How to Process Anger and How to Set Your Personal Boundaries - Synchronization Workshop
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
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Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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“Anger is where your boundaries exist.” -Teal Swan
Part of the problem when you've bypassed anger all your life - meaning you never learned how to healthily express anger - is the fear that if you let any part of it out it will all come out in some kind of massive explosion and you won't be able to rein it in. You'll lose control completely and become your angry father, or my raging mother, or just some monster no one wants to be around. You can picture that monster pretty clearly because it lives inside of you and it scares the heck out of you. My experience anyway. The key thing for me was to find someone who wasn't afraid of anger and understood it as a healthy emotion. Someone I could trust completely. If you can start experimenting with letting out your anger with this person, you can create these awesome "corrective experiences" I think they call it, where you express your anger and guess what! The world doesn't fall apart! This person still loves you! Until you can have that kind of experience it's really tough to confront your anger and learn to love it, and hear what it has to tell you.
Yes! I have regrettably shown my anger to people who shamed me for it and I allowed myself to take on their fears.
There never was anything I could do ever anyways
Why not just lose it somewhere safe? Like write things or punch pillows or scream? In a safe way?
incredibly insightful and intuitive self realization.. thx for this
Thank you ! This post really helps
This was great! Getting in touch with my anger i felt, that this angry part of me is super protective of me. And seeing that a part of me would be willing to fight so strongly for me for all the shitty things people have done or will do to me, actually made me feel a lot of love for my angry self. There are parts in me, that feel safe thanks to my angry self. Super cool discovery! Thank you for this! I have an angry warrior in me!
Katariina Aule This is so profound and shows great insight into yourself. Thanks for sharing and best wishes for your continued growth.
Thanks for sharing this, totally helped me release some resistance to my anger and helped me see anger in a completely new light!
it is hard to go there because i dont want to hurt anyone. help?
Wow, beautifully said. Thank you!
This is so beautiful .. thank you for sharing this .. I hope you find peace and love ..
I love the delicacy of this practice. Teal’s intuitive sense to stop pushing was itself an act of honor and respect to Lyn’s boundaries and anger. Beautiful work. Well done.
Wow, when she said "take machetes to everything and watch it bleed", I was so surprised because getting in touch with my angry self I found I have very similar feelings and thoughts and I either always disowned these feelings as bad or wrong, or told myself that they are untrue. And I felt so weird and alone in the way that I think, but hearing her say that her anger is expressing itself in the same way really helped me feel less isolated. Thank you Teal
"Without dealing with the resistance (to the emotion) first, we're never going to get to the emotion."
That is gold. This was such a powerful part of the workshop. It's helped me a lot. Thank you for sharing it, Teal.
And the concluding part was so refreshing to listen to.
"Even though we tried to get down to the angry self we couldn't do it, because that's how strong your resistance is to anger. You've got to deal with the resistance first.
That's all we really did.
We didn't even get down to the anger.
We started to deal with the resistance (to the anger).
And part of how a dealt with her resistance is to say: "It's ok ; it's a choice to be angry."
That's a boundary, she didn't get, for she can't access anger if she was never allowed to have boundaries."
"I feel like I'm not allowed to get angry unless there's like a massive trigger and then I need the super validation."
"Without dealing with the resistance (to the emotion) first, we're never going to get to the emotion. Makes sense?"
That just blew my mind how much I can relate to this young lady Lynn. I have wondered if there was something wrong with me when I allow myself to wallow in angry fantasies of what I could allow myself to do to people. I can understand why she wouldn't want to publicly express this. Thank you for this.
Honestly this is probably one of the most transformative videos for me personally I’ve watched. Thank you so much.
I have serious issues with anger in that it's hard to admit to being angry. I think I was inadvertently conditioned to think that even feeling angry was wrong, not just engaging in angry actions.
it is hard to go there because i dont want to hurt anyone. help?
When they both tried to reach anger I even felt it in myself and her just explaining she could tear things apart and explode is literally how anger is within myself. I feel like if I were to ever release it it would definitely show people a side of me that looks like a monster and that’s what I’m terrified of. I have a side that feels like protection that holds back my anger tho
I just came face to face with my own anger in a new way today and immediately, after searching myself and trying to really Feel all my emotions, I came to your channel, feeling confident that you would have something to help me get un-stuck.
After years and years of introspection, I only recently became aware of how large a component anger is to my current state of being. It was always masquerading as anxiety or depression, and you helped me define why: powerlessness. I was taught powerlessness from birth, kept powerless, brought up in a religion that preaches powerlessness.
Slowly but surely I've been making progress...this anger thing is turning out to be much closer to the root of my problems than I ever anticipated.
Bless you Teal, and Lynn (that's my mom's name and the synchronicity is amusing), you helped me a lot! Lynn, I don't know if I'm spelling your name right...anyway...It sounded just like me talking. I feel your pain.
You allowing her to step into her anger is so beautiful. I love this content. I wasn't taught how to express anger in a healthy way. I was put in a corner. Now, so many people tell me my anger isn't just, control it, whatever. But...this is everything. What you say, what you express, it's how to heal it. So many avoid it. Avoidance is dismal which invalidates and causes more anger. I love this! Thank you for this video and the energy you put into this. So healing. Sending you love
Got way too excited because I wasn't expecting a weekday upload. 😅 This is awesome!
Teal typically uploads on Saturday
2 people questioning why you should get excited? Interesting. What was the video about, allowing emotion. Including the questioning and exciting side. As no response is invalid.
Sarah's Vegan Kitchen yay you
Real talk.. you do a good job people need someone to talk to.
You have a fierce will and a really good path to share.
You definitely know how to turn a negative into a positive or at least a workable..
You exude kindness and patience
Good job with your works. Much success to you.
breathing is really important for 'going into emotions'. you taught me that in your 'completion process'. i noticed she wasn't necessarily engaged in short more rapid breathes. that helped me go into my anger as i processed with you both during this episode.
as always, thanks for sharing,
It would have been so empowering for her if she could have told teal she didnt want to get into the reasons why she was so angry but setting clear boundaries comes in time. I am grateful to have had a spiritual counsellor just like what teal did here in this video. They are the real healers because they also teach you how to apply this in everyday life without even knowing you are being taught. Far and few in between
I’ve developed a back problem in the last few years and oh boy... i really do feel how anger gushes through my body now. When i get really angry it’s almost as if acid is being poured on my spine, but in an upward movement, almost making my head pop out of its place. At first i tried avoiding situations that would make me angry at all costs, but i soon realized it only made it worse. Because it meant i was holding everything in until i just couldn’t take it anymore and exploded. It’s much simpler to deal with it as it first starts to build, than to let it become this gigantic murderous monster. But when i do get super angry i go into my yard and yank all the shrubs that shouldn’t be there and cut down all tree branches that are starting to creep into the fence, it feels fantastic. I end up having a very peaceful night everytime, works wonders
Teal's a genius
Watching this after being so f*cking angry at some people and expressing my boundary for the second time.
Afterwards I was feeling so guilty and “wrong” and sad. I just felt it and reminded myself I’m still here.
Definitely gave me childhood and teenage vibes, beautiful, fiery, alive ❤️🔥
Great way to visually show the part of where the resistance is. It was her "its not okay" to allow herself to show this aspect of herself. Very helpful.
If my psychologist told me to be present with my anger I would fear for their safety......
Stellar Fervour I don’t blame you
You have a bad therapist!
That’s why there are hardly any anger camps in the world, because anger is too bottled up in humans. We prefer humans to die than to go into their bottled up rage. 😅
Meann Karoline Rieger we do need anger camps. Imagine an island where you can scream and break things. Id be in heaven
Same
Kept seeing this on my recommendations so I finally clicked on it and this hit my issues right on the head!!! loved this! Thanks Teal!
Teal this video is so good, I repress a lot of anger and need to stop resisting it! Thank u.
Lynn is awesome. I always understand her point of view so well. Thank you.
by creating ..art...exercising treated myself, &knowing bullies are not worth your energy..that's how I flow..good video merry Xmas.
Teal the universe is using you and you are a bright light never forget you are a shooting star aimed so high maybe others are far away but we can only adore the things you've done admire your walk and the trail you leave in your wake is like stardust it's beautiful you are becoming so benign I aspire to be like you and be happier bc of your example. You are inspiring and a personal hero. I wish you great helpers. And more awareness always to be able to realize your full potential. You are so valuable. I love you.
This is awesome! Please come to Atlanta, Georgia, Teal! You’ve got such great techniques and intuition. I would love to see you live. Thank you for all the content on RUclips!
Great Parts Therapy!! Thanks Teal and friend for demonstrating!!
When constantly triggered to deal with my anger I’ ve never felt like bloodshed or being violent but rather i felt like screaming respect my boundaries that haven’t been respected for so long.
Lady you're awesome from the start you taught me a lot that's crazy
Thanks for publishing this for free 🙏
This is so incredible ! Thank You for all these amazing resources. This video and the other ones on anger have really helped me face this particular emotion that I have resisted, suppressed and denied my whole Life. I denied it for so long, I started to believe I didn't have the ability to feel anger at all ! I was wrong...very wrong 🔥
I never knew that it wasn't a "bad" emotion and that I'm not a "bad person" for feeling it. That anger is actually telling me something.
When You said "Without anger You have no boundaries. You cannot live Your personal truth without access to anger. It shows You the way. Without anger, You are just a doormat." I cried as I saw my pattern of feeling powerless and denying my anger as people treated me as a doormat...coming from a childhood where anger = abandonment. So the maladaptive answer has been to suppress so I won't be left alone. Now it feels like I've been cutting off my own limbs just so people will accept me. Its no way to live. Its a painful half-life. Inauthenticity kills the soul life. I'm ready for a different way.
To realise anger is a way through and up into better feeling states brings so much relief. I was feeling trapped between a state of powerlessness and my own resistance to my anger...a rock and a hard place. So, have felt like I could never move upward or upward from it. PHEW. This feels like the answer! THANK YOU
Thank You for helping us to learn to validate how we feel. This work You and Your team do is invaluable, now more than ever.
x
Good job Lynn! Inner child work 👏🏻
Thankx so much Teal!!! All my life i resisted anger & even all those people who got angry at me!!! Today first time i expressed my anger when someone cross the boundary & after watching ur video i realised m learning to be vurneable!!!
This is so incredibly helpful!! Thank you for your wisdom ❤️❤️❤️
Teal, I really love your staff members
This was brilliant in its simplicity
Damn smart you are, Teal! Thank you for always thinking. Truly.
YEEEEES I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS
Fabulous...I will do this with love because that is my problem.
Wow I felt the exact same way she did and my response verbally and emotionally were identical, thank you
It feels easier to accept sadness within myself than my anger.... this video is amazing 💕
Yes!! This! This is what I needed! Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I think it's by allowing yourself to experience your grief with compassion, that anger then naturally comes to the surface. It wasn't until I truly allowed myself to feel my pain that an instinctive part of me bubbled up that felt the need to protect myself... and it was only after this process that I was able to feel anger. The need to protect yourself is a boundary and you can't erect that boundary until you bear witness to your own suffering with compassion.
Very powerful! U related to the lady very much. Never knew it as resistance per se so this was very helpful. Thank you and blessings to you!
Anger as ,any emotion, is my body's way of getting my attention to assess my situation to take an action or not depending on the situation. Growing up on The Farm Commune we all agreed to pay attention to Anger and before the anger would grow, we agreed to work it out with each other and come to a better agreement based on Peace. Isn't it sad that so many are this detached from their emotional body? Emotions which become repressed become violence towards self or others. And actually causes Cancer. Dance it out if necessary or go off in your bathroom or take a walk in nature and scream. We are in so much danger with so much repressed emotion especially in a world at War for 15 + years. And yes Anger is the cover up of many unmet needs. Love is a verb. Sadness and Grief are so natural in an unnatural World.
Just Watching this I had a 💭 💡 go off. Thank you for this came right on time .
Many years ago when I studied trans-personal breath work and emotional release counselling we called the technique demonstrated here Voice Dialogue. Very effective.
16:44 Teal is like "Ok time to emotionally destroy her into wanting to kill me thus validating her anger so that we can bypass her resistance to it" and then giggling at the possibilities of things she could say. That's what I imagine anyway xD
I got the same thing when I saw that part lol 😂😂😂
Thank you so much Lynn for sharing! Teal is brilliant as always
Incase anyone needs this, I have found to validate my immense rage I am uncovering from childhood abuse and emotional neglect, watching people who have PURE anger energy has been medicine for me. We are One so even people like Andrew Tate are a reflection of all of us, and I have found HIS ANGER is a medicine I needed to hear. Not saying I agree with everything he says, but he has some powerful anger , let me tell you. Seriously if you watch him let yourself get triggered at first if you need to and then recognize that same anger level in yourself. It really really really helps me and so Ive integrated my own inner Andrew Tate or I am 😂❤
See teal is all about love and acceptance.
Great lesson, thank you so much Teal, grateful 🙌 .. Just felt sorry for the girl, it's a painful thie , especially if gone through trumas in the past, i honor her boundaries too,... it's same with me and i guess many of us, we resist anger because we can bare the consequences. 🙏🌿💚💯
More videos on anger teal please. As you correctly identify many people feel powerless, and so many people get angry about people talking about anger (obviously) so it might be difficult to do videos, I understand that, as you'll make people angry lol. But they are very valuable too to many of us. Thank you deeply thank you.
You did really well Lynn (hope I spelled your name right). That took courage and guts.
this was v powerful n healing for me, i needed it. i am so grateful for her willingness to be vulnerable like that. i followed along n almost matched her step by step, but i did get to experience some anger n say what id love to have done XD
The part of me that doesn't want to be abandoned is the one that has the most resistant to anger, and also the one that is most angry
This was great!!!! Thank you Teal! I look forward to your next upload!
Love these kinds of videos!
4:33 "this is not okay and it still happened" ❤
Dude huge synchro
Denise Carbuccia i saw you watch ralph smart also, maybe you wil like 'actualized' on youtube also.
Knowledge Is Knowledge I will actualized on RUclips? Sorry I misunderstood
Teal and her friend... very good in this! Really is quite amusing.
You're both so beautiful, and I loved this process :) More demonstrations like this would be fantastic!
IT’S THE SHEAF, MY FAVORITE FREQUENCY!!! Who else here loooooooves the Sheaf 🥰🥰🥰
So good!
I see why you uploaded this on a whim very nice
This was a great exercise. Thank you :)
This is just sooooo good
I was in a door mat position and expected they going to stop walking on me one day, but instead to express my true which includes anger, I've withdrawn my self out of these relationships, I didn't wanted to do for someone the things to be done to my self, it's hurts...
Thank you Teal _/|\_
This was really really helpful
Love and all my hugs to Lynn. I understand sweetie
Thank you for this ❤
Letting go of the past has been a struggle for me. I get bouts of existential rage and feel helpless because it feels locked into my energy system. On the upside I let go easily when I feel someone who can connect to me deeply enough.
This was crazy even tho I didn't do the exercise hearing Lyn verbalize certain things resonated with me. For e.g. when Teal said "this is a safe place to be angry" but Lyn said "she still doesn't believe because of 'X' reasons". I could've finished that sentence before she even said it. Also hearing Teal say anger is a boundary that's not o.k. with something that happened to me brought some kind of relief, because now I'm able to understand why I feel the Rage that I do. Also scared of doing the exercise cause of scared of my own Rage! Awesome video thank you for this.
so Grateful for you Ladies!
Thank you! Loved it you guys are awesome! Thank you♡
This is so good thank you for sharing this
Teal is like the dark version of my therapist. They both do the same thing but in different ways. Except you have to earn trust and the feeling of being in a safe space. You can't just coherse people into feeling safe. Even if you do make logical sense. There is an element of judgement here. Teal seems annoyed even. Which is fine but it doesn't create a real safe space. What she says makes sense but seems very misaligned with everything else in this video. Am I the only one who can see this? Whatever, Teal is still very helpful and extremely intelligent. I love her for that. Just feeling thankful for my therapist who truly gives me a safe space and challenges my thoughts as an equal. Challenging someone's thoughts while providing them with a safe space is an art. I've been in therapy for 15 years. I have only recently in the last 2 years have found a therapist that I feel like knows what she's doing. But she definitely doesn't explain herself the way teal does. I think that some people might feel safe with teal because she appeals more to people who need to understand more of why things work and teal has a lot of information!
What you were seeing was teal trying to piss her off by pretending to be annoyed, a technique she tries subtly to trigger the anger
buying myself gifts..all this is powerful&can I just say I think your a great person so keep up the good work cuz your videos are very helpful,:)
I really needed to watch this one.
Teal, lately youtube started recommend me different videos of yours about anger. First I brushed it away but it became too intense in my eyes, so I started watching them all.
Now it makes total sense why I had to watch it, as I became aware of the problem between me and my dad that for quite some time I am preparing mentally and emotionally to approach it to get avresolution after a long period of stone walling.
And yet it is hard for me to agree with an idea that this video suggests that in order for a person to stop being angry, I must submit and satisfy his needs.
When a person is traumatized and does nothing to heal, then whatever I do - it will trigger those wounds.
I feel that I cant be authentic in my dad's presence.
Is there any solution other than respecting his trauma protective boundaries, sonhe can feel happy, while me denying myself?
The situation is that my calling is to channel and speak the truth which at times includes me needing to share my childhood story. And thats what my dad is not ok with. It hurts him. I feel he doesnt take accountability forbhis past actions, rather makes me responsible for his emotional wellbeing.
For now I dont see any otger reason just to go our separate ways...
Question: you mention that anger and action are two separate things-- anger, the emotion, is always acceptable, while some actions (such as killing someone) would be wrong. However, most of my resistance to anger is not the emotion itself, but the actions that arise from it. I don't fear that feeling anger makes me a bad person, I fear that yelling and screaming in anger makes me a bad person. How should I deal with my resistance to the *actions* which arise from anger?
Thankyou for being so brave Lynn wow..
So much love for you Teal Swan. You are a beauty!!!!!!!
Brilliant. Thank you.
This really helped me, thank you :)
Thank you both so much for your truth and bravery!!! I could feel the reality behind the work you were doing....thank you
I loved this bcuz i deal with alot of repressing anger. So i can relate thank u
Write it! I think what Teal may be missing in her demonstration here, is that it's important to develop a trusting and patient relationship with the anger when it arises. Not being able to feel angry is just one of many boundary violations that I personally experienced growing up (narc Dad). Another common boundary violation was being forced to do things I really did not want to do to feel loved. Lyn was being triggered into powerlessness most likely because there is a painful trauma having to do with being forced to do something, maybe in front of other people, that she didn't really want to do. I can't imagine the pressure of a very young part of myself knowing thousands of people will be viewing my anger coming to the surface. In the comfort of her own, unconditionally patient company, she should journal her anger; let the voice of anger write. Mine can be vitriol, oozing vengeful indignation. I let it roll, no matter what it's expressing. As I became more comfortable with this process, I was able to move on to screaming in my car, and venting it verbally in other areas that still felt safe to me (like an emotional spending nest-egg) After I do this, this aspect of me seems satiated, and I have a moment of release of the powerlessness I feel underneath. I cry, I rock and hug myself, and I try to sooth myself as one would a child. I've found that after this, I have the power to act, and I have the power to speak up for my boundaries, knowing I can survive whatever reaction comes my way after I do. If I can embody the patience for my anger, then I know how to recognize that capacity for patience in other people, and stay close and connected to those people, as well as learn from them.
in ACIM, it is pointed out that there are only two emotions: fear and love. I can understand how anger might be a response to fear.
This has been my core issue i have been dealing with in 2017 !
Also beautiful blonde girl
Yeah I was never allowed to be angry from a very very early age and whenever somebody was angry bad things happened
Very valuable to watch
I feel anger when it's valid (ok every one does) like my mother not informing me about the dentist appointment till last hour & informing my brother about my appointment in front of me when clearly the doctor called her 2 days ago...
sounds like shes a narc..
hulk out girl! you can do it. :)
i wish i could do work with Teal
Thank you Teal
This chick Teal is really cool.
Seeing you work with someone is realy usefull
It's a great exercise. I'm going to try. I know what mijn resistance are. I always heard that It was bad to feel it because, "like my father", I would take bad actions. So I feel it, and it find no way out. Even if it should sometimes with some people who don't care to be brutal. I find other way to avoid these people because the shame to feel anger is always present.