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Why Narcissists Play Anger Games 💢

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  • Опубликовано: 22 июн 2024
  • Dr. Carter has a new course all about the anger games narcissists play. Learn more here: courses.surviv...
    Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his RUclips channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.
    If you are interested in online therapy, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. Go to our sponsor betterhelp.com... for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help.
    Join the Team Healthy community HERE: survivingnarci...
    Check out videos, articles, quizzes, and more at our website: survivingnarci...
    #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticmindgames #control #controlling #gaslighting #gaslighter #relationship #toxic #toxicrelationships

Комментарии • 106

  • @tenningale
    @tenningale Месяц назад +74

    I can't stand how they gaslight and project their problems, flaws, and behaviors onto other people rather than focusing on their own issues and self-analysis.

    • @yahyaknow
      @yahyaknow Месяц назад

      Lol! The 20 somthing unwed multiple daddy baby maker renter in the house beside me has yelled at me calling me "CRACKHEAD" 4 times. Uh, I wouldn't know crack if I saw it. I'm a MN retiree in Florida. These vermin are so predictable with their projecting. It's like being on Jerry Springer. It's front row for the clown show. In fact, she was most likely propped up in front of the Springer show in diapers. Raised on vile crap.

  • @Hatbox948
    @Hatbox948 Месяц назад +74

    My experience with a narcissist was definitely that they loved to pick fights.

    • @flaviovms
      @flaviovms Месяц назад +7

      unending energy to use circular arguments, never solving anything.

  • @scrappydappydoo
    @scrappydappydoo Месяц назад +53

    When the devil can't get to you, he sends in a narcissist. Thank you for helping innocent victims of narcissistic abuse, Dr. C. ☺️💕

  • @BaraSchmidt
    @BaraSchmidt Месяц назад +32

    No accountability means no trust in a relationship. Someone who holds YOU accountable for them is NOT to be trusted. Know the truth. Get - and stay - Healthy!!

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito Месяц назад +22

    Their chaos is theirs. I don't take care of it.

  • @user-zh5fh2li9u
    @user-zh5fh2li9u Месяц назад +30

    Or they try to bait you so you react, and then they play the victim.

    • @shawny979
      @shawny979 Месяц назад +2

      Yup.. This recently happened to me.

    • @flaviovms
      @flaviovms Месяц назад +3

      Correct. Never think they'll use logic. Instead they'll try to win the argument portraying emotions as facts!

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito Месяц назад +13

    "Win without fighting" -- Sun Tzu
    The best strategy is to not participate in their game. Let them stay in chaos. 😁

  • @DavidPerez-zs8im
    @DavidPerez-zs8im Месяц назад +27

    They despaired.. despaired for attention..I'm not listening to any of their noises..Im practicing the silence..

  • @dianearena2516
    @dianearena2516 Месяц назад +42

    You have taught me so much. I used to get so angry & respond that way when he triggered me. After watching you for the past year or so, I've learned to disengage. It just doesn't matter what he says, it's what I believe inside of me that matters. I don't need his approval or feel the need to try to convince him to see it from my point of you. It's so much more peaceful. I'm slowly letting go, I can feel it...finally!
    Thank you Dr C!! ❤
    With your help, I'm becoming a person of peace with...
    Dignity, Respect & Civility.
    I can't thank you enough!

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 Месяц назад +13

      Go gray rock! Dr C saved my sanity as well as my life ❤️‍🩹

    • @elcee7800
      @elcee7800 Месяц назад +6

      You can’t disengage when you’re in the middle of doing something, when they continually need correction like a dam toddler all because they don’t give a …. about anything!

    • @HEisWorthy-4C
      @HEisWorthy-4C Месяц назад +5

      A sad & wasted way to live. : (

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f Месяц назад +14

    Absolutely true, the only way to win at the narcissist’s games is not to play, disengage completely. They are committed to provoking you in any way possible in order to justify their dysfunctional behaviours. That will stop at nothing, no blow is too low or nasty. They are mentally ill people and we have to radically accept it and do not personalise anything they say or do. Thank you 🙏 dr Carter ❤

  • @Toshineko
    @Toshineko Месяц назад +7

    If the narcissists can elicit a reaction out of you, that means they can control you. That's why controlling your reactions is your superpower when dealing with a narcissist.

  • @Hydrocarbonateable
    @Hydrocarbonateable Месяц назад +9

    My boss was like this. We shared an office space and he would spend literally all day trying to provoke me in triggering or upsetting conversations because he could not handle being alone by himself with his own thoughts, and if he was agitated, he HAD to find someone else to be better than.
    When I refused to play that game and was silent, then he criticized my silence. When i tried to leave the room to do other tasks, he eventually banned me from doing other tasks, then from leaving at all. When I spoke out about this, I was raged at, and when I eventually pushed back against one of these ragings by refusing to engage in the conversation, I was fired for not obeying his directions.
    They will strip you of every autonomy just to keep their mental state constant. Was so gross that he only hired financially vulnerable young women just out of school so that he could control them better, too. Even if they're not doing it consciously, these people know what they're doing and won't change. Run away before they can harm you, because harm is all that will come in the end.

    • @kuukuyankson2033
      @kuukuyankson2033 Месяц назад +1

      I'm truly amazed at the proliferation of these creatures.
      Sorry you had to go through that but hope you found something better to do.

    • @trishsnoots3841
      @trishsnoots3841 Месяц назад

      Yes!!! I had a boss whose reputation went like this. Every time he would call someone into his office we would wink at each other and say, don't forget to take the k-y jelly with you. This man was a human tower of rage!! He knew who/when to charm, but he took his power position to degrade people. When I gave him one week notice of my resignation, he piled stacks of books and magazines from his office that night. Next day when I came in, he angrily shoved them at me and as they slid across my desk I raised my arms and thought--if even one of those books hits my 7 month pregnant belly, there's gonna be a huge lawsuit here. A couple years later I heard he was fired. Guess you get what's coming to you in the end. He got his and I ended up with a beautiful baby and a happy life

  • @user-jr3rk8mn4k
    @user-jr3rk8mn4k Месяц назад +5

    They will do anything to make you look bad. Keep your feelings to yourself because if you share them, they will explode and take it as an attack.

  • @fredhoyt6900
    @fredhoyt6900 Месяц назад +14

    How to respond to people that say, "You deserved what you got for not sticking up for yourself" ?

    • @roxymovie3938
      @roxymovie3938 Месяц назад +8

      You could answer,"This is none of your business!" There is nobody who is allowed to judge over you.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 Месяц назад +13

      Gaslighting

    • @scrappydappydoo
      @scrappydappydoo Месяц назад +13

      Victim blaming is a coward's answer.

    • @flaviovms
      @flaviovms Месяц назад +1

      Good luck facing unending arguments with someone who mistakes emotions as facts.

  • @nikkibaning361
    @nikkibaning361 Месяц назад +21

    Wouldn't play the game with the narc in my life, and she flew into a rage and triangulated our mother. Glad to have found such helpful, validating videos!

  • @elizabethmoore3464
    @elizabethmoore3464 Месяц назад +10

    This is such a painful and confusing path, having to deal with a real deal narc, I can't imagine not having access to videos like this that validate my experience. Without this free therapy I think I would quite literally become as wrought and broken as the narc. Thank you for what you do.

  • @rosieE121
    @rosieE121 Месяц назад +2

    They use anger and disagreement to sidetrack attention from their shortcomings.

  • @kat-75
    @kat-75 Месяц назад +14

    The continued testimonies are teally bad 👎. Their thinking( not knowing exactly which stalker) is evil pretty much. Their anger affected me negatively, but they won NOTHING. They are criminals, period.

  • @yotubr08
    @yotubr08 Месяц назад +2

    Don''t ENGAGE!!! So Important to remember.

  • @thehopefultwo6557
    @thehopefultwo6557 Месяц назад +5

    Internal chaos is right

  • @michelepascoe6068
    @michelepascoe6068 Месяц назад +4

    Don't engage. Absolutely. No regrettable reaction or pleading. Just calm confidence. Thank you Dr C

  • @user-wz4bz2fn6s
    @user-wz4bz2fn6s Месяц назад +3

    Important. Do Not Engage.

  • @clairedavis8564
    @clairedavis8564 Месяц назад +3

    Omgoodness, we need a planet or state where only Narcissists live. Can you imagine that Soap Opera??? 😂😂😂BEST REALITY T.V EVER!!!!😭😭😭😭

  • @user-uv1vx9xi4d
    @user-uv1vx9xi4d Месяц назад +4

    By watching your videos I have learned not to feed on their drama sign Cynthia Smith

  • @julieolivas3453
    @julieolivas3453 Месяц назад +2

    any time you disagree, you are punish

  • @KevinMurray-py5nb
    @KevinMurray-py5nb Месяц назад +9

    Do narcissistic people know what they are

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  Месяц назад +2

      Check out this video. ruclips.net/video/NUgf7MMtUGM/видео.html

  • @TBJuggernaut
    @TBJuggernaut Месяц назад +2

    One time my narc brother got into a fight with a driver and he as in the wrong, my brother, and he blamed the driver for his own insecurity. He's a bully since childhood and I cut off contact with him and the rest of the family.

  • @TiktokFAFO
    @TiktokFAFO Месяц назад +3

    Do not engage. It takes time to get here.

  • @amandaliverpool3374
    @amandaliverpool3374 Месяц назад +2

    They get a kick out of it. Usually directed at you !!!

  • @CoachK10190
    @CoachK10190 Месяц назад +3

    Let em be angry. They suck

  • @phoenixrising441
    @phoenixrising441 Месяц назад +21

    Dr Carter dropping some serious facts!!! Love this 👍👍

  • @allans7281
    @allans7281 Месяц назад +2

    Relationships are hard enough as it is without the toxic behaviors of a narcissist
    Learn the signs and keep away from them
    Thank you Doctor for your incredible insight

  • @isabelvidal3584
    @isabelvidal3584 Месяц назад +1

    Narcissists are bulling you all the time😢

  • @tommack2832
    @tommack2832 Месяц назад +2

    I always said about my ex, she was never happy unless she was unhappy. She loved to argue and marginalize me! Most people try to avoid conflict, she created conflict for her own amusement. I always fought back and called her out. When I stopped engaging her, she went after the kids and created a lot of resentment against me. After 30yrs, I divorced her. I told told her that I love her, but I didn't like her. She was such a fool

  • @salliegallegos918
    @salliegallegos918 Месяц назад +5

    Block and go no contact forever!

  • @Duckfarmer
    @Duckfarmer Месяц назад +3

    Yep' I Swear He Pretend's to Be Angry
    So He Can Pout and i"ll Be Wondering what's wrong with Baby Boy

  • @yahyaknow
    @yahyaknow Месяц назад +2

    Say this verbatim to the narc after they dish out the reactionary abuse: (verbatim!) "You shouldn't LET ME anger you so much. You LET ME anger you." It's a chump stumper for sure!

  • @user-sn5tk6mq9x
    @user-sn5tk6mq9x Месяц назад +2

    Last week on a travel together for purchasing product for our shop we had a small conversation and in the middle of the conversation for no reason he started getting angry and blaming so I looked to the other side and was sad emotionally for this kind of behaviour always and in two second out of nowhere he slapped me on my cheeks
    The reason for his slapping was because I showed sadness
    May Almighty save people from such characters

  • @Merlijnvv
    @Merlijnvv Месяц назад +2

    It's funny, the word 'hatemanship' just popped into my head. It requires some kind of special craft...

  • @nancymorrison9978
    @nancymorrison9978 Месяц назад +2

    I wish I had known all this before I realized my daughter is a narcissist.

  • @nn103
    @nn103 Месяц назад +21

    Very well put, thank you.

  • @michellehardy9014
    @michellehardy9014 Месяц назад +7

    100 % I lived with one for 17 years and had no idea what was going on or why he was even the way he was. I know, I was never the problem it was all 100 % my ex Tim Hardy from Fayette Alabama

  • @brookalook417
    @brookalook417 Месяц назад +1

    My husband accuses me of being an unsupportive wife when I don't follow his rage. Calling me unsupportive is his go-to . Sorry, but not sorry, I won't support unhealthy behavior. Still never goes over well.

  • @PatriotChick
    @PatriotChick Месяц назад +11

    True facts 💯

  • @SherryTomlinson-mk7gm
    @SherryTomlinson-mk7gm Месяц назад +2

    Dr. Carson, what I here noticed is all manipulation has emotional content to it. Us human beings are very emotional creatures. I was dealing with a narc and I shut down my emotions. The dude got real quiet and then started to try to trigger me. Every bit of this was emotional. I am really seeing this with the narcs I have had to interact with. It’s all about emotions. And of course their total disrespect and lack of boundaries

  • @hannahb3854
    @hannahb3854 Месяц назад +2

    This is exactly what I’m experiencing at the moment from my nutty neighbour she constantly projects her angrier at me by slamming doors stamping around her home like a toddler and banging objects at night to keep me awake…… as much as I want to retaliate I don’t I’m quite and just ignore her

  • @maureenwilson6031
    @maureenwilson6031 Месяц назад +1

    Yes indeed.....never take the bait. Silence is golden.

  • @StalkedHuman
    @StalkedHuman Месяц назад +1

    I want to broaden the light here. I would like to point that people in general trust dishonest manipulative horrible people over the honest generous noble and kind. This is the "emotional" intelligence in a corrupt society being active. Right now, HUMAN RESOURCE departments everywhere is codifying this obscenity. It becomes the intuitive example of behavior.

  • @HEisWorthy-4C
    @HEisWorthy-4C Месяц назад +4

    Dr C, hoping you feel valued in giving your wise counsel to all of us. Some of us would still be 'floating' around wondering what kind of tangled mess we got ourselves in to. When we are trying to make the world a better place in our small sphere of influence, in come the clowns!! Thank you for investing your time & healthy perspective into us. You are on solid ground & helping us to land there too!! Thanks again!!!

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  Месяц назад +1

      Thanks so much. That means a lot to me.

    • @nancytwigg4631
      @nancytwigg4631 Месяц назад +1

      Absolutely. I love Dr. C's solid ground, safety, and health found in the knowledge he shares.

  • @MzNettyBird
    @MzNettyBird Месяц назад +4

    😐very exhausting

  • @maxinemoo6972
    @maxinemoo6972 Месяц назад +2

    They bait.

  • @daisylu1973
    @daisylu1973 Месяц назад +5

    Very Wise 🤗
    Thank You 💐

  • @cherylanderson1308
    @cherylanderson1308 Месяц назад +2

    Exactly right

  • @franciscocardenas5758
    @franciscocardenas5758 Месяц назад +4

    Well put!

  • @julieremington7103
    @julieremington7103 Месяц назад +3

    Thank you so much!

  • @susanmunoz7688
    @susanmunoz7688 Месяц назад +2

    I love healthy!

  • @elizabethash4720
    @elizabethash4720 Месяц назад +4

    Great advice thankyou Doctor Carter.😊

  • @cheyenneoliver5835
    @cheyenneoliver5835 Месяц назад +1

    You're spot on!

  • @user-hu6qt9dq2h
    @user-hu6qt9dq2h Месяц назад +1

    my soul is so tired my partner does this every other day if not everyday......im so tired man it sucks. then he refuses to participate in his own life then when things start to predictably fall apart (like if you fail to pay your bills things start to get shut off or the bill adds up DUH!) he blames me or our relationship (which is still blaming me) for all his problems in life. "if it wasnt for this stupid relationship I could think clearly and handle my life!" wtf????? he is 57 years old I am 44, I feel stupid.

  • @r0n1ngamingYT
    @r0n1ngamingYT Месяц назад +2

    They're all roman emperor wannabes.
    I call them "Emperors"

  • @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp
    @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp Месяц назад +2

    🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 thank you Sir 🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @maxinesimonelli7383
    @maxinesimonelli7383 Месяц назад +1

    I'm healing

  • @catherinesmith7129
    @catherinesmith7129 Месяц назад +3

    But if you do not engage still they are doing it for the audience and them being the actor. Then their discussions are imbetween them and the flying monkeys they are grooming. They play things and misrepresent things; now they play their falsified reality they wish to portray things as.

  • @suzie2062
    @suzie2062 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for sharing!!❤

  • @cheriethompson5699
    @cheriethompson5699 Месяц назад +1

    Thanks so much for the advice and update

  • @dustinscott6974
    @dustinscott6974 Месяц назад +1

    This is interesting in the fact it insinuates that a narcs triggers are their responsibility to address yet relationship coaches seem to elevate validating your partner's feelings and "impact over intent". So how does this work when they feel entitled to their skewed views, triggers, projecting and if you address their skewed views or the fact their triggers are their responsibility you are "gaslighting" them and invalidating their experience? So if all feelings are valid but may not be true, what is the answer here?

  • @mussethecat.7020
    @mussethecat.7020 Месяц назад +2

    My mom ruined our daughters graduation party, caused a Iamgoinghome scene and left during dinner, why? Lack of attention. Told her that at a party for xx, it is not always possible to give everybody the same amount of attention. We have nok spoken in 4 days. Was I wrong to say that to her? Idk..

  • @Charlotte_breathes_fire
    @Charlotte_breathes_fire Месяц назад +1

    My garbage mother's favorite pastime.

  • @MadaTangdilallo
    @MadaTangdilallo Месяц назад +2

    Aku tidak marah Father ❤❤❤❤🙏❤❤❤😊😊😊

  • @Whatnow90
    @Whatnow90 Месяц назад +1

    100%

  • @jill4268
    @jill4268 Месяц назад +2

    💯✔️💯✔️💯✔️💯✔️

  • @MaryJames-sn4eh
    @MaryJames-sn4eh Месяц назад +1

    🎯🎯💯💯

  • @DB-vl8hj
    @DB-vl8hj Месяц назад +2

    Do you offer counseling?

  • @jerrisizemore1636
    @jerrisizemore1636 Месяц назад +1

    I like chaos thay can win baby all is well I love this shit don't be stupid what would I do other wise or am I allowed to do other wise get ur mind right mines wrong I win when I say I do eat that and I will get revenge everytime and engage ur and who ever else as I see fit and don't give a fk what or how I go or die

  • @user-qt9or4xu9l
    @user-qt9or4xu9l Месяц назад +1

    There too busy correcting lookin like hel. Adding few more scares of hardness to the arillery people . Laugh ha ha

  • @fatimasankoh1868
    @fatimasankoh1868 Месяц назад +1

    I don't engage in you in Jesus name Amen thanks Lord

  • @sushibar777
    @sushibar777 Месяц назад +2

    Trump?

  • @Peacefulnessxxx
    @Peacefulnessxxx Месяц назад +1

    My ex was diagnosed with narcissism and have to say that some still want to be good people.

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 Месяц назад +8

    Life saving info ❤️‍🩹