The reason why you wont change is because you think you dont deserve it💞. I've felt that way for 29 yrs. It is so hard to believe in yourself and truly do it and commit to it
We got this guys! Including me too! We're gonna lift our heads up and we're gonna be the kings and queens that God made us all to be💪I don't care who doesn't like it! I'm here for it!🎉people can talk and be jealous allllll they want to but it's okay bc God sits High and He looks low! Only He knows and sees what's going on!✨🙏💯We're Royalty, y'all💜🔥💪✨👍💅💯
Oh my God! This is me! I never seem to finish anything I start. My mum always said to me growing up and when I wanted to do something “you’ll never do that” or “ I can’t see you ever doing that” Now I’m so scared of failure I don’t try. I don’t want to prove my mother right. 😞😞
You only fail if you don´t try. And if you try, you may make mistakes, but you´ll never fail... it´s just in our heads that we fail... because even if some business idea doesn´t work out, you´ll have learned so much from that experience and especially the mistakes, that it won´t be a mistake at all... at least you will have tried and I´m sure you won´t regret it in 1 year, or 5, or 10. Best of luck to you :)
I had a similar experience growing up. There is a saying that "those that say you can't are scared that you will". This is your life. You are the one responsible for it. I realized that every time I worried if I was going to disappoint my parents, I was chained to their expectations. In order to break free, I had to start making my own decisions regardless of their opinions. There will be times where people won't be happy with your decisions, but the important thing is figuring out what you want and not letting those people's opinions hold you back from your dreams and goals.
I experienced the same thing except I went the other way. it made me not try and prove my parents point of not being able to do it. I was also discouraged from many things because of my personality they just didn't believe I could do it. I was painfully shy as a child and even my teachers discouraged me the one time I volunteered to get involved. I was really upset but I didn't realise until recently I was just constantly told by others what I could and could not do and as a result at the age of 29 I feel like I never "grew up", I never went through the phase of exploring things and discovering my likes/ dislikes and who I am as a person.
Mine started with my dad, he was emotionally abusive which sent me into a chain of abusive relationships trying to find someone who would show me the love he never did and because of the things he always said I never thought I deserved better thankfully at 30 I finally realised I was, found someone who shows me everyday that I am worth it and it changed my whole life.
This makes perfect sense about my life. I wasn’t in a bad relationship, but I grew up with an alcoholic father and whenever he drank he would go on rants and lectures about my life and never felt good enough. I am almost 30 and I finally have come to these realizations about my thinking and past behaviors
I'm almost 30 too. Feels I'm still nobody a child in grown man body was alone still feel alone will forever just asking God to take me soon how many decades of wasting on this earth
@@ruzicaremy6154 here alkoholic father and a woman beater brothers molesters school bullying other brother making me even more scared his way of helping me
my mother always told me that ever since i was born, there was no blessing in her house. I constantly hear those words in my head decades later. everytime i get close to things finally working out in life- i massively self sabotage to keep myself in a state of failure. Ive pushed myself to take action before- but eventually fall back into the same pattern. Im going to watch this video everytime I start going this way- this video is a godsend!
@@melrobbins I was in a Abusive relationship for 5 years. It was emotional and mental abuse. 1.He was my childhood frnd ,we loved each other. 2.got committed after School when i was preparing for my Medical entrance exam. 3. I failed badly in exam coz i was too much distracted,he supported me....4. I tried again but could not make it....then He also started preparation for his job...5.then after he started ignoring me ,i got into depression and anxiety.... After getting job he finally said i am his friend only. I was shattered into pieces 😐....i was a brilliant student before and then after getting with him I become a failure and he became successful.. I also left him Now i have Self doubts, Regrets of wasting 5 precious years and my parents Money I feel ashamed and worthless.. But still trying to achieve my goals✌️
I’m beginning to think you are psychic Mel. Once again you have talked about the exact thing I needed to hear this week. Although I don’t feel I was in any kind of abusive relationship at any time, I did live with parents who had high expectations of me, and I now know that my ‘thing’ is that I think I must have been a disappointment to them. They never told me that, it’s a story I made for myself and am still choosing to believe it. Thank you for bringing it to the fore this morning.
Gail Armstrong I am in the same boat... As an adult I now understand why my dad was hard on me... unfortunately the residual effects of our difficulties linger in my adulthood... stay strong!!
It's great you were able to get to the root of how that core belief was born! Try to work on forgiving yourself and forgiving them so you can move on and grow stronger :)
Stacy Rocklein thank you! I have worked through the forgiving them phase, but now I think the disappointment is mine, and not theirs, I chose to shift it to them a long time ago. That’s where I’m stuck now. That’s what I need to work on. 😊
When I was at the gym today I did this high knee marching exercise while lifting weights above my head. While I was doing the exercise I kept envisioning the weights I was lifting above my head were my life goals. It was interesting that all of a sudden the weights felt precious and my goals felt more achievable. I mean if my goals were those weights than my goals were not that far away and were achievable. Afterall they were right there over my head and I was the one holding them. Thank you for your insightful and inspiring videos.
Maria Christina thank you for reminding me of what I experienced and what I wrote. It’s so amazing the positive effect we can have in each other’s lives. Peace Maria thanks
My father was and is verbally abusive. I am almost 50yrs old and I still believe I don't deserve good things and sabatage jobs, relationships ect. I just today started a new job. I am soooo afraid I am going to do or say something or not going to do something. I started last Monday and so far I have been on time except 1x because I got lost. I know I need to be on time and do the paperwork. Thank you for your advice. I Do Deserve a job, a nice place to live and healthy relationships!!!!!!!😘
You sound like a really awesome person, wish I knew you so we could talk abt your job anxieties. I have that too, have sabotaged lots of stuff too. But also have walked from really toxic situations bc I loved myself Enough to do That anyway. But then seemed like whatever I left behind was fine, & I was the one who got hurt; stay or go. Don't know what to say abt That exactly, but I know that there must be a job/relationship/hobby I can do/enjoy/succeed at w/o feeling inadequate, so I keep at it. I'm sure your job is working out great, you might even find something you like Better Thru your current job. I hope we can train ourselves out of the negative programming; it's hard, but why Not us too?!? Why Not!! :)))
50? I'm so sorry. I myself just ask God to take me nothing changes and I don't want spend more decades in loneliness why put me on this earth to suffer. Someone more important could have taken my place instead me nobody here
Hi Mel, I really needed to listen to this. I went through extensive therapy to heal from a decade of emotional and physical abuse. In order to move forward with my life, I had to cut ties with toxic people. I realized that while I'm free from those people, I still deep down feel worthless a lot of the time because of the tapes that replay when I am not performing to my best of my abilities. Since I was a child, I was constantly told that I just didn't have the talent in math and science and was not good at anything. I used to believe those lies, but through therapy I finally understood how they deeply impeded my success. After some self reflection, I figured out that I want to get into digital marketing and want to learn more about apps. At first I dealt with a lot of self doubt. I thought, "nah I can't learn how to code. I was never good at math or science. It isn't realistic." However, I pushed through the fear and signed up for an online beginning coding class! In doing so, I showed myself that I believe I can learn this new skill! Thanks for all your videos. Your Ted X talk was really inspiring!
I experience trauma from previous work, my current relationship and still unable to overcome, I always know what to do but unable to do it. I have a job that I dream of but feel don't deserve to have it. My life is ruined because of my self sabotage. I need an action, consistent in a week for me to break this pattern of negative mind. No one will come and push me, I have to parent my self.
I know how you feel. It took me several years to get over a bad workplace environment. But in that space of time I wasted with negative thinking, the others got on with their lives not even realising or caring I imagine what their actions did to me. In the end you only sabotage yourself by not moving on and pursuing your goals. I read somewhere, "No one cares about you". Obviously people do in your life but not to the extent you can to do what you need to do to make change happen. So it is up to you. Don't let others define your everyday goals.
At age of 44 i realize that all my life was based on insomnia and depression, panick attacks etc. I used to call this all as i am highly sensitive and emotional person and this is bullshit. I did not understand how to deal with my emotions, with the World. Now Mel Robins at this age is teaching me how to manage the life. I am single Mom now and feel like i am first class student at Mels Academy.
Thank you, Mel. And to your guest in the audience for being vulnerable, and sharing her story to help others see themselves in her place. I've got some work to do! ❤️
I'm actually crying watching this because it's so true. I am literally just a year away from my dream job that I've worked damn hard for 8 years to get to and STILL 13 years out of a mainly emotionally abusive relationship I'm projecting on myself what he projected onto me. I thought I was over it. Clearly I still have some work to do on my self esteem! I love these videos so much. Thank you ❤
Not always the WORDS people have said, but the way they treat you, like you can't do anything right or you don't have anything worthwhile to contribute. There are many ways to make a child (or adult) feel small. Even a well-meaning parent can screw with a kid's head by pressing too hard or by not letting them accomplish things for themselves. I wish I could take back about 5000 impatient "Here, just let me do it"'s.
This touched me so deeply, it was jarring to be told that my behaviour patterns and incessant failure to meet expectations of my own (currently for university studying for my career as a visual artist) is because I'm deeply affected by the way my mother perceives me and my successes. She is SO dismissive of my achievements, I got my art accepted into an overseas published artist collaborated book and she didn't even bat an eye. I constantly feel UNDERWHELMED by all of the things I DO achieve so why should I ever continue to try? Obviously my work is not making considerable waves because my own mum fails to see my potential... and she's one big reason I'm even doing art, she's exposed me to it my whole life. I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship for most of my teenage years (my first boyfriend from age 16-20) my whole personality now has been formed around that partner I had and we recently broke up, I feel so empty and worthless. He called me selfish and a horrible person because I told him I couldn't spend time with him if I had homework. I was so caught up in his opinion of me that i never even got my work done in the end and he'd waste all of my time by mentally ruining me. And now I'm living alone, both my mother and my ex are largely separate from my life, but those sentiments and feelings I am so used to continue to weigh me down, and I cannot exercise self control and to even tell myself I deserve the time spent to work. Thank you so much. Now I know that it's not just me. I know that it's because of my situation and I am experiencing time of deep healing and it's going to be a process to pull myself out of it.
THANK YOU SO MUCH Mel for this information. It hit's the nail right on the head for where I find myself time and time again. It was such a vague thing that I couldn't describe - and you've nailed it. By the sound of it, many people have this running in their lives. I am so excited about doing (yes, actually 'doing') this first thing tomorrow - and finding my steps forward out of the merry-go-round of monotony... and yes, from an abusive relationship that I found the strength to leave behind 25 years longer than I should have done. THANK YOU SO MUCH, AGAIN! :)
I'm exactly the same as this person! I've been mentally abused since basically since birth by my toxic parents, I've had PTSD for 4 years, I've planed to move out for months but still haven't take much action yet. With the assistance of your video, I've just figured out that I was in a circle in the past few month. watch a beautiful movie/story, talk to someone on internet→feel happy, worthful and confident→got abused→feel sad, worthless and scared→watch... If I don't do anything, I'll never be able to have enough time to slowly build up enough confidence to move out, to get out of my comfort zone, and actually, if they abuse me even harder or something else goes wrong in this circle, I'll never getting out of here. If I want to make my life better, I need to do something, to leave right now, whether by moving out or kill myself, while I still have some courage, otherwise I'll be stuck in hell forever. I DESERVE TO NOT STUCK IN HELL, I DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE.
This video just spoke directly to me!!! I lived with my dad, who had certain expectations for me. I felt worthless all the time, it seemed like I didn't do anything right for him. He used the word "weak" and he used to be disgusted by me all the time. I resorted to over eating and over sleeping and it resulted to weight gain. I am currently not living with him anymore, and I find myself frustrated, as I am trying to self improve and loss weight, but I always go back to over-eating every time I get a little stress. It is really hard.
I hope things are getting better for you, the first step is awareness, you're now aware of your repetitive behaviour, then you can plan for a counter action. I've had something similar, I have a dad who's very demeaning in what he says, which made me feel that I was a failure and that I was undeserving. I went on taking mini action to change, back and forth and 10 years later I'm a much different person who now feels I'm good enough for all the good things I want, am also pursuing my dream life and career, with someone who loves me. Big hugs to you, it'll take some time for you to experience major change, but every single day, you'll be getting a wee bit better, and it'll all add up. 🤗🤗
This is exactly why I’ve been stuck with not working out. Being told there is no progress for years was damaging and I’m ready to defeat that negative tape
Thanx Mel exactly exactly what I needed to hear! I take it out on my 6 yrs old girl! Its sad I know and I improve things with her but then life happens and bam! Its a vicious cycle! But IAM GOING TO BREAK IT! I'LL KEEP WORKING! 💕
Nida, i do the same and then the guilt kicks in. The only way out of it is to kick our way out! Let's show our kids what a healthy and confident mom looks like!
I honestly don't know where this feeling has come from. I had wonderful parents and a great family, but I honestly don't believe I deserve nice things. I have some really cute clothes, but I wear sweats almost every day because I'm scared of ruining the beautiful clothes I have. And I feel guilty for even buying the clothes in the first place. I rarely wear makeup because I try to save money.... if I don't wear it often then I don't have to spend money on it. My husband and I are in the process of renovating our house, and it's going so slow because I honestly don't feel like I deserve to live in a beautiful home. I feel guilty about the money we are spending. My dream is to be a writer, but I continuously sabotage my writing because I feel guilty for writing when I should be doing more productive things. I feel guilty every single day about almost everything I do, and I just feel like I don't do anything right. I find myself distracting myself with TV because it's the only thing that makes me feel not guilty.... however, when the TV goes off, all the guilty feelings are even worse because I wasted all that time and didn't get anything done. Ugh.... it's a horrible vicious cycle.
@@Arkannah It's nice to know that I'm not alone. I'm really working on my guilt issues this year. I've started wearing at least minimal makeup every day and trying to wear my nice clothes at least sometimes. I've been doing Yoga With Adriene's 30 day Home series which has been awesome. I'm still struggling with writing/home I renovations, but I'm at least making progress, and I'm trying to stop guilty thoughts from taking over. I'm sorry your family is only half wonderful.
Thank you for this Mel Robbins! I just had this phone call with a friend and know so many people who are crippled in their growth because of this. Game changer!!
I needed to hear this tonight! Thank you! Brilliant!! I found out EXACTLY why I have been procrastinating on things I feel are most important to me... the source came from two places: my stepdad who molested me for many years.. he told me all the time that i would never amount to anything because I procrastinate.. also, I am a Taurus and I heard all the time from astrology that Tauruses are the laziest sign of all... now, I have a NEW MANTRA. What I will start saying to myself is: I AM TIRELESSLY HARDWORKING!! And I will start taking action NOW ON THIS!! Thank you so much for helping me to see my blocks!!! Yaaaaaaayyy!!!
Thank you, Mel. I think for a long time I pushed away the idea of mental and emotional abuse. Particularly because it was a supervisor that was doing it and would do it in a weird way. He would create a narrative to point out that I couldn't do things based on how he thought he was better than me. This went on for 8 years. I mostly tried to keep my head down and just get my work done. But after all that time it exploded to the point were it was very clear that he never had any respect for me. Meantime, I respected him and I thought that because he was my supervisor that he knew better. I think it was mostly due to the work environment (scientific research and academia). I don't currently have a way to afford therapy. But it's videos like this that allow me to access resources to battle the self doubt and feeling of worthlessness that has been left residual of my experience. One of the things I regret the most is not standing up for myself and letting him bully me.
Mel this was incredible content that I surely needed to hear. It’s been extremely hard for me the last few weeks mentally and this hit it on the head. Thank you for the empowering content!
This CD is absolutely wonderful! ruclips.net/user/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq I liked it so much that I bought a copy for my sister who also liked it. It is very well done. I like the fact that there is nothing in the background to disturb - no music. I am able to concentrate on the various steps of meditation. The pauses are perfect, and him's voice is soothing and encouraging. I would highly recommend this, especially for beginners. I think I will always be a beginner.
I get this so much... I started feeling like I don't deserve happiness when I started feeling like I don't deserve love from the person I loved... But I really liked that person so I told myself I know what I have to do to feel like I deserve love... And I need to start doing it now because next time I fall in love I want to be able to ask it from them... I wasn't trying at all for life. Wasting my time, burying my mind in shows and video games. I am not perfect but... I'm not "trying" for life, I'm "doing" for life. I'm putting myself through the process. And there's no trying because I don't intend to fail... I know now the effort will never stop. My goal is to start by making it into a habit. Waking up, working out, working... I have to play the game of life if I want to succeed. If I want the happiness this world has to offer me... I have to appreciate and respect it first, then work for it... I'm just coming out of a very life changing realisation... I spoke with myself and I'm feeling quite bitter at the moment... So I just felt like writing something down to remind myself the lesson I learnt at so many costs... I tend to break my limits until I feel the danger in order to make a decision... I'm such a slow learner and I fear it might be the death of me... But I'm here, willing to spend my life changing this... Good luck to anyone out there who might've read this.
Wow, thank you Mel! I've just realized that there is a believe I have about myself, wich impacted and explanes every single relationship and 80% of the dicisions I did (or mostly didn't) make in the past ten years. It's unbelievable.
You are a muse. Now two years after my separation, I have still not taking off nor blossom. I am holding back soooo tight. Scared and paralysed. Doubting every step and feeling powerless. I rewrite everything you say, I listen over and over. My time will come. Action today. Gotta do it and believe that I deserve it.
Anyone a Cult survivor? I was a JW and this is what I struggle with as they always that we were "never" good enough and that we are always imperfect until we get into Paradise. It had more impact than I ever imagined. It's a huge wall of "I don't deserve it" in so many scenarios...
holy sh**. I just wrote this in my mindset reset in my self worth section about something I want to work on. I realized that it wasn't because I'm inherently lazy (because I'm not). I always been a hardworker for other people. Even in terms of getting straight As and going to college at 16. It was never completely for myself. And I realized that the reason I'm not reaching for my goals is I somehow convinced myself I wasn't worth the amount of effort it's going to take to succeed. I seriously didn't realize this until I was filling out my 2018 portion of the #mindsetreset Well that mindset is defiantly going to get reset
I havent taken a vacation in 13years from work, I went to work for two weeks when my best friend my dad was on his death bed at the hospital and never missed a day of work. I worked 60-70 hours a week for 3 years straight 6-7 days a week. Mel keep making youtube vids from your speeches its not just women that you are helping with this content. Great vid, its nice to see a females perspective on things.
I like her approach to ACTION. Sadly, the COVID PANDEMIC is preventing us from doing a lot of ACTION, which is why there is an increase in DEPRESSION everywhere.
True. I guess within our rooms and spaces.. There are still oppportutiee we can do some action. From exercise to meditation to cooking to online learning to reading to connecting with friends. Still room to take action
Chatting yesterday to someone regarding business women that come into the studio. There is generally always a problem with their behavior. They just start bossing around, because that's what they do all. But in other situations it comes across as completely in appropriate.
I like that she pointed out not to improve in isolation because it's exactly what I'm trying to do, but I would like to hear more about how I can improve myself with others helping me? Like, how do I open myself up to changing in front of people? I guess I'm so afraid to make mistakes along the way in a public manner to where I try to hide my self improvement until I feel like I've improved enough to show it, but it is certainly harder that way. I guess for me I was told who I am by my father for so long that it's hard to be my own person.
*Very* , *very* powerful message. Thank you for this, Mel. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for sharing your gift to the world. You are a blessing to everyone. *Thank you* .
This video has changed it a few months ago. I was in a very abusive relationship with my parents and then with my exhusband. It made me realize that I was just copying what others did to me. By now I have found an exercise by Marie Sheldon that helped me solve these beliefs I didnt know I had about myself, dozens of them. You should check her out. She seems esoteric (which I am not) but she's worth your time. I knew I had blockages and never knew ow to solve them. Now I do.
So good to go to hear when u doubt yourself listen to Mel motivate yourself . Better than masking with doctors medication listen to your gut inscint. You deserve to move on and let things go baby steps . BE
I have been spinning wheels for a week. Since I read your book. 54321 move! Isay! And sometimes I really get going. But the big stuff? My big goals? Im paralyzed. And not liking myself. And then there you go Mel. You really, really gave me that aha! I got it answer today. The abuse is over I won't stand for it. But boy can I be mean to myself. Youve given me the realization that I dont have to stand for that either. I feel so fricking relieved right this minute I just had to tell you. Thank you Mel!
I feel like idnt deserves success, as u explained it i started.crying because abused by my father.i got a though childhood,my Other passed when i was a baby my whole life was hard.got to go hide in a corner dnt want my kids to see me crying like that.i luv ur channel
Powerful and True! I LOVE Divine Timing!! I went though the same thing and last year I got a life/business coach and that has been a blessing so that I can "Get out of my head" and "Do the Action steps" to building my business! It FEELS GREAT!! Thank you for sharing!! HUGS!!
Wow! this was super helpful and right on target for what I'm going through in my work and personal life story as well. Thanks so much Mel!!! As always, you're awesome!!!
Mel Robbins I've watched lots of motivational videos in my life and I've had some success. but to have you explain the reasoning behind everything really clarifies it and is helping me put myself back together. Thank you so much ❤️
It really does relate a lot. To me it was all the “ what a disappointment ! I thought she was so intelligent but it was just a random happening” and being bullied cause I liked reading at school. Plus all the you will never be able to do that, I really don’t see you doing that, you don’t even know what it takes. All the pressure from the you could be doing more, lead to a constant fear of disappointing people and self sabotage, cause if people stop expecting so much from you then you won’t risk disappointing them.
Make yourself a priority! Ask - what do i want? Then go for it, even if you fail, you will know that you valued yourself enough to take an action for yourself! For your happiness, this is how you are telling to yourself that you worth it!
Thank you so much for this. I already changed a lot but i struggle with keeping myself positive and i do 10 things that i never thought i will do but just because 1 of them perhaps didnt do that well i got demotivated... Also i abuse myself. No one is saying anything bad about me but myself and that reflects to others. It's incredible how difficult can become sometimes!! As i said thank you so much! Saludos desde Argentina! (Salutations from arg.)
First comment ever. The advice I’ve been in need for so long... Now I understand that all the frustration and procrastination I’m experiencing is because I don’t trust myself. Really, I am starting to notice that in my head, I just can’t rely on myself. Really helpful. I’ll be taking overthinkingless action every day for 7 days. I think it’s really important to return the self-trust. It’s probably the most harmful problem I’m dealing with at the moment which causes all the other shit. Thanks again!
I needed this Thank you!♥️ I’ve been verbally abused mentally abused my entire life n been called an idiot n dummy I can’t move forward now that I have gain so much weight:/
It was also pointed out to me that tone of my voice is badly perceived by my partner, it triggered a lot of arguments in the past. I need to work on it. The obstacle is that english isn't my first language but I have to use it. Thanks Mel, great fan of yours. Keep up the great work.
"Trying to self improve in isolation." Broke my brain!!! Story of my life.
3yrs later.... I hope you’re doing well & have your village of positive supporters.
going through it rn
Oof me too
Damn, me right now
Truth for me!
The reason why you wont change is because you think you dont deserve it💞. I've felt that way for 29 yrs. It is so hard to believe in yourself and truly do it and commit to it
True!😔
But it's true. I don't deserve or capable of accepting and getting it
True, I am 29 and I feel the same 😔
Im I’m the same position. I hope you believe in yourself now ✨
We got this guys! Including me too! We're gonna lift our heads up and we're gonna be the kings and queens that God made us all to be💪I don't care who doesn't like it! I'm here for it!🎉people can talk and be jealous allllll they want to but it's okay bc God sits High and He looks low! Only He knows and sees what's going on!✨🙏💯We're Royalty, y'all💜🔥💪✨👍💅💯
Oh my God! This is me! I never seem to finish anything I start. My mum always said to me growing up and when I wanted to do something “you’ll never do that” or “ I can’t see you ever doing that” Now I’m so scared of failure I don’t try. I don’t want to prove my mother right. 😞😞
You only fail if you don´t try. And if you try, you may make mistakes, but you´ll never fail... it´s just in our heads that we fail... because even if some business idea doesn´t work out, you´ll have learned so much from that experience and especially the mistakes, that it won´t be a mistake at all... at least you will have tried and I´m sure you won´t regret it in 1 year, or 5, or 10. Best of luck to you :)
I so feel the same... this vid helped me though its a stepping stone
This exactly. So scared of failure that I don’t even try. I already failed in my head.
I had a similar experience growing up. There is a saying that "those that say you can't are scared that you will". This is your life. You are the one responsible for it. I realized that every time I worried if I was going to disappoint my parents, I was chained to their expectations. In order to break free, I had to start making my own decisions regardless of their opinions. There will be times where people won't be happy with your decisions, but the important thing is figuring out what you want and not letting those people's opinions hold you back from your dreams and goals.
I experienced the same thing except I went the other way. it made me not try and prove my parents point of not being able to do it. I was also discouraged from many things because of my personality they just didn't believe I could do it. I was painfully shy as a child and even my teachers discouraged me the one time I volunteered to get involved. I was really upset but I didn't realise until recently I was just constantly told by others what I could and could not do and as a result at the age of 29 I feel like I never "grew up", I never went through the phase of exploring things and discovering my likes/ dislikes and who I am as a person.
As a survivor of emotional abuse, I am so grateful that Mel Robbins is sharing her wisdom on this topic. I know that so many people need to hear this.
Yes allow your brain to recover and you deserve to be happy and focused best wishes.
Exactly what I feel
She's telling the truth. A lot of it is our parents. Mine is or was.
Unfortunately.
You look like a adult. If you still live with your parents, get out. Then take responsibility of your own feelings. NOW!!!
Same here, but it is time to change
Let's hope to do better with our kids, but let's not forget to honor them as parents or to take responsibility for our own future.
Mine started with my dad, he was emotionally abusive which sent me into a chain of abusive relationships trying to find someone who would show me the love he never did and because of the things he always said I never thought I deserved better thankfully at 30 I finally realised I was, found someone who shows me everyday that I am worth it and it changed my whole life.
5:03 "I don't think there's anybody in your life but you that's saying it." like WOAH
I don't think im not good enough, I just always think I could be doing more than im doing so I never feel like I deserve to be carefree/happy.
Fear of success is a real thing it's why many people myself included subconsciously or consciously self sabotage
This makes perfect sense about my life. I wasn’t in a bad relationship, but I grew up with an alcoholic father and whenever he drank he would go on rants and lectures about my life and never felt good enough. I am almost 30 and I finally have come to these realizations about my thinking and past behaviors
I'm almost 30 too. Feels I'm still nobody a child in grown man body was alone still feel alone will forever just asking God to take me soon how many decades of wasting on this earth
@@rol407 i feel you, you are not alone. Find some people to support you! Best of luck!
Same here, alcoholic father and narcissistic Mother. So much emotional abuse throughout growing up years..
@@ruzicaremy6154 here alkoholic father and a woman beater brothers molesters school bullying other brother making me even more scared his way of helping me
Same here and three abusive relationships 💔
Like Julia said in Pretty Women, the negative stuff is easier to believe.
Truth.
Woman*
finally i have a reason to watch pretty women
omg this!! always have related to this line
Sad but true.
Self confidence begins with positive self talk! Thank you, Today, I take action!
my mother always told me that ever since i was born, there was no blessing in her house. I constantly hear those words in my head decades later. everytime i get close to things finally working out in life- i massively self sabotage to keep myself in a state of failure. Ive pushed myself to take action before- but eventually fall back into the same pattern. Im going to watch this video everytime I start going this way- this video is a godsend!
This video spoke to me on a cellular level. Thank you for posting this.
cellular! that's cool :) thanks for watching!
@@melrobbins I was in a Abusive relationship for 5 years. It was emotional and mental abuse. 1.He was my childhood frnd ,we loved each other. 2.got committed after School when i was preparing for my Medical entrance exam.
3. I failed badly in exam coz i was too much distracted,he supported me....4. I tried again but could not make it....then He also started preparation for his job...5.then after he started ignoring me ,i got into depression and anxiety.... After getting job he finally said i am his friend only.
I was shattered into pieces 😐....i was a brilliant student before and then after getting with him I become a failure and he became successful..
I also left him
Now i have Self doubts, Regrets of wasting 5 precious years and my parents Money I feel ashamed and worthless..
But still trying to achieve my goals✌️
I’m beginning to think you are psychic Mel. Once again you have talked about the exact thing I needed to hear this week. Although I don’t feel I was in any kind of abusive relationship at any time, I did live with parents who had high expectations of me, and I now know that my ‘thing’ is that I think I must have been a disappointment to them. They never told me that, it’s a story I made for myself and am still choosing to believe it. Thank you for bringing it to the fore this morning.
Gail Armstrong I am in the same boat... As an adult I now understand why my dad was hard on me... unfortunately the residual effects of our difficulties linger in my adulthood... stay strong!!
It's great you were able to get to the root of how that core belief was born! Try to work on forgiving yourself and forgiving them so you can move on and grow stronger :)
Stacy Rocklein thank you! I have worked through the forgiving them phase, but now I think the disappointment is mine, and not theirs, I chose to shift it to them a long time ago. That’s where I’m stuck now. That’s what I need to work on. 😊
So happy you had this moment of clarity. I promise your parents are not disappointed xo
I have gone through this same thing
When I was at the gym today I did this high knee marching exercise while lifting weights above my head. While I was doing the exercise I kept envisioning the weights I was lifting above my head were my life goals. It was interesting that all of a sudden the weights felt precious and my goals felt more achievable. I mean if my goals were those weights than my goals were not that far away and were achievable. Afterall they were right there over my head and I was the one holding them. Thank you for your insightful and inspiring videos.
Maria Christina thank you for reminding me of what I experienced and what I wrote. It’s so amazing the positive effect we can have in each other’s lives. Peace Maria thanks
Maria Christina thank you. I know you have what it takes as well. Onward and upward! Peace and love to you
Good visioning.
My father was and is verbally abusive. I am almost 50yrs old and I still believe I don't deserve good things and sabatage jobs, relationships ect. I just today started a new job. I am soooo afraid I am going to do or say something or not going to do something. I started last Monday and so far I have been on time except 1x because I got lost. I know I need to be on time and do the paperwork. Thank you for your advice. I Do Deserve a job, a nice place to live and healthy relationships!!!!!!!😘
You sound like a really awesome person, wish I knew you so we could talk abt your job anxieties. I have that too, have sabotaged lots of stuff too. But also have walked from really toxic situations bc I loved myself Enough to do That anyway. But then seemed like whatever I left behind was fine, & I was the one who got hurt; stay or go. Don't know what to say abt That exactly, but I know that there must be a job/relationship/hobby I can do/enjoy/succeed at w/o feeling inadequate, so I keep at it. I'm sure your job is working out great, you might even find something you like Better Thru your current job. I hope we can train ourselves out of the negative programming; it's hard, but why Not us too?!? Why Not!! :)))
I'm the master of self sabatoge.
50? I'm so sorry. I myself just ask God to take me nothing changes and I don't want spend more decades in loneliness why put me on this earth to suffer. Someone more important could have taken my place instead me nobody here
True.. Mine was "You don't deserve to have anything that I don't have" I still struggle with it. I need physical evidence that I deserve it👐🏽
Good advice! A decade of "Spinning in Place"
Laura Laine me
Same
Yeah, and will continue to spin
Hi Mel, I really needed to listen to this. I went through extensive therapy to heal from a decade of emotional and physical abuse. In order to move forward with my life, I had to cut ties with toxic people. I realized that while I'm free from those people, I still deep down feel worthless a lot of the time because of the tapes that replay when I am not performing to my best of my abilities. Since I was a child, I was constantly told that I just didn't have the talent in math and science and was not good at anything. I used to believe those lies, but through therapy I finally understood how they deeply impeded my success. After some self reflection, I figured out that I want to get into digital marketing and want to learn more about apps. At first I dealt with a lot of self doubt. I thought, "nah I can't learn how to code. I was never good at math or science. It isn't realistic." However, I pushed through the fear and signed up for an online beginning coding class! In doing so, I showed myself that I believe I can learn this new skill! Thanks for all your videos. Your Ted X talk was really inspiring!
“(Don’t) try to change in isolation.” ~ Mel Robbins. 🙌🏻
I experience trauma from previous work, my current relationship and still unable to overcome, I always know what to do but unable to do it. I have a job that I dream of but feel don't deserve to have it. My life is ruined because of my self sabotage. I need an action, consistent in a week for me to break this pattern of negative mind. No one will come and push me, I have to parent my self.
I know how you feel. It took me several years to get over a bad workplace environment. But in that space of time I wasted with negative thinking, the others got on with their lives not even realising or caring I imagine what their actions did to me. In the end you only sabotage yourself by not moving on and pursuing your goals. I read somewhere, "No one cares about you". Obviously people do in your life but not to the extent you can to do what you need to do to make change happen. So it is up to you. Don't let others define your everyday goals.
At age of 44 i realize that all my life was based on insomnia and depression, panick attacks etc. I used to call this all as i am highly sensitive and emotional person and this is bullshit. I did not understand how to deal with my emotions, with the World. Now Mel Robins at this age is teaching me how to manage the life. I am single Mom now and feel like i am first class student at Mels Academy.
Thank you, Mel. And to your guest in the audience for being vulnerable, and sharing her story to help others see themselves in her place. I've got some work to do! ❤️
This literally brought tears...thank you Mel.
Holy shit - 1 minute in and I already feel like she’s talking exactly about MY life!
I'm actually crying watching this because it's so true. I am literally just a year away from my dream job that I've worked damn hard for 8 years to get to and STILL 13 years out of a mainly emotionally abusive relationship I'm projecting on myself what he projected onto me. I thought I was over it. Clearly I still have some work to do on my self esteem! I love these videos so much. Thank you ❤
Yes i feel guilt about myself and I feel I dont deserve things.
Same I wish get some pills and sleep forever
I never thought about it like this before. I need to let go of the past.
I haven’t even finished this video and you have no idea how much you are helping people... I’m so grateful I found this really changed my life...
Omg! All of this! 😭 really needed to watch this. Thank you
I don't think there is anyone else now who says your not worth it apart from you..... you know Mel, you're right xxx
Not always the WORDS people have said, but the way they treat you, like you can't do anything right or you don't have anything worthwhile to contribute. There are many ways to make a child (or adult) feel small. Even a well-meaning parent can screw with a kid's head by pressing too hard or by not letting them accomplish things for themselves. I wish I could take back about 5000 impatient "Here, just let me do it"'s.
I am literally in tears, this resonates so much with me, and it is really helping me through a hard time right now. thank you.
Omg. This connected. My childhood, I do to myself what I felt others were doing to me as a kid. Holy shit
Realizing old, unhelpful patterns are great, right? Now, you can make a good change.
It’s like this message was a pure godsend that happen to be in my feed at the same time I decided to look... crazy.
This touched me so deeply, it was jarring to be told that my behaviour patterns and incessant failure to meet expectations of my own (currently for university studying for my career as a visual artist) is because I'm deeply affected by the way my mother perceives me and my successes. She is SO dismissive of my achievements, I got my art accepted into an overseas published artist collaborated book and she didn't even bat an eye. I constantly feel UNDERWHELMED by all of the things I DO achieve so why should I ever continue to try? Obviously my work is not making considerable waves because my own mum fails to see my potential... and she's one big reason I'm even doing art, she's exposed me to it my whole life. I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship for most of my teenage years (my first boyfriend from age 16-20) my whole personality now has been formed around that partner I had and we recently broke up, I feel so empty and worthless. He called me selfish and a horrible person because I told him I couldn't spend time with him if I had homework. I was so caught up in his opinion of me that i never even got my work done in the end and he'd waste all of my time by mentally ruining me. And now I'm living alone, both my mother and my ex are largely separate from my life, but those sentiments and feelings I am so used to continue to weigh me down, and I cannot exercise self control and to even tell myself I deserve the time spent to work.
Thank you so much. Now I know that it's not just me. I know that it's because of my situation and I am experiencing time of deep healing and it's going to be a process to pull myself out of it.
It's so important the tone of the voice, the way you make empathy with people. Thank you!
Ok, Jordan Peterson is my father figure, and now you, dear madam, is my mother figure. It was a very clear and true message. Thank you a lot!
I love this and I agree!
THANK YOU SO MUCH Mel for this information. It hit's the nail right on the head for where I find myself time and time again. It was such a vague thing that I couldn't describe - and you've nailed it. By the sound of it, many people have this running in their lives. I am so excited about doing (yes, actually 'doing') this first thing tomorrow - and finding my steps forward out of the merry-go-round of monotony... and yes, from an abusive relationship that I found the strength to leave behind 25 years longer than I should have done. THANK YOU SO MUCH, AGAIN! :)
I'm exactly the same as this person! I've been mentally abused since basically since birth by my toxic parents, I've had PTSD for 4 years, I've planed to move out for months but still haven't take much action yet. With the assistance of your video, I've just figured out that I was in a circle in the past few month.
watch a beautiful movie/story, talk to someone on internet→feel happy, worthful and confident→got abused→feel sad, worthless and scared→watch...
If I don't do anything, I'll never be able to have enough time to slowly build up enough confidence to move out, to get out of my comfort zone, and actually, if they abuse me even harder or something else goes wrong in this circle, I'll never getting out of here. If I want to make my life better, I need to do something, to leave right now, whether by moving out or kill myself, while I still have some courage, otherwise I'll be stuck in hell forever. I DESERVE TO NOT STUCK IN HELL, I DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE.
Definitely move out best life decision you can make and stay out... Support yourself with a job. You got this
Very best wishes and yes allow yourself to move on be focused happy and enjoying life.
How are you doing now?
I grew up in an abusive home where I was told that I was stupid and unlovable it has crippled my life
This video just spoke directly to me!!! I lived with my dad, who had certain expectations for me. I felt worthless all the time, it seemed like I didn't do anything right for him. He used the word "weak" and he used to be disgusted by me all the time. I resorted to over eating and over sleeping and it resulted to weight gain. I am currently not living with him anymore, and I find myself frustrated, as I am trying to self improve and loss weight, but I always go back to over-eating every time I get a little stress. It is really hard.
I hope things are getting better for you, the first step is awareness, you're now aware of your repetitive behaviour, then you can plan for a counter action. I've had something similar, I have a dad who's very demeaning in what he says, which made me feel that I was a failure and that I was undeserving. I went on taking mini action to change, back and forth and 10 years later I'm a much different person who now feels I'm good enough for all the good things I want, am also pursuing my dream life and career, with someone who loves me. Big hugs to you, it'll take some time for you to experience major change, but every single day, you'll be getting a wee bit better, and it'll all add up. 🤗🤗
This is exactly why I’ve been stuck with not working out. Being told there is no progress for years was damaging and I’m ready to defeat that negative tape
Thanx Mel exactly exactly what I needed to hear! I take it out on my 6 yrs old girl! Its sad I know and I improve things with her but then life happens and bam! Its a vicious cycle! But IAM GOING TO BREAK IT! I'LL KEEP WORKING! 💕
you will break it if you keep working xo
Nida, i do the same and then the guilt kicks in.
The only way out of it is to kick our way out! Let's show our kids what a healthy and confident mom looks like!
Resonated 100%
I agree!
So powerful! Hit me today in the nicest possible way. In tears. Revelation! Thank you.
I honestly don't know where this feeling has come from. I had wonderful parents and a great family, but I honestly don't believe I deserve nice things. I have some really cute clothes, but I wear sweats almost every day because I'm scared of ruining the beautiful clothes I have. And I feel guilty for even buying the clothes in the first place. I rarely wear makeup because I try to save money.... if I don't wear it often then I don't have to spend money on it. My husband and I are in the process of renovating our house, and it's going so slow because I honestly don't feel like I deserve to live in a beautiful home. I feel guilty about the money we are spending. My dream is to be a writer, but I continuously sabotage my writing because I feel guilty for writing when I should be doing more productive things. I feel guilty every single day about almost everything I do, and I just feel like I don't do anything right. I find myself distracting myself with TV because it's the only thing that makes me feel not guilty.... however, when the TV goes off, all the guilty feelings are even worse because I wasted all that time and didn't get anything done. Ugh.... it's a horrible vicious cycle.
I can totally relate, but in my case family is just half wonderful :).
@@Arkannah It's nice to know that I'm not alone. I'm really working on my guilt issues this year. I've started wearing at least minimal makeup every day and trying to wear my nice clothes at least sometimes. I've been doing Yoga With Adriene's 30 day Home series which has been awesome. I'm still struggling with writing/home I renovations, but I'm at least making progress, and I'm trying to stop guilty thoughts from taking over. I'm sorry your family is only half wonderful.
Thank you for this Mel Robbins! I just had this phone call with a friend and know so many people who are crippled in their growth because of this. Game changer!!
I needed to hear this tonight! Thank you! Brilliant!! I found out EXACTLY why I have been procrastinating on things I feel are most important to me... the source came from two places: my stepdad who molested me for many years.. he told me all the time that i would never amount to anything because I procrastinate.. also, I am a Taurus and I heard all the time from astrology that Tauruses are the laziest sign of all... now, I have a NEW MANTRA. What I will start saying to myself is: I AM TIRELESSLY HARDWORKING!! And I will start taking action NOW ON THIS!! Thank you so much for helping me to see my blocks!!! Yaaaaaaayyy!!!
Thank you, Mel. I think for a long time I pushed away the idea of mental and emotional abuse. Particularly because it was a supervisor that was doing it and would do it in a weird way. He would create a narrative to point out that I couldn't do things based on how he thought he was better than me. This went on for 8 years. I mostly tried to keep my head down and just get my work done. But after all that time it exploded to the point were it was very clear that he never had any respect for me. Meantime, I respected him and I thought that because he was my supervisor that he knew better. I think it was mostly due to the work environment (scientific research and academia). I don't currently have a way to afford therapy. But it's videos like this that allow me to access resources to battle the self doubt and feeling of worthlessness that has been left residual of my experience. One of the things I regret the most is not standing up for myself and letting him bully me.
Well, never thought I would say this, but I may just want to watch a daytime t.v. show now. This lady drops hard-earned wisdom.
Mel this was incredible content that I surely needed to hear. It’s been extremely hard for me the last few weeks mentally and this hit it on the head. Thank you for the empowering content!
I got so emotional hearing this, this was extremely profound. Favorited this and need to listen to this over and over every day.
This CD is absolutely wonderful! ruclips.net/user/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq I liked it so much that I bought a copy for my sister who also liked it. It is very well done. I like the fact that there is nothing in the background to disturb - no music. I am able to concentrate on the various steps of meditation. The pauses are perfect, and him's voice is soothing and encouraging. I would highly recommend this, especially for beginners. I think I will always be a beginner.
She is the sister i wish i had..
I was thinking parent 🙄
I get this so much... I started feeling like I don't deserve happiness when I started feeling like I don't deserve love from the person I loved... But I really liked that person so I told myself I know what I have to do to feel like I deserve love... And I need to start doing it now because next time I fall in love I want to be able to ask it from them... I wasn't trying at all for life. Wasting my time, burying my mind in shows and video games. I am not perfect but... I'm not "trying" for life, I'm "doing" for life. I'm putting myself through the process. And there's no trying because I don't intend to fail... I know now the effort will never stop. My goal is to start by making it into a habit. Waking up, working out, working... I have to play the game of life if I want to succeed. If I want the happiness this world has to offer me... I have to appreciate and respect it first, then work for it... I'm just coming out of a very life changing realisation... I spoke with myself and I'm feeling quite bitter at the moment... So I just felt like writing something down to remind myself the lesson I learnt at so many costs... I tend to break my limits until I feel the danger in order to make a decision... I'm such a slow learner and I fear it might be the death of me... But I'm here, willing to spend my life changing this... Good luck to anyone out there who might've read this.
Oh my God! This is so incredibly spot on! Love the Russian language example. It hit home.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!👍❤
This is the first time I can actually watch and listen to these videos, so I watch this one over and over again.
You're awesome Mel thanks for the straight to the point no B.S. and no pretending. ❤
I had so many "ah ha" moments during this... Love this woman!
Wow, thank you Mel! I've just realized that there is a believe I have about myself, wich impacted and explanes every single relationship and 80% of the dicisions I did (or mostly didn't) make in the past ten years. It's unbelievable.
Omgosh!!! I don’t hear the TONE either! I can even be trying and thinking in my head that it is better and they look at me and say, really?, no.
I just love her!!❤️❤️so smart and make it easier to put in action! Thank you soo much Mel!!🙏🏻❤️
Oh my God! Mel this is so spot on with me! Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency oh God! I am tearing up
You are a muse. Now two years after my separation, I have still not taking off nor blossom. I am holding back soooo tight. Scared and paralysed. Doubting every step and feeling powerless. I rewrite everything you say, I listen over and over. My time will come. Action today. Gotta do it and believe that I deserve it.
Anyone a Cult survivor? I was a JW and this is what I struggle with as they always that we were "never" good enough and that we are always imperfect until we get into Paradise. It had more impact than I ever imagined. It's a huge wall of "I don't deserve it" in so many scenarios...
This made me cry 😭 Thank you !!
Same thank you
holy sh**. I just wrote this in my mindset reset in my self worth section about something I want to work on. I realized that it wasn't because I'm inherently lazy (because I'm not). I always been a hardworker for other people. Even in terms of getting straight As and going to college at 16. It was never completely for myself. And I realized that the reason I'm not reaching for my goals is I somehow convinced myself I wasn't worth the amount of effort it's going to take to succeed. I seriously didn't realize this until I was filling out my 2018 portion of the #mindsetreset Well that mindset is defiantly going to get reset
I havent taken a vacation in 13years from work, I went to work for two weeks when my best friend my dad was on his death bed at the hospital and never missed a day of work. I worked 60-70 hours a week for 3 years straight 6-7 days a week. Mel keep making youtube vids from your speeches its not just women that you are helping with this content. Great vid, its nice to see a females perspective on things.
I like her approach to ACTION. Sadly, the COVID PANDEMIC is preventing us from doing a lot of ACTION, which is why there is an increase in DEPRESSION everywhere.
True. I guess within our rooms and spaces.. There are still oppportutiee we can do some action. From exercise to meditation to cooking to online learning to reading to connecting with friends. Still room to take action
"Only 2" abusive relationships, she says?! Damn...
Chatting yesterday to someone regarding business women that come into the studio. There is generally always a problem with their behavior. They just start bossing around, because that's what they do all. But in other situations it comes across as completely in appropriate.
Thank you so much. I've spent most of my life so far trying to understand why I don't move forward!
For anyone who is watching this..I highly recommend you read the book The courage to be diskliked. It’s life changing.
I like that she pointed out not to improve in isolation because it's exactly what I'm trying to do, but I would like to hear more about how I can improve myself with others helping me? Like, how do I open myself up to changing in front of people? I guess I'm so afraid to make mistakes along the way in a public manner to where I try to hide my self improvement until I feel like I've improved enough to show it, but it is certainly harder that way. I guess for me I was told who I am by my father for so long that it's hard to be my own person.
I love this woman
I wish she was my mother
*Very* , *very* powerful message. Thank you for this, Mel. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for sharing your gift to the world. You are a blessing to everyone. *Thank you* .
This video has changed it a few months ago. I was in a very abusive relationship with my parents and then with my exhusband.
It made me realize that I was just copying what others did to me.
By now I have found an exercise by Marie Sheldon that helped me solve these beliefs I didnt know I had about myself, dozens of them. You should check her out. She seems esoteric (which I am not) but she's worth your time.
I knew I had blockages and never knew ow to solve them. Now I do.
So good to go to hear when u doubt yourself listen to Mel motivate yourself . Better than masking with doctors medication listen to your gut inscint. You deserve to move on and let things go baby steps . BE
I have been spinning wheels for a week. Since I read your book. 54321 move! Isay! And sometimes I really get going. But the big stuff? My big goals? Im paralyzed. And not liking myself.
And then there you go Mel. You really, really gave me that aha! I got it answer today. The abuse is over I won't stand for it. But boy can I be mean to myself. Youve given me the realization that I dont have to stand for that either. I feel so fricking relieved right this minute I just had to tell you. Thank you Mel!
I feel like idnt deserves success, as u explained it i started.crying because abused by my father.i got a though childhood,my
Other passed when i was a baby my whole life was hard.got to go hide in a corner dnt want my kids to see me crying like that.i luv ur channel
Powerful and True! I LOVE Divine Timing!! I went though the same thing and last year I got a life/business coach and that has been a blessing so that I can "Get out of my head" and "Do the Action steps" to building my business! It FEELS GREAT!! Thank you for sharing!! HUGS!!
Wow! this was super helpful and right on target for what I'm going through in my work and personal life story as well. Thanks so much Mel!!! As always, you're awesome!!!
Mel Robbins I've watched lots of motivational videos in my life and I've had some success. but to have you explain the reasoning behind everything really clarifies it and is helping me put myself back together. Thank you so much ❤️
This was spot on for me! Love your 5 second rule audiobook. I listen to it everyday!
It really does relate a lot. To me it was all the “ what a disappointment ! I thought she was so intelligent but it was just a random happening” and being bullied cause I liked reading at school. Plus all the you will never be able to do that, I really don’t see you doing that, you don’t even know what it takes. All the pressure from the you could be doing more, lead to a constant fear of disappointing people and self sabotage, cause if people stop expecting so much from you then you won’t risk disappointing them.
This reminded me bringing back to the time I come from divorced parents. They were emotionally abusive towards me 😭
You are amazing! Thank you! Wish you all the best in your life!
Make yourself a priority! Ask - what do i want? Then go for it, even if you fail, you will know that you valued yourself enough to take an action for yourself! For your happiness, this is how you are telling to yourself that you worth it!
Love you Mel. You are my spiritual guide.
vijaya reddy Some have a Wolf or an Eagle, our Mama Bear is Mel. 😎
Thank you so much for this. I already changed a lot but i struggle with keeping myself positive and i do 10 things that i never thought i will do but just because 1 of them perhaps didnt do that well i got demotivated... Also i abuse myself. No one is saying anything bad about me but myself and that reflects to others. It's incredible how difficult can become sometimes!! As i said thank you so much!
Saludos desde Argentina! (Salutations from arg.)
Please never leave this planet! You are so amazing!
Thank You! When the student is ready, a teacher will appear! Just what the doctor ordered! Thank You again!!!
for all your videos...thank you for helping me choose MY OWN LIFE.
Thank You Mel. You have no idea how much you've helped me overcome one of my many personal issues.
First comment ever. The advice I’ve been in need for so long... Now I understand that all the frustration and procrastination I’m experiencing is because I don’t trust myself. Really, I am starting to notice that in my head, I just can’t rely on myself. Really helpful. I’ll be taking overthinkingless action every day for 7 days. I think it’s really important to return the self-trust. It’s probably the most harmful problem I’m dealing with at the moment which causes all the other shit. Thanks again!
It heard this years ago. And it still rings true
I needed this
Thank you!♥️
I’ve been verbally abused mentally abused my entire life n been called an idiot n dummy
I can’t move forward now that I have gain so much weight:/
Thank you for doing what you do to help others (me) see the why and learn awareness.
It was also pointed out to me that tone of my voice is badly perceived by my partner, it triggered a lot of arguments in the past. I need to work on it. The obstacle is that english isn't my first language but I have to use it. Thanks Mel, great fan of yours. Keep up the great work.
'Hey, anger spreads. Just because you're angry at work, doesn't mean you get the right to talk to me that way' i was dying lol