Being a Somali woman surrounded by entrepreneurial Somali women taught me that seeking financial independence is not anti-Islam. So many of the women in Somali families were abandoned with 10+ kids with no education or financial support. Two of my great grandmothers were forced to leave their kids after asking for divorce. We watched our mothers and grandmothers struggle to survive with no resources - what a shame it would be to waste our education and endless opportunities for a man
Allah humma baarik. You speak the truth sis. In my Pakistani community, it´s also very prevalent with fathers who have abandoned their family. In Pakistan, you´ll even see some good fathers making sure that their daughters get educated, because they know what type of a patriarchal society they live in. Daughters´ married status constantly hang by a thread, and women can need to support themselves and their children any second. It´s a meat market for the men, and they can get a new bride at the drop of a hat due to poverty and families desperate to get rid of their daughters (something even overseas Pakistani families often abuse, to import a young bride, then use her as a slave that nobody ever checks on (because her family is so far away), and the in-laws completely isolate her in the West. The Red Pill men often speaking of not wanting their wife to have family nearby, not having a phone, not having friends, reminds me of those families. They want complete control and to essentially OWN a woman and keep her captive. Such people are very calculated and plan to victimise someone vulnerable. In our culture, women are seen as expendable, astaghfarullah. A young bride is chosen for how white she is, her height, her youth, how miserly her parents are (so that the in-laws can keep demanding dowry in exchange for not divorcing their daughter) and sometimes even her job (the in-laws take all her salary and any jewellery gifted to her by her mother). Husbands will even tell new brides "Be happy that I chose you, cause seeing your parents and background...nobody would marry such poor people". A wife can get divorced for ANYTHING, as well as her children (especially sons) forcibly taken from her. A very common reason for just replacing a bride is if she doesn´t give birth to sons, if her parents refuse to gift her a car or any other demand of the in-laws, the mother-in-law simply deciding not to like her anymore, etc. This whole "living in fear"-scenario has made women fear other women, and become very very suspicious and cynical about life. It´s a "Dog eat dog"-culture, where everyone take whatever they can get, with any trick they can pull. There are also stories of brides coming into marriages fully combative, because they have a socially built up distrust of in-laws even before getting to know them. So all in all....our whole society is ruined because of the prevalent mindsets and patriarchy.
I have friends that got married straight after school, not even applying for university. I´m sad to say...today, those sisters are on their 3rd husband and abandoned with several kids. A highly risky situation for both kids and mother. When they don´t have an education to fall back on, they frenetically look for a new husband, to sustain them. And some of the Muslim husbands today are addicted to filth online, are cheaters (justifying Zinaa due to a mindset that it´s okay for men), chatting secretly with several women on marriage sites or downright having secret wives (some men today are encouraging each other and justifying it with dubious methods, when actually...Nikah is ordered to be announced in the wider community). It´s a rough rough world out there! While men´s "problem" may be fathers that don´t give their daughter´s hand in marriage because they don´t see they guy being able to sustain her the way the father does, women´s problems are much bigger. You may contract an STD as a pious woman, simply because the husband is cheating. You may risk marrying a predator, as a single mother with kids. You may become a secret wife, without your consent, to a husband that routinely uses polygyny as an excuse for "s...ual addiction" or lack of "s...ual discipline". The "worst" case scenario for men on the other hand, are losing money in alimony or having Sihr done by competing wives. Money comes and goes...but when a mother´s child is abused, her reputation in the community reduced to "divorcée", her contracting an STD etc...her and all the children´s lives can get ruined! Yet so many men out there keep worrying about "gold" that they don´t even have, or being hindered for polygyny (which many advocate for feverishly, knowing fully well the tight criterion under which Allah both makes an exception AND will take full account of on Judgement Day). It´s just one big paradox, many of the things said to women. We are trash-talked if we become single mothers. Yet, we are told that we´re nothing if we don´t marry and become mothers. We are shouted at to wear hijaab, yet we are sidelined by the only men we can marry, in favour for well-experienced non-Muslim women simply due to them being white and fulfilling the fetish-ideals of MANY Muslim men (who, again, get these ideals from....well, questionable websites). We are told that "All women are gold-diggers", but when we qualify ourselves to make our own money...then we are accused of being "Feminists" and not letting men be leaders. Sigh. What I sense is a deep-seated hatred yet feverish need to COLLECT women (as they seem to value themselves according to how many women they have "conquered"). Very very strange behaviour. They should not be mad that Muslim women are qualifying themselves, because their options are a LOT wider than ours. Both religiously and culturally. Muslim men can go and marry Ahl-ul-Kitaab, whereas our choices are miniscule in these times. If in that case, some sisters today decide to instead focus on elderly parents, a pious but self-sufficient life in their own home, being an aunty to nieces and nephews, building a career that´s based on gathering ajjr, etc....why is that so abrasive? As many of us are also told "You are outdated after 25", they should be happy that we aren´t marrying? We´re not a load on anyone, and we are alhamdulillah fully pious as long as we live, inn shaa Allah.
that is fine as long as the sisters keep the barrier of what is Halal. I have delt with many sisters like this and they struggle alot especially because there is not islamic supports in the west and even sadly in many muslim countries
Unfortunately Somali women be choosing the thugs or super tall Somali men who don’t have any reason to work or fulfill there obligations. This is the fault of the women .
As a Muslim sister who was a bread winner after my father passed away, I delayed marriage because I needed to work. Which is something nobody talks about. I am 29 and still single, but Allah is my protector. I once listened to the red pill talk show and was shocked with some of the things the brothers were talking about. May Allah SWT protect us. Subhanallah
That’s tough sister. Many men are fixated on the wrong certain sisters do by delaying their marriages that it is overlooked that there are others who had genuine reasons to do delay. May Allah help everyone
I've seen brothers also deal with extremes sis, a boy lost his father, his mom went to work and was very feminist and brother became an atheist and they used to try to secularize and lie to him and didn't prepare him for all the znuh he would see in the western schools, its still affects his esteems today.
The issue with some of these red pill akhis they are very quick to dismis genuine issues or concerns that sisters have. And any brother who has been consistent against feminism but also is aware of grass root issues of sisters, so goes against red pill talking points are labelled a simp. They behave as if all sisters are just available for marriage and don't have family that are behind them pushing them to get educated/work. We have sisters who come from homes that their fathers/brothers do not care to be Qawwam over them. Or we have sisters who have fathers/brothers who support them to seek education/work. Our communities are not the same. They forget many come from 1st/2nd generation immigrants who come with cultural baggage. Some have seen their mothers/aunties physically abused/made maids to in laws etc or come from homes who highly value education since their parents didn't have the privilege. These issues are not all rooted in feminism, but the discord makes it seem so. Quite unfortunate.
You hit the nail on the head, the 1st 2nd generation folk are dealing with a lot of generalitional trauma. The ones now are getting married younger, some are in a rush to live life. Others because their parents gave them that nurturing and guidance... a lot of conflation between culture and deen occurred within communities particularly south asian ones, and this had a very negative impact on women who saw that they were expected to be a maid n give up their families, many would actually commend brothers for their wish to care for their parents however this was abused it wasnt them it was their wives that did it at her expense... without a thought to the fact that she also has a mother ...n so now most have gone in the opposite direction, no where near in laws.. some brothers only have their mothers elderly n frail are in a predicament.. Also a lot of issues with the way the 2nd 3rd generation raised, cultural disparity n unequally males ans females, without the protective mahrams.. so women had to step up a lot and.
Honestly Sajid, you are a kind Muslim soul. May Allah bless you because we really need people like you speaking up. I’ve seen some of the content that I think you’re referring to and it was just shattering my faith in Muslim men but watching your video is a reminder that there are still Muslim men out there who understand that women are not these evil little demons who don’t want to get married and will leave you if you let them read a book.
Lol 😂 facts just like I said myself I watched lots of rp continent (for entertainment)and noticed that to it seems to be a made up narrative and ideology based on a false premise of women with no objective explanation that comes from hurt and insecure men putting Ina persona to be strong noticed they still bitch and complain about women even tho they have lots of women and don't get married anytime soon and live a promiscuous life and struggle with love they probably won't find a "high quality" women any time soon all though there is some things in to that is valid
Truthfully, even as a young woman, all this red pill movement stuff makes me feel super insecure and lost. I understand there is good aspects of the red pill movement, like promptings men’s health and respecting men and that’s very good. However, a lot of men really just hate women.
Same it has also been taking a toll on me, thinking I was getting older and nobody is going to want to marry me, I know it’s wrong to think like that but when I watch those videos I get so unbelievably sad.
@@theBakinNoob People go to these other ways of thinking and end up stabbing their own feet. The men with this 💊 and the women with “let’s get educated so we can be boss babes and marry when we’re 35 because we don’t trust men”. If we all turned to the one who LITERALLY made us and see what he has to say about the best way of doing something, we would surely succeed. I ask Allah to make us all righteous.
Same, sister. Youth is something Allah gave us and it will leave us eventually. So I could not marry someone, who would think I "expired". I have nothing against their view on being a virgin though, if they are virgins themselves.
i think it comes down to parents,if a boy is awkward to girls it can be due to his mom abusing him because she is a feminists which is man hating , esp. if she is single mom or even widow...
Lets be honest - a talk show with Muslim men and women discussing such topics like virginity, some who have their awrah showing and not blurred, is questionable at the very least.
@@user-ue4fh5mv9s Why does such a discussion have to be had between men and women? Why is that format required to learn? It will get more clicks, sure, doesn't mean its right.
@@user-ue4fh5mv9s are you seriously learning anything from them? Listen to actual scholars. Their students are going through all the effort to record the audio/video footage, transcript it, even translating it into different languages, and uploading it onto administrated official RUclips channels or Websites. All of this to make knowledge accessible for laymen, but you go listen to other laymen because they do a bit of lifting or talk about Redpill on RUclips? Sheikh Salih Al Fawzan has a RUclips, Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen, Sheikh Ibn Baz has an official Website, Sheikh Uthman Al Khamees, and many many more of the trustworthy scholars. Anybody who says "who should we listen to or learn from instead" is just announcing to the world how little he cares about his religion and getting accurate answers. You're being entertained by RUclipsrs, you're not learning anything.
Thank you so much for this video. I've seen many red pill videos and it honestly made me lose faith in Muslim men because it made me feel that they didn't view women as people but rather as a tool that they get to use as they wish. I'm glad that there are still Muslim men who can think for themselves and who will appreciate a women regardless of her age and dating history.
@@cimsonrose6844 Perhaps but without the extra information, it sounds like she’s upset guys don’t overlook her dating history which is what I reacted to
Thank you for articulating my thoughts so well. People are focusing too much on what everyone else is doing wrong, to the point of it being disrespectful and a complete waste of time. We need to focus on improving ourselves and our relationship with Allah first and foremost, because that will fix everything else inshallah.
Now even muslim talk like them, I have seen a comment where they were saying its not us that dont want to get married its women . They falling into the blaming game and partake in a gender war like them too . Where there is clearly women struggling alone with kids or older single women But no they want the young . And I have seen that alot in america where muslim men talk more about polygamy ( for lustful reason) but cant even wake up for fajr and dont even know the base of tawhid
@@noneofyourbuizness This war will end with muslim mn and wmn resorting to the same gndr to fulfill their desires because of their fear/resentment towards the opposite gndr. This is the goal of the enemies of Islam and it will entail the destruction of this ummah. Prophet ﷺ said, “Once my nation considers five things permissible, then destruction will befall them: when cursing one another appears, wine is drunk, silk is worn [by men], musical instruments are played, and men suffice themselves with men and women suffice themselves with women.” Collected by al-Bayhaqi in Shu‘ab al-Eemān (5055) who deemed it strong; also deemed ḥasan by al-Albāni in Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb (2054, 2386).
I have said it before and I will say it again. Watching your content is soothing. In a world where a few Muslim brothers are becoming increasingly jarring and pronounced in their ruthless unkindness - you offer hope, grace, balance and sanity. Thank you for that. ✨ May Allah bless you abundantly. ✨
I absolutely agree with the first point about being untouched before marriage. The same thing goed for a man. Both man and woman should not have intercourse outside of marriage. End of story I just can't understand that people act so lightly towards Zina
@@thelemurofmadagascar9183women supporting marriages with already divorced women and call it sunnah but when we talk about more then one marriage they start hating men
In my situation, I was getting a good proposal from my family My dad's sister knew that I wanted to marry someone who would actually practice Islam and not pretend. she knew that and took advantage of that and convince my dad that her son was a good Islamic person she forced my dad to yes and he did, my marriage only lasted for 2 months and the reason I divorced him was that her mother told me that his son is sick and it will take 10 years for him to get better I was like ok but I was not ok cause they should've been honest but then she was like Oh and my son also drinks alcohol and I told her that it's haram, my ex-husband, replied that it's just a juice also there was one more reason which I don't want to say out loud it was against Islam. Now it's been 2 years, and not even my family members are approaching me cause I was married once since I wear a complete hijab and burqa it's not easy to get approached by other people, and in Pakistan female Dads can't approach men for marriage that's a big issue. So there are female Muslims who want to marry men who actually practice Islam.
May Allah make it easy for you sister. All I can say is to stay patient and keep trying the halal ways of getting married. Allah says in surah Ar Rahman "Is there any reward for goodness other than goodness?".
For your father, I don't intend to judge, but it seems like a matter of pride. Approaching good men for daughters is like the basic thing that fathers have to do. Obviously we women can't and even if we did approach with good intentions to marry, we'll be quickly labelled as desperate and flirt. So the only way is for a third party to look a man for you. You should have a serious talk with your father and not let him just sit around thinking that somebody will come to ask your hand for marriage. We should go out in search of rizq even if it's prewritten and marriage is also a rizq so he should put in effort for you
@@shaziyaalfalasi5271 We need to make it acceptable for sisters to propose to brothers like how our mother Khadija proposed to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. This would solve a large part of the marriage crisis. Especially since brothers are too terrified to approach wmn now a days and sisters have like a 1% rejection rate so this would be very ideal. But this has been made taboo for a reason by f'e'm'i'n'is'ts etc. And Isn't it a good sign to be desperate for marriage in these hypersexual times of fitna? May Allah grant us hikmah...
@@Therebelliousprince001 i get it. And I fully support that as a Muslim woman myself. To be able to choose whom we like the character of is phenomenal and requires a lot of guts. But I'm saying what the general phenomenon is. It is true that not everybody has the same understanding in men, so when approached with right intentions, they are soon to assume the wrong of women. Not all. But most that don't have proper Islamic knowledge, they do think that way. Besides Khadija r.a also involved a third party for the proposal instead of directly proposing him. So it makes sense to involve a trusted person to speak on a woman's behalf.
A lot of women are terrified of marriage now unfortunately. The rhetoric is very scary. It’s led to a lot of women turning to feminism even if it’s not something most women want. Most women want to be provided for and stay home. But the scarier alternative is putting your life in the wrong hands of a man who is not fit for it. The result is women get older and just work and provide for themselves. I wish Muslim men would heal themselves and their misguided anger that has them manipulating and abusing women.
I’d also like to add that a woman getting a divorce and maybe being a single mom is the lucky result of a bad marriage. A lot of Muslim women are getting physically and emotionally abused and some lose their life entirely as a result of marrying the wrong man. It’s not the same risk as it is for a man who marries the wrong woman.
Exactly! Im grateful for brother saajid for making this video. Sadly many of us use religion to "control" woman, with the red pill also its almost like they want woman to dumb themselves down to go down to their level while they're not working on themselves. It is scary. And a woman who understand her rights in islam, and wants to do thing the right way for her own security, is labeled feminist. Most of these woman are good woman even, wants to get married and fulfils her role as a wife, but what wrong with preparing for unfortunate situations like divorce Im surprised seeing videos with tittles like " Is education important for woman?" is that even a topic of discussion?! and many man also are seeing polygamy like a free pass, to justify their cheating ways and lack of mental maturity to be committed in a marriage. it's scary. beraking many marriages and still thinking abt polygamy, if anything it proves that ur not fit for a marriage. may allah forgive us all, and may we all see everything in this world as a test that you will be accountable for, Allah does not favour one gender over another, we all have our roles to play, and don't take advantage of what’s allowed like you're not going to be accountable for it. And stop with " man age like wine and woman age like milk" eventually we all deteriorate and die, if anything that sentence comes from deep insecurities. How long do u have average 70 years? and then what? be humble man need to look at woman as someone you have to care for and protect, with that she will obey you naturally, not controlling her circumstances so that she cant leave u.
But men do control women through religion. Islam literally is patriarchal men are quawam over men by what Allah has decreed. Also yes the aging part is factually correct if you look at women loosing fertility at the end of their 20th's and it going down even faster in ther 30th's.
Great points here, What really gets to me with these brothers (even tho I'll keep supporting Dawah channels as long as I can) is when they try to paint women as stupid who follow feminists blindly!!! When most women r pursuing higher education because they're PRESSURED to do so (starts from the parents, then when u want to get married, FIRST thing these greedy men ask for "what do you do for a living""?!!! But if a woman does the same, she'll be perceived as a "golddigger" ...
Salam. I am a 28 years old muslim woman unmarried not because I chose to but because I haven’t received any good proposals nor was I approached by brothers. I live in Canada and my parents don’t know many muslims here. My dream was to get married early, i’m not even feminist or career oriented, I don’t care, I just wanted to find a good muslim husband with whom I get along and that I like but unfortunately didn’t happen yet, I don’t think it’s my fault, it’s out of my control. I’ve tried everything even muslim dating apps but nothing worked. It upsets me when brothers say that the reason marriage is delayed is cuz i’m a feminist, which i’m not.
@@shams8256 I know exactly what you're talking about (even tho I was married once before!) Actually living in the West can be a challenge for us (Muslims r a minority here, plus when we go vacation back home, all those potential grooms see us as "immigration papers""!) We'll, some UTube Dawah channels seem to think women have unrealistic standards but men do too (they want her young, a virgin, educated, working, doting doing house chores, beautiful, smart, obedient/accepts all his b.s etc. & the list goes on). At least, with us women, it's not our fault, we are hypergamous by nature (makes sense, we like to marry on our level & up. Even in the animal kingdom, look how during the mating season the males go out of their way to impress the females, to 'subdue' her, he gotta appeal to her) Don't worry sis, this issue is worldwide & all women are saying the same thing. They know what's up & what women want.
Was just gonna say sister, with the horrible stories we've heard within marriages in our country within last 2-3 years, would you say that many sisters you know are going along with what the brother said at 2:48? I've seen a lot of sisters on Pakistani social media encouraging other sisters now to be financially independent, just because if they happen to get an abusive husband, they can leave him and take care of themselves...
U rtaking things out of the context! Its a two way road, problem is that women asking for a guy with deen should have deen themselves as well! Unfortunately both are responsible for distruction and you cant blame men only.
@@publicpm8809 You got it wrong aswell brother. Women in general who talk about want a guy with deen either 1) don't have education of deen or even basic fundamentals of a muslimah 2) They want a man with a predefined characteristics of an attractive generic male and THEN they want such a man to have Deen.
I watched the videos that you talked about and felt really worried about their comments towards women. Khadija (RA) was married twice before she married Muhammed (SAW). There must be some wisdom behind that . The brothers making this comments about divorced/older unmarried women may have daughters one day too. I wonder how would they feel if people said the same thing about their daughters? All of us need to think about the way we speak. Jazakallakahair for making this video.
Are you blind to your sisters vids/cmnts insulting/hating on mn? Just because the world has a double standard doesn't mean Allah will. Sisters will also be held accountable, inshaallah...
Khadija RA married twice. Doesn't that indicate that she indeed acted upon her fitrah, women always bring her up to justify their feminist agenda for work or late marriage, this is a baseless argument, because she married twice, before our prophet SWS. I don't think men who consume this content are serious, will chase 18 year Olds, many men I've known who are Muslim married older unmarried women, and women with children. I guess when these edgy boys go through life, they will mature.
Honestly your insight is unique in this Islamic RUclips scene. I think that shows how honest to god a person your are. and don't pander to controversial stuff. I'd like to see you on a podcast, and give push-back to some of the people on this scence tbh.
As a Muslim woman in her late 20s who has both been trying to get married whilst focusing on my career and my own Islamic self development, I find this narrative from brothers so rude and upsetting. I'm worried about the future of my parents and trying to secure my own future when there are so few decent brothers, yet I am also being demonised by these same practising brothers. I don't work because I want to, I work because I have to, and I am not going to throw away that security for a brother who can barely provide for us, let alone for my parents too
That’s tough sister. I’m assuming when you do get married, you won’t be spending too much time at home because you’ll be busy? That’s a hard pill to swallow if you think about it. The husband is going to have to accept a lifetime with a woman who’ll be perpetually tired and exhausted, not to mention barely more than a few hours for his kids. May Allah make it easy for you and everyone else.
@@alphauno6614 No actually, I intend to work part time or as little as necessary, but that's not what brothers I have spoken to are asking for. Many want somebody who will be willing to leave her work after kids, with little to no consideration of alternative childcare possibilities. Qadr Allah, I know Allah is saving somebody far greater than anybody I have spoken to yet and I am content knowing that He responds to my duas. It was just refreshing to hear brother Saajid actually acknowledging our POV. When you're constantly bombarded by red pill content, you start to internalise some of the stuff they say about you. I'm still a bit traumatised by Smile2Jannah describing working women as having "masculine traits" 🤣🤣
@@Bittarig if a man wants his wife to stay home after kids, whats wrong in it ?, That's whats wrong in you, who prefer career over family, when in Islam a women basic obligation belongs to home. There is no wrong if you're Husband will prevent you from work because of intermixing environment there or because of kids. In such time even islam completely discourage women from working, and if a man is earning handsome amount, then according to many scholars it becomes prohibited upon women to work in an intermixing environment. Such attitude isn't of one who prefer deen over dunya, either accept it or not.
@@aftabahmad8658 y’all cannot even afford a house or fix your family first and you want women to stay at home and maybe get abused, cheated or left for a younger one when she has kids right?? Did you listen the video or you are too stupid
@@Bittarig Are you kids less important than your job? How come you can't get married then, there are plenty of modern muslim men, traditional Muslim men want a wife, I fully agree with them if they want her home. Don't expect a traditional man, if you yourself are not willing to stay home and lead the home.
I saw Ali dawahs video before yours and honestly, I agree with you on every aspect...you always come up with a different insight and point of view contrary to so called "Muslim scholars/preachers) I see. Thankyou for addressing. JazalAllah khair!
Allahi jazik, very very insightful. They are the exact reasons that many many sisters delay marriage and their parents encourage them to get an education. Because they don’t trust the men that spout this unIslamic ideology. The religious ones are the most worrisome 😢
Dear Brother Saajid: Martin Griffiths, who is in charge of Emergency Humanitarian Aid at the UN, is trying to end the rescue mission for earthquake survivors in Turkey early. We need leaders like you to speak up against this, as more people could potentially be saved within this week and even the next. Please spread the word so the Muslim community can take action. Thank you.
there are people being rescued as i speak. just now a 10 year old boy was saved at the 260.th hour, unscathed. this is more than a miracle. within the span of the last 24 hours 3 people were saved all on their 11th day after the earthquake. i was surprised the teams from abroad all left after a week. it is the turkish rescue teams, that are still working.
We don’t need to beg the kuffar to help us especially their organizations/aid they use to change policy and usher in liberal ideologies through to our countries. Our help will come from Allah alone
Salam. I am a 28 years old muslim woman unmarried not because I chose to but because I haven’t received any good proposals nor was I approached by brothers. I live in Canada and my parents don’t know many muslims here. My dream was to get married early, i’m not even feminist or career oriented, I don’t care, I just wanted to find a good muslim husband with whom I get along and that I like but unfortunately didn’t happen yet, I don’t think it’s my fault, it’s out of my control. I’ve tried everything even muslim dating apps but nothing worked. It upsets me when brothers say that the reason marriage is delayed is cuz i’m a feminist, which i’m not.
Same sister. I’m also Canadian Muslimah. What a lot of people don’t understand is how hard it is for Muslim sisters who live in the west. It doesn’t help that some of us come from cultures that don’t help their youth to get married early like Arabs. May Allah make it easier for us who always wanted to be a wife and mother but are not.
@@becomingRaha you are right and some people suggest to look for a spouse abroad (especially from our countries of origin) but I’ve seen too many stories where the husband just used his wife to get the permanent residency or the visa so I don’t trust anyone.
I wonder why all the other comments got deleted. You had way more thumbs up and replies, but it’s all been removed. I wrote a lengthy reply too but it’s no longer here. I wrote about putting your trust in Allah and be prepared to be a good wife and mother, you never know what Allah has planned for you. I was once in your shoes, never knew I would end up settling down and having kids later in life.
@@greenhomestead6305 there was a brother who was arguing with me, he was saying that there is no proof anywhere in the Quran or hadiths that married is rizq or a provision that Allah gives, he said that I was wrong to think that marriage is Qadr and predestined so we were debating, I sent him videos or shaykhs and links but he said I didn’t provide any proofs, so I ended up deleting my original post because the brother was being very judgmental and saying that marriage is only because of free will and that I might have high expectations, which is not true.
Thank you brother for stepping up and talking about this subject. Jazaka allaho khayran. Exactly we women prioritize studying and working because we don't want to end up like our mothers! We don't want to end up being treated like we have seen women being treated in our society! We have seen uneducated women being used and abused and they can't do anything about it because they can't support themselves, we have seen divorced and widowed women beg for food. Righteous men are really hard to find these days so we will not give up the only physical thing that we can rely on "our work" for someone who can throw us away at any second. If feminism had found its way into Muslim societies, it is because muslim women did not know and were never given their Islamic rights by muslim men!
@@u-kneeque I never said we're doing great. But what is the solution? Is it to promote wmn to attend secular universities and work and abandon being wives and mothers? Is it to promote mi'sa'nd'ry and lesb'ia'ni's'm amongst wmn? The solution is that we call to the sunnah rather than following deviant ideologies. Excluding the exceptions, a wmn should be able to go back to her father/brother/uncle etc in such cases. This is the islamic solution. Blaming the opposite gndr for everything is not going to solve our problems. Infact it will only make things worse. I'm sorry your dad left you. I hope you find a righteous husband who will love you and protect you...
If only these men would follow our role model prophet Mohammed PBUH. He married at 26 to Khadijah who was 40 and a widow and absolutely loved and adored her.
Yeah sure. But are these Women like Khadija as.? Khadija was older than the Prophet saw. she was a busineswoman ( but not in the modern sense i.e. going on the market mixing and constantly intermingeling with non-mahram men or having a male boss) she hired trough agents.and let other people do her trading busines with the caravans . She was NOT in the mix (huge difference to most ''career-women'' these days) IE she did even propose to the Prophet saw. trough agents!! So Khadija was older (ok), she compared to the Prophet was RICH , while he was not, she took a liking to him and proposed PRIMARILY because of his good charackter!. Now tell me how many women would do that? On top of that she was a good housewife WHO obeyed her husband , took care of the children! You see this? Rich woman, still a housewife and homemaker, still being a very gooood wife and OBEYING and never disrespecting her husband( the Prophet.saw) Which woman does that? Khadija did this! How many woman who have a higher social status ( for example very good income!!! or university degree) would be first of EVEN willing to do that? (mary someone of lower socio-economic status IE: Woman with degree marying without degree: or richer marying somebody with significantly less income or even poor ) and then BE let alone stay a faithful, obedient wife ? How dare you compare most(many) of todays women to Khadija as.?
@@keycard6828How dare you think you are enough like the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to even deserve a wife like Khadijah (ra)?? Are most Muslim men even on the Sunnah? Do they idolize Tate or look at the Sahabas as role models? Stop being a 🤡
I can say from experience in this situation that I tried that and was unsuccessful, married someone of lower standard and looked past all that, only to be divorced a month later, sometimes these things happen to teach you a lesson. Look for CHARACTER and DEEN most importantly ☝️
I mean just talking for myself as a Muslim man, in high school and college i've had women try to get me to do things with them, and alhamdulillah I never did anything the whole time. So if I've stayed away from that action, I am wrong for wanting someone that's done the same. As for the part of her being younger I don't really care much about that, as long as we aren't very far in age I don't care. And as for her being educated and working, even as the man my first and second priority is my deen and my family. Sadly Saajid there's a good portion of even Muslim women that think the same way. Inshallah all I really want is a pious muslim women that I'm attracted to , shows gratitude for my efforts to please her, pushes me to be a better muslim.
You are not wrong or bad for wanting a wife who is in the same position as you. Keep working on yourself and make lots of dua with full faith for a good spouse and inshallah one day you will be given someone perfect for you :)
Because young men like me are poor, and nobody wants poor men. There were always undesirable and poor men, that's the way of life. The problem is that now, more and more men are struggling financially, all while the standards for what is financially ok for marriage, have risen dramatically. 30-40 years ago, you could plausibly study, and enter into the workforce at 23-24, and buy a house at 30-35 in Cash all while getting married at 25. Today, at 20 I can't even afford a driver's license. My friends who are 24-27 don't have cars either. Men talking about wanting young women is a coping mechanism, a sour grapes fallacy, an illusion of choice. I just want a Muslim wife, idc younger or older, divorced widowed or virgin. Just a righteous Muslim wife I can build a life with. I don't blame women, I love my sisters in Islam and wish the best for them, inshaAllah they all get a righteous husband of their liking. My issue is the older generation not seeing the writing on the wall. Even my parents still think if you just finish University with good grades you'll make enough money and everything will be fine. Not gonna happen. Anybody denying this knows nothing about the macroeconomic trends at play.
From the female perspective, I think we are also suffering at the hands of media narratives and fictional fantasies of men being rich and attractive at ages as young as 25, when in reality our own fathers weren't financially stable until well into their late 30s or early 40s. Some of us girls are being disillusioned by this change in standards, and as such are not being very forgiving or patient with men our age who are struggling financially. May Allah make it easy for our brothers and sisters
@@alhomsiyyah that's one part of it. The other part is that the increase of income for average people, has been very small in the last 40 years when compared to inflation, and most certainly when it comes to increases in house prices. Simply put, an engineer or a doctor today at 25-30 years old, can't afford nearly as much as an engineer or doctor could afford at 25-30 years old 20+ years ago. One reason the older generation is less affected by this economic stagnation, is because they got to buy assets (small business, house, rental apartments etc.) at a cheap price, and the insane increase in value on these assets easily offsets the stagnating incomes they have had, because rents on their appartments would have doubled in the last 10-15 years for example, while the income (the sole income) of a young person may have only went up 20-30% in the same timeframe. We need to talk about this in the Muslim community, because this changes things a lot. It's no longer possible for many men to afford a house without Riba at all, for many married people, 2 incomes are required to build up savings during a period of increasing inflation. If we don't talk about this and look for solutions, we will have an issue of marriage age continuing to rise, and the Prophet SAW warned us specifically about a society with many people of marriage age, being single.
That women only cares of money is a myth, you see women with bums all the time, cause they can talk. Anyway, the halal way is the best way, not just because its halal because its more natural. Just knock the door of a good family who has a daughter, sitt down, talk to her, see her, if you vibe, you vibe and money and looks is no issue. If shes materalistic and shallow, shes nothing to have anyway
Sheiks never talk about sexist men because more than likely they themselves are sexist and have red pill views it’s a tough time for sister but sisters hold on jannah is the goal and whatever you wish for ❤
Modern day sheikhs don’t even talk about the dangers of liberalism and feminism because they know they’ll lose their jobs lol 😂 So they have to sugarcoat everything. Indeed we are nearing the end of times.
Well a lot of scholars in the past would be called red pilled by todays standards as well. And obviously muslim men are sexist. You take a western word and apply it even though we would all be included in it. Women not being allowed to be judges or caliphs is sexist you do realise that?
Yup they are very male identified and until the men say something that is completely out of the folds of Islam than they will say something other than they are quiet as a mouse. But they have no issue terrifying down “feminist hijabis” LOL and making countless videos on them 🙃
Not sure where you live... but North America is full of feminist imams. Yaqeen Institute... And their likes. Can't speak for other places. Don't paint every place on earth with the same brush.
As Salaamu Alaikum. I think what really hurt me with red pill ideology, was seeing how my own brothers in Islam possibly perceived me. Feeling as though I could never dream to be an "ideal" woman. Idk about anyone else, but I reckon we're all just trying our best in this life and are not perfect. What happened to loving each other for the sake of Allah and having rahma? It's just a shame. May Allah Subhanna wa Ta'ala guide us all and forgive us for our shortcomings. And before anyone wants to call me to account for it. I can't imagine the harm feminism has caused our brothers. Our brothers are valuable and are deserving of love and respect. I wish the ummah would've just turned to Islam and not this secular nonsense.
Wa alaykum salam. The words being used by some Muslims has definitely be hurtful. They could get the message across with empathy and kindness, but some resort to bashing and making women feel bad instead. I do think they make some valid points though, its just not going to be accepted because of the delivery. Also another factor is that the effects of feminism are sometimes very subtle and many women might not even realize they've been affected by it. We all need to learn without putting each other down. May Allah(swt) grant you a righteous husband sister.
The internet naturally is polarizing. Ignore anybody on the internet falling into either camp of extremes, they're always using hyperboles and extreme examples and foul language to attract attention, and make money, nothing more. Your brothers in Islam don't view you that way. 5% of teenagers going through a phase of rage are leaving these comments, and they grow out of it eventually, so pay no attention and put no weight on these comments/videos, they're irrelevant.
My grandma was sold into marriage while her brothers went to school. My grandma NEVER set foot in one. Most of her generation were forced into marriages were abuse was the norm. Feminism was necessary
Salam sister what you said is completely on point, talking about it from my side of the coin, some of the standards that Muslim women have for men are so unjust. I've had muslim women laugh at me for my income even thought its 65k a year, but worst is when you get laughed at about just way allah made you, like height. Not only have I been reticuled my whole life for just being the average height, at school, at work, everywhere I go. Wallah it makes you feel worthless when have been doing combat sports for more than 5 years and are great physical shape and a girl at 5'1 says how can you possibly protect her at 5'8. After that I went to my car alone from my family and just cried for a good 20 mins and just drove away. Too many people are expecting perfection in marriage and they don't even realize how disrepectful and hurtful they come off, its to the point that the idea of settling is considered a negative thing. Muslims need to start to learn about their deen because should be our blueprint, not some ideology that was made by some random human like all of us.
It's pretty simple actually. Muslim men should get involved only with women who will be traditional wives and obey their husband. If you can't find this, for whatever reason, Islamically you should stay away from the noncompliant women, wish the sisters the best, and move on until you do find one. Just stay away from modern feminists as you would any other unIslamic thing in your life.
I am unable to understand why some of our brothers are parroting this red-pill ideology when we have Islam already - a religion that discusses all aspects of life. We need to take guidance & advice from our divine religion instead of these man-made ideologies which came into being as a reaction to feminism.
A good muslim man would have no problem in considering a widow/Divorcee, to talk about body count to women who was previously married is not fair. What men don't want is to marry a girl with body count BEFORE marriage (or who was never married before).
Thank you. I don't watch that content, but hear some things. These men forget they're talking about their sisters in faith. Don't they realise different people go through different things, especially before finding (or re-finding) islam? Some of these types of ideologies are against Islam and are exactly what entice women to feminism... It makes clear the double standard men have. And associating these ideologies with Islam is just as misleading as it is confusing for the general Muslim, particularly women (who tend to be more agreeable, influenced, and emotional). These men want wives but not a marriage. They don't realise (many or most) women want someone who's gonna respect them, love them, take care of them. Not someone who's gonna talk crap about them or women as a whole. That only reveals what his potential perspectives towards her will be. It could make her feel down on herself or insecure or unworthy. Maybe some women aren't like that, idk. Allahul musta3an, may Allah guide us
Muslim Wmn should have rejected f'em'i'n'ism and stood with their brothers in faith. Instead they chose to follow it and turn against us brothers. This RP influence on brothers is new. Sisters on the other hand have been influenced by f'em'i'n'ism for years...
@@Therebelliousprince001 Social media is new and mainstream redpillism (if it can be called that) is new but some of the related thoughts and ideologies have been around for way way way longer. The type of things that men, (especially players and pimps, but maybe the average man as well), would talk about in their spare time or in rap/hip music. There's a lot to consider but here's just a couple things: -There is a long history of double standard in treatment that women have faced in (but not exclusive to) Muslim majority countries and Arab culture which could've contributed to their initial appeal to feminism. -Some men have been misusing some principles against women while not applying the same stringency upon themselves from long time. -there are other factors as well such as the western influence on promoting the wrong values and discouraging the right ones But even if you're right that it's new, doesn't change that the ideologies are wrong, and shouldn't be endorsed Its a whole picture where both sides have substantive reasons for being where they are/ holding the views they do, but ultimately both are wrong, place value on the wrong things, and are disrespectful (albeit in different ways) to the opposite gender.
@@Freedom_for_Palestina feminism was planted more than 50 yeaes ago in the muslim countries by colonial regimes red pill wasnt. Red pill wasnt spread like feminism was not to mention how red pill controversy in the muslim community wasnt here for such a long time
2:48 This was exactly on my mind the other day..... I just recalled how on Pakistani social media there's an increasing trend of sisters encouraging other sisters to be financially independent, giving the reason that domestic violence and husbands leaving their wives in the dust has increased. And if it were to happen to one of the sisters reading the comment they should be able to cope with such an experience. So now nearly every woman wants to work a bit out of this fear, even if it were from home (ofc this means they sometimes also delay marriage)
Two wrongs dont make a right...if men is not suitabke then your religion gives you the permission to take divorce and get married again..if that is your defination of dealing with this problem that all the women should start working than that is stupidity especially in a country like Pakistan where you dont have enough jobs for men even let alone women! If you really wanna do the right thing then put all ur energy in moving the people more closer to islam rather then giving them men made false hope and solution as that will bring in even more distruction!
@@publicpm8809 When did I say its my definition of dealing with the problem? Btw 'definition' or u mean 'suggestion?' Anyways, I'm just pointing out what I've seen sisters talking about. I'm not giving any opinion about the problem 🤷♂️
@@maazmustafa2322 brother if you are writing about it and mentioning it in Ur comments so directly or indirectly u r promoting it cz u believe it is true and that's why u quoted that over here as an example so I'm not wrong if I said "Ur way"....all I'm saying is two wrongs will not improve anything but will definitely create more mess, Pakistan don't even have the capacity to give jobs to men and if women will start jumping in regardless of if they really need it or not then what is going to happen cz we both know in Islam when men earn they support the whole family on the other hand many women working and sitting on top places don't actually need those jobs, they are just doing it so that they can keep an upper hand on their husbands and for socializing
@@publicpm8809 🤦♂️🤦♂️ Me writing it in the comments was just me recalling how I just saw what brother sajid was discussing at that 2:48 min mark. That sajid is right. I myself have seen these things occurring now and becoming a reality. Whether these things happening is correct or what is the solution to it... I don't know.
Feminism, liberalism, progressivism , cultural baggage and wokeness led to most of the marriage issues today. Islam makes it simple but people go against Islam
@not me I never claimed red pill should be followed. I don’t follow it because the Quran and Sunnah is enough for me. But when we look at today’s marriage crisis, red pill is not causing as much as a problem as feminism and liberalism is.
I’m 33 and this red pill movement makes me feel like I have no value and makes me feel lost and unattractive. I have been trying to get married for years. I am the primary breadwinner in my family due to my dad being very sick. Please make dua for him, he is in the hospital right now. I would love to have a loving husband who will provide for me so I can stop working.
It is not you have no value it is men more likely to look for young one atleast below 30s. Thats fact in most scenario.. Men in there 40s might look for those in 30s.. This is the reality.. May Allah grant you good spouse..
@@gladiatorfarid1580 I was interested in a man in his 40s for marriage but he decided he wanted to be with someone from his tribe. My dad passed away after this comment. I am just going to work on myself and have trust in Allah.
This 'bodycount' thing doesn't really apply to divorcees. What some men, mean, is they prefer women who have not slept around outside of marriage. Of course, feminist types like to conflate these two things in order to strengthen their argument.
@@alhomsiyyahit doesn’t apply to divorcees or widowers. Stop this. Most men only apply it to women who do zina, because as @adamp2426 said, feminists are conflating these two things just to make men seem worse and give a free pass to zina.
It does apply to divorce, they keep saying keep away from single mothers and they are used goods, also body count can’t be used against men or woman in Islam as when you get married you don’t disclose your sin as it’s forbidden. So how will you know if someone is a virgin or not? And you cannot accuse someone of Zina without evidence or you will be the one sining. The red pill doesn’t work in Islam
Salaam brother, this is a great topic and a few good points just prove how toxic and anti-Islamic the whole red pill culture is. Allah bless you and protect you. My observation about women delaying marriage -- or at least in my quarters -- is that it is to focus on career. I feel like the greater message that needs to be told is that "college and marriage are not mutually exclusive". And lots of women I know of get married and tell me that suddenly all their husbands do is sit on the couch, dealing with "failure to launch syndrome". But with divorce being so common, and families not knowing how to raise good mature Muslim men, and the Muslim community so helpless, it is important for women to be able to have a backup plan, for better or worse. Otherwise you'll have a bunch of mid 20's women with kids (divorced or in an abusive marriage) complaining to the local imam.
As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ predicted things will only get worse and it seems that it will get to a point where muslims will consider normal relations with the same gndr since they fear/hate/resent the opposite gndr. Prophet ﷺ said, “Once my nation considers five things permissible, then destruction will befall them: when cursing one another appears, wine is drunk, silk is worn [by men], musical instruments are played, and men suffice themselves with men and women suffice themselves with women.” Collected by al-Bayhaqi in Shu‘ab al-Eemān (5055) who deemed it strong; also deemed ḥasan by al-Albāni in Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb (2054, 2386).
I disagree tbh because the back up plan aka university is actually only increasing the odds and chances of these relationships not working. Actually thats why divorces are happening, yes maybe to do with freedom but nobody is taking into account the potential stress it adds to women along with having children or behavioural changes aka becomes bitchy because she needs to behave like that in these toxic soulless work environments. This isn't even to mention the amount of muslim women who are dating and sleeping around in western universities than trying to tell guys they cant marry because they are too busy studying. I'm annoyed at the gaslighting and rationalizations muslim sisters do tbh. Many are trying to once again blame men when its quite obvious the new increase in divorces and relationships not happening is primarely due to cancerous female empowerment movements in the west. Its affected muslim and non-muslim women.
JazakAllah Khair. Red pillers and feminists, harming our islamic culture and straying our brothers and sisters away from actual problems in the muslim society. Instead they're creating more problems and more animosity and friction and increasing the lack of compassion in the society, for eachother. May Allah protect us from these evil movements and may Allah protect us from the shar caused by these evil movements. Aameen
Brother the individual Mehdi Tijani goes on shorts advising women to engage in mutah. He was invited to Daniel Haqiqatjou a few years. So imagine the toxic red pill philosophy between the two. The guy Tijani keep away. He does not represent Islam. Neither does Daniel Haqiqatjou. Then on the feminist extreme you get Saffiyah Sabreen. Stay away.
OMG!! I was hoping that you'd do this video!! I've watched some of the debates even from Muslims that have been floating around on RUclips and I was hoping that you'd shed some light on it. As always may Allah bless you brother.
I’m from Malaysia. The third one not happened here. Malaysian males mostly want to find working female to be his wife. And they also demand about the female career. This is also a problem too. Big3 problem with muslim males here. It’s because, in most cases when only the husband working, the family will have financial problems. And more pressure will be onto the husband to make ends meet. So they are afraid of that and they expect the wife to help them financially in the family.
Even if it was in a more appropriate format, it is still unproductive as their arguments seem to be based on RP ideology, statistics done on non muslims, their own feelings and emotions etc rather than the Quran and the Sunnah.
@@Therebelliousprince001 I totally agree and I was not talking specifically about these guys who are currently doing this on YT. I mean to say that if it is a must to have a conversation/discussion with a nonMahram woman for whatever reason it is best to occur من وراء حجاب.
@@WeEducateAndTutor Do you mean behind a screen? It is sufficient if the sisters are all wearing the proper hijab/niqab. These conversations between mn and wmn seem to be necessary due to how marriage, the family and the relationship between mn and wmn are crumbling before our eyes. But it should be done in an islamic setting and the Quran and the Sunnah should be quoted.
@@therebelliousprince0073 I am yet to find a sheikh who subscribes to the salafism (e.g. sulaiman alruhili, ibn baz, bin uthymeen, abdulrazzaq albadr, etc.) sit with a nonmahram covered woman to discuss matters of deen.
@@therebelliousprince0073 even the idea i proposed from behind a hijab, on an audio-podcast format, our prominent salafi sheikhs have not done that before - as far as I am concerned. They only take questions from nonmahram women, but dont do podcasts with them or give and take.
Allahumme barik! Nailed it again my brother. It's interesting to see that these problems like abuse and basically everything you talked about are not region/country specific, but unfortunately seems like it's all over our ummah. Continue talking about this brother, may Allah give you long life, ameen.
Let me play "devil's advocate"... 1. For a girl not to have a past: This is a no brainer. Biologically this is desirable and if a woman has a past it creates doubt and uncertainty in your future... Additionally there are hadith supporting the idea for men to marry chaste women... in today's society where cheating is so rampant, you just can't trust a woman with a past to not cheat on you... 2. For a woman to be young: This is obviously just desirable on the level of physical attraction to most men. However, a younger woman is also sometimes easier to work with... since she's young, she isn't fully set in her ways yet and she's easier to develop with. However, men need to sacrifice here. Not all of us will be blessed with young girls.... get over it guys. 3: For a woman to not be educated: The general trend is that when a woman is educated, she tends to focus more on her career and less on the children... her being a career woman while trying to manage the family just isn't sustainable for the well being of the children. One or the other has to give... If you're a man who cant accept this, of course you're going to seek out uneducated women. Additionally, we all know what goes on in the universities. These days it is a miracle for a person to make it out of university chaste... this adds to the idea of not wanting educated women. I'd love to hear what the women have to say. I'd also appreciate if the women could tell us men where we are lacking for a change. Then we can see the other side of the picture.
As a woman, I totally agree and respect these legit demands. From my perspective on men, they lack islamic manhood on yearning to be a provider, protector and maintainer. Even if the wife chips in to help here and there, he must be outdoing her in terms of finaces and strenuous work. Because the practicing men (with no abusive psycho ikhlaq) are so few, I'm willing to contribute financially if need be and advise the sisters to work on what they can bring to the table while retaining their femininity.
@@shehzaadful Their choice to be harsh on woman?! What are they, wors than animals? Do you know our prophet (sala Allahu alahi wa salaam) would not let his daughter marry a harsh man?! Did you know the best man are the once best to their wives? What good does it serve the community if man become harsh? And, no woman on earth likes to be abused unless she feels she has no choice or is mentaly made unstable.
@@mariammoumi9622 mariam read again..am talking about unrealistic opinions am not supporting women abuse.. by preference i meant if he wants certain type of women its his choice.. u cant criminalize them for it
Why?? Everyone has their own style, we should be united not divided. I like all the brothers doing Dawah. The more of these platforms we have, the better. While I appreciate what Saajid is saying here (I immensely appreciate his kindness, understanding toward women, the other brothers I must admit r a tad harsh on women calling us names etc. part of it, it's cultural. Western (Muslim) men are more open-minded & polite this why more born-Muslim women prefer to marry them (including me). I think it's best of both worlds. That being said, I can't disregard other dawah brothers because I know for a fact that (it's better for women to get married young, education (esp beyond junior high) shouldn't be a priority for women,. Now the issues mentioned in this video about in case there's a divorce (which the rate is pretty high nowadays), in a Sharia society this wasn't a problem because women were getting married again as soon as 3edda is over!! The men were so chivalrous & masculine, they took it upon themselves if their women remained without marriage. My point is, the religion of Allah works perfectly altogether, as a whole ( not by picking & choosing what we want)
Danial Haq and Mohammad Hijab are supporting the Sunnah and do tremendous good that noone else does. 💚☝️🕋🕌 May Allah ta'ala increase them. Ameen. Polygyny is good for the ummah. Men are leaders of their families. Muslims don't bend to false idealogies. False idealogies deserved to be exposed, even ridiculed. Allahu akbar ☝️💚 Saajid Lipham has yet to debate Daniel Haq, and instead passive aggressively attempts character assasinations on Daniel... Be a man, and say what you believe to the ummah, Saajid. If you have evidence, bring it. Truth prevails over falsehood. Enough of this talking around the issue. Debate him with your evidence. Only way to end this. Bismillah.
The reality of red pill QUESTION: My wife disobeyed me. I have asked her to go get some stuff from the grocery store and make me something I wanted. And she said, "You go do the groceries, and I will make you it." Is her not wanting to go the grocery store a disobedience? ANSWER by sheik assim: Of course not! A real man doesn't ask his wife to go out to buy things! All their focus about is my wife is obedient or not but their never know what is their own responsibilities towards their wife and family . Their just like the hijabi feminist who never want to take care of any responsibility on her shoulders but will quote all the Hadeeth and verses which talks about women's rights in Islam. And umm Khalid is a educated women. this guys are will divorce their wife over little thing and it's not he's going to take care of her after divorcing her financially . Me:but brother she is not well educated enough to get a good job ?" Him :I don't care about that 😌 their nothing but selfish .Then again their will go around brainwashing other brother about importance of getting married to a virgin and not highly educated women 😑. Their even think if she's not well educated then I can abuse her as much I want bcz she depends on me financially.Seriously using words like milk or something for women! As Muslim we must respect women, shouldn't call them with such names .Hope in future those poor sister won't get married to a kafir if we pushed away our own widow and divorce sisters. Absolutely its against the sunnah . What if a red pill divorced a red pill 's daughter and he is a sick father who can't even earn money to take care of his daughter in his old age ? (Don't do drama about brother will take care of her ,Muslim community will take care of her ) At that time this people will knows the value of education (under the sharia ) . Bcz their don't even want their own daughter to get educated. Their say in Islam women obliged to have knowledge of deen but still their didnt bring a single hadheeth or verse about prohibition of worldly education. The worst part I have seen from red pill are two things that one is that child custody goes to father and I can't believe how someone can be cruel enough torcher a woman by using this law and definitely he going to enjoy his life with second wife not gonna stay with his daughter/son. also for them in Islam men are highter than women and if we ask them what makes a men higher than women in Islam? Their will "well I can beat my wife " I can't believe how someone can be cheap enough to prove that men are higher than women by saying i can beat women, real men don't hit women . Like seriously the non Muslim misinterpreting that verse but these guys are like "no no your right ,in Islam we can beat our wife " . Every single rights of husband is for them is weapon against women. Already their crying how today Muslim women are dating non muslim guy ,if their keep torched women like that situation will get worse than this . When someone use Quran and sunnah in his life nothing will go wrong ,if anything going bad in our community, its means its we who is making mistakes by abounding Quran and sunnah. One of reason why in subcontinent women can't get married bcz beggars wants dowry ! .
I looked for that question but couldn't find it. Are you sure that occurred? I never heard a man ask a question like that and I have been listening to him for quite some time
Thank you for this brother Sajid. There’s too much of the wrong type of advise being exposed online which is very damaging to both men, women and children. Detrimental to society. Marriage is an act of worship and we don’t get taught it. we get taught to read namaaz and Quran. Marriage should be taught too. It’s half our deen and I truly feel it should be in the syllabus, this would indeed help people to make changes and self improve to be a good spouse according to ways of Islam.
I believe the content brother Saajid is referring to is Br Ali Dawah’s ‘Bitter Truth Show’ where he has a panel of 4 brothers and 4 sisters and they discuss the relationship dynamics between men and women, a lot of it referencing talking points from the red pill movement. Although there is a lot of biological truths that are discussed within red pill, we have to remember that it is an ideology, just like feminism, and it’s ok to gain knowledge from it as spoken of in the Quran, but we should not follow its teachings. The only teachings we should be following is the Sunnah, ameen.
It's not an ideology, but a praxeology. Stating the reality between the genders is not ideological, it has no end goal like feminism. Red pill is observable truths, what the wielder wishes to do with the truth is up to them.
@@luluah1198 no it's not. Studying how females and males behave in a relationship has nothing to do with ideology. It simply makes men aware of female nature, which is perfectly in line with Islam, as Umar ibn Al Khattab and Imam Ghazali both spoke about female nature. Read Ihyaa 'Ulum -al-Deen.
In South Asian cultures a woman has a lot more to lose in a bad marriage, way more than her husband. And I stand by this as a man, no matter what some teenaged minded men say. It is what it is. Y'all first afford a wife and then spout the Andrew Tate rhetoric of women belong in the kitchen.
The way best is the way of balance. Seek education but get married at the same time. Girls should ideally start preparing for marriage at 17-18 looking for righteous spouses trying their best. If they seek education, free from any evil like free mixing etc this is good. But ideally the brother should be able to provide even if it's just the basic things for his wife and kids. Problem is many sisters end up having high standards and they end up staying single for longer periods and many of the brothers end up being average earners as Allah knows best what life style had they when they were young or lack of opportunities and whatever it maybe. It's part of Allah's qadr for some people Allah has restricted and limited their provisions never the less they should try their best and seek the help of Allah and both should hasten to get married and keep themself chaste and try their best to fulfill each others rights
Thank you for speaking about this issue so sensibly. Alhumdullilah for brothers like you who truly see the full picture and adhere to the middle path. May Allah give you success.
May Allah reward you for this brother. YOu really put my thoughts into words. In my country many men have 2-4 wives and many children, and many of them don´t take care of them. In my country there are many women working, one might see a woman pregnant in the last stage of her pregnancy working under the heat and carrying things for others to make money for her children, most of these women are not even widows, think about that? He is somewhere sitting and ready to use her money. After a divorce many men leave their children, forcing the women to work to maintain them. My mother was like that, and I know too many women who have had the same experience. And unfortunately when leaving the family becomes a culture and child rearing is only on the shoulders of the women, then I think is only right to get an education so that she does not need to beg on the streets to take care of her kids. My country is also in war, and many men die. There is no one taking care of them after that, she will have to think of something for herself and her children. The whole situation is so unfair. And when i try to explain that not every man is taking care of his family, then I am reminded to fear Allah. As if saying the truth is somehow wrong. I hope to be wrong but young muslim men are starting to have this victim mentality seen among teh alphabet community, teh obese community in the western world as well as western women. This thinking that they are being oppressed and need to fight against women in this case. In my country women still get married and when he leaves her she tries her best to take care of her kids and many times there is no fmily to help her with it.
Jazak’allah for this, please do make more videos on this. It’s so toxic thats it’s pushing women away from Islam and also being married. Jazak’allah for pointing out which brothers too discreetly. You explained this soo well and on point. I am 41 married Alhamdulillah to a man who would never re-marry ( he not interested at all) and I have two daughters but these talks even make me insecure
﴿لَقَد كانَ لَكُم في رَسولِ اللَّهِ أُسوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَن كانَ يَرجُو اللَّهَ وَاليَومَ الآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثيرًا﴾ [الأحزاب: ٢١] (21) There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allāh an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allāh and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allāh often. *pattern = an example to be followed
getting married is no child's play, getting married in these times is a difficult choice because there are few practicing Muslim women and men in these times.
@@nxronite9994 plus i notice that most muslim men sees the woman as a piece of meat they judge you by your appearance if not wear a hjjab and call you names but when ask if the muslim they say yes while they even dont pray i may not wear a hijab but at least i do my daily prayers also i have noticed that christian men respect you more as a woman unfortunately we are not allowed to marry a Christian so the best thing is to stay single .
It is true what you have said. Though It is recommended to get married young from the Islamic standpoint. But men and women should continue with lifelong learning and acquire skills to live happy and fulfilled lives. Education and marriage go hand in hand for both men and women.
Bark Allah fik brother Sajid. You have both knowledge and wisdom which is something rare to find in scholars these days. بارك الله في علمك وفي حكمتك وزادك من فضله
Because we’ve seen far too many women being treated horribly by their husbands. Not just Muslims, non-Muslims, too. Why put yourself in a vulnerable predicament where youre completely dependent on your husband and he could take advantage of that if he wanted to? I believe being a housewife is ideal, but absolutely every single woman needs some type of an education.
this is nonsense, do women not have family to rely on? if this is the case then we would be dead as a community, but we are not dead because that is a feminist lie. in Yemen there are millions of orphans but the streets are not over run because the family takes care of their own.
Agree about education but to think all men want to marry women young to “take” advantage of them is nonsense lmao. If it is all doom and gloom from the men’s side then why are our own brothers in Islam and non Muslims running towards the opposite extreme of redpill? The issue is much more than just black and white.
A voice of reason FINALLY! 👏👏👏❤️ Another reason we “delay” is just cause we can’t find any decent men 🤷🏽♀️. 50 women to 1 rijaal prophecy comes to mind.
So are all/most mn indecent according to you? The prophesy has nothing to do with wmn being brainwashed by SM into believing all mn are abusers/evil etc.
Waiting till 30 won’t make it easier tho. And are you saying majority of men aren’t decent? Hard to believe because to me majority of women in these times of degeneracy are far from decent. Even in some parts of the Easter world. Maybe we should ask ourselves after the degeneracy of feminism why are our brothers swarming towards redpill? What’s causing this shift in extremes? 🤔
To be honest sister i know are not delaying marriage. There are no brothers asking to marry them. Then when they pass 30 no one wants them as men want younger women. So please ask around and you will see it.
I agree! It is very difficult for many women to even find men who want to marry them. In my community majority of the Muslim men I see have girlfriends.
Where do you live? Where I live it’s normal for Muslims to marry in their late 20s/early 30s. Tbh I know plenty of sisters who married men they liked in their 30s and they have had children, etc. Keep in mind, being online clouds your judgement, it doesn’t always reflect reality. A lot of these red pill men are projecting because no woman wants to be with them.
@@uok6216 sadly even the ones abroad nowadays want younger women but when you check islamic matrimonial websites it is men from abroad that usually show interest even in my daughter who is over 30 years of age. Not out of love but to come to the west for passports/papers because think: are there no women to Marry in India/Pakistan/Bangladesh or Nigeria/Ethiopia/Somalia ??? Also the sisters rejected are usually 30 plus and so the issue of marrying a man abroad means if you are 35 years old you might have to wait for that man to join you in your own country an average time period of 4-10 years. Do you have that energy to wait for a man that long? Then when they come they get lost with the culture shock for a while no matter how educated or uneducated they are. Settling in a new country is not easy. For men it is easier because when you have a good job and a good bank account it meabs he can travel more often to see his wife and put her in a good home near her family so he can visit the wife and any new children alone without needing a mahram unlike a muslim woman. For a woman it is hard to travel without a mahram then if she has a child she becomes a single mother and unlike men who marey women in other countries she is more likely to be the one sending some money to the man who lives in Africa/Asia/middle East. Many people i know who married men in other countries their marriage sadly ended in divorce as the women couldn't handle living alone with young children without a husband who could support them financially, physically and emotionally. This is when there is another difference between women and men even mareying from abroad as they can travel easily, can will financially support his wife abroad who has a family support in her country of origin and also his wife's status will be higher as she will have a home and at times maids etc. So until i heard of the red pill disease that has spread in the muslim male population i did not understand why so many young 30+ women could not find a good man to marry. Muslims were already a minority and many muslim men being fussy and rejecting so many young muslim sisters because they feel that after girls pass 22 years old they are expired goods makes you wonder if they expect these sisters to marry Christian and hindu men. The injustice Muslim men are doing is unbelievable. They even hide behind their wives for not practicing poligyny. Of course women are also selfish but men in the past did it so why cant they not practice it fairly...and when they do it is for theor own pleasure not to please Allah..i considered polygyny for my daughter but in the marriage websites married men looking for a 2nd wife are all looking for women under 25 even when is a man in his 40s. Ajib. 25 years ago 30+years old men used to marry divorced or single or widowed sisters. I thought Muslim men stopped marrying young muslim sisters in their 30s because because some are busy with zina or because many men in their 30s in our Somali community went to jail for gang related issues. Many men over 30 who are same age as my daughters also have addictions etc. So i assumed with a minority group within a muslim minority group we needed to check for other nationalities closer to our western Islamic culture such as muslims from ethiopia/eritrea and reverts. Nothing. In the Islamic website we found strange men asking if she was vergin and how come she was not married in her 30s and if she played the field before. We reported those guys and they got kicked out but over 2 years ago we did not get what it was. Now we know it! It is a new culture called red pill ideology where deaming women and seeing them.as expired milk is normalised. Please se Ali Dawah covering how Muslim men are shocked of a brother marrying a divorced sister with 5 kids. I really find brother Sajid and brother Ali covering these topics. J.kheyran Hasbiayallhu wa ni3mal wakil.
Love at first sight. Sorry is that the correct term? I married my wife even though she is older than me. We support each other financially. She never raised her voice. I never insulted her or her family or beat her. If i am really angry i will leave the house for a few hours to calm down. Yes we disagreed but never let it linger more than 3 days. We have 3 grown up children. We have been married for 44 years. Every day i asked Allah swt to grant us happines in this world and the next world, to guide us to the right path.
@@Therebelliousprince001 what does that have to do with anything???? If it was about feminism and LGBT I wouldn't have been displeased just bored. Cause everyone is so ready to talk about feminism and what problems that movement caused to women and especially poor men🥺. But there's literally no Muslim personality who talks about the other side, and what problems women could face if they don't have an education , or the harm that it does saying we age like milk. As if men become more handsome when they age😂😂😭
Asalamualykum brothers and sisters. So this marriage type of topic is talked about a lot, and I’m not sure who’s right or wrong. From a young boy, I’ve always been excited to get married, even before I began practicing Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) said that if I marry, I’ll complete half my religion. So allhumdullilah, I’m still excited and willing to get married. However, with everyone talking about this topic and who is the ideal wife, I am confused. I would like to share my thoughts on marrying a person. Correct me if I’m wrong. I don’t mind marrying someone younger or older than me, because the Prophet (PBUH) married Aisha and Khadijah (ra). I don’t mind marrying an educated woman, since seeking knowledge is obligatory for both men and women, said the Prophet. However, since working in the workplace is only an obligation for the man, if I do marry a woman who is working, I would not allow her to work. This is due to several reasons: 1. It’s haram for a woman to work in a place where you have to interact with the opposite sex. 2. I do not want my wife to stress because of work. Allah blessed man with the capability to handle the work stress better than women. 3. I want my wife to take care of the house, making it a happy home, raising the kids. I want my wife to prioritize taking care of me. I want her to feel comfortable and I want her to learn more about Islam in the comfort of our home, and to teach our children - it’d be great that when I come home from work, she can educate me on what she’s learnt. Of course, she won’t have to do everything; I hope inshallah to have a wonderful relationship with my kids. I would also do my house chores since the Prophet did so, and help around the house when I can. I think what my brothers and sisters mean about the woman ‘not being educated’, they mean that they didn’t go to college in order to search for a job, which will delay their marriage and possibly inspire feministic values. I would love to have a wise woman as my wife, who would comfort and advice me and encourage me to do righteous acts of worship - someone who would pester me to wake up early to head to Fajr mosque, haha! I also wouldn’t mind having a dumb wife, because then I can share all sorts of knowledge with her, insyaAllah I’ll be rewarded for that and insyaAllah she’ll appreciate me more and love me more. I think a lot of women should avoid to work if they are able to. Allah says that men are the caretakers of women (4:34). A woman should try to marry as soon as she is able. If a woman is not married, she is under the care of her father. If not the father, the uncle. If not, the brother and then whoever is a male relative - I could be wrong about this however. If a woman must work, then she should do so in a halal environment, where she won’t have to mingle with the opposite sex. In the case my wife and I divorce, insyaAllah she’ll have her male relative take care of her. In the case I die early, I hope insyaAllah I made arrangements for my brother or a trusted friend to marry her, with her permission. I wouldn’t mind marrying a widow, since the Prophet married widows, and I wouldn’t mind if I married a woman who is not a virgin. The only concern I have to marrying a virgin is that, since she has experience, I won’t be able to satisfy her, which is a grounds for a divorce. The hopeful part of me is that she’ll be able to teach me and I’ll have more fun with her than a woman with no experience, but… yeah, insyaAllah. I’d prefer marrying someone beautiful, but I don’t mind if she’s ugly. I want to marry a woman who would help me stay on the Straight Path and who would obey what I say. Because anyway, inshallah if we get to Paradise and we are reunited, she’ll be extremely beautiful, so I don’t mind playing the long game. But despite this, I want to marry someone who cares about looking good for my eyes only, someone healthy and not fat. And if a woman is beautiful on the inside, I swear to God, it covers up her ugliness. In terms of personality, as long as she is adopts the characteristics of a good Muslim woman, one who practices the faith and encourages me to do as well, and is a woman who obeys my commands (as long as they are not sinful or overbearing), I am content. Anything extra i.e her likes and dislikes, if she’s quiet or speaks a lot, I’m not too fussy and I can adapt to her, insyaAllah letting her qualities flourish. I would like my wife to be comfortable with me, not afraid to be how she’s truly like, as long as it’s not sinful. Preferably, I would love to have a wife who doesn’t mind me being close to her majority of the time, one who enjoys giving me lots of attention. If she’s clingy towards me, great, I can die a happy man. I don’t want a woman who is too independent, I wish for her to depend on me and for me to depend on her, insyaAllah. Jazakallhu khayran for reading and for any corrections you made. And please pray for me to get married to a righteous spouse soon, and to make me a righteous spouse, ameen. I pray for all of us that Allah makes it easy for us to marry righteous spouses, so that we are happy and increased in worship towards Him and create a stronger Ummah, ameen. Allah knows best.
@@anisamalow6186 Ameen. Jazakillha khayran, sis, for your kind words, prayers and approval of my statements. Yeah, allhumdullilah, while I do consume Western media/propaganda, I’m not so affected by their ideologies as opposed to a Muslim who does live in the West; they are the more praiseworthy ones since they have to struggle through those ideas to remain firm on the Straight Path. Even though it may seem difficult, if a Muslim places all their trust in Allah and follow what He has ordained despite not knowing the wisdom behind it, that person won’t regret it; they’ll be much happier and insyaAllah they’ll learn the wisdom by experiencing it. Allah knows best and He is in control of everything - He won’t let you down. Therefore, I should try my best to follow whatever Allah has said. I forgot to mention, but I desire a relationship with my wife in which we are each other’s best friend, meaning that any thought or concern we have on anything, good or bad, we would be the first person to share it with; we’d be extremely comfortable with one another. Ultimately, I want a wife who will help me in my deen, me to hers, and get reunited in Jannatul Firdaus, insyaAllah. I pray that I’ll be in a relationship that is similar to the Prophet (PBUH) and Aisha (ra)’s; their romance and interactions with each other is sooooo cute, I got diabetes from how sweet it was! However, if Allah has decreed for me to die without getting married, I am content with His Plan. Because if I do my best worshipping Him in this life (and I pray that we all die honorable deaths in worship to our Lord, ameen), insyaAllah I’ll get rewarded with the hot babes of Paradise. It’s always a win-win either way for a Muslim ;) Allah knows best.
A very educated take on this extremely delicate issue, may Allaah reward you. “On the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Do not be envious of one another; do not artificially raise prices against one another; do not hate one another; do not turn one’s back on each other; and do not undercut one another in business transactions. And be, [O] servants of Allah, bretheren. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him. He does not fail him [when he needs him]. He does not lie to him. And he does not show contempt for him. Piety is here” - and he pointed to his chest three times. “It is enough of evil for a person to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All of a Muslim is inviolable to another Muslim: his blood, his wealth and his honor.” (Recorded in Muslim)
I think the topic discussed in this video has completely different problems in different countries, even though we are all Muslims. So, I noticed a lot of comments from people from Eastern countries who complain that it is difficult for women to find a decent man. In the West, at the moment, the situation is completely different - girls, even if they are practicing Muslims, do not want to start a family and are not interested in marriage, they like to spend time doing creativity or hanging out with friends. Western women get too much attention from men and as a result they stop seeing value in men. I am 26 years old, have an above average income and am a practicing Muslim, but still single, as the girls I tried to communicate with rejected me on the grounds that I want to have descendants, and they are too young and do not want to at such a young age to spend time with children (and these were Muslim women over 23 years old who wear a hijab and observe five daily prayers!). The liberal view of the world has penetrated even into the Islamic environment, and this is very sad, because it only leads to degradation and extinction.
I don't know why a marriage need to divorce after being marry or be prepared by being divorced.. that thing is the most hated by Allah SWT. Marriage is not only about fulfilling your lust or desire,marriage is about to be being completed to each other whoever their marriage is base under the foundation of lust or desire,well.. you reap what you sow,that is only what you got
In my humble opinion, I believe that the Quran and hadith compiled with the sunnah should be more than sufficient to help navigate life especially this marital and relationship discourse hence the idea that we do not need feminism or the red pill movement. Likewise a lot of these movement forget that Islam has upheld the dignity and honour of women which is now being stripped with many of the humiliating and derogatory statements made by both ends of the spectrum. I mean would the Prophet s.a.w really compare women to milk. We are forgetting that the Prophet encourages men to marry those women who have been widowed or divorced as one example. Allah knows best. There isn't one picture that fits all marriages. Some marriages work if the woman observes more traditional roles of being a housewife whilst the man is the breadwinner and some marriages work if the woman upholds more financial roles alongside the husband thus sharing the household duties amongst them. Marriage is a partnership and you should commit to your roles that Allah has ordained and make compromises if necessary.
Masha Allah this man has knowledge. And this a Revert talking to us born Muslims of 100s of years of Islamic ancestry. We need to go back to Quran and Sunnah and not follow these youtube Muslim celebs.
May Allah bless you brother Saajid. I agree with a lot of your points. However I disagree with some one or two. First, I don’t think any sister should go into marriage with divorce in mind. Secondly, nothing is wrong with preferring a young woman who’s never married. Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) said that Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to me, ‘Jabir, have you got married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He asked, ‘A virgin or one previously married?’ I said, ‘One who was previously married.’ He said, ‘Why didn’t you marry a young girl who you could play around with and who could play around with you?’ I said, ‘I actually have a number of [young] sisters so I wanted to marry a woman who could look after them, comb their hair, and run their affairs.’ (Muslim) Finally, it would have been nice to explain how to obtain a career whilst being open to marriage in their prime. Also, what sort of education set up. You might not realised it. It sounds like sisters reason for delaying marriage is justified- have a career first irrespective of your age. Prepare for divorce. Like I said, I agree with most of your comments but I just disagree with some. Also, Redpill brothers need education. May Allah bless you and reward you for your efforts and rectify us all.
Do you have children brother? I have 4 and 3 are female. If you do have children as a parent it is wise to think “what will my daughter do if she needs to divorce for a valid reason . I may be dead so unable to support her financially? So women are wise to think about this
Thinking about the worst case scenario is not the same as entering the marriage with second thoughts. The former is self-protection in preparation of possible uncertainty, while the latter is closer to mistrust.
Please help my sister wants to get married but men's family demand lots of money in gold as a 'gift' and we have no options. Nobody wants to marry us because we don't have as much.
how come the Muslim community is following our Prophet pbuh on every matter but what marriage expectations are concerned, they do not follow our Prophet`s footsteps at all? they are following their culture and their own desires such as marrying women who are untouched and young. Who did our Prophet Mohammad have as his first wife? And how many Muslim men are there, that would do the same? I haven`t found an answer to that as of yet. As long as there are red pill muslim men out there, i want to delay my marriage, further support myself in my career and concentrate to being a better Muslim woman. Allah swt did not create us to get married but He created us to worship Him. Not everything in life has to have marriage as the endgoal.
Good. Keep delaying marriage until death. You'll save the life of a brother of mine Wmn like you don't deserve a loving, rightous husband. So while our traditional, rightous sisters are married and under the love,care and protection of a mn. You'll can seethe and complain about mn in your singlehood.
Also, consider the following hadith. Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah: When I got married, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?' حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَارِبٌ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ جَابِرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، رضى الله عنهما يَقُولُ تَزَوَّجْتُ فَقَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " مَا تَزَوَّجْتَ ". فَقُلْتُ تَزَوَّجْتُ ثَيِّبًا. فَقَالَ " مَا لَكَ وَلِلْعَذَارَى وَلِعَابِهَا ". فَذَكَرْتُ ذَلِكَ لِعَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ فَقَالَ عَمْرٌو سَمِعْتُ جَابِرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ يَقُولُ قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " هَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ". Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5080In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith 18USC-MSA web (English) reference : Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 17
Thank You!!! This is ABSOLUTELY true! The latest "discussion" about marriage by Ali Dawah has definitely scared me and my friends of marriage rather than encouraged any of us to go on with it. So, definitely the negative effects of that so called red pill movement have reached us.
@@IYasmineI The video was educational. I want to learn more about the Islamic marriage system but because I don’t base my decision to do something on emotions, neither this video, nor Ali’s or other 💊 nor Fem videos really affect my decision. The most they do is open my eyes.
@@alphauno6614 However, for the newbies or the on lookers, a video like Ali's could do a lot damage spreading such none-Islamic views as Islamic. On the other hand, this one gives the right perspective from which Islam is looking at marriage. Thus, I prefer videos like this one. It's not based on emotions, but on which one is a real application to the Islamic guidelines.
@@IYasmineI Ali’s Bitter Truth videos were very 💊, they were also unsure of what Islam says on certain topics and on top of that they were very confrontational pitting men against women. Having said that, they did kick start a discussion out of which this video was born so it ended up being somewhat beneficial. I wouldn’t necessarily call this video having the “right” perspective but rather I’d say it’s more balanced. Telling women they need to get educated just in case of divorce is exactly the “empowered and independent” talking points which we have seen via the divorce statistics, how they’ve accelerated divorce and family breakdown rather than improved it. Telling Muslim women to be this way won’t help anyone. For me, I watch across the spectrum so I can learn all perspectives. This video was nice but it is filled with opinions just like the other videos so I will take it with a grain of salt. May Allah guide us all to the righteous path.
Tbh saying woman age like milk is just disgusting i dont have any issues with a working but its a hard thing to marry a sister who work all time like if we are both tired all the time who is gonna take care of the house/children
![MODERN MUSLIM WOMEN [IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO YOU ALL]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hSF0x_n00g/mqdefault.jpg)
Being a Somali woman surrounded by entrepreneurial Somali women taught me that seeking financial independence is not anti-Islam. So many of the women in Somali families were abandoned with 10+ kids with no education or financial support. Two of my great grandmothers were forced to leave their kids after asking for divorce. We watched our mothers and grandmothers struggle to survive with no resources - what a shame it would be to waste our education and endless opportunities for a man
Allah humma baarik. You speak the truth sis. In my Pakistani community, it´s also very prevalent with fathers who have abandoned their family. In Pakistan, you´ll even see some good fathers making sure that their daughters get educated, because they know what type of a patriarchal society they live in. Daughters´ married status constantly hang by a thread, and women can need to support themselves and their children any second. It´s a meat market for the men, and they can get a new bride at the drop of a hat due to poverty and families desperate to get rid of their daughters (something even overseas Pakistani families often abuse, to import a young bride, then use her as a slave that nobody ever checks on (because her family is so far away), and the in-laws completely isolate her in the West. The Red Pill men often speaking of not wanting their wife to have family nearby, not having a phone, not having friends, reminds me of those families. They want complete control and to essentially OWN a woman and keep her captive. Such people are very calculated and plan to victimise someone vulnerable.
In our culture, women are seen as expendable, astaghfarullah. A young bride is chosen for how white she is, her height, her youth, how miserly her parents are (so that the in-laws can keep demanding dowry in exchange for not divorcing their daughter) and sometimes even her job (the in-laws take all her salary and any jewellery gifted to her by her mother). Husbands will even tell new brides "Be happy that I chose you, cause seeing your parents and background...nobody would marry such poor people".
A wife can get divorced for ANYTHING, as well as her children (especially sons) forcibly taken from her. A very common reason for just replacing a bride is if she doesn´t give birth to sons, if her parents refuse to gift her a car or any other demand of the in-laws, the mother-in-law simply deciding not to like her anymore, etc. This whole "living in fear"-scenario has made women fear other women, and become very very suspicious and cynical about life. It´s a "Dog eat dog"-culture, where everyone take whatever they can get, with any trick they can pull. There are also stories of brides coming into marriages fully combative, because they have a socially built up distrust of in-laws even before getting to know them. So all in all....our whole society is ruined because of the prevalent mindsets and patriarchy.
I have friends that got married straight after school, not even applying for university. I´m sad to say...today, those sisters are on their 3rd husband and abandoned with several kids. A highly risky situation for both kids and mother. When they don´t have an education to fall back on, they frenetically look for a new husband, to sustain them. And some of the Muslim husbands today are addicted to filth online, are cheaters (justifying Zinaa due to a mindset that it´s okay for men), chatting secretly with several women on marriage sites or downright having secret wives (some men today are encouraging each other and justifying it with dubious methods, when actually...Nikah is ordered to be announced in the wider community). It´s a rough rough world out there!
While men´s "problem" may be fathers that don´t give their daughter´s hand in marriage because they don´t see they guy being able to sustain her the way the father does, women´s problems are much bigger. You may contract an STD as a pious woman, simply because the husband is cheating. You may risk marrying a predator, as a single mother with kids. You may become a secret wife, without your consent, to a husband that routinely uses polygyny as an excuse for "s...ual addiction" or lack of "s...ual discipline". The "worst" case scenario for men on the other hand, are losing money in alimony or having Sihr done by competing wives. Money comes and goes...but when a mother´s child is abused, her reputation in the community reduced to "divorcée", her contracting an STD etc...her and all the children´s lives can get ruined! Yet so many men out there keep worrying about "gold" that they don´t even have, or being hindered for polygyny (which many advocate for feverishly, knowing fully well the tight criterion under which Allah both makes an exception AND will take full account of on Judgement Day).
It´s just one big paradox, many of the things said to women. We are trash-talked if we become single mothers. Yet, we are told that we´re nothing if we don´t marry and become mothers. We are shouted at to wear hijaab, yet we are sidelined by the only men we can marry, in favour for well-experienced non-Muslim women simply due to them being white and fulfilling the fetish-ideals of MANY Muslim men (who, again, get these ideals from....well, questionable websites). We are told that "All women are gold-diggers", but when we qualify ourselves to make our own money...then we are accused of being "Feminists" and not letting men be leaders. Sigh. What I sense is a deep-seated hatred yet feverish need to COLLECT women (as they seem to value themselves according to how many women they have "conquered"). Very very strange behaviour. They should not be mad that Muslim women are qualifying themselves, because their options are a LOT wider than ours. Both religiously and culturally. Muslim men can go and marry Ahl-ul-Kitaab, whereas our choices are miniscule in these times. If in that case, some sisters today decide to instead focus on elderly parents, a pious but self-sufficient life in their own home, being an aunty to nieces and nephews, building a career that´s based on gathering ajjr, etc....why is that so abrasive? As many of us are also told "You are outdated after 25", they should be happy that we aren´t marrying? We´re not a load on anyone, and we are alhamdulillah fully pious as long as we live, inn shaa Allah.
that is fine as long as the sisters keep the barrier of what is Halal. I have delt with many sisters like this and they struggle alot especially because there is not islamic supports in the west and even sadly in many muslim countries
Unfortunately Somali women be choosing the thugs or super tall Somali men who don’t have any reason to work or fulfill there obligations. This is the fault of the women .
As a Muslim sister who was a bread winner after my father passed away, I delayed marriage because I needed to work. Which is something nobody talks about. I am 29 and still single, but Allah is my protector. I once listened to the red pill talk show and was shocked with some of the things the brothers were talking about. May Allah SWT protect us. Subhanallah
May Allah give you great husband ammen
That’s tough sister. Many men are fixated on the wrong certain sisters do by delaying their marriages that it is overlooked that there are others who had genuine reasons to do delay. May Allah help everyone
I've seen brothers also deal with extremes sis, a boy lost his father, his mom went to work and was very feminist and brother became an atheist and they used to try to secularize and lie to him and didn't prepare him for all the znuh he would see in the western schools, its still affects his esteems today.
@@9-11amossadvanbomberplotai9 so whose fault is this exactly? Because I dont blame the mother here
What about women who is without any reason delaying marriage?
The issue with some of these red pill akhis they are very quick to dismis genuine issues or concerns that sisters have. And any brother who has been consistent against feminism but also is aware of grass root issues of sisters, so goes against red pill talking points are labelled a simp. They behave as if all sisters are just available for marriage and don't have family that are behind them pushing them to get educated/work. We have sisters who come from homes that their fathers/brothers do not care to be Qawwam over them. Or we have sisters who have fathers/brothers who support them to seek education/work. Our communities are not the same. They forget many come from 1st/2nd generation immigrants who come with cultural baggage. Some have seen their mothers/aunties physically abused/made maids to in laws etc or come from homes who highly value education since their parents didn't have the privilege. These issues are not all rooted in feminism, but the discord makes it seem so. Quite unfortunate.
Thank you for this comment brother barakAllahu feek
@@theBakinNoob I'm a sister, but wa feeki
@@satzone4241 ah sorry lol and ameen
@@theBakinNoob it's fine 🙂
You hit the nail on the head, the 1st 2nd generation folk are dealing with a lot of generalitional trauma. The ones now are getting married younger, some are in a rush to live life. Others because their parents gave them that nurturing and guidance... a lot of conflation between culture and deen occurred within communities particularly south asian ones, and this had a very negative impact on women who saw that they were expected to be a maid n give up their families, many would actually commend brothers for their wish to care for their parents however this was abused it wasnt them it was their wives that did it at her expense... without a thought to the fact that she also has a mother ...n so now most have gone in the opposite direction, no where near in laws.. some brothers only have their mothers elderly n frail are in a predicament..
Also a lot of issues with the way the 2nd 3rd generation raised, cultural disparity n unequally males ans females, without the protective mahrams.. so women had to step up a lot and.
Honestly Sajid, you are a kind Muslim soul. May Allah bless you because we really need people like you speaking up.
I’ve seen some of the content that I think you’re referring to and it was just shattering my faith in Muslim men but watching your video is a reminder that there are still Muslim men out there who understand that women are not these evil little demons who don’t want to get married and will leave you if you let them read a book.
We would never have assumed that if you'll weren't acting in that way though?
We naturally think well of the opposite gndr.
@@Therebelliousprince001 yeah byeee😂
@@Therebelliousprince001 nah bc it is not ALL of us who are like that. If that is what you mean by 'you'll'.
Lol 😂 facts just like I said myself I watched lots of rp continent (for entertainment)and noticed that to it seems to be a made up narrative and ideology based on a false premise of women with no objective explanation that comes from hurt and insecure men putting Ina persona to be strong noticed they still bitch and complain about women even tho they have lots of women and don't get married anytime soon and live a promiscuous life and struggle with love they probably won't find a "high quality" women any time soon all though there is some things in to that is valid
@@Therebelliousprince001 acting in what way u don't even know the sister get rid of that false narrative rp out in ur head
Truthfully, even as a young woman, all this red pill movement stuff makes me feel super insecure and lost. I understand there is good aspects of the red pill movement, like promptings men’s health and respecting men and that’s very good. However, a lot of men really just hate women.
Same it has also been taking a toll on me, thinking I was getting older and nobody is going to want to marry me, I know it’s wrong to think like that but when I watch those videos I get so unbelievably sad.
@@theBakinNoob People go to these other ways of thinking and end up stabbing their own feet. The men with this 💊 and the women with “let’s get educated so we can be boss babes and marry when we’re 35 because we don’t trust men”. If we all turned to the one who LITERALLY made us and see what he has to say about the best way of doing something, we would surely succeed. I ask Allah to make us all righteous.
Same, sister. Youth is something Allah gave us and it will leave us eventually. So I could not marry someone, who would think I "expired". I have nothing against their view on being a virgin though, if they are virgins themselves.
i think it comes down to parents,if a boy is awkward to girls it can be due to his mom abusing him because she is a feminists which is man hating , esp. if she is single mom or even widow...
they don't hate women. they just want chaste wives that obey them
This narrative was so needed!
Lets be honest - a talk show with Muslim men and women discussing such topics like virginity, some who have their awrah showing and not blurred, is questionable at the very least.
@@user-ue4fh5mv9s Why does such a discussion have to be had between men and women? Why is that format required to learn? It will get more clicks, sure, doesn't mean its right.
@@user-ue4fh5mv9s are you seriously learning anything from them?
Listen to actual scholars.
Their students are going through all the effort to record the audio/video footage, transcript it, even translating it into different languages, and uploading it onto administrated official RUclips channels or Websites.
All of this to make knowledge accessible for laymen, but you go listen to other laymen because they do a bit of lifting or talk about Redpill on RUclips?
Sheikh Salih Al Fawzan has a RUclips, Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen, Sheikh Ibn Baz has an official Website, Sheikh Uthman Al Khamees, and many many more of the trustworthy scholars.
Anybody who says "who should we listen to or learn from instead" is just announcing to the world how little he cares about his religion and getting accurate answers.
You're being entertained by RUclipsrs, you're not learning anything.
Assalamualaikum, I hope Allah accepts the efforts you make and protect people like you. I have benefited from your contents in general. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this video. I've seen many red pill videos and it honestly made me lose faith in Muslim men because it made me feel that they didn't view women as people but rather as a tool that they get to use as they wish. I'm glad that there are still Muslim men who can think for themselves and who will appreciate a women regardless of her age and dating history.
I was reading your comment and felt a certain way but then your last 2 words gave me whiplash. May Allah guide everyone to the righteous path.
@@alphauno6614 maybe she wasn't a muslima before. Maybe she repented. That makes her clean in front of Allah.
@@cimsonrose6844 Perhaps but without the extra information, it sounds like she’s upset guys don’t overlook her dating history which is what I reacted to
Thank you for articulating my thoughts so well. People are focusing too much on what everyone else is doing wrong, to the point of it being disrespectful and a complete waste of time. We need to focus on improving ourselves and our relationship with Allah first and foremost, because that will fix everything else inshallah.
Now even muslim talk like them, I have seen a comment where they were saying its not us that dont want to get married its women .
They falling into the blaming game and partake in a gender war like them too .
Where there is clearly women struggling alone with kids or older single women
But no they want the young .
And I have seen that alot in america where muslim men talk more about polygamy ( for lustful reason) but cant even wake up for fajr and dont even know the base of tawhid
@@noneofyourbuizness This war will end with muslim mn and wmn resorting to the same gndr to fulfill their desires because of their fear/resentment towards the opposite gndr. This is the goal of the enemies of Islam and it will entail the destruction of this ummah.
Prophet ﷺ said, “Once my nation considers five things permissible, then destruction will befall them: when cursing one another appears, wine is drunk, silk is worn [by men], musical instruments are played, and men suffice themselves with men and women suffice themselves with women.”
Collected by al-Bayhaqi in Shu‘ab al-Eemān (5055) who deemed it strong; also deemed ḥasan by al-Albāni in Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb (2054, 2386).
Yes 💯. I'm glad I've knew Islam first before I knew Muslims. Because I would've been a murtadd if I know muslims first.
@@noneofyourbuizness i saw more than one time this kind of comment
@@riaaulia8323 Oh gosh, me too.
I have said it before and I will say it again. Watching your content is soothing. In a world where a few Muslim brothers are becoming increasingly jarring and pronounced in their ruthless unkindness - you offer hope, grace, balance and sanity.
Thank you for that. ✨ May Allah bless you abundantly. ✨
@Gicybb Jcybh :D As do I admire your ability to stalk me across my comment vine, and take the time to carefully critique each. Flattered really.
@@sheebadsulthana Yes all Muslim men are bad and all the divorce that happened it's because of men.
I absolutely agree with the first point about being untouched before marriage. The same thing goed for a man. Both man and woman should not have intercourse outside of marriage. End of story
I just can't understand that people act so lightly towards Zina
He's talking about previously married or widowed women that are now thrown aside because they are not UNTOUCHED
He was talking about women who are widowed or divorced, not women who committed zina.
@@falmatadawano1599if we start marrying widow and divorcee then who will marry single women?
@@thelemurofmadagascar9183women supporting marriages with already divorced women and call it sunnah but when we talk about more then one marriage they start hating men
I believe widowed,divorced or ra**ed woman should not be put in the same category as Zina.
In my situation, I was getting a good proposal from my family My dad's sister knew that I wanted to marry someone who would actually practice Islam and not pretend. she knew that and took advantage of that and convince my dad that her son was a good Islamic person she forced my dad to yes and he did, my marriage only lasted for 2 months and the reason I divorced him was that her mother told me that his son is sick and it will take 10 years for him to get better I was like ok but I was not ok cause they should've been honest but then she was like Oh and my son also drinks alcohol and I told her that it's haram, my ex-husband, replied that it's just a juice also there was one more reason which I don't want to say out loud it was against Islam. Now it's been 2 years, and not even my family members are approaching me cause I was married once since I wear a complete hijab and burqa it's not easy to get approached by other people, and in Pakistan female Dads can't approach men for marriage that's a big issue. So there are female Muslims who want to marry men who actually practice Islam.
May Allah make it easy for you sister. All I can say is to stay patient and keep trying the halal ways of getting married. Allah says in surah Ar Rahman "Is there any reward for goodness other than goodness?".
Don't worry, sister. Keep looking.
Inshaallah, you will receive a righteous husband that fears Allah! 🤲🏻
For your father, I don't intend to judge, but it seems like a matter of pride. Approaching good men for daughters is like the basic thing that fathers have to do. Obviously we women can't and even if we did approach with good intentions to marry, we'll be quickly labelled as desperate and flirt. So the only way is for a third party to look a man for you. You should have a serious talk with your father and not let him just sit around thinking that somebody will come to ask your hand for marriage. We should go out in search of rizq even if it's prewritten and marriage is also a rizq so he should put in effort for you
@@shaziyaalfalasi5271 We need to make it acceptable for sisters to propose to brothers like how our mother Khadija proposed to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. This would solve a large part of the marriage crisis. Especially since brothers are too terrified to approach wmn now a days and sisters have like a 1% rejection rate so this would be very ideal.
But this has been made taboo for a reason by f'e'm'i'n'is'ts etc. And Isn't it a good sign to be desperate for marriage in these hypersexual times of fitna?
May Allah grant us hikmah...
@@Therebelliousprince001 i get it. And I fully support that as a Muslim woman myself. To be able to choose whom we like the character of is phenomenal and requires a lot of guts. But I'm saying what the general phenomenon is. It is true that not everybody has the same understanding in men, so when approached with right intentions, they are soon to assume the wrong of women. Not all. But most that don't have proper Islamic knowledge, they do think that way. Besides Khadija r.a also involved a third party for the proposal instead of directly proposing him. So it makes sense to involve a trusted person to speak on a woman's behalf.
A lot of women are terrified of marriage now unfortunately. The rhetoric is very scary. It’s led to a lot of women turning to feminism even if it’s not something most women want. Most women want to be provided for and stay home. But the scarier alternative is putting your life in the wrong hands of a man who is not fit for it. The result is women get older and just work and provide for themselves. I wish Muslim men would heal themselves and their misguided anger that has them manipulating and abusing women.
I’d also like to add that a woman getting a divorce and maybe being a single mom is the lucky result of a bad marriage. A lot of Muslim women are getting physically and emotionally abused and some lose their life entirely as a result of marrying the wrong man. It’s not the same risk as it is for a man who marries the wrong woman.
@@howiegillian8968 Your view is horrible. What’s the point of these posts other than scaring people. I can say the same about crazy women.
@@alphauno6614come back when you can afford a wife sus
@@howiegillian8968sis plz explain what missguided anger
Exactly! Im grateful for brother saajid for making this video. Sadly many of us use religion to "control" woman, with the red pill also its almost like they want woman to dumb themselves down to go down to their level while they're not working on themselves. It is scary. And a woman who understand her rights in islam, and wants to do thing the right way for her own security, is labeled feminist. Most of these woman are good woman even, wants to get married and fulfils her role as a wife, but what wrong with preparing for unfortunate situations like divorce Im surprised seeing videos with tittles like " Is education important for woman?" is that even a topic of discussion?! and many man also are seeing polygamy like a free pass, to justify their cheating ways and lack of mental maturity to be committed in a marriage. it's scary. beraking many marriages and still thinking abt polygamy, if anything it proves that ur not fit for a marriage. may allah forgive us all, and may we all see everything in this world as a test that you will be accountable for, Allah does not favour one gender over another, we all have our roles to play, and don't take advantage of what’s allowed like you're not going to be accountable for it. And stop with " man age like wine and woman age like milk" eventually we all deteriorate and die, if anything that sentence comes from deep insecurities. How long do u have average 70 years? and then what? be humble man need to look at woman as someone you have to care for and protect, with that she will obey you naturally, not controlling her circumstances so that she cant leave u.
Finally someone explained it beautifully ♥️♥️
ALLĀH.capitalize the letters
أمين يا الله
But men do control women through religion. Islam literally is patriarchal men are quawam over men by what Allah has decreed. Also yes the aging part is factually correct if you look at women loosing fertility at the end of their 20th's and it going down even faster in ther 30th's.
“With that she will obey you naturally, not controlling her circumstances so that she can’t leave you.” This. 🤍👏
Great points here,
What really gets to me with these brothers (even tho I'll keep supporting Dawah channels as long as I can) is when they try to paint women as stupid who follow feminists blindly!!! When most women r pursuing higher education because they're PRESSURED to do so (starts from the parents, then when u want to get married, FIRST thing these greedy men ask for "what do you do for a living""?!!! But if a woman does the same, she'll be perceived as a "golddigger" ...
Salam. I am a 28 years old muslim woman unmarried not because I chose to but because I haven’t received any good proposals nor was I approached by brothers. I live in Canada and my parents don’t know many muslims here. My dream was to get married early, i’m not even feminist or career oriented, I don’t care, I just wanted to find a good muslim husband with whom I get along and that I like but unfortunately didn’t happen yet, I don’t think it’s my fault, it’s out of my control. I’ve tried everything even muslim dating apps but nothing worked. It upsets me when brothers say that the reason marriage is delayed is cuz i’m a feminist, which i’m not.
@@shams8256
I know exactly what you're talking about (even tho I was married once before!) Actually living in the West can be a challenge for us (Muslims r a minority here, plus when we go vacation back home, all those potential grooms see us as "immigration papers""!)
We'll, some UTube Dawah channels seem to think women have unrealistic standards but men do too (they want her young, a virgin, educated, working, doting doing house chores, beautiful, smart, obedient/accepts all his b.s etc. & the list goes on).
At least, with us women, it's not our fault, we are hypergamous by nature (makes sense, we like to marry on our level & up. Even in the animal kingdom, look how during the mating season the males go out of their way to impress the females, to 'subdue' her, he gotta appeal to her)
Don't worry sis, this issue is worldwide & all women are saying the same thing. They know what's up & what women want.
Muslim female from Pakistan. Thank you so much for this video, nobody talks about this, please explore these areas more in your videos.
Was just gonna say sister, with the horrible stories we've heard within marriages in our country within last 2-3 years, would you say that many sisters you know are going along with what the brother said at 2:48? I've seen a lot of sisters on Pakistani social media encouraging other sisters now to be financially independent, just because if they happen to get an abusive husband, they can leave him and take care of themselves...
U rtaking things out of the context! Its a two way road, problem is that women asking for a guy with deen should have deen themselves as well! Unfortunately both are responsible for distruction and you cant blame men only.
@@maazmustafa2322 Pakistan atleast the urban side has been drenched in f'em'i'n'ism, l'g'b't it seems...
@@Therebelliousprince001 it is disgusting to be honest how women in pakistan are worse then muslims in the west
@@publicpm8809 You got it wrong aswell brother. Women in general who talk about want a guy with deen either
1) don't have education of deen or even basic fundamentals of a muslimah
2) They want a man with a predefined characteristics of an attractive generic male and THEN they want such a man to have Deen.
I watched the videos that you talked about and felt really worried about their comments towards women. Khadija (RA) was married twice before she married Muhammed (SAW). There must be some wisdom behind that . The brothers making this comments about divorced/older unmarried women may have daughters one day too. I wonder how would they feel if people said the same thing about their daughters?
All of us need to think about the way we speak.
Jazakallakahair for making this video.
ﷺ
Are you blind to your sisters vids/cmnts insulting/hating on mn?
Just because the world has a double standard doesn't mean Allah will.
Sisters will also be held accountable, inshaallah...
Khadija RA married twice. Doesn't that indicate that she indeed acted upon her fitrah, women always bring her up to justify their feminist agenda for work or late marriage, this is a baseless argument, because she married twice, before our prophet SWS. I don't think men who consume this content are serious, will chase 18 year Olds, many men I've known who are Muslim married older unmarried women, and women with children. I guess when these edgy boys go through life, they will mature.
I believe that khadija may Allah be pleased with her was a widow from her previous marriages, meaning her husbands had didd
Honestly your insight is unique in this Islamic RUclips scene. I think that shows how honest to god a person your are. and don't pander to controversial stuff. I'd like to see you on a podcast, and give push-back to some of the people on this scence tbh.
As a Muslim woman in her late 20s who has both been trying to get married whilst focusing on my career and my own Islamic self development, I find this narrative from brothers so rude and upsetting. I'm worried about the future of my parents and trying to secure my own future when there are so few decent brothers, yet I am also being demonised by these same practising brothers. I don't work because I want to, I work because I have to, and I am not going to throw away that security for a brother who can barely provide for us, let alone for my parents too
That’s tough sister. I’m assuming when you do get married, you won’t be spending too much time at home because you’ll be busy? That’s a hard pill to swallow if you think about it. The husband is going to have to accept a lifetime with a woman who’ll be perpetually tired and exhausted, not to mention barely more than a few hours for his kids.
May Allah make it easy for you and everyone else.
@@alphauno6614 No actually, I intend to work part time or as little as necessary, but that's not what brothers I have spoken to are asking for. Many want somebody who will be willing to leave her work after kids, with little to no consideration of alternative childcare possibilities. Qadr Allah, I know Allah is saving somebody far greater than anybody I have spoken to yet and I am content knowing that He responds to my duas. It was just refreshing to hear brother Saajid actually acknowledging our POV. When you're constantly bombarded by red pill content, you start to internalise some of the stuff they say about you. I'm still a bit traumatised by Smile2Jannah describing working women as having "masculine traits" 🤣🤣
@@Bittarig if a man wants his wife to stay home after kids, whats wrong in it ?, That's whats wrong in you, who prefer career over family, when in Islam a women basic obligation belongs to home. There is no wrong if you're Husband will prevent you from work because of intermixing environment there or because of kids. In such time even islam completely discourage women from working, and if a man is earning handsome amount, then according to many scholars it becomes prohibited upon women to work in an intermixing environment. Such attitude isn't of one who prefer deen over dunya, either accept it or not.
@@aftabahmad8658 y’all cannot even afford a house or fix your family first and you want women to stay at home and maybe get abused, cheated or left for a younger one when she has kids right?? Did you listen the video or you are too stupid
@@Bittarig Are you kids less important than your job? How come you can't get married then, there are plenty of modern muslim men, traditional Muslim men want a wife, I fully agree with them if they want her home. Don't expect a traditional man, if you yourself are not willing to stay home and lead the home.
Can I just say thank you brother Sajed for saying the things I felt in my heart out loud. I just didn't know how to say it.
It just amazes me how almost all of this guys videos are spot on.
This one was quite spot off, lol
I saw Ali dawahs video before yours and honestly, I agree with you on every aspect...you always come up with a different insight and point of view contrary to so called "Muslim scholars/preachers) I see. Thankyou for addressing. JazalAllah khair!
Allahi jazik, very very insightful. They are the exact reasons that many many sisters delay marriage and their parents encourage them to get an education. Because they don’t trust the men that spout this unIslamic ideology. The religious ones are the most worrisome 😢
Dear Brother Saajid: Martin Griffiths, who is in charge of Emergency Humanitarian Aid at the UN, is trying to end the rescue mission for earthquake survivors in Turkey early. We need leaders like you to speak up against this, as more people could potentially be saved within this week and even the next. Please spread the word so the Muslim community can take action. Thank you.
there are people being rescued as i speak. just now a 10 year old boy was saved at the 260.th hour, unscathed. this is more than a miracle. within the span of the last 24 hours 3 people were saved all on their 11th day after the earthquake. i was surprised the teams from abroad all left after a week. it is the turkish rescue teams, that are still working.
We don’t need to beg the kuffar to help us especially their organizations/aid they use to change policy and usher in liberal ideologies through to our countries. Our help will come from Allah alone
Salam. I am a 28 years old muslim woman unmarried not because I chose to but because I haven’t received any good proposals nor was I approached by brothers. I live in Canada and my parents don’t know many muslims here. My dream was to get married early, i’m not even feminist or career oriented, I don’t care, I just wanted to find a good muslim husband with whom I get along and that I like but unfortunately didn’t happen yet, I don’t think it’s my fault, it’s out of my control. I’ve tried everything even muslim dating apps but nothing worked. It upsets me when brothers say that the reason marriage is delayed is cuz i’m a feminist, which i’m not.
I'm also looking to get married. What's your origin If you don't mind?
Same sister. I’m also Canadian Muslimah. What a lot of people don’t understand is how hard it is for Muslim sisters who live in the west. It doesn’t help that some of us come from cultures that don’t help their youth to get married early like Arabs.
May Allah make it easier for us who always wanted to be a wife and mother but are not.
@@becomingRaha you are right and some people suggest to look for a spouse abroad (especially from our countries of origin) but I’ve seen too many stories where the husband just used his wife to get the permanent residency or the visa so I don’t trust anyone.
I wonder why all the other comments got deleted. You had way more thumbs up and replies, but it’s all been removed. I wrote a lengthy reply too but it’s no longer here. I wrote about putting your trust in Allah and be prepared to be a good wife and mother, you never know what Allah has planned for you. I was once in your shoes, never knew I would end up settling down and having kids later in life.
@@greenhomestead6305 there was a brother who was arguing with me, he was saying that there is no proof anywhere in the Quran or hadiths that married is rizq or a provision that Allah gives, he said that I was wrong to think that marriage is Qadr and predestined so we were debating, I sent him videos or shaykhs and links but he said I didn’t provide any proofs, so I ended up deleting my original post because the brother was being very judgmental and saying that marriage is only because of free will and that I might have high expectations, which is not true.
Thank you brother for stepping up and talking about this subject. Jazaka allaho khayran.
Exactly we women prioritize studying and working because we don't want to end up like our mothers! We don't want to end up being treated like we have seen women being treated in our society! We have seen uneducated women being used and abused and they can't do anything about it because they can't support themselves, we have seen divorced and widowed women beg for food. Righteous men are really hard to find these days so we will not give up the only physical thing that we can rely on "our work" for someone who can throw us away at any second.
If feminism had found its way into Muslim societies, it is because muslim women did not know and were never given their Islamic rights by muslim men!
What is the proof for your last statement?
What islamic rights didn't mn give you'll?
And why can't you'll marry while studying and working?
That still doesn’t make feminism right. At its core it is kufr just like redpill. May Allah guide us.
@@Therebelliousprince001 are we going to pretend that men are doing great? I've seen my grandfather physically and verbally a b u s e my grandmother. My father left when I was 2, none of the males in my mom's family wanted to support us, so my mom cleaned toilets and studied at the same time to support us.
We shouldn't have to detail these things every time we say we've seen things from men that makes us feel unsafe and dis©ardable. As women safety is number one for us to be able to function.
@@u-kneeque I never said we're doing great.
But what is the solution?
Is it to promote wmn to attend secular universities and work and abandon being wives and mothers? Is it to promote mi'sa'nd'ry and lesb'ia'ni's'm amongst wmn?
The solution is that we call to the sunnah rather than following deviant ideologies.
Excluding the exceptions, a wmn should be able to go back to her father/brother/uncle etc in such cases. This is the islamic solution.
Blaming the opposite gndr for everything is not going to solve our problems. Infact it will only make things worse.
I'm sorry your dad left you. I hope you find a righteous husband who will love you and protect you...
@@therebelliousprince0073
Yes, the solution is the Quran and sunnah. And it needs to be applied on an individual level and in one's family. Men cannot be walis of every woman out there, so they should focus on being good walis the women in their families.
I finished my education at 21, stayed at home the next year, then got pushed into going out to work at 23. I met my now husband at work, not the tallest nor richest but the first man to propose to me who prayed and didn't smoke. In 2 months we were married. I put up with so much, and I'm sure he put up with me alot, but that's life nothing is easy flowers and butterflies. But as a woman, it is SO exhausting to have to be the bigger person, the logical person, the one who always gets all the bIame in the relationship, the one who has to keep the family together and apologize for being a sensitive f®agile being. This is not our role and it b®eaks us. Men NEED to take the Iead, to not allow various emotions (especially @nge®) to cont®ol their actions and decisions, it becomes destru©tive to women and ©hildren. We need the space to feel safe, comfortable, and loved inorder to give our all for our ©hild®en, home and husband. We cannot be expected to be the s©apegoat of the whole ummah when man was created to be khalifa, and we were created way after to keep him company.
People like Daniel H only cement the tafriq between Man and wife. He only spreads negativity amongst the Muslims. He doesn't soften hearts or mend families. This is what the yahuuud started using so©ial M, songs, l-lollyvvood... Ect. Daniel makes men and women emotional and b i t t e r, which makes them say things out of emotions that only increase the d i v i d e. For what? Clicks and views? Is the $ worth it?? He will answer for this on yaoum al qyamah. What he does is NOTHING of what the prophet have done to make Muslim husbands and wives out of the people of jahiliaah.
Well those Muslim brothers are very disrespectful then if they belittle women down to those 3 categories. And if that is the only way they view them
If only these men would follow our role model prophet Mohammed PBUH. He married at 26 to Khadijah who was 40 and a widow and absolutely loved and adored her.
Yeah sure. But are these Women like Khadija as.? Khadija was older than the Prophet saw. she was a busineswoman ( but not in the modern sense i.e. going on the market mixing and constantly intermingeling with non-mahram men or having a male boss) she hired trough agents.and let other people do her trading busines with the caravans . She was NOT in the mix (huge difference to most ''career-women'' these days) IE she did even propose to the Prophet saw. trough agents!! So Khadija was older (ok), she compared to the Prophet was RICH , while he was not, she took a liking to him and proposed PRIMARILY because of his good charackter!. Now tell me how many women would do that? On top of that she was a good housewife WHO obeyed her husband , took care of the children! You see this? Rich woman, still a housewife and homemaker, still being a very gooood wife and OBEYING and never disrespecting her husband( the Prophet.saw) Which woman does that? Khadija did this!
How many woman who have a higher social status ( for example very good income!!! or university degree) would be first of EVEN willing to do that? (mary someone of lower socio-economic status IE: Woman with degree marying without degree: or richer marying somebody with significantly less income or even poor ) and then BE let alone stay a faithful, obedient wife ? How dare you compare most(many) of todays women to Khadija as.?
@@keycard6828How dare you think you are enough like the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to even deserve a wife like Khadijah (ra)?? Are most Muslim men even on the Sunnah? Do they idolize Tate or look at the Sahabas as role models? Stop being a 🤡
Absolutely!
Muhammad peace be upon him was 25
I can say from experience in this situation that I tried that and was unsuccessful, married someone of lower standard and looked past all that, only to be divorced a month later, sometimes these things happen to teach you a lesson. Look for CHARACTER and DEEN most importantly ☝️
He married 11 wives why this radical Muslim feminists not letting me marry a 50 years@@adamamunu3046
I'm so glad a person of knowledge has stepped up to discuss these issues. Keep it up brother Saajid ❤️
He’s a person of ignorance. He’s opposing the clear hadeeths.
I mean just talking for myself as a Muslim man, in high school and college i've had women try to get me to do things with them, and alhamdulillah I never did anything the whole time. So if I've stayed away from that action, I am wrong for wanting someone that's done the same. As for the part of her being younger I don't really care much about that, as long as we aren't very far in age I don't care. And as for her being educated and working, even as the man my first and second priority is my deen and my family. Sadly Saajid there's a good portion of even Muslim women that think the same way. Inshallah all I really want is a pious muslim women that I'm attracted to , shows gratitude for my efforts to please her, pushes me to be a better muslim.
I promise you, there are more unchaste Muslim men than women. So the feeling you have is shared by many of us women
@@SinaAla Where is your proof for that?
Same, brother. Keep protecting your chastity!
You are not wrong or bad for wanting a wife who is in the same position as you. Keep working on yourself and make lots of dua with full faith for a good spouse and inshallah one day you will be given someone perfect for you :)
@@SinaAla whatever you say.
Because young men like me are poor, and nobody wants poor men.
There were always undesirable and poor men, that's the way of life.
The problem is that now, more and more men are struggling financially, all while the standards for what is financially ok for marriage, have risen dramatically.
30-40 years ago, you could plausibly study, and enter into the workforce at 23-24, and buy a house at 30-35 in Cash all while getting married at 25.
Today, at 20 I can't even afford a driver's license. My friends who are 24-27 don't have cars either.
Men talking about wanting young women is a coping mechanism, a sour grapes fallacy, an illusion of choice.
I just want a Muslim wife, idc younger or older, divorced widowed or virgin. Just a righteous Muslim wife I can build a life with.
I don't blame women, I love my sisters in Islam and wish the best for them, inshaAllah they all get a righteous husband of their liking.
My issue is the older generation not seeing the writing on the wall. Even my parents still think if you just finish University with good grades you'll make enough money and everything will be fine. Not gonna happen.
Anybody denying this knows nothing about the macroeconomic trends at play.
100% this is how I'm starting to feel as well
From the female perspective, I think we are also suffering at the hands of media narratives and fictional fantasies of men being rich and attractive at ages as young as 25, when in reality our own fathers weren't financially stable until well into their late 30s or early 40s. Some of us girls are being disillusioned by this change in standards, and as such are not being very forgiving or patient with men our age who are struggling financially. May Allah make it easy for our brothers and sisters
@@alhomsiyyah that's one part of it.
The other part is that the increase of income for average people, has been very small in the last 40 years when compared to inflation, and most certainly when it comes to increases in house prices.
Simply put, an engineer or a doctor today at 25-30 years old, can't afford nearly as much as an engineer or doctor could afford at 25-30 years old 20+ years ago.
One reason the older generation is less affected by this economic stagnation, is because they got to buy assets (small business, house, rental apartments etc.) at a cheap price, and the insane increase in value on these assets easily offsets the stagnating incomes they have had, because rents on their appartments would have doubled in the last 10-15 years for example, while the income (the sole income) of a young person may have only went up 20-30% in the same timeframe.
We need to talk about this in the Muslim community, because this changes things a lot. It's no longer possible for many men to afford a house without Riba at all, for many married people, 2 incomes are required to build up savings during a period of increasing inflation.
If we don't talk about this and look for solutions, we will have an issue of marriage age continuing to rise, and the Prophet SAW warned us specifically about a society with many people of marriage age, being single.
That women only cares of money is a myth, you see women with bums all the time, cause they can talk. Anyway, the halal way is the best way, not just because its halal because its more natural. Just knock the door of a good family who has a daughter, sitt down, talk to her, see her, if you vibe, you vibe and money and looks is no issue. If shes materalistic and shallow, shes nothing to have anyway
I understand you, make Dua and keep seeking a pious spouse
Sheiks never talk about sexist men because more than likely they themselves are sexist and have red pill views it’s a tough time for sister but sisters hold on jannah is the goal and whatever you wish for ❤
Sure, f'em'i'n'ist. Or maybe it's because you are delusional and brainwashed by western ideologies. Don't slander our shuyookh.
Modern day sheikhs don’t even talk about the dangers of liberalism and feminism because they know they’ll lose their jobs lol 😂
So they have to sugarcoat everything. Indeed we are nearing the end of times.
Well a lot of scholars in the past would be called red pilled by todays standards as well. And obviously muslim men are sexist. You take a western word and apply it even though we would all be included in it. Women not being allowed to be judges or caliphs is sexist you do realise that?
Yup they are very male identified and until the men say something that is completely out of the folds of Islam than they will say something other than they are quiet as a mouse. But they have no issue terrifying down “feminist hijabis” LOL and making countless videos on them 🙃
Not sure where you live... but North America is full of feminist imams.
Yaqeen Institute... And their likes.
Can't speak for other places.
Don't paint every place on earth with the same brush.
As Salaamu Alaikum. I think what really hurt me with red pill ideology, was seeing how my own brothers in Islam possibly perceived me. Feeling as though I could never dream to be an "ideal" woman. Idk about anyone else, but I reckon we're all just trying our best in this life and are not perfect. What happened to loving each other for the sake of Allah and having rahma? It's just a shame. May Allah Subhanna wa Ta'ala guide us all and forgive us for our shortcomings.
And before anyone wants to call me to account for it. I can't imagine the harm feminism has caused our brothers. Our brothers are valuable and are deserving of love and respect. I wish the ummah would've just turned to Islam and not this secular nonsense.
Wa alaykum salam. The words being used by some Muslims has definitely be hurtful. They could get the message across with empathy and kindness, but some resort to bashing and making women feel bad instead. I do think they make some valid points though, its just not going to be accepted because of the delivery. Also another factor is that the effects of feminism are sometimes very subtle and many women might not even realize they've been affected by it. We all need to learn without putting each other down. May Allah(swt) grant you a righteous husband sister.
The internet naturally is polarizing.
Ignore anybody on the internet falling into either camp of extremes, they're always using hyperboles and extreme examples and foul language to attract attention, and make money, nothing more.
Your brothers in Islam don't view you that way. 5% of teenagers going through a phase of rage are leaving these comments, and they grow out of it eventually, so pay no attention and put no weight on these comments/videos, they're irrelevant.
My grandma was sold into marriage while her brothers went to school.
My grandma NEVER set foot in one.
Most of her generation were forced into marriages were abuse was the norm.
Feminism was necessary
Salam sister what you said is completely on point, talking about it from my side of the coin, some of the standards that Muslim women have for men are so unjust. I've had muslim women laugh at me for my income even thought its 65k a year, but worst is when you get laughed at about just way allah made you, like height. Not only have I been reticuled my whole life for just being the average height, at school, at work, everywhere I go. Wallah it makes you feel worthless when have been doing combat sports for more than 5 years and are great physical shape and a girl at 5'1 says how can you possibly protect her at 5'8. After that I went to my car alone from my family and just cried for a good 20 mins and just drove away. Too many people are expecting perfection in marriage and they don't even realize how disrepectful and hurtful they come off, its to the point that the idea of settling is considered a negative thing. Muslims need to start to learn about their deen because should be our blueprint, not some ideology that was made by some random human like all of us.
@@arondardouri2324 may Allah give you a righteous, beautiful wife brother.
It's pretty simple actually. Muslim men should get involved only with women who will be traditional wives and obey their husband. If you can't find this, for whatever reason, Islamically you should stay away from the noncompliant women, wish the sisters the best, and move on until you do find one.
Just stay away from modern feminists as you would any other unIslamic thing in your life.
I am unable to understand why some of our brothers are parroting this red-pill ideology when we have Islam already - a religion that discusses all aspects of life. We need to take guidance & advice from our divine religion instead of these man-made ideologies which came into being as a reaction to feminism.
A good muslim man would have no problem in considering a widow/Divorcee, to talk about body count to women who was previously married is not fair. What men don't want is to marry a girl with body count BEFORE marriage (or who was never married before).
Saajid you’re 100% correct, keep up the good work! 🤝
Thank you. I don't watch that content, but hear some things. These men forget they're talking about their sisters in faith. Don't they realise different people go through different things, especially before finding (or re-finding) islam? Some of these types of ideologies are against Islam and are exactly what entice women to feminism... It makes clear the double standard men have. And associating these ideologies with Islam is just as misleading as it is confusing for the general Muslim, particularly women (who tend to be more agreeable, influenced, and emotional).
These men want wives but not a marriage. They don't realise (many or most) women want someone who's gonna respect them, love them, take care of them. Not someone who's gonna talk crap about them or women as a whole. That only reveals what his potential perspectives towards her will be. It could make her feel down on herself or insecure or unworthy.
Maybe some women aren't like that, idk.
Allahul musta3an, may Allah guide us
Muslim Wmn should have rejected f'em'i'n'ism and stood with their brothers in faith. Instead they chose to follow it and turn against us brothers.
This RP influence on brothers is new. Sisters on the other hand have been influenced by f'em'i'n'ism for years...
@@Therebelliousprince001 proof that one came before the other,you must prove it.
At least give some clear and firm evidences,at least one
@@Therebelliousprince001
Social media is new and mainstream redpillism (if it can be called that) is new but some of the related thoughts and ideologies have been around for way way way longer. The type of things that men, (especially players and pimps, but maybe the average man as well), would talk about in their spare time or in rap/hip music.
There's a lot to consider but here's just a couple things:
-There is a long history of double standard in treatment that women have faced in (but not exclusive to) Muslim majority countries and Arab culture which could've contributed to their initial appeal to feminism.
-Some men have been misusing some principles against women while not applying the same stringency upon themselves from long time.
-there are other factors as well such as the western influence on promoting the wrong values and discouraging the right ones
But even if you're right that it's new, doesn't change that the ideologies are wrong, and shouldn't be endorsed
Its a whole picture where both sides have substantive reasons for being where they are/ holding the views they do, but ultimately both are wrong, place value on the wrong things, and are disrespectful (albeit in different ways) to the opposite gender.
@@Freedom_for_Palestina feminism was planted more than 50 yeaes ago in the muslim countries by colonial regimes red pill wasnt. Red pill wasnt spread like feminism was not to mention how red pill controversy in the muslim community wasnt here for such a long time
@@mehmet20003 may be officially it was not
2:48 This was exactly on my mind the other day..... I just recalled how on Pakistani social media there's an increasing trend of sisters encouraging other sisters to be financially independent, giving the reason that domestic violence and husbands leaving their wives in the dust has increased. And if it were to happen to one of the sisters reading the comment they should be able to cope with such an experience. So now nearly every woman wants to work a bit out of this fear, even if it were from home (ofc this means they sometimes also delay marriage)
Two wrongs dont make a right...if men is not suitabke then your religion gives you the permission to take divorce and get married again..if that is your defination of dealing with this problem that all the women should start working than that is stupidity especially in a country like Pakistan where you dont have enough jobs for men even let alone women!
If you really wanna do the right thing then put all ur energy in moving the people more closer to islam rather then giving them men made false hope and solution as that will bring in even more distruction!
@@publicpm8809 When did I say its my definition of dealing with the problem? Btw 'definition' or u mean 'suggestion?' Anyways, I'm just pointing out what I've seen sisters talking about. I'm not giving any opinion about the problem 🤷♂️
@@maazmustafa2322 brother if you are writing about it and mentioning it in Ur comments so directly or indirectly u r promoting it cz u believe it is true and that's why u quoted that over here as an example so I'm not wrong if I said "Ur way"....all I'm saying is two wrongs will not improve anything but will definitely create more mess, Pakistan don't even have the capacity to give jobs to men and if women will start jumping in regardless of if they really need it or not then what is going to happen cz we both know in Islam when men earn they support the whole family on the other hand many women working and sitting on top places don't actually need those jobs, they are just doing it so that they can keep an upper hand on their husbands and for socializing
These trends are initiated by the west.
@@publicpm8809 🤦♂️🤦♂️ Me writing it in the comments was just me recalling how I just saw what brother sajid was discussing at that 2:48 min mark. That sajid is right. I myself have seen these things occurring now and becoming a reality. Whether these things happening is correct or what is the solution to it... I don't know.
Feminism, liberalism, progressivism , cultural baggage and wokeness led to most of the marriage issues today. Islam makes it simple but people go against Islam
Add redpill too
And redpill.
I disagree. Red pill came as a reactionary movement to feminism in the last few years. Red pill is not the major problem today.
@not me I never claimed red pill should be followed. I don’t follow it because the Quran and Sunnah is enough for me. But when we look at today’s marriage crisis, red pill is not causing as much as a problem as feminism and liberalism is.
@not me nowhere did I say red pill should be used for anything. I stated a fact that it developed as a reactionary movement to feminism.
I’m 33 and this red pill movement makes me feel like I have no value and makes me feel lost and unattractive. I have been trying to get married for years. I am the primary breadwinner in my family due to my dad being very sick. Please make dua for him, he is in the hospital right now. I would love to have a loving husband who will provide for me so I can stop working.
It is not you have no value it is men more likely to look for young one atleast below 30s. Thats fact in most scenario.. Men in there 40s might look for those in 30s.. This is the reality.. May Allah grant you good spouse..
@@gladiatorfarid1580 I was interested in a man in his 40s for marriage but he decided he wanted to be with someone from his tribe. My dad passed away after this comment. I am just going to work on myself and have trust in Allah.
This 'bodycount' thing doesn't really apply to divorcees. What some men, mean, is they prefer women who have not slept around outside of marriage.
Of course, feminist types like to conflate these two things in order to strengthen their argument.
No, much of this bodycount talk has been about divorcees. We've seen it on Mahdi's channel and elsewhere on Muslim social media
believe me, it also does apply to divorcees.
@@alhomsiyyah Nope, it's about women who mess around before marriage.
@@alhomsiyyahit doesn’t apply to divorcees or widowers. Stop this. Most men only apply it to women who do zina, because as @adamp2426 said, feminists are conflating these two things just to make men seem worse and give a free pass to zina.
It does apply to divorce, they keep saying keep away from single mothers and they are used goods, also body count can’t be used against men or woman in Islam as when you get married you don’t disclose your sin as it’s forbidden. So how will you know if someone is a virgin or not? And you cannot accuse someone of Zina without evidence or you will be the one sining. The red pill doesn’t work in Islam
Salaam brother, this is a great topic and a few good points just prove how toxic and anti-Islamic the whole red pill culture is. Allah bless you and protect you.
My observation about women delaying marriage -- or at least in my quarters -- is that it is to focus on career. I feel like the greater message that needs to be told is that "college and marriage are not mutually exclusive".
And lots of women I know of get married and tell me that suddenly all their husbands do is sit on the couch, dealing with "failure to launch syndrome".
But with divorce being so common, and families not knowing how to raise good mature Muslim men, and the Muslim community so helpless, it is important for women to be able to have a backup plan, for better or worse.
Otherwise you'll have a bunch of mid 20's women with kids (divorced or in an abusive marriage) complaining to the local imam.
As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ predicted things will only get worse and it seems that it will get to a point where muslims will consider normal relations with the same gndr since they fear/hate/resent the opposite gndr.
Prophet ﷺ said, “Once my nation considers five things permissible, then destruction will befall them: when cursing one another appears, wine is drunk, silk is worn [by men], musical instruments are played, and men suffice themselves with men and women suffice themselves with women.”
Collected by al-Bayhaqi in Shu‘ab al-Eemān (5055) who deemed it strong; also deemed ḥasan by al-Albāni in Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb (2054, 2386).
and the pandemic of mid 20s divorced women with kids has already begun.
I disagree tbh because the back up plan aka university is actually only increasing the odds and chances of these relationships not working. Actually thats why divorces are happening, yes maybe to do with freedom but nobody is taking into account the potential stress it adds to women along with having children or behavioural changes aka becomes bitchy because she needs to behave like that in these toxic soulless work environments.
This isn't even to mention the amount of muslim women who are dating and sleeping around in western universities than trying to tell guys they cant marry because they are too busy studying. I'm annoyed at the gaslighting and rationalizations muslim sisters do tbh. Many are trying to once again blame men when its quite obvious the new increase in divorces and relationships not happening is primarely due to cancerous female empowerment movements in the west. Its affected muslim and non-muslim women.
@@loverofhumanity Surely Muslims are not blatantly committing zina?
JazakAllah Khair.
Red pillers and feminists, harming our islamic culture and straying our brothers and sisters away from actual problems in the muslim society. Instead they're creating more problems and more animosity and friction and increasing the lack of compassion in the society, for eachother.
May Allah protect us from these evil movements and may Allah protect us from the shar caused by these evil movements. Aameen
Brother the individual Mehdi Tijani goes on shorts advising women to engage in mutah. He was invited to Daniel Haqiqatjou a few years. So imagine the toxic red pill philosophy between the two. The guy Tijani keep away. He does not represent Islam. Neither does Daniel Haqiqatjou. Then on the feminist extreme you get Saffiyah Sabreen. Stay away.
Mehdi need to be shut down completely. Dude is sick!
It is misiyar not mutah
@@dronestrikejr I hold that stance on those individuals even more so.
OMG!! I was hoping that you'd do this video!! I've watched some of the debates even from Muslims that have been floating around on RUclips and I was hoping that you'd shed some light on it. As always may Allah bless you brother.
I’m from Malaysia. The third one not happened here. Malaysian males mostly want to find working female to be his wife. And they also demand about the female career. This is also a problem too. Big3 problem with muslim males here. It’s because, in most cases when only the husband working, the family will have financial problems. And more pressure will be onto the husband to make ends meet. So they are afraid of that and they expect the wife to help them financially in the family.
Thanks Saajid
Even if it was in a more appropriate format, it is still unproductive as their arguments seem to be based on RP ideology, statistics done on non muslims, their own feelings and emotions etc rather than the Quran and the Sunnah.
@@Therebelliousprince001 I totally agree and I was not talking specifically about these guys who are currently doing this on YT. I mean to say that if it is a must to have a conversation/discussion with a nonMahram woman for whatever reason it is best to occur من وراء حجاب.
@@WeEducateAndTutor Do you mean behind a screen?
It is sufficient if the sisters are all wearing the proper hijab/niqab.
These conversations between mn and wmn seem to be necessary due to how marriage, the family and the relationship between mn and wmn are crumbling before our eyes.
But it should be done in an islamic setting and the Quran and the Sunnah should be quoted.
@@therebelliousprince0073 I am yet to find a sheikh who subscribes to the salafism (e.g. sulaiman alruhili, ibn baz, bin uthymeen, abdulrazzaq albadr, etc.) sit with a nonmahram covered woman to discuss matters of deen.
@@therebelliousprince0073 even the idea i proposed from behind a hijab, on an audio-podcast format, our prominent salafi sheikhs have not done that before - as far as I am concerned. They only take questions from nonmahram women, but dont do podcasts with them or give and take.
Allahumme barik! Nailed it again my brother. It's interesting to see that these problems like abuse and basically everything you talked about are not region/country specific, but unfortunately seems like it's all over our ummah. Continue talking about this brother, may Allah give you long life, ameen.
Finally Saajid. You finally understand what I was stressing about! Thank you for speaking up for us. Jazak Allahu khayrun.
Such a beautiful talk! Jazaka Allah khayran
Let me play "devil's advocate"...
1. For a girl not to have a past:
This is a no brainer. Biologically this is desirable and if a woman has a past it creates doubt and uncertainty in your future... Additionally there are hadith supporting the idea for men to marry chaste women... in today's society where cheating is so rampant, you just can't trust a woman with a past to not cheat on you...
2. For a woman to be young:
This is obviously just desirable on the level of physical attraction to most men.
However, a younger woman is also sometimes easier to work with... since she's young, she isn't fully set in her ways yet and she's easier to develop with. However, men need to sacrifice here. Not all of us will be blessed with young girls.... get over it guys.
3: For a woman to not be educated:
The general trend is that when a woman is educated, she tends to focus more on her career and less on the children... her being a career woman while trying to manage the family just isn't sustainable for the well being of the children. One or the other has to give... If you're a man who cant accept this, of course you're going to seek out uneducated women.
Additionally, we all know what goes on in the universities. These days it is a miracle for a person to make it out of university chaste... this adds to the idea of not wanting educated women.
I'd love to hear what the women have to say.
I'd also appreciate if the women could tell us men where we are lacking for a change. Then we can see the other side of the picture.
As a woman, I totally agree and respect these legit demands.
From my perspective on men, they lack islamic manhood on yearning to be a provider, protector and maintainer. Even if the wife chips in to help here and there, he must be outdoing her in terms of finaces and strenuous work.
Because the practicing men (with no abusive psycho ikhlaq) are so few, I'm willing to contribute financially if need be and advise the sisters to work on what they can bring to the table while retaining their femininity.
This needs to go viral. It's absurd how harsh and unrealistic Muslim man have become. It's a disease and woman are scared to marry
U can't criminalize men for having preference and choice.. it's their choice... You can avoid but can't change the preference
@@shehzaadful Their choice to be harsh on woman?! What are they, wors than animals? Do you know our prophet (sala Allahu alahi wa salaam) would not let his daughter marry a harsh man?! Did you know the best man are the once best to their wives? What good does it serve the community if man become harsh? And, no woman on earth likes to be abused unless she feels she has no choice or is mentaly made unstable.
@@mariammoumi9622 mariam read again..am talking about unrealistic opinions am not supporting women abuse.. by preference i meant if he wants certain type of women its his choice.. u cant criminalize them for it
@@shehzaadful what type of woman are you talking about?
@@mariammoumi9622 stay at home wife i think
We need to stop watching/supporting Ali dawah and Mo hijab at all.
More like Daniel h.
Why??
Everyone has their own style, we should be united not divided. I like all the brothers doing Dawah. The more of these platforms we have, the better.
While I appreciate what Saajid is saying here (I immensely appreciate his kindness, understanding toward women, the other brothers I must admit r a tad harsh on women calling us names etc. part of it, it's cultural. Western (Muslim) men are more open-minded & polite this why more born-Muslim women prefer to marry them (including me). I think it's best of both worlds. That being said, I can't disregard other dawah brothers because I know for a fact that (it's better for women to get married young, education (esp beyond junior high) shouldn't be a priority for women,. Now the issues mentioned in this video about in case there's a divorce (which the rate is pretty high nowadays), in a Sharia society this wasn't a problem because women were getting married again as soon as 3edda is over!! The men were so chivalrous & masculine, they took it upon themselves if their women remained without marriage. My point is, the religion of Allah works perfectly altogether, as a whole ( not by picking & choosing what we want)
Danial Haq and Mohammad Hijab are supporting the Sunnah and do tremendous good that noone else does. 💚☝️🕋🕌
May Allah ta'ala increase them.
Ameen.
Polygyny is good for the ummah.
Men are leaders of their families.
Muslims don't bend to false idealogies.
False idealogies deserved to be exposed, even ridiculed.
Allahu akbar
☝️💚
Saajid Lipham has yet to debate Daniel Haq, and instead passive aggressively attempts character assasinations on Daniel...
Be a man, and say what you believe to the ummah, Saajid.
If you have evidence, bring it.
Truth prevails over falsehood.
Enough of this talking around the issue.
Debate him with your evidence.
Only way to end this.
Bismillah.
Don't agree 👎
Why cuz they tell the truth we men love them cry about it 😂
The reality of red pill
QUESTION:
My wife disobeyed me. I have asked her to go get some stuff from the grocery store and make me something I wanted. And she said, "You go do the groceries, and I will make you it." Is her not wanting to go the grocery store a disobedience?
ANSWER by sheik assim:
Of course not! A real man doesn't ask his wife to go out to buy things!
All their focus about is my wife is obedient or not but their never know what is their own responsibilities towards their wife and family . Their just like the hijabi feminist who never want to take care of any responsibility on her shoulders but will quote all the Hadeeth and verses which talks about women's rights in Islam.
And umm Khalid is a educated women.
this guys are will divorce their wife over little thing and it's not he's going to take care of her after divorcing her financially .
Me:but brother she is not well educated enough to get a good job ?" Him :I don't care about that 😌 their nothing but selfish .Then again their will go around brainwashing other brother about importance of getting married to a virgin and not highly educated women 😑. Their even think if she's not well educated then I can abuse her as much I want bcz she depends on me financially.Seriously using words like milk or something for women! As Muslim we must respect women, shouldn't call them with such names .Hope in future those poor sister won't get married to a kafir if we pushed away our own widow and divorce sisters. Absolutely its against the sunnah .
What if a red pill divorced a red pill 's daughter and he is a sick father who can't even earn money to take care of his daughter in his old age ? (Don't do drama about brother will take care of her ,Muslim community will take care of her ) At that time this people will knows the value of education (under the sharia ) . Bcz their don't even want their own daughter to get educated. Their say in Islam women obliged to have knowledge of deen but still their didnt bring a single hadheeth or verse about prohibition of worldly education.
The worst part I have seen from red pill are two things that one is that child custody goes to father and I can't believe how someone can be cruel enough torcher a woman by using this law and definitely he going to enjoy his life with second wife not gonna stay with his daughter/son. also for them in Islam men are highter than women and if we ask them what makes a men higher than women in Islam? Their will "well I can beat my wife " I can't believe how someone can be cheap enough to prove that men are higher than women by saying i can beat women, real men don't hit women . Like seriously the non Muslim misinterpreting that verse but these guys are like "no no your right ,in Islam we can beat our wife " . Every single rights of husband is for them is weapon against women. Already their crying how today Muslim women are dating non muslim guy ,if their keep torched women like that situation will get worse than this . When someone use Quran and sunnah in his life nothing will go wrong ,if anything going bad in our community, its means its we who is making mistakes by abounding Quran and sunnah.
One of reason why in subcontinent women can't get married bcz beggars wants dowry ! .
I looked for that question but couldn't find it. Are you sure that occurred?
I never heard a man ask a question like that and I have been listening to him for quite some time
Thank you for this brother Sajid. There’s too much of the wrong type of advise being exposed online which is very damaging to both men, women and children. Detrimental to society. Marriage is an act of worship and we don’t get taught it. we get taught to read namaaz and Quran. Marriage should be taught too. It’s half our deen and I truly feel it should be in the syllabus, this would indeed help people to make changes and self improve to be a good spouse according to ways of Islam.
I believe the content brother Saajid is referring to is Br Ali Dawah’s ‘Bitter Truth Show’ where he has a panel of 4 brothers and 4 sisters and they discuss the relationship dynamics between men and women, a lot of it referencing talking points from the red pill movement.
Although there is a lot of biological truths that are discussed within red pill, we have to remember that it is an ideology, just like feminism, and it’s ok to gain knowledge from it as spoken of in the Quran, but we should not follow its teachings. The only teachings we should be following is the Sunnah, ameen.
It's not an ideology, but a praxeology. Stating the reality between the genders is not ideological, it has no end goal like feminism. Red pill is observable truths, what the wielder wishes to do with the truth is up to them.
@@ahmedalmahdi9254 red pill movement is far from Islam. It’s the flip side of modern feminism. Same thing
@@luluah1198 no it's not. Studying how females and males behave in a relationship has nothing to do with ideology. It simply makes men aware of female nature, which is perfectly in line with Islam, as Umar ibn Al Khattab and Imam Ghazali both spoke about female nature. Read Ihyaa 'Ulum -al-Deen.
@@ahmedalmahdi9254 women should be aware of men's character too
So i guess we should also take some knowledge from feminism then, right? If red pill is OK, then feminism too
In South Asian cultures a woman has a lot more to lose in a bad marriage, way more than her husband. And I stand by this as a man, no matter what some teenaged minded men say. It is what it is. Y'all first afford a wife and then spout the Andrew Tate rhetoric of women belong in the kitchen.
The way best is the way of balance. Seek education but get married at the same time. Girls should ideally start preparing for marriage at 17-18 looking for righteous spouses trying their best. If they seek education, free from any evil like free mixing etc this is good. But ideally the brother should be able to provide even if it's just the basic things for his wife and kids. Problem is many sisters end up having high standards and they end up staying single for longer periods and many of the brothers end up being average earners as Allah knows best what life style had they when they were young or lack of opportunities and whatever it maybe. It's part of Allah's qadr for some people Allah has restricted and limited their provisions never the less they should try their best and seek the help of Allah and both should hasten to get married and keep themself chaste and try their best to fulfill each others rights
Thank you for speaking about this issue so sensibly. Alhumdullilah for brothers like you who truly see the full picture and adhere to the middle path. May Allah give you success.
Finally a middle ground that is perfectly balanced
Thanks!
May Allah reward you for this brother.
YOu really put my thoughts into words. In my country many men have 2-4 wives and many children, and many of them don´t take care of them. In my country there are many women working, one might see a woman pregnant in the last stage of her pregnancy working under the heat and carrying things for others to make money for her children, most of these women are not even widows, think about that? He is somewhere sitting and ready to use her money.
After a divorce many men leave their children, forcing the women to work to maintain them. My mother was like that, and I know too many women who have had the same experience. And unfortunately when leaving the family becomes a culture and child rearing is only on the shoulders of the women, then I think is only right to get an education so that she does not need to beg on the streets to take care of her kids.
My country is also in war, and many men die. There is no one taking care of them after that, she will have to think of something for herself and her children. The whole situation is so unfair.
And when i try to explain that not every man is taking care of his family, then I am reminded to fear Allah. As if saying the truth is somehow wrong. I hope to be wrong but young muslim men are starting to have this victim mentality seen among teh alphabet community, teh obese community in the western world as well as western women. This thinking that they are being oppressed and need to fight against women in this case. In my country women still get married and when he leaves her she tries her best to take care of her kids and many times there is no fmily to help her with it.
Moral of this story is to marry righteous men and keep connected with family
Jazak’allah for this, please do make more videos on this. It’s so toxic thats it’s pushing women away from Islam and also being married. Jazak’allah for pointing out which brothers too discreetly. You explained this soo well and on point. I am 41 married Alhamdulillah to a man who would never re-marry ( he not interested at all) and I have two daughters but these talks even make me insecure
﴿لَقَد كانَ لَكُم في رَسولِ اللَّهِ أُسوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَن كانَ يَرجُو اللَّهَ وَاليَومَ الآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثيرًا﴾ [الأحزاب: ٢١]
(21) There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allāh an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allāh and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allāh often.
*pattern = an example to be followed
ﷺ
getting married is no child's play, getting married in these times is a difficult choice because there are few practicing Muslim women and men in these times.
That's why you pray. And the rest will follow. Without salah idk where I would be. 😐
@@blueflame3531 exactly this brother .
Exactly this! Finally someone who said it how it is and not pander to one side. May Allah make it easy for us.
@@nxronite9994 amin 🤲🏻
@@nxronite9994 plus i notice that most muslim men sees the woman as a piece of meat they judge you by your appearance if not wear a hjjab and call you names but when ask if the muslim they say yes while they even dont pray i may not wear a hijab but at least i do my daily prayers also i have noticed that christian men respect you more as a woman unfortunately we are not allowed to marry a Christian so the best thing is to stay single .
It is true what you have said. Though It is recommended to get married young from the Islamic standpoint. But men and women should continue with lifelong learning and acquire skills to live happy and fulfilled lives. Education and marriage go hand in hand for both men and women.
Bark Allah fik brother Sajid. You have both knowledge and wisdom which is something rare to find in scholars these days.
بارك الله في علمك وفي حكمتك وزادك من فضله
He is not a scholar.
And scholars ARE wise according to how they advise and govern according to Qur'an and Sunnah.
Please brother saajid keep on speaking on this topic don't stop JazakAllahuKhaeran
Because we’ve seen far too many women being treated horribly by their husbands. Not just Muslims, non-Muslims, too. Why put yourself in a vulnerable predicament where youre completely dependent on your husband and he could take advantage of that if he wanted to? I believe being a housewife is ideal, but absolutely every single woman needs some type of an education.
this is nonsense, do women not have family to rely on? if this is the case then we would be dead as a community, but we are not dead because that is a feminist lie. in Yemen there are millions of orphans but the streets are not over run because the family takes care of their own.
She can still get married while studying, delaying it doesnt make sense
Agree about education but to think all men want to marry women young to “take” advantage of them is nonsense lmao. If it is all doom and gloom from the men’s side then why are our own brothers in Islam and non Muslims running towards the opposite extreme of redpill? The issue is much more than just black and white.
@@Browneys4Utheir fathers and uncles brothers etc maybe the abusers
@@Surfing566 you need to read your comment again because it doesn't make sense.
A voice of reason FINALLY! 👏👏👏❤️
Another reason we “delay” is just cause we can’t find any decent men 🤷🏽♀️. 50 women to 1 rijaal prophecy comes to mind.
So are all/most mn indecent according to you?
The prophesy has nothing to do with wmn being brainwashed by SM into believing all mn are abusers/evil etc.
Acting like good women are in abundance lol try finding one single woman outside that actually observes hijab correctly, i’ll wait
@@Therebelliousprince001 Then what does it mean? Please do tell
@@Therebelliousprince001 not all,but some definitely are
Waiting till 30 won’t make it easier tho. And are you saying majority of men aren’t decent? Hard to believe because to me majority of women in these times of degeneracy are far from decent. Even in some parts of the Easter world. Maybe we should ask ourselves after the degeneracy of feminism why are our brothers swarming towards redpill? What’s causing this shift in extremes? 🤔
To be honest sister i know are not delaying marriage. There are no brothers asking to marry them. Then when they pass 30 no one wants them as men want younger women. So please ask around and you will see it.
True
I agree! It is very difficult for many women to even find men who want to marry them. In my community majority of the Muslim men I see have girlfriends.
Where do you live? Where I live it’s normal for Muslims to marry in their late 20s/early 30s. Tbh I know plenty of sisters who married men they liked in their 30s and they have had children, etc. Keep in mind, being online clouds your judgement, it doesn’t always reflect reality. A lot of these red pill men are projecting because no woman wants to be with them.
@@uok6216 sadly even the ones abroad nowadays want younger women but when you check islamic matrimonial websites it is men from abroad that usually show interest even in my daughter who is over 30 years of age. Not out of love but to come to the west for passports/papers because think: are there no women to Marry in India/Pakistan/Bangladesh or Nigeria/Ethiopia/Somalia ???
Also the sisters rejected are usually 30 plus and so the issue of marrying a man abroad means if you are 35 years old you might have to wait for that man to join you in your own country an average time period of 4-10 years. Do you have that energy to wait for a man that long? Then when they come they get lost with the culture shock for a while no matter how educated or uneducated they are. Settling in a new country is not easy.
For men it is easier because when you have a good job and a good bank account it meabs he can travel more often to see his wife and put her in a good home near her family so he can visit the wife and any new children alone without needing a mahram unlike a muslim woman. For a woman it is hard to travel without a mahram then if she has a child she becomes a single mother and unlike men who marey women in other countries she is more likely to be the one sending some money to the man who lives in Africa/Asia/middle East.
Many people i know who married men in other countries their marriage sadly ended in divorce as the women couldn't handle living alone with young children without a husband who could support them financially, physically and emotionally. This is when there is another difference between women and men even mareying from abroad as they can travel easily, can will financially support his wife abroad who has a family support in her country of origin and also his wife's status will be higher as she will have a home and at times maids etc.
So until i heard of the red pill disease that has spread in the muslim male population i did not understand why so many young 30+ women could not find a good man to marry.
Muslims were already a minority and many muslim men being fussy and rejecting so many young muslim sisters because they feel that after girls pass 22 years old they are expired goods makes you wonder if they expect these sisters to marry Christian and hindu men. The injustice Muslim men are doing is unbelievable.
They even hide behind their wives for not practicing poligyny. Of course women are also selfish but men in the past did it so why cant they not practice it fairly...and when they do it is for theor own pleasure not to please Allah..i considered polygyny for my daughter but in the marriage websites married men looking for a 2nd wife are all looking for women under 25 even when is a man in his 40s. Ajib.
25 years ago 30+years old men used to marry divorced or single or widowed sisters. I thought Muslim men stopped marrying young muslim sisters in their 30s because because some are busy with zina or because many men in their 30s in our Somali community went to jail for gang related issues. Many men over 30 who are same age as my daughters also have addictions etc. So i assumed with a minority group within a muslim minority group we needed to check for other nationalities closer to our western Islamic culture such as muslims from ethiopia/eritrea and reverts. Nothing. In the Islamic website we found strange men asking if she was vergin and how come she was not married in her 30s and if she played the field before. We reported those guys and they got kicked out but over 2 years ago we did not get what it was. Now we know it! It is a new culture called red pill ideology where deaming women and seeing them.as expired milk is normalised.
Please se Ali Dawah covering how Muslim men are shocked of a brother marrying a divorced sister with 5 kids. I really find brother Sajid and brother Ali covering these topics. J.kheyran
Hasbiayallhu wa ni3mal wakil.
@@zamzamahmed8139Lol after 22 girls are expired? Where r u living? Any age below 28 is good age in our society
Love at first sight. Sorry is that the correct term? I married my wife even though she is older than me. We support each other financially. She never raised her voice. I never insulted her or her family or beat her. If i am really angry i will leave the house for a few hours to calm down. Yes we disagreed but never let it linger more than 3 days. We have 3 grown up children. We have been married for 44 years. Every day i asked Allah swt to grant us happines in this world and the next world, to guide us to the right path.
I cannot thank you enough for talking about this issue 😭😭😭
Right. And if this vid was against f'em'i'n'ism/l'g'b't movement, would you have been displeased?
@@Therebelliousprince001 what does that have to do with anything???? If it was about feminism and LGBT I wouldn't have been displeased just bored. Cause everyone is so ready to talk about feminism and what problems that movement caused to women and especially poor men🥺. But there's literally no Muslim personality who talks about the other side, and what problems women could face if they don't have an education , or the harm that it does saying we age like milk. As if men become more handsome when they age😂😂😭
@@Therebelliousprince001 Please don’t be the “All lives matter” guy in a BLM protest, just don’t, it’s not a nice look.
@@adjadenisedoumbia9305 Majority of content is giving advice to men to be better. Have you noticed?
@@alphauno6614 I don't think so, maybe now but he has more "reaction videos " I think
So eloquently said thank you brother 🙏
Asc walal
Loving this trajectory brother Sajid is upon. BarakAllah fik.
Asalamualykum brothers and sisters.
So this marriage type of topic is talked about a lot, and I’m not sure who’s right or wrong. From a young boy, I’ve always been excited to get married, even before I began practicing Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) said that if I marry, I’ll complete half my religion. So allhumdullilah, I’m still excited and willing to get married. However, with everyone talking about this topic and who is the ideal wife, I am confused.
I would like to share my thoughts on marrying a person. Correct me if I’m wrong. I don’t mind marrying someone younger or older than me, because the Prophet (PBUH) married Aisha and Khadijah (ra).
I don’t mind marrying an educated woman, since seeking knowledge is obligatory for both men and women, said the Prophet. However, since working in the workplace is only an obligation for the man, if I do marry a woman who is working, I would not allow her to work. This is due to several reasons:
1. It’s haram for a woman to work in a place where you have to interact with the opposite sex.
2. I do not want my wife to stress because of work. Allah blessed man with the capability to handle the work stress better than women.
3. I want my wife to take care of the house, making it a happy home, raising the kids. I want my wife to prioritize taking care of me. I want her to feel comfortable and I want her to learn more about Islam in the comfort of our home, and to teach our children - it’d be great that when I come home from work, she can educate me on what she’s learnt. Of course, she won’t have to do everything; I hope inshallah to have a wonderful relationship with my kids. I would also do my house chores since the Prophet did so, and help around the house when I can.
I think what my brothers and sisters mean about the woman ‘not being educated’, they mean that they didn’t go to college in order to search for a job, which will delay their marriage and possibly inspire feministic values. I would love to have a wise woman as my wife, who would comfort and advice me and encourage me to do righteous acts of worship - someone who would pester me to wake up early to head to Fajr mosque, haha! I also wouldn’t mind having a dumb wife, because then I can share all sorts of knowledge with her, insyaAllah I’ll be rewarded for that and insyaAllah she’ll appreciate me more and love me more.
I think a lot of women should avoid to work if they are able to. Allah says that men are the caretakers of women (4:34). A woman should try to marry as soon as she is able. If a woman is not married, she is under the care of her father. If not the father, the uncle. If not, the brother and then whoever is a male relative - I could be wrong about this however. If a woman must work, then she should do so in a halal environment, where she won’t have to mingle with the opposite sex. In the case my wife and I divorce, insyaAllah she’ll have her male relative take care of her. In the case I die early, I hope insyaAllah I made arrangements for my brother or a trusted friend to marry her, with her permission.
I wouldn’t mind marrying a widow, since the Prophet married widows, and I wouldn’t mind if I married a woman who is not a virgin. The only concern I have to marrying a virgin is that, since she has experience, I won’t be able to satisfy her, which is a grounds for a divorce. The hopeful part of me is that she’ll be able to teach me and I’ll have more fun with her than a woman with no experience, but… yeah, insyaAllah.
I’d prefer marrying someone beautiful, but I don’t mind if she’s ugly. I want to marry a woman who would help me stay on the Straight Path and who would obey what I say. Because anyway, inshallah if we get to Paradise and we are reunited, she’ll be extremely beautiful, so I don’t mind playing the long game. But despite this, I want to marry someone who cares about looking good for my eyes only, someone healthy and not fat. And if a woman is beautiful on the inside, I swear to God, it covers up her ugliness.
In terms of personality, as long as she is adopts the characteristics of a good Muslim woman, one who practices the faith and encourages me to do as well, and is a woman who obeys my commands (as long as they are not sinful or overbearing), I am content. Anything extra i.e her likes and dislikes, if she’s quiet or speaks a lot, I’m not too fussy and I can adapt to her, insyaAllah letting her qualities flourish. I would like my wife to be comfortable with me, not afraid to be how she’s truly like, as long as it’s not sinful.
Preferably, I would love to have a wife who doesn’t mind me being close to her majority of the time, one who enjoys giving me lots of attention. If she’s clingy towards me, great, I can die a happy man. I don’t want a woman who is too independent, I wish for her to depend on me and for me to depend on her, insyaAllah.
Jazakallhu khayran for reading and for any corrections you made. And please pray for me to get married to a righteous spouse soon, and to make me a righteous spouse, ameen. I pray for all of us that Allah makes it easy for us to marry righteous spouses, so that we are happy and increased in worship towards Him and create a stronger Ummah, ameen.
Allah knows best.
@@anisamalow6186 Ameen. Jazakillha khayran, sis, for your kind words, prayers and approval of my statements. Yeah, allhumdullilah, while I do consume Western media/propaganda, I’m not so affected by their ideologies as opposed to a Muslim who does live in the West; they are the more praiseworthy ones since they have to struggle through those ideas to remain firm on the Straight Path. Even though it may seem difficult, if a Muslim places all their trust in Allah and follow what He has ordained despite not knowing the wisdom behind it, that person won’t regret it; they’ll be much happier and insyaAllah they’ll learn the wisdom by experiencing it. Allah knows best and He is in control of everything - He won’t let you down. Therefore, I should try my best to follow whatever Allah has said.
I forgot to mention, but I desire a relationship with my wife in which we are each other’s best friend, meaning that any thought or concern we have on anything, good or bad, we would be the first person to share it with; we’d be extremely comfortable with one another. Ultimately, I want a wife who will help me in my deen, me to hers, and get reunited in Jannatul Firdaus, insyaAllah.
I pray that I’ll be in a relationship that is similar to the Prophet (PBUH) and Aisha (ra)’s; their romance and interactions with each other is sooooo cute, I got diabetes from how sweet it was! However, if Allah has decreed for me to die without getting married, I am content with His Plan. Because if I do my best worshipping Him in this life (and I pray that we all die honorable deaths in worship to our Lord, ameen), insyaAllah I’ll get rewarded with the hot babes of Paradise.
It’s always a win-win either way for a Muslim ;)
Allah knows best.
@@anisamalow6186 Ameen, ramadan mubarak, and walaikum
Masha'Allah!!! one of the few voices of truth in our community, may Allah bless you sir!
A very educated take on this extremely delicate issue, may Allaah reward you.
“On the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Do not be envious of one another; do not artificially raise prices against one another; do not hate one another; do not turn one’s back on each other; and do not undercut one another in business transactions. And be, [O] servants of Allah, bretheren. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him. He does not fail him [when he needs him]. He does not lie to him. And he does not show contempt for him. Piety is here” - and he pointed to his chest three times. “It is enough of evil for a person to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All of a Muslim is inviolable to another Muslim: his blood, his wealth and his honor.” (Recorded in Muslim)
You were spot on! Jazakumllahu khayr for addressing these issues
Saw a Muslim singles event on Facebook. It said women’s capacity filled. Zero men in attendance.
Thank you very much for this much needed video! So many Muslims only focus on one side of this whole debate.
I think the topic discussed in this video has completely different problems in different countries, even though we are all Muslims. So, I noticed a lot of comments from people from Eastern countries who complain that it is difficult for women to find a decent man. In the West, at the moment, the situation is completely different - girls, even if they are practicing Muslims, do not want to start a family and are not interested in marriage, they like to spend time doing creativity or hanging out with friends.
Western women get too much attention from men and as a result they stop seeing value in men. I am 26 years old, have an above average income and am a practicing Muslim, but still single, as the girls I tried to communicate with rejected me on the grounds that I want to have descendants, and they are too young and do not want to at such a young age to spend time with children (and these were Muslim women over 23 years old who wear a hijab and observe five daily prayers!). The liberal view of the world has penetrated even into the Islamic environment, and this is very sad, because it only leads to degradation and extinction.
Thank you for sharing.
they didn't want to marry you so it was a polite excuse. Deal with it.
Marriage is not obligatory
I don't know why a marriage need to divorce after being marry or be prepared by being divorced.. that thing is the most hated by Allah SWT.
Marriage is not only about fulfilling your lust or desire,marriage is about to be being completed to each other whoever their marriage is base under the foundation of lust or desire,well.. you reap what you sow,that is only what you got
In my humble opinion, I believe that the Quran and hadith compiled with the sunnah should be more than sufficient to help navigate life especially this marital and relationship discourse hence the idea that we do not need feminism or the red pill movement.
Likewise a lot of these movement forget that Islam has upheld the dignity and honour of women which is now being stripped with many of the humiliating and derogatory statements made by both ends of the spectrum. I mean would the Prophet s.a.w really compare women to milk.
We are forgetting that the Prophet encourages men to marry those women who have been widowed or divorced as one example.
Allah knows best.
There isn't one picture that fits all marriages. Some marriages work if the woman observes more traditional roles of being a housewife whilst the man is the breadwinner and some marriages work if the woman upholds more financial roles alongside the husband thus sharing the household duties amongst them. Marriage is a partnership and you should commit to your roles that Allah has ordained and make compromises if necessary.
Brilliant message! So much better than those muslim fresh and fit podcasts that Ali dawah is posting these days
Masha Allah this man has knowledge. And this a Revert talking to us born Muslims of 100s of years of Islamic ancestry. We need to go back to Quran and Sunnah and not follow these youtube Muslim celebs.
May Allah bless you brother Saajid. I agree with a lot of your points. However I disagree with some one or two.
First, I don’t think any sister should go into marriage with divorce in mind.
Secondly, nothing is wrong with preferring a young woman who’s never married.
Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) said that Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said to me, ‘Jabir, have you got married?’
I said, ‘Yes.’
He asked, ‘A virgin or one previously married?’
I said, ‘One who was previously married.’
He said, ‘Why didn’t you marry a young girl who you could play around with and who could play around with you?’
I said, ‘I actually have a number of [young] sisters so I wanted to marry a woman who could look after them, comb their hair, and run their affairs.’ (Muslim)
Finally, it would have been nice to explain how to obtain a career whilst being open to marriage in their prime. Also, what sort of education set up.
You might not realised it. It sounds like sisters reason for delaying marriage is justified- have a career first irrespective of your age. Prepare for divorce.
Like I said, I agree with most of your comments but I just disagree with some. Also, Redpill brothers need education.
May Allah bless you and reward you for your efforts and rectify us all.
Do you have children brother? I have 4 and 3 are female. If you do have children as a parent it is wise to think “what will my daughter do if she needs to divorce for a valid reason . I may be dead so unable to support her financially?
So women are wise to think about this
Thinking about the worst case scenario is not the same as entering the marriage with second thoughts.
The former is self-protection in preparation of possible uncertainty, while the latter is closer to mistrust.
Please help my sister wants to get married but men's family demand lots of money in gold as a 'gift' and we have no options. Nobody wants to marry us because we don't have as much.
how come the Muslim community is following our Prophet pbuh on every matter but what marriage expectations are concerned, they do not follow our Prophet`s footsteps at all? they are following their culture and their own desires such as marrying women who are untouched and young. Who did our Prophet Mohammad have as his first wife? And how many Muslim men are there, that would do the same? I haven`t found an answer to that as of yet. As long as there are red pill muslim men out there, i want to delay my marriage, further support myself in my career and concentrate to being a better Muslim woman. Allah swt did not create us to get married but He created us to worship Him. Not everything in life has to have marriage as the endgoal.
Good. Keep delaying marriage until death. You'll save the life of a brother of mine
Wmn like you don't deserve a loving, rightous husband.
So while our traditional, rightous sisters are married and under the love,care and protection of a mn. You'll can seethe and complain about mn in your singlehood.
Also, consider the following hadith.
Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah:
When I got married, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?'
حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَارِبٌ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ جَابِرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، رضى الله عنهما يَقُولُ تَزَوَّجْتُ فَقَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " مَا تَزَوَّجْتَ ". فَقُلْتُ تَزَوَّجْتُ ثَيِّبًا. فَقَالَ " مَا لَكَ وَلِلْعَذَارَى وَلِعَابِهَا ". فَذَكَرْتُ ذَلِكَ لِعَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ فَقَالَ عَمْرٌو سَمِعْتُ جَابِرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ يَقُولُ قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " هَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ".
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5080In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith 18USC-MSA web (English) reference : Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 17
Finally someone speaks sense.
You're on point brother Sajid. May Allah protect and guide you
Feminism rised because of abusive men and misusing of husband's rights...its wrong to blame feminism untill men dont introspect.
Not true
Wmn brainwashed by f'em'i'n'ism will never be satisfied with mn. They want other wmn as wives. 🤢
Not so true then why atheism, liberalism, lgbtq+ etc raise.. Is that also coz of men🤦🏻♂️
Man you just always have the most reasonable takes
Barak Allahu feek! The best take on the red pill so far imo. Saying it as it is.
Nope.
This was okay but Far from best
This was terrible and pandering to one side of the spectrum instead of addressing the issue as a whole. Disappointing from Saajid
Thank You!!! This is ABSOLUTELY true!
The latest "discussion" about marriage by Ali Dawah has definitely scared me and my friends of marriage rather than encouraged any of us to go on with it. So, definitely the negative effects of that so called red pill movement have reached us.
And has this video brought you closer to marriage?
@@alphauno6614 Yes, it did. How about you?
@@IYasmineI The video was educational. I want to learn more about the Islamic marriage system but because I don’t base my decision to do something on emotions, neither this video, nor Ali’s or other 💊 nor Fem videos really affect my decision. The most they do is open my eyes.
@@alphauno6614 However, for the newbies or the on lookers, a video like Ali's could do a lot damage spreading such none-Islamic views as Islamic. On the other hand, this one gives the right perspective from which Islam is looking at marriage. Thus, I prefer videos like this one. It's not based on emotions, but on which one is a real application to the Islamic guidelines.
@@IYasmineI Ali’s Bitter Truth videos were very 💊, they were also unsure of what Islam says on certain topics and on top of that they were very confrontational pitting men against women. Having said that, they did kick start a discussion out of which this video was born so it ended up being somewhat beneficial.
I wouldn’t necessarily call this video having the “right” perspective but rather I’d say it’s more balanced. Telling women they need to get educated just in case of divorce is exactly the “empowered and independent” talking points which we have seen via the divorce statistics, how they’ve accelerated divorce and family breakdown rather than improved it. Telling Muslim women to be this way won’t help anyone.
For me, I watch across the spectrum so I can learn all perspectives. This video was nice but it is filled with opinions just like the other videos so I will take it with a grain of salt.
May Allah guide us all to the righteous path.
Tbh saying woman age like milk is just disgusting i dont have any issues with a working but its a hard thing to marry a sister who work all time like if we are both tired all the time who is gonna take care of the house/children
completely disagree with you , women should get married while continuing her studies
Well put brother Sajid, this was a good eye opener. Jazakallahukhairan
I’m not delaying, I’m still waiting my other half
Alhamdulillah!
May Allah grant you a rightous, loving husband!
@@Therebelliousprince001 Aamiin allahuma Aamiin, jazaakallah khair
@@Therebelliousprince001 أمين يا الله