Quick Recap: What’s My Story?
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Hello Everyone!
I’m sorry for how quickly this was done and it’s disorganization. The guilt that built up from not making a video was just eating me alive and I just HAD to film SOMETHING! I’ve decided to just wing things and film whenever I can. I’m always waiting for the perfect moment and to say the perfect things. But that’s just not going to happen and in the end, the days just go by.
Thank you all for your patience with me as I figure out my life. I hope you all can continue to join me, and I truly promise this time to keep up with my videos. I wish you all an amazing day 🤍
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Hey Yasmin, I found you through your SBSK interview, and just wanted to show my support and wish you the best of luck on your journey. Hopefully finding that balance comes easy to you( I know what its like to struggle with goals too).
Thank you so much for your support!! And yes, I know with time and practice that balance will slowly come. For now, I just have to get through the challenges and hold myself accountable!
My big CPTSD realisation came four months ago after a huge breakup (still crying 😢). After about 30 years of my life wondering why I am the way I am at the same time denying all my childhood traumas had anything to do with it since I didn’t want to be labeled ‘the troubled kid’ and being seen as a victim. Now I realise that it’s better to be honest about your wounds rather than denying them but at the same time hurting others around you
Gosh, I felt this so hard!! Sorry for taking so long to respond by the way! I apologize 😞 But I completely understand how you feel. I feel a lot of guilt knowing that I can be someone that’s immature and irresponsible. Someone that acts out of anger, and isn’t as kind as I say I am. I hated being viewed as a victim, yet acted like one in every way. When the mirror is held up to my face I get defensive. It’s so hard to be honest and admit and accept who I am. But as you said, progress can only be made once we accept who we are and learn to love that person. Breaksup are always hard, I hope you are able to find happiness within yourself!! With time you’ll be able to look back, and at least not feel like crying
You just taught me something so valuable to me to my life
i can relate sm to u thank you for sharing ur story
Your story resonates with me so much-I’m happy that you discovered all this in your teens. After so many failed relationships and decades of feeling so disconnected and different from the rest of the world I am beginning to understand what is up with me. I struggled with depression most of my life and even during periods where I came out of my shell I still felt different and lacking strong foundation. CPTSD is … &$#%*!!!
Kuddos for you for putting in the work to heal!! As you said, this shit SUCKS! But no matter when you started, all that matters that you took the steps forward. You got this 😤😤 And now your experience will help others break their own cycles earlier. I’m so happy to hear you’ve come out of your shell 🥺 Wishing you all the very best in your healing 🤍
You're a very sweet person. God bless you ♥
Big hugs! No need to feel guilt. Be most gentle with yourself. Share when and what you can & release the shame. This video was IT.
Thank you for making this video, needed to hear this. I relate so much!
Pleasant surprise. Somewhat bittersweet tho. I always love seeing folks from Naija pushing forward however they can. Earned a sub from me fr. I hope you cut yourself some slack plz. My favorite yt content creators have teams of paid staff/employees and they still describe yt as a grinding job that they frequently burnout on. You're trying to do this, 2 jobs and study...so you really have 4 jobs.
Wow, this is something I needed to hear. Thank you so much for your kindness. I’ll definitely try my best to give myself a breather. Whenever I can’t, I’ll be looking out for your comment! Wishing you the best 🤍
Hi Yasmin. Here we go.
I today watched your video with Chris and today at the age of 35 recognise what I have is cptsd. However I want to offer some advice about the getting up at 6am and life in gear stuff..
I did the same thing - I'm still trying to understand dissociation. From the beginning - for me it wasn't SA, my mother was extremely violent with me. All the time. At 7 I had to be rushed to hospital because I had blood down my face from having it slammed against a dresser for taking too long to get ready. Etc.
At 18 going to uni I was obsessed with the boys I hung out with and created a version of myself. I daydreamed constantly about them & the things I was going to say...
Anyway. around your age I started seeing a therapist. I just wanted to deal with what you're dealing with. That Monday when I'll start waking up at dawn etc. She started talking to me about my mum but I found it too difficult and asked her if we could focus on just the day to day. I wanted to do an amazing job at work. We analysed my relationship with my boss and what I constantly referred to as my laziness and she'd correct me every time.
Basically I spent my 20s trying to become perfect. Now I'm me. I am productive at a level I couldn't dream of before. But it took two years of working with my therapist to dismantle every false belief I had after false belief. Also what was necessary for me and what wasn't. Including false beliefs I had of what my boss or others thought of me Vs my own. I saw her for two years and since have been working on myself on my own. It's possible to go from feeling like a such a mess and a doormat to knowing you have everything covered. I'm 35 and yeeaars after therapy only a few weeks ago I recognised my mother wasn't the victim, I was. As you said in you cptsd video you put others before you. I'm 35 and starting to take control over my emotional self and life. It's so much.
You're lucky you have good skin and didn't have an ED to also deal with above everything so you can imagine the height of my self loathing. It's unfair because it feels like others get to be alive while I have to keep dropping and picking up tools and still feeling like my toolkit isn't as full as others'. Unfortunately (or fortunately) this does mean I have to restart relationships. I'm evolving and therefore have had to dump every friend who's used to the old me which is all of them. I don't know if I'll start making friends soon or not. Like you I'm bubbly and fun and people attract to me a lot and then I become obsessed with their attention. So I want to heal that first. Before I can have other people in my life again.
You're absolutely lovely and an inspiration. You'll be all right. I promise. ❤
This is amazing to hear!! First, I’ve gotta give you credit for the amazing work you’ve done! You did that!!! Second, this gives me a lot of hope.
I know that time and therapy will heal most of my worries. And I know I have the capabilities to achieve my dreams. I KNOW this to my core!! I just posted a video talking about this, but for me, motivation is just so hard.
I feel like you completely understand my 20s currently. Everything you described was/is me. I’m lucky that I was able to start self healing early, as I’m not sure if I would be the same person I am today if I didn’t.
I also hate to say that I personally thing I have an ED. This is purely speculative, but I’m someone that doesn’t eat. My first therapist explained my laziness as just having lack of energy. When you don’t sleep and don’t eat, why would you have the energy to even get up and shower? Couple that with depression, and it’s just a cycle that’ll eat you alive eventually.
In my video, I talk about how I’m ready to start changing. I’m just done of beating myself up every single day. I want my brightness to be an ever present thing, not just a coping mechanism. I want to be true to myself and show who I am. I’m terrified, but it’s necessary. I can’t grow if I can’t be myself. Aahh I’m rambling but last point: there’s a deep seed in me that doesn’t believe I’m a good person. So, I hide. I shape and contort to be the person I present. But, I’ve come to accept not being a good person doesn’t equate to being a bad one. I’m human, and regardless, my truth is valid. I’m preaching to myself right now, but it’s something I have to remind myself.
ANYWAYS thank you SO MUCH for your comment!! It truly came at the right time. Wishing you all the best in your journey, have a wonderful week 🤍🤍🤍
I am like you a lot. I’m 53. I have PTSD, anxiety, and Inattentive Attention Deficit Disorder.
You got it girl. Thanks for the video ❤
Thanks for watching!😩🤍
You got some butt kicking content on your channel
Thank you always for your words 🥺
yasmin, how do you manage to do 2 jobs and study full time??
by barely sleeping 😭 I’m lucky that my study is something I’m genuinely interested in, so studying actually interests me. If it wasn’t for that, imma be honest, I don’t think I would be able to balance everything
Make videos when you can make videos young woman, just do you.
Thank you so much for your comments!! Your encouragement is much appreciated ☺️❤️❤️