Was I Wrong For My Interview?
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- Опубликовано: 6 дек 2023
- Hello Everyone!
Yes yes, I know the title implies a structured video but it’s just another rant video. I didn’t know what else to call this 😅
As you can see, I was really upset when filming this and I had no intentions of even making a video. But I had a lot that I had to say, and I’m still working on being able to handle confrontations so that I can proudly say this in person. I tend to get so overwhelmed with emotions that I can’t say what I want to say, and it doesn’t help that my family can trigger me unknowingly.
Regardless, I just don’t want to feel bad anymore. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of it. It’s exhausting and it makes it hard to find any joy sometimes. I’m lucky that I currently have the support system that I do, as I wouldn’t know how to healthy handle all these feelings. Like I said in the video, everyday we choose to be better. If we fail today, tomorrow is an opportunity to improve. I’m going to become someone that practices what they preach, just you watch 😤 Once I get a handle on this mental health ITS OVER FOR YOU BITCHES!!!!!
Lol, but seriously, all I can do is push forward, right?
As always, love you all and thank you so much for you support. It truly means a lot. 🥺🤍
Ya it’s not my mom’s fault but in a lot of ways she could have helped me.
I just noticed I’m wearing the same hoodie three videos in a row……we’re not going to talk about it. Look, new edits!!
You were not wrong for your interview. Although I haven't been officially diagnosed, nor have I posted anything on my experience with past trauma, I have experienced similar actions from my family. While I am an older man, your interview was eye-opening for me. It was great to hear Carlos' perspective. You rock. Family relationships are important, but not at the risk of affecting your mental health. They can pound sand and kick rocks until they move out of the funk they're breathing. I will be sharing your interview with my wife to give her a glimpse of what I deal with. Thank you for your straightforwardness and thanks to Carlos as well. Be well and be blessed! 🤓 🙏 🙌
Thank you so much for you comment and taking the time to leave one!! Families are tough, but I’m grateful for them nevertheless. I hope with time both our families can come around. I hope your wife is able to get a better understanding of what you go through!! Carlos has truly helped in me in so many ways, so I hope his outside perspective will help. I wish you all the best with your family and in your journey 😤❤️❤️
I have a similar psychological makeup like you, maybe Im a bit older but I am really starting to internalise that society is actually a really really cold place, and everyone is scared. When you said around 6:50 that you dont want to live like that, I believe you actually want to live a deeper life. You find meaning in things, but the main problem is the people dont have an ability to understand, to think, to talk, to listen...
And you cant really share anything. When you cant share anything all those ugly feelings from the past start creeping up, and you start feeling attacked and lonely. What I realised is that you need to have your "tribe", people that are really close to you where you can express yourself. Because society constantly suppresses ourselves, but some people cant live like that. We are one of those people.
You said it perfectly, a tribe is EXACTLY what I’m looking for. It’s so easy to look around and see how ugly the world is, that we miss out on what makes it beautiful in the first place. The ability to connect with others is something I’ll always be grateful for. It’s what makes the world a little bit warmer
Thanks for your videos! you are so courageous and those of us going thru it, appreciate you
Thank you for your words!! I’m wishing you all the best in your struggles, you got this!! 😤
No you aren’t wrong for your interview
Hello. I watched a while ago a small part of your interview on SBSK. Well..do people know how to truly love others? What true love is?To truly, unselfishly, courageously and compassionately care? In the interview i saw (at my opinion) a woman (you) who has a spirit of clarity, bravery, purity, innocence, compassion, joyfulness (despite your "struggles" ). So , whoever criticize you negatively ,i think, he / she is unfair towards to you, the least. My opinion, i might i am wrong. And allow me to add that if we are going to talk about "disabilities", "issues", "illnesses", etc, be inhumane and uncompassionate -among others- are those "disabilities " that should be "addressed" and "cured" / "improved" . Either someone can give/ share true love to others either not. And the value of someone is how much strength and quality (sensitivity) and compassion has his/hel feelings. My opinion. Thanks
Thank you for your words! To answer your question, I don’t think most people truly know how to love one another, let alone themselves. True love is incredibly difficult and requires so much from each party. Sometimes, I feel like my mental illness limits me to a certain extent due to how distrustful I am of others. I’ve been wronged so many times, I didn’t want to believe there was any good out there. In addition, once I found true love, I didn’t recognize it. It was such a foreign concept, I had to unlearn and relearn what it means to be true to yourself and to others. And in my 27 years of life, I’ve only met about 3 people who’ve shown me unconditional love and acceptance. My hope is for others to be kind and to allow room for love. Easier said than done, but it’s possible!! Again, thank you so much for your comment, I think you were spot on with your opinions! Have a great week ☺️🤍
Have you tried the unbrush ?
What’s that??
Totally unfair. This dynamic has something to do with scapegoating, I notice myself and many of my friends are the scapegoat of the family. I'm not in contact with my family because they were drunk and attacked me that I'm a drug addict: because I've talked openly about psychedelics and weed and how it has helped me to over come my alcoholic narcissist father's abuse (I have cptsd from that also, that's why I'm following you in youtube). I'm the only one who has done any real self-development and looking to the roots for the suffering and the dysfunction of our family system and I'm the one who is "a drug addict". I have not been in contact with them in 3 years now. It is the scapegoat dynamic: someone tries to be a real authentic transformational human being and that is the one who will be pushed away and rejected. They are not ready to see. Even if there is heartbreak, I know and you know, that we are doing the right thing. And we are amazing. Much strenght to you, sister!
I’m so sorry that your family used your substance use to justify whatever mental gymnastics they created in their head. It’s a very despicable and low bar, and it’s worse when it’s from people who should be having your back. While I’m glad you’re away from them for now, I hope with time they realize how far they’ve pushed you and want to make up for it. I know it’s naive to have that hope, but I think that’s what makes us able to work on ourselves. Like you said, our family isn’t ready yet to start their journey, but maybe one day that’ll happen. For now, they can find something else to be their scapegoat, cuz we won’t be that NO MORE! 😤 All the best to you and I hope you’re able to have all the time you need to heal ❤️❤️