Right like is my iPhone spying on me or can feel what I’m going through through my texts so weird 😩
One big thing that Sam didn't mention, unless I missed it, is it's not fair to the person you are with to be with them if you aren't certain. You are holding up their life too. They deserve someone who loves them whole and who is willing to commit to them fully too.
Yes, I agree completely and that was the main reason why I ended my 8 1/2 year relationship . Unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time didn’t want to accept that that was the reason for me leaving but instead wanted to accuse me of being unfaithful when in reality I was just happier being alone.
Amanda Van if you had social media while dating him then you weren’t exclusively his. You had many male orbiters validating you which always takes away from the energy anyone can put into a relationship..and we all know ladies value IG more than men do. Women by nature do not want to be alone and don’t understand it.
Unpopular O’pinion hahahaha get the fuck outta here wit that shit mate. Remember to take ur head out of ur ass, u sound like u need to go outside n get some air
Despite my reply to the weird ass person comment on here i totally agree to this. My ex left me becauee that very reason.. He was falling out of love even tho i kept falling more n more for him. It was a more ima end it here not to hurt u more and back then i never understood i thought i wasnt good enough but till many years after i realized he did me a favor. I was more then enough he just didnt deserve it and he let himself leave knowing i did deserve as much love i give in return. I grew hate for so many years till now i honestly thank him because he wasnt it. Im with someone almost 5 years now and its different. If the person who didnt have the same love in return keep me or didnt let me go i wuldnt have found what i have now which is more then what i deserved. Do them the favor and let them find the person who will give them back the same energy. And for yourself, go find yourself if thats what it is u need. Its a win win.
Unpopular O’Pinion is MGTOW in the building? Lol you make valid points I think. I also think if you’re not happy why stay? I do agree there is a difference with social media in how male female roles are portrayed specifically as it relates to a relationship. But for her to string him along when she’s no longer in love that’s also an issue here. On your other points - do tats detract from femininity I would say so....is she a thot? I cannot confirm that.
I pray for better days for everyone in the comments section - to all of you hurting
Aaaaw you are sooo sweet for this. So many people are negative in this world we need more love and good positive energy. God bless
Thats so sweet thank you🌸
The MA Family Thankyou...it hurts 💔
❤️
Thank you so much! You too.
If you still feel alone beside your partner they arent the one
smilebe4death h this is so true. I was together with my ex for two years and had his baby very young I scarified so much for him and it was not the same on his end. He moved in and I felt alone continue to feel alone until a month after the baby was born I finally left him. Five months later trying to date again is just so strange
But what if you want him to be the oneeee
@@roseyry9248 same v.v
I just ended something because I felt alone with him, he was always talking about his ex, he was more away from me than with me. I got more and more unhappy and lonely, until I just didn't want to be with him anymore.
@@roseyry9248 you can't always get what you want but you'll get what you need ;)
"He's a good person. He's not abusive, so maybe I should stop being a brat." To anyone reading this, you're not a brat. Just because a guy isn't abusive, doesn't mean that makes him acceptable to be with or he's right for you. It's sad that women (myself included) have begun to think that if a guy isn't abusive he is acceptable. It's sad. :(
Julia Heslop but there is also another extreme where women believe that they’re princesses and that unless a man worships the ground she walks on, he’s not worthy
@@shawngarcia3920 and lets not forget that a lot of women are actually more abusive than men! If not physically, then verbally and emotionally.
Sorry.. But you are wrong here.
Julia Heslop this is literally just, everything.
Oh fuck off...
when you said "20 years down the line am i going to regret my decision" i said no to myself and started crying, but although i know ill be happy again. im sad right now. and i can't get out of it.
Elizabeth Spam you will. We will all be happy someday.
And it is okay to be sad right now! Let yourself be human and cry it out you need it!! It’s hard to let go of people but it is well worth it when their time is up in your life. It’s giving you room to learn about yourself and bring in new people to grow and teach u❤️ u are great remember that! You will be happy again
I read this comment just as she said that....
sending you love
I break out crying randomly. It hurts so much.
I love how she respectfully talks about him even tho they are broken up
One of my biggest fear is breaking up with my SO and them turning around and talking crap about me to all her friends. Even if I try to end it respectfully.
@@danfromzr3289 I also am afraid of that but then just remember that you’re no longer together & other ppl perceptions of you do not matter. you don’t need to tell others your story and part. Exs are bound to say bad things behind your back but what matters is the way you see yourself only
I believe that a couple that starts young has two diferent futures: They grow together or they grow apart. It seems like you grew apart
So very true!
Agreed!
That’s so true. I wish someone would have told me this six years ago.
Touche !
I think the problem happens when a young couple dates too long. There has to be some common goal they work towards so that they don’t grow apart. Otherwise there’s too much temptation out in the world
I don’t want to settle for something that doesn’t make me happy but at the same time I’m always asking myself...”are my expectations too high or unrealistic?”
Sameee
Same.
@@paolasoriano2867 I can tell you now, a couple of years out that it was the right decision to walk away. I’m in a much better place now. I regained my independence, reconnected with myself, and eventually met someone amazing.
@@Kasiabobasia thanks for responding...I am asking myself that same question today. Am I asking for too much. And truth is am not asking anything out of the ordinary for a relationship. Just emotional and sexual intimacy.
@The Grumpy Horticulturist I’m sorry, that’s so hard. Listen to your gut. Maybe some time apart will give you more clarity. You are still young. I know it feels like time is running out to make life changes (mid 30s here 🙋🏻♀️) but trust me, there is a lot of life ahead of you! ❤️
I’m fresh out of a 4yr relationship. I’m so hurt... but I cant stop thinking about a conversation I overheard years ago. An older lady was giving a coworker advice on her relationship and I remember her saying “You’ll know in your heart if a relationship is sacred. That’s how you decide whether to stay or go.” I honestly never understood that until now
Can I ask how you told your partner? I’m in this position and really need help
@@CarissaBlue619did you tell him then??
Bcz currently I am in this position 😭
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. Hardest decision I’ve ever had to make
Cait I’m really proud of you. Keep your head up
Why u broke up..
I just did the same. Shits hard but it’s so important to follow your heart
He broke up with me 2 years ago
Same but we were only together 3 years but we have a kid together it's hard
I think its okay to outgrow your young adult relationships. It does suck, but its a world of difference when you're with someone who you love and adore instead of being with someone because you feel obligated/comfortable.
Agreed!
Wow...that hit me.🤯😰
After enough time passes, you will get comfortable with anyone. And the feeling of “adore” will pass
keepinitreal I don’t necessarily think so. The getting comfortable part, of course, but just because you’re comfortable doesn’t mean you can’t adore your partner. If anything, your shared experiences can make you adore them even more than when you first met.
Hi Sam, this video brought me to tears almost immediately. My ex and I just ended our relationship two days ago and I am hurting so bad. Everything you’ve said I relate to. Thank you for sharing this.
Same. 12 years :/
Same 7 1/2 years 😔
Katriellynn Same, 22 years and two kids. We met when I was 14 and he was 15.
I just ended a 17 yr relationship , he turned into someone I would of never ever imagined!! He can’t even look me in my face. I have God by my side !
Hugs to you all girls! Stay strong. It’s never easy, believe me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Spend sometime for yourself, love yourself and take care of your health (both mental and physical). ♥️
"I've never experienced dating, especially as an adult," these were my EXACT words! Like I honestly don't even know how to be a single woman because I've been with you my entire adult life. These mid 20s are a hot mess, but I had to go through with this breakup to regain my peace.
omg this is sooo relatable. Especially when she was talking about the thoughts you have when you're contemplating breaking up. I always thought about breaking up with my ex, but was too emotionally dependent on him, but he ended up breaking up with me anyways and in the end I was thankful because I got to gain my independence back again
Khadijah McNish me too. I wish I broke things off first but I loved him too much to do that
Me to a t
@@eval3509 Never do that he will never hurt you
Wooah. When you started saying “I became really dependent on him” I was telling myself. Please don’t say driving, please don’t say driving. And you did. And that’s just really crazy and it’s hitting so close to home
Alina Baltazar i didn’t understand what she meant by driving ? Can you explain pls
prettyhappy i think she meant like if she needed to go grocery shopping, her bf would drive. If they took a trip to a different city, her bf would drive. If they went out to go eat, the bf would drive. That’s how my relationship is. My mans drives everywhere if I’m with him. The only time I drive myself if when I drive to work or when I drive somewhere like ULTA, haircut, nail appointment, etc. I hate driving lol.
OMG yesssss me too!!
❤❤😍😍😍💑💑🌷🌷🌷
That's like me and my man but I love him driving me. He does everything for me makes me breakfast, I do the laundry. I love being dependent on him cuz he really does put me first more than my family
The part where you said you had no idea what a loving relationship looked like... hit my feels too deeply. My parents are the same and for the longest time, I assumed constantly arguing was normal couples' behavior.
Omg seriously? My parents were the same but for my whole life I knew i don't want something like that, I want to have better relationship. And all I had was my parents relationship, I didn't know anything else but I still new it wasn't okay, wasn't normal. So it annoys me so much when people say "Aw my parents relationship was crap so I always thought that's how it suppose to be"... really? Come on, everyone has their own brains to figure out what is good, what is bad.
My parents were the same but I knew it was bad :/
paulinagtw i dont know What she meant with her comment, but! My parents fighted so badly all throughout my childhood and i knew it wasn What i wanted. But since i havent seen anything Else i dont know How many fights are too many, and likewise people fight differently, some yell, some usd horrible words and some people doesnt talk at all, gashlightning and so on. It is harder to aknowledge When something isnt right quicker When you havent really seen a healthy relationship. I have an ides What is But it might be too unrealistic. Hope it makes sense, english is not my first language
Frederikke Guldbjerg makes perfect sense. And i agree with everything you said.
Queen Ra I experienced the same thing. My entire family is like that, honestly. My parents always said that it wasn’t really “arguing” or “yelling” it was just communicating and during my relationship with my ex boyfriend there was a point where we would argue about something almost everyday but make up and we were still extremely in love and attracted to each other so I thought this arguing phase was normal but he didn’t... and he came from a more stable family so :( I think it’s important to listen to other people’s perspectives because you can be really easily blinded by the things that you have experienced
I’m only 6 minutes into this video and I’m already crying. I can’t believe you’re literally describing my exact situation right now.
i don't know u at all, but i hope and pray u can grow from this hard time u are experiencing, and in the future truly be happy. i promise u will.
desarae thank you so much, you’re so sweet that means a lot :’)💕
same!! I honestly feel so alone in this situation even tho there's other relationships the same I have no idea what to do
I’m currently going through this. Where are you at now and how do you feel now about the situation 4 months later?
Crying? Haha like 80% of these women are crying on every female content creators video lol
As I write this it is 3 am and I cant sleep. I just broke up with my bf of 8 almost 9 years... I feel terrible. I get on RUclips and see this video. Life is crazy. Love is crazy. Thank you for posting this video.
Did you stay broken up? Like did you successfully stay broken up? Going through same thing.. 9 years 😔
Hey I’m curious to know how are you doing now? I’m going through the same thing
@stephanie gallegos Yes I did and I took about a year and a half to "date myself" finally put myself out there and I found a WAY better love! We've been together for a year and a half now! That was the best decision of my life and it definitely paid off. I hope the best for you! Definitely take time for yourself and grow!
@Spirit waves Much Much happier now with a way better guy! Going on almost 2 years with him and it's the best relationship I've ever had!
"24 is too late in the game...."
LOL I'm just sitting here, age 27, extremely single, and not exactly looking. Oh honey, 24 is so young.
I agree. I broke up with my ex at 27, and we were together for 6 years. I knew I’d rather be single and get to know myself again, and the right person would eventually come along.
Yes it’s the start of the game
I’m 21, most of my friends are already moving in with their bf. I needed to hear this x
My same thoughts when she said 24!... I’m here at 33 and just ended my 7 year relationship a few weeks ago. ☹️
I agree! We have this idea in society that we need to be married or really committed to someone else by a certain age which just isn’t true or healthy. It forces people to stay in bad relationships in fear of being single at an older age. It makes people think they will never find anyone to love them ever again. You know what, a lot of people who get married young end up divorced so just cause their Facebook pictures look happy that doesn’t mean they are.
We all saw this for a reason you guys.
Go on girl, you’ll be fine. 💝
Audriana Roberts thank you ❤️
Thank you 🥺💗
Feel like i hace to end up my life this is it...
needed this
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday whom I still love and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. When we hugged goodbye I didn't want to let him go. But I know it was the right thing to do for both of us. It's hard when emotionally you really do love someone and want them, but logically you know you can't be together. I changed too much over the course of our relationship and my life is going to change even more, (moving away and working harder so less time and effort for him). I feel so thankful to have been with him. And I just hope that one day we can be best friends like we were before everything, best case scenario. I just keep seeing photos of us and the cards he wrote to me and I keep crying at random intervals. I know it's going to get easier eventually, and that instead of crying at those things I will smile at the found memories, but it's really hard right now because I still love him and I have lost my best friend. The future doesn't seem as exciting anymore but I know that will change with time.
Keeping lying to yourself, especially when you leave someone you still love.
It will get better i hope. I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years. I still love him he's my best friend it's incredibly hard but I don't want to settle for just ok. I don't know but it's very hard
Are you feeling better now?
I’m in the exact same situation and I would love to hear from you now that a year has passed.
I hope you’re okay
How are you now.. My situation is also similar😞
@@DJPapzin love alone is not enough. more is needed for a good relationship
My boyfreind and I started dating when I was 17 and he was 19. We just hit 7 years together last week been living together for over 2 years. He is literally my best freind. This video in no way made me question our relationship.
If it did for you, if you feel like that person is dragging you down, it's time to move on. Everyone deserves to live a life that makes them feel whole and wonderful. With or with out a significant other.
I’m in a similar situation as you, my fiancé is my best friend for sure, if anything this video made me scared thinking about if something ever happened to us 😂😂
Has anyone else been in a situation where the other person is amazing, helps u, talks to u, laughs with u, loves u so much, nothings wrong, but for some reason...u just can’t and u cry Bc u don’t feel it and u don’t know why u don’t feel it? Idek it’s weird, this has happened 2 times to me already and it makes me scared that this will happen in all my relationships and I’ll eventually just break up with them.
Noemi Rodriguez yes, I’ve been there.
Look for the answers within yourself. Explore who you are and love yourself. That’s the answer.
That’s me right now and I don’t know if it’s just me being sad or if he actually has some part in it
Are you looking for someone else to make you happy? Are you disconnected from yourself? Maybe you realize they aren’t filling that hole in your heart and it hurts. Unfortunately no one can fill that hole but you. I could be wrong.
Diana Duenas it’s been over a year now that I’ve been alone, and tbh it’s been the best thing I could have done for myself. If u don’t feel it then u don’t feel it. It gets better
yes me rn omg i just feel so alone and i’m scared of hurting him
The thing with not having parents that showcase a healthy relationship hit me hard...
“Will I regret this” “what if this is the best” “what if I’m just being a brat” “I become really dependent”
Literally. I’ve been feeling this for soooo long and I still keep making excuses. The guilt is big too because of our daughter.
It’s so crazy. I literally just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years 3 weeks ago. It was a mutual decision but it feels weird being single after so many years.
How do u cope with your break up?
Same here. Im pretty broken. Probably gonna be awhile Till im over it
Same here! I just broke up with my bf of 8 years and it feels so weird!
Im so glad we are not alone. Just broke up with him we were together 5 years
@@rldromina any advice 🥺
I’m 31 going through this ... talk about feeling late in the game to start over wanting marriage and kids and your partner doesn’t. We are total opposite just like you were.... exact same thing. I’m glad you made a decision and are feeling so much happier now.
Personally if my partner doesn't want kids that's a dealbreaker. That's not something you can wait and hope they change their mind about. I hope you find your happiness and get everything you want in life ❤🌻
@@monicachavez2737 Aww Thanks hun! When we first met I didn't want kids. But as I've gotten older that has slowly changed for me. I'm now at a place where I know i want kids. It's hard having to decide what to do after 6 years. I'm glad that you stand by what you want, that is a great thing to do.
@@Kristina-ek1nc I'm 31 going through this as well. I have no kids and now I feel like I never will..
Merry with me i single ❤❤😍😍💑💑💑🌷🌷
I know this video is from a long time ago, but I came across it because I am ending a five-year-long relationship and I can't even begin to describe how relatable everything you said is! The fear, the guilt, the uncertainty, the confusion, the dependency, everything. It's incredibly hard when you discover you aren't compatible as a couple long term, but you do still care for them and love them and they are practically family to you. It's even harder when all of your friends are getting married and in long term relationships. Thank you so much for this video... it made me feel a lot less alone...I hope being single in my 20's brings a new love for myself and a sense of independence
I know this is an old comment but I hope two years later you’re doing well ❤️
@@TysonASMR omg wow I can't believe you came across this comment! It's so interesting looking back on now. We are both doing really well and everything happened for a reason! I'm living my dream life with my fiance (who is a perfect match for me!) and we'll be getting married next year. My ex is living with his girlfriend and her two kids and they are very happy as a little family. We actually just caught up and we are still on good terms! Thank you for responding that was really thoughtful :)
this randomly popped up ..... and I really needed it as a confirmation. Im gonna go cry now.
I wish I would’ve seen this video sooner!
What I remember from my relationship with my ex (my first ever relationship in fact) was that I was kind of suppressed in a way? Like before I had gotten into that relationship with him, I was always loud and outgoing and cheerful, but during the time I was with him I felt quiet and alone, always sad..
Don’t get me wrong, I did love him and it was a really fun experience but after some time I felt like he was taking me for granted. I felt like I was always in competition for his attention, and I found myself crying every night and feeling like there was a giant hole in my heart. I was unhappy. So of course I told him.
Like you said, it’s hard being the one to break things off, which is exactly what I did. I felt so so so guilty, I cried, he cried, and I spent the next few months wallowing in sadness and regretting my decision. I tried again but after he full on rejected me and took advantage of me liking him (before New Year’s Eve) it finally hit me that he ain’t shit.
I started immersing myself in sports and the gym, reading, working out, working, anything to keep me busy.
It was really hard to not think about him, but then suddenly one day my mind wandered less and less of the thought of him. The fact that he didn’t like me or would find another girl crushed my soul in the past.
But now, Its safe to say that I’m over him. 😊
Aw I relate to this so much! The thought of him finding another girl still crushes my soul but I’m slowly getting over him and falling in love with myself. ❤️
Daniela Lopez you’ll get there girl! Time heals all wounds ❤️
Ashley Marie I can relate to the endless nights of crying & feeling alone. Was with my bf for 6 years, i felt the same way you did.. fighting for his attention & Him taking me for granted. Altho i knew i deserved better & someone that could provide & find me worthy enuf i stayed & was miserable. He ended up flipping everything around & left me but in a way the relationship was dead for a while. Its hard when its your first relationship and there was so much invested but i guess finding who you are & what you want is more. Its been 8 months, its getting easier but i still wonder & have love for him. I hope one day i can truly say im over him. Thank you for sharing!
I relate to this so much..thank u for sharing.
Aww i relate to this so much. I feel like I always have to compete for his time, attention and I became quieter because I'm always wondering "why am I not enough when I used to be everything before" and it really sucks.
I'm proud you had the strenght to move on , I'm so happy you're happy
This is literally my story! 7 years together. Long distance. Moved in together at 6th year. Broke up a year after. Now im happier than ever. I think we should be friends Sam
Never never settle. I met the most amazing man, you will know if things are right because there will be no problem once you move in together, I mean of course in any relationship you fight but you won’t feel the way you were feeling and now I have been married for almost a year, and let me say I had some incompatible relationships in the past and it feels so different when you find the right person
I am single ❤❤
Literally can relate to EVERYTHING you said in this video. I'm going through the most devastating break up right now. Good to know I'm not alone. Thanks for uploading.
I'm 24 and just got out of an 8 year relationship! Everything you said is bang on. I miss her more than anything in the world right now but how will we know if theres someone better unless we try. I'm still upset and hardly sleeping because of the grief but i know it'll get better. If she really is the one, then time apart will prove it by bringing us back together. I just need to live and see how it goes! Thank you for your video! It meant a lot to me x
Dating is so difficult! You should make a video of how you got back into dating!
All I can say is WOW! This was definitely the sign I was looking for. Just like you I was feeling guilty about feeling the way I was feeling and wondering if I was alone!! Thank you so much for this!!!
Loving them but not being IN love 😩 I recently just got out of a 10yr relationship. I have sooo much love for him but I just wasn’t in love with him anymore. Are you guys still friends? Or have any communication at all?
I’m going through a lot as well and you feel alone because you don’t want to hurt the person. But when IS the right time to walk away? Financially I am saving
Same here!! It’s hard but deep down we know deep in our hearts what is best
Can you explain to me how does loving someone still would make you fall out of in love? Can you please explain it to me why because I never get that idea.
And if you still love them can you fall in love again do you believe that or not?
For me I understand it as this: you may love your friends and care about them platonically, but not romantically. So talking out of love would be losing the romantic attraction for someone, but not necessarily the platonic “friendship” love
Omg I just got out of a 6 year relationship. I'm so thankful for this video! It's hard to gain back to yourself and search yourself again after losing your boyfriend/bestfriend because of realizing it was best for us to love ourselves first.
We also moved in together and that's why we finally realized it wouldn't work.
"What if I end things and then end up CHANGING MY MIND..." WAAOW - that is 100% my dilemma right now as I struggle to make a decision if leaving my current boyfriend is a good decision. I just don't know! However it is selfish of me to waste his time just because I can't make up my mind.
How are you now ??
what did you end up doing??
This is why most high school relationships don’t work out past high school because almost everyone needs to go out and grow by themselves and have experiences to see what you want and don’t want! A lot of people change so much after high school and people don’t grow the same way together. I do agree you should move in before marriage to see if you’re truly compatible but it can definitely be tough. The first year I lived with my bf it was hard af. Combing two lives together is hard af. But you can figure it out we’ve been living together for 3 years now and it’s way better 😊 I do know of only one couple that’s stayed together since middle school and are now in mid 20’s getting married but that’s rare!
Brittanie Gonzalez yea I definitely agree with you usually your not mature enough when your in high school to understand what love is and what really goes into a relationship, relationships are no joke ,however, me and my husband are an exception we met in high school I was 15 and he was 17 we were together for 4 and a half years and we just got married last December and moved in with each other for the first time it’s been the most amazing 5 months of my life there were no surprises I just think before you move in with someone you have to be mature enough to understand you’ll do things differently and that’s ok just learn to compromise
Brittanie Gonzalez I agree with you . Btw my brother and his wife been together since middle school . Now they have little girls and have their house they are 29 . 🤭 . She moved in to our home when she was 13 . Lol . And since then she still with my brother .
I always stand by living with someone before you get married. I can understand why people wait, but I felt like I knew everything about my boyfriend but the dynamic of your relationship changes once you live together. I feel like it can potentially be a make or break!
Absolutely!!
Gaea Thomson I agree truly
Do u merry withe am single 😍😍💑💑🌷🌷❤❤
I truly needed this video. It is scary how similar your story is to mine. My boyfriend of 8 years and I broke up in December for the same reasons that you mentioned. Even though I was the one that was dumped, we both just didn’t know what else was out there and felt like our lives were headed in 2 different directions that didn’t include each other. But I relate to your experience so much. After our relationship ended, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I felt like I had always been one half of a whole and I needed to find the other piece of me that was missing. Even though it hurt like hell some days, I went out and tried to get my independence back. And slowly and surely I’m seeing changes in me that I didn’t know were missing before. I feel more comfortable doing things alone now. Even though it would be nice to have someone around, I know I don’t need another person to complete me. I know I’m not ready to date yet, and I know I have more self discovering to do. I agree that it does feel easier to move on when you have a bunch of new things happening. I begin my first “big girl” career in June as a Registered Nurse and I’m excited to throw myself in to that to be the best caretaker I can. I loved this video, it was just the thing I needed to hear to encourage me to keep going. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤️
I randomly found this video and it’s my life right now. I’m 24 and have been in my relationship since 17! My bf treats me so good, but I’m not happy. The past year I’ve felt stuck in my head about leaving, but I don’t know how to. We have an apartment, 2 dogs and my car is in his name. I just don’t know how to “start over”. I had gained so much weight and let myself go. I’m finding myself again and get back to who I was before, making it harder to leave cuz now I feel ready..
You spoke my mind. I didn't cry watching this video. I got a sense of relief that there are more people like me...who have gone through something like I did. I had a relationship for 9.5 years. But it has ended. And now I know it's for good. I'm on my journey to love myself. Thanks for this video
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Everyone around me is pretty irritated even though I know what I did was best for me in the long run. Thank you so much for this.
Merry me am single ❤❤💑💑😍😍😍🌷🌷🌷🌷
I’m literally going through this .. word for word 🤯😢
It sucks so bad, but it gets better!!
Same
Kristina 😥
Same it sucks 💔😓
Octavia Taylor 😩😩 have yall ended the relationship yet ? I’m still in the relationship 😢
The first boy I dated that I actually loved I’m still stuck on. We started dating the summer of my junior year too. We were together for 5 years. I’ve dated since and had a few serious ones but none of them compared to him. I left him and it was the worst decision of my life. I was too young and dumb to realize he was the best thing that happened to me. I cheated on him one night in college. Biggest mistake of my life. He didn’t even leave me when he found out, but he was visiting his mother in Arizona. I told him not to come back and blocked all his calls. I’m still paying for it. So if the guy you are with is practically perfect, and you are just a little bored. Think about what you are going to lose before acting.
Rebecca you are still very young . You’ll will find the one .
Trollonoa Zoro yeah maybe, biggest mistake I ever made. I’ll never forgive myself. I’ll pay for it forever.
Wow. It’s like I needed to read this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. & I love him but sometimes I think about how I don’t know what’s it’s like to be in another relationship & how other relationships are because he was the only person I had been with and he was my first everything. & I honestly feel awful sometimes for thinking that because he’s honestly such a good boyfriend. I love him so much, and I would neeeeever ever cheat, but it’s like I keep getting these intrusive thoughts about only being with one person my whole life. Like sometimes I just wish I would have dated more in high school and experienced things with other people and then met him. :/
M also in a relationship. It has been 5 years now,but i found another guy n unintentionally we started feeling for each other n now it has been 5 months,he knows that m in a relationship but still waiting for me to leave my long relationship.
M so confused whom to choose...
Kayyvr I felt the same way. Then when I did go out into the world of dating, thinking I could find someone better, I realized that I had just left the best thing I could find. That was my experience, but I went about it the wrong way and really hurt someone. Don’t stay if you feel guilty but don’t leave if everything’s good.
You literally described my entire situation right now. My ex and I had a mutual breakup after 4 years on and off and I literally felt the same way. I’m really happy with my decision though so far but it’s still hard losing someone you have that much history with!
My heart hurts hearing this because all of these thoughts are clouding up my mind at the moment 😭 I just hope I can make the right decision, and do what’s best for me and my future.
I kinda knew I wasnt the only one going through this but no one around me ever was in my situation so I'm honestly so shook because you described perfectly my situation. It's like jumping off a cliff and you dont know what's next. I'm so afraid to regret it. So many people say they relate when youtubers share personal stories but it's the first time I really feel that connection. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
Almost exactly as my story. We got together young and broke up after almost 8 years. It was hard and I still had love for him but I wasn’t happy. I’m happier now than if I would have stayed in that relationship. Definitely the best decision I could have made.
I’m 22 and just recently got out of a 6 year relationship. Still adjusting to this change 😫
How are you now?
Fr how are you?
I also want to know how you are now. I’m 1 week out from ending my 7 yr relationship
@@torithompson9031 updates? I'm not sure
I am going through the same. How are you now??
7 years deep and this is EXACTLY how I feel but I’m terrified to break things off.
Before you do, firstly try your best to regain that spark. Think of the good, try your best and realise why you fell in love in the first place. Of course this doesn't apply if there is abuse or manipulation etc, or you have huge differences
8 years n same, oh lord
Same :(
Same Here...8 years and im scared
Same! 7 for me. I’m terrified.
Thank you so much for sharing this 🌟 I know how it feels. On one hand, you’re afraid of losing a person that truly loves you and could be the one, but on the other hand you’re afraid that he’s not the person you’re meant to be with, so you’re waisting your time, while you could be with someone else who actually completes you. I mean, you’re just afraid of ending up alone. I took a long time to realize this, but if you ever doubt if your partner is the one that’s because he’s definitely not the one. And don’t let the fear of loneliness stops you from being happy because I assure you that you’re way more happy by yourself rather than with someone who’s just there...
Although I appreciate the 5 year relationship I had throughout high school. I wish I wouldve made more decisions with myself in mind. And not with our relationship in the forefront.
This
I find myself in that situation right now. I know I should leave but I've become attached
Liz Silva me too girl
God, I so needed to see this right now. I've been having issues with my 4 1/2 year relationship, and I've been feeling alot of these same things. Its feels good to know I'm not alone.
This video is like perfect timing. We moved in 2 weeks into meeting and have been together 6 years. it's hard to lose your partner AND your best-friend, almost feels wrong to "willingly" give up all the things you went through together while transitionning from teenagers to adults.
I had a son with my ex, we had married after having the kid. I met him when I was 18. I just turned 28. I felt like I was taken for granted for providing and being driven to succeed in work to provide for my son's future. He wasn't setting goals for himself, felt insecure, and cheated. Things changed and it was hard. Esther Perel addressed it well: "It's harder to stay than to leave."
You don’t know how much this video means to me right now. I’m about to break it to him soon and I’m so scared. I relate to almost everything you mentioned in this video. Just know that this has helped me with validating my feelings and knowing that I will be okay. Thank you so much for sharing!
I agree 1000% live together before you marry! It is a complete different relationship.
Yes!
I disagree because you shouldn’t play house with someone who isn’t your husband. But that’s just my opinion. They just become your roommate
I completely disagree. If you think you’re only worth a man “kicking the tires”, having you pay half his rent and acting like a wife without the benefit of actually being one, you don’t know your worth. It removes the reason for a man to marry you. Why would he? He will be gaining NOTHING the morning after the wedding that he isn’t already getting. Men don’t have to marry women anymore, they can find one who will act like one anywhere, they don’t have to. Women, respect yourselves more! And FATHERS, RAISE DAUGHTERS WHO KNOW THEIR WORTH, NOT ONES WHO ARE OK WITH BEING TEST DRIVEN.
Shannon H. It’s not about the man? It’s about YOU. If you don’t know who you’re moving in with you’re a) putting yourself in a possibly dangerous situation because sure he’s Prince Charming right now, but once you’re married and legally bound with him maybe he’s not all that sweet behind closed doors, b) possibly moving in with a slob who expects you to be his mommy and slave and now you feel obliged to stay with him because you’re legally attached to him, c) you could find out you’re simply not compatible and don’t share the same values/habits/you’re too opposite or whatever. You should know your worth, and that includes knowing you are not in a relationship JUST for that other person. If you think living with your partner is a test drive, you’d be a 1000% correct, but it’s a test drive on BOTH ends. YOU’RE making sure HE’s not an abusive person, or a slob, or someone who you’re incompatible with, and he should be doing the same with you. If you think marriage is about forcing your husband to be with you to “get” something out of you he can’t get beforehand, I truly hope you find someone who won’t take advantage of your backwards logic to put you in a situation you can’t get out of. You don’t belong to anyone, married or not, and your partner doesn’t belong to you, married or not.
@@fergieestaenlacasa sweetie 90% of live in relationships dont end up marrying is because a man doesnt have to marry you to get "wifey" duties. a woman is a gift, not the man. as far as abuse and cleaning habits etc, you can vet all that BEFORE moving in / marrying someone. there are plenty of red flags you can find of abuse before moving in with someone. i've moved in with female roommates before and i dont want to do that with a man. im not splitting bills with a man or going half on rent with a man. live in relationships benefit men more because they have someone to split bills and rent with.
Glad other people are going through this. When leaving a long term relationship, it feels scary and like you're alone. I recently had a 12 year relationship end. Changing paths and future desires/ wants. Very sad at times, but some days are good while finding yourself again.
Florida21Girl Yes!
I lasted for 7 years and I am now 30 and newly single, this hurts a lot right now but I’m thankful for finding this video. I’m terrified of what’s to come and fear I’ll never get a chance to have children 😞 I’m just trying to keep the hope.
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This has hit me at home. I’m 1 year into a joint lease and a 3 year relationship and feeling exactly how you said just not happy. Everything you said is exactly how I feel and so happy to hear someone else was there. Hearing other people talk about it helps me realize I’m not being negative. Thank you so much.
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Here after ending just a 7 month relationship. I was always the girl in relationships. I knew I never found myself. When I was with him I knew I had to leave. We were different people. Different ways at looking at life. But he’s a good guy. I’m in the sad, cry every day phase. Thank you for this video and the comments. I’m trying to heal and find myself finally. I’m 25 years old, and I’m just now starting this journey.
This is how I felt because my ex and I were at two different phases of our life that didn’t align as much as we wanted to. We were together for 8.5 years and it’s been over 1.5 years since I ended the relationship. The best advice I received was feel everything instead of pushing it away. I still have my moments of sadness and regret but I know what I did was for myself. I’m staying strong and Enjoying my life right now.
I definitely agree with you that a couple should live together before getting married. You truly never know a person until you live with them. My boyfriend and I just hit 7 years together last month and we’ve been together since we were 15. We moved in together about a year and a half ago and it was certainly a test for our relationship.
I’m on the same timeline as you and we’re looking for places .. I’m nervous girl
Crying watching this because of how much I relate. Grateful for this video, gives me some hope. Moving on is so hard. Much love girl.
You are so inspirational and the fact that you had the the courage to break up after 7 years says that you love yourself and put yourself first. Truly courageous
Having problems in a 6 year relationship and watching this video really let me understand there are a lot of people out there facing the same thing and questioning themselves the same thing. I feel better already
Are you still together?
Wow. I feel like I’m literally hearing you say my exact situation as if I told you word from word. WOW just wow. thank you for this video.
I absolutely love the way you explained all of this. You put exactly into words what I've been thinking/feeling for the past 10 months after breaking up with my ex of 4 years and being with him since I was 15. A lot of things happened at the end I wish could have turned out differently, because it had just been building for so long, it's sad that we can't even be friends or talk now. Anyway, im so happy you made this video. Thank you. You stole the words right out of my mouth, every last word. I'm happy to say I feel the same individuality and Independence as you do now, and it's so great, no matter how much your world has to flip completely upside down to get here. You rock girl, keep it goin. I love the girl talks!! 💖
I cannot explain how helpful this is to hear someone went through exactly the same thing. You helped me sooo much
Your wish that this would be a sign for someone has been granted. Thank You So Much
ALL the yes! I was in a 5 year relationship from when I was 16 (almost 17) until I was 22. He broke up with me a week after proposing, then I found out that he had cheated on me with his now wife. It was super hard, and it took me a long time to heal. Heck, even these days there little bits of healing I'm still doing. I'm 27 now, but I love who I am and who I have become because I had time to be single, find myself, and realize who I wanted to be as a person and as a partner to be better for my current partner now. It's a new chapter which is scary and exciting, but at the end of the day, healing happens over time, and independence comes with it too. You're a rockstar!
Your relationship life is literally mine in paper. As of now I am going through the same thing. The hardest part that still brings me back to tears is leaving our dogs we had together. I am excited to love myself again. You’re amazing, thank you so much for this video!
Oh girl!!
Same thing! Started dating an amazing guy at 16, dated for 9 years and I just ended things 3 months back for similar reasons. It just didnt feel right. Im riding the roller coaster of guilt and confusion still so this helped me so much! Thank you! Please do another on dating for the first time etc!!
wow i feel this so hard. no one ever tells you about breaking up with someone to be alone, or even about breaking up with someone who isn't "bad". It's so rough but I think it's so important in your 20s to really have that time to yourself that I think is so undervalued :// thank you sm for this video - making me feel like i'm not a horrible person.
The guilt is the worst!! I havnt broken up with my partner yet but i feel so guilty even thinking that i want to. And it kills me to think of hurting him. And im so scared i will regret this and it will be too late. Tearing me up inside. Hes all ive known for 10 years, my first serious relationship, i cant imagine not having him around but im not happy, i dont think he is either. But we both love each other so much it fkn sucks!!!
Girl, I am so proud of you. You chose yourself- you chose the woman you sincerely suspect you are desired to become.
i went through such a similar situation (time frame, age, worries about dating, logistics, dependancy) one year ago. glad you’re putting this out now because like you, i needed something like this too when it all went down ! thanks for putting it out there gf :)
It's always so nice to know we're not alone!
This sounds almost exactly the same as what I am experiencing now- even down to your parents relationship.
This brought me so much comfort
I literally can’t thank you enough for making this video omg. This is so helpful just knowing that I’m not alone with this feeling of loving someone but not being in love and not being able to see a future with them.
Guy here. I just wanna thank the creator of this video for expressing a lot. It helped me come to terms with questions. Although 30 y/o. the factors of a relationship transcend ages. after contemplating this thought of breaking up for two years out of a near 5 year relationship has finally come to an end. its happening today.... I hope to gain whatever momentum i can from this and become stronger. Don't get me wrong, this had no bad blood on my side. I just felt plain and simple, i need to experience life on my own, and that the necessary love for her and the relationship wasnt there.
again thank you to all the posts over the years i've read. thank you for helping me move forward.
PLEASE MAKE A VIDEO ON HOW YOU BROKE UP, HOW YOU CONFRONTED HIM WITH THIS ANS HOW HE REACTED AND ALL THAT
that`s none of our business... this is not a drama show... these are real people
@@sandrapereiiira maybe she wants an idea how to do it for herself.
@@shriyasrivaz3369 the way she wrote makes it look like she clearly just wants to be nosy and hear all about it ...but yeah lets giver her the benefit of the doubt and believe she wanted to get advice on how to do it
Then why the fuck are you broadcasting it the internet when it’s gonna be there forever, why are you making a video on “why we broke up after 7 years” it’s only fair to get the guys point of view.
I feel you girl!!! I totally do. The hardest thing to do is leaving a partnership, I think it just hurts knowing you will break someones heart. I felt this ♥️ beautiful video. You gotta do whats right for you, even if it means leaving someone whose still in love with you.
I just ended my 5 year relationship today and this is strangely the exact same way I feel. So I really needed this and I appreciate you making this video❤️
Thank you so much for this. I'm in the process of ending an almost 10 year relationship, and it's so nice to have someone to relate to. It's amazing to have my feelings validated. You don't have to hate someone to want to end a relationship. I'm only 27, so the same boat, only serious relationship of my life, and the same situation of never having a positive relationship example to base it off of. It sucks feeling like you're ruining someone's life, but when it comes to the point of either ruining someone else's life or your own, it's the point of no return.
It wasn't far into my relationship that I started to feel like my identity was being taken away from me. There was a lot of control, and emotional abuse going on. I would eventually try to stand up for myself and things would improve but they never stayed that way. You've given me so much hope and strength with this video. Thank you again.
I can definitely relate... it’s been a year that I broke off my 9 year relationship, almost a decade of being with my ex. And just like you mentioned, no one cheated or did anything crazy. He just didn’t value me... very little effort towards me and I was overwhelmed of giving it my all. Simply doing my very best for him to see my worth. (Which no woman should do). So when I broke it off I was heart broken and I felt VERY GUILTY. Guilty for wanting to move on. Guilty because for once in all the 9 years I chose to put myself first.
I’m now 31 and still have hope I’ll meet my soul mate 😊 🤞🏼
That being said, I’m happy I came across this video. I needed to relate to someone and I’m glad I did. Thank you Sam. 🌻 Wishing you the very best and I’m so proud that you made this big decision as well.
Wow I did not realize you started dating him so young! Love this series bring it allllll the way back lol
Goddamn this is so relatable. Just got out of a 2 and a half year long relationship and feeling really conflicted about the decision. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thank you
you took everything I can't put into words and made a video. thank you so much for opening up
I thank you for this video, i resonated so deeply with what I'm going on right now, my bf broke up with me during quaratine bc he felt uncertain about our relashionship and because he wanted to find himself. And while I still love him and this hurts me, I respect what he wants. i also, can now also see the relashionship from an outwards perspective. Your video makes me hope that in the future I will feel less guilty, less shame and perhaps in the long run, happy again
You're never late in the game. I left my two year relationship earlier this year because my ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. I'm 31. You never know what life will bring.
Hello do you need help to restore back your broken marriage/relationship, get/ reunite with your Ex, soulmate, specific person or banish third party from your relationship
This video helped me a lot thank you so much. I’ve been in an abusive relationship since I was 14 and I’m now 20. I’m trying to figure out what to do and how to get out of it. Sadly, we’re married so it’s a little harder but knowing someone that went through the same feelings makes me feel better! Thank you again.
I applaud you for making it seven years! I can’t get through two without already having my doubts
F***. Maybe I shouldn't of clicked on this video because it was definitely a sign.............. But I love your videos Sam! Thank you for sharing your story. xoxo
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has doubted their relationship and felt so guilty. When you talked about dating and maybe finding someone who’s more compatible with you, I feel that. Exploring yourself, gaining back your independence. All of it. I’m just happy I’m not a dick for not feeling satisfied, though I truly love and deeply care about my significant other.
This helped me so much, thank you! I can’t tell you how much I needed this 🙌🏼 I’ve been settling for a long time and I’m doing something selfish for once even after a long term relationship
My 17 year relationship just ended and I’ve never felt so lost. This video couldn’t have popped up at a better time. Thank you for making this. I’ll attempt to get to know who I am better and will look forward to what the future has in store. Again, thank you for the relief this video has given me.
Same here. It's almost a year of a break up in my life, also 17 years together. I wonder what will come next