MISTAKES SINGLE MUSLIM WOMEN MAKE
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- Asalamu'alaikum, today we are discussing 10 things single muslimah's do that is not helping them prepare for marriage. I'm sure you've done at least one of these even if you're married! Let's fix up sisters, let's make the change so we can attract suitable suitors who will be the coolness of our eyes.
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I remember a brother I considered for marriage and when I said I don't think it will work out, he said "I can get married easily, but you're over 30 so it will be hard for you to find someone to marry." I remember I had thought like this anyway, but him saying it wasn't nice. Alhamdulillah I got married a few months later. Don't feel pressured to marry someone you're not sure about coz of your age. It is easy for Allah to grant us someone, Alhamdulillah
Masha’Allah that’s such a nice example that I think sisters need to hear more of. May Allah bless and protect your union.
The guy tried to guilt trip you because you rejected him but your rejection was actually Allahs rejection because he was not meant to be your husband.
Sometimes things happen that shows that Allah is saying “this one is not yours” but it doesn’t mean that he is saying “I won’t give you any at all”. Stay patient sisters, everything has its decree📜
Sometimes, what we think it’s bad, could be good for us. For example, that word that he maybe was trying to hurt and let you down can be for a wake up call which Alhamdulilah caused you to have that beautiful family.
So, never give up, just bc of someone’s words, it could be lesson for us that we wouldn’t get what we have today.
@@AC-mp7cx I 100% agree. What he said was true and I knew this even before he said it. I don't think he said it to be malicious. He was a revert with a bigger pool of sisters and I was an over 30 year old sister with an ever decreasing pool. What he said was true but it wasn't nice. He was never a bad man, in fact I Recommended him to many single sisters. My point was that despite the odds stacked against me, Alhamdulillah I still got married to someone amazing, Allaahummaa baarik. I also advise sisters to be realistic but also to put their trust in Allah when it comes to choosing a partner or leaving a marriage talk
@@lilgirllilgirl735 You took what he said better than me, I just like saying things more kindly to people even if they're true, like maybe more in a scientific data driven way. But yeah it tends to be true, thats why we need to start telling our young men and women things that will actually benefit them, and not just feed them the typical "Do whatever you want all your youth, and never settle for a man!" Mashallah you yourself kept your hopes in Allah but also recognized the truth of your situation so he gave you a good marriage, that is wonderful.
@@AC-mp7cx Jazakillaahu Khairan
If he doesn’t introduce you to family, forget him.
Well, I would not say 'immediately forget him' but I would say 'it seems to be a big redflag and you need to take it seriously, you need to be really careful about the person, don't trust them quickly', this is what I would say.
@@t-renallux3125 or they have a very toxic family and he rather not show unless she persists much,that's if he has "normal" contacts, only the good normal ones
@@MK7M : Yeah, I believe I see what you mean but I still don't think that should prevent him from introducing the female to the family, there can be more than one reason he may not want to introduce her to the family, the reason or reasons can either be good or evil, so the bottom line here is he has to tell her the truth about why he may not want to introduce her to the family but if he unreasonably refuse to tell her the truth, then she has to cut him off totally without wasting any time about it, it's seriously scary or dangerous when someone is unreasonably hiding the truth from you about something, this gives you good reason to stay far away from the person, this gives you good reason not to trust them, not even for a day, (the truth).
@@t-renallux3125 Absolutely agree
@@MK7M : Thanks, brother!
Point 4: if a man seeks physical intamacy, walk away. He's not only disrespecting you but most importantly Allah's boundaries. A man who fears Allah will stay away from paths that lead to zina. If he hints at physical intamacy, most likely you aren't the first he has tried it with... If a man shows you his true colours, accept it and don't brush it under the carpet, it will reappear. Ukhti, you deserve better and I pray Allah provides you with a pious husband.
100%. I also found that an odd part of the video, suggesting you should continue to engage someone like this but with boundaries. What you should do is run quickly.
In shaa Allah I remember this precious advice! BaarakAllahu feek
youre right!!
My ex(the guy I was courting with) gave me hints too. I said I didn’t want to do zina cause I want Allah to bless our marriage/relationship. But he got so triggered and at the end discarded and left me anyway(for another reason tho) lol
I love that you said this. So many men appear to be religious and then it comes out that they've been in previous haram relationships. Your past is your past, but the vast majority of men haven't even done tawbah for their past, because they don't even see a problem with it, and are hoping to do the same with you. I've actually cried countless times thinking I wasn't good enough for men because I'd hit this wall where they'd reveal they wanted a physical relationship and of course that's unislamic so I'd have to put my foot down, and it'd end there. These men should be ashamed of themselves for putting us in these positions, and more importantly, they should fear Allah when they try to disobey him and convince a girl to do the same. I hope any girl reading this knows that you are the rightly guided one for sticking to Allah's commands, over even your own wish to be married one day, and inshaAllah, Allah will bless you with a righteous spouse that fulfills his duties and pleases you in every way ❤
Nafisa being our big sister again and looking after us 🥰🥰 May Allah reward you 🤗
Ameen and may Allah reward you too
@@NafisasPearlz ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Not gonna lie, in the West, male and female dynamics have become almost unbearable. We have everyone looking for the hottest person, looking for the richest person, looking to race the biological clock. I honestly think society is to blame for this disaster. We are so busy comparing ourselves to others, that we wanna outdo them, instead of working on ourselves and taking our time finding love.
Well said!
Absolutely correct!!!
So true. Like yeah attraction is nice and all but you cant turn away every proposal just to find the most attractive person.
I’m not even a Muslimah, but this video was the harsh slap in the face that I didn’t know I needed 😭🥲 thank you sister ❤️
The moment she said “some of us dont even have hair” I DIED🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 sis really coming for us🥲
That really cracked me up
From the beginning ..coming right at us..I feel gently reproached😂😂😅💛💛
Istg it was sooo funny i chocked on my lunch🤣🤣🤣🤣
I cut mine low😂😂😂
Sisters learn how to cook, not for your husband necessarily, but for your children. Children need good nutritious meals and we need to learn how to prepare that for them and for ourselves in shaa Allah
For both
if you plan to have kids that is
@@Hanfahhussain even if you decide not to have kids, it's still important that we learn to look after ourselves and that includes cooking meals which are tasty and healthy and not relying on other people cooking or ordering food or eating out all the time. I have learnt how to make healthy meals using maybe 4 ingredients and taking less than 30mins to make including prep time. If you do then decide to have children, you would have a healthier body in which to do it
Brothers should learn too because what if their wife passes away God-forbid? The children starve? No more good nutritious meals? Aww
@@drasc1470 I agree! For the 1st year of my marriage I never cooked, and for the last 2 years I have cooked occasionally. Alhamdulillah my husband is a good cook and he enjoys cooking. I never learnt how to cook and this never bothered him Alhamdulillah. With our different workloads he makes me breakfast every morning mashAllah and on the odd occasion that I can, I do for him. When I've been ill he has looked after me and cooked for me and I have done the same for him when he's been ill. Point is, none of us should think we don't need to do something coz we all should be able to do everything for when the need arises. Everyone should learn how to cook, and I mentioned sisters learning to cook just coz I'm sure it's mostly sisters who watch this channel, but yes, men should also know how to cook
ISTIKARA is the best thing ever to guide me in a relationship
Can u eloborate further on that matter? I have never really understood ISTIKHARA, does it mean to repent?
@@nahiedlaila9601 no ,it's a pray you do through the whole relationship, like every day, through it,you always ask Allah to protect you, bless you and help you to decide which is best for you, like if this is the one that you should marry or you should avoid, if he's good for you or not because Allah subshnou knows better, so you always ask him talk to him, ask Allah to guide you to the right path and don't worry Allah definitely will help you, it happens to me 3 times and subshnou Allah every time something happens makes me leave that relationship and you know what.... I end up being happy with my decision because he's not the one for me ( you always say in your douaae:
اللهم ان كان لي فقربه و إن لم يكن فابعده و ارزقني خيرا منه و ارزقه خيرا مني و استرني و احفظني كما تحفظ به عبادك الصالحين_>
O Allah, if he is for me, then bring him near, and if not, then keep him away, and provide me with someone better than him, and provide him with someone better than me, and protect me and protect me as you preserve your righteous servants.
As a married brother i can tell Nafisa's advice are on point 👌. especially about the secret marriage stuff. To all the sisters out there who get afraid about the idea of marriage, something important to remember is that us humans are hardwired to focus on the negatives which is one of the reasons we keep hearing about the bad of marriage (all the abuse, divorce, etc...). I'm not saying it doesn't happen (a lot even), but keep in mind those people who are having successful marriages don't go around shouting about it. Because 1-they're still working on it and 2-the evil eye is a reality and we all know that. So dear sisters no matter what your situation is, stay optimistic (it's important to attract khair in your life), but work on yourself and don't be naive about marriage or make unintelligent decisions as our sister already explained. May Allah bless you All.
Thank you brother. This comment deserves way more likes! 👍
JAZAKALLAH KHAIRA
@@ishratsultana6105 wa antum fajazakumullahu khayran.
Well said, jazakallah khair
there is nothing in the religion
to say you have to get married. if you do, its a blessing
Why has it become normal for men to make jokes at women nearing 30 or over 30, saying things like 'you better find a man before you expire' 'biological clock is ticking etc, basically they mean to settle for them cause we are getting older. It makes me so angry these disgusting men joking about womens insecurity. Trust me a man like that doesn't deserve you if he ever says that. 😤
For sure! No woman should entertain such abuse. A mature, sensible and respectful man would never do that so if he does, just keep it moving sisters, he’s not worth your time.
A lot of women I’ve seen between 25-33 are usually at their best
Trust me it's still a lot out there men like this especially in dating apps, I speak nicely still they feel intimidated by our confidence and show no desperate of marriage to them even we're over 30. I block them straightaway as it's really waste your energy, in the mean time we still try to be honest and real but for disrespectful guys they don't care, they just like to judge and hurt women. Our job is just wish them all the best. Period.
@@unapologetic7281 Exactly. You stopped at 33 for a reason lmao.
If its done in a disparaging way, then it's haram. However its just a fact that women have that clock and need to get married if they want a family. "Settling" is made into something it's not. Sometimes you have to lower your standards in order to get married, we don't live in a fantasy world.
Marriage needs maturities from both parts and compromises and rahma.
For me mariage is harder than, managing a business. A woman has to be strong minded a good way to protect the marriage. She will be respected. Don’t compromise too much, always have a dialogue and put trust to Almighty.
@@kahuzibiega6120 womem are the protectors? I thought mem where the protectors
@ purple love of course Men are protector that why they pay for your dowry. It’s takes a STRONG woman to protect A mariage. Being strong doesn’t mean you have to speak a lot, scream, your ways or no way, etc....
Being STRONG can be the way you carry yourself from single life to married life. To protect your marriage doesn’t mean you have to fight just the look you give to your husband straight away he got the message.
All this you have to put Islam first let the Almighty guide you, be sincere. Done ✅
@Amandeep Wahi
Thank you, for asking about our religion didi. ☺
The Noble Qu'ran, teaches us to obey Allah (God).
The minute we obey anything or anyone who isn't Allah, we leave the fold of Islam. Its a major sin.
We're even forbidden to obey Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Muslims are taught to follow the way he lived, as well as all the other Prophets (peace be upon them all). But OBEYING, is only for Allah (God). 👆
In short, we're forbidden from obeying anything/anyone who is not Allah. So we're also forbidden, from obeying our husbands.
@@misbahailia3345 stop spreading mis information. the only time a woman is right for disobeying her husband is if she is going against allah.
Allah also tells the men to marry obedient wifes.
11:53 Not just for feminine women, cleanliness is literally half our Deen.
Islam commands us to be clean in every aspect of our lives. Be that a bride to be, or a woman who chooses to be a single cat lady.
Men too.
Sisters, it’s ok to make mistakes, I’m also guilty of a lot of these 😅 so I had to give myself a reality check but let’s change from now on ok. So from now on, make sure you have a plan to go out or mix with people in a halal way every weekend so that you can be seen. They won’t find you hidden. 😁
But don’t misunderstand me, DO NOT GO OUT MAKING PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF YOUR SELVES TO ATTACT ATTENTION. Just being in a halal environment mixing with other sisters is good enough as they may know someone who is also looking etc.
I know some like to think that the ideal of our family memebers and local imams finding spouses for us should be the only way but the reality is that for many women all over the world, that is just it the case!
The men are not doing their part or even when they do, their ideals of who we should marry are not in line with our ideals especially in terms of deen and that is something that sisters have complained to me about whenever I tell them to let the men in their families help them to find a suitable husband.
If your family is not practicing, they find a man for you who doesn’t take deen seriously or has bad character and the problem begins there.
Most masjid I know of in London don’t even have any marriage match making service.
So, before anyone talks about me not giving sisters sound advice I do know what I’m talking about because I’m living it!
The ummah and the family of the Muslimahs have failed them in many ways and this is the outcome.
Asalaam Alaikum sister Nafisa. I pray that you're well Ameen as well as everyone reading and the Ummah.
Mashallah your video made me smile so much. JazakAllah Khairan and Allahumma Barik. 🤲🏽🇵🇸❤️
@@sacshebu4156 walaikumsalam 😉🤣 Glad you enjoyed it. Stay blessed ♥️
@@NafisasPearlz JazakAllah Khairan and Allahumma Barik. Sis this literally made my day. 🤲🏽🇵🇸❤️Thank you so much for responding. I agree with everything you said.😂😅🤣 It's so true. Some of us are not educating ourselves in what marriage is. In shaa Allah sisters your marriage and mine will be amazing, so don't get scared to get married. The honeymoon phase will go but as you mentioned sister Nafisa it takes work. P. S. Can I please ask you for the link to get the African stone to even out your skin tone, which you mentioned on your 'skincare routine' video😜. Many thanks, love sister Sabia. ❤️
Maa Sha Allah again, sister Nafisa. Thanks so much for all that you’re doing.
I’m one of those who doesn’t go out but will have to change that Inn Sha Allah. Jazak Allah Khairun 💗💕💕
@Nafisa Pearlz "They won't find you hidden 😷".
Aww. Seriously forget a husband, where can I find a friend like Nafisa? Lolz!
Plus, aren't Niqabi's hidden 24/7? 😂
Greetings. I'm not Muslim but wise counsel is wise for a woman of any religion. You have given perfect counsel and I congratulate you. And you have a great sense of humor! I like the 'Cat Lady' and the La La Land examples. Peace to you.
Thank you 😉😂
The 'Cat Lady' is my favourite one thou-😹😹💜
I'm a Christian I enjoyed your lecture it was great awesome and amazing.
I never never get approached and it makes me feel sad and kinda ugly too. Ive done many things to overcome my resting bitch face. Ive tried smiling and making eyecontact, but everytime I end up being shy and look constantly at the ground. I hope I'm not the only one in this. Peace!
Same here! I look shy and got a RBF
I'm near 29 and don't have men interested in me ever, apart from really yuck old pervs who are like 5'2
sister,i'm not muslim but i watch your videos like my life depends on it. i want to convert to islam so badly but i'm so scared of what my family would do to me. thank you for being here
Sis, I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. Know that your safety and wellbeing is the biggest priority, so if you do make that decision, you can conceal your conversion for as long as you need to. Allah SWT loves you and will take care of you. May He make it easier for you. Sending you love and patience ❤️❤️❤️
Do you live and rely on the family...
Sisters you are most welcome to Muslim Don’t be scary if you are a dult 18 or older. Family is always a Family after few months will become normal and will except you cuz you are their Family show them good maner with love ❤️ and caring. Insha Alaah i hope it will work
I’m sorry to hear that. May Allah make it easier for you to convert, ameen. Pray for God to take the fear away from your heart and give you strength to do it, make that prayer consistently and you will see the difference .
Will be wise to talk to your familly about it no how they fell explain why u want to change ur Religion try to make them understand ur reason and do some research firts about Islam so u will be able to answer the questions they answer. The main problem familly members have with Islam is the wrong news they get from media, so if u can explain Islam from how u understand it they might look at it from another point of view. I was Christen too fall inlove with Islam and choose it too but I did proper research and when I inform my familly I was ready to tell them about the goodness of Islam and that is a Religion of peace and I'm happy with my choice☺
My advice to all ladies is that, if a man calls you and and express interest in you and you want to find out whether he is serious about it or not, trick him by saying can you say hi to my mom or dad. His reaction will confirm if he's serious and definitely loves you. Sisters religion is the best measure of a good husband. After this the rest shall be added. Continue to pray to Allah for guidance and don't give up.
NO TRICKS! Just TELL him !
That is not going to get you anywhere.... absolutely terrible advice. It shows a lack of maturity, decency and no respect.
That is not the case my ex was coming home and some time eating home but at the end married another woman
The best thing is to say Dua for every Muslim girl or lady single, divorced to get a good husband
I love your name MashAllah🥰
Seems I'm the only guy watching this, but I benefited anyway
Going from the first one, I feel like a lot of married sisters really go too far when you ask them about marriage and start listing off all of the horrible things about it as if trying to scare away us unmarried women. I’m 27 and unmarried and I have received so many mixed messages in regards to marriage. I want to have a relationship where my partner and I grow together but all people continue to tell me is how terrible men are and how awful it is to be married and frankly I’m scared of marriage now. And the fact that my marriage has been delayed for so long (Allahu A’alam why) it gives me extreme anxiety in regards to marriage and men in general. I feel like I’m invalidated as a human if I’m not married, but I’m going to live a horrific life if I am. If you’re a married sister, please please PLEASE be mindful of how you present marriage to unmarried women. I understand venting to your friends and I understand that marriage isn’t sunshine and rainbows, but please stop ruining marriage by constantly highlighting the bad. I’m getting to a point my life where I’m starting to believe marriage is a bad thing and I’m leaning away from the idea of being married.
Excellent point!
I feel you
The same horror story this kind of sisters use for having children. Always say that have children means a lot of work, it is so hard to have children, they act like being married or having children is a fitna, no a blessing. Astagfirullah. I have find the solution; Just say, if is so horrible, why you are married, why you make another child? All are lie. Wallahi sister, the marriage is smth beautiful, if you find the right man, and by that I mean smo who fear Allah, who have the basic things that you want from a man, your life will improve towards Allah , you will find happiness, the love is rizk, so make dua to Allah to make it rizk for you my dear sister. May Allah bless all of our unmarried sisters and brothers with a blessing marriage. Ameen
@@hauwamuhammad2162 Asalaam Alaikum sister. JazakAllah Khairan and Allahumma Barik for your advice. Thank you so much. 🤲🏽🇵🇸❤️
@@hauwamuhammad2162 Thank you for sharing that sister, I think many will benefit. May Allah bless you with far better than what you lost! AMEEN
I related to walking in the street being unapproachable. There is a stigma that we can't meet somebody respectable on the street . Thanks for placing light on this issue sister 😃
Yes I get it, it is not the normal way to do it but it is beginning to happen more often nowadays.
@@NafisasPearlz Nafisa, I live in barking. I have to look somewhat reserved, because most guys here are "shy" to approach women. But none of them are shy, to stare women down.
I'm only talking about walking with my Mum. 🤦♀️
@@misbahailia3345 Subhanallah, those are definitely not the type of men to entertain at all! Be careful of such men with no manners or application of the deen.
OH THIS IS NEW FOR ME
Attend 23rd March parade. There are chances you will meet head of States. Just some random thoughts.
OMG I'm laughing when watching some part of this video 😂 I like the way you explain, Sis!
Salaam from Indonesia 👋
😂 walaikumsalam sister, glad you enjoyed the video
Even Indonesia is taking advice from Africa. African continent is so famous these days.
Yes Sister, preach 😂 we all need to hear this lol! May Allah reward you 🌷
😉 Ameen and Jazaka’Allahu khairan
I feel personally attacked with the point about being at home 24/7😭🤣but honestly.. I'm kinda confused. We're expected to keep boundaries, not free mix and lower our gaze etc but also.. put ourselves out there to find a spouse? What's the healthy medium?😭😭
I feel like I'm restricting myself and holding myself back by trying to keep things halal?😭
I think she meant that a husband will not come to your doorstep to ask for your hand in marriage. Sometimes you need to get out with friends, family or shopping etc.. you never know where you will find your husband 😁😁😁
@@kahuzibiega6120 Exactly. I'm not telling sisters to lose hijab and go out chasing men or approaching men, I'm just saying go and engage in life outside of the house (in halal ways ofcourse) so that people know that you exist and perhaps may recommend you to a brother, approach you or ask someone who knows you for more information about you.
Asalamualaikum sis she means the halal way lol. Go to your local Masjid talk to the Imam see if there's any brothers scouting for sisters to marry. There's so many ways just make sure your wakil is involved.
Your profile pic is so Haram 😂 Astagfurullah. Keep it halal sis, don’t listen too much music as well coz music and Quran will not go well😊
Even sticking to the routines of same time going to masjid or gym or work or somewhere were they can see you regularly and perhaps ask others about you is a good start. I met my husband at work- we didn't work together but he noticed me when I sent an email re. Xmas cards and this made him interested in me. Another ex colleague saw me praying once in the office when nobody was there coz I panicked my USB pen wasn't working. This made him notice me. Another ex colleague saw me talking to another colleague and liked how I talk with my hands, lol, and this also made him notice me. I'm not someone typically beautiful (dark skin Asian, short, etc) but each time these guys just saw how I am and then asked others about me who then in turn asked me if I would consider them for marriage. Sometimes you don't need to make a scene to get noticed. When they would speak I'd respond matter-of-factly but enough to know about them. Not easy to observe limits but keep your intentions pure and you'll be fine in shaa Allah. Not observing limits will make it harder to make a good decision
I feel like this is Allah's answer to my prayer. Glad that I found you sis ❤️keep preaching us single women to stay in straight paths and hopefully we can get married to those who are the best of our Deen and dunya ❤️
Ameen. Jazaka'Allahu khairan and I'm glad it was helpful in some way. May Allah guide you and us all to what is best.
Haven't watched the video yet but I was literally just thinking about this today: I was on the bus and a man approached me, immediately asked if I was interested in marriage. He couldn't speak English well and said his life was hard etc. I was naive enough to give him my number out of sympathy, but as soon as I got home I realised it was a mistake. My family told me a man like that is probably looking for a free Visa and I believe they are right. I cut ties with him asap. Please be careful because there are so many guys with ULTERIOR MOTIVES!
I understand what your family said to you, Thats my biggest fear : to marry someone whos only interested in papers... I get texts from guys from my country (as I live in Europe) and I always think what are their real intentions... You cant trust anyone.
Subhanallah, I feel so lost when it comes to finding a spouse... I am on several groups and marriage websites and I cannot find any man who fits my criteria. I've been looking so long that I literally shaved my list to the absolute minimum I could go, a man in the USA who is able to get a good job/income stable and who practices Islam. I used to have higher criteria (like higher educated to match myself) and I feel like I'm going to just lower my standards even more if I don't find anyone soon. I paid a lot of money and spent a lot of time on this and I feel like it's not going anywhere. I'm very close to giving up. I'm just tired.
Make Dua for me please. I really want to get married soon.
Thank you for the video. Excellent as always.
Sending duas your way. There is definitely someone somewhere for you, don't give up hope cause that way you'll be giving up hope in Allah Nauzubillah. I know it's easier said than done but keep working on what needs to working on and maintain a close connection with Allah.
You need to give it rest and take a step back.protect your mental health.you have done your best now leave it to Allah.
please prioritize Character and religion, and responsible man. forget everything else, other things will lead unsatisfactory expectations. all the best
Whats your age sister? Why don't you consult any mosque or dawah community
I find it ridiculous when society sets an age limit at which alarms go off like at 30 or whatever. Not every person gets ready to get married at the same age. I personally matured really late and only started developing a need/desire for a relationship after age 25.
@@rinab3001 Completely agree
Ikr its so toxic and unhealthy
Macha'Allah sister, without fuelling your ego, I must say your videos are always so interesting and relevant. Every single point you made is so important, and that's why so many women end up with narcissists, etc.
Thank you, I'm glad it's beneficial.
It’s the vibe for me...Allah bless you❤️
I think my problem is i’m unapproachable and don’t actually give people a chance
Cool. At least now you are aware so you can start changing that insha’Allah 😉👌🏾
Yes! Two of your points hit me in the core lol! I am guilty of being at home the majority of the time and not putting myself out there enough. I’m starting to do that more often especially in Muslim or culturally familiar spaces and it’s working. Also I have a great friend who’s on the same page and we support each other.
Secondly, I’ve always wanted marriage but I was definitely NOT ready a few years ago. I thought that marriage/being a wife was given as opposed to being earned and it’s a completely different mindset you have to enter into. The same way that I would like my husband to be the main provider is the same way I’m sure he’s going to want a woman who is a good homemaker. I’ve greatly updated my skills and it’s exciting.
Jazakallah Khayrun for making the video!! ❤️ May Allah continue to reward you!
Perfect sister. That is exactly the mindset. May Allah bless you and all those looking with righteous spouses who will be the coolness of their eyes, ameen. 🤲🏾
@@NafisasPearlz Ameen 🤲🏾
Aameen ya Rabbil'Alamin 🤲
20:48 thanks so much may Allah rewards you@@NafisasPearlz
Dreadlocks!!😂😂
This is soo enlightening.❤️
I remember someone asked a question at a pre-marital webinar I attended, she asked, 'how do we find the right one?'
The response: 'to find the right one, BE the right one'.
That stuck with me since that time.
Most of us fail to work on how to improve ourselves, while waiting to get married. We put our lives on hold because we aren't married and are waiting for the brother to come and change us, or we are thinking when we get married we'll change.
Like you said sis, our undesirable habits now will continue after marriage.
We should do the work ourselves, because marriage will only enhance what we have built within and around ourselves.
In the end our life is our responsibility.
Perfectly said!
The answer of ''how do we find the right one?'' is not ''be the right one'', the answer is first of all - ask the God for help about how to find the right one, at the same time, make sure you are being as righteous as you can. (2) wait till you get the answer from him, try to be unemotional, patient, understanding. (3) if Allah really want you to get married now or meet the right person now, then he may tell you what and what you need to do about the whole thing to make sure it happen for you, (I believe).
@@t-renallux3125 Thanks for the addition. Yes seeking Allah's guidance first before doing anything is very important. However, we don't just pray to Allah without consciously working on ways to improve our relationship with Him, our character and conduct. It's prayer first and action. That is what I meant by 'be the right one'.
If a single brother is working on himself to be the right one and a single sister somewhere is also doing the same, when they unite imagine the massive progress they would have achieved and would continue to achieve.
I agree with you that the First step is to seek Allah's guidance, then work on ourself and He will guide us to the right person.
I believe we should all have the mindset of being the right one, so that Allah guides us to the right one.
@@aisha_a. : Ok, I see....yeah, I think you are right, I believe there are many people now that are the right ones but they have not got the right ones with them now, I think some of these right ones are feeling the pain seriously bad now by not having the right ones with them now even though they deserve to have them now, so this gives them reason to feel the pain that something this unfair is happening to them, they are not getting what they deserve.
Thank you for the advice it was helpful and interesting !
Thank God, I found your video at the right time. May Allah reward you sister, lots of love from kenya❤️
Great tips! Love the background and presentation 💖
Sending you love and dua❤ MA SHAA ALLAH keep up the good work sis.
Everything you said is so true, especially the part about having to make the marriage work. I have been married for almost 5 years and I have been through most of what you have mention. I wish I have hear about this along time ago before I got married.
Aww, Masha’Allah sister but it’s never too late so get your game on point sis, it will help strengthen your marriage even more insha’Allah.💗
We watch Cinderella, Snow White and all sorts of fairytales that gives the stupid ideas in our head that once married, life is will be 'happily ever after' . Stop watching and stop believing in fairytales.
Sister Nafisa, your message is so on point….I am 72 and divorced and am happy with my singleness. I am not going for the ropey -dope. You can live a full life without falling for men who mean you no good. I know Allah (SWT) says marriage is half your deen, but these brothers pop so much yang til it ain’t funny. Perhaps the NU-YORKER in me is always on guard, but at my age I am aware of all the game there is to be had out there. If Allah the most high, blesses me with a good brother in my age group, Alhamdulilah, if not, it is still Alhamdulilah. I would say the most important mistake is falling for the 2nd wife deal…Thanks for staying woke!
Masha’Allah you made me laugh 😂 😂🤣
I appreciate your contribution to this conversation. Most certainly one can live a happy life without a spouse, some have lost their husbands and are still making the most of life although it is a highly recommended sunnah to marry and most women do seek that companionship alhamdulilah, it’s still important to find someone who will make life not soo difficult so choosing well to me is important irregardless of the age although the criteria will need adjustment (if the man is above 40, chances are that he may have children or be married already) so the woman many have to adjust but if he is good to her and can be fair to her then alhamdulilah.
May Allah continue to bless you our mother.
@Dorothy: Sister, mash´Allah, so happy to finally read a wise and sensible comment here. One mistake that I personally think the Muslim Ummah makes is to see marriage as the "be all and end all" achievement in life. It´s like, if you´re married, then you´ve arrived! The way women treat is feels almost like Shirk, nauozobillah. It´s that one goal, that one thing that they think is going to define them as women. Nobody really talks about this dunya as fleeting anymore, as just a temporary station. Imagine if we regarded reaching Allah with a sound heart with the same fervour and effort that we put into trying to get married? Now that´d be something.
Thank you for this! All of these are great tips and I don't mean to be rude or anything, but from your tone, I personally felt like you were making it as if women are not doing enough to prepare themselves for marriage when in fact, women have always been taught how to act and behave in preparation for the married life (in my culture at least). For years, I've been preparing myself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually for marriage. I've read stories of married women and moms and I've researched so much about relationship dynamics that I even counsel my friends in their own relationships even though I've never been in one. Right now, honestly what I'm scared of is that... the man I'm going to marry is not as prepared as I am for marriage. But as you said, one always needs to ask guidance from Allah. Inshallah, I will get married to a man who is willing to cultivate a spiritually fulfilling marriage with me.
Jazak'Allah khair. Wow, that part about waiting for me right to come knock on the door hit hard, felt like you was scolding me in particular. Thanks for the advice, May Allah Grant us ease
Every word is worthy! Jazakillah o khairen kaseera sister ❤️
Thank you for your amazing advises, Jazaka Allah Khair
I'm in my 30s lol..I feel like my standards just keep getting higher.. Allah help me..
On a serious note: thank you for this video.. alhamdulillah
LOL, ameen
OMAllah I’m in middy 20 and I feel the same. But Alhamdulilah this year I improved a lot and learned myself and that no one is perfect wallahi😂
May Allah SWT make it easy for us for halal marriage.
@@halalpolice7544 ameen ameen.. true sister...it's difficult to find the right guy.. and when I see my friend's marriages ..I'm like Oh Allah please save me from this .. it's so scary.. but we hold put our trust in Allah and just make lots and lots of dua ..
@@miss_S Why are they getting higher and what specific standard do you mean?
@@AC-mp7cx shut up Abdi uffff why y’all so insecure such an embarrassment walahi 🤮
Everything you said...sooo true!
You are spot-on in almost all you have said in this video.May Allah bless you for sharing your knowledge with others.Jazakhillahu Khayran.👍👍👍👏
Thanks for the awesome video ❤ jazak Allah Khair
Thank you for addressing us divorced women with children, over 40. I refuse to be a second wife secret or not. As a revert with less social connections in a western country it's yet another layer of complexity
I agree with you. May Allah make it easy for you sister.
@@rinab3001 I'll keep all that in mind. There are very few mixed events locally. The community leaders keeps the men and women very separate, excessively so. Jazakallah kahair for your kind and informative response.
By refusing to be a second wife that means you are disobeying ALLAH (swt) and rejecting His Wise Judgment.
(And whoever does not Judge by what ALLAH has brought down, then those are the Disbelievers) 5:44
@@invitationtoislam6062 no. I have a choice. All women have that choice.
@@louisedoucet8022 Sister this life is temporary, so it is better to have Taqwa and obey ALLAH The Wise, He knows best, besides there are more women than men, so what all these more women should do? They like to have families too, don't be too good for the judgment of ALLAH The Merciful.
If you read the Qur'an more you will have more trust in ALLAH (swt) and maybe if you read this book called: God Really Exists, you will have more reasons to believe. So trust in ALLAH (swt) and love your wonderful Muslim sisters.
This video I laughed and i LOVE.. love from Nigeria.. Jazakhillahu Khayr for all that you do for your sisters💜💜💜
🤣🤣 waiyakum
JazakumulALLAH O khairan ahsanal jazaye fidarain. Sister you took my heart😢. You are a great gift for me given by Allah.🍂
Masha Allah thanks for your great content. May Allah reward you for your channel. It was the intention for my channel but i couldnt do it well. Am happy i found your channel. Sisters take care of your look and cooking its true. Know how to cook
Hello. I just wanna tell you : thank you so much for all your advices, it's so helpful.
You seem so smart/intelligent, that I could listen to you for hours.
I'm happy, I found a new youtuber that I can follow.
Have a nice day.
Thank you for your kind words and welcome to the family 💗
Alhamdulilah for your wisdom and generosity to share is sister Nafisa
Jazaka’Allahu khairan my sister ❤️
Masha’Allah sister!!!
Like always beautiful advice💖
JazakAllah for being a Sister we needed
It’s so true and so helpful
Some people learn from their mistakes and some learn from others
And 2nd one is better but we understand late
You spoke nothing but reality and facts, may allah reward you💗💗✨
Ameen. Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Thank you for this 10/10 video! Sharing knowledge, holding us accountable and making us laugh❤️
Beautiful advise... All so on point. May Allah reward you for this. Sabr and trust in Allah is a must... #thumbsup.
You so accurate Nafisah..... Thank you for this truthful video❤️😘
Thank you Nafisa for such invaluable advice. I really liked the one about relying on Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ from the get go. Its sad that we seek Him only when things are to far gone. Alhamduliah i will embrace this practice, may Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ reward you for your knowledge. MashAllah
Nothing but facts here! Masha Allah you’re like my big sis I needed ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Sister thank you so much for this video and for your heplfull advices. i really appreciate the really good advices you gave to us. May Allah bless your soul and grant you the highest state in the jannah. Amin
Jazakhallah khair sister, this was soo helpful . May Allah reward you ❤
Ameen and you too
Thanks so much sister
May Allah see us through the right path❤️❤️
Ameen Jazaka'Allahu khairan ♥️
Jazakallah khair dear sister. I really need your advice right now. May the Almighty grant you al firdous.
I agree with all what you have said sister. May Allah bless you.
How do you open your heart to someone? How do you allow anyone into your space? Both mentally and physically?
I love the way you teach us MashaAllah:)
May Allah ta'ala increase you in knowledge Aameen
Ameen, Jazaka’Allahu khairan
Thank you a lot my dear sister ❤ may Allah guide us to the right path 🤲
Thank you, Sister!
So kind of you to share such useful advice with Muslim sisters 🥰
Nafisa, you are such inspiration to me! Thank you so much for this ! I really needed it now. Much love😍😍
You are most welcome my sister
ME TOO
😂 the hair part got me laughing
Same here i also get dreadlocks but do take care of my hair regularly but dont really brush cuz it makes my hair so frizzy🤣
I take my selfcare very srsly and also enjoy it and feel better and more confident about myself when i do but sometimes life gets in the way and mental health isnt always in my favor either which makes it more complicated and overwhelming to spend time on self care but i do make it a priority. I have been taking better care of myself the past year than ever before hahah, its a huge progress from the past Alhamdullilah when i used to battle terrible anxiety and depression leaving me debilitated
Salam Alaykum sister , Barakallahu fik for the video and sister, in your next video could you talk about the difficulty of finding places to pray at your time when you work or study? or to ask your teachers?
that was awesome. thank you very much
Big sis Nafisa looking out for us❤ Jazaki Allahu Khairan sister.
Waiyakum my dear 😉
😂😂 I really enjoyed watching this, thanks for being real! Jazakallahu khair
Mash’allah, what an amazing video 🥰🙏🏿🙌🏾
Mashallah sister. I learnt so much from this video. You really inspired me to become a better muslimah. Keep doing your good work .
Thank you so much 💕...you really don't know how much you are helping young girls by this vedio...may Allah reward you in the bestest way...ameen again thanks...am going to download this vedio and watch every single day this vedio as a reminder untill I found my self changed and updated 😂🤗
Ameen 😄. Glad it was helpful Jazaka’Allahu khairan
جزاك اللهُ خيرًا my dear sister Nafisa
It’s nice to have topics like that from a muslimah point of view. And truly I must say, it is hard nowadays to find someone honest and sincere and has the fear of ALLAH عز و جل in their heart. But so long as we remain true to ALLAH عز و جل and stay consistent and persistent In shaa Allah the end result will be worth the wait. May ALLAH عز و جل help us all and guide to His path. Ameen. May your work and effort be bless ukhti filahi.
Yes indeed I agree with you, marriage is risq from Allah so as long as we don’t give up and have a good expectation of Him, he will bless us in the end. Ameen to your duas and Jazaka’Allahu khairan.
Staying alive is more important these days. Dnt get Covid 19. Dnt do keto diet. Recite Surah Hajj.
Well said and totally agree! Ameen
I adore how you speak & adore your energy! You speak facts, sis. Thank you for your videos. :)
Love from Kenya!
I can't thanks you enough dear big sis for that video. You help me a lot really you can't imagine how many. Thank you again May the Almighty Allah bless you inch'Allah 🙏. Thanks you against
Asalaam walaikum... Trust ur well sister.
Can u start a madrasa series for us beginers/reverts please🙏😢it would be off such great help for us especially with covid and we not being able to go out, a madrasa series would be soo helpful. 💓
That would be wonderful sister but I’m not qualified to do that because it will require covering the fundamentals of the deen, reading & writing Arabic, fiqh issues and so on which I am not qualified to do.
I suggest you look online, there are many institutes who have programs like this for both children and adults and it’s very in-depth and well taught.
Thanks for sharing. Singles needs to loose up and go out a lot better.
Great work sis 👍 and thank you for helping us 💝😊
Jazakallah khair fir the new hope 👌
This has to be one of my favourite videos
Alhamdulilah 😉
Idk why I'm watching this when I'm 14. Lol I still think it's really helpful and the second point sounds so funny the way you said it .😂
Sahih Bukhari, vol 7, book 62, #65:
"Narrated Aisha that the prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old.”
Save it to watch later list.
Well you can start working on yourself from now. Like learning to cook, clean, maintaining the household, skin care etc. Starting on these early is a plus. And I regret not being told these things sooner in a proper manner cz the way I was told this just made me hate them.
You're smart to watch this at 14. The earlier you learn about marriage the sooner you'll be ready for marriage. It's so much easier to learn about the deen, marriage, etc. these days because everything is online which wasn't the case for my generation.
@@Sara-rt5mq yeah sister you're right. I think we should pray for good and pious spouses as soon as we understand marriage.
You are the truth Nafisa!! You pinpointed everything 💯❤️❤️ 💯 I am subscribing now
Thanks sister for this wonderful message you have shared with us
Loved it mashaAllah. Would love a video regarding us married women
😉👍🏾 noted. waiyakum
I do not chase I attract 👸
Yassssss!!!!
Amazing sister . I would add how quickly we get attached to a guy just because he is introducing him self well ... unfortunately and go over someone become difficult. May Allah reward for this wonderful place you are creating
JazakhAllahu khayran sister , beautiful reminder 🤎🤲🏾
Waiyakum
Masha’Allah 🤗💕❤️ sending a Hug my beloved sister, Thank you
Right back at you 💕
She nailed it!
I can boldly attest to most of the things she said are very true. Jazakumllah Khoran sister for this wonderful reminder. I know I'm a strong woman, but I'm not so sure if by any chance I had made myself a little unapproachable for some men!
We all have issues to work on sister so that’s ok but remember that your standards is only to give him the contact of your wali if he requests it otherwise don’t entertain any other haram engagement with any strange man.
May Allah bless you and all those looking with righteous spouses who will be the coolness of their eyes. Ameen
Exactly, no compromise on that!
So true God bless,sis u are just perfect thanks a lot.
MashaAllah great video, will share it along .Jazak Allah khair 💛💛💛💛💫👋🏽💎🦋
Thank you 🙏🏾