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My Parents Sent Me To An Ex-Gay Therapist
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- Опубликовано: 29 мар 2008
- When Jeff Williamson of Denver came out to his parents a year ago they sent him to see a Christian counselor whom they had been referred to through Focus On The Family. Jeff, who knew there's nothing wrong with being gay, researched the ex-gay movement and pro-gay theology before his appointment, during which he determined that would be his last session. Jeff's story is presented as a triumphant model for all too many youth who are sent, by their parents, against their will to ex-gay programs. Jeff would like to add that today, he has never had a better relationship with his parents and they have accepted his sexual orientation, and are extremely supportive of him.
Contact Jeff:
Jeff.T.Williamson (at) gmail . com
Video by Daniel Gonzales:
exgaysurvivordan (at) gmail . com
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Video copyright Daniel Gonzales, all rights reserved.
Jeff , you are an incredibly enlightened guy ! People are who they are , gay or straight . You are a role model for those who have faith and at the same time being the person that you are .
Jeff has to be one of the most outstanding, articulate and inspiring people that you could have possibly included here. I am SO very impressed!!
Jeff, That was so touching! A million kudos for you for standing up for yourself. Love and Acceptance are all we need to merge the lines of differences. Thanks for sharing.
Actually, the study done in 2008 in Sweden at the Karolinska Institute was a brain scan study using MRI and CT scans to compare straight male and female brains to that or gay male and female brains. The study found that gay males had brains that were built nearly identical to straight female brains and the same was true of gay women in relation to that of straight males.
You are an inspirational young man ; I can see you playing a big role in the LGBT movement and maybe one of the unintended consequences of your parents having you 'practice to be a preacher' is your ability to speak cogently and comfortably. And good for your parents. Wish all parents could be like yours and mine.
Three cheers for your parents! Despite their first instincts, their eventual journey towards acceptance of you as you are is a model for all parents of young lgbt people.
Great lesson of acceptance and love. Parents made their best to understand their gay son, but their son made his best to understand his parents, it's barely the case... thank you for telling your story, it helps me to keep combining my sexuality and my faith!
Thank you for the video, Jeff. This is a perfect example of someone coming out to a loved one as a means of saying "Can I trust you?" and having successfully put that trust to the test. You knew you felt secure in who you are and weren't gonna let someone else "break" you to satisfy their terms. Regardless of where you are in relationship with God, any conclusions you come to should be made when you are ready to confront them. Obviously when you made this video, this was not that time and I greatly respect for it.
It's sad that your parents didn't accept you right off.
I went through a similar experience but rather then rather then go to a counselor I left the house and ended up moving in with friends rather then stay in that situation.
I really enjoyed hearing your story. I think you helped a lot of people who have or are going through these situations.
It's fantastic that things worked out for you and your parents.
It is great that you had the backbone to not back down to your therapist!
You are who you are, and don't let anyone say otherwise.
How in the world have I been on RUclips as long as I have and never once encountered this video?! I am dumbfounded at you clear headed confindence, poise and intelligence as a young gay man. I'm in my 40's and I'm still working on myself. Gay Christians are in such desparate need of role models who know who they are, love themselves and know that God loves them. You are an inspiration.
i'm really happy for you. i'm glad that everything worked out and that you remained strong in your beliefs. I am not Christian, but i thoroughly enjoyed hearing of your success. I am glad that you searched deeply into what you believed and remained strong and open-minded even in the face of adversity. I hope you will be a role model to others facing your dilemma.
I'm so glad you didn't try to change who you are, sexual orientation can't be changed and to even try it is dangerous. You're a strong person for telling this story :)
Good for you. I'm glad that you accepted your sexuality and never tried pretending to be straight.
Btw, you're cute. 😊
I just want to say I found your video very moving and I applaud you for having the courage and convictions for coming out and coming to terms with your sexuality. I am delighted your parents have now no problems with you being gay. You're an inspiration to all of us, take care my friend.
I honestly cheered at the end of the video. I'm happy that your parents have learned to accept you, and I'm impressed with the strength of your beliefs.
It is very important to be firm in your beliefs when you visit therapists who have an agenda. They can be very manipulative and can play on your doubts. Always visit an impartial professional, and ask them straight up, don't let them dodge your questions because they can be very good at it.
THANK YOU for making a video about this :)
I've been worried about coming out to my parents, who are very conservative and judgmental as far as relationships go, because of their religion and where they grew up. This makes me feel like it's something I can tackle AND survive :)
Success stories need to be told so those with little hope can grow the courage to be themselves. That was an amazing tale Jeff, reminded me of my coming out story. I am the grandson of a pastor of a baptist church. But oddly enough my mom, the one not related to the pastor by blood, was 100% okay with my coming out, and had suspected it for many years in advance. Thanks for the inspiration again...I think i might use this in my GSA meeting~Hope you don't mind~
Jeff, I really admire that you speak about your attitude and experience so clearly with beauty and dignity. Thanks for sharing, sure lots of people have had benefit from it as you had more than 84000 views. Congratulations! Personally I like to promote love, compassion and wisdom in the world, and it includes that people have the right of freedom to be able to love the ones they want, that we can learn from having relationships, sex with all it's joy and limitations. We can only learn the truth by experiencing life. I hope you continue to be a light in your (Christian) community (I'm these days a follower of the Dalai Lama who is a better Christian than most people in the church). Jeff, I hope you will meet only love and wisdom on your path! My best wishes to everyone who reads this!
thankyou for posting this. The whole ex-gay reorientation programme issue disturbs me mightily.
Wow, great video, I loved it! You are such an intelligent and articulate young man. I teared up when you spoke about your parents finally accepting you as a gay man. I wish I could have seen this video back in my teens when I was struggling with my own homosexuality growing up in the 60s. Your video undoubtedly will help countless other young people come to terms with their homosexuality and accept themselves for who they are. Wonderful story, thank you for sharing it with all of us!!!
That being said, I met the love of my life almost 20 years ago and he's been the best thing to ever happen to me. His family has been wonderful to us and, since we live in Canada, we can even get married if we so choose. As it turns out we do NOT want to get married - after 20 years it seems a bit silly - but I don't feel that we should be told that we CAN'T. Hopefully Prop 8 will not pass in California and things will start to change in the States.
Thanks Jeff!
"Do not judge lest you be judged."
Exactly so no one should ever go to jail. Nothing is wrong people.
He was right you are a bright and articulate young man. Beautifully done Jeff.
What a man! You are a REAL man to me. I salute you....and may your tribe increase!
"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge"
That passage of scripture speaks VOLUMES to this issue. Religion, when it lacks understanding about matters, such as homosexuality, is SWIFT to determine it to be sin. But thank God for people like Jeff, who are willing to go beyond the ignorance, and really learn and do the necessary research about this matter, AND about himself.
a friend of mine was sent to some sort of facility or farm where he was ungayed. or at least they tried to ungay him. he said it was like a deprogramming center. many of his "christian" friends took up a collection to send him there. thankfully he escaped and is very openly gay today. he was really depressed because no one in his family would "accept" him for who he was and is. appreciate your video
wow congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!! it's sad to hear a story like that,but it's good to know everything is ok between you and your parents.
from a straight to a homosexual,i take my hat off
Excellent stuff and very articulate thoughts. Thank you for sharing. Your story had me weep a clouple of tears at your endeavour and final success... BRAVO!!!
Good for you for being who you are!
Thank-you for speaking out.
Kudos to you, you're a shining example of standing up for what is right.
Amazing! I came out in 1986 (yes, I was VERY young, lol) and, in spite of the fact that my parents are not religious, I did not have as positive an outcome as our subject, Jeff. I was very strong in my belief(s) but it was a verfy different time. I chose not to let others - parents, friends - dicate how I lived my life. I kept all of my friends but became estranged from my parents. We didn't have the best relationship before I came out...and I didn't see them for 13 years after.
Excellent video. Wonderful advice. I am glad Jeff knew what he believed and stood up for his beliefs!
Jeff, that took a lot of courage to stand up for yourself the way you did. I don't know if you've realized it or not, but you have helped your parents grow spiritually. The Christ taught love and acceptance regardless of anything else. You have shown great love and have helped others to do the same. Good job. I know your message will help some other young person who might be in the same situation that you found youself in. Thanks for sharing your message.
you're really an inspiration.
you show that you can be gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgenered or support the rights of those and still be faithful to God.
good for you man you're an inspiration - I have a similar conservative Catholic upbringing and this really spoke to me
Nice video, Jeff. I'm happy that your family accepted your sexuality and that you have a wonderful relationship with them.
i am really happy for you. and i am glad that you were smart enough to research this stuff and everything. good luck and God bless.
Great video!!! The suicide rate for gay teens even to this day remains VERY high. If "switching" your sexual orientation was an option then the teens would just "switch" rather than kill themselves.
I am glad that your relationship with your family has healed.
You are a brilliant young man with a great future ahead of you-that is for sure!
Jim from Ohio
Very thoughtful and well-spoken. Congrats to you and your parents.
Yeah, I am thankful that when I came out at the age of 27, 10 years ago, I was met with loving friends and family, especially a devout Mennonite mother, who did not turn her back on me, but showed me unconditional love. I had kept it secret for (at that time), 23 years, and yet did what everyone expected me to be...and it was a lot harder to keep quiet in the 1980's and 1990's, as opposed to now.
Wow - what an intelligent young man. I know you will help a lot of kids with your very brave video...maybe even save a life or two. God bless you!
My parents did the EXACT same thing to my sister. Focus on the Family is a terrible group and has hurt my family so much.
I'm a gay man and I have NEVER heard another gay man blame their parents for themselves!!! "being" homosexual. Now, as for what happened AFTER their parents found out...
YOU ROCK! thanks for your testimony. it was similar to minem strikingly so. and i hope you are using your wits doing something great in this world! go jeff williamson
Gay or not, you have to take charge of your life. No one will put your best interest before theirs. You are alive, live.
In 2015 gay conversion therapy was proven to be consumer fraud in a state court of law. Feb 29, 2016 the Supreme Court sided against the gay conversion therapists.
I am happy too! My partner and I have been together for nearly 20 years! We have had a blast. I think you are who you are and I believe it is from birth. Last year the American Psychological and Psychiatric Associations deemed reparative therapy for homosexuals as unethical. You could lose your license if as a clinician you practiced it. Numerous studies have been done and all proved it did more damage to the person.If you are truly happy then that is great. I am too!
Hello darling, im a gay brasilian girl and i came out a long time ago in that time i was just 15 and as you i had to go to councellor aswell, whatever, im very thankfull for u doing this video and yes, a lot people need to know happy ends.I can see that you are very happy now because you stand your ground with intelligence and knowledge about yourself and your believes, and may God bless you because you worth it! Lot kisses darling! and have a very happy life cause you deserve it, honest.
There is nothing wrong with you! Your bravery is so great! No one should ever think there is something wrong with them for being gay.
Awesome video. I wish my parents felt the same way. I tried to discuss my viewpoints with them, but they just wouldn't hear it.
BUT WHO SAYS THE BIBLE IS RIGHT OR BEING INTERPRETED CORRECTLY?
The MRI is very accurate. The scans showed the right side of the brain in heterosexual men was typically 2% larger than the left. Lesbians showed a similar asymmetry, with the right hand side of the brain 1% larger than the left.
I admire you very much!
Thanks for sharing this video with the world!!!
Wow, that was really great! Thanks for sharing your experiences, your right we need more success stories.!
EX-GAY therapy has been BANNED for 18 and unders in California and IMO every ex-gay therapy centre should be closed.
Very dangerous to mess with the mind. Be yourself .
a moving and touching story. All the best with the rest of your life
I am glad that you made peace in your life. You cannot pray the gay away. I am so glad I didn't have to go through that when I was a teen or any part of my life. I heard this girl last night she said her mom is mormon and drugged her and took her to a place that performed shock therapy on her. They showed her pictures of women and shocked her and then didn't shock her when it was a picture of a man. It lasted for 30 minutes until the mom couldn't take it any more and got her out.
This is SUCH an awesome story. You're very smart.
your experience while valid is unique to your situation.
this is a really inspiring story. thanks for telling it, Jeff!
I think I have an inkling why people don't grasp that: Because they see their sexuality as part of their identity, and because it can be terribly frightening to perceive one's identity as changeable. We want to be the same person tomorrow as we are today, and we want to be SURE that this will be the case, and it can seem extremely frightening to take full responsibility for such emotionally charged issues as our sexuality. So we just claim that it is an unchangeable matter of fact, period.
I absolutely agree with you and I think you're a person that makes it harder to label Conservatives as regressive or backwards. However, I think the real question, every gay/lesbian must answer, is what's right for me? To live alone (suppressing the human desire to couple, being with someone with whom there's no romantic appeal (or with whom a struggle is necessary to find/make one), or being with someone, with whom you share a natural bond. Which gives life more meaning, depends on him/her.
there's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing to fix. i feel for you. i am not gay myself, but i am tired of all the hate being thrown around towards homosexuals.
This is such amazing an amazing story.. I'm so impressed by your courage.
Love the video. It's good to hear this.
This is really inspirational.
Thank you.
Thank you for such a incredible story!
GREAT vid!
EVERY parent and kid alike should see it! :)
what a nice story, your parents sound like decent people.
If my parents forced me to go i would turn them into my ex-parents.
Thanks for the video Jeff, I am may not be gay cause I am transsexual but I find your video useful in talking to my parents.
Thanks for sharing your story. I loved it.
That was a good story. =) I'm glad things worked out for you.
Well, I am hetero so I know I can't really understand how you feel, but it must have been terrible. I am very interested in human sexuality and then homosexuality so I know everything about that and of course I knew about this ex-gay thing and other stuff like this... once you're in that must be a real pain, people sometimes commit suicide after the therapy... that's so disgusting! We're so repressed, thinking that heterosexuality is the only "valid" sexual orientation! You have all my support.
No matter what your sexual preference is, as a Christian, your lifestyle and choices are to be fixed on pursuing holiness. Not being defined nor identified by your sexuality but by Christ alone. It's the same call, for same-sex or heterosexual attraction, to deny yourself and bear your cross.
I just do not understand why so many straights think that we chose our sexual preference and then can change it. I think we would have many more bi sexuals if it made little difference in our society. I am not a person of faith, but I like your approach. It is not for anyone to tell others what they should do or believe and act upon it. Being gay is obviously genetic and social but there have always been gays. I think I like the fact that this part of the mental profession is being restricted to folks over 18 in several states. When I was young 50 years ago, we were thought to be defective and mentally challenged. The mental science has progressed a lot since that time and I am so pleased that you, unlike myself will be able to marry and have a family in a loving relationship. Getting old alone is not a lot of fun! And mom and dad will not be with you if you live to be 70, or very few of our parents will live into their late 90's. So, you just can not live your life for them either.
you are great! thank you so much for the good you do!
That movie should be required for all human beings to watch.
I'm so sorry your parents put you through this! Congrats on knowing bible so well!
BTW, I highly, highly, highly recommend that you watch the video FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO. It explains what the bible really means when it talks about homosexuality.
Jeff you are a doll! Good luck with your life!
i came out when i was 16... and my parents also sent me to a christian counselor... i am 19 now and they still dont accept...
very cool of u to post this.
MRI brain scans of 90 volunteers who were divided into four groups of similar ages according to whether they were male, female, heterosexual or homosexual. The scans showed the right side of the brain in heterosexual men was typically 2% larger than the left. Lesbians showed a similar asymmetry, with the right hand side of the brain 1% larger than the left.
I would want my son to take an MRI test to prove that he is gay. Some men are confused.
Very happy for you. You're were I wish to see myself.
It matters because straight parents prefer that their children are straight and if the test shows that the child is not homosexual then it might be easier to change than for a person who is born this way.
Great job - thank you for sharing your experience
i agree 100%. I'm Catholic nd stuff, but i know a couple of people that are like that. Two of my best friends say they hate gays and such and that it's a DNA malfunction and such. One of them said (about a friend who we think is gay) "If i knew he was gay, i would say things like, 'I hate queers, i think they should die etc'" i told him blatantly, "If i knew he was gay and i knew you knew he was gay, and i heard you say that stuff around him, i would beat your profusely"
Not all Christians hate gay people. I am a Christian lesbian. I don't think that incest is okay. The Bible isn't as stagnant as some would have us to believe. At the time, since there were only a few people, yes, they did commit incest. However, today, since incest is no longer necessary to the preservation of the human race, it is not okay.
Thank you for that inspirational story. :)
I wish people would stop believing they have any way to know what any deity has to say in reality, if one exists, with any certainty.
Good job, kiddo! God Bless.
Very interesting story. Thanks for posting.
you're amazing for being so strong...i'm waiting till i have enough money to move out...just in case...
how did the parents change their minds?
im happy 2 hear that about you and your parents =)
Good for you Jeff! Good vid!
I agree with Lisauben, but almost all the leaders of said conversion groups deny that any change actually happens, its all just about training the person to repress/suppress urges and attempt to force them to live a heterosexual lifestyle.
Focus on the Family? I am so sorry to hear that...
I appreciate this video. Good for you, holmes.