How My Family Reacted - Coming Out FtM Transgender

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  • Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
  • Sorry if the editing is sloppy, I'm now doing everything on a laptop and it's been a big adjustment haha
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Комментарии • 914

  • @AmongTheSlaughtered
    @AmongTheSlaughtered 7 лет назад +201

    I was in the same boat with my grandma when I came out as bisexual. I finally worked up the courage to tell her, AFTER marrying my husband, and FUCKING PLOT TWIST she says, Ohh honey me too, I've loved many women in my lifetime. Talk about the biggest relief/plot twist of my life.

  • @pinkdew13
    @pinkdew13 7 лет назад +765

    When my little brother came out and I finally realized he wasn't going to be my little sister anymore, I cried and needed to talk to my trans friends, my boyfriend, and my mom. It really helped to talk it out but it's still a little weird saying "little brother" and using he/him pronouns (I do tend to just say his name instead of his pronouns) but yeah I've learned to accept it, even though it was hard at first because I lost the person I thought he was, I actually gained the truer version of who he is and if it makes him happier then I have no reason not to support him.

    • @andrewsmith211
      @andrewsmith211 4 года назад +23

      I wish my older brother had been supportive. The threatened to kick the shit out of me. So now I'm scared of telling my mum.

    • @effeffiagonalick5078
      @effeffiagonalick5078 4 года назад +25

      I know this is an old comment, but I just want you to know that you're a good sibling and every time you do your best to understand and support your brother, you're getting even better.

  • @the_misfit9042
    @the_misfit9042 7 лет назад +462

    When I first came out my father pretty much ignored the fact that I was transgender and said he would always see me as his "girl" so after a year of him and my mother ignoring my presence he started doing research on transgender people and started talking with me about it
    Now he supports me fully ,he started taking me to therapy and is practically now calling me male pronouns and his son all the time now where just waiting for the therapist to allow me to get on testosterone

    • @baileyjessica245
      @baileyjessica245 5 лет назад +7

      thats awesome, I'm happy things are turning out for you! Good luck on the rest of your journeyyy :)

    • @GallifreyanCat
      @GallifreyanCat 5 лет назад +3

    • @andreaberryman5354
      @andreaberryman5354 2 года назад

      Please take your time. These changes are perminant....

    • @Sleazeballclown
      @Sleazeballclown 2 года назад +9

      Andrea Berryman yeah that’s the point

    • @aviendha1154
      @aviendha1154 2 года назад

      @@andreaberryman5354 hey terf your 5 years too late this dudes been on T for years by now. But congrats on being kind of a dick on the internet towards a trans person! 10 points to griffendoor. . .

  • @alecellis
    @alecellis 7 лет назад +721

    don't mean to go off topic but your voice really relaxes me

    • @andreapoolee
      @andreapoolee 7 лет назад +6

      Duns4Hands I was gonna say that too and I like your username

    • @andreapoolee
      @andreapoolee 7 лет назад

      Duns4Hands and picture😂

    • @AimlessRiordan
      @AimlessRiordan 7 лет назад +3

      Duns4Hands I see you there, clique member. | - /

    • @justme3457
      @justme3457 5 лет назад

      It really ie

    • @Simpishluc
      @Simpishluc 4 года назад +1

      Sounds like the voice from FNaF 5

  • @Alex_Bertie
    @Alex_Bertie 7 лет назад +911

    Very cool story mate! Our Dads seem very similar!

    • @noone3104
      @noone3104 7 лет назад

      TheRealAlexBertie ily Alex

    • @jaymicoutain8813
      @jaymicoutain8813 7 лет назад +12

      TheRealAlexBertie Oh my days! I watch both of you, but I never thought you knew about each other. This is so awesome! 😆😆😆

    • @humankid
      @humankid 7 лет назад +17

      TheRealAlexBertie Alex!! I love your videos :)))

    • @joycelinlgbtq
      @joycelinlgbtq 5 лет назад

      Guys, you realise that you even look similar? Like in the thumbnail for this vid i thought it WAS Alex (because i follow you both it took me a sec to realise it's Ty).

  • @MollyBurkeOfficial
    @MollyBurkeOfficial 7 лет назад +746

    Aw, I really loved this video Ty!!

    • @barezz5483
      @barezz5483 6 лет назад +23

      Molly Burke OMG I love you Molly slay queen

    • @dottuanicuwu7842
      @dottuanicuwu7842 5 лет назад +32

      I love you so so much Molly, it's so nice to see you support trans people :)

    • @sorryluv4847
      @sorryluv4847 5 лет назад +4

      awe your so cute i love you!💗

    • @sunnyb1185
      @sunnyb1185 5 лет назад +3

      Molly!!

    • @boneappletea5890
      @boneappletea5890 5 лет назад +2

      Omg hi Molly love your content lol and Molly is my dead name too

  • @Ericapantses
    @Ericapantses 7 лет назад +266

    Ugh, when you talked about the aunt that raised you being harsh my heart hurt.
    "She asked me not to" I legit flinched. I can't imagine how that felt. I'm glad you're as strong as you are. And I hope anyone reading this knows that you deserve to be validated.
    No one should be ashamed of you. You are wonderful.

    • @Ericapantses
      @Ericapantses 7 лет назад +14

      And of course thank you for sharing, Ty. This had to be so so difficult at some points. ♥

  • @gbsmiles
    @gbsmiles 7 лет назад +365

    Dude...Your Mom is Super Friggin Awesome!! #TysMomRules

  • @Djoodibooti
    @Djoodibooti 7 лет назад +1535

    ty looks like he smells really good.

  • @willahladun334
    @willahladun334 7 лет назад +140

    It's unfortunate that most people don't get on board until you're cis-passing. I suppose it makes sense because so much of our recognition of people is in faces and bodies, so when someone says they're a different gender than what we've been associating with their appearance their entire lives it definitely causes some confusion. So thrilled to hear that your family has all come around though. I think it's interesting too how the oldest generations can often be the most accepting, it's like even if they're against it they figure "fuck it, I've lived my life" and kinda just go with it.

  • @StefSanjatiOfficial
    @StefSanjatiOfficial 7 лет назад +415

    This made me want to see my nana oh my god

    • @emilygallimore1436
      @emilygallimore1436 5 лет назад +3

      Same but the only nan I had died 12 years ago

    • @justme3457
      @justme3457 5 лет назад +3

      Mines LGBTQ+ phobic
      So nice to see that you're on good terms with yours

  • @tuckerphillips8274
    @tuckerphillips8274 7 лет назад +181

    Both my parents had similar reactions to yours.
    I just saw my conservative anti-LGBT Grandparents for the first time since sending them an email coming out (that they didn't respond to) this weekend. My cousins responded very well to the email and started using my name and pronouns immediately, but my uncle and great aunt were both like "you're not a boy, you're messing up gods creation, Jesus, blah blah".
    So I really expected to get backlash from my grandparents .I thought that they might even stop seeing me and disown me. But they didn't say anything for a while then my grandma said that I don't look like a boy. So I didn't really know what to say to that but it sounded negative.
    Then later my grandma referred to me by my chosen name and corrected herself when she used the wrong pronouns. Even my grandpa (who is very old and I expected that he wouldn't even know what trans meant) called me 'he'.
    I actually asked my mom if she somehow threatened them because all of it was just so out of character. I guess that they told my mom that they didn't agree with it but decided to support me and my wishes out of love. It is the very last and very best thing I ever expected to come out of this weekend.
    Sorry this is so long lmao

  • @pjtiger10
    @pjtiger10 7 лет назад +121

    Hearing you talk about your mother driving you to the support group had me crying. She sounds amazing.

  • @KalvinGarrah
    @KalvinGarrah 7 лет назад +714

    Really loved this video 💕 Broke my heart to almost see you cry. Ive always looked up to you so much and the courage you had to come out to such a religious family is even more amazing. I was lucky; my entire family is so supportive, and I knew they would be before coming out. It hurts to see so many transgender youth with unaccepting families.

    • @fangboi7493
      @fangboi7493 5 лет назад +2

      ❤🖤❤

    • @liquidwater1204
      @liquidwater1204 5 лет назад +8

      My friend is wanting to transition, she is in 7th grade and her mom is unaccepting I feel bad for her, I am religious and I try to be as accepting as possible

    • @colbydixon6695
      @colbydixon6695 5 лет назад +4

      One, love your videos, and two, I also feel bad about trans youth with unaccepting parents. I was lucky with my parents but my grandparents aren't so supportive I don't think, telling me not to ruin myself and stuff. Oof. Anyway, lol love you bai 😂❤🧡💛💚💙💜

    • @difficultabroad2665
      @difficultabroad2665 5 лет назад +1

      Kalvin Garrah 420th like 😫

    • @zeno1298
      @zeno1298 5 лет назад

      @@liquidwater1204 is it ftm or mtf?

  • @chiarapp
    @chiarapp 7 лет назад +224

    Your voice is beautiful man, I just love it.

  • @thegreenmanofnorwich
    @thegreenmanofnorwich Год назад +5

    "Cool, is that what you want to do?" Is possibly the best response I've ever heard.

  • @jaydenquinnzel4745
    @jaydenquinnzel4745 7 лет назад +87

    Everyone on my moms side is homophobic and transphobic. I originally came out at 11 kind of, and since I was raised by my grandparents because I didn't have parents really after 3yrs old. My grandmother rejected it and constantly made a point to try and force me to wear girly things but because I fought her so much on it she eventually gave up and let me get girls clothing that looked semi boyish/gender neutral. I hacked off my own hair at 6 and cut through my ear because it really bothered me. My great grandma called my grandparents when I changed my name on fb kind of outing me again and bringing it up again. Me coming out and living as myself and being who I was as a child caused abuse both emotional that kept going until I was 14 when it got physical and mentally till now. My father who was doing drugs wasn't allowed to see me and as a result of being seperated from him my mind subconsciously closed off those memories. When I came out to him we got into an argument. A year or two later and he is finally on board and finally supporting me. My dads mom, his sisters and some of the other fam on his side also support me. I'm heading to my aunts house this Easter so I don't have to spend the whole day around people who want to disown me and lock me into a mental institution even though legally they can't and would rather have me kill myself than be who I am. Coming out is scary, but for a lot of trans and non binary kids and adults it's like "okay am I going to keep letting faking who I am eat at me constantly or am I going to let myself live and be healthy as me?" I chose the latter. As a 19 yr old with PDD (on the autism spectrum) I'm told that because my "brain isn't caught up with my body I'm just confused". Yeah nice try autism doesn't mean I'm not trans ✌🏻. Listening to this video made me happy you got the support you needed, I'm just happy that decent parents and decent people exist.

    • @lara3631
      @lara3631 5 лет назад +5

      you go! you dont need to care what they say.

    • @GallifreyanCat
      @GallifreyanCat 5 лет назад +4

      Oh my gosh, and here I am complaining because my mum is a bit old-fashioned... ^^
      For real though, best of luck, please be strong!!

  • @elijahfergus
    @elijahfergus 2 года назад +8

    i came out to my mom by accident as well too. i had a trans flag pin i’d wear every day and take off when she picked me up. one day i forgot to take it off and tried to distract her from it but she noticed when i quickly fumbled to take it off. we talked about it and she was chill at first. she had actually asked me multiple times if i was trans before but i always denied it because i was scared. i thought that was the end of it but later she was crying and said she missed her daughter and wished i would just be a masculine girl and it was such a weird feeling to try to comfort my mom mourning this person standing right in front of her. legit felt like the meme where jesus is all bloody talking to the guy who is unhurt. i was scared about coming out to the rest of my family. my entire family is religious. my moms side is devout catholics. and then add immigrants on top of that. my dads side, devout mormons. i was sure they wouldn’t accept me. turns out for the most part everyone did. yes they may have their moments of confusion and slip ups but hey. any trans person would take that over not being accepted at all. i’m glad i live in an age where this is more accepted and a more liberal state. but we still have a long way to go until these emotional coming outs will be a thing of the past and this will be as casual as telling someone your favorite food.

  • @samhamilton4734
    @samhamilton4734 7 лет назад +72

    Im 32 and panicked about coming out. my mum has chose not to be in my life which means she walked away from my kids too. My dad says he doesn't understand but he loves me but will always see me as his daughter. luckily for me i have a supportive partner and friends. I just couldnt keep it in another day longer.

    • @oxgigixo7927
      @oxgigixo7927 7 лет назад +8

      Sam Hamilton I feel like a lot of people come out at a much younger age I'm 24 and I have a son seeing your comment makes me feel relief I'm not the only one with children barely realizing this... I'm finally realizing why I feel the way I do but I felt maybe it was too late for me to transition because of me being pregnant and that I've always tried to fit in and live as the female Gender role I was given and now that I understand more I'm 99.9% sure I'm Trans. I'm extremely terrified because I have dated one trans man before and I loved him so much but I feel like he was meant to come into my life to introduce me to what it is to be trans because before him I never knew what trans was and that trans even existed. I don't even know where to begin.

    • @TheeeDanielROfficial
      @TheeeDanielROfficial 6 лет назад +1

      oxGigixo follow your heart

  • @GretchenVonEpp
    @GretchenVonEpp 7 лет назад +409

    am i the only one here that is not LGBT? Like Im straight, not trans, nothing, but i love watching Ty, and other LGBT people. Even tho i don't relate.

    • @judycarter888
      @judycarter888 7 лет назад +48

      You certainly aren't the only one!

    • @tjteam6289
      @tjteam6289 7 лет назад +64

      Gretchen VonEpp I think more people like you and me play a small part (still important) with helping to show that accepting those in the LGBTQ is actually ok. They're being who they are, sometimes a little medical help is needed but hell who doesn't now a days. Handsome guy for sure!

    • @SpongySweet
      @SpongySweet 7 лет назад +7

      Gretchen VonEpp Me too!

    • @kimcote8653
      @kimcote8653 7 лет назад +24

      lmao.. I also watch Stef Sanjati .. I am a 47 yr old woman.. I have had a relationship with another woman before in my 30's.. (I think I have been interested in girls from the age of 8-10 yrs old) However.. I have only married men. I am married now also for 5 yrs to a man. I just think I love who ever treats me right, if I click with them, if we want to be together.. to me.. it does not matter.. man or woman.. LOVE IS LOVE.

    • @geopat4298
      @geopat4298 7 лет назад +30

      Not at all, I am born-female, identify as female, straight female, but somehow I came across transition vids and now I'm binge watching, totally hooked on the whole concept. It's both fascinating and heartwarming - to see how medical progress has made sex hormones available for this generation, and just fantastic that people can now fulfill their gender identities both mentally AND PHYSICALLY. And Ty is one of the best to watch cause he's hilarious and cute.

  • @TJBaer-kq1he
    @TJBaer-kq1he 4 года назад +7

    The "Happy Birthday, Grandson" card really got me. Those are some amazing grandparents right there.

  • @yukito458
    @yukito458 7 лет назад +31

    Sad to see trans people still have to go through such ordeal but I'm glad you have come out the other end as handsome and as confident!

  • @nightmare-im6xg
    @nightmare-im6xg 4 года назад +11

    When i brought up trans people to my mom she was like '' they just hurt their body'' and i was like ok never coming out

  • @Mrbloblobob
    @Mrbloblobob 7 лет назад +83

    I'm out as a transman to my immediate family. My grandparents also voted for Trump, and I'm avoiding coming out to them. I know they won't have the reaction your Gparents did... my grandma has said, before my transition that she believes being trans is a mental illness. I'm afraid they will disown me... I guess it'll be their loss.. :/ my mother has even tried to bargain with me that if I come out I will lose them, but I'm not going to stop transitioning into myself, just because some old people will get uncomfortable..

    • @Nameless-dw5nv
      @Nameless-dw5nv 7 лет назад +8

      Lilly Anderson It sounds harsh but they're old and won't be here forever. Do you and don't waste your life on toxic people. If they don't accept you, I'm sorry but then you don't have to accept them either. You have to choose happiness.

    • @Magicandpassion
      @Magicandpassion 7 лет назад

      Banshee Lurcher this whole world will fall apart and its beginning we already see, come to God and Jesus have faith in him, pray, seek, ask

    • @Nameless-dw5nv
      @Nameless-dw5nv 7 лет назад

      Jenny Ro Why do you have to be pro or anti trans? Can't you just accept our differences? I don't know why random people should care how I live my life.

    • @noralally6449
      @noralally6449 7 лет назад

      Lilly Anderson youer grandparents obviously care a lot about you and we best you, shooting up with hormones IS NOT what's best for you lmfao.

    • @Mrbloblobob
      @Mrbloblobob 7 лет назад +5

      Nora, how the fuck would you know what's best for me? Get out of here. lmfao.

  • @morkie98
    @morkie98 5 лет назад +12

    The first time I got a birthday card saying “happy birthday granddaughter” I cried and honestly wanted to frame it lol

  • @wyrmoffastring
    @wyrmoffastring 5 лет назад +36

    "They both voted for trump" OH BOY BUCKLE UP

    • @Quazex
      @Quazex 5 лет назад +2

      Chim

  • @cadenmichael_
    @cadenmichael_ 7 лет назад +30

    That's literally my aunt... she was sorta like a second mom to me and she did literally exactly the same thing and she only started trying once i got top surgery because she realized i wouldn't "change my mind" ... she called me it for awhile so like that was a thing

    • @ahhh4117
      @ahhh4117 3 года назад +1

      That sucks :(
      It's been 3 years so I hope things have improved for u,
      how was top surgery

    • @cadenmichael_
      @cadenmichael_ 3 года назад +2

      @@ahhh4117 Things have! Not really with my aunt but she’s at least more subtle about her hatred of me bc she knows our whole family would go off on her but things are still awkward... Top surgery went great :) I just won a lawsuit with my high school where they discriminated against me and with the settlement i may actually be able to afford bottom surgery so.. i guess a lot happens in 3 years haha life is truly looking up!

    • @ahhh4117
      @ahhh4117 3 года назад +1

      @@cadenmichael_ hell yeah dude! That's so great! Good luck for ur future dude!

    • @cadenmichael_
      @cadenmichael_ 3 года назад +1

      @@ahhh4117 Thank you! I hope all is well with you!!

  • @thewrongcrowd6311
    @thewrongcrowd6311 7 лет назад +13

    when he cried i just wanted to hug him omg

  • @difficultabroad2665
    @difficultabroad2665 5 лет назад +9

    My mom told my dad too.
    Got kicked out of my house, currently living with my boyfriend.

    • @tape2518
      @tape2518 5 лет назад +7

      Ah hell, i'm so sorry to hear that. That's awful parenting, I hope you can get back on your feet soon :(

    • @difficultabroad2665
      @difficultabroad2665 5 лет назад +5

      Tape Yeah, thanks haha. things are going surprisingly okay so far so things look bright

  • @ShantiSyndrome
    @ShantiSyndrome 7 лет назад +14

    this really gave me hope. i dont wanna be expect positive reactions because thats not realistic. but my main concern is my grandparents, and your experience made me HOPE TO GODDDDDD that they will react the same. because they are like my parents.
    thanks for sharing

  • @mhgirl01
    @mhgirl01 7 лет назад +6

    You are an inspiration to be Ty. I am transmasc and i have been struggling with my mother lately. She doesn't accepts me, calls me broken or says "i probably have hormonal problems and need to get checked out". She constantly misgenders me, specifically buys me feminine stuff and tries to prevent me from wearing "boy clothes". I have attempted to talk and inform her about what being transgender is, but she is too caught up in her own beliefs. Hell she thinks that if i'm transmasc (or to her a trans guy) how could i be attracted to guys. She has no idea what gender and sexuality. My friends are supportive of me an all but that's not enough sadly. I don't think i can even think about coming out to my dad. All i can hope for is to wait until i leave the country for college.

  • @lukebuzzelli2127
    @lukebuzzelli2127 7 лет назад +18

    My first time watching ty, shook bc I go to Tulsa's equality center, too. I can't believe ty went there too. Wow

  • @ericalexander6383
    @ericalexander6383 7 лет назад +32

    I don't think we've seen Ty cry since the video about the dog he tried to save. A HEADS UP WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE BRO

    • @TyTurner
      @TyTurner  7 лет назад +18

      It was in the thumbnail though

  • @stormageddon101
    @stormageddon101 7 лет назад +4

    This video actually helped quite a bit. My family is really close minded, but to see you go through close minded family members and come out on the other side with them being supportive helps a lot.

  • @thenoellew
    @thenoellew 7 лет назад +7

    Wow, this absolutely reminds me of coming out to my different family members as pansexual. My family is a lot like yours, and everybody is pretty much a parent to me. It was actually interesting coming out to everybody. For a couple of years, only my close friends, three of my cousins and my mom knew that I was pansexual. Then the day that same-sex marriage was legalized, I had been at my Aunty Jenny's house (as I'd been living there for a couple months prior). I broke down crying with tears of joy, and she didn't know why. So I just told her. And she was SO supportive. She asked all the right questions to clarify my sexuality, and she took the initiative to help me come out to other members of that family - which was convenient, because my high school graduation party was that weekend. I did the same thing, where I pulled aside individual family members to tell them. It's funny, because once I explained what pansexual means they weren't surprised in the slightest. The way that they always try to describe it - and me - to strangers is that I'm very loving and it matters to me about what's on the inside, not the outside. Which is kind of perfectly accurate, I think 😊 Thank you for sharing your story, Ty! I unfortunately still haven't come out to my mom's side of the family because they are very Christian. I think they might eventually come around to it though, because one of my distant cousins is FtM transgender. And they've just now come around to calling him by his rightful name and pronouns. So maybe they'll be okay. Idk, it's hard to tell.

  • @geraldwee9462
    @geraldwee9462 3 года назад +2

    I'm about to start T, and honestly, I'm terrified somewhat because I truly don't know how to come out to any of my family. I'm just not ready to hear their shit when I'm barely able to accept myself. I wish it were easier, but I believe it does get easier someday

    • @asher5690
      @asher5690 2 года назад +1

      Dudeeee have you started t? How’s it going for you?

    • @geraldwee9462
      @geraldwee9462 2 года назад +2

      @@asher5690 I started T! The transphobia from ppl can be sucky, but I'm becoming happier with time and I'm truly grateful for that. Can't wait to be 6 months soon!

  • @raphraph3260
    @raphraph3260 7 лет назад +6

    Funny to hear that your grandparents were the fastest to support. I was afraid of telling my grandparents because I felt like they would not understand it. But in fact my grandfather convinced my parents to let me live my life like I want to live it and he is totally understanding and really supportive. He gave me money to get a prostethic and to get a new binder and everything

  • @james_sws876
    @james_sws876 7 лет назад +19

    to be honest thank you for making this video I'm coming out next month I hope it goes well. I'm nervous AF tho

    • @lara3631
      @lara3631 5 лет назад

      its been more then a month, but i really, really hope it went well

  • @madkips
    @madkips 7 лет назад +4

    your story is amazing, I'm not trans but I love the courage trans people have.

  • @gablison
    @gablison 7 лет назад +7

    I think it's a shame that some people only accept you AFTER you start “passing” in their eyes when it's pre-passing that people need the most support to validate their feelings and cement the feelings of support you have for them. I think it's great that they came around eventually and I think it's important to find those people who supported you from the coming out to help you jump start your transition then after they can be your advocates for the people who are struggling to understand and support you.

  • @ailsaj6759
    @ailsaj6759 7 лет назад +22

    i don't know why but parts of this actually hurt my soul just to think that you (or anyone) would have to be told that they are not valid kind hurts

    • @facelessdrone
      @facelessdrone 3 года назад

      Lol, say that to my mom please and make her understand

  • @christinapalafox987
    @christinapalafox987 7 лет назад +1

    I cried right along with you. I grew up in a family very similar to yours in closeness- my grandparents were also like a second set of parents to me. I had experiences that surprised me in the same way regarding my grandparents' understanding of situations I found myself in. It's amazing how the oldest and seemingly most conservative generation's views can be tempered by experience, resulting in a sense of loving acceptance for the choices of those around them. It's truly beautiful to know that you are loved for who you are, 100%, not for conforming to someone else's ideal of who you should be.

  • @Sirrahlala
    @Sirrahlala 7 лет назад +5

    The part where your dad did a 180 really made me tear up, too. Thanks for sharing your story. ❤

  • @stinkywhale897
    @stinkywhale897 5 лет назад +6

    This must be some weird American version of "support" that my mother isn't familiar with. You see, she supports me, but I can't change my name because that would be "a piss take" "kind of pathetic" and "a slap in the face" you know, support.

  • @armadilloFlashFire
    @armadilloFlashFire 7 лет назад +29

    all the transphobic religious comments here are so weird. I dont go to "meninist" or other stupid videos and comment on threads there because I know there are more of them than there are of me and they dont care about what I have to say. do bigots not have that type of logic? do they not know that we've heard it all before and we're just laughing at them now?

  • @juliannavictoria4761
    @juliannavictoria4761 7 лет назад +2

    I've been very nervous to come out to my family at home. thank you for posting about your transition and showing people like me that it's okay to feel the way we do

  • @cAnimeAi
    @cAnimeAi 7 лет назад +105

    10/10 of my family members, no exceptions, are extremely transphobi and extremely hateful. i mean doesn't get more hateful, they're disgusted by us. So is there anything you recommend? Is there a possibility you could make a video about coming out to 100% transphobic parents? Because this shit is eating me and my youth up and I've had enough.

    • @lm2040
      @lm2040 7 лет назад +7

      Marco Agop I'm sorry I have no advice (I know you didnt ask me but) I wish you good luck and I hope you'll be okay

    • @haydenzeis2720
      @haydenzeis2720 7 лет назад +14

      Marco Agop just make sure you're safe honestly. That's the most important thing.

    • @jack-jb9mz
      @jack-jb9mz 7 лет назад +23

      You didn't ask me either... but I highly recommend finding a trans support group in your area or online. Finding some kind of a support system is essential. The most important thing is that you are safe and know when the right time to come out is. I would have a backup plan just in case worst case scenario occurred (like getting kicked out)... make sure to have a place to crash at. Cover all the bases in terms of possible outcomes. Come out to people in your family that you know for sure will accept you and have them present when coming out to your parents for support and/or protection. If you don't have someone like that in your family then try to find a friend or anyone that could be there for you. I know I'm a stranger but I'm totally here for you if you need it.

    • @killercereal4567
      @killercereal4567 7 лет назад +7

      Yes, please. I wish Ty or some other prominent guys on youtube who are trans would make a video on how to come out to very transphobic parents. Mine are very conservative and Christian and have expressed their absolute hatred of trans people. I have no idea how I'll come out after I move out for college this year...it scares me so much

    • @cAnimeAi
      @cAnimeAi 7 лет назад

      about the support group, this is greece, i cant even dream to get a gender therapist to begin with here

  • @talks2squirrels953
    @talks2squirrels953 Год назад +1

    You have so much love in your life. ❤ Supportive grandparents ROCK

  • @healthepetveterinaria5984
    @healthepetveterinaria5984 5 лет назад +7

    I guess everyone tells you this but you had me fooled! I would never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (have I said ever?) have guessed that you were an introvert.

  • @EvesterBee
    @EvesterBee 7 лет назад +4

    I'm so happy that all your family are supportive. Thank you for posting this, it means a lot to hear about other people's experiences. This has given me courage to come out to my wider family as well

  • @chrisbryce3988
    @chrisbryce3988 7 лет назад +4

    When I came out to my siblings, my most religious sister was the most supportive. I expected a different outcome, so you can never really know what to expect. Have the courage if you are safe. People will still love and respect you.

  • @olliebaba3979
    @olliebaba3979 3 года назад +1

    okay am i the only one looking at his eyebrows? like there so freaking perfect oh my god man!

  • @samssideacc2541
    @samssideacc2541 7 лет назад +9

    I wish these were the circumstances for me. I live in Collierville Tennessee and I need somewhere to go to see about a gender therapist and gender therapy. I have some support from my dad and I feel like he will be inclined to take me and at least try to get me into this process if there was only a location to go to.

    • @LexieFletcher
      @LexieFletcher 7 лет назад +1

      SEBSESH456 you might check out Dr. Lisa Alex

  • @jennestradayoutube
    @jennestradayoutube 7 лет назад +2

    v proud of you, dude! Been around since 20k. It's been an honor watching you grow into the man you are today (:

  • @ryans4882
    @ryans4882 4 года назад +8

    God, hearing you talk about your aunt really makes me think about the way my parents reacted/react. Just the way they're passive-agressive about everything and won't use the right pronouns or name. Needless to say I'm really hating christmas cause I'm too scared to come out to everyone else (extended family) and I don't want to upset my parents anymore by doing that. I really hope they come around like your aunt did eventually.

    • @sanderdejong5151
      @sanderdejong5151 4 года назад +1

      Same here! I was having a hard time this weekend about not going (or being invited to) family moments during Christmas. I felt guilty for causing discomfort in the family and not taking enough initiative to get them al together (since no one else was initiating).
      Luckily I saw my therapist on Monday, who told me I'm the director of my own life, so I should just make a choice, do/initiate what I want and stick with it, without any guilt. (It might have been a very overt way of saying, don't make yourself the victim here, but Own it.)
      Anyway, now I worked today, had a lovely morning in my very accepting church, and spending tomorrow with a friend instead of family. I feel liberated!
      But I can't wait to get to the Christmas in the future in which I pass and where my family will hopefully accept me for who I am. Due to long waiting lists in the Netherlands though, that might take 3 more years.
      Sorry for the long reply, I just wanted you to know you're not alone!
      I'm thankful there's guys like Ty out there that show us things will get better!

    • @groovywooky1008
      @groovywooky1008 4 года назад

      Hi 🙋‍♂️
      I understand you and wish you the best for the Future!
      I was also not by my Family at this Christmas an be out since last june (2019) . I hope it's gets better in 2020.

  • @hazeld8016
    @hazeld8016 2 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for telling your story. Watching this has made me realize how shit my parents have been about this whole thing, despite being life long democrats and supposedly supporting trans people. I thought it wasnt that bad because they didnt kick me out of the house or something and my therapist was saying "just because they didnt have the worst reaction possible doesnt mean that they reacted well" and i just sort of shrugged and ignored it. But hearing you talk about how hard it was for you when your aunt acted like that, thats how my mom reacted, and is still reacting. And my dad told me he thought that when i get stressed, i invent a new identity for myself to escape, or something like that. So anyway, it really sucks and thank you for being so honest about your story. It sounds like it was really scary and hard but everything worked out in the end which gives me hope too. I like how you said you needed distance from your aunt and uncle, because i think thats what i need from my parents for them to realize that theyre going to have to accept and respect me. I know this is a super old video and ive just written an essay but thank you so much for talking about this and being so open and honest about how it made you feel

  • @markusmaldonado3961
    @markusmaldonado3961 7 лет назад +6

    Ty thank you for these videos even though you keep me awake at night bc I'm so addicted to them ;)

  • @davidvriesenga1107
    @davidvriesenga1107 Месяц назад

    It's a lot of years later, but thank you. I struggled with my son, but never lost the love for him. It took me awhile to come around, and I am actually gay. Now we have a great relationship. Sometimes it takes a while to process. This was a very important post - thanks.

  • @IzzeyIce
    @IzzeyIce 7 лет назад +8

    I remember I had a male best friend who decided to become a female. At first I refused to call her by her new name, and continued to call her the wrong pronouns. Now that I am educated I feel awful I ever felt that way!

    • @sarahsayshello9726
      @sarahsayshello9726 5 лет назад

      Yea that can hurt a bit, I once had a friend who told me he only befriended me to find out if i was gay. I never spoke to him again agter that. That actually had a bigger impact on me than I care to admit. I became an annoying little shite after that out of compensation. Haha the things we do growing up

  • @k1llingboys363
    @k1llingboys363 7 лет назад +6

    i love you so much ty, and i'm so proud of how far you've come

  • @NewbelTV
    @NewbelTV 7 лет назад +30

    My parents hates when I talk about trans women they will kill me if I told them I'm trans and I want to be comfortable being a trans and them being supportive so how will I change their mind?

    • @samantha489
      @samantha489 7 лет назад +6

      NewBel Manila just talk to them on a good time like when their alone and just tell them you have something very important to tell them and just ask them do you love me and if they say yes then say would you support me through anything and if they say yes then take a breather in and out and tell them that your trans and just tell them why exactly why you feel this way.

    • @justme3457
      @justme3457 5 лет назад +1

      Do 2hqt you think you should do
      If you choose to tell them, think about what you're gonna say pep talk time, then blurt it out and don't second guess yourself
      I found that helps

    • @arson9662
      @arson9662 5 лет назад +1

      Idk, people like that don’t change their minds easily, by any means.

  • @JoshBroadhurst
    @JoshBroadhurst 5 лет назад +2

    aww, I'm so sorry about the situation with your aunt. I just want to go over there and hug you ❤️

  • @effeffiagonalick5078
    @effeffiagonalick5078 4 года назад +11

    "He didn't want me to change the body God gave me"
    Okay, I've always hated this excuse for transphobia. "God gave you that body and it's perfect the way it is!" Okay Karen then how come all your sons are circumcised? Why don't I see you pitching a fit at your sister for getting a facelift? Why aren't you protesting doctors performing surgeries on babies born with holes in their hearts, cleft pallets, intestinal blockages, etc.? Aren't all bodies perfect just the way God made them? Or is it possible that God makes mistakes every now and then?

  • @orionhearts
    @orionhearts 4 года назад +1

    A lot of ftm peeps are coming up on my recommendeds and honestly I am not complaining at all.

  • @nftm5607
    @nftm5607 7 лет назад +9

    i was born in a muslim country (btw i'm trans man) so my family are so religious i'm really scared to tell them because they maybe will kick me out or something , and i'm not planed to tell them and run away but i love them so much i cant handle the fact that if i go i'll not see them forever i don't know what to do. sorry for my bad english

    • @sireal5061
      @sireal5061 5 лет назад

      Hey, I'm muslim and ftm too. Is it okay if we somehow talk? Any social medias I could reach out to you with? I've just never met any muslim trans people before and I think you could be able to understand me more.

    • @lara3631
      @lara3631 5 лет назад

      if they dont accept you, poor them.

    • @purplebird481
      @purplebird481 5 лет назад

      @sire, you should do ruqya to see if you may have jinn possession.
      Any change by surgery and hormones is cosmetic. You are a female. You cannot change this.

    • @dummydami
      @dummydami 4 года назад

      how are you doing man?

  • @cloudgalanes-rosenbaum1127
    @cloudgalanes-rosenbaum1127 6 месяцев назад

    I'm not someone who has medically transitioned. So I can't say that I can fully identify with you here. But I can relate. My father still refuses to use my preferred name and uses the excuse that his friends don't know me by that name and it's too confusing to explain it to them. Ironically, I've been going by "that name" for almost 15 years. He did start trying to respect me and my enby/trans friends a bit when I publically told him that I'd only be using his legal name (not his preferred name) until he could show me the respect I deserved. I did all this in a generally very accepting community. So, bravo to you. Your story shows true strength. Also... I don't know why I'm seeing this post 6 years late.

  • @cecil80
    @cecil80 7 лет назад +8

    Ahhh I almost cried when I saw you get all teary eyed when talking about your aunt

  • @awc1976
    @awc1976 5 лет назад

    Man.... If I can just please say: I am, as far as I'm aware, a heterosexual American white male. I have no 'real' religious affiliation, although I was raised as non-denominational Christian. Just telling you who I am, to me, I guess. Aside from all of that, I just want to tell you, how amazingly proud of you that I am. We don't know each other, and I've only recently discovered you here on RUclips, but, I can't help myself, for some reason, to say to you, what a great guy you seem to be. I'm pretty much a 'guy's-guy', have been in the body shop business for 25 years, but I'm open-minded and probably lean more towards the feminine side 'internally'. I just want to applaud you, for being 'you'. That is an incredibly solid thing to be, and man-to-man, I admire you so much. I sincerely hope that our paths cross at some point in our lives, so that I can have you as, and sincerely call you my 'boy' and my friend. You seem like a great guy, that I'd get along very well with. Much love, to you and yours, and best wishes in your endeavors. 🤘🏻❤

  • @TersekTalgo
    @TersekTalgo 7 лет назад +3

    Just a week ago I come out with my dad, and a few months ago I come out with my mom and... I do not know, the situation is strange, they both "accept" me but none support me, so I just have to go ahead on my own , I do not know, it's strange but I feel good with this and I'm practically starting the way of my life haha
    ​​I love your videos 💕 and I apologize for my bad english haha greetings from Chile ✌

  • @blondieYorkie
    @blondieYorkie 5 лет назад +1

    What your grandparents did for you made me cry 😭 I am so happy you had people who supported you and people who still support you.

  • @christopherquinn8457
    @christopherquinn8457 7 лет назад +12

    Dang, I'm going to leave because my mom is harassing me for my gender. I have supportive friends but my immediate family is very upset with me

    • @zizii.g.4981
      @zizii.g.4981 7 лет назад +8

      c stclair I am so sorry for you! Are you old enough to move away or go stay at a supportive friends house?

  • @tracylf5409
    @tracylf5409 7 месяцев назад

    Great video TY & I'm sorry you had to go through all of that horsesh1t.
    This is what I always think while watching all of these various coming-out videos/stories, where the person being told insists on not hearing you, ignoring, or pushing back against you-
    These people would be happier KNOWING that YOU are LYING to them & are MISERABLE. How sick is THAT?
    This realisation, for me, just gives me complete rights to disregard them entirely.
    PS: not speaking of people who love you and who need time to process & then come around. They are amazing. xx

  • @raymond1129
    @raymond1129 7 лет назад +3

    how you said your aunt acted around you after coming out is how my parents act constantly around me

  • @HikiibatoHada
    @HikiibatoHada 7 лет назад +2

    Yup, turns out there are good people everywhere and time is your best ally. It's a hard thing to do but worth it in the end not only for you but so the process of acceptance and change can begin for them as well.
    Also, howdy from a native Okie!

  • @MsKaddelz
    @MsKaddelz 7 лет назад +7

    Thanks for being so honest

  • @oasisluck4182
    @oasisluck4182 7 лет назад +1

    I am so absolutely happy for you! Your experience coming out and your family dynamic now is what I hope for in my future.

  • @essencegreen4556
    @essencegreen4556 7 лет назад +3

    This video was so inspirational for everyone❤️ this story is so good0

  • @lilsamantha1
    @lilsamantha1 7 лет назад

    U know what tyler you have grown on me. Ur such a sweetheart compared to other ftm people who are so vain and pretend to brush off things like it doesnt bother them. ur are one of my favorite transparent and realiest youtuber. I really appreciate how true u are. U actually show how real these issues are ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @auzzy1059
    @auzzy1059 7 лет назад +6

    You live in Oklahoma?!??!! Holy shit I love about an hour or 2 from Tulsa! 😱😱😱

    • @neeks7046
      @neeks7046 7 лет назад +1

      I live like 30 min from tulsa lol

    • @auzzy1059
      @auzzy1059 7 лет назад

      Nexus Carey small world!

    • @BatterflyHigh
      @BatterflyHigh 6 лет назад

      I'm super pumped about that too! I can't believe he's from my home state!

    • @chaoticfanboy47
      @chaoticfanboy47 5 лет назад

      Austen Matthews Have u seen or read The Outsiders

  • @Solenenyx
    @Solenenyx 5 лет назад +1

    You know, i find it very interesting how every person has to go trough a different path, like i've never had to deal with anything like that in my life, and how i've had my own little weird and confusing situations with my family and friends, and how other people have a whole different story, if that makes sense :D And even though i've not experienced this myself, i feel you. Like i wish all people are accepting, and all families were understanding.. Anyways, i am so happy that you had such a supporting mom!

  • @YourPainting1
    @YourPainting1 7 лет назад +3

    This pulled at my heart strings 😭💗

  • @medi5593
    @medi5593 5 лет назад

    I don't usually care for coming out videos, but I really appreciate how much detail you put into what you went through with your family. It's really relatable and I think you're my new favorite RUclipsr. Thanks for your videos man

  • @vincentj9115
    @vincentj9115 7 лет назад +3

    You are forever one of my heroes ty. I knew there was something different with me since I was 8 but didn't find the name to it until I was 15 (which was being trans). Even then I was afraid to tell my family. At one point when I was still 15, I outed myself to my mother but she said I was just going through a phase and those thoughts should fade.. Well, it's been 13 years since then and those thoughts only got worse. I finally outed myself to my siblings and friends at 27 and just recently started taking the steps needed. I am 28 now, about to take T soon, but I still haven't outed myself to my parents because I am still scared shitless to do so, but I know I have to tell them eventually. All my siblings keep reassuring me they'll accept it.. but that memory from 15 when I told my mother still haunts me.. What kind of words did you use and how did you approach the subject when you had to tell the people you were more nervous about telling?

  • @deanb9002
    @deanb9002 7 лет назад

    I adore you so much Tyler. i cannot even begin to explain how your videos have absolutely revolutionized my entire life. I remember first thinking I was trans and sobbing, feeling freakish and awful so I googled FTM transmen and at the time, you and maybe like three other youtubers were FTM. I watched your videos and I felt so peaceful. i saw you and thought "If he can do it so can i". you made me realize i wasn't alone. you made me feel like there was someone out there who would accept me and I can never repay you for that. thank you. thank you for sharing who you are with us. I've been on testosterone for almost two years now and I honestly think I wouldn't have come out when I did had you not been so willing to share your presence. Stay safe and stay strong and know you are so loved❤ thank you.

  • @kmturtle298
    @kmturtle298 7 лет назад +3

    Sometimes you gotta put your happiness before others!

  • @failosorus1785
    @failosorus1785 5 лет назад +2

    My mum said I'm hurting the "good development" of my sister and I could hurt the physical health of my grandparents if I speak about "that" with them. She forbidden me to bring the topic to them. I'm currently stuck in fear to hurting anyone.

    • @vixymix101
      @vixymix101 5 лет назад

      Don't be scared, tell hem

  • @InukoArashi
    @InukoArashi 7 лет назад +24

    I'm adding your channel to a resource list for my parents. I'm 34 and about to send a letter via email and come out to my family @_@

    • @ahhh4117
      @ahhh4117 3 года назад +2

      How did it go?

  • @Frog_c0rpse
    @Frog_c0rpse 5 лет назад

    I came out (FTM) to my mum a couple of days ago. I was sat on a train, said I needed to talk to her, she said she couldn't wait so I had to TEXT IT TO HER...and she turned around and said "you are my baby, you are my son. If you want to do this I will support you 100%. I love you and won't ever stop loving you. I wish we could have done this earlier so we could get the ball rolling" (i wanted to transition years ago but was terrified of losing my mum, im now 23. Boo. -.-.) And I literally started crying o the train, and I hate crying so much xD but my mum, my friends, all super supportive. So I'm hoping that this will be as smooth a journey as possible.

  • @larryhuffine2814
    @larryhuffine2814 2 года назад +3

    One of the top 3 most attractive men I have ever watched on RUclips.

  • @amaloveable
    @amaloveable 7 лет назад +4

    thank you for being so open and honest Tyler. this video made me smile. I loved this video. 💖 one of the best.

  • @Music73091
    @Music73091 7 лет назад +4

    Wow! This post is so inspiring. 😊

  • @littlefeet7295
    @littlefeet7295 3 года назад

    I personally have zero personal experience with transitioning but I have supported a few people who have. Unfortunately, it was during a time when being open and honest wasn't the mainstream. I spent hours and hours consoling my friend and wishing I could help them through this and we didn't have those resources during that time, and I have lost a few dear friends through their desire to be who they really were. That is why videos like this are very important in so many ways, it opens people's minds to some very real and painful turmoil some people go through and (hopefully) promotes understanding. The other (in my opinion the most important) it can help those who are considering or facing this transition. Even if this is the right choice for them there is a lot of questions, anxieties and unknowns. It lifts the fog surrounding some very serious and life-changing topics. So I thank you, Ty Taylor, it is people like you that are paving the way for those who are struggling, giving voices to those who couldn't speak up and as someone who lost important people through struggles like this you have no idea how important these videos are. Lastly; if anyone is going through this and needs someone to talk to, someone who won't judge them and just listen, HMU I will embrace you with nothing but love, acceptance and hugs!

  • @mahlia0076
    @mahlia0076 7 лет назад +4

    Tyler, you're gorgeous and really awesome. Thanks for posting.

  • @puparcher2764
    @puparcher2764 7 лет назад +4

    thank you so much for posting this. i have the same situation where i have a very large close flamily and lived with all of them. I am scared to death to come out to all but my mom. But this gives me hope to sometime in the near future be able to come out to them. thank you!

  • @KiritoNest
    @KiritoNest 7 лет назад +4

    this coming out video was great Ty

  • @emilydearman9925
    @emilydearman9925 5 лет назад

    I'm 15 years old, and ftm. I live in a very small town in Oklahoma, and my family is very religious. I'm still closeted but this video gives me courage.

  • @JSandwich13
    @JSandwich13 7 лет назад +7

    I came out to everyone and everyone apart from two people accept me and use male pronouns but my dad and his mum dont. she said she will never call me Calvin and that she doesn't believe in it and its agsinst her principles and religeon. She's 74 and I said that made me upset and she mocked me and said "aw does that make u sad too bad" she misgenders me and calls me my birth name. and constsmtly reminds me you cant change your birth certificate. oh well her loss

    • @TheeeDanielROfficial
      @TheeeDanielROfficial 6 лет назад

      Calvin McLaughlin ughhhh. I’m so sorry:(((((((

    • @dummydami
      @dummydami 4 года назад

      how is the situation now? hope you're doing better man

  • @jenniferstewart3700
    @jenniferstewart3700 7 лет назад +2

    Ty, thank you for sharing this story with all of us!! What a great story of love and courage!! You are such a role model for so many! I just love your channel.

  • @sky3310
    @sky3310 7 лет назад +7

    I can't wait until the day my parents decide to use my name and pronouns. i hope it's soon

  • @cadenhealey6920
    @cadenhealey6920 7 лет назад +2

    Sees Ty tear up, Tries not to cry, cries alot. Many feels