Stop Making THIS Mistake With Women
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Overcommunicating ideas to your woman is a recipe for disaster, stop talking to her about your struggles in life, she doesn't care.
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#Communication #Dating #Love
NEVER be open about your problems with any woman. 90% just don't care and the 10% that care won't help you.
I never done that. GUys cock blocking me from getting a woman is my biggest problem once I conquerer her she's mine and i"ll never make mistakes but guys are constantly not letting me talk to a woman to get her to a point where I can talk to her. It's really sad these bums can't get woman so they'll shit on me so I won't have women either. Once I get a girlfriend we good bro.
@@JDOGFTW fake
Some care. If you include them in discussions, not just complain. And I dont have problems in life. I have challenges.
@@JDOGFTW This comment doesn't make sence at all. HOW in the world are other men ''not letting you'' talk to a woman?
True
Truth, I had a wife in a successful marketing company I got to hear all of her problems daily after work at happy hour got to help solve them too. In my businesses was like pulling hens teeth to get a return critique from her. They don't want to hear it or help with it. It's up us to have other guys to bounce that stuff off of. I'm now divorced still a six figure guy. I love this channel because it reinforces what my gut always told me but the world wouldn't.
My dads been married 40 years. Said to me" is my wife(my mom) really my best friend if I cant be open and honest with her." Ill never forget that. Women cant handle the truth you must paint a rosey picture of everything. Men you are on your OWN!!
1000000% this. Time to grow up,you are on your OWN as a man.
Yesterday I sat there at a local coffee shop, surrounded by women and their kids - I realised, likely none of them would piss on me if I was on fire - we really are disposable and disregarded - men have to back each other.
I don't understand what this is trying to say. The typos are making it hard for me to understand.
@@headsyouwintailsilose637Sucks to be you
@@benjamindixon4825 Was the quote meant to be in the form of a question?
In 27 years of marriage my wife never saw me cry. That changed when our son died. I was surprised at her negative reaction to it. The fact that I couldn't share my grief only made a horrible situation worse.
I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I have seen what the death of a son/daughter does to a couple. Many marriages do not survive this. I wish you both the best.
@@CosineKitty Thank you for your kindness.
My deepest condolences Thomas for the loss of your son. No parent should have to bury their children. Stay strong man.
@@SuperJamie30 Thanks. Of course, you're right. No one should outlive their kids.
Don’t get surprised if she cheat on you.
That’s his heartless they are…
The same women who later complain about their men being emotionally unavailable or being too defensive emotionally. Then you open up and they see you as weaker.
This is 100% true.
I figured this out long before and once I started keeping my complaints to myself my frame is much improved.
She does NOT want to hear about how shitty your day was, how hard you worked, your financial or goal orientated stress, etc...
If you want to be captain of the ship, stop bitching to the crew, everyone has grievances, no one wants to hear it.
There IS unconditional love in the world. If you were lucky you experienced it from your mom when you were a baby. Once you are a man, you only get unconditional love from yourself (and from God if that is your belief). This is only a problem if you expect otherwise. Embrace being a man and understand what it means.
In the era of efenism are women prone to murrmurr and complain too about their issues?
@@driftlesswindsfarm2129 No such thing as unconditional love. Some people don't love themselves.
@@driftlesswindsfarm2129 HAIL SATAN!
Excellent advice. I myself almost had my wife almost leave because I went though a period where I was whining too much. This advice is right on. I went back to being the problem solver and using my core group of guys to bounce my issues off of and my marriage went back to being strong. You definitely cannot rely on your wife to be your therapist, if you do that’s a sure way to get her to leave you fast.
What’s the point of having a wife if you can’t even talk to her then when problems pop up?
Or just Self Respect
@@daydreamdirty exactly, like why do I gotta be the shoulder for you to cry on, but I cant even talk to you
That's the way women are. I think I talked to my wife to much
Whining helps if the problem is minor and doesn't really require fixing. In you case, could it be that your situation at work started affecting your energy and causing you to act out your frustration from work onto your wife when she wasn't the one to cause you problems at all?
I speak from personal experience with my ex bf when he had health, ex family and work problems that made him down and I needed to walk on egg shells around him. He became extra grumpy when I was not perfect to support him. For example, I listened to him, suggested solutions, cooked and ran errands for him but he got upset because I didn't laugh at his joke🤷♀️
Truth, unfortunately. I was traumatically injured which caused me immense depression/hopelessness for the first time in my life while I was funding the remodeling of our "forever home" decked out to her spec. I confided in my "partner in life" of 10 years, and just a month or two later she was talking to other men. I discovered it a couple months later as we moved back into our dream home, proceeded with couples therapy and she filed for divorce 3 months later. Unfortunate that women can't truly be there for you when you need them most.
That’s absolutely disgraceful 😬🤦🏻♂️
Will you be there for your wife if she loses one of her limb in some accident or something makes her ugly? You will be with the next chic isn't it? Then why to listen your stupid problems. Grow up and be a man.
the point is that women will never “be there for you” - its not in their interest too. Once upon a time they wouldnt have survived if they had “been there” for a loser
@@codingiscreativity Umm, yeah I would be there for her. Would not be with the next chick.
@@Driv300mph good for you. Statistics shows it's not how it goes . You might be exception to the rules.
Wow, this is spot on. I had a year and a half LTR with a girl with crippling migraines (red flag #1, that only got worse because she rarely took her meds red flag #2). I told her about some issues I was having at work after my new promotion. I only brought it up so we weren’t always talking about her migraines that she never did anything about. 2 days later we broke up. Oh well, I was already planning on getting out, she just beat me to the punch. Never sharing my struggles with a women again.
Never tell a woman anything private about yourself. Especially something privately sexual. If you break up they will for sure use it against you or tell people. From experience 😎
I have been married to a good woman for 26+ years. The ideas presented here are valid, but I would like to add a couple of things. It's OK to have problems, and it's OK for something to be bothering you. Women can tell if something is wrong, and if you hide it from her or try to pretend, it won't fly. Be real, let her know what's going on. Most importantly, tell her how you intend to fix it. DO NOT BE A VICTIM. If you need to work through issues, childhood trauma, PTSD, whatever, do yourself and your marriage a favor and get professional therapeutic help. If you own your problems, take them on with the intention of victory, and a woman leaves you because she discovers you aren't superman, then you are better off without her.
Yeah there are bumps in the road, and sometimes its through a brick wall. I remember confiding with my wife that I had a real problem, but its just another one of those that I fixed.She will understand you are human. I expect her to deal with problems as well, and she does.
Except that you can not not be a victim in every situation, it happens, were not in control of everything
These are wise words 👍🏼
@@juniorninjaman865 I understand what you mean, and what I wrote could use some clarification. When I said don't be a victim, I don't mean "never lose". Sooner or later, everyone loses or fails or gets cheated or defeated. And eventually, we all die. But no matter what, you don't have to be a victim. This is a key idea in stoic philosophy. A victim is someone who has crippled himself with a poor attitude of not taking responsibility, being stuck in permanent resentment or blaming or whining. It's OK to be discouraged and feel like giving up for a while. But process it, vent the feelings for a day or two (I like splitting firewood with an axe), then figure out what is your best next move and do it. If you wake up every day and do the best you can with the cards you have in your hand, you are not a victim, regardless of the outcome.
Believe this is spot on
this is even more sad when u realize that not even ur own flesh and blood is exempt from this. I learned this the hard way with my sister. Needless to say i dont talk to her anymore.
You're absolutely right 🥶
That's just sad man
Was dating this chick, she complained I wasn't open enough, decided to open up to her, next week tries to put me in the friendzone, instantly said no and learned my lesson, Never open up your emotions to women
My ex spent months trying to open me up..didn't take long for her to switch off and dump me once i did!
@@dbag57 you don't get it. Opening up doesn't mean looking like a bitch. It means communicate to her to make her feel good. Sell her a dream make her hot.
@Cubz - Unfortunately, many women are true agents of chaos and confusion. They really don't know what's in their own best interests. They will often wreck their own homes by mindlessly parroting foolish ideas they've picked up from social media or from their equally stupid girlfriends.
Classic shit test. You were bound to lose regardless brother, fuck the 304 she aint worth your time
Rich, I’m an older guy and I wanted to let you and your audience know that video is 100 % spot on accurate. I know through decades of experience..
This is soooo true. My wife always tells me at the end of the day, “let’s talk about our day,” but when it’s my turn to talk she never wants to hear me tell her about my day. She wants me to say “I had a great day, now tell me again what happened with your day.” She is always turned off when I start telling her what actually happens in my day. I keep it super short and then ask again about her day.
My mom is that way it’s annoying lol
This is spot on. I wish I would have known this in my last marriage. She went to Matt from sales. Lesson learned.
this is the truth.... every time i over communicate. they say they want vulnerable. THEY DONT. once they smell weakness, game over
Hahahaha, be careful..
Always watch your mouth is gonna saying.
I’ve been married to a good woman for 29 years. About 22 years ago, I had a business venture go belly up and it really shook me. I was hanging on in one day at a time mode. She stood by me and supported me though I could really see the fear in her face. We men need to be their heroes. They need us to be heroes.
Just ask yourself this question: "Does my behavior make her feel safe?" If the answer is "no", stop doing it.
Does my earning 300k per year help her feel safe. If the answer is no, time to earn 3000k.
As someone who lost TWO marriages by overly opening up and being vulnerable, you young players best listen to this advice. Never again.
Spot on julian, never tell anyone things they can use against you.
That is cold hard truth and very valuable. I was married to the same woman for 30 years & I can see how I made this mistake and how she reacted. You nailed it! Women just hang out at the finish line and F the winners.
Thank you for helping us men. We need more men like you, never stop doing this my guy. The culture has abandoned us men.
Men are.. through history, the one who shaped the culture, but they are victim blaming themselves nowadays.
Richard,
I have been doing some soul searching after my marriage of 21 years has ended. I bought your book and it is so true!! This video is THE REASON my marriage has failed. Do not believe that BS of being a talker! Other men out there, be the strong silent type!
This guy at work told me his brother's wife left him while he was terminally ill because she "didn't want to deal with it". So after the guy passed away, the ex didn't get 1 cent from the house, his pension or any other assets. How do you explain that?
I see two possibilities:
1. He probably didn’t have a Will written out with his lawyers.
2. He had a Will and enlisted his heirs which didn’t include the ex.
Why do you need more explanation from it..
Doing the opposite would be considered as moronic.
Good planning
Everything he says is true but ask yourself if your woman will be with you if you get sick and weak. You can hide your problems from her until you can’t.
Mine didn't
Got sick she left with the kids
@@piethein7564 Same deal. I’m a cancer survivor but not a marriage one!
good point.
she is not your friend
My mum stuck by my Dad while he died of Cancer, then she got with her current partner, he contracted and started dying of Swine Flu and she dropped everything to care for him - she's a classy english lady, a strong feminine woman - her daughter (my sister) is the most selfish, manipulative person in the world - maybe it's a generation thing.
I hope I meet a woman who is half the person my mother is.
Best content on RUclips
Certainly the most useful.
I was speaking to my friend about this the other day and he got really angry and triggered...he disagreed strongly at the same time as saying that he had lost all his girlfriends when he went through periods of depression!
depression is for losers, weak mentality or weak souls
Sounds like heavy ego investment. That sucks for him, but that's the blue pill right? Can't save them all. I'm finding that out as well.
Not to mention the fact that when they get pissed off at you or when you break up all the problems you confided will be twisted around and used against you!
To sum up this video :
Communicate, but don't complain. There is a difference.
Im glad someone said this. Dont call her and ask her what to do. She ain't your mom.
What I do is I don't really talk about my personal thoughts too much with women. Even my Women friends. My female friend JC said that I was like a mystery to her. That made my day. I don't express anything on my Facebook page about my woes for the most part. All men should control the optics of their lives.
Back in the '90s, a female co-worker said to me, "why don't you men cry in front of us?"
I said, "Do you REALLY want to see your boyfriend doing that? Think about it."
She was all quiet afterwards...
solipsism at its finest...
I had my "redpill awakening" really set into place when I was early into college, and I was going through a hard place while my finance then girl at the time (who was on birth control, never again) told me she thought I was childish and didn't have my shit in order, comparing me to her (surprise) successful business owner father. She then later apologized and blamed the hormone overflow from the medication, but it showed me an ugly truth and she knows I know it. I almost keep her at a distant, and it was there after that I started getting my shit in order. I'm the man now, and we're both happier for it.
Thanks Rich.
Oh I learned this long ago. Was dating and living with a woman. Every time she had the sniffles, she demanded 100% care and attention. ONE time I got the flu! Felt like shit! I wanted a little pampering myself. She made me feel so inept and refused to wait on me like I did for her! That told me I definitely shouldn't buy this woman a ring! Thank God I avoided that nightmare. She's been divorced 3 times since our relationship!
I was very close to my mother, she died in 2019 after a long battle of any kind of cancer you can imagine,.....she got at all.
She died at 81 in my hand at the hospital.....and surprisingly I was not devasted compare to the rest of the family....that moment give me strength and proudness she was my mother.
1) With a lot of women you have to be 100 percent perfect, 100 percent of the time. You can't ever have a single problem, or they will tell their friends, "He's a man-child."
2) Given #1, why bother with having a woman in your life? What value is she bringing to me if I can't be myself, if I can't ever have a problem? If watching what I say is going to be another stressor in life, then better to not be with a woman at all.
You suggest going gay?
@@lowbloodprsure It's ok. You can go gay if you want.
LOL so true. I was injured by a "doctor" and subsequently had depression/anxiety for the first time in my life while I was funding the remodel of our "forever home" decked out to her spec. My wife of 6 years called me a manchild to her friends and 3 other men she was talking to.
Before you volunteer any info, ask yourself, what will happen if I share my thoughts?
I have been with the same woman for more than 3 decades. Some things I choose to share. Other things, no.
@@CaptainLeftHook thanks for the intrest. I'll treat you better than your ex wife.
“Everyone has bad things happen to them. What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate.”
- Donald J. Trump
It's a good quote but Trump is going against his own advice. He lost the election and didn't have the integrity to own it.
Chasing a woman is as chasing your shadow. The more you chase it, the more it will evade you. Also, sadly, as your shadow, when it gets dark, your shadow disappears. Women leave men when hard times come.
So, always stays in the bright side. 🤔
Most women have extremely selfish and self absorbed mindset. They will choose and stick with a man as long as he provides money/resources. I have seen it in real life and it is so sickening and heart breaking how men who have invested time and money into a relationship are ripped apart in the end by women. 🧐
So true!
Cold truth.
You should only be shocked at first reckoning..
That’s their biology for survival
Most are like 5 year olds emotionally
As a woman I find your videos super interesting. I actually learn a lot about myself, as your points explain many situations or small irritations that I’ve had, of which I wasn’t really aware about why certain things bothered me.
Trying to learn about all this psychology to be the best girlfriend to my boyfriend and support him in every way.
Where were you, Isabella, when I married my conniving, scheming, narcissist wife in 1984? I Hope you have a joyful and fulfilling marriage, and raise happy, well-adjusted children.
that's nice
when did you transition?
Yep, when they keep wanting you to open up, be very careful with how you convey things.
I like these types of reminders
One morning after an extremely shitty night at work, I complained to my Korean wife. Her terse response was immediate and blunt. She said, "Don't complain to me about you work!" It was at that point that I knew this creature would never care about my wellbeing or my emotional state. I thought she was supposed to be my confidant. Men, they don't love, care, or respect you, or what you have to go through. You just keep putting yourself through the torment, and provide her with a comfortable, stress free life. That's your job. And the best part is she gets to deny you and neglect your needs all the time.
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Rich - you're 100% on point with this one!
This is all true. Many dudes know this, but don't like it, don't want to except it. I personally don't want to be a "leader" and all that. It's like if you cant talk about problems with the woman, "burden" her for one minute without her getting turned off, then what good is she besides the obvious biological stuff?I guess it's like what you say, if you want unconditional love, GET A DOG
A woman wants to be able to look up to a man the way she looked up to her dad when she was a little girl
Rich….. man! I love your content! It’s soooo honest, useful, practical. and “Women hang out at the finish line and they pick the winner’s” Love that one! You deal out fantastic advice brother 💪🏾”
In other words don't have "Diarrhea Of The Mouth". It's the same with women. Don't whine and nag on a guy!
This is so on point. I never talk to a woman that I'm in a relationship with about my problems. It can make a man appear weak.
I agree totally about the over emoting. Ironically, I agree with a lot of your content. Bless your man work!
Never tell them your sorry!
Not only does she not want to hear it, she will have a mini meltdown & destroy your peace by hounding you about it incessantly. Same goes with emotional problems. She just will not let you forget about it & will keep bringing it up even when you're enjoying yourself. Then ask "why don't men ever want to talk about their problems?"
Every time I listen to Rich and Aaron Clarey I regret I didn't have their material 20 years ago when I was a younger man. Would've avoided sooo much frustration and wasted time and energy having access to these basic, cold hard facts, which are 180 degrees opposite of the nonsense being drummed into people when they are growing up in the West. Still better late than never.
"wish I had their material 20 years ago"....for me it's 40 years ago!
this is SOOOOOO effing true. Nailed!
I’ve been married to a beautiful woman for 15 years. This advice is excellent. You always hear the opposite in movies and media, but in real life the ability to “man up” and keep it to yourself is what they really want. Spot on.
You got this one 100% correct.
If she sees that you are getting crushed by circumstances in life but you still have a warrior's attitude you are going to be ok. I just had COVID and my lady definitely helped me out at my low points (particularly the days I had my kids AND COVID). But she is used to me NOT asking for help, NOT complaining, and getting after it in life 95% of the time.
And if you are really struggling in life emotionally, that's OK, but in this day and age, it is more adaptive to rely on a therapist for that. It's good to share emotions with friends and your lady, but don't RELY on them (i.e. make it occasional and a part of building the connection with them - but not treating them like your therapist).
I agree. also build yourself up so you can walk at any point and be fine. She should be a compliment more or less not a drag ! also if they are that fickle, bye.
Just today: a female I am working with... her husband calls, looking for direction from her. The rest of the day she was pissed off and I could hardly work with her.
If you do that, tell her you’re going through a bump, BUT you know the solution. Always end with a positive
Great video Rich, much needed.
Imagine living in a society where women are so emotionally inept they can't or won't be interested in helping you with your issues. There's a marked difference between embracing a victim mentality and being able to lean on your woman when you need to open up and unload.
Yeah society is fucked already, every part of it is, fucked. Feminism to tyranny
no there is no difference there...
you want to be or act like a women...then don't be surprised she loses attraction.
These are the rules of nature.
Accept it or like what you doing now..be a victim and cry about it.
@@lok6314 You sound like a damaged man who never had the benefit of a woman's genuine affection and trust. If you cannot differentiate between a victim mentality and occasionally needing to emotionally fall back on someone who's devoted to you, you need counseling.
@@SirShiv7 you sound like a mommy boy who never learned to become a man
@@lok6314 See how you're relying on ad hominems, the same way a woman argues? Get counseling, man. You have a lot of anger.
100% truth. I saw many divorces in prison because the "loyal" wives didn't want to put up with the negativity...
Not only do they not care about your job or complaints. They simply don’t want to ever hear about anything wrong with you, ever. Sick? Cancer? Terminal illness? They do not want to hear about it. Toughen up. They respect you if you suffer in silence.
As for having a group of men who you can give and receive advice:
Not all men are good for advice in all areas. Most have one or two areas they do really well in and have the understanding to communicate it to you. Likewise, you might find that you have strength in specific areas and you should be willing to share those things with other men as well.
You ARE your circle of friends.
@@alonzor.2912 It will cause you many problems when they couldn't solve their issue while doing work together.
They don't care, they say they do but they don't.
So much truth, as usual...
We are conditioned, virtually from birth, to think and act in a certain way in any given situation. And he’s right. Most of it is comforting lies and misinformation. Rewire your thinking. Take off the rose coloured glasses and see things for what they are. Being deceived is easy, but only if you allow it to be.
Guy I knew was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Next thing that happens: His girlfriend left him. True story
This video is true! I dated a woman for two months and she was completely into me, texting first, selfies, going along with all my plans, never a "no" to me, the whole nine yards. Then, she asked me about my family, and I gave her the story of my jinky relationship with my parents and how I cant figure it out. I swear to God, she treated me differently immediately after my little sob story. She sort of pulled back a bit, and slowly the entire thing went into the "friend zone" within another 4 weeks. God, I wish I saw this "truth bomb" video first. 💣
On the other hand it worked out, by her self-deselecting it saved you a lot of time. If she cant handle even knowing your background like that than shes not going to be around when something actually bad happens.
Rich….. man! I love your content! It’s soooo honest, useful, practical.
They don’t understand the shit we would have to complain about anyway. Like when your football team loses a must win game. Pain like that they just can’t understand.
This is a hard habit to break these days. But it is so spot on.
Yes, this is so true (I'm a woman). Thanks for making it clear, men and women are different and this is the way it is. I've had that experience. Richard, any clones of you around? I want one! 🤣💜
Thanks for the help broski.
Absolutely right. If you find yourself unable to bounce things off other dude's and gain advice that way, thrash it out alone or seek advice from other sources.
Having a relationship with a women is definitely hard because of how the law systems are these days. But as long as your carful take the right steps ALWAYS have protection, you should be able to not get screwed to hard by the law. Also Rich another AMAZING video and GREAT advice.
When any kind of woman starts hacking on about whats in my head i tend to see it as a setup of sorts towards manipulation. I do not answer or answer as much nothing as possible and i often see this questioning as an unnatural way of asking things.
...she might not want to hear about your problems, but....you will hear all about every one of hers. I have little patience for that anymore.
Never explain. Never complain.
I loved your book, finished it in one day and going to re read it 🙌🏻
Can’t wait to see what you put out next Rich!
Any man reading this, pick up that book. Do the work, and become great!
A board of directors!
Solid information 🏆
I just finished listening 🎶 to Audible version The Unplugged Alpha it's a very straight to the point book 📖👌 educational for Men of all ages.
If a girl bumped into Brad Pitt would she spend 3 hours telling him all her problems? No she'd drop to her knees. Therefore I am not going to sit there for 2 hours listening to her crap either. You don't get thanked for it.
Yep, this is how i killed my last relationship
The juice isn't worth the squeeze. I'd rather be alone than to play mental games every day for the rest of my life.
Exactly
Awesome Rich!! 💎💎💎
Not just women you date. Your mother, your grandmother, your sister, your aunt, your female boss, your female co-workers will resent you if you are always moaning. Women need men to be strong period.
This is excellent advice. It helps a lot to know these things.
I told my girlfreind that I am struggling with my business and money, what can I do to fix it? Not bring it up again? I only told her today.
Board of Directors , excellent concept for accountability and development, chapeau
I watch this channel for a long time this the best video i see in a while anywhere. Starting to think about this book really.
One of your most important videos!
Absolutely True
Absolutely
Thanks for the vids 👍🏻
Uncle Rich at it again 🙂
keep posting and reaching those that need to see and hear this. there are many dudes out there falling prey to this "new age virtue signalling" spree of nonsense.
Do not make others do your emotional labor. No one likes to be utilized as a free therapist.
Absolutely correct…. Listen with your eyes!!!
I was with a man who’s ex wife committed suicide, and when his son (my step-son) was struggling (cutting himself) my man started crying and saying “why did she (his dead ex) leave me?, boo hoo hoo poor me”. I was suddenly extremely disgusted by him and felt betrayed by his desire for his ex in that moment.