Red flags. -50/50 financial responsibilities -Abusive physically and mentally -Signs of always supporting the parents irrespective of your own opinion(taking side with parents) -If he ask you to change something about yourself before he marries you. -If he disrespects your family -If he earns haraam income(Haraam sustainance) Maa Shaa Allah you got a subscriber today(sister)
May Allah grant us all righteous spouses and children who are the coolness of our eyes and give us and our families an excellent end and resurrect us with the righteous. Ameen.
I cancelled my wedding last moment cause I was putting up with all these until I couldn’t care what will people say in my desi culture- I’m happy being single than be in a wrong marriage only so people can be quiet
I kept being told about Asiah and how she was patient after my husband had choked me, throw pots at me multiple times, thrown a wood dresser and screamed at me all the time. Now i did all that and am now feeling more spiritually weak than i ever have in my life. Ive been gone for a year now and am waiting for a divorce but ppl still make me feel like i made the wrong decision. Please make dua that i can find a good man soon insha'Allah i dont know what i did to deserve a husband like that and feel like allah ta'ala's wrath is on me
Subhanallah! You absolutely made the right decision. People trying to shame you and comparing you to Asiah are pretty shameless in my opinion because do they realize they are basically saying “you are married to a Firawn, why can’t you just suck it up and deal with it? “ In shaa Allah you will find a much better man who will treat you so right and make you so happy. May Allah grant you a good marriage and many years of happiness ahead
Part of our duty as Muslims is to prevent oppression to others and ourselves. Sabr is persevering in faith with Allah, not just sitting and taking abuse. You absolutely made the right decision for you and islamically as well. Abuse is the most basic and valid reason for divorce Im so sorry your husband abused you like this. IsA Allah will raise your ranks and reward you immensely for the pain you've been through. And will give your husband more than a taste of what he put you through. Praying for the best for you sis
May Allah grant you a good man who'll never breach your trust nor allow you to question your safety with him, Allahuma Ameen. Asian (RA) denounced Firawn - the worst of all tyrant, giving up her life as a Queen and instead followed Musa AS, bravely declaring Allah as the one and only God even though it meant enduring torture. That is why she's praised and considered one of the greatest women of all time. Not because she endured her husband's abuse. Also, don't think because you suffered that that was Allah punishing you. Throughout history, those most beloved to Allah suffered greatly. Think well of Allah - His Kindness and Love is unmatched and can't be compared to that of the people we come across in life. :)
LOL sis, I couldn’t help it 😅. By the way love your content and congratulations on your new hijab journey, May Allah less you on your journey closer to him ❤🤲🏾
Somebody rejected me becoz I told him that I have tinea versicolor and vit deficiency.. May Allah swt make it easy for everyone to find good spouse who becomes peace for them.
Allahu baarik, I love this! To add on: any man who does not use any of these magic words( sorry, please, thank you) , is not appreciative, uses harsh and commanding words,.. for me, I Reject..
@@alphauno6614 Why shouldn't a man be able to say "sorry" to his wife? And also "please" and "thank you"? That's just common decency and should be done out of courtesy. If a husband has wronged his wife he should be able to apologize, don't you think?
@@wordit4516 please and thank you are part of good conduct. I don’t object to that. However expecting your husband to say sorry sounds dubious. That’s all I was alluding to
Jazakallahu khaira sister ♥️… One suggestion: at the end Please sum up all the points which you discussed in the whole video, that would be even more easier for us to keep those points in our mind.. 😊 People who want this, like this comment.❤
JazakAllah Khair for wonderful content. I've really been exhausted in this entire process. 11 years of trying to find someone and still counting... please make du'a for me.
So sorry to hear this, may Allah make it easy .You can try reading Surat baqarah and do alot of istighfar. I read it for almost everyday for more 9 months with the intention of pleasing Almighty Allah, guess what he cured me and gave me a good husband.
@@alphauno6614I agree with this comment. Sometimes it’s the other person, but sometimes it is us. I had to reflect a lot to realize and work on the things that I needed to address within myself.
@@alphauno6614 Are you okay? She's not boasting her divorce. Just simply sharing her experience. I've seen many of your answers to the other women's comments under this video... Seems like you might have a problematic view on women. May Allah help us all.
@@wordit4516 divorce is not a good thing. We should do everything to minimise it. Normalising divorce goes contrary to that. It harms women. Don’t make this a men versus women issue.
Thank you very sis on your insight. Jazakallah. I was actually waiting to hear about brothers who constantly missed prayers on the list. ❤❤❤. Love your program.
Thank you sis, I enjoyed watching your video❤ You're absolutely right. If we notice something that is wrong or makes us feel a certain way, we shouldn't ignore. Because ignoring red flags lead to an unhealthy or even abusive relationship and left us steeped in regret. You know sis, words can hurt more and have the power to pierce the body and damage the soul. By the way, red flags can be in any close relationship, family members, partners, friends, colleagues...etc
Just started watching you and everything that you say is just amazing!! You are a very smart lady and so glad I came across your channel. Constantly nodding my head. Thank you for being the role model and reminder of Allah c.c. all us girlies need.
This is sooooo sweet. Many thanks dear Nafisa. I'm a muslimah too and hearing all these come from a sister makes all the learnings sink and sit in easily without much thought. So so apt and authentic ❤🎉.
Asiya RA was literally forcibly married to the worst man in history pharaoh so other people using her story as an example of being 'patient' is wild. She was in a very scary very forced situation especially considering how powerful pharaoh was long ago.
I like the last point you signed out on. Facts!!!!!! You don't want anything to do with tgat haram money, fearAllahand then you just augned out. 😅😢😢😢😅 Nice!! Ma sha Allah
Honestly even if its not 50/50 ,dont expect a woman to pick after you, and also men have to be involved in raisng their children, this is common sense, you both made the baby, so you both have to take care of the child from birth, men say only a man can raise a boy into a man,yet i berrely see men praising their fathers, and actually speaking of them,i normally hear them talking about their mothers , what the heck were their fathers doing?. Marriage is union where both people have to work together with balance,one can't up the other by default just based on their gender, even if the man is the one working while the woman is doing the domestic duty while taking care of the child, she's still doing more than him, because he can take a break at work,she cant take a break at home until the baby is alseep, so communication still has to be present regarding the responsibilities
keep it coming sis. my love for u for the sake of ALLAH swt increased. ALHAMDULILLAH I FOUND UR CHANNEL FEW YEARS AGO. ( RESULT OF MY DUA SUMA ALHAMDULILLAH )
Asalamualykom sis, I just watched your amazing video. My daughter is going through something in your video. May Allah reward you for the videos you're doing. You have pointed out a lot of things in your video. Most of these girls are going through what you have mentioned. And inshallah keep up your hard work.
Please can you do a video for sisters about getting an education. Today, many sisters are accepting weak men because the man is educated or what they consider as “rich”. Our sisters need to level up and we need them in every sector ❤
@@sholay706 I disagree. Education does not have to be simply for a job. The woman should seek knowledge. She is the first teacher for her children. If she has no education what will she teach her children?
@shanaz3 yes she should seek Islamic knowledge not taking student loans and going to college and not working with huge debts. That is why modern women are not marriageable. They come with debts and expect the future husbandsnro take care of it.
Spend within your means and lifes far easier. Jazak Allahu khairan 💜 8.14 That's a big problem thinking he will change and they don't and the sisters stay put.
SubhanaAllah!!! Sis so on point with this one I so enjoyed watching this, you had the funny side and your serious side and I liked how you switched it up in your other accent🤗🤗😄 Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah In shaa Allah keep them coming 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🫶🏾
Assalam alaycum Masha Allah, my sister thank you, jazakAllah khair, I look forward to your videos. I thank Allah for putting you on my path. I understand things around me better
SELAM...Marshallah Nafisa...you are on point ! I like your videos,trust me I have a hard time liking videos from others,but Marshallah your videos are one of a kind..Please keep doing what you are doing Inshallah and thanks a million. MAY THE ALMIGHTY LORD BLESS YOU!
Today Nafisa made my morning, the way you made me laugh, get the Africa in you out 😂❤. However, all you said I absolutely agree with. In the end, stay true to yourself and know that we have value and are worthy of goodness.
I can’t deny that this video gave me chills and the vibe was lit 🔥😝😂 While on the other hand, I see that many sisters here are at a phase…and I sincerely pray that Allah SWT makes it an easy one and that the wait is worth your chance In Sha Allah, please continue to trust Allah, surely you’ll be where you need to be. And so reminds me to ask “are you making the best use of this time as you’re supposed to?? “ PS: I don’t intend to offend anyone but just a reminder to hopefully work on yourself for it’ll count and make a huge difference right from choosing the spouse down to building your home In Sha Allah. Indeed Allah is with the patients✨ Love to you all❤
As salamou enleykum warhmatullah my sister nafissa I divorced about 4 months ago. I confirm all your statements, I lived with a man who was as you describe in the video. The worst he choosed his sister and his mother also over me knowing that they were unfair to me.
As Salamu alaikum Sista I love you for the sake of Allah my Allah continue to bless you with keeping real and factual.. so much relationship content on YT however Alhamduillah for your channel ❤😂
Mash Allah good one. I reject someone exactly because of that - (a 50 year old gujrati emotionally unstable, insecure weak man) plus I believe this is against Islam - anyways.... He said to pay half the bills and even council tax and in was placing me in a shed! Despite the fact he was working full time! He wasn't even a man despite the fact he had been here over 20 years he died even a good job, car or even a good place to stay?? Useless, wasn't even a man. This 50 50 is against islam it is oppressive towards the woman and double the work inside and outside work - and no the man will not help you out with the housework, cooking, taking care of the children! Men who say 50 50 is not really a man. If he is getting married he should by now have everything enough provisions to provide for the wife to stay at home - if he wants a traditional housewife he should be willing to provide and yes a woman can keep a housemaid to avoid exhaustion - whether it's from the mans money or hers! Get a cleaner most woman have a maid in muslim countries! Trust me we are juggling to much in the UK! We have the right to demand a cleaner if he wants intimacy every day - like it or not.
Apparently from what I'm hearing these males don't even know how to satisfy a woman. It's like he attacks, does his motions then rolls over back to sleep.
@@FaridaDawkinsYY I'm serious man. Some of them from what I'm hearing don't even know women can experience pleasure etc. One of my friends told me that on her wedding night as soon as she stepped into the bedroom, she didn't even have a chance to know wtf was happening. Then he lost her pet kitten after she left for 1 DAY to visit her mum. He lost a whole animal.
Wow your mind is such a train wreck waiting to happen. First you reject 50/50, which is good. Then you say you want a traditional man but then you don’t want to take on traditional wife responsibility and want him to pay for the maid! On top of that you want to withhold intimacy. I ask you, why shouldn’t he just marry the maid?
this is so difficult. finding the right person seems like winning the lottery. makes me question why i should even be putting myself through this distress..
Terjemahan dalam Bahasa Melayu: Ciri-ciri lelaki untuk di'reject' oleh wanita 1.Lelaki yang menganggap 50% kewangan perlu disumbangkan oleh wanita dalam menguruskan perbelanjaan rumah. 2. Mendera wanita secara fizikal, mental . Walaupun hanya sekali. 3. Lelaki yang sentiasa mengikut kata dan pendapat ibubapa dalam semua keadaan, tidak kira salah atau betul. 4. Meminta diri anda mengubah sesuatu perkara pada diri anda, jika tidak lelaki tersebut tidak mahu mengahwininya. Menunjukkan leaki tersebut suka mengawal wanita. 5. Lelaki yang tidak menghormati ahli keluarga/ ibubapa wanita. 6. Lelaki yang bekerja tetapi daripada sumber pekerjaan yang tidak halal walaupun sumber pendapatannya lumayan. Semoga bermanfaat.
This was very interesting. I'm in 2 minds....on one hand it's really good to marry young, in fact, it's preferred & I believe it's the best for a society as a whole. But thing is...when u are young, u don't really understand what red flags are, u'r so naive that u'r vulnerable, idk how to explain but thank God for mehrams who vet well
As a man I almost agree with everything you said but... using the word charity is wrong here 5:38 , he is not in need, she wants something extra. And I swear if I have the money I'll buy her everything she wants even if she is rich because as you said it's the man's responsibility to provide.
Lovely nafisa make a video what come under physical abuse and specially mental abuse in marriage. And how to understand emotional health & mindset of a person prior to marriage.
Lately you have been spending to me my dear jazakhallahu kheir. I realised am doing so much and now when I said he start taking his responsibility he has gone silent on me
Everything you say about this video.. feel like you look into my story. I say something about my lifestyle... I am ready in.. before I find out who the man I married you really.. I don't really know what to do about my life Please read my children grow up I have something to tell. Story. Good advice..
Asalamulaikum since we crabby date before marriage, can you talk about how to really see who he is since he can lie? Like we can't really tell if he's abusive l feel sometimes because he might not hit or yell at you in front of your mahram and will only show his colors after marriage. I would like to know how to avoid even coming near or entertaining such a person when vouching for potential partners.
Barakallah fiki sister, love you for the sake of Allah❤..Here in this part of the world where I belong from..proposals are usually seen and finalized by the parents while the girl & the boy never meet eachother...I myself have witnessed this situation..so in this case how could we get to know all this stuff & personality of the guy, especially that if he is only going to take his parents side and not support you in any matter?? Plz reply or make a video on this topic soon.
A point on abuse: if he threatens to harm you, even as a joke- please please reject that man. Do not go with a man who makes a joke out of seeing you in distress. Your spouse is meant to be your protector and your garment, not the one who provokes you and makes you feel unsafe. May Allah grant us all spouses that bring us peace and are our protectors
Barakallahu feekum sis that wiping off sweat made me realize that you are a 🇳🇬❤❤❤ I detected a red flag at early stage when a brother told me he dislike extremity in religion which i think im gonna be an extremist because I try to practice Islam the way it should be and again he pointed out repeatedly that he can never tolerate his parents being disrespected by his wife which I know is very ok 💯but he never reversed, i expected him to reverse it " I also will not disrespect your parents and im not gonna allow my family to disrespect you. He never said that but he repeatedly talked about his own parents..i was like this is a big 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Boy that sucks. Maybe he heard some things and was projecting. For example I’ve heard how many women are disobedient so I will be emphasising this topic but I’ll also be mentioning the responsibilities of men as well to balance it out. Inshallah things can work out for us all.
i never date but all men around me do thse things 😢.m confused as a sounthasian...its very common ...now i m study in a co university and literally every guy is like this and loud and just try to approach u even if u dont talk to them ...they will still find a way to talk to u ....every men is like this ..i cant even believe on men now bcoz they all r just playboy and thats it ...plz pray for me bcoz m scared of marriage now....😢
Let us remember whatever you put up with YOUR CHILDREN also have to put up with. It is ALL For them not for us we can't let them grow up in an abusive household.
Red flags.
-50/50 financial responsibilities
-Abusive physically and mentally
-Signs of always supporting the parents irrespective of your own opinion(taking side with parents)
-If he ask you to change something about yourself before he marries you.
-If he disrespects your family
-If he earns haraam income(Haraam sustainance)
Maa Shaa Allah you got a subscriber today(sister)
Thanks ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Thank u,very helpful.🌹
May Allah grant us all righteous spouses and children who are the coolness of our eyes and give us and our families an excellent end and resurrect us with the righteous. Ameen.
Ameen
SUMA AMEEN
Aameen summa Ameen
Aameen
Aameen!
I cancelled my wedding last moment cause I was putting up with all these until I couldn’t care what will people say in my desi culture- I’m happy being single than be in a wrong marriage only so people can be quiet
you did the right thing alhamdulilah
I kept being told about Asiah and how she was patient after my husband had choked me, throw pots at me multiple times, thrown a wood dresser and screamed at me all the time. Now i did all that and am now feeling more spiritually weak than i ever have in my life. Ive been gone for a year now and am waiting for a divorce but ppl still make me feel like i made the wrong decision. Please make dua that i can find a good man soon insha'Allah i dont know what i did to deserve a husband like that and feel like allah ta'ala's wrath is on me
Subhanallah! You absolutely made the right decision. People trying to shame you and comparing you to Asiah are pretty shameless in my opinion because do they realize they are basically saying “you are married to a Firawn, why can’t you just suck it up and deal with it? “ In shaa Allah you will find a much better man who will treat you so right and make you so happy. May Allah grant you a good marriage and many years of happiness ahead
Part of our duty as Muslims is to prevent oppression to others and ourselves. Sabr is persevering in faith with Allah, not just sitting and taking abuse. You absolutely made the right decision for you and islamically as well. Abuse is the most basic and valid reason for divorce
Im so sorry your husband abused you like this. IsA Allah will raise your ranks and reward you immensely for the pain you've been through. And will give your husband more than a taste of what he put you through. Praying for the best for you sis
Sister....that's religious manipulation 😔 may Allah make it easy for u
I hope I’m never ever like this, ever
May Allah grant you a good man who'll never breach your trust nor allow you to question your safety with him, Allahuma Ameen.
Asian (RA) denounced Firawn - the worst of all tyrant, giving up her life as a Queen and instead followed Musa AS, bravely declaring Allah as the one and only God even though it meant enduring torture. That is why she's praised and considered one of the greatest women of all time. Not because she endured her husband's abuse.
Also, don't think because you suffered that that was Allah punishing you. Throughout history, those most beloved to Allah suffered greatly. Think well of Allah - His Kindness and Love is unmatched and can't be compared to that of the people we come across in life. :)
Sis!! I nearly lost it when the Naija accent popped out 😭 lovely video as always! 💕
LOL sis, I couldn’t help it 😅.
By the way love your content and congratulations on your new hijab journey, May Allah less you on your journey closer to him ❤🤲🏾
MashAllah!! Loving this interaction between two of my favs 🥰
I was saying the same thing 🤣
Somebody rejected me becoz I told him that I have tinea versicolor and vit deficiency.. May Allah swt make it easy for everyone to find good spouse who becomes peace for them.
Allah will give you someone amazing inshaAllah ❤
Ameen.
I was rejected because i asked for $2000 dowry gift
@@Lightboltmotivationofficialsister 🤭😹😹
Harsh. Maybe it was an excuse for something else?
thank you for giving us such great content regularly even with your 5 month baby!
You are so welcome! Thank you for watching
Allahu baarik, I love this!
To add on: any man who does not use any of these magic words( sorry, please, thank you) , is not appreciative, uses harsh and commanding words,.. for me, I Reject..
Thanks for sharing
You want your husband to say sorry to you?
@@alphauno6614 Why shouldn't a man be able to say "sorry" to his wife? And also "please" and "thank you"? That's just common decency and should be done out of courtesy. If a husband has wronged his wife he should be able to apologize, don't you think?
@@wordit4516 please and thank you are part of good conduct. I don’t object to that. However expecting your husband to say sorry sounds dubious. That’s all I was alluding to
@@alphauno6614 Dubious? Why is it unheard of to expect a man to say “sorry”? Is he perfect? Never of fault? Unable to make mistakes?
Jazakallahu khaira sister ♥️…
One suggestion: at the end Please sum up all the points which you discussed in the whole video, that would be even more easier for us to keep those points in our mind.. 😊
People who want this, like this comment.❤
Absolutely.
TabarakALLĀH,sister Nafisa ,one can hear and see that you wish good for your muslim brothers and sisters
JazakAllah Khair for wonderful content. I've really been exhausted in this entire process. 11 years of trying to find someone and still counting... please make du'a for me.
I pray that Allah gives you the best spouse that you'll both be great together, Sis. Ameen. 🤲
So sorry to hear this, may Allah make it easy .You can try reading Surat baqarah and do alot of istighfar. I read it for almost everyday for more 9 months with the intention of pleasing Almighty Allah, guess what he cured me and gave me a good husband.
11 years? Maybe time for some reflection?
Either you are hideously unattractive or your standards are so high that you will pass away with no children or husband.
@@alphauno6614I agree with this comment. Sometimes it’s the other person, but sometimes it is us. I had to reflect a lot to realize and work on the things that I needed to address within myself.
I overlooked this signs and it cost me a lot....I'm out now and inshaAllah praying for a man that would be the coolness of my eyes...thank you sis❤
Don’t boast about your divorce otherwise you might encourage others to be reckless
@@alphauno6614 🙄😏
@@hawahsalifu219 In the future I intend to marry a widow/divorcè but I will make sure it won’t be someone who is proud of their home being set on 🔥
@@alphauno6614 Are you okay? She's not boasting her divorce. Just simply sharing her experience. I've seen many of your answers to the other women's comments under this video... Seems like you might have a problematic view on women. May Allah help us all.
@@wordit4516 divorce is not a good thing. We should do everything to minimise it. Normalising divorce goes contrary to that. It harms women. Don’t make this a men versus women issue.
You never miss Nafisa, SubhanAllah! You are a true blessing. Keep it coming, may Allah reward you
Assalaamu alaykum. Great video. Another red flag, when he says he wants a modern wife
LOL
Sis modernism vs vulgarity are not they different?
Thank you very sis on your insight. Jazakallah. I was actually waiting to hear about brothers who constantly missed prayers on the list. ❤❤❤. Love your program.
Thank you sis, I enjoyed watching your video❤
You're absolutely right. If we notice something that is wrong or makes us feel a certain way, we shouldn't ignore.
Because ignoring red flags lead to an unhealthy or even abusive relationship and left us steeped in regret.
You know sis, words can hurt more and have the power to pierce the body and damage the soul.
By the way, red flags can be in any close relationship, family members, partners, friends, colleagues...etc
Just started watching you and everything that you say is just amazing!! You are a very smart lady and so glad I came across your channel. Constantly nodding my head. Thank you for being the role model and reminder of Allah c.c. all us girlies need.
This is sooooo sweet. Many thanks dear Nafisa. I'm a muslimah too and hearing all these come from a sister makes all the learnings sink and sit in easily without much thought. So so apt and authentic ❤🎉.
Allahuma bareek. Sister Nafisa loving the glow and Nigerian accent. 😂❤. Genuinely love you for the sake of Allah sis.
Friendship is one thing. Marriage is another thing. Patience respectfulness is key to continue a marriage
Asiya RA was literally forcibly married to the worst man in history pharaoh so other people using her story as an example of being 'patient' is wild. She was in a very scary very forced situation especially considering how powerful pharaoh was long ago.
I like the last point you signed out on.
Facts!!!!!!
You don't want anything to do with tgat haram money, fearAllahand then you just augned out.
😅😢😢😢😅
Nice!!
Ma sha Allah
Honestly even if its not 50/50 ,dont expect a woman to pick after you, and also men have to be involved in raisng their children, this is common sense, you both made the baby, so you both have to take care of the child from birth, men say only a man can raise a boy into a man,yet i berrely see men praising their fathers, and actually speaking of them,i normally hear them talking about their mothers , what the heck were their fathers doing?. Marriage is union where both people have to work together with balance,one can't up the other by default just based on their gender, even if the man is the one working while the woman is doing the domestic duty while taking care of the child, she's still doing more than him, because he can take a break at work,she cant take a break at home until the baby is alseep, so communication still has to be present regarding the responsibilities
50/50 marriages are the saddest. Maybe you ought to follow the Quran and Sunnah instead?
keep it coming sis.
my love for u for the sake of ALLAH swt increased.
ALHAMDULILLAH I FOUND UR CHANNEL FEW YEARS AGO. ( RESULT OF MY DUA SUMA ALHAMDULILLAH )
I absolutely love your confidence and certainty MashaAllaah ❤
Thank you Nafisa for your high value content! Alhamdulillah for people like you and the knowledge you share with us FOR FREE! May Allah bless you ❤
sister Nafisa! I love your videos and i love you for the sake of Allah 💗
Jazaka’Allahu khairan and may Allah for whose sake you love me, love you.
Asalamualykom sis, I just watched your amazing video. My daughter is going through something in your video. May Allah reward you for the videos you're doing. You have pointed out a lot of things in your video. Most of these girls are going through what you have mentioned. And inshallah keep up your hard work.
I love you my sister Nafisa, you always speak the truth. It’s a blessing to have you in our community!
Aww you have a girrl!, Congratulations , i get excited when i hear someone havign a baby girl ,you can dress them up and put ribbons in their hair😊
Loved the content 🎉 and the West African vibes 😂
Tell me ur from Africa without telling me ur from Africa sis yaa so funny 😂Allah reward you goodnesses i benefit a lot frm u barakalAllah fik ❤
U r a gem ma sha Allah thank you Jaz Khairan sister
Please can you do a video for sisters about getting an education. Today, many sisters are accepting weak men because the man is educated or what they consider as “rich”. Our sisters need to level up and we need them in every sector ❤
It is the duty of the husband to take care of the wife so getting education is not important for the woman except education in deen and homecare
@@sholay706 I disagree. Education does not have to be simply for a job. The woman should seek knowledge. She is the first teacher for her children. If she has no education what will she teach her children?
@shanaz3 yes she should seek Islamic knowledge not taking student loans and going to college and not working with huge debts. That is why modern women are not marriageable. They come with debts and expect the future husbandsnro take care of it.
@@sholay706 no she is accountable for her debt and should pay it off. Just my opinion
Spend within your means and lifes far easier.
Jazak Allahu khairan 💜
8.14 That's a big problem thinking he will change and they don't and the sisters stay put.
Another great video with great advice!❤❤❤
That's my situation right now where my husband sides with his mom and we always end arguing. Thank u soo much for this
SubhanaAllah!!! Sis so on point with this one I so enjoyed watching this, you had the funny side and your serious side and I liked how you switched it up in your other accent🤗🤗😄 Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah In shaa Allah keep them coming 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🫶🏾
Thank you so much for giving us women what we need .
Mashallah amazing advice sister May Allah grant you more knowledge and understanding
Assalam alaycum
Masha Allah, my sister thank you, jazakAllah khair, I look forward to your videos. I thank Allah for putting you on my path. I understand things around me better
SELAM...Marshallah Nafisa...you are on point !
I like your videos,trust me I have a hard time liking videos from others,but Marshallah your videos are one of a kind..Please keep doing what you are doing Inshallah and thanks a million. MAY THE ALMIGHTY LORD BLESS YOU!
This is exactly why a prenuptial agreement with stipulations is critical before doing the Nikaah!
Today Nafisa made my morning, the way you made me laugh, get the Africa in you out 😂❤. However, all you said I absolutely agree with. In the end, stay true to yourself and know that we have value and are worthy of goodness.
I can’t deny that this video gave me chills and the vibe was lit 🔥😝😂
While on the other hand, I see that many sisters here are at a phase…and I sincerely pray that Allah SWT makes it an easy one and that the wait is worth your chance In Sha Allah, please continue to trust Allah, surely you’ll be where you need to be. And so reminds me to ask “are you making the best use of this time as you’re supposed to?? “
PS: I don’t intend to offend anyone but just a reminder to hopefully work on yourself for it’ll count and make a huge difference right from choosing the spouse down to building your home In Sha Allah. Indeed Allah is with the patients✨
Love to you all❤
As salamou enleykum warhmatullah my sister nafissa I divorced about 4 months ago. I confirm all your statements, I lived with a man who was as you describe in the video. The worst he choosed his sister and his mother also over me knowing that they were unfair to me.
May Allah swt bless you with better
Ameen
May Allah swt grant you a spouse that has the characteristics of prophet Muhammad pbuh ameen
Allahuma amine 🤲🏽
As Salamu alaikum Sista I love you for the sake of Allah my Allah continue to bless you with keeping real and factual.. so much relationship content on YT however Alhamduillah for your channel ❤😂
May Allah bless you sister, please make more content like this and may Allah reward you for your work - Ameen ❤
Hi sis Nasifat. Totally agree 💯
Thank you sis
I learnt alot
Allah bless you richly
Ameen
Very very well said sister.. may Allah bless u bless n ur entire family in both worlds . Ameen
Loved the video, loved the mood ❤
Thank you so much sis looking beautiful with black hijab 🧕 thanks again for your good job 👏 ❤❤❤❤❤❤watching from Germany 🇩🇪 ❤
Thank you Sister, always looking forward for more of your videos ❤, and always an inspiration 🥰🥺. Allahumma Barik
Am happy to get this message
Beautiful discussion! Allahumma Barik!
Great job sis
Mash Allah good one. I reject someone exactly because of that - (a 50 year old gujrati emotionally unstable, insecure weak man) plus I believe this is against Islam - anyways....
He said to pay half the bills and even council tax and in was placing me in a shed! Despite the fact he was working full time! He wasn't even a man despite the fact he had been here over 20 years he died even a good job, car or even a good place to stay?? Useless, wasn't even a man.
This 50 50 is against islam it is oppressive towards the woman and double the work inside and outside work - and no the man will not help you out with the housework, cooking, taking care of the children!
Men who say 50 50 is not really a man. If he is getting married he should by now have everything enough provisions to provide for the wife to stay at home - if he wants a traditional housewife he should be willing to provide and yes a woman can keep a housemaid to avoid exhaustion - whether it's from the mans money or hers! Get a cleaner most woman have a maid in muslim countries! Trust me we are juggling to much in the UK! We have the right to demand a cleaner if he wants intimacy every day - like it or not.
😅😅😅 sister, your last comment made me laugh so much. May Allah help us all.
Apparently from what I'm hearing these males don't even know how to satisfy a woman. It's like he attacks, does his motions then rolls over back to sleep.
@@Swed813😂 sad case of affairs
@@FaridaDawkinsYY I'm serious man. Some of them from what I'm hearing don't even know women can experience pleasure etc. One of my friends told me that on her wedding night as soon as she stepped into the bedroom, she didn't even have a chance to know wtf was happening. Then he lost her pet kitten after she left for 1 DAY to visit her mum. He lost a whole animal.
Wow your mind is such a train wreck waiting to happen. First you reject 50/50, which is good. Then you say you want a traditional man but then you don’t want to take on traditional wife responsibility and want him to pay for the maid! On top of that you want to withhold intimacy. I ask you, why shouldn’t he just marry the maid?
Sister I must say thank so much for teaching all of these things🙏 I know a lot at the age of 16. Thanks a lot
please put headings for each topic, makes it easier to navigate
this is so difficult. finding the right person seems like winning the lottery. makes me question why i should even be putting myself through this distress..
Ask your parents
JazakaAllah nafeesa
We appreciate your advice sissy
Terjemahan dalam Bahasa Melayu:
Ciri-ciri lelaki untuk di'reject' oleh wanita
1.Lelaki yang menganggap 50% kewangan perlu disumbangkan oleh wanita dalam menguruskan perbelanjaan rumah.
2. Mendera wanita secara fizikal, mental . Walaupun hanya sekali.
3. Lelaki yang sentiasa mengikut kata dan pendapat ibubapa dalam semua keadaan, tidak kira salah atau betul.
4. Meminta diri anda mengubah sesuatu perkara pada diri anda, jika tidak lelaki tersebut tidak mahu mengahwininya. Menunjukkan leaki tersebut suka mengawal wanita.
5. Lelaki yang tidak menghormati ahli keluarga/ ibubapa wanita.
6. Lelaki yang bekerja tetapi daripada sumber pekerjaan yang tidak halal walaupun sumber pendapatannya lumayan.
Semoga bermanfaat.
❤❤❤❤love you a lots nafisa.
Thank you for helping us out sister❤❤❤❤
Great advice sister Nafisa 👏🏽
This was very interesting. I'm in 2 minds....on one hand it's really good to marry young, in fact, it's preferred & I believe it's the best for a society as a whole. But thing is...when u are young, u don't really understand what red flags are, u'r so naive that u'r vulnerable, idk how to explain but thank God for mehrams who vet well
Yes parents are key especially for sisters
@@alphauno6614 & esp the father....who knows men better than a man 😹🙃
@@ghurabaa114xx true ey!
@@alphauno6614yep... this is where thier gheerah comes in handy I guess 💪😹
Thank u so mch Sister Nafisa, May Allahu Subhanahu wata'ala grant y'all yr wishes to come true
A random stranger abused me at university once while fighting with someone else my brother physically came to my uni and beat his ass
Crazy
As a man I almost agree with everything you said but... using the word charity is wrong here 5:38 , he is not in need, she wants something extra. And I swear if I have the money I'll buy her everything she wants even if she is rich because as you said it's the man's responsibility to provide.
I loved your lecture!❤❤❤❤
وَعَلَيْكُمْ السَّلاَمُ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
I love how you turn on your African accent Ooh!
AsSalamu Alaikum. Do you have a video for us Muslim brothers, giving advice on which sisters to avoid marrying?
Lovely nafisa make a video what come under physical abuse and specially mental abuse in marriage. And how to understand emotional health & mindset of a person prior to marriage.
I will also add his dealings with the opposite gender and if he has many female friends , and low in haya 😂
Lately you have been spending to me my dear jazakhallahu kheir. I realised am doing so much and now when I said he start taking his responsibility he has gone silent on me
May Allah continue to bless your beautiful heart
I'm really enjoying watching yr videos, keep it up
Allahuma barik lak...🙏🏽...Great content!
Nice topic ❤
Everything you say about this video.. feel like you look into my story. I say something about my lifestyle... I am ready in.. before I find out who the man I married you really..
I don't really know what to do about my life
Please read my children grow up I have something to tell.
Story. Good advice..
Shukran for keeping it real
Asalamulaikum since we crabby date before marriage, can you talk about how to really see who he is since he can lie? Like we can't really tell if he's abusive l feel sometimes because he might not hit or yell at you in front of your mahram and will only show his colors after marriage. I would like to know how to avoid even coming near or entertaining such a person when vouching for potential partners.
Don’t date?
Thank you Nafisa.
Thank You❤
❤❤❤❤ love these
Masha Alla working inside home and children are exesting as well.
I love you sister Nafeesah for the sake of Allah
I like the African vibes on this video 😂 you showed us another side of your personality ❤
Barakallah fiki sister, love you for the sake of Allah❤..Here in this part of the world where I belong from..proposals are usually seen and finalized by the parents while the girl & the boy never meet eachother...I myself have witnessed this situation..so in this case how could we get to know all this stuff & personality of the guy, especially that if he is only going to take his parents side and not support you in any matter?? Plz reply or make a video on this topic soon.
Love it ❤❤❤❤
A point on abuse: if he threatens to harm you, even as a joke- please please reject that man. Do not go with a man who makes a joke out of seeing you in distress. Your spouse is meant to be your protector and your garment, not the one who provokes you and makes you feel unsafe. May Allah grant us all spouses that bring us peace and are our protectors
Separation advice is a easy uncomfortable advice
Pray for me Allah give us children
@@waleedalihayat6150 Adoption?
Love the video so very much. You are so supposed.🌹 Alhamdulillah
Thank you! 😃
🌹
@@NafisasPearlz
I thank Allah so very much for you, it is not so lonely.
Barakallahu feekum sis
that wiping off sweat made me realize that you are a 🇳🇬❤❤❤
I detected a red flag at early stage when a brother told me he dislike extremity in religion which i think im gonna be an extremist because I try to practice Islam the way it should be and again he pointed out repeatedly that he can never tolerate his parents being disrespected by his wife which I know is very ok 💯but he never reversed, i expected him to reverse it " I also will not disrespect your parents and im not gonna allow my family to disrespect you. He never said that but he repeatedly talked about his own parents..i was like this is a big 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Boy that sucks. Maybe he heard some things and was projecting. For example I’ve heard how many women are disobedient so I will be emphasising this topic but I’ll also be mentioning the responsibilities of men as well to balance it out. Inshallah things can work out for us all.
i never date but all men around me do thse things 😢.m confused as a sounthasian...its very common ...now i m study in a co university and literally every guy is like this and loud and just try to approach u even if u dont talk to them ...they will still find a way to talk to u ....every men is like this ..i cant even believe on men now bcoz they all r just playboy and thats it ...plz pray for me bcoz m scared of marriage now....😢
Let us remember whatever you put up with YOUR CHILDREN also have to put up with. It is ALL For them not for us we can't let them grow up in an abusive household.
What makes you go to Jannah is having the courage to walk away from an abuser.