Love Bombing VS Real Love - How to Tell the Difference

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  • Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024

Комментарии • 234

  • @dopeblacktherapist
    @dopeblacktherapist 4 года назад +80

    Run. the most important word in this whole video. Not walk. Not leave. Not skip. Not mosey. RUN. SPRINT. FAR AND FAST.

  • @victoriaalbastra6325
    @victoriaalbastra6325 3 года назад +128

    "Good people don't pretend to be evil. Evil people pretend to be good. "

    • @TheRonaldbaxter
      @TheRonaldbaxter 3 года назад +2

      Sums up the covert narcissist when unmasked! 😡

    • @TheIntrovert83
      @TheIntrovert83 2 года назад

      💯

    • @stephanietorres350
      @stephanietorres350 2 года назад

      What if a good person feels like they might be evil and bc of that.. feels they don't deserve or should get close to such a good person?

    • @maddart4445
      @maddart4445 2 года назад

      I love that. I will remember it.

    • @maddart4445
      @maddart4445 2 года назад +2

      @@stephanietorres350 that is evil speaking to you don’t listen to it. When you start thinking those thoughts starting praying. Say something like God made me in his image. God loves every part of me. Jesus is always by my side. Replace evil thoughts with good thoughts about yourself. I hope that helps.

  • @musicgirl999
    @musicgirl999 Год назад +25

    A few years ago, I did date someone that quickly began to shower me with all this love and affection which did honestly scare me. He started acting like this on our second date. He wanted to always hang out or text. I remember telling him I couldn’t hang out and he got all bent out of shape and called me a BS tease. Even though I did give in and go and hang out with him one night, I’m glad I saw all these red flags early on before there wasn’t even a title.
    When people show you who they are, believe them. I’m glad I got out away early on!
    Narcissists are very insecure and if you call them out for something they’ll make you look like the bad guy just to make them look and feel better.

    • @PJHEATERMAN
      @PJHEATERMAN Год назад +1

      Your natural mental boundaries as a woman told you what was real. I wish my wife had your instincts before giving up her vows to me. He dumped her a month later when the new play toy got boring.

  • @tyler5027
    @tyler5027 2 года назад +25

    Hyde is the real person because "Good people don't pretend to be evil, but evil people do pretend to be good" That hit me.

  • @rachmaninovwasemo2313
    @rachmaninovwasemo2313 4 года назад +149

    Real love comes when you don't need love from anyone else to feel whole. Because when you aren't whole you will be blinded by the things the other person is doing that are filling in those empty spots. You will fall in love with a person beyond what they do to boost your ego.

  • @robertswift6101
    @robertswift6101 3 года назад +182

    these people are very dangerous to empaths

    • @mosherichard6216
      @mosherichard6216 3 года назад

      I guess it's kind of off topic but do anyone know of a good website to watch newly released tv shows online ?

    • @johnathanedwin6696
      @johnathanedwin6696 3 года назад

      @Moshe Richard ehh I'd suggest flixportal. just google after it :) -johnathan

    • @mosherichard6216
      @mosherichard6216 3 года назад

      @Johnathan Edwin Thank you, signed up and it seems to work :D I really appreciate it !!

    • @johnathanedwin6696
      @johnathanedwin6696 3 года назад

      @Moshe Richard Happy to help xD

    • @123gozane
      @123gozane 2 года назад

      They snack on empaths..

  • @user-qy3oh7xm8n
    @user-qy3oh7xm8n 2 года назад +12

    Married to a NPD/Sociopath for 31 years - you are absolutely spot on. I spent many years trying to get the man he was when we first met back - not realizing that that was just a façade. He did every single thing you mentioned. I’m the single cat lady now - and VERY HAPPY!!

  • @swiftkarma4436
    @swiftkarma4436 3 года назад +24

    I always felt wobbly on that pedestal and was always looking for the signs. After 3 months I saw what I needed and cut it. This fool had the wrong one.

    • @traceyburder4710
      @traceyburder4710 2 года назад +3

      Exactly same thing has just happened to me , he was grooming me love bombing me , emotionally saying I just want to be with you etc etc all the while having someone else, he was looking to move on from her…. After a narcissistic relationship a few years before I’ve learnt and grown so much and saw the signs and also learnt some more .. this fool too had the wrong one .. I am so very proud of myself ..

  • @ggates5371
    @ggates5371 2 года назад +8

    Love bombing: “I want you to stay up all night with me, because I can’t stand to be away from you.
    Real Love: “you look tired. You should sleep.”

    • @jadehalliday6636
      @jadehalliday6636 Год назад

      That's definitely the more respectful, loving thing to say ❤

  • @maisiesands7624
    @maisiesands7624 3 года назад +45

    Yeah this literally just happened to me, he spent all weekend with me saying how happy he was and how he sees a future with me with dogs and kids etc and then dumped me a day later with little to no explanation just that he thinks we “rushed it” even tho he was the one who asked me to be his girlfriend 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 thanks for the video tho! Definitely a lesson learned very useful.

    • @isla8718
      @isla8718 3 года назад +5

      Yeh the same think happened to me known him for 2 months he was obsessively love bombing me creepily staring at me all over me spent 3 hours persuading me to come on dating site as he wanted me to be his 😆 and then ghosted me creepyyyy men

    • @a_secret_tho
      @a_secret_tho 2 года назад +1

      Same thang happened to me!!! He booked the fanciest hotel for me and bought me fancy dinner and everything and told everybody how special I am and everything and I was dragged into it, maybe I knew it was going somewhere too fast but I didn't think it was problematic cuz I was hooked already. And then in a few weeks he started to trxt me much less and avoided having deep convo with me and I found out he started dating other girls. Not sure he was a type of guy who loves the idea of love or he did it intentionally to manipulate me but in either case, it's not healthy for me nor he cannot give me what I need and want so I know I gotta move on.

    • @a_secret_tho
      @a_secret_tho 2 года назад +3

      But what sucks is that the intensity of love bombing was too hard and I just sometimes drawn myself into those short intense memories and it is just so addictive... and I confuse myself like do I miss him maybe I did sth wrong, maybe it would have worked out if I behaved differently at that time .. regrets and missing and everything gets me frustrated and I wanna stop this but I don't know how :(((

  • @kassandramarie3789
    @kassandramarie3789 Год назад +2

    Lovebombing has crushed me 😢

  • @david________
    @david________ 3 года назад +12

    I just came to the realization that I’ve done this in every relationship I’ve been in and had plans on doing it again…

  • @caryhalpern2238
    @caryhalpern2238 Год назад +3

    It happened to me, the most awful thing I've ever experienced.

  • @GlowandGrow_
    @GlowandGrow_ 2 года назад +5

    Yep. It feels “too good to be true”. That should definitely give us pause.

  • @user-ee5om8wy7u
    @user-ee5om8wy7u 4 года назад +77

    I met a person who for THREE YEARS went out with me to all the places I loved. He showed with his ACTIONS, not just words, that he loved all those places I went to. So we went together to art festivals, art museums, galleries, and also concerts and walk through parade streets with ancient style architecture, and also parks and beaches. Those various places we both enjoyed for THREE years, or so I thought. When I came to believe that, on top of having great sex, attention, and affection, we also have almost everything in common since he liked all my interests. (Today I'd take it as a red flag because nobody should like all the same things - even identical twins don't like all the same things!!!) Once I moved in to live with this person on a third year, all the interests stopped. He stopped going out with me without explanation - it was more like ghosting. Then the affection and hugs stopped, then the irritation at me and devaluation for who I was with lots of silents treatments ensued and became the norm. Due to gaslighting, I could not figure out why I felt so bad. But after five years of living together, by the time I realized something wasn't healthy and I started having panic attacks, I broke up.
    If I could notice the fake love-bombing in the first THREE years (long time to play a fake character), I would not be so influenced to move in together. So, if it's a long-distance relationship, the love-bombing may actually last for years.......but may be it's a good thing to try living together to find out the true person, but it's not necessary to stretch it out for five years. I think in four-six months of living together, you could figure the person out.

    • @Marixpress2
      @Marixpress2 3 года назад +15

      I learned who he was by living together a year. It was a catalyst for our problems, and thank goodness because he could have kept on the facade for many more years had we not moved in together. One year of hell but I learned and grew so much.

    • @robertswift6101
      @robertswift6101 3 года назад +16

      you are now a survivor like me....these people are dangerous to empaths and people with genuine hearts

    • @gelokakabu9473
      @gelokakabu9473 3 года назад

      @@cristinam9046 hahahaha

    • @ryanpagano9355
      @ryanpagano9355 3 года назад +15

      Lol, if he’s perfect for 3 years, it’s a red flag. If he’s not perfect, his imperfections are red flags. Sometimes things happen. That’s the problem with all of these claims of narcissism and narcissistic traits. It makes good people out to be monsters, or potential monsters. Everyone is so freakin paranoid now days, and distrusting. And when you work around the assumption that someone is faking 3 years, or more, you never really trust, and that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of why people, detach, distance, and ghost. You’re putting out vibes that make people not want to stick around. Narcissists make up less than 1% of the population. The odds that everyone is landing them all the time is zero. That probably means you’re just dealing with normal, flawed people that can coincidentally fit very broad descriptions.

    • @cristinam9046
      @cristinam9046 3 года назад

      @@gelokakabu9473 hahahaha :))))

  • @godsdoll3557
    @godsdoll3557 3 года назад +16

    Talking abt their deep darkest stories that are untrue or partly☹️ so that u open abt ur authentic one, that they will use to attack u with😳 later in the relationship.

  • @Marixpress2
    @Marixpress2 3 года назад +18

    These are great. It's a great reminder that nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. It was doomed from Day One. The horror that I was preyed on has finally subsided after 19 months post no contact.

  • @michaelc1154
    @michaelc1154 Год назад +6

    I think what people mistaken love bombing and just being sweet is when you’re nice you expect something in return. When you’re sweet, you’re just being yourself. Don’t change yourself for someone else, just because you’re excited to see someone doesn’t mean you’re a love bomber.

    • @fraydizs7302
      @fraydizs7302 Год назад +1

      Yeah thats why sometimes the concept of "love bombing" can be confusing sometimes. Sometimes the person is actually just a kind giving person and found someone to share their kindness with... In cases like this someone could assume that a genuinely kind person is love bombing...

  • @Enchanteralle
    @Enchanteralle 3 года назад +15

    OMG so true. Someone who talks about how strong of a religious faith they have and all the good stuff they do is so opposite from how they describe themselves. Met someone. He ended up sounding like a jerk after the first 15 mins after learning that I'm not religious. At first I thought he might have had bad relationships w/ non-religious women in the past, so i gave him the benefit of the doubt. But he just seemed so passive aggressive and rigid...which prob means he is set in his own way. No room to accommodate. I learn from this experience that a big red flag is if someone tries hard to prove and say that he/she is a good, honest person. He dropped me after I set boundaries and I'm glad I dodged that bullet. Saved myself from a heart break.

    • @Enchanteralle
      @Enchanteralle 3 года назад

      @Phoenix Chui it's true that people thrive and heal with support from their religious faith. that's a good thing. the guy i mentioned is probably some sort of communal narcissist or he's just someone who does not care about how others feel. i just hope others don't let him take advantage of them while he disguises himself as a sheep. i'd hate to see people use religion to earn the trust of good people when they don't have good intention.

    • @miad6160
      @miad6160 3 года назад +1

      @Phoenix Chui a lot of them ARE religious, but they have their own warped perception of it, just like their perception of themselves.

    • @popejesus3851
      @popejesus3851 2 года назад +1

      It's funny when a person says they are religious but they act the opposite, they sit and listen to certain music, there hobbies have nothing around good, they don't go to church, yet they say they grew up catholic but they cuss up a storm left n right and seem demanding.

  • @pooyakazemi7977
    @pooyakazemi7977 2 месяца назад

    I don't know why this video doesn't get more likes! Good info , excellent delivery.

  • @rebekahjette6304
    @rebekahjette6304 2 года назад +6

    Buttering you up before you get fried...that is a great word picture Sarah‼️I really appreciate the content of your videos. Thank you for being a voice for survivors/victims‼️

  • @fanaticaH
    @fanaticaH 3 года назад +18

    I think love bombing should be talked more on grooming talks because it is just another grooming technique, specially for adults.
    I think most cases of guys turning their supposedly innocent relationships with younger women as soon as they become legal or the age they think women look their best was through love bombing.
    One friend said a contact went from zero to 100, moving from sending random memes from saying he loved her and he would write songs for his band, maybe she would be his first girlfriend to have her actual name on the title because he wouldn't care if fans became jealous.

  • @tommypowell1137
    @tommypowell1137 3 года назад +9

    Thank you for this wonderful truth. We can certainly be fooled by the overwealming "love bombing" early in the relationship. If the fruit of the Spirit is not evident we should run!

  • @Anxta117
    @Anxta117 3 года назад +10

    I'm currently going through a divorce, my soon to be ex wife mostly did all these things at the start of our relationship, I let her in emotionally but my intuition told me to get away from her the entire time. I finally left 4 months ago and waiting to file for divorce.

  • @samme1024
    @samme1024 Год назад +1

    Been there, done that. Never again! I had no idea people could be so immature and cruel.

  • @melissagodlewski
    @melissagodlewski Год назад +2

    This was awesome. I especially like the part where love feels safe. I grew up around scary baptists and I never believed that was love. Frightening someone, ridiculing them or acting superior is not love...in fact... it's probably hate. Knowing cult leaders like that for a long time made me wonder "Why do you hate me so much?"
    It was such a hard pill to swallow but really love is honesty, not denial. Letting go of hateful people is the only way to let safe, kind, honest people into your life. No hippocracy. They wouldn't gossip about you or make you feel like you have to keep secrets. Don't drink the kool-aid. That's all it is with love bombers that need constant attention. Run!

    • @ginasverige2570
      @ginasverige2570 Год назад

      Yes, I've come to the conclusion that deep inside these people hate themselves and that's all they can give out. So, much lies in religion too.

  • @queenofthebutterflies5212
    @queenofthebutterflies5212 3 года назад +23

    I love this. Your insight is BRILLIANT. Setting boundaries is absolutely the best test.

  • @MomOfBoysNOLA
    @MomOfBoysNOLA 3 года назад +5

    Perfect! This is so on point! It happens so slowly that you don't realize it till it's too late.

  • @ChefRondaE
    @ChefRondaE 3 года назад +5

    What an absolutely correct video. I was married to a clinically diagnosed NPD which means narcissistic personality disorder man for 20 years I now know what this love bombing means and I'll tell you it really does happen. Everything was peaches and cream sunshines and rainbow and then it started. The handholding stopped the nice things stopped the Hey hon what can I do for you Stopped my family stopped wanting to be around me because of him but they didn't want to fully stop but they tolerated him. My whole life revolved around him and I did not know this until it was way into the relationship I had the peripheral rose colored glasses on And they were as rose colored as you could get it. I have been divorced now from the NPD person for over 10 years and it has taken me 10 years To love myself again to know that I can do what I would like to do. If I wanna go out to dinner with someone I can I don't have to ask permission or should I say I don't have to beg permission. Now I'm seeing someone new and I feel that it is a good time in my life because I have taken the 10 years To get to know me the old me again and what's nice is that I've known this person for a long time and they have taken time To get to know themselves after their divorce. So we are taking baby steps in learning each other and taking it slow.. It's nice that he is taking the time to learn about me and me to learn about him all of the good the bad and the ugly. So to someone who is in a narcissistic marriage please prepare yourself and your children to exit out as fast as you can as financially as you can and reach out to family and friends that will help you learn how to love yourself again. If I would have known that living and Being with an NPD for 20 years shoot I should write a book Maybe I will one of these days maybe I can help someone not go through the hard ache that I did.

  • @msknich0le
    @msknich0le 3 года назад +10

    Finally a professional that includes God’s word. I’m so thankful to hear this honest message.

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 3 года назад +9

    Yeah I get the part where you say they get you gifts you don't even like because they don't know you, just what they think you'd like. I got tones of Teddy bears and a few jewellery items. I wasn't into necklaces, my parents knew this and some of the Teddy bears were cute, and at the time I could see he was trying to make the effort so I didn't like to say anything. I didn't want him to stop trying in the relationship - that was how I thought at the time....

    • @catlady6938
      @catlady6938 3 года назад +2

      I can relate to that, during the love bombing stage I got a charm bracelet that was not my thing at all but wore it to please him. He certainly didn’t know me, took me 4 months to realise what he was and he knew I had figured him out at the end.

  • @1love847
    @1love847 Год назад +2

    I had that feeling more than once that I was so high and happy that the connection felt too good to be true. But months in I didn't want to be love bombed and never even knew the word before. BUT I even told him it didn't feel good to have him act like nothing happened and going back to being so loving after accusing and interrogating me for things I hadn't done and upsetting me.

  • @caseywatson4508
    @caseywatson4508 Год назад +1

    100% right. Even the kindest, loving person can be a monster. My ex ended up being a narcissist and hid an affair from me. He finally came clean and I put up the no contact walls right away. He exhibited ALL of these qualities that I didn't know were red flags. Hard lesson learned!

  • @PrisantyaFridayana
    @PrisantyaFridayana 2 года назад +12

    I was once in a relationship with love bombing phase at the beginning
    But at that time, It was blurry for me cause I thought that's honeymoon phase (we are officially in a comitted relationship)
    After 3 months, no longer love bombing phase and full of drama
    Had gotten out from that relationship
    Then I met a new man.. He applied love bombing to me, but I've learned the hard way, so I didnt buy it
    But he still approached me, so then I try to show him like I've fallen for him
    And that's when he started to change
    Which is a true proof I've been looking for
    He emotionally distant and no longer reply, that's when i deleted his number
    It's better if they devalue me.

  • @centpushups
    @centpushups 11 месяцев назад

    Be what you are looking for. Great start to grow yourself first. Believe me when you are godly you will sense godlyness.

  • @aricarter6523
    @aricarter6523 4 года назад +14

    You’re such a blessing!!!

  • @worldchanges10
    @worldchanges10 4 года назад +5

    ...and be your true authentic self and let love either come or never for your own peace sake

  • @CherishEachDay2023
    @CherishEachDay2023 Год назад +1

    So good and spot on! Thank you for this comparison between “love bombing” that has nothing to do with genuine love, and actual love that the bible describes so beautifully. God bless you for this important video. ❤

  • @MistresstheMediator
    @MistresstheMediator 3 года назад +3

    I saw the applaud button as I was thinking to Myself “Wow, This info is too good to be free! Thank You!

  • @MarsTV_Cartoons
    @MarsTV_Cartoons 2 года назад +2

    I've just been love bombed by a little stripy guy with a pink nose and pointy ears. He gave me endless love and affection until I made his dinner and after that he just acted like I didn't even exist. 😼🐾

  • @catzska
    @catzska 2 года назад +1

    Great video. I have a close friend struggling with a break up and can not break free. I sent him your video. I have been in horrific Narcissist relationships in my past and have been single for years by chose to educate myself, grow and learn how to be happy alone. I am finally at peace and have learned so much about myself and I will never get into another relationship unless I receive back what I give out. I am worthy of this which I did not know before. Thank you for this video. Great job. 💜💕

    • @odoemmanuelchikwado4425
      @odoemmanuelchikwado4425 2 года назад

      Hello To Get back your ex specific person (sp) reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce or bnish third party from your relationship inbox Dr Kelly right away ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️

    • @odoemmanuelchikwado4425
      @odoemmanuelchikwado4425 2 года назад

      Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^

  • @mydawgzz
    @mydawgzz 4 года назад +14

    Those 9 qualities can also be served with a side of duplicity. You really have to learn how to identify these people and figure out what they want from you. They are not putting all of that energy into you without generating a return on their investment. The "love bombers" know what they are doing and they are good at it.

    • @brittc18
      @brittc18 3 года назад +1

      What do they want?

    • @dennisahdaniel9573
      @dennisahdaniel9573 3 года назад +3

      They want someone to distract them from their own personal hellscape. They will do and say anything to keep you by their side and don't care about you like they claim to.

  • @JB-ww8jh
    @JB-ww8jh Год назад +4

    I got badly lovebombed lately... things moved so fast and then suddenly everything just changed. then she was giving me mixed signals and then saying it made her feel uncomfortable when I wanted to ask her what she meant by some of the really confusing and leading on things she said. It's so unfair I feel hurt and honestly thought I wanted to be friends with her but now she's saying she needs distance. I feel betrayed and manipulated. I feel like my kindness was taken for granted. She told me all of the things in this video. She said stuff like "you're so amazing" and "are you even real?" and "I wanna go on holiday with you" and "I love you so much baby" and "you're so sexy" and all of this stuff. It just hurts and whats worse is that I work at the same place as her. Her lack of self awareness is just weird because she said my behaviour has been inconsistent.... The Irony of this is unbelievable

    • @PJHEATERMAN
      @PJHEATERMAN Год назад +1

      Your story is identical to my wife being love bombed by her coworker. She left me and our two daughters aged 5 and 2 years old. Narcissist's destroy lives. They are serial cheaters and have no problem dating or i should say preying on coworkers.

    • @nulu4048
      @nulu4048 Год назад

      how are you today? Same happened to me 1month ago.

    • @JB-ww8jh
      @JB-ww8jh Год назад +1

      @@nulu4048 doing okay yeah :)

    • @jonathancarnahan5180
      @jonathancarnahan5180 Год назад

      Yeah...I hear you ...the same happened to me....I was part of it also....she gave me a key to her house and aid come over whenever...I started doing work on her house then she blamed me for coming over unannounced.....it was confusing....she love bombed me with a purpose to manipulate me.i gave to her to help her and show her love with something tangible......I understand Bing shocked when they discard you ....they have no emotions ....just a chameleon stare

  • @Jazzmarcel
    @Jazzmarcel 4 месяца назад

    6:18 absolute ringer! this is the most profund thing ive heard in a long time!........

  • @fredaayres9339
    @fredaayres9339 2 года назад +1

    I fell for this even that I’d known him for years. The day after we were married, he changed completely. He was a complete stranger. He became cold distant and silent. After many years I discovered he was a narcissist. Leaves emotional damage.

  • @shaimaali7202
    @shaimaali7202 3 года назад +2

    How come this channel doesn't have millions of views and subs??!!!

  • @tadamoriyagi8265
    @tadamoriyagi8265 4 года назад +37

    I feel like I was love-bombed and then the person started to subtly devalue and pull back. I reacted negatively to the devaluation with mild annoyance. I probably could have reacted better, but I wasn't disrespectful and I let them have their space. I think the annoyance I was feeling was more a reaction to their mixed messages than my wanting to control or manipulate them. I feel they may have used my negative reaction as a justification that I wasn't respecting their boundaries. It's confusing because I feel like they are probably a narcissist, but also, I could see how my behavior might have been interpreted by them as narcissistic behavior. Has anyone else ever experienced this? Is this a common pattern?

    • @BillieGote
      @BillieGote 3 года назад +26

      Yes, and yes. It is a tactic for some abusers to push your buttons in so many subtle ways that you start to lose your cool, or freak out because you feel like you're losing your mind with their inconsistencies, or get frantic when you think you're losing them because you must be screwing up somehow. When they finally get you to blow your top, they can blame you for being "unstable" or "crazy" or "toxic". That makes you feel even worse, and you might even end up apologizing to them for your justified reaction to their crazy-making. Always pay attention to how you feel when you are with them, and in a relationship with them. The cycle is called Idealize - Devalue - Discard, and as soon as you start to lose confidence in yourself, second-guess yourself, feel guilty for doing things wrong in the relationship, compare the difference between how they started out and how they are now. You're starting to see their real self, and understand that it won't get better but it will get a lot worse. The love-bombing was not real, and what you fell in love with was a fiction. That person doesn't actually exist. Drop the fraudster and run.

    • @maguiedossantos2925
      @maguiedossantos2925 3 года назад +12

      My dear search more on narcissistic gaslighting and you will understand what's happening to you. This person made you doubt your perception of of their intentions. Trust your gut instinct and dont let nobody manipulate your intelligence.
      Another advice: when someone shows you their colours, please believe that's who they are.
      If you came to the video is because your intuition is telling you something...

    • @ritavandermerwe231
      @ritavandermerwe231 2 года назад +1

      Editor
      You use the words “them their them”. I’m sure Thadamori meant “her” - single.
      Thadimor’ yes what you’ve experienced is very true Normally such a person had a traumatic childhood. Just being in many schools can result in it. Or single parent.

    • @npkrn6764
      @npkrn6764 2 года назад +5

      Yes. This is something people like this expect sooner or later. They know eventually you'll get ticked off at their inconsistencies and either pull away, act passive-aggressive, or blow up at them - since those are probably the main 3 ways people react to hot and cold treatment. They know this so they are already prepared to throw your anger back on you like YOU are the problem. That's called gaslighting.
      This is something highly manipulative or narcissistic people do. Odds are also that you are not the first person they've treated like this so they are practiced at the whole cycle, and they may even be experts - while if this is the first time we've experienced this, we're novices. THE ONLY WAY TO WIN, IS NOT TO PLAY. Often, however, we only come to these realizations after a long time of confusion, self doubt, anxiety, trying to get back into their good graces, etc... by then we've often degraded OURSELVES and have no dignity left and they'll see us kind folks as nothing more than weak. The only way to preserve yourself is by completely cutting them off from your life. Even if they ghost you first, that's fine - just remember, you'll probably hear from them again. It may be a month or a year or 10 years, but if they are truly manipulative and get off on having a circle of adoring people, they'll want to get back into your world at some point. Not for you, but because their ego WILL NOT LET THEM LOSE. If you walked away with your dignity and never contacted them again - and if they are truly highly narcissistic and conniving, they'll want back in simply to KNOW they can have you again to boot their ego and they will quickly disappear all over again.
      I had this happen to me years ago and learned my lessons. Then about 2 years ago I met someone who started the love bombing too and I immediately told him to ✋️ STOP. I told him exactly what he was doing and that if he was intending on taking my kindness for weakness he would be dead wrong and wasting his time. And guess what??? After that conversation, I never heard from him again. Yeah....I guess all that "love" he was feeling was total BS.
      You've got to do what I did next time someone starts that and see how they respond. The good news is that now that you are aware and educating yourself on these tactics of evil - you'll be immune - and with a good personal compass and diligence to paying attention for this behavior in the future, you will be better off. And even if people try this or lie or lead you on in the future, you can atleast cut them off completely and keep your dignity. When they remember you, they'll NOT try to get back in and they'll hate you for not being their doormat.... but they'll respect you. They'll hate that too of course 🤣😂 but who cares! People like that DESPISE dignity and personal strength. Why??? Because THEY DON'T POSSESS THOSE QUALITIES. Hence why they have to manipulate to get what they want. They KNOW they are damaged (at least on some level) and know they could never equal you.
      I know I've written a lot and I hope it helps in some small way, although I do see your comment was already a year or so ago. But I rewatch videos and through comments as maintenance to remind myself because we will all continue to meet these types of people - in love, friendships, the workplace, wherever.

    • @tadamoriyagi8265
      @tadamoriyagi8265 2 года назад +3

      @@npkrn6764 Yes. This is very helpful, and I know exactly what you mean. I watch the videos and comment too for the very same reason. And again, yes, I feel like I know so much now about cluster-B personality disorders and emotional abuse that I could get a degree in psychology. It takes a long time to heal, but we will both heal from and be stronger for it. Wishing you the best in your journey!

  • @popejesus3851
    @popejesus3851 2 года назад +1

    Thank you. When someone asks me why I'm mean when I first meat them, I say " I'm not trying to butter you up"
    I'm not really mean I just do certain things to build that first interaction. But it depends on who's in front of me. Sometimes I get certain vibes that are bad so I have to be on alert and look for signs of anything that is concerning. Meeting tons of people has helped me manage the difference in other people and there lingo.

  • @rebekahjette6304
    @rebekahjette6304 2 года назад +1

    It is being desired by the abuser rather than being cherished!

  • @gwillis01
    @gwillis01 9 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for an informative video

  • @helsphoenix2623
    @helsphoenix2623 Год назад

    Man, I love bomb and don't stop. I do so many of these things but not to a toxic degree and I always respect boundaries. I love passion and playfulness and want that dynamic to always be there and I don't run at the first sign of trauma or trouble or sadness in a partner. A lot of this advice seems super shallow. You know, it IS possible to fall in love deeply and quickly...just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean I can't be the ocean. ;)

  • @LeeAnnahsCreations
    @LeeAnnahsCreations Год назад +2

    This can be applied to other types of relationships - family members and friends!

  • @melonie_peppers
    @melonie_peppers 3 года назад +3

    Omg I was just nodding agreeably throughout this video

  • @catherine9808
    @catherine9808 3 года назад +9

    Thank God I found this channel. I've been broken the past few days after ending a relationship that I thought was promising but I was being love bombed. Told so much about marriage and kids all the things I am hoping for but actions didn't match up at all. I was blaming myself for expecting too much or for being too much

  • @elizabeth_mcgregor
    @elizabeth_mcgregor 2 года назад +2

    My ex did all of this. He disgusts me now.

  • @Grelotmystiqueetal
    @Grelotmystiqueetal Год назад

    The only thing is my ex faked gentleness, kindness, patience… for a long while. But, I should have had my eyes open; he could nir respect my rythm and put pressure to go faster.

  • @melonie_peppers
    @melonie_peppers 3 года назад +3

    You explained this soooo well omg I'm so grateful for this video🥺

  • @heathereads9594
    @heathereads9594 3 года назад +5

    I wish I had this info 15 years ago. Spot on! Is there hope if you are married to Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde?

  • @country_surf
    @country_surf 4 года назад +6

    When you actually get to know god on a spiritual level he gives you Galatians 5 22-23. You can’t attain these qualities without the help of him. You can mimic but not attain because humans are corrupt beings and that’s their nature.

  • @bluliite
    @bluliite 4 года назад +8

    Love bombers = potential pimp, trafficker. You're a nice person but when you recognize the bombing do not think you are smart or aware enough to continue to be kind to this person and their manipulations not blind you at some point down the road. The heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). Pray for them, and stay away.

  • @profmj7630
    @profmj7630 3 года назад +2

    😍Best video ever!!! Definitely need to share this with young and old women...love your delivery style...healing and eye opening

  • @Lidiroyal
    @Lidiroyal 4 года назад +6

    Nice video. I totally agree.
    Edit: this guy I went on a date with told me he loved me the first time he met me. 😂

    • @josmclove4426
      @josmclove4426 2 года назад

      Love at first sight 🤣🤣

    • @ginasverige2570
      @ginasverige2570 Год назад

      Scary, the good thing is that helped you to run away. Some hide it so well (vulnerable narcissist) we end up marrying them. 😭

  • @whisperingangelasmr
    @whisperingangelasmr 3 года назад +2

    The best video with explaining details of the narc relationship. Thank you!

  • @Trenchant468
    @Trenchant468 2 года назад +1

    Early on he entered my home when I wasn’t there, and switched around my dresser drawers. It was the beginning of invading my privacy in the name of helpfulness until there was no place to hide. When he flipped I would say to him that his eyes looked like a reptile.

  • @leahc8347
    @leahc8347 3 года назад +1

    Oh my gosh. So familiar. Need to hear this again every time my love trauma missing him feelings hit in ☹😭

  • @AllThingsFitnessandLifestyle
    @AllThingsFitnessandLifestyle 3 года назад +1

    Through your voice with out seeing the video, as I was listening I was just in awe ❤️
    Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @traytracey7144
    @traytracey7144 4 года назад +12

    Hey, I loved this video! Thank you so much! I am 20 nearly 21 years old and I have struggled to find godly men around my age. Do you have any tips on how to handle dating in my 20’s as a religious person please? 💓

    • @michellexnicole6181
      @michellexnicole6181 3 года назад

      Same here !!! 😞😭

    • @rosettesionne9139
      @rosettesionne9139 2 года назад +1

      You need to pay attention because there are narcissist in church too and for me they are the worse, I saw toxic men who use the Bible as an excuse to mistreat women and subjugate them. If you don't have trust in yourself and your faith they may transform you into a Christian slave. I saw this situation more than once

    • @GlowandGrow_
      @GlowandGrow_ 2 года назад +1

      Keep strong boundaries in place and be very mindful of those who disregard/disrespect them.

  • @IloveYou-hy7lw
    @IloveYou-hy7lw 3 года назад +2

    Thank you im happy to hear the fruit of spirit. yes true that is true love.i love this vedio.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @lightartis228
    @lightartis228 3 года назад +7

    meanwhile me an introvert failing to understand why love bombing counts as a valid strategy to make someone like you in the first place xD

  • @shawnamackenzie1877
    @shawnamackenzie1877 3 года назад

    You phrase this so clearly and make it so easy to understand.

  • @m.ggonzalez925
    @m.ggonzalez925 2 года назад +2

    Love-bombing words without proofs is a narcisistic behavior that wants to play mind games, manipulate and control your life.
    Real love is unconditional (1 Cor.13:4-8) and has the FRUIT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.( Gal.5:22-23)

  • @HAD2SAYSOMETHING
    @HAD2SAYSOMETHING 3 года назад +1

    Thank you. You gave me the so much inside on my narcissist wow

  • @Keith_Mikell
    @Keith_Mikell Год назад

    My narc had me believing they were down for whatever. They were a real, kind, down to earth pure soul. I put the pieces together and exited. Then blocked. Gotta go no contact.

  • @tazaman2009
    @tazaman2009 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much and I'm a guy... I will definitely take and share this with my friends and family male and female alike. I will have to watch this one a couple of more times. 😎

  • @Dragonfly_magictarot
    @Dragonfly_magictarot Год назад

    I told him one time, sometimes I think you’re bipolar…I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I didn’t know about the Jekyll and Hyde

  • @kevinmalone3210
    @kevinmalone3210 Год назад

    I live next to a major supermarket chain, and there's this woman who works there, I found out she's married and has a couple of kids. She looks to be in her early, maybe mid 40s. She has been working there for sometime. I'm a customer that goes there alot and previously, this woman never paid much attention to me, but out of the clear blue, recently she started saying hi to me, and being friendly with me. Even going so far as using my name. She learned it from a manager there who has said hi to me. I asked her name and she told me, and she'll say hi to me whenever she sees me. She once even said hi to me from across the supermarket parking lot when I was 50 yrds away from her. She opened up to me by telling me where she lives, and mentioning she has children. I caught her more than once staring at me, and she even went out of way more than once to talk to me. One time, before she started being friendly towards me, I greeted her in a friendly manner and asked her how she was doing, (because I secretly liked her), right to her face and she completely ignored me. I thought, what? So from then on I started ignoring her. Then she later started this being friendly with me. Just now, I hadn't seen her for 3 weeks at this supermarket, and I was just there hanging out, where their coffee shop is, using their wi fi. She saw me and said hi, then kept walking. I asked her what happened to her, and she said she was sick. Don't know what to make of her behavior. I like her alot and am attracted to her, but maybe I should ask her why all of a sudden she decided to be friendly with me, as if, are you really interested in me? Or perhaps forget her, regardless because she is married. I'm single and about 10 yrs older than her. Maybe she feels sorry for me or something and she thinks I could just use some cheering up?

  • @QuikModsOBS
    @QuikModsOBS 3 года назад

    So many men need to learn this!

  • @FierceFashion
    @FierceFashion 3 года назад +1

    Your hair is gorgeous!

  • @anarojasluna
    @anarojasluna 2 года назад

    This video is an amazing work. Thank you!

  • @veeveemille8830
    @veeveemille8830 Год назад

    I’d rather call it “Manipulative Generosity”. It’s not “manipulative kindness” because kindness has nothing to do with it.

  • @nirmaladrieskens4338
    @nirmaladrieskens4338 3 года назад

    Amazing video! Love it♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌈🌈🌈💕💕💕👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾😘😘😘☀️☀️☀️

  • @amalyah46
    @amalyah46 3 года назад +4

    I like the term manipulative kindness. Mine is a mechanic who knows how to fix anything, He uses that against me because he says I will never find a man who knows what he does and that you will lose lots of money paying to get things fixed.

  • @millag93
    @millag93 4 года назад +1

    I love this! You are amazing!

  • @kristel6647
    @kristel6647 3 года назад +1

    Yep...before our first date
    So confusing

  • @cynthiabecker3363
    @cynthiabecker3363 Год назад

    I feel so stupid! He won’t leave me alone!! He is everything you say is him, word for word!
    He keeps asking me for money! I blocked
    him! He knows how to manipulate my account so he has access to my phone!
    What do I do!!

  • @tazaman2009
    @tazaman2009 3 года назад +1

    Or they might be charming you the way they charmed the last person or supply because it worked on them. Giving them the same gifts and what not...

  • @vanessabrandow7052
    @vanessabrandow7052 3 года назад +4

    Well i just faced the real truth, i never had real love, damm this sucks, really.

    • @SarahMcDugal
      @SarahMcDugal  3 года назад +3

      I’m so sorry. It’s a harsh realization. But seeing the truth opens space for healing 💜

    • @vanessabrandow7052
      @vanessabrandow7052 3 года назад

      I have learned the painful way, and over years of pain, if you never saw real love being given, don't beat yourself up, you can't give what was never given to you to start with, but you can learn how to, it just takes time , lots i might add.

  • @gelokakabu9473
    @gelokakabu9473 3 года назад

    💘new subbie here. im hooked! tnx so much for this! huhu 😘😌 youre a blessing 💙

  • @wisesavedone2721
    @wisesavedone2721 3 года назад +1

    Thank you I love this!!!!!!!💯💯💯💯💯💯💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤❤

  • @EEsYouTubeChanel
    @EEsYouTubeChanel Год назад

    I think you need to touch on how people do this in friendships

  • @daniellamantia7324
    @daniellamantia7324 2 года назад

    Sarah your so right sweetie God bless you sweetie

  • @edtres09
    @edtres09 4 года назад

    Wow. Awesome content. So informative. Thank you.

  • @kylereyes3373
    @kylereyes3373 3 года назад +4

    How do you heal from this? :(

  • @MistresstheMediator
    @MistresstheMediator 3 года назад

    Super video! I applauded for $5.00 👏👏

  • @egrrl4
    @egrrl4 2 года назад

    Thank you so much for this❤️❤️

  • @-melanie-1115
    @-melanie-1115 3 года назад

    This video is amazing. Thank you.

  • @TheSheila4444
    @TheSheila4444 2 года назад

    Omg he wanted a commitment on the second date of course the first date was the best date of his life and we’re over 50 and then because I’m so strong and independent when everything didn’t go its way he broke it off and I made sure I let him know what I thought of him and he is now enjoying his Christmas present of losing the best thing he ever had a possible chance with:)

  • @lisarochwarg4707
    @lisarochwarg4707 3 года назад +4

    Tell it to Prince Harry. He could use your advice.

  • @Jl-ys7fu
    @Jl-ys7fu 3 года назад

    This is amazing info. Wow

  • @Lyzylyzy1922
    @Lyzylyzy1922 2 года назад

    You explained it so well!!!!!!!💯💯😭😭

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      @odoemmanuelchikwado4425 2 года назад

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