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IDK about courses, but I'd love some videos about dealing with the seething- and justified- anger and resentment at the DA's cruelty, spite, and disregard. I'd also love some videos on the other attachment styles. Your content is great up to a point for understanding my experience, but after listening to a bunch of DA videos it has the tone of what people should do to cater to the DA's demands; how other attachment styles should put up with their shittiness in order to make the relationship work- or justifying their shitty behavior when you don't. It would be nice to see some balanced content focused on everyone understanding and working with everyone else. Otherwise maybe call this the "How to Put Up With Avoidant Personalities" channel.
Well Boohoo.. so it’s all about them!! We need to hear them, accept that they sabotage the relationship because of their trauma and fears, accept that they deactivate with these lies they make about us to justify the break up and subject us to silent treatment, refuse to communicate, refuse to work on the relationship, subject us to their anger… they need therapy, being in a relationship with an entitled selfish emotionally immature bad communicator is exhausting. They should feel grateful that someone loves them when they are so toxic. They are childish and don’t care if they hurt their partners. I am so angry that I even believed they can actually have any empathy or love inside them.
Exactly! I have seen an Ex do this with her entire Family, and their own children!? No close friends, and coworkers were often spoken of negatively as well. Yes, their was trama in her life. Never allow it to be your job to fix, be supportive, understand that they must want to do the work, period.
Trust me it is not you. Step one: flaw finding, hearing negative things about you that you have never heard anyone mention about you before not even in previous relationships. Step two: distancing, ghosting, ignoring, using the famous phrase I need my space. Step three: calling you needy for trying to communicate in a healthy way and trying to fix what you did not break. Step four: getting passive aggressive with you for insisting, causing you to respond in a negative way, perhpaps you got angry and said something you normally wouldn't. Step five: using the latter as a confirmation they were right about you all along. Step six: blocking you. Hey all sounds familiar? I bet it does. It is not you.
It sounds so familiar and painful . My close friend and love blocked me everywhere in the last few days without telling me anything . I sent messages , emails , voice messages trying to reconcile and ask him to talk . He just kept blocking even my emails . A bad person interfered between us and made some conflict. Our anxieties got high . I’m anxious attached and he’s avoidant . I really love and care about him and feel in much pain and loss . Do you think he would come back ? 💔 I miss him so much
"Why they blocked you" Because they don't give a shit about what you need or how you feel, nor do they care about you getting closure, and there's the only reason you should need never to get involved with a DA again. Not. Worth. It. This "disorganized attachment" person is deactivated and done. DAs can go through life alone with their dismissiveness.
True. Mine recently blocked me from everywhere. Clearly he has issues stemming from his childhood. It don't matter if you both felt u was soulmates. It don't matter what special connection you felt with them. It's the problem in them. Keep ghosting, silent treatments, leaving you on seen on purpose, does not call or hear no voice notes. They just do not wan be attached, fear coming from them ruining shewt. But what's worse is when you have fullu healed from all ur traumas, but they still stuck n have not found their light yet to heal. That's the worse place to be in a relationship with someone like that. Cuz it will both destroy you mentally n emotionally
@aristark559 He had only unfriended me from snapchat not blocked me there so i could reply back his stories, he opened my msgs everytime but never replied but would go make reels related to that on his socials lol Its been 5 days now i havs stopped watching his snaps and stopped giving him story replies I just know he is the one Damn sure he feels the same too otherwise he would have never opened my msgs But He need to realize n come back himself I miss alot everyday But i'm done trynna contact n chase him
@aristark559 im still blocked apart from snapchat, but i've realized whats the point of me stalking him? What am i watching him for till he starts posting about his new relationship with another female? Eventually shewt becomes old N u get tired of hoping n waiting N start moving on 100% he'll regret alot but by that time it be too late
The fact they think your trying to control them for asking them to sit down and have a mature loving convo so you can get a perspective on both sides. How can you really hear them? Lol
Bunch of selfish adult toddlers who treat living breathing human beings like some free trail of love and life. Should've taken the hint when she said "in a relationship you need to be selfish". Damned if you don't put in effort, and damned if you do. If you want to be close to them they find you annoying and start resenting you; if you give them space they accuse you for not doing enough and make a villain out of you. They jump from person to person, and everyone before you and now including you and those after you are a "lesson". Yet somehow after all those experiences they are the only ones who claim to always "love the wrong person", leaving behind a bloody trail paved with the shattered hearts of everyone who actually loved them.
We're not even friends on social media. He blocks then unblocks then pokes me. Clearly, DAs want to bond because they wouldn't keep trying to date if they don't, but the kind of relationship they want is one where people don't bond but are pretty much alone. Some of these people don't know what they want, they tell you they want to leave and if you let them, they suddenly want to gain access back to you. They declare their feelings for you but then are wishy washy about it and their actions. They can't make up their mind and make contradictory inconsistent statements, but it's YOUR fault that they blocked you for not listening to them. Also, the ghosting/blocking is a message that's loud and clear so you don't chase them, then suddenly they unblock you and try to provoke you to get the attention, yet it's still your fault they blocked you even if they ghosted you long before that and gave them ample space. The mind games are not worth it.
Mine was worst than blocking me . She wants to end the relationship saying she is not feeling it after we went on a cruise together. Blocked me everywhere. Went and talked to her best friend about her behavior..worst she bashed me on TikTok. After 3 months changing guys like underwear she Unblocked me . I blocked her back. Thanks to her I can literally describe you what Hell on earth looks a like . I don’t even wish these people to be close to my worst enemy. Stay away from them , this is my best advice!
You hit the nail on the head as I have commented about my DA's similar behavior in breaking up with me.....selfish! She had no business being in a relationship.
Breaking up can be a very unselfish decision The decision to breakup can be a courageous move, on a background of repeated heartbreaks since childhood and the decision to flee and perhaps adopt an indifferent attitude to protect oneself. The DA is a suffering person and the decision to stay or leave can depend on how much guts and gumption you can muster in order to stay in contact.
Tempting to reach out when THEY blocked you? It sounds like ‘blocking’ is permanent and they can’t undo it. Blocking a number so they are not ‘tempted’? It’s not stopping THEM from calling. It’s stopping the blockee. That didn’t sound right to me. It still just sounds so childish and rude to block someone-DA or not-if they are NOT BEING called or pursued.
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after bring separated for 3months All thanks to mr Willson whom held me to get back my ex again I will suggest y'all get help from him and it's works within 2days.
I agree but on the flip side what's the point of having them/each other around. I haven't blocked her but I'm puzzled that she hasn't blocked me. I don't harass her but it just seems like such a DA thing to do I expected it. If you're ice cold and rude and ignore someone then why not just block them and be done?
True. Mine recently blocked me from everywhere. Clearly he has issues stemming from his childhood. It don't matter if you both felt u was soulmates. It don't matter what special connection you felt with them. It's the problem in them. Keep ghosting, silent treatments, leaving you on seen on purpose, does not call or hear no voice notes. They just do not wan be attached, fear coming from them ruining shewt. But what's worse is when you have fullu healed from all ur traumas, but they still stuck n have not found their light yet to heal. That's the worse place to be in a relationship with someone like that. Cuz it will both destroy you mentally n emotionally
My dismissive avoidant ex bf broke up with 2 months ago he blocked me from Instagram only so today I asked him to block me from everywhere and he did it I'm hurt more than when he broke up with me , I did nc with him for 5 weeks but I break my nc and send him an apology text he responded and apologized too and now a week later this happened 💔
If after 4 years they bail out without giving a proper reason, is it not expected that I would want to talk and try to repair things? - She just acted as judge, jury and executioner without my input. I tried keeping some contact, hoping to reconnect - but she turned ice cold and blocked me. She gave no closure, and couldn’t even wish me well, even though I wished her so. She hurt me more than anyone has ever done before. It’s completely coloured my view of relationships going forward. I wish she had never started with me. The love bombing and talking about future plans, calling me her ‘soulmate’ and ‘love you more each day’ and then to change like a switch and turn 180 in space of 3 months has really damaged my mental health.
@NightVegas Sorry you went through this.. its really tough - 7 months on., I still sit here wondering if i should try emailing her.. and then I pinch myself and have to remember - if she wanted me - she would contact me.. In my head I still replay the good times and hope they would return.. but I’m kidding myself - they won’t.
@@Polly1589 😞 I’m so sorry you had to go through that .. truly awful behaviour on his part. I still think about what happened in my case, how she behaved - it makes no sense, and never will. I finally realised that this woman was not what she appeared to be all along. Anyone that can turn like that is just not mature or healthy. We as loving and loyal people deserve much better x
This is crazy, I liked what we had. She (my DA) ghosted and blocked me for sending her flowers. I honestly felt she let me get to see her in a way she didn't let others. I was thinking I overwhelmed her when I sent the flowers. Maybe she felt like it was too much.
My DA blocked me because my voice makes him emotional. .. Iam not angry because I hurt him and refused to let him come and go in and out of my life. After 2 months, he texted tonight and I am okay with this and not talking. It was a very passionate and loving relationship for both of us. I know we love each other but, I can't take the "leaving"!!
For me he blocked me only from Instagram (and refused to block me from everywhere) this was 2 months ago but yesterday I asked him to block me from everywhere I'm so hurt right now
There is another reason. I'm a recovered AP and before I worked on myawlf. My DA used to block me to self sooth and always came back. I kept pushing him away with my anxious attachment style.
Great video. Very helpful as to understanding where my ex might be and how this affects me too. I just need to let her go so that both she and I can heal. She is also my client still, so in trying to make sure that we both can heal, I probably need to end that relationship too.
Hey Laurence! Thanks for commenting. I'm glad you found the video helpful. I also know firsthand how having multiple relationships in one can further complicate things. 🙏
@@KatyaMorozova I'm her accountant. I keep waiting for her to fire me. If you heard the things she said to me when she dumped me, you would shake your head too. If I said the things that she said to me, I would never speak with that person again. Let alone give them more work. Was in no contact for six months until Friday when she emailed me with questions and then we talked on the phone for an hour. Tone was all business. Very professional. I'm just very confused. lol
In my case, he wanted to hurt me-he took pleasure in making me feel bad. He’s a coward, and I know I deserve better. His problem is that he’s some sort of celebrity in his field, with far too many women chasing him. But I was different-I challenged him. It was only a matter of time before he blocked me. I need a strong man, not a weak, immature boy. No thanks!🙏🏻🦋
I'll never date a DA again. I dated this girl just shy of 6 months and we had a crazy strong connection to where she wanted commitment immediately. We got into ONE dispute that should have been resolved in minutes and she couldn't handle it. She straight blocked me on everything and never even told me we were breaking up or were done. The last text I got from her was "I need time talk when I can" and blocked 2 days later. That was 2 weeks ago and it's completely blindsided me. Extremely cowardly and childish way to end things. We even had trips and stuff planned out for the year. Never again.
What if the last message I sent was “I really don’t want to end things in a bad way & im not offended in anyway and hope you’re not too” (I’m secure)…and been an independent woman for many years. He blocked me straight after which left me with many questions…not triggered in any way. Any thoughts appreciated so I can try to understand? Thank you
@Michaelnolan1988 - Mine did the same - out of the blue .. Its horrible - I thought everything was going well too. And yet she wasn’t being honest with me it seems
@@KatyaMorozova that’s the answer. They’re dishonest people. I have come to realize so many lies over the last 5 mths. We were married 9 yrs we had our first real argument which got heated and the next day she ran with Two of the kids. Sorriest shit I’ve ever had done to me in my life. Coldest behavior I’ve ever encountered. Bad thing is I truly believe about the time I get lawyers involved she’s going to be back. She’s dropped random nice or flirty texts . Then block . Wouldn’t sign paperwork to end it. Won’t come get their stuff. Literally took our child and expects daycare to coordinate stuff then has daycare tell me I can’t pick up my kid or answer questions. It’s insane. Her mother the mean devil literally tried to dictate terms for awhile. I told that 7 time married mean devil I was not dealing with her in regards to my child. Her daughter is 41 she can act like an adult. This event came on the heels of me losing 11 people in my family in 19 mths. It’s. Been a crazy hard two years for me and she almost destroyed me. I really thought for a moment she had a lot of narcissistic tendencies after the split. I had just accepted her behavior for years and looking back she was always struggling with anxiety and depression I guess primarily from faking loving people. Stemming from a tough childhood and it’s so sad. I’ve never loved & trusted anyone like I did her in my life. It’s still hard to type that. I truly regret so many of my own negligent things. But it seems as long as she never had to have a job I was the best thing ever no matter if I worked two jobs or 90 hrs a wk or was a big wheel for years she loved that. Soon as she had to contribute it was just too much. Great video sad details but true stuff. A bad environment growing up ends bad in adult relationships I’ve saw it twice now in the last 25 yrs I’ve encountered two really bad deals. I’ll always love this one and I don’t think I’m ever going to attach to anyone else now. She broke me. I’d never do a soul as I have been done. It’s cowardly, selfish, and hateful what I’ve encountered. Not a Godly way to be at all. I literally witnessed to this girl when she got saved. Never been more certain of a person in my life. I’ve never saw anyone just devalue a persons love for them as she did me. Mind blowing and heart wrenching. Thank God he had me I almost gave up
Well seems to me that once they’re done in their mind or something bad happens they rather just move on from it since they want to avoid it happening again.
As ever, a lucid, informative and helpful analysis, motivated by benevolence and sustained by rationality and understanding. It is important to remind people how anxiety often serves as a self-interested controlling agency that diminishes others’ liberty and smothers them. Such smothering is always exasperating, particularly when a person is struggling to rediscover a sense of freedom.
I think my wife which ran off ghosted me and my two oldest kids. Has my 2 yr old and now I haven’t saw him in two months. We went back and forth a couple mths prior I did all I knew to reconcile she wasn’t having it. But this is bs on our child. She’s being a selfish witch honestly .
I know my ex was a type of person that was always on social media looking at other women and not just that but he would lie about everything everything came out of his mouth was a lie you can prove things or show him something in black and white and he was still deny it I just got tired of it and I decided to just leave and I went no contact and have continued no contact even though he has try contacting me when you need to call him I have went no contact cause it doesn’t seem like he listens he wants everything his way so I decided to move on
I blocked them instead. If they really care then they will reach out, if not, then it makes it easier for me. Im not going ro take responsibility for an adult child
I've been learning so much and recommending you big time. My DA husband asked for a divorce and moved out 8 months ago. 3 months ago, he said he'll get back with a decision.... Nothing yet. No sign of going this way or that, just radio silence..what could it mean?
Thank you for sharing my channel! I so appreciate it. I recommend booking a session where we can dig into your question and I can get more details from you about your unique situation.
I think it’s interesting how the school of psychology has evolved as it relates to the evolution of technology. Meaning, back in the 1980s, for example. When you ended a relationship, at best, some drove by their exes house. Other than that, you generally would just take the phone off the hook, and in today’s world of technology, with multiple platforms available. I am of the opinion that it makes it extremely challenging to move on from a relationship, not to mention, technology tends to drive the impulsivity control issues, in other words, you have more accessibility to snoop on your ex more than ever. So it’s interesting to me that there’s a topic about blocking. Furthermore, I don’t understand why the labels of attachment is some sort of key indicator. All attachments in theory, do the same thing, it’s a break up, you grieve, you try to move to a position of “out of sight, out of mind.” In this case with technology, you block them. What do you label people that struggle with impulsivity control of wondering what ex’s are doing post break up? Labels belong on jars. People process break ups differently and technology truly makes it harder than ever due to social media platforms. So you block them, and now you’re a DA? No, you’re a human that knows what you need to do under personal discipline to move on from someone you love or loved. If an ex is out of sight, out of mind. It doesn’t matter what anyone with attachment does. The objective is to move on. If not, call them and when on it. If not, move on. Pretty simple.
DAs...the worst kind of people. Especially single mother DAs. I spent over 2 years .mine was from china..did everything any man would or will ever do for her and her daughter..the shady behaviour started..IG nonsense..lack of interest ..texting less ..longer wait for replies..if you call them out on there shit behaviour and disrespect off they go..ghost you with no closure or effort...on to the next..its there restart..got to start fresh with someone who isnt aware...they act normal in the beginning.they want love commitment..security..blah blah. Until you see there indifference..masked with sex..they hunt options ..follow there GFs..who are riding the CC.. its the worst wasted time investment for any man...mgtow. for life.!
Hey I got a difficult situation here, my gf broke up with me for the third time She broke up with me and block me right after the break up , but before the break up happened she was telling me that she’s so sorry for breaking up with me two times and she feel sorry that she was toxic and then 30 minutes later she told me that I’m her angel and I did everything for her and I did a lot for her and then she msg me breaking up with me and leaving me for good with no return this time and block me on everything single thing And I really treated her very well and out of the blue every time she break up with me I’m in no contact now but I don’t know are she gonna come back? Or time to move on? Also do you think she’s a Dismissive avoidant? Every time she broke up with me out of blue even if things are going well with non sense of her excuses
Excellent. I have experience of the spiral. 14 year relationship. She finally blocked me on Messanger. I have come to a point where I can't go through this hot and cold situation. Although it hurts every person has their breaking point and that's the point I have got to. This is now the hard part
My ex broke up with me on nov. 4, i did the no contact and radio silence after the break up, after 2 weeks he unfriended me like i am doing nothing, i never disturbed him and i never reach out to him because i gave him time. I get it of unfriend me if im being clingy to him or im begging him or post something on social media but he unfriend me while im doing nothing, what could be his reason? Pls help me
This is a bad scenario. My ex reached out to me after 4 months of no contact. I was the one who broke up. She asked me if there was a chance to get back together and I said that she is not the person right now that would be good for me to be in a relationship. It's just to straining on my mental health. She got angry and now I've noticed she blocked me.
I got mine to unblock me. Mine blocked me after apologizing for lying, cheating, and manipulating. Then asking for a second chance, and finally getting upset because I expressed my thoughts and feelings about a situation in which she lied about. She asked me to take her home after the conversation even though she was supposed to stay with me for 3 days. I said no. She got an Uber and ran, and while running away she told me “I love you”. I didn’t find out I was blocked until a week later when I physically showed up to her doorstep to give her back her items. Then I called her while leaving and found out I was blocked. I contacted her on a Google number requesting a conversation not about the situation that occurred and she unblocked me and called me and I asked her to go to the beach and she said yes. Then in the car I told her don’t block me again. I was like you know I’m not the type to blow up someone’s phone and harass them. And she said I guess you’re right and tried to say in the past I didn’t but couldn’t recall a moment. We went to the beach and had a decent time not talking about the situation (I really don’t want to) and then she invited to see a movie later on in the week.
Mine only blocked on certain communication channels. However her social media still has our stuffs on it after 1 month of breaking up. What does that signify?
My ex was indirectly reposting tik toks after blocking my number about me not meeting her emotional needs, was she wanting me to indirectly respond to try to fix things i wasn’t reacting to anything and then it turned bitter and mean and then unfollowed and blocked me and i never reached out?
Mine got really bad news saying he is going totally blind, so he told me "no future with a blind man", and he was gonna go back home to his fam in dif state. I tried to talk to him, because its a setback not end of his life, then he blocked me. Until that news from his dr, things were going well. He was planning dates, asking me for photos, and communicating daily. Now, nothing.
The DA wants the relationship on their terms. They want to pick and chose the access they want with you. It doesn't work that way. They don't get their cake and eat it too. #AvoidtheAvoidant
So search for an avoidance ex and I watched a couple videos and it makes a lot sense. My question is that I was the one that broke the trust in our relationship and I do care for her. I didn’t understand her blocking me and avoiding me. She wanted to stay friends with me and I wanted more. We haven’t talked for a couple months now. I did a few things after the breakup like driving by her house and she didn’t like that. Now she’s begging me to leave her alone to move on. We were dating for 2 years and we had a deep connection. I believe that we are meant to be. It’s been a year now since our breakup but after the breakup we were still seeing each other till 6- 8 months ago since I got my own place. I still love her but I can’t get out my head the fact she bumped into an old friend and she end up dating this guy in wish now they aren’t talking. You think we have a chance to be together?
My ex blocked me on social media but then turned around and called my cell phone and hung up twice and called and left a message for me to call him I had been gone no contacts every since and before he blocked me so what was the purpose for blocking me if you try to call me on my phone. If you didn’t wanna be bothered
I don't care if it was year 2084. I don't do social media. RUclips doesn't count as I post no pictures for validation or updates to make my life seem more interesting than it is. I find it very feminine when men use social media and very attention seeking when women use social media. I don't have to worry about being blocked. 😅
I sent my dismissive ex of 7 yrs links on Dismissive avoidants. My hunch is he probably could see himself and blocked me. Up to that point he was enjoying my texting him but claimed not to be yet despite my saying block me then he said I’m not a child don’t tell me what to do.
I’ve been in a relationship with a male DA for 4 years. He’s now left me again, he’s done this about 3 or more times to this extent where he’s now blocked me. He knows something is wrong with him. He told me 2 days before blocking me, to try my hardest to talk him out of being like this when he gets into this pattern, this cycle 🤷♀️ sometimes it works, this time it made him block me 🥺 then he comes back, and acts like he never broke up with me. It’s very confusing. I thought he had a boarder line personality disorder but I think he’s a DA. He hasn’t come back this time, I don’t think he will this time. I believed he was my person in this lifetime and made me believe I was his too… 🤷♀️😢 thank you for the videos.
Hi! So sad to read. 😔 Did your boyfriend ever come back? I'm experiencing the same. My (I think DA) boyfriend (also 4 years relationship) blocked and ghosted me 7 weeks ago, out of nowhere. He cancelled a date again, very last minute, through text message. And it was the first time that I replied that it hurt me always being the cancelled one, while he sees his friends all the time and never cancels them. And without even replying a word, he blocked and ghosted me. 😔 He ghosted me in the past, but never blocked me before. I'm so heartbroken. X
I broke up with my DA before Thanksgiving he went silent on me for about 45 days. He popped up took me on a weekend vacation for New Years and dropping me off at the airport says we are not back together and I need to learn its consequences for my actions of leaving him. He set the reset on the relationship to put distance between us. I have to keep boundaries and walk away because I refuse to be a booty call or friends with benefits when I dated him with intent to marry.
@@shebutter3195 They will continue to run as long as you chase or they can see your upset. These kind of men want you only when you don't give a shit about them
Reddit Reddit that is unfortunately the story of my life all of the men I loved didn’t receive it they ran from it until I no longer wanted them anymore they came back and feelings were no longer there.
My ex broke up w me in July randomly, blocked me on everything. Then rebounded within 4 weeks and is with them still, then unblocked me and kept talking to me whilst with the person on the low. Then she randomly blocked me again 4 months later on everythubg again
Mine did that recently, but only unfriended me from snapchat not blocked. I can still reply to his public snap stories N not blocked me from my private ig, but he put my msgs on restricted. Rest of everywhere else I am blocked. He even deleted my cell number from his contacts n whatsapp
My DA blocked me for 5 weeks then came back and we were jn a relationship for 6 months then we broke up and I blocked him but he won't block me. It may be because i told him if he ever blocked me again id take that as we're over for good.
He blocked me for 2 weeks while he was abroad “because it better for two of us”. Ive blocked him too. after 2 weeks he unblocked me. I saw a lot of new girls in his ig, i know he moved on.. and i dont want to go back of course.. but im just woundering why did he unblocked me after 2 weeks? Can he heal after 2 weeks???
My ex blocked me on his phone and fb three weeks ago and now he blocked me on one platform too. we don't have anymore outlets. he is in relationship/rebound relationship. Does this mean he is getting very serious with this girl or he will unblock me eventually. also as a side note he still has our profile pic on his fb if you go back to his profile pics now. he hasn't deleted that.
How can u not take anything they do personally you literally was in a relationship together!!!! Its called communication they just as bad as a narcissist!!!
Hey I just want to heal from it. I don't really care to understand them I forgive them honestly I just want to heal from it that's all. I want to detach and grow the moment it happened I tried contacting her for 20mins just to really understand why that's really it but after that I gave up an just wanted to heal that's really it.
I’m a DA and this video feels so validating to me lol you hit the nail on the head. I had an ex i only saw for two months, I sent her two break up texts telling her we were not compatible and we were done and we could still be friends but I had no intentions for a romantic connection and she just ignored that implicitly. She said “okay” but she’d still flirt with me and use pet names with me and asked me hypotheticals about my future romantic plans even though I made it really clear I was no longer interested so I just started using really short responses and eventually archived the chat. when I got into another relationship and posted about it she spammed my dms on my socials with very biphobic sentiments (I’m bi, she’s lesbian and I’m with a guy now) so I blocked her. it’s really really annoying when someone thinks they know what you want better than you do and tries to impose their will onto your life without your consent.
It’s not that we sabotage. We truly are just not into gameplaying and tit-for-tat type of relationships. When I’m done with you, I am truly done with you. I’m not a revolving door. So yes, I will block you and move on with my life. I think what people don’t understand about us is that initially we will wear our heart on our sleeves because we are brutally honest. But when we pick up on toxic behavior or gameplaying, that most people do, we are just not at all built to do that, so we will block you and go on with our lives. I hate that people who are not like us try to give us a bad rap for being insensitive or cold. It’s not that at all. We are highly attuned and discerning when it comes to BS/manipulation and we shut it down quick. I’m actually really proud to be an avoidant attachment style. It has saved me from a lot of heartache and toxic experiences.
You also shut out loving connections because giving in is a loss of control and recieving love is too unknown to accept. Unknown=no control. You can be proud all you want, avoidents do have really good strenghts, but also take responsibility to the good people you discard along the way.
I’m a DA and the main reason for blocking exes is so I can “clear space” for the next person I date. Exes are often drama for future relationships and I just have zero desire to keep them in my life. It’s not personal, it’s just a part of moving on.
Dating a DA, I am coming to understanding how you function. I respect that. However, the DA comes in and out bc of their need for self independence at the expense of their partner's needs for validation. So why get into a relationship if it becomes a need to find the next relationship? Will you always e clearing space? Great for you. Sucks for everyone else.
@@tellytruth8554 wouldn't it be easy for them to get some therapy and work on their issues? I know it is a scary place to go for most of individuals with insecure attachment style, but it would save a lot unnecessary heartbreaks.
I'm a DA in toxic relationships. This definitely resonates. I block for peace of mind and to let go. I communicate and then Iet go for my own mental health and to not allow myself to be used or boundaries continually crossed.
So you think it’s fine to mentally harm the other person by blocking them right away? Sending a breakup text and then blocking right away is torture towards them. If you’re going to end things at least have a convo about what went wrong, why it can’t be fixed ect.
So it is about your mental health huh? What about understanding the other side, because not even a break up conversation is OK. Giving a chance to listen to a point, thinking how you caused this, and seeing the person as he is not his attachments.. Just block em and be in peace, the other side, who cares huh
I found out yesterday from a friend he was active on plenty of fish. It said he was single, actively looking for a relationship for long-term. We've been together for over a year and a half and when I messaged him on Instagram he blocked me and I've no closure. Also my friend (who hasn't met him yet and doesn't know who he is) showed me her inbox and he said and I quote "I am no good at this texting thing. Would you like to meet up for a drink or coffee to get to know each other better". I bet he copy and pasted that to every single woman on POF.
My now ex GF went distant on me for a few weeks, lack of sex drive which she blamed on her not feeling attractive, pulled away when I tried to kiss her but then still pulled me in for cuddles and kisses literally a week before she finished with me. Told me she loved me and then pulled away again. She had trouble sleeping and 3 days before she finished with me didn’t sleep all night. She had a couple of hours in the morning and then when she woke up sat in bed with her head in her hands for a good hour then went home seemingly ok as she left. I barely heard from her for the next 2 days which was really off because she always rang and text all day. I called her up on it and said I’d felt like she’d been pushing me away recently (my anxious side coming out) she said she thought she should stay away for a couple of weeks to ‘figure some things out on her own’ I tried to get her to talk about it rather than block me out which is when she turned around and said (via text) that I was more into it than she was, I deserve someone who can be who I want them to be (which is her) it’s not you it’s me etc…..Pretty much every excuse you can’t argue with and then she finished it. The next day she came to pick up her things and she was like a complete stranger it was really hard on me to see that side of her and it seemed to come right out of the blue. Within an hour she had blocked me almost everywhere and over the next few days there was more blocking! I left her alone as she had asked for space but then curiosity got the better of me and I text her, it went through but she ignored it. (I don’t understand blocking me everywhere other than on the phone) Fast forward a week and she had been at a mutual friends house all day and that friend told me she didn’t expect my reaction to the break up (I said a couple of things I regretted in the moment when she picked her stuff up) I already knew I wanted to apologise for them so I text again and said sorry and can we talk. She replied that I didn’t need to say sorry to her and there was nothing left to talk about it wasn’t the right fit anymore and we should give each other space. That was the last thing I heard off her. It’s only been 2 weeks and she is on dating sites (yes I checked!) and seemingly moving on like the last 7 months never happened. I still really want her back but these videos are really helping me to look at it another way and making me wonder 1) if she ever will reach out and 2) what I’d do if she does? I’d never even heard of attachment styles until now but it is giving me a lot of strength to deal with the heartache and feelings of loss by getting some form of understanding on what went so wrong for her. Although she is acting so cold at the minute I know she is a good person and she is/was struggling with mental health issues so I can’t get angry with her. All I wanted was us to be in it together for the long haul and I really thought she did too. This is the hardest break up I’ve ever been through because I really don’t know what I did if anything that made her pull back and then turn so cold. I do have a tendency to be more on the anxious side of things but I really focussed on keeping that in check with her because I have pushed people away in the past with it and I’ve learned from it. I’m really at a loss on what to do. It seems like my only choice is to walk away but I really do think if we were to talk about this stuff together and work things out on this basis of what our needs are and how we could come to meet in the middle on them then we could really have something really good together. 💔
I think mine - can't really call her an ex but someone I talked to romantically for a long time - ignored me on messenger after I finally sent her an email telling her all about her behavior but she hasn't unfriended or blocked me on social media and I'm wondering why since it seems like the first thing a DA would do.
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What about if she's a cheat and is avoidant ?
IDK about courses, but I'd love some videos about dealing with the seething- and justified- anger and resentment at the DA's cruelty, spite, and disregard. I'd also love some videos on the other attachment styles. Your content is great up to a point for understanding my experience, but after listening to a bunch of DA videos it has the tone of what people should do to cater to the DA's demands; how other attachment styles should put up with their shittiness in order to make the relationship work- or justifying their shitty behavior when you don't. It would be nice to see some balanced content focused on everyone understanding and working with everyone else. Otherwise maybe call this the "How to Put Up With Avoidant Personalities" channel.
Well Boohoo.. so it’s all about them!! We need to hear them, accept that they sabotage the relationship because of their trauma and fears, accept that they deactivate with these lies they make about us to justify the break up and subject us to silent treatment, refuse to communicate, refuse to work on the relationship, subject us to their anger… they need therapy, being in a relationship with an entitled selfish emotionally immature bad communicator is exhausting. They should feel grateful that someone loves them when they are so toxic. They are childish and don’t care if they hurt their partners. I am so angry that I even believed they can actually have any empathy or love inside them.
Wow!!!!! You could not have said it better!
Wow! Every word you said is exact! Feeling just the same. I don’t except nothing from him anymore. Hopefully he will go for therapy 🙏🏼
Exactly! I have seen an Ex do this with her entire Family, and their own children!? No close friends, and coworkers were often spoken of negatively as well. Yes, their was trama in her life. Never allow it to be your job to fix, be supportive, understand that they must want to do the work, period.
Absolutely 💯
😳 seriously spot on .... love the way you put it !
7:49 Why do avoidants selfishly assume that we should be able to predict what they are trying to communicate without them communicating it?
Exactly…crazy!
Trust me it is not you. Step one: flaw finding, hearing negative things about you that you have never heard anyone mention about you before not even in previous relationships. Step two: distancing, ghosting, ignoring, using the famous phrase I need my space. Step three: calling you needy for trying to communicate in a healthy way and trying to fix what you did not break. Step four: getting passive aggressive with you for insisting, causing you to respond in a negative way, perhpaps you got angry and said something you normally wouldn't. Step five: using the latter as a confirmation they were right about you all along. Step six: blocking you. Hey all sounds familiar? I bet it does. It is not you.
Totally how it was for me. We were together 7 yrs too!
Hahaha do you know me or something?
Sadly very familiar.
It really is a playbook. You sure you didn't date the same woman I did?
It sounds so familiar and painful . My close friend and love blocked me everywhere in the last few days without telling me anything . I sent messages , emails , voice messages trying to reconcile and ask him to talk . He just kept blocking even my emails . A bad person interfered between us and made some conflict. Our anxieties got high . I’m anxious attached and he’s avoidant . I really love and care about him and feel in much pain and loss . Do you think he would come back ? 💔 I miss him so much
"Why they blocked you" Because they don't give a shit about what you need or how you feel, nor do they care about you getting closure, and there's the only reason you should need never to get involved with a DA again. Not. Worth. It. This "disorganized attachment" person is deactivated and done. DAs can go through life alone with their dismissiveness.
True. Mine recently blocked me from everywhere.
Clearly he has issues stemming from his childhood. It don't matter if you both felt u was soulmates. It don't matter what special connection you felt with them.
It's the problem in them. Keep ghosting, silent treatments, leaving you on seen on purpose, does not call or hear no voice notes.
They just do not wan be attached, fear coming from them ruining shewt.
But what's worse is when you have fullu healed from all ur traumas, but they still stuck n have not found their light yet to heal.
That's the worse place to be in a relationship with someone like that. Cuz it will both destroy you mentally n emotionally
@aristark559 He had only unfriended me from snapchat not blocked me there so i could reply back his stories, he opened my msgs everytime but never replied but would go make reels related to that on his socials lol
Its been 5 days now i havs stopped watching his snaps and stopped giving him story replies
I just know he is the one
Damn sure he feels the same too otherwise he would have never opened my msgs
But
He need to realize n come back himself
I miss alot everyday
But i'm done trynna contact n chase him
@aristark559 If its fading away for you thats a good sign n indicator that they were never the one for you
Cuz
Real love never dies
@aristark559 im still blocked apart from snapchat, but i've realized whats the point of me stalking him? What am i watching him for till he starts posting about his new relationship with another female?
Eventually shewt becomes old
N u get tired of hoping n waiting
N start moving on
100% he'll regret alot but by that time it be too late
The fact they think your trying to control them for asking them to sit down and have a mature loving convo so you can get a perspective on both sides. How can you really hear them? Lol
To all DAs please don't block or unfriend cos it hurts alot
And that's why they will do it because they want to hurt you to feed their ego and have control over you.
Bunch of selfish adult toddlers who treat living breathing human beings like some free trail of love and life. Should've taken the hint when she said "in a relationship you need to be selfish". Damned if you don't put in effort, and damned if you do. If you want to be close to them they find you annoying and start resenting you; if you give them space they accuse you for not doing enough and make a villain out of you. They jump from person to person, and everyone before you and now including you and those after you are a "lesson". Yet somehow after all those experiences they are the only ones who claim to always "love the wrong person", leaving behind a bloody trail paved with the shattered hearts of everyone who actually loved them.
But still being blocked is basically discarding other persons existance
Some people deserve it!
Block means GO AWAY.You mean nothing now
We're not even friends on social media. He blocks then unblocks then pokes me. Clearly, DAs want to bond because they wouldn't keep trying to date if they don't, but the kind of relationship they want is one where people don't bond but are pretty much alone. Some of these people don't know what they want, they tell you they want to leave and if you let them, they suddenly want to gain access back to you. They declare their feelings for you but then are wishy washy about it and their actions. They can't make up their mind and make contradictory inconsistent statements, but it's YOUR fault that they blocked you for not listening to them. Also, the ghosting/blocking is a message that's loud and clear so you don't chase them, then suddenly they unblock you and try to provoke you to get the attention, yet it's still your fault they blocked you even if they ghosted you long before that and gave them ample space. The mind games are not worth it.
those are disordered attachment people. learn about attachment theeory to understand the dynamic of why theyre like that.
Mine was worst than blocking me . She wants to end the relationship saying she is not feeling it after we went on a cruise together. Blocked me everywhere. Went and talked to her best friend about her behavior..worst she bashed me on TikTok. After 3 months changing guys like underwear she Unblocked me . I blocked her back.
Thanks to her I can literally describe you what Hell on earth looks a like . I don’t even wish these people to be close to my worst enemy. Stay away from them , this is my best advice!
Da’s are just cruel. They seem to not give a shit. Who wants to be with someone like that. I will never again.
Two words:
Their loss
Sounds like they are pretty selfish ..and If I’d known what was coming - I’d have steered well clear
It sounds like you’re coming to your own conclusions that will inform your choice of future potential partners. And that’s a good thing.
You hit the nail on the head as I have commented about my DA's similar behavior in breaking up with me.....selfish! She had no business being in a relationship.
@@ericgeorge6564
I agree.
Breaking up can be a very unselfish decision
The decision to breakup can be a courageous move, on a background of repeated heartbreaks since childhood and the decision to flee and perhaps adopt an indifferent attitude to protect oneself.
The DA is a suffering person and the decision to stay or leave can depend on how much guts and gumption you can muster in order to stay in contact.
@@anewlifestirring understand they may be suffering.. but be self aware and don’t destroy others
Tempting to reach out when THEY blocked you? It sounds like ‘blocking’ is permanent and they can’t undo it. Blocking a number so they are not ‘tempted’? It’s not stopping THEM from calling. It’s stopping the blockee. That didn’t sound right to me. It still just sounds so childish and rude to block someone-DA or not-if they are NOT BEING called or pursued.
I'm so happy having back my ex fiance back, after bring separated for 3months All thanks to mr Willson whom held me to get back my ex again I will suggest y'all get help from him and it's works within 2days.
I was in the same difficulties before he helped me few days ago.He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problem... 🏃♂🏃♂🏃♂.
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I agree but on the flip side what's the point of having them/each other around. I haven't blocked her but I'm puzzled that she hasn't blocked me. I don't harass her but it just seems like such a DA thing to do I expected it. If you're ice cold and rude and ignore someone then why not just block them and be done?
Block means go your ass away
True. Mine recently blocked me from everywhere.
Clearly he has issues stemming from his childhood. It don't matter if you both felt u was soulmates. It don't matter what special connection you felt with them.
It's the problem in them. Keep ghosting, silent treatments, leaving you on seen on purpose, does not call or hear no voice notes.
They just do not wan be attached, fear coming from them ruining shewt.
But what's worse is when you have fullu healed from all ur traumas, but they still stuck n have not found their light yet to heal.
That's the worse place to be in a relationship with someone like that. Cuz it will both destroy you mentally n emotionally
My dismissive avoidant ex bf broke up with 2 months ago he blocked me from Instagram only so today I asked him to block me from everywhere and he did it I'm hurt more than when he broke up with me , I did nc with him for 5 weeks but I break my nc and send him an apology text he responded and apologized too and now a week later this happened 💔
If after 4 years they bail out without giving a proper reason, is it not expected that I would want to talk and try to repair things? - She just acted as judge, jury and executioner without my input. I tried keeping some contact, hoping to reconnect - but she turned ice cold and blocked me.
She gave no closure, and couldn’t even wish me well, even though I wished her so.
She hurt me more than anyone has ever done before. It’s completely coloured my view of relationships going forward. I wish she had never started with me. The love bombing and talking about future plans, calling me her ‘soulmate’ and ‘love you more each day’ and then to change like a switch and turn 180 in space of 3 months has really damaged my mental health.
@NightVegas Sorry you went through this.. its really tough - 7 months on., I still sit here wondering if i should try emailing her.. and then I pinch myself and have to remember - if she wanted me - she would contact me.. In my head I still replay the good times and hope they would return.. but I’m kidding myself - they won’t.
Don't contact her. Trust me. She will be back. They always do.
Same shit mine did.
@@Polly1589 Hi - Never heard from her again ..!
@@Polly1589 😞 I’m so sorry you had to go through that .. truly awful behaviour on his part.
I still think about what happened in my case, how she behaved - it makes no sense, and never will. I finally realised that this woman was not what she appeared to be all along.
Anyone that can turn like that is just not mature or healthy. We as loving and loyal people deserve much better x
Great video, from i told my Ex he was a DA he blocked me. Still hurt to this day. But its the best thing for us because we broke up 4 times.
Glad it resonated. Sounds like it’s for the best.
Yes mine left after I told him. I'm not blocked though. Not this time.
This is crazy, I liked what we had. She (my DA) ghosted and blocked me for sending her flowers. I honestly felt she let me get to see her in a way she didn't let others. I was thinking I overwhelmed her when I sent the flowers. Maybe she felt like it was too much.
I'm sorry to hear that, George. Getting blocked is never easy.
The exact same thing happened to me after I dropped off flowers, macarons and a handwritten letter. I wish I had known about DAs in elementary school!
Was her name amy by any chance.
Well you guys been blocked..mine called police on me for coming to talk to her
@@tuftingpigeon that is crazy
My DA blocked me because my voice makes him emotional. ..
Iam not angry because I hurt him and refused to let him come and go in and out of my life. After 2 months, he texted tonight and I am okay with this and not talking. It was a very passionate and loving relationship for both of us. I know we love each other but, I can't take the "leaving"!!
Any update?
For me he blocked me only from Instagram (and refused to block me from everywhere) this was 2 months ago but yesterday I asked him to block me from everywhere I'm so hurt right now
@@darkmoon1951 so did he block you everywhere now?
Blocking that person is the best thing to do and just move on.They do not need closure.
There is another reason. I'm a recovered AP and before I worked on myawlf. My DA used to block me to self sooth and always came back. I kept pushing him away with my anxious attachment style.
That awareness can be really helpful in relationships… no matter which attachment style you date.
How long did it take him to come back?
Great video. Very helpful as to understanding where my ex might be and how this affects me too. I just need to let her go so that both she and I can heal. She is also my client still, so in trying to make sure that we both can heal, I probably need to end that relationship too.
Hey Laurence! Thanks for commenting. I'm glad you found the video helpful. I also know firsthand how having multiple relationships in one can further complicate things. 🙏
@@KatyaMorozova I'm her accountant. I keep waiting for her to fire me. If you heard the things she said to me when she dumped me, you would shake your head too. If I said the things that she said to me, I would never speak with that person again. Let alone give them more work. Was in no contact for six months until Friday when she emailed me with questions and then we talked on the phone for an hour. Tone was all business. Very professional. I'm just very confused. lol
@@KatyaMorozova Thanks again for the great video. It was very insightful. 👍
Katya, just to give you an update, my ex just got back from Europe with her new boyfriend. So that sums it up.
In my case, he wanted to hurt me-he took pleasure in making me feel bad. He’s a coward, and I know I deserve better.
His problem is that he’s some sort of celebrity in his field, with far too many women chasing him. But I was different-I challenged him. It was only a matter of time before he blocked me.
I need a strong man, not a weak, immature boy. No thanks!🙏🏻🦋
I'll never date a DA again. I dated this girl just shy of 6 months and we had a crazy strong connection to where she wanted commitment immediately. We got into ONE dispute that should have been resolved in minutes and she couldn't handle it. She straight blocked me on everything and never even told me we were breaking up or were done.
The last text I got from her was "I need time talk when I can" and blocked 2 days later. That was 2 weeks ago and it's completely blindsided me. Extremely cowardly and childish way to end things. We even had trips and stuff planned out for the year.
Never again.
Update?
What if the last message I sent was “I really don’t want to end things in a bad way & im not offended in anyway and hope you’re not too” (I’m secure)…and been an independent woman for many years. He blocked me straight after which left me with many questions…not triggered in any way. Any thoughts appreciated so I can try to understand? Thank you
They don't care about anybody
This literally makes no sense. Why would they need to move on if it was going well???
Maybe they weren’t being completely honest with you about their inner world in regards to the relationship.
@Michaelnolan1988 - Mine did the same - out of the blue .. Its horrible - I thought everything was going well too. And yet she wasn’t being honest with me it seems
@@KatyaMorozova that’s the answer. They’re dishonest people.
I have come to realize so many lies over the last 5 mths. We were married 9 yrs we had our first real argument which got heated and the next day she ran with
Two of the kids.
Sorriest shit I’ve ever had done to me in my life. Coldest behavior I’ve ever encountered. Bad thing is I truly believe about the time I get lawyers involved she’s going to be back. She’s dropped random nice or flirty texts . Then block . Wouldn’t sign paperwork to end it. Won’t come get their stuff.
Literally took our child and expects daycare to coordinate stuff then has daycare tell me I can’t pick up my kid or answer questions. It’s insane. Her mother the mean devil literally tried to dictate terms for awhile. I told that 7 time married mean devil I was not dealing with her in regards to my child.
Her daughter is 41 she can act like an adult. This event came on the heels of me losing 11 people in my family in 19 mths. It’s.
Been a crazy hard two years for me and she almost destroyed me. I really thought for a moment she had a lot of narcissistic tendencies after the split. I had just accepted her behavior for years and looking back she was always struggling with anxiety and depression I guess primarily from faking loving people.
Stemming from a tough childhood and it’s so sad.
I’ve never loved & trusted anyone like I did her in my life. It’s still hard to type that. I truly regret so many of my own negligent things. But it seems as long as she never had to have a job I was the best thing ever no matter if I worked two jobs or 90 hrs a wk or was a big wheel for years she loved that. Soon as she had to contribute it was just too much.
Great video sad details but true stuff. A bad environment growing up ends bad in adult relationships I’ve saw it twice now in the last 25 yrs I’ve encountered two really bad deals. I’ll always love this one and I don’t think I’m ever going to attach to anyone else now. She broke me.
I’d never do a soul as I have been done.
It’s cowardly, selfish, and hateful what I’ve encountered. Not a Godly way to be at all. I literally witnessed to this girl when she got saved. Never been more certain of a person in my life. I’ve never saw anyone just devalue a persons love for them as she did me. Mind blowing and heart wrenching. Thank God he had me I almost gave up
@@wyattearp7082 exactly
Well seems to me that once they’re done in their mind or something bad happens they rather just move on from it since they want to avoid it happening again.
Totally hit a nerve. But it was right on the money
As ever, a lucid, informative and helpful analysis, motivated by benevolence and sustained by rationality and understanding. It is important to remind people how anxiety often serves as a self-interested controlling agency that diminishes others’ liberty and smothers them. Such smothering is always exasperating, particularly when a person is struggling to rediscover a sense of freedom.
Open discussions are always better than coldness, indifference or disregard.
This isn't DA. This is anyone going through this.
I think my wife which ran off ghosted me and my two oldest kids. Has my 2 yr old and now I haven’t saw him in two months. We went back and forth a couple mths prior I did all I knew to reconcile she wasn’t having it. But this is bs on our child. She’s being a selfish witch honestly .
I know my ex was a type of person that was always on social media looking at other women and not just that but he would lie about everything everything came out of his mouth was a lie you can prove things or show him something in black and white and he was still deny it I just got tired of it and I decided to just leave and I went no contact and have continued no contact even though he has try contacting me when you need to call him I have went no contact cause it doesn’t seem like he listens he wants everything his way so I decided to move on
When you are tire of nonsense by so call adults you just end it point blank and MOVE ON and do not look back.
I blocked them instead. If they really care then they will reach out, if not, then it makes it easier for me. Im not going ro take responsibility for an adult child
What if they only block you on one platform? Was only blocked on one platform and for a short time. But I never bothered her on that platform.
I've been learning so much and recommending you big time.
My DA husband asked for a divorce and moved out 8 months ago. 3 months ago, he said he'll get back with a decision.... Nothing yet. No sign of going this way or that, just radio silence..what could it mean?
Thank you for sharing my channel! I so appreciate it. I recommend booking a session where we can dig into your question and I can get more details from you about your unique situation.
This was much needed and greatly appreciated
It’s my pleasure. ✨
My ex, who i think is a DA - Wouldn't block me, even if I asked him ( just after the BU) - Why Wouldn't he?
I think it’s interesting how the school of psychology has evolved as it relates to the evolution of technology. Meaning, back in the 1980s, for example. When you ended a relationship, at best, some drove by their exes house. Other than that, you generally would just take the phone off the hook, and in today’s world of technology, with multiple platforms available. I am of the opinion that it makes it extremely challenging to move on from a relationship, not to mention, technology tends to drive the impulsivity control issues, in other words, you have more accessibility to snoop on your ex more than ever. So it’s interesting to me that there’s a topic about blocking. Furthermore, I don’t understand why the labels of attachment is some sort of key indicator. All attachments in theory, do the same thing, it’s a break up, you grieve, you try to move to a position of “out of sight, out of mind.” In this case with technology, you block them. What do you label people that struggle with impulsivity control of wondering what ex’s are doing post break up? Labels belong on jars. People process break ups differently and technology truly makes it harder than ever due to social media platforms. So you block them, and now you’re a DA? No, you’re a human that knows what you need to do under personal discipline to move on from someone you love or loved. If an ex is out of sight, out of mind. It doesn’t matter what anyone with attachment does. The objective is to move on. If not, call them and when on it. If not, move on. Pretty simple.
DAs...the worst kind of people.
Especially single mother DAs.
I spent over 2 years .mine was from china..did everything any man would or will ever do for her and her daughter..the shady behaviour started..IG nonsense..lack of interest ..texting less ..longer wait for replies..if you call them out on there shit behaviour and disrespect off they go..ghost you with no closure or effort...on to the next..its there restart..got to start fresh with someone who isnt aware...they act normal in the beginning.they want love commitment..security..blah blah.
Until you see there indifference..masked with sex..they hunt options ..follow there GFs..who are riding the CC.. its the worst wasted time investment for any man...mgtow. for life.!
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex 3 days ago without delay
contact him right away ☝.
😅Passport bro got played. I don't blame you for turning MGTOW. Ouch.
Hey
I got a difficult situation here, my gf broke up with me for the third time
She broke up with me and block me right after the break up , but before the break up happened she was telling me that she’s so sorry for breaking up with me two times and she feel sorry that she was toxic and then 30 minutes later she told me that I’m her angel and I did everything for her and I did a lot for her and then she msg me breaking up with me and leaving me for good with no return this time and block me on everything single thing
And I really treated her very well and out of the blue every time she break up with me
I’m in no contact now but I don’t know are she gonna come back? Or time to move on?
Also do you think she’s a Dismissive avoidant? Every time she broke up with me out of blue even if things are going well with non sense of her excuses
Excellent. I have experience of the spiral. 14 year relationship. She finally blocked me on Messanger. I have come to a point where I can't go through this hot and cold situation. Although it hurts every person has their breaking point and that's the point I have got to. This is now the hard part
My ex broke up with me on nov. 4, i did the no contact and radio silence after the break up, after 2 weeks he unfriended me like i am doing nothing, i never disturbed him and i never reach out to him because i gave him time. I get it of unfriend me if im being clingy to him or im begging him or post something on social media but he unfriend me while im doing nothing, what could be his reason? Pls help me
It pained that person to see you.
This is a bad scenario. My ex reached out to me after 4 months of no contact. I was the one who broke up. She asked me if there was a chance to get back together and I said that she is not the person right now that would be good for me to be in a relationship. It's just to straining on my mental health. She got angry and now I've noticed she blocked me.
I got mine to unblock me. Mine blocked me after apologizing for lying, cheating, and manipulating. Then asking for a second chance, and finally getting upset because I expressed my thoughts and feelings about a situation in which she lied about.
She asked me to take her home after the conversation even though she was supposed to stay with me for 3 days. I said no. She got an Uber and ran, and while running away she told me “I love you”.
I didn’t find out I was blocked until a week later when I physically showed up to her doorstep to give her back her items. Then I called her while leaving and found out I was blocked.
I contacted her on a Google number requesting a conversation not about the situation that occurred and she unblocked me and called me and I asked her to go to the beach and she said yes. Then in the car I told her don’t block me again. I was like you know I’m not the type to blow up someone’s phone and harass them. And she said I guess you’re right and tried to say in the past I didn’t but couldn’t recall a moment.
We went to the beach and had a decent time not talking about the situation (I really don’t want to) and then she invited to see a movie later on in the week.
Mine only blocked on certain communication channels. However her social media still has our stuffs on it after 1 month of breaking up. What does that signify?
My ex was indirectly reposting tik toks after blocking my number about me not meeting her emotional needs, was she wanting me to indirectly respond to try to fix things i wasn’t reacting to anything and then it turned bitter and mean and then unfollowed and blocked me and i never reached out?
Mine got really bad news saying he is going totally blind, so he told me "no future with a blind man", and he was gonna go back home to his fam in dif state.
I tried to talk to him, because its a setback not end of his life, then he blocked me. Until that news from his dr, things were going well. He was planning dates, asking me for photos, and communicating daily.
Now, nothing.
I went from giving a beautiful diamond ring, to my ex gf then getting dumped and discarded 3 days later.
No closure just dumped and blocked.
this video made me cry =(
Holy fuck this is so damn accurate
The DA wants the relationship on their terms. They want to pick and chose the access they want with you. It doesn't work that way. They don't get their cake and eat it too. #AvoidtheAvoidant
So search for an avoidance ex and I watched a couple videos and it makes a lot sense. My question is that I was the one that broke the trust in our relationship and I do care for her. I didn’t understand her blocking me and avoiding me. She wanted to stay friends with me and I wanted more. We haven’t talked for a couple months now. I did a few things after the breakup like driving by her house and she didn’t like that. Now she’s begging me to leave her alone to move on. We were dating for 2 years and we had a deep connection. I believe that we are meant to be. It’s been a year now since our breakup but after the breakup we were still seeing each other till 6- 8 months ago since I got my own place. I still love her but I can’t get out my head the fact she bumped into an old friend and she end up dating this guy in wish now they aren’t talking. You think we have a chance to be together?
No
Yes
My ex blocked me on social media but then turned around and called my cell phone and hung up twice and called and left a message for me to call him I had been gone no contacts every since and before he blocked me so what was the purpose for blocking me if you try to call me on my phone. If you didn’t wanna be bothered
Great video, thanks! 👍
You're welcome! Thanks for watching.
I don't care if it was year 2084. I don't do social media. RUclips doesn't count as I post no pictures for validation or updates to make my life seem more interesting than it is. I find it very feminine when men use social media and very attention seeking when women use social media. I don't have to worry about being blocked. 😅
I sent my dismissive ex of 7 yrs links on Dismissive avoidants. My hunch is he probably could see himself and blocked me. Up to that point he was enjoying my texting him but claimed not to be yet despite my saying block me then he said I’m not a child don’t tell me what to do.
Same thing I tried to send my ex link on dismissive avoidants she blocked me everywhere straight up
Ha! As if they ever prioritized your feelings!
They block your number but not social media.
Yes I don’t understand this one 🥴why not block on everything
@@Tmason__ they need a door to come back through.
Mine was only one of several social media accounts. And that was 5 months after breakup and no contact. I don’t understand that at all.
I’ve been in a relationship with a male DA for 4 years. He’s now left me again, he’s done this about 3 or more times to this extent where he’s now blocked me. He knows something is wrong with him. He told me 2 days before blocking me, to try my hardest to talk him out of being like this when he gets into this pattern, this cycle 🤷♀️ sometimes it works, this time it made him block me 🥺 then he comes back, and acts like he never broke up with me. It’s very confusing. I thought he had a boarder line personality disorder but I think he’s a DA. He hasn’t come back this time, I don’t think he will this time. I believed he was my person in this lifetime and made me believe I was his too… 🤷♀️😢 thank you for the videos.
Hi! So sad to read. 😔
Did your boyfriend ever come back?
I'm experiencing the same. My (I think DA) boyfriend (also 4 years relationship) blocked and ghosted me 7 weeks ago, out of nowhere. He cancelled a date again, very last minute, through text message. And it was the first time that I replied that it hurt me always being the cancelled one, while he sees his friends all the time and never cancels them. And without even replying a word, he blocked and ghosted me. 😔 He ghosted me in the past, but never blocked me before. I'm so heartbroken.
X
How are you now? Sorry to hear that
I broke up with my DA before Thanksgiving he went silent on me for about 45 days. He popped up took me on a weekend vacation for New Years and dropping me off at the airport says we are not back together and I need to learn its consequences for my actions of leaving him. He set the reset on the relationship to put distance between us. I have to keep boundaries and walk away because I refuse to be a booty call or friends with benefits when I dated him with intent to marry.
@@shebutter3195 They will continue to run as long as you chase or they can see your upset. These kind of men want you only when you don't give a shit about them
Reddit Reddit that is unfortunately the story of my life all of the men I loved didn’t receive it they ran from it until I no longer wanted them anymore they came back and feelings were no longer there.
My ex broke up w me in July randomly, blocked me on everything. Then rebounded within 4 weeks and is with them still, then unblocked me and kept talking to me whilst with the person on the low. Then she randomly blocked me again 4 months later on everythubg again
Mine did that recently, but only unfriended me from snapchat not blocked. I can still reply to his public snap stories
N not blocked me from my private ig, but he put my msgs on restricted. Rest of everywhere else I am blocked. He even deleted my cell number from his contacts n whatsapp
My DA blocked me for 5 weeks then came back and we were jn a relationship for 6 months then we broke up and I blocked him but he won't block me. It may be because i told him if he ever blocked me again id take that as we're over for good.
yeah and what to do when youre married and he ends it by text and takes off
He's a coward and incapable of love.
What if they blocked me immediately after the breakup while we still live together?
He blocked me for 2 weeks while he was abroad “because it better for two of us”. Ive blocked him too. after 2 weeks he unblocked me. I saw a lot of new girls in his ig, i know he moved on.. and i dont want to go back of course.. but im just woundering why did he unblocked me after 2 weeks? Can he heal after 2 weeks???
I didn't get told it was over, I got complements then I got blocked and after two days then I get requested and contacted
DAs seem a lot like people with PTSD.
Some people with insecure attachment styles also struggle with CPTSD / developmental trauma.
@@KatyaMorozova Good to know. Will look into it.
I call it beaten puppy syndrome.
@@ConceptHutAvoid DAs at all costdls...fuxk that
My ex blocked me on his phone and fb three weeks ago and now he blocked me on one platform too. we don't have anymore outlets. he is in relationship/rebound relationship. Does this mean he is getting very serious with this girl or he will unblock me eventually. also as a side note he still has our profile pic on his fb if you go back to his profile pics now. he hasn't deleted that.
I feel sorry for the feminist they don't want to hear the truth they will forever be used
How to reprogram the DA style? Really want tobe secure in relationship
Google this:
how to become securely attached
Not at all a joke. The links should give you a starting point. Maybe even the same search on RUclips.
How can u not take anything they do personally you literally was in a relationship together!!!! Its called communication they just as bad as a narcissist!!!
Hey I just want to heal from it. I don't really care to understand them I forgive them honestly I just want to heal from it that's all. I want to detach and grow the moment it happened I tried contacting her for 20mins just to really understand why that's really it but after that I gave up an just wanted to heal that's really it.
I’m a DA and this video feels so validating to me lol you hit the nail on the head. I had an ex i only saw for two months, I sent her two break up texts telling her we were not compatible and we were done and we could still be friends but I had no intentions for a romantic connection and she just ignored that implicitly.
She said “okay” but she’d still flirt with me and use pet names with me and asked me hypotheticals about my future romantic plans even though I made it really clear I was no longer interested so I just started using really short responses and eventually archived the chat. when I got into another relationship and posted about it she spammed my dms on my socials with very biphobic sentiments (I’m bi, she’s lesbian and I’m with a guy now) so I blocked her.
it’s really really annoying when someone thinks they know what you want better than you do and tries to impose their will onto your life without your consent.
@NightVegas 👏
Funny you don't mention what you did to her.
Wonder what you did for her to react that way...
You are the issue
Y’all are evils.
It’s not that we sabotage. We truly are just not into gameplaying and tit-for-tat type of relationships. When I’m done with you, I am truly done with you. I’m not a revolving door. So yes, I will block you and move on with my life. I think what people don’t understand about us is that initially we will wear our heart on our sleeves because we are brutally honest. But when we pick up on toxic behavior or gameplaying, that most people do, we are just not at all built to do that, so we will block you and go on with our lives. I hate that people who are not like us try to give us a bad rap for being insensitive or cold. It’s not that at all. We are highly attuned and discerning when it comes to BS/manipulation and we shut it down quick. I’m actually really proud to be an avoidant attachment style. It has saved me from a lot of heartache and toxic experiences.
You also shut out loving connections because giving in is a loss of control and recieving love is too unknown to accept. Unknown=no control.
You can be proud all you want, avoidents do have really good strenghts, but also take responsibility to the good people you discard along the way.
@@onnol917 you really said this well
Saving from toxic experiences? Lol most DAs are the toxic ones lmao
I’m a DA and the main reason for blocking exes is so I can “clear space” for the next person I date. Exes are often drama for future relationships and I just have zero desire to keep them in my life. It’s not personal, it’s just a part of moving on.
Thanks for sharing! That makes total sense. I'm sure your comment will be helpful to other viewers who are curious about this topic.
Dating a DA, I am coming to understanding how you function. I respect that. However, the DA comes in and out bc of their need for self independence at the expense of their partner's needs for validation. So why get into a relationship if it becomes a need to find the next relationship? Will you always e clearing space? Great for you. Sucks for everyone else.
@@tellytruth8554 wouldn't it be easy for them to get some therapy and work on their issues? I know it is a scary place to go for most of individuals with insecure attachment style, but it would save a lot unnecessary heartbreaks.
Yuck. That’s all I have to say about you’re type no offense lol
Yeah you shouldn't date.
I'm a DA in toxic relationships. This definitely resonates. I block for peace of mind and to let go. I communicate and then Iet go for my own mental health and to not allow myself to be used or boundaries continually crossed.
So you think it’s fine to mentally harm the other person by blocking them right away? Sending a breakup text and then blocking right away is torture towards them. If you’re going to end things at least have a convo about what went wrong, why it can’t be fixed ect.
Evil
You are the issue, grow up
You evil
So it is about your mental health huh? What about understanding the other side, because not even a break up conversation is OK. Giving a chance to listen to a point, thinking how you caused this, and seeing the person as he is not his attachments.. Just block em and be in peace, the other side, who cares huh
I found out yesterday from a friend he was active on plenty of fish. It said he was single, actively looking for a relationship for long-term. We've been together for over a year and a half and when I messaged him on Instagram he blocked me and I've no closure. Also my friend (who hasn't met him yet and doesn't know who he is) showed me her inbox and he said and I quote "I am no good at this texting thing. Would you like to meet up for a drink or coffee to get to know each other better". I bet he copy and pasted that to every single woman on POF.
They all are searching for new flesh to start the cycle again.
They all flirt even when you think you are an item.
My now ex GF went distant on me for a few weeks, lack of sex drive which she blamed on her not feeling attractive, pulled away when I tried to kiss her but then still pulled me in for cuddles and kisses literally a week before she finished with me. Told me she loved me and then pulled away again. She had trouble sleeping and 3 days before she finished with me didn’t sleep all night. She had a couple of hours in the morning and then when she woke up sat in bed with her head in her hands for a good hour then went home seemingly ok as she left. I barely heard from her for the next 2 days which was really off because she always rang and text all day. I called her up on it and said I’d felt like she’d been pushing me away recently (my anxious side coming out) she said she thought she should stay away for a couple of weeks to ‘figure some things out on her own’ I tried to get her to talk about it rather than block me out which is when she turned around and said (via text) that I was more into it than she was, I deserve someone who can be who I want them to be (which is her) it’s not you it’s me etc…..Pretty much every excuse you can’t argue with and then she finished it. The next day she came to pick up her things and she was like a complete stranger it was really hard on me to see that side of her and it seemed to come right out of the blue. Within an hour she had blocked me almost everywhere and over the next few days there was more blocking! I left her alone as she had asked for space but then curiosity got the better of me and I text her, it went through but she ignored it. (I don’t understand blocking me everywhere other than on the phone) Fast forward a week and she had been at a mutual friends house all day and that friend told me she didn’t expect my reaction to the break up (I said a couple of things I regretted in the moment when she picked her stuff up) I already knew I wanted to apologise for them so I text again and said sorry and can we talk. She replied that I didn’t need to say sorry to her and there was nothing left to talk about it wasn’t the right fit anymore and we should give each other space. That was the last thing I heard off her. It’s only been 2 weeks and she is on dating sites (yes I checked!) and seemingly moving on like the last 7 months never happened. I still really want her back but these videos are really helping me to look at it another way and making me wonder 1) if she ever will reach out and 2) what I’d do if she does? I’d never even heard of attachment styles until now but it is giving me a lot of strength to deal with the heartache and feelings of loss by getting some form of understanding on what went so wrong for her. Although she is acting so cold at the minute I know she is a good person and she is/was struggling with mental health issues so I can’t get angry with her. All I wanted was us to be in it together for the long haul and I really thought she did too. This is the hardest break up I’ve ever been through because I really don’t know what I did if anything that made her pull back and then turn so cold. I do have a tendency to be more on the anxious side of things but I really focussed on keeping that in check with her because I have pushed people away in the past with it and I’ve learned from it. I’m really at a loss on what to do. It seems like my only choice is to walk away but I really do think if we were to talk about this stuff together and work things out on this basis of what our needs are and how we could come to meet in the middle on them then we could really have something really good together. 💔
Update?
I think mine - can't really call her an ex but someone I talked to romantically for a long time - ignored me on messenger after I finally sent her an email telling her all about her behavior but she hasn't unfriended or blocked me on social media and I'm wondering why since it seems like the first thing a DA would do.